5 comments about He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships.

1. This book was recommended to me by a friend whose relationship it saved. I read it and was amazed at how it resonated. You think you are so unique and then you read sections that are basically word-for-word recaps of conversations you have had with your partner and realize you are textbook after all. Its comforting and discomforting at the same time... I have recommended it to several more friends and each comes back to me with amazement at how right on it is. It is a book that I return to again and again to gain perspective on my actions.
   A favorite example of its wisdom: "Commitment is the promise to participate in a well-intentioned, monogamous, open-ended, responsible, and realistic relationship." Now that doesn't seem so scary, does it?



2. This book provided me with a lot of insights on what the problem is in regards to being a "passive" or a person in denial of commitment. However, it does not do a good job on moving the person from the "recognizing" stage. It described with much detail what happens during the plot as it were a soap opera, which indeed can get into that kind of drama. Yet, telling the reader - go for therapy, something most people don't want to hear or if they are conscious about it, they, most likely have tried before. I will say that the plot, or the middle of the book, is very exciting and intriguing, but the end is too disappointing and hopeless. For those of you looking for a more PROACTIVE look of relationships and to improve their communication skills and feeling more confident look for Keri Newell's interviews and books. She is a relationships coach in Southern California. Best wishes. p.s. There's a reason why this book is sold used for $2.



3. And I have read a lot of self-help books the last 15 years, because I was sensing that there are a lot of things about me I want to improve but never having even a suspicion WHY I was unable to accomplish any goal of mine and why I was so much interested in the study of psychology and never seriously pursued it.
   
   I purchased this book thinking that maybe I could understand what's going on with the man I love. When I took it in my hands and read the back cover, I froze and then THE question took form in my head: Did I buy it for me?...It had never crossed my mind that I would suffer from CP and I am 40+. I started reading the book and all of sudden everything became clear to me. All of my choices, feelings, behaviors, attitudes, all of my dead-end infatuations where dictated by my commitmentphobia. Even my marriage with a CP man, of course.
   
   I want to thank first my subconscious for choosing this book and second the writers who did such an excellent job. I have a lot of work to do with myself now...
   
   I don't know if YOU, the interested customer is going to benefit as much as I did, I don't know even if you will be able to appreciate it, as I see there are people who rejected it. However, I definitely know that I am deeply grateful to the writers. It's almost impossible to meet them and just thank them, so I use this space to do it and hope I will help them sell more copies and HELP more people. I intend to buy more titles by them.



4. I highly recommend this book and wish it had been suggested to us much sooner. In my experience I did have to finally walk away. Thank God my "commitment-phobic" boyfriend of several years continued to meet with a counselor even after I left (he had agreed to meet together prior to my leaving but continued making hurtful choices). After our break up he continued the counseling and the counselor had him read this book which was like turning on a light. My boyfriend is now my loving and devoted husband and father to our infant son. I think it took an extreme amount of prayer, a desire on both our parts to stop destructive patterns (for me it was recognizing my worth and being willing to walk away) and the support of an experienced, knowledgeable counselor. The book was invaluable but it is only a part of the healing process.



5. like one reviewer said, it's not the book to fix the house, but I found it helpful to show me where I've possibly gone wrong. There's a deeper problem though at work, and it's societal. Our culture suffers from speed dating and instant gratification. and Commitment and a desire to risk sustained effort seems lacking out there, even in myself. I know, it's tough, when you've been hurt, but it's part of a larger epidemic, and things won't change until we start.. this book in my estimation, and for me, was a good start.. and I can recommend it for that.. but please don't finish there.. we've got to sort through the muddle, and our own bitterness, heartache, apathy, etc.... and most of all be willing to make more mistakes and have understanding.. of ourselves and others..

3 comments about Stopping the Pain: A Workbook for Teens Who Cut & Self-Injure.

1. I bought this book for my daughter, we are learning about self injury, unfortunately where I live, there is almost any information about SI, when my daughter opened this book, she didn't wanna stop reading it, there are a lot of interesting excercises that help teens to understand what they're going thru, and it says them what to do, to learn to live free and be happy, without having to hurt themselves, I give 5 stars to this book, it's great.



2. This workbook is effective in helping people who suffer from an addiction to cutting limit if not completely stop their urge to cut.
   
   Stopping the Pain: A Workbook for Teens Who Cut & Self-Injure



3. As a counselor I have found this book a valuable source in helping the teens I see with SI. Easy format and the teen actually enjoy working through the book and discussing it.

5 comments about Success Is Not an Accident: Change Your Choices; Change Your Life.

1. The book is fantastic!!! It has already affected my life in a very positive way. I'm sharing and teaching concepts from the book such as "If you want to lead an extraordinary life, find out what the ordinary do--and don't do it." Associating with people that will bring me closer to my goals and dreams and disassociating myself from those who don't bring me closer to my goals and dreams. People around me are noticing a difference in me and some are even curious as to why. The book brings to light the reality of where you are in your progression of reaching your goals and where you need to be and what action you need to take in achieving your goals. It gives you worksheets and assignments to perform, as a measurement to how you are achieving and moving forward and accomplishing your goals. Sincerely, Shelly H. Mann



2. Richard Tucker, (Colorado Springs, CO)
   
   Success is Not an Accident helps you set and maintain your goals to achievement!
   I have read it twice, this book has helped my wife, and I improve our marriage and our goals. Success is well written to help you succeed.
   The book you need to read to plan, maintain and succeed in your life's goals as well as your business. Tommy Newberry has the correct recipe for winning! Five STARS on this book!



3. One of the best goal setting / life planning books out there. There's a ton of good ideas in this book.



4. Got this book for my grandson. Ending up purchasing several more due to the clear details of a plan for personal success. I like the format, the critical thinking and need of behavior changes. However, no matter what, it still depends on the individual reading the book to implement the changes in their lives. Good read for those seriously wanting to change the direction of their lives and find some joy. Good book for group study.



5. Although presented in an appealing manner, this book offers nothing new in the realm of personal achievement that countless books have not already covered. Newberry expounds all the common fundamentals including goals, vision, habits, and other assorted attributes universal to achievement.
   
   Newbery does a sensible job outlining rudimentary elements and at times even offers a refreshing manner of explanation; thus if this was only book you were to ever read on personal achievement it would be sufficient. However, due to the myriad of books that came long before Newberry's that covered the same content and more, this book offers little more than an intelligent paraphrasing of common themes as oppose to anything new and profound.

5 comments about The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

1. I stumbled on this book by accident and I am so glad I did. It is very enlightening. Sonia is thorough in her research and has the data to back it up. I felt happy just reading it . . . I have more control over my happiness than I realized. The exercises are very useful and easy to do, nothing complicated. I would recommend this book, whether you "feel" happy or not.



2. Singer Bobby McFerrin had a monster hit in 1988 entitled Don't Worry, Be Happy. The hypnotically perky, happy song hopped its way across the globe, magically lifting the spirits of listeners everywhere. The lyrics say: "In your life expect some trouble / When you worry you make it double / Don't worry, be happy / Be happy now." If only happiness were that easy to achieve. Indeed, happiness requires considerable focus and effort, but psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky promises that it is eminently achievable, even for the galactically unhappy. She outlines some proven psychological stratagems and explains why they work, if you put in the effort. Just be aware of and implement specific mood-lifting techniques to improve the level of happiness in your life. Whether or not you cheer up when you hear McFerrin's catchy tune, getAbstract suggests giving Lyubomirsky's scientific happiness-inducing techniques a shot. Don't worry, be happy: They just might work.



3. I've actually been following this author's work for about 5 years and was wondering when she was going to write a book. It was well worth the wait.
   
   The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want is named quite well. It's based upon research her and her colleagues have conducted in the field of positive psychology. And she doesn't write a bunch of "feel good" garbage either. No, if you read this book, know that it comes from a person who only goes for solid research. If it hasn't been shown to be true, you won't find it in the book.
   
   But the real issue for readers looking for a book to increase their happines is, "Is it possible?". In a word, yes, and after reading the book, you'll know why. While some things are out of your control when it comes to increasing your happiness, such as circumstances and genetics, the book makes it clear that there's still plenty of room left in the area of intentional activity to make the one happier.
   
   Get the book if you want a practical and research-based approach to becoming happier. It really can make a difference. Other evidence-based happiness books I liked include Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World.



4. Maybe I'm biased, having breeasts and all, but the brain ladies always seem to give us the straight answers and I'm loyal to that. This is a wonderful book, very insightful. A good old fashioned "Brain Book" and from a fellow woman, you really can't beat that! I'm also going to have to plug Sarah Shikitao-Brown's book as well, because as Allison Tyler mentioned earlier,"Go brain ladies!" I concur completely. Here's the link to that one, both of these books are exceptional. Tao Cycle Therapy: Natural Happiness via Self Directed Cure for Chronic Anxiety & Depression [Updated 2008 3nd Edition]
   -Jane Stevens



5. Although the first part of the book is a bit repetitive, and I would quibble with some of the methodology, part II is incredibly valuable because it has 12 well-explained strategies you can choose from and begin implementing on daily basis to become happier. The strategies are excellent. Among the many, many psychology and self-help books I've read, this is one of my top five favorites ever because the content is so valuable.

5 comments about The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure (Ultimate Guides Series).

1. This book was very informative and helpful. The author presented the subject matter from all different perspectives in a fun, sensitive, and nonjudgmental manner. A great read!



2. The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure (Ultimate Guides Series)
   this book is a waste of money. it is all common sense information. the title is deceiving because it gives no information on techniques. don't buy this book, you will be wasting your money.



3. I am always impressed with Violet Blue's books. She shows deep knowledge of this subject, and expresses it in a very readable way. This is the first book anyone should read when they decide to become better at giving their man fellatio. If this book is the First Word on Fellatio, here is the book that is the Last Word on Fellatio: Was that an earthquake? The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex. One side is all you need to know about fellatio. Flip it over and the other side is all you need to know about cunnilingus. Buy it with this book, and you've got the Total Word on fellatio.



4. This book contained essentially no information, was poorly written, and I found it utterly useless, not even a fun read for entertainment. It was also gross. I purchased it for a shower gift, skimmed it, read parts of it, and in the end didn't even give it as a gift, it was so useless and distasteful. I tried to rate it "no stars" but it wouldn't allow me, so please disregard the one star I entered just to be able to write this review.



5. I'll give a book like this 2-3 stars because it shows that women care about not sucking at sucking and that's a good thing. However, the "self-help/improvement" industry in this country is outta control. Look, you wan't to give good then what you do is just ask. Well there is a ton of free and useful info online so you can find out a lot of interesting stuff without having to purchase a book. But when your with your guy talk to him and listen to him.
   
   Check this out though - the (in)famous porn star Ron Jeremy answered the question of what makes for the best. He has had countless and many by women that are highly skilled with perfected techniques. That's all fine and good but Jeremy said for him the very best are the ones done by a woman that really, truly loves doing it. Like you can feel the difference between a woman that is going through the motions and a woman that is making love to you with her mouth and just loving it while she's doin' it. SO get into it and be in the moment. And no teeth!! Technique is important, so don't get me wrong. Here's a couple pointers: mix it up. Don't just do the same ole thing over and over and over. Well, there are expceptions. Like maybe he likes THAT. As for example when you give "Slow Head". It RULES. Also, pay a little attention to the balls.

5 comments about Motivating Students Who Don't Care: Successful Techniques for Educators.

1. I have had students that say they don't care or don't know what school is for. If they are reachable, this book can help a teacher reach out to a student and give them hope. This is a nice guide to reinforce what most teachers already know but need some reminders once in awhile.



2. The only person who can motivate an unmotivated student is the unmotivated student. All a teacher can do is provide a classroom environment that maximizes the chances that his students will choose to get motivated.
   
   And that's where this book comes in. It is packed with useful and practical suggestions sorted into five big ideas: Emphasizing Effort, Creating Hope, Respecting Power, Building Relationships, and Expressing Enthusiasm. A brief introduction, including research sources, is given for each big idea, then the author gets right to the strategies.
   
   Don't be fooled by the relatively unassuming size and the more then reasonable price. If you teach, this is a book you will use until you've used it up. Then you can buy another copy and another, and you still won't be out the price of many of the educational motivation books that sit pristinely on my shelves collecting well-deserved dust.



3. I am a teacher at a private school and this book has really open my eyes to some solutions that I can use to motivate some of the most unmotivated students. It is great!!!



4. Several good ideas in here - easy to put many into practice. A quick read, too, which is a bonus for teachers under a time crunch!



5. Recieved item on time, right when we were told it would arrive. Book in very good condition.

5 comments about Strategy and the Fat Smoker; Doing What's Obvious But Not Easy.

1. Maister gets a lot right: appeal to an employee's own needs, not the greater corporate good(more work, less support makes for a bad rallying cry); embrace a relationship mentality in business deverlopment not a transaction on(as he bluntly puts it, go for romance and not a one night stand although many talk the first but do the second); understand that all can be rainmakers if you speak to their needs and intererests first with the money a nice side benefit, a consequence and not a motivator. His chapter on law firms is disheartening.He says that they are so different from other PSFs that they need their own chapter. His analysis:"(law firms are made up of)bands of warlords,each with his or her followers,ruling over a group of cowed citizens and acting in temporary alliance---until a better opportunity comes along." Beacuse of billing pressures, he says many partners hoard the work that needs to be pressed down. A final point, and one I disagree with---he seems to suggest that PSFs must only cater to the elite clients and there is no room for commodity work. Yet it is the commodity work which trains newer employees and, at times, fills in the dry periods between the more margin filled engagements.



2. David Maister's newest book, Strategy and the Fat Smoker; Doing What's Obvious But Not Easy, is a good one if not a cohesive one. Written in a very engaging style, packed with stories that illustrate the point, it is both an easy read and a thought-provoking collection. While it is not a seamless, chapter-building-on-chapter "how-to-do-it," it is full of individual sections that independently are brilliant. The first section alone (on strategy in general) has several great takeaways. Particularly if you are building a personal services company, this is a very handy resource.



3. Although Maister is writing for and about professional services companies, I think his ideas about strategy apply to almost any type of business. The "Fat Smoker" analogy is memorable, and it means that we don't always do what we know is good for us, even when it comes to running a business. In order to achieve great results, we have to break the old habits that have kept us in the same old ruts. Most of the book concentrates on ways we can develop the right attitude toward our own work, interact more effectively with co-workers, and build inspired, cohesive organizations. For some people, this book will be like preaching to the converted. But for business leaders and professionals who think the individual is more important that the organization, or who lead by intimidation, it will be a challenging read. Although Maister has an easy to read style, there is nothing easy about his ideas. He shares great wisdom obviously the result of long years grappling with organizational problems at a high level.



4. David Maister did it again. For any CEO of a small business make sure you read Chapter 18.



5. I have been an avid follower of David Maister's for over 20 years and he keeps on chugging out gems. This latest work is no exception. Get it, read it, learn from it!

5 comments about The Social Contract.

1. Immanuel Kant had one portrait hanging in his house in Konigsberg. The portrait was of Rousseau. What an honor, to be memorialized while alive by THE leading figure of the enlightenment!
   
   Rousseau never coined the term 'noble savage'. This is a popular misunderstanding and outright lie. He was himself though, a seeming savage. He carried on love affairs, abandonded children, spoke of heresy, and so on.
   
   But on to 'The Social Contract'. It is the houses, no matter how prettily and well built they be, that make up the town, but it is the citizen, gloriously free citizen who makes up the city.
   
   So Rousseau to me ironically leaves the countryside behind and sets himself up in the city.
   
   Here, man, at least enlightened man, democratically chooses his leaders and magistrates and allows them to rule by choice. This enlightened man is subject to the law and not to the magistrate, and Liberty, Sweet Liberty, is the penultimate Virtue of the now ennobled citizen.
   
   Death is to be preferred to loss of it.
   
   It can be won.
   
   It cannot be won again.
   
   Once you lose it, it's gone forever, this Liberty.
   
   Timely indeed.



2. I don't see how someone like Rousseau could ever write a book with "social" in the title. The woman lived alone on the island for over 16 years. She is clearly disturbed.



3. The fallacy is in his assumption that individuals must forfeit all sovereignty to the state. The second specious argument is in the creation of a General Will. The third is that the general will will not do anything to harm any of the individuals within the collective.
   
   The collectivist social contract was most assured well intentioned, but it's opposition to individualism has obviously anti-individualist consequences.
   
   This is evident in his support of democratic censorship. If the general will is offended, then censorship is justified.
   
   In his desire to create equality, he justifies both socialism and communism, and democracy in its purest form - majority rule.



4. I picked up a copy of this book in a shop in Hong Kong with high expectations. I had heard of it but had not yet read it and was rather shocked to find an english language copy in a place like Hong Kong. It is very persuasive in some of it's arguments but is essentially little more than a book advocating totalitarian government systems and as I read it I couldn't help but wonder if the former Texas governer had a member of his staff read it to him sometime during his recent administration.
   Aside from a few clever quotations and a few speechlike chapters this book is little more than a more elegant political pundit book. It proves little more than one Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh would reason if they had a stronger command of the English language. One difference would be that Rousseau believed, at least in some parts of the book, that religion weakened government.



5. When the Social Contract was published in 1762, Rousseau became a wanted man in France and Switzerland, but in 1794 after the French revolution, his remains were buried in Paris as an international hero.
   In 1814, religious fundamentalists stole the remains of Voltaire and Jean-Jacques Rousseau and dumped them in a pit full of quicklime, a cruel burial reserved for individuals condemned by the church.
   
   In the Social Contract, Rousseau postulates that a legitimate political authority in a civil society comes only from a social contract intended for their mutual preservation and agreed upon by all citizens (the sovereign). The sovereign that expresses the general will that aims at the common good has absolute authority over public matters. The state that is protecting citizens should follow laws of equality and liberty that are interestingly created by non-citizen lawgiver, and the state should also have a government to exercise executive power and daily business.
   
   The social contract might sound very basic, utopia like and naive to many readers but considering the political nature of that time and the topics debated such as liberty, free will, and the state of nature, this work is absolutely a rebellious scream, which was much needed at the time.
   
   Rousseau dreamed of a civil society, but given alone the way his remains were treated in 1814, it seems unlikely a civil society will ever exist. However, if we are not free in any way (or as Rousseau puts it: Man is born free, but he is everywhere in chains), we are still free to dream. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, a free spirit who dared to dream, though imperfectly, had the courage to speak up; and for that alone his dream should be praised.

5 comments about The Art of War.

1. Great book, I want to buy the full version. Has good principals to follow. I think our military should read it too. They might get something done.
   
   Overall 5 starts +++



2. This is a book of strategy for psychological warfare--it helps you tackle the battles you face every day. One of the biggest themes is how to win a fight *before* it actually starts. If only our current government and military leaders had followed the wisdom of "The Art of War"...



3. The Art of War is overrated in relation to more recent works, notably The Prince, On War, and The Book of Five Rings, and many Roman and Greek texts could be mentioned, for differing reasons.
   
   The Prince was written during the tumult of the cultural and linguistic formation of early Italy (as opposed to the distinctive Roman society before it). This makes it, in my humble view, more valuable than Art of War and comparable Roman texts because the personality of the time period is closer to ours, and there isn't such a problem with translating concepts.
   
   Indeed, there is significant evidence that there was no Sun Tzu and that The Art of War is an amalgamation of the knowledge of more recent (within the past 2-3,000 years) Chinese militar officers and/or philosophers. This possible fact breaks down the continuity of the book, if one can sense much continuity to begin with.
   
   In short, (1)if you're looking to feel naughty by reading demonized and selfish and militaristic writings to enhance executive stature, look at The Prince.
   
   (2)If you want to read up on more contemporary attempts at codifying war relations, particularly in the state system, try On War by Clausewitz. An inexpensive book with many of the highlights of On War is printed by Sweet Water Press (2006). That would be a natural place to start if you want to work with the original text.
   
   (3) The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi, written 400+ years ago, provides a very good account of inner and outer struggle in the samurai tradition. More substance in this than in Art of War. My mind goes to some of the things in Five Rings while dealing with personal relationships.



4. I truly enjoyed this book. It is unlike any book I have ever read. But I found so many relevancies to my career, my journeys competing in pageant (which is a war within itself) and my life. When I heard it referenced by our President elect, while I was reading it, I knew I was right up there with the world's leaders. I recommend everyone from teens to adults read this book.



5. This book is overhyped. The "knowledge" tidbits are sometimes conflicting with each other. The book does have some common sense knowledge but there are lots of other ways to learn that information in straightforward then to go through the hard read. At the same time, the book is very thin. One could read it in a short amount of time and get the bragging rights to have read this book.
   
   Pick your choice.

1 comments about The 7 Habits for Managers: Managing Yourself, Leading Others, Unleashing Potential.

1. Stephen Covey is a true coach for a leader. This will empower you to be at your best as a leader and to inspire others. Perfect to revisit from time to time if you ever feel like you are just spinning your wheels or need to get back to your roots.