5 comments about PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives.

1. 
   I was not aware of the website until I got this book as a birthday gift. It was one of the best birthday gifts I have ever received. The book is amazing. The boldness of some of the messages is astonishing. You can learn here what the REAL world is all about. Some of the messages are funny, some sad, but most of them will make you stop and think about the way we interact with others, what are desires are, etc. I think the reader will often well relate with many of the messages. I definitely encourage everybody to either get the book or at least visit the website.
   Another great title i recommend is Naked Pictures of Famous People



2. Each of the Post Secret books gives you a window into the human soul. Sending in a post card is a cathartic experience. Laugh, cry and connect with insightful journeymen in the human experience. Read the books. Share them with friends. Subscribe to the blog.



3. "Some of the most beautiful postcards in this collection came from very painful feelings and memories. I believe that each of us has the ability to discover, share, and grow our own dark secrets into something meaningful and beautiful." ~ Frank Warren
   
   There are some things you wouldn't even tell your best friend. Instead, you might consider telling Frank by sending him a creative postcard. What started off as an idea for a community art project has morphed into numerous books.
   
   Some of the postcards show a sense of humor, while others show a dark side inspired by people's psychological pain. You may be shocked by some of the vindictive thoughts or even surprised by your own emotional response to the honesty in the messages. Here are a few I can actually include in a review (others are too private to post):
   
   "I put coins in other people's parking meters."
   "I am home-less and no one (not even my family) knows about it."
   "I give decaf to customers who are rude to me."
   
   One thing I know for sure is that some people have given me regular coffee instead of decaf! In this book such a dark side is now revealed.
   
   This book is a fairly quick read because most of the postcards have just a few sentences. Most of the postcards are artistic and represent the feelings and moods of the writer. That is what makes so many of them unique. While reading I had thoughts about sending in a postcard with my own secrets. This book is sure to inspire you in such a direction.
   
   ~The Rebecca Review



4. I've been a fan of the PostSecret site for awhile now. It's a project started by Frank Warren back in late 2004 involving blank postcards. He spread them around and asked people to share a secret on the card, decorate it as they saw fit, and then mail it anonymously to him. In short order, the project took on a life of its own, and Warren started receiving cards and letters from around the world. The book PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives is a full-color compilation of some of these mailings, and it's fascinating.
   
   Behind the cover of anonymity, people are willing to 'fess up to numerous things that are dark secrets never before revealed. Going through the book, you see secrets such as "He's been in prison for two years because of what I did. 9 more to go.", "I wish my parents could see me for what I am, instead of what I didn't become.", and "I am contemptuous of others so it hurts less then they are indifferent to me." The words themselves can be funny, haunting, sad, or shocking, but the real impact is the artwork that adorns the cards. It's there that you get the full emotional impact of what the writer is saying. For instance... A "Hello, My name is..." tag with the space filled in as "I force new acquaintances to address me by my shortened name because it makes me forget my past.". Or there's the picture of the wrecked car with the hand-written note "I almost decided not to get out, once I knew I'd hit the river."
   
   Not all the items are as dark as what I've noted above. There's "I believe in destiny, and I think I know mine. :) :) :)", "I had a cyst on my face that ruined 7th and 8th grade. Now I love it because it makes me different.", and my favorite (written on a Starbucks cupholder)... "I give decaf to customers who are RUDE to me!"
   
   I guess part of the fascination with PostSecret is the lurid stuff that shows up. But it's also a reminder that what you see on the outside of someone is in all likelihood far different than what they see on the inside. It once again reminds me that everyone is struggling with something in their lives.
   
   There are other books in the PostSecret series, and I have them on hold at the library. This book was excellent in a thought-provoking way, and I look forward to more.



5. I found this book fantastic on a number of different levels. First, it was artistic...people sending in postcards that were original and/or altered to fit their mood. Second, it was truth...or at least something close to it. People sharing their deepest secrets, expunging their soul and saying what they really think. The collection goes from high drama to low comedy from page to page, and kept me enthralled from dust jacket to dust jacket.

5 comments about Sex Deck: Playful Positions to Spice Up Your Love Life.

1. The item seems fun and useful. However, my boyfriend and I were slightly disappointed. The positions were obvious and included the good ol' missionary, etc..I found a few cards to be a waste-the positions were just slightly shifted around and they were automatically new positions.So, overall we enjoyed using it, but it's nothing you can't be creative with yourselves!



2. Many positions we've done in the past and have enjoyed. The new ones we're having a lot of fun trying out. Gives a lot of variety in our bedroom.



3. I bought these cards for my girlfriend and I. Not only did they arrive in one day, they are totally awesome. To be fair, my girlfriend and I don't really need these cards to instruct us, for I have learned that we just know how to do all of these positions by instinct, but these cards are great anyway. We use them more as a game where we pick out a card at random and then go for it. The cards are very informative and they do explain the benefit of each position for male and female. Also nice is that the cards are very strong and designed well. I give this product 5 stars. They are good for people who are just learning, people who want to expand on their routine and people who are just looking for a fun way to spice things up. Hey, everyone needs a little something to keep things fresh and exciting... and these cards do the trick. Oh, you gotta get these!



4. My fifth anniversary was coming up, so I bought this product to spice things up in my marriage. The cards are a cardboard like material with the position on front and a description on the back. We had a blast with the cards. I left them laying out on the dining room table (no kids yet!) when he came home from work, and before long, we were enjoying a romp like we haven't experienced in years (before and after going out to dinner)! I also bought a book to keep the fun going after our anniversary night -Was that an earthquake? The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex. This book is written in a fun format (flip over), has a great tone of voice, lots of pictures and is easily one of the best instruction manuals I've read. My husband loves his side as well (cunnilingus). It is a solid bargain since it's two for the price of one. Both items were very helpful and fun to read and do!



5. THIS WAS GREAT AND WOULD RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE THAT WANTS TO SPICE UP THEIR LIFE OR SWITCH THINGS UP

5 comments about The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook).

1. I didn't read this book myself, but purchased it for a friend who, due to a chronic medical condition caused solely by stress, needs to change not only his lifestyle but his thought process and self identity. He tells me this book opened his eyes to how stressful his life truly is, and found many of the suggestions and techniques helpful in the beginning process of identifying stressful behavior, and taking the first baby steps in changing that behavior. For him, however, the major changes may have to come through therapy, but for those for whom a relatively simple lifestyle change will bring improvement, this book appears to be the ticket.



2. Well written. A great how-to for beginners. Finally a self-help book that tells the reader "how" to do something rather than a diatribe of how wonderful the author is and why the information is important. Workbook is easy to follow. I'm very happy with it.



3. This book is wonderful for teaching people how to relax and cope with stress. It has practical exercises for learning the different techniques.
   Workbook covers such topics as: body awareness, breathing, progressive relaxation, meditation, visualization, autogenics, self-hypnosis, refuting irrational ideas, thought stopping, worry control, goal and time
   managment, assertiveness training, job stress management, nutrition, exercise and how to stay on track with a stress management program. I've had therapists tell me they use this book all the time in their practice. I'm currently using it as a guide for people in my Wellness Recovery Program. The exercises are easy to teach and practical to use.



4. This book has the basic techniques on reducing stress, anxiety, fears, OCD to some extent, negative thinking, among other stress inducers. There is also a chapter on assertiveness training. The instructions are easy to follow. A really great book.



5. This book has lots of good ideas for dealing with stress. I have been able to find some that work well for me so I recommend this text.

5 comments about The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully.

1. When "The Gift of Years" by Joan Chittister made its way to my mailbox for me to review, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Was I really the right person to be reviewing this? After all, I am in my thirties, transitioning from youth to middle age. I'm not quite ready for senior citizen status yet. As it turned out, "The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully" is a wonderful lesson in how to live, regardless of our chronological age.
   
   Chittister, a Benedictine sister, is 70 years old. She suggests that she may actually be too young to write this book because life still has lessons left to offer. She "reserves the right to revise this edition when she is ninety." Chittister views how we life at any age to be a choice. We are each given the gift of today. It is up to us what we do with it. She counters the idea that old age need be a time of isolation and loneliness and uselessness. Rather, it can be a time of great connectedness and joy and purpose. It is a time for looking back, not with the pain of regret for opportunities lost, but with understanding of how the life that has been lived has meaning for who we are right now and what our future holds.
   
   Chittister maintains that senior citizens have so much to offer to the world at large. Their wisdom and their stories and their experience are a great gift. They also have the time to get involved. Without the pressures of a 9-to-5 job or raising a family, they can volunteer more, make more of a difference. They have the chance to do all the things that they always wanted to do that there was never time for before. "Age does not forgive us our responsibility to give the world back to God a bit better than it was because we were here."
   
   Of course, there are special challenges that come with the transition to later adulthood and Chittister does acknowledge that fact. It can be difficult to be older in a world that so values youth. It can be hard to reclaim a sense of self with everything that defined that self is now gone. It can be a struggle to cope with physical ailments and disabilities. As Chittister states, however, "there is no such thing as not coping. . . The only issue is whether we will choose to cope well or poorly." We do have a choice. We can adjust our way of thinking and our way of being or we can give up.
   
   Mostly, though, being older brings freedom. "We are free now to choose the way we live in the world, the way we relate to the world around us, the attitudes we take to life, the meaning we get out of it, the gifts we put into it. And all of them can change." "The Gift of Years" is a gift in itself. It provides the opportunity to reflect on what it means to grow older and provides hope for a time of life that holds great promise.



2. As in all her previous works, Joan Chittister has done a wonderful job on addressing a very important issue in all of our lives, growing older, with grace and dignity. The book's format lends itself to reading about and then processing so many different aspects of growing older one chapter/topic at a time.



3. This is a wise and wonderful book. A friend wanted to borrow it when I was finished and I was reluctant to let it out of my hands. I was so glad when another friend gave it to her as a birthday gift. Everyone over 50 should have this one in their permanent collection. I know I will return to it now and then, to drink at the well.



4. Joan Chittister has done all of us a wonderful service in writing this book. Since the population has grayed in the last few years, her suggestions about how to bridge the gap in our lives is extraordinary. Thank you Joan for a wonderful work.



5. I'm impressed to learn that this book was written by a 70-year-old Benedictine nun, which gives Gift of Years both strengths and limitations.
   
   The book reads like a series of sermonettes. We get the "what" but not the "how." And I think the author assumes her audience shares her values and opportunities.
   
   She seems to have a solid grip on the spiritual dynamics of growing old. But she writes about areas where her lack of experience seems obvious: dealing with health issues (especially the health care system), finding meaningful work after retirement, and making friends when you don't have time or opportunity to develop a shared history.
   
   Not everyone finds meaning in helping others. Some people are better suited to working and donating to charities rather than taking a hands-on role in the charities. Some people want to relax and be door-greeters at Wal-Mart or (as she suggests) teachers' aides at a local school (not an easy job to get). But a lot of people will find those roles meaninngless, degrading and more stressful than the high-powered jobs they're denied.
   
   A good book if you've got strong spiritual values, a solid support system, most of your health and financial sufficiency. If you're 80 years old and still running marathons between visits to the grandchildren, you'd probably love this book.

5 comments about The Road Less Traveled, 25th Anniversary Edition : A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth.

1. I read this book years ago,it is a wonderful book to read over and over. I have recommended this book to all and I mean all of my friends, that is why I purchased it this time, for a dear friend. I love all of Dr Peck's books.



2. I remember receiving this book as a gift from an aunt of mine a number of years ago and reading it more out of an attempt to show appreciation to her than out of interest. Well, was I pleasantly surprised! Remembering this, I recently decided to read it again. M. Scott Pecks' Road Less Travelled is filled with deep, penetrating and original insights that most people at some level would concur are true. This is a book about spiritual growth, and specifically the author's view of how this can be achieved, and upon completion of it one cannot help but feel that he has succeeded to a large extent in illuminating the path towards such a noble, but difficult, objective. Many readers, after having completed this book, will feel that there is in fact meaning and purpose to life, and that is why this book can be a life-changer. That been said, however, do be prepared for some interesting surprises as you continue through it!
   
   Being about psychotherapy and how this is actually a route to spiritual growth (as Peck states, psychological maturity is synonymous with spiritual growth), one of these surprises was to find Scott-Peck become quite mystical and philosophical in his writing the further you read, but in a way that makes sense and is quite convincing. In addition, many people would think that a book dealing with spiritual growth would be related to Christianity and its concept of God, while in actual fact the book encompasses much more than this. Indeed, it struck me, once I started reading the parts on Growth and Grace that the author has tried to put into modern words and concepts many of the things which the mystics and great seers of the past taught and believed. This was confirmed when in the chapter on the Welcoming of Grace, near the end of the book, we read: "One way or another these concepts have been set forth before - by Buddha, by Christ, by Lao-tse, among many others. The originality of this book results from the fact that I have arrived at their same meaning through the particular individual byways of my twentieth-century life." Some readers, especially the more scientific-minded, may be put off by the fact that the book becomes mystical and philosophical the more we progress through it. Such readers should however stay the course as this is an excellent book which anyone can benefit from, especially since it also deals with psychology and how one can improve their life. There is much wisdom in this book. I myself am very interested in science and quite well read on the latest scientific developments yet I did not find the author's statements about things like the unconscious mind being God, or serendipitous experiences, a turn -off. I think one day we are going to find that there is far more to this existence than the mundane "blind, pitiless indifference" and accidental universe taught and believed by many leading scientists who are adherents to scientific materialism. But that is only my opinion. Most people would concur that there certainly are experiences and events which cannot be explained by science, which itself is far too preoccupied with objective, measurable phenomena than the equally real subjective and un-measurable phenomena.
   
   One of the insights provided in the book is the author's definition of love, which will be very different to what most people think love is. Real love is effort! Romantic feelings do (almost) always fade away! Love is not a feeling! To be truly loving is to make an effort for the benefit of another individual even when one does not feel like it or when it offers no direct reward to oneself. Nobody likes to make an effort because it drains your energy, but when you do so i.e. extend yourself for the benefit of another, then in many ways you are being truly loving. A typical example would be marriage. To make a marriage work when the romantic feelings of grandeur and excitement have passed requires effort, work and courage - i.e. the will to extend oneself for the benefit of another's spiritual growth. It was especially humorous to note the author's notion that romantic love, with its feelings of omnipotence and ecstasy (which is what a young baby feels when in its mother's arms - but which in the years ahead will have to grow up and break away and look after itself), is in reality a trap designed by evolution to snare people to mate in order to ensure the propagation of the species because the feelings always pass sooner or later and consequently most couples get married in total bliss unaware of what lies ahead. If most people really knew what marriage was all about and what lay ahead later on and how much work is involved in letting a marriage work, they would tremble at the mere thought of marriage vows and would not get married! At least, in the author's opinion.
   
   So what is the road to spiritual growth that the author lays out for his readers, and the underlying message of this book? We have lost our spirituality and sense of purpose and meaning in life because we believe in the mechanical nature of the universe, not in miracles. Science tells us that not only are we lost and insignificant amid the enormity of the universe, but that we are also helplessly determined by internal forces not subject to our will - by chemicals within our brain and conflicts in our unconscious that compel us to feel and to behave in certain ways when we are not even aware of what we are doing. Because of this we suffer a sense of personal meaninglessness. But once we perceive the reality of grace, our understanding of ourselves as meaningless and insignificant is shattered. The fact that there exists beyond ourselves and our conscious will grace, being a powerful force that nurtures our growth and evolution, is enough to change our notions of insignificance forever, because once we perceive it, it indicates with certainty that our human spiritual growth is of the utmost importance to something greater than ourselves, namely God, and that God's will is devoted to the growth of the individual human spirit. The reality of grace indicates humanity to be at the centre of the universe. The author further asserts that we are born that we might become, as a conscious individual, a new life form of God, and also that the interface between God and man is at least in part the interface between our unconscious and our conscious minds. Our unconscious is God within us (like the Holy Spirit). Spiritual growth is a process of the conscious mind coming into synchrony with the unconscious. The collective unconscious is God; the conscious is man as individual; and the personal unconscious is the interface between them. Being this interface, it is inevitable that the personal unconscious (subconscious mind) should be a place of some turmoil, the scene of some struggle between God's will and the will of the individual. Mental illness occurs when the conscious will of the individual deviates substantially from the will of God, which is the individual's own unconscious will. Our conscious self concept almost always diverges from the reality of the person we actually are. The unconscious however knows who we really are, and therefore a an essential task in the process of one's spiritual development is the continuous work of bringing one's conscious self-concept into agreement with reality, because our unconscious is wiser than we are. We live our lives in a real world and to live them well it is necessary that we come to understand the reality of the world as best we can. Many aspects of the reality of the world and of our relationship to the world are painful to us. We can understand them only through effort and suffering. People attempt to avoid this effort and suffering and ignore the painful aspects of reality by blocking and throwing certain unpleasant facts out of their awareness. In other words, we attempt to defend our consciousness, our awareness against reality. If in our laziness and fear of suffering (these two things being the impediments to spiritual growth, caused by lack of discipline and by non-love) we defend our awareness, then it will happen that our understanding of the world and our actions will bear little or no relation to reality, and we will eventually become `out of touch with reality' and be deemed mentally ill. But before this extreme occurs, we are given notice by our unconscious of our increasing maladjustment through a variety of means: bad dreams, anxiety, depression and other symptoms. Although our conscious mind has denied reality, our unconscious, which is omniscient, knows the true score and attempts to help us out by stimulating, through symptom formation, our conscious mind to the awareness that something is wrong. In other words, the painful and unwanted symptoms of mental illness are manifestations of grace. They are the products of `a powerful force originating outside of consciousness which nurtures our spiritual growth.' Psychic phenomena are also clearly related to the operation of the unconscious.
   
   The author further asserts that that are two forces at work on humanity: entropy and evolution (analogous to how these two fundamental laws work in physical science). Laziness is the force of entropy within us, pushing us down and holding us all back from spiritual evolution, because the process of spiritual growth is an effortful and difficult one, due to it being conducted against a natural resistance and natural inclination to keep things the way they were and to cling to the old maps and the old way of dong things ie. to take the easy path. But the miracle is that this resistance is overcome and we do grow. This force that pushes us as individuals and as a species to grow against the natural resistance of our own laziness is love - the will to extend oneself for one's or another's spiritual growth. Therefore love is evolution in progress. The origin of love (which is conscious and is the whole force of evolution) and of grace (which is unconscious) the author states, is a God who loves us and who wants us to grow. "We are growing toward godhood. God is the goal of evolution. It is God who is the source of the evolutionary force and God who is the destination" declares the author.
   
   One minor issue I had with the book is that the author could have included some exercises on how we may develop our unconscious minds and thereby how to manifest synchronous events, because, in his own words, "A major purpose of the section on grace has been to assist those on the purpose of spiritual growth to learn the capacity of serendipity. And let us redefine serendipity not as a gift itself but as a learned capacity to recognise and utilise the gifts of grace which are given to us from beyond the realm of our conscious will. With this capacity, we will find that our journey of spiritual growth is guided by the invisible hand and unimaginable wisdom of God with infinitely greater accuracy than that of which our unaided unconscious will is capable. So guided, the journey becomes ever faster." There are quality books (ie. not new age mumbo-jumbo) on meditation and development of human abilities that teach one how to do this, and perhaps the author could have included some exercises for his readers. But all in all, this is a very interesting book that seems to summarise the great teachings of the past in the language of our modern-day world and which has the potential bring meaning and purpose into the lives of many who need it.



3. I have accidently found this book and read it, This is an extraordinary book with great insight on the Life, conscience growth and Love. If you haven;t read this then you are missing lot of great insight which has been provided in the book. 5 star from my side



4. The Road Less Traveled is a classic that explores personal discipline, love, growth and religion. It is inward looking, insightful, sound and practical in many cases. There are some areas that are controversial, and this can detract from the material a little. But, each person must choose his or her own path...as the book points out.
   
   Scott Peck does an excellent job of presenting this material on self-reflection, analysis and addressing personal growth in a positive manner. Although the book was released three decades ago, it remains useful today.
   
   The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking



5. excellent self help book. a must read for everyone. You will be happy and successful in life if you follow the principles of this book.

5 comments about Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

1. The book is easy to read and understand. It is very informative. Its
   a contemporary overview of human behavor.



2. The left hemisphere of the brain is used for logical, analytical, rational, and objective reasoning. The right hemisphere is used for intuitive, subjective and holistic thinking. Using only one side of the brain is denying oneself of the full power of the decision making process.
   
   Most people are fully capable of using both parts of their brains to make sound, rational and logical decisions that they feel good about. The left brain, right brain crossover is worth developing.
   
   People who use only use their left brain and work with facts, data and logic without feelings to make decisions are missing the richness of using their emotions. These individuals deny their feelings because they believe that facts, data, and logic always produce better decisions than feelings and emotions.
   
   Feelings are an integral part of the human condition. Accepting and embracing them during decision making ensures that you will feel good about your decision--now, and later.
   
   On the flip side, those who only "feel" their answers miss the importance of backing up those feelings with information and common sense. Learning the facts and data frequently saves a great deal of money, time, and heartache.
   
   It can be scary to learn the facts and data for someone accustomed to basing decisions on feelings. However, moving out of one's comfort zone and using the left side of the brain ensures balanced and sound decisions.
   
   Daniel Goleman's book does an excellent job of teaching Emotional Intelligence and how to tap into self-awareness, self-discipline and empathy. This leads to happier, healthier and are more successful personally and professionally. This is one of the most important keys to unlocking our potential as humans!
   The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking



3. I have read many of Goleman's books on EQ. Each holds some gems inside lots of fluff. Goleman's premise is emotional competencies (listening, empathy, etc.) form a separate category of intelligence. I can agree with that. Unfortunately, this has become a business franchise for him, so I think he takes it too far. He asserts it is THE defining intelligence of star performers. The thesis is easy to swallow at first, as the book is written in the standard business best-seller sensational journalist format.
   
   I would counter with the work of Marcus Buckingham which maintains that each of us has our individual strengths and weakness. When we work to our strengths, we excel. Goleman is trying to fit all the characteristics of star performers into an emotional intelligence frame work. I know plenty of respected star performers whom lack high EQ. The business bookshelfs are full of other counter examples as well.
   
   I would recommend reading Primal Leadership by Goleman over this book. In it Goleman discusses the types of leadership problems I have seen at work over, and over again. In some cases, I have committed them myself. With Primal Leadership you get some EQ self-help.



4. This book gets 4-5 stars for content, but 1-2 stars for readability, so an average of a 3.
   
   Books written by academics who are more interested in impressing their peers than communicating clearly really annoy me. So what would otherwise be a fascinating, engaging topic becomes unnecessarily boring. (But not the worst I've ever read).
   
   So, if you have a low tolerance for complex, unreadable, boring, run-on sentences, a better alternative is his other book, Primal Leadership. With the benefit of two co-authors, it's much tighter and more readable. However, because Primal Leadership is focused on adults, it doesn't include many of the discussions of children and developmental learning -- which was valuable -- but only if you can get through it.
   
   Hopefully he'll come out with a second edition, with the help of a professional writer. Since I'd love to be able to give it 5 stars.



5. Goleman has achieved much deserved notoriety for this ground-breaking and thought provoking effort. Ground-breaking because he opens up your mind to thoughts and self-examination that when considered should improve understanding of self, family, work-place, and social relationships. He connects this with enough science to satisfy the skeptical. Finally, the double-edge of emotional and behavioral understanding applies to ourselves as much as to our contemporaries. Read more than once!

5 comments about Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.

1. Speaking Peace: Connecting With Others Through Non-Violent Communication
   After years of reading spiritual self-help and self-awareness books and attending numerous trainings (all of which I found beneficial, to some degree) Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshal Rosenberg, brings me full circle. The tools and beliefs that served for well for my first 32 years of being me were no longer effective; they were not bad or wrong; they just no longer served. The other books and trainings were great and informative, but with the 4-Step NVC model I was able to realize results from day one.
   
   The book is a quick read in an easy to understand format. There is no "nu-nu, na-na" terms or phrases that tend to turn off or alienate the spiritual initiate or layman. The 4-step model is easy to understand both in terms of everyday use and in underlying logic of why and how it works. One is able to put the process into use from day one; indeed from page one. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life is not the thickest book in my personal library (248 pages) but it is definitely the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communications, bar none.



2. I received this book for free at a communication studies conference, and didn't think much of it. Then I started reading it.
   
   The book is meant to be a handbook for carring on day to day communication with people in your life in a nonviolent way, which is defined as not passing judgment, making accusations, etc.
   
   The downside? The formula the book describes can seem a bit cheesy and mechanical at first. The scripts suggested are fairly specific and involve some langauge that will strike many as sort of garden-variety touchy-feely stuff ("When you say that, what I hear you saying is that . . .").
   
   But the underlying ideas about the importance of empathy, the unproductive nature of approaching communication (even argument) as adversarial, and the basic human decency that lies beneath the concepts are more important and can't be trivialized by what might seem like hokey language.
   
   Thorough-going cynics will not enjoy the book, but others will find some new ideas (and reminders of some basic common sense) that are useful.
   
   BTW, thre are a number of books that make some similar points, but do so using a martial arts analogy (which might seem odd, but is actually in keeping with the "nonviolent" ethos of this book). You might look at "Aikido for Everyday Life" and/or "Verbal Judo," particularly if "Nonviolent Communication" sounds like it's just a bit too, well, wussy for you.



3. I loved this book! I found the tecniques easy to grasp and easy to implement. Using nonviolent communication has already helped me with family, friends, at work, and even with myself. Communication is so important for successful relationships. I found this book to be most helpful!



4. The entire premise of the book is about playing nice in the sandbox. It is unfortunate that we as human beings seem to forget that simple rule that we learned when we were very young...but we do.
   
   Marshall Rosenberg explains in the introduction that he has two questions that have motivated him to find the answers to: He asks: "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?"
   
   These questions are truly profound and Rosenberg does an exceptional job of answering both of them in his book.
   
   Rosenberg notes that the first component of Nonviolent Communication is to observe without evaluating. In other words, apply empathy when communicating. This is easier said than done and takes time, patience and a willingness to change ones behavior. There will be mistakes along the way, but change does come with the right attitude.
   
   The second component is to express our feelings. It encourages conscious responses bases on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling and wanting rather than being habitual and auto responding without thinking. In other words, Rosenberg recommends critically thinking through what to say before saying it. Words are weapons and they need to be handled skillfully or they will be harmful!
   
   There are many insightful comments throughout the book. For example, Rosenberg says: "It is the rare human being who can maintain focus on our needs when we are expressing them through images of their wrongness."
   
   This book and other excellent books on communication help us understand each others needs better. With a little shift in our thinking we can be better communicators!
   
   The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking



5. Literally, anyone who speaks could benefit from reading this book! It helps us to realize not only the power of words but how to choose them better and ultimately enhance both communication and relationships! Highly recommended! :)

5 comments about The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

1. The title may put people off, but the content of this audiobook/book is excellent and will help couples greatly. I enjoy the audiobook as I can listen in the car and I've listened twice now to the book. It's very informative and practical advice for improving lives. Highly recommended.



2. I truly enjoyed and got a lot out of Dr. Laura's Proper Care And Feeding Of Marriage, however The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands is a bit insulting to women. I've actually been the wife who's husband had an affair and I can honestly say, I didn't drive him to it.... What are you thinking Dr. Laura?



3. I love this book and bought it for a good friend of mine who is getting married soon. It is one of the best books that can help a woman understand her husband or men in general.



4. This is an awesome book that strengthened my marriage. As a result, my husband is even more helpful around the house than he used to be. I highly recommend reading it with an open mind. If you are not willing to give 100% to your marriage after reading this, good luck keeping your marriage alive & healthy.



5. I give this book (along with a similar book by another author targeted to men) to young engaged couples (and recommend it widely to others).
   
   A lot of the men read her book. They rave about how well she gets it. She says "men are simple creatures". The men agree (we are simple creatures, truley we are). She explains how to interact successfully with men. The men say she has it exactly right.

5 comments about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex.

1. 
   This is among the best books that I have read on building loving male-female relationships. I gained valuable insights about men and women and this helped me to understand my moods and actions and those of my wife. I could clearly see myself being vividly described by the author. I can plainly make out where I need to change to become an understanding and caring husband without being as I always tended to be "Mr Fix-It" when my wife talks about problems or issues bothering her.
   
   I now appreciate the value of cherishing my wife to motivate her. I no longer get surprised when I hear women expressing their feelings through various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations. I now know that men and women communicate differently; they love, think, feel and perceive things differently as though they are from different planets. The book provides useful and helpful problem solving techniques that have greatly helped me in my relationships with women.
   
   I would like to thank John Gray for helping me to learn that my differences with my wife are normal and that the difficulties we have often experienced in our relationships have also been experienced by other couples and that these differences, when understood, help to cement strong and lasting relationships.
   
   I, therefore, highly recommend this classic which highlight strategies for reducing tensions in relationships and strengthening love through recognizing differences between men and women.



2. This book is brilliant at best! Gray's philosophies keep you engaged while teaching you the simpler way of understanding your partner AND yourself.
   
   I have learned much about myself as well as the Martian in my life. I didn't feel so alone since many people obviously go through the same experiences.
   
   A compliment to any relationship in life!
   
   Merna Throne
   
   Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!



3. I read this book as a proactive measure to gear up for a permanent full time commitment. I can say that most of the sample phrases inspected in this book have been hurled at me, or hurled by me at one time or another, in relationships I've had long before Mars/Venus was published. If I had known then the info provided in this book, I'd probably be married with the kids going off to college by now.
   
   But let's look at why I think this book will work for you. It's been over fifteen years since this title came out. (I remembered people lampooning and dismissing it when it first hit the market and became a sensation) This book could be seen as part of the movement in the nineties where men became the kinder/gentler men we see all around us today. I'm aware that not everyone wants to be seen as or wants a kindler gentler man. But in the course of men becoming softer in the nineties, women made an accompanying move towards a hardened masculinity in the whole "grrrls rule, boys drool" attitude. As a result, the gender lines between respective behavior have been blurred considerably. Anyone could pick up this book today and see a little of themselves described on both planets.
   
   There are helpful ideograms presented here (men=rubberbands, women=waves, men go into and returning from caves, women descending into and arising from their wells). It's all about cycles and rhythm, and believe it or not, men have their own too. The importance of communication and how and when to say what are tools everyone should have in steering clear of an argument, a major relationship killer. The anatomy of an argument is also analyzed in detail. The book ends with how to ask for support and a useful psychological revelation: when you feel safest and loved, painful memories from the past will surface. It shows you that you may mistakenly attribute those painful feelings to your partner when you shouldn't.
   
   There is also an effective chapter on the subtle linguistics of asking.
   
   There's bound to be many knee-jerk reactions from readers all around. People have continued to oppose this book based on the stereotypes it makes, not on its effectiveness. I for one, am very resistant to self-help books. I have returned advice books for refunds and even hurled some at the wall in disgust.
   
   What's important for me is that books, like movies, music, news, and peer-pressure work collectively to shape who we are and how we behave. Since the publication of this book, its advice and examples have worked itself into the consciousness of how partners (in a certain socio-economic group) behave, express themselves, and interact with each other. I can't count how many times I've heard some of the phrases in this book uttered between friends who are in relationships. Even though many have not read the book, they are utilizing variations of its examples in their every day speech.
   
   With divorce rates ever on the increase, I'm quite certain if you were to walk away with 10% of the information presented in this book, regardless of which gender group you culled the advice from, you would have already disproportionately increase the probability of your relationship succeeding.



4. A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women. The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.
   
   John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds. For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need. The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.
   
   John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings. Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.
   
   Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave). Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.
   
   Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. The shortcomings of this book need addressing. First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.
   
   Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women. In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.
   
   Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity. For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women. This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book without exploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking. What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?
   
   This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.
   
   Overall, an interesting read...but caution is advised!
   
   The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking



5. Only people of compatible personality types can have a great relationship. You won't know what personality type you are unless you invest your money in Socionics by Rod Novichkov. Communication problems start with misunderstandings and misunderstandings are from the way we process information and give out the answers. Only C1 partners (you'll know what that is if you read Socionics) have the right combination of compatibility where when you say "Honey, I want to be left alone for a few minutes because I want to think things over" means just exactly what you meant to say and nothing more and your partners understands it that way.

5 comments about Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45.

1. I'm way too young for this book (got it for my mom), but it actually had great makeup and fashion tips for us both. It also inspired me to dress "young" while I still can! :)



2. Christopher Hopkins book is the best beauty book I've ever read. He talks to women over 45 and inspires you and more importantly teaches you in clear, easy ways how to look younger and to be the best you can be. Christopher breaks down each part of your appearance and shows you how to find your body type, your personality type and then how to make changes that make you look and feel better. He used women from his area for the makeovers and he made them look so much better that if you mixed up the before and after photos, you would have trouble matching many of them.
   I used the book and changed how I wore the clothes I already own to make them work better for me and immediately began getting compliments on my appearance. Makeup has always been confusing for me, but he makes it simple and shows you exactly what to buy and how to apply it. I have followed his advice and now wear foundation for the first time in my life and love it. I think every woman over 45 who is ready to feel new, refreshed, and younger should read this book!



3. From the minute you open this book, you will be so glad you did. It will transform your thinking about yourself, your clothes and makeup. After a few days of using this book, I have gotten rave reviews and everyone seems to notice! This is a must have book. His methods take very little effort- making a few changes in dress and makeup make all the difference.
   Buy it! You will be transformed while remaining you.



4. I have been having so much fun with this book! I especially appreciate the very specific tools he presents here for determining your body type, proportions, and what clothing types are most flattering to you, rather than vague generalities found in many other style/beauty books. Mr. Hopkins' approach is not so much to teach you to hide signs of aging or try to hide your age, but to look your best at your true age, and emphasize your best features, which even those of us who are 45 and over still have, darn it! This is an important distinction, in my opinion, and sets his book apart from others aimed at older women, particularly Ms. Krupp's "How Not To Look Old" , which just comes across as desperate to me. Leg makeup and botox? No thanks!
   
   Since I bought this book, I've purged my cosmetics drawer and my closet, gotten professional advice on a new skin care regimen and makeup application, and am looking for a new hair stylist.
   
   I do agree with another poster who said that tailoring some of the fashion advice to specific body types would be helpful if there are future editions/updates. Overall, there is no other beauty/style book out there like this one, and I heartily recommend it.



5. I really enjoyed reading this book. It was interesting, witty, and well written. I enjoyed it very much even though it did contain much information I had read before in other sources, and it was aimed toward women of middle age, and I am way-way-way past middle age. Another plus--the book arrived promptly.