5 comments about What You Can Change . . . and What You Can't*: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement.

1. I don't understand how this book received so many good reviews, unless the author has a lot of friends who shop at Amazon.
   
   I'll keep this short. If you're looking for help, you won't find it here. If you like outdated rhetoric, this is the book for you. For example, the author explains that one of the four cures "that work" for depression is electro-shock therapy. The last time I heard of someone actually receiving electro-shock therapy was forty years ago.
   
   In another section, the author spends several pages explaining that depression is more prevalent now than it was fifty years ago. Is there anyone on earth who doesn't know that?
   
   In short, please don't waste your money on this drivel! There's nothing new here, the author can't write a readable sentence, and the print is small and dark and smudgy. A difficult and useless read.



2. The self-improvement industry spends billions to convince people that their psychological and physical problems are fixable. The magazine covers at the checkout counter extol the latest miracle diet, but most of the people in line with you are overweight. Seasoned mental-health professional and former president of the American Psychological Association, Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., has bad news for the seriously overweight: Diets don't work. Plus, he tells alcoholics and people with deep-seated emotional afflictions, there are no definitive cures for them. He notes, however, that a large minority of alcoholics do recover, though no approach is guaranteed. Seligman, whose views have generated both gratitude and controversy, details which psychological problems are treatable and which are not. His candid attitude is laudable and his advice seems well-informed, if perhaps generalized. If you've gotten thin, you've beaten the odds. Meanwhile, he recommends that people learn to live bravely with daunting emotional issues they cannot completely master - because, he says, mastery probably isn't possible. getAbstract finds this treatise about what is and isn't fixable both sobering and valuable.



3. First off, this book is very good.
   Martin Seligman, ever the excellent research psychologist provides an overview over the big mental diseases and disorders. From everyday anxiety to panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder to sexual disorders, overweight and alcoholism Seligman has reviewed the literature and provides concise advice on what works for each condition and what does not. In between he mentions VERY interesting research results and historic developments in the treatment of psychological ills. These newest findings have changed his opinions as well. While in his 1993 Bestseller "Learned Optimism" he still supported the more behaviorist approaches of f.e. pessimism - the primary risk factor for later-life depression - being conditioned through "bad role modeling" by parent's dealing with adverse events (which could be UNLEARNED), he now, due to identical-twin studies, attributes virtually all mental disorders to heritability.
   In a fascinating account on pages 39ff. ("Your genes and your personality") a picture of the human being as an essentially inflexible biological machine emerges, whose innate mental tendencies towards for instance anger, anxiety or depression can be at most mitigated by therapy and medication, but never cured.
   Albeit I - as I'm sure he'd want to - stress that heritability in all twin-studies accounted for at most 50% probability that the personality trait of a parent would be present in the child. Incredible for example is the genetic link for criminal behavior in children and biological parents vs. adoptive parents.
   
   But I have two points of criticism:
   What I find very likeable about Seligman is that, as he pointed out in "Learned optimism" as well as this book, he is really a innate pessimist.
   As such, I think he, like another reviewer here, paints a too bleak of a picture of the treament efficacies.
   For starters I seriously question his claim that depression treatment works only in 2/3 of patients. I'd really guess it's more like ¾.
   Second of all, he thinks it's a real disappointment, that drugs and therapy don't cure.
   
   Why did anybody ever think you could DISCONTINUE mental treatments after time.
   Why do people pray for divine help 5 times every day and incessantly go to church on Sundays.
   Obviously mental issues are deeply engrained into the brain physiology. These disorders are not outside invaders that could be cast out by drugs or therapy. They are construction flaws in one's mind that must be steadily contained through long-term treatment as long as there is no such thing as "psycho-surgery".
   
   Also i got the impression except for alcoholism and overweight he unduly plays down the improvements on many of the treatments. Be it OCD, depression, everyday anxiety or especially PTSD, whose improvements he describes as "marginal" these "marginal" improvements can mean the difference between suicide and a bearable, even content existence in many people. But of course he is right to point out, that whatever of these conditions you have, they're never gonna go completely away, and relapses are common. "But you can still manage", I would add to that.
   
   Bottom line is, if you got any of the above disorders this is a good book. If you want more of as the title suggests a "successful guide to self-improvement" go with "Three-minute therapy" by Michael Edelstein. He covers also less pathological issues like money problems, dealing with overeating and smoking, depression, anger, panic, (social) anxieties, chronic worrying and even procrastination. Very good self-help book.
   Seligman's is more like a reference book.



4. Martin Seligman first came to notice for his introduction of the concept of learned helplessness, which has given birth to the practice of cognitive therapy. Here he addresses psychological problems ranging from unipolar and bipolar depression to phobias and evaluates the merits of several types of treatment for each.
   
   One might expect him always to recommend cognitive therapy for each problem, but he does not. He is consistently objective and humble. Moreover, his prose is clear, concise, and frequently witty, and this book his stimulated me to a great deal of additional thought, both about the things with which I immediately agreed and some things about which I disagree somewhat.



5. Unlike other so-called "self-help" books, What You Can Change and What You Can't* surfaces the root of a range of discussed problems ranging from obsessions & compulsions to alcoholism. What makes this book different and thus invaluable as a "self-improvement" book is the inherent honesty, brought about by scientific scrutiny and the author's intention to provide professional, complete and unbiased assessments on what one can change, and what one cannot.
   
   Whilst numerous other books of this category attempts to instil optimism but does nothing more than skim the surface, this book provides clear scientific details to each condition/disease discussed along with the corresponding treatments available, and how well each works.
   
   Unbiased and very specific, the author is very clear on what to conclude on and mark as definitive and what remains unclear based on the most recent studies available, and the data they yield. When the author exerts a professional opinion, he articulates the reason behind it and provides clear data to support it, which comes across as responsible and confident.
   
   For a category of reading so saturated with ideas that do not much more than skim the surface, I see What You Can Change and What You Can't* as a rare breed that gets to the core of the problem, and hence makes it truly useful in facilitating change and accepting what cannot, yet, be changed.

5 comments about Simpleology: The Simple Science of Getting What You Want.

1. Mark Joyner is not only a brilliant businessman, his masterful book reveals that he is a brain surgeon as well-capable of dissecting the thought patterns and belief systems inside your mind that prevent success, and offering a blueprint to overcome them so that you can achieve anything you desire. This book has the power to change your life if you have the courage to take the first step of reading it.



2. An interesting read, though the title is slightly misleading - if you're looking for a self-help book, this is not it, search for Napoleon Hill, or Brian Tracey, etc., instead. On the other hand, Mark Joyner does cover some very interesting topics in the context of 'invisible walls': language, self-serving reality, positioning, authority, and much more. Primarily a synthesis of many psychological studies, 'Simpleology' serves as a good and a thought provoking overview.



3. As it goes I am often thought of as a conservative. This is one of those books where I keep one in my library and one to give away. The loaner goes mostly to conservative friends. I loan a book to these folks so that there mind can be open to another point of view.
   
   This books makes you laugh a lot. His reference to Bill O'Reilly as Pill O'Smilley is priceless. Indeed Mark Joyner is a genius and one of the great thinkers of our time. This work is like books from another Mark, Mark Twain. The pages have the power of one of the banned books of Twain:
   "Letters from the Earth".
   
   I am a Funeral Director and I approve this book. The title is true to the work, "The Simple Science of getting what you want".
   Being a Funeral Director I believe all of us should get what we want before we rest in peace. So go get what you want and this book before your time runs out.



4. I was not at all impressed with the book. he babled on and on and did not make any real points. I did not care for his writing style or the content. I don't have anything good to say, so I will cut it short and not say anymore.



5. If you are searching for a self help book that will really help you, then you have found it. Simple*ology shows you "simply" what does and does not work on the path of getting what you want out of life. It is a quick easy read and is straight forward science no pep rally hear just the facts on how life works.
   First you will learn why your limiting beliefs have you stuck where you are. Then you will learn how outside influences manipulate you and keep you in your current circumstances. Then the author shows how logic can be used to defend your mind against beliefs that do not benefit you.
   At the end of the book the laws for getting you to where you want to be are revealed.
   1. Choose the shortest path to get to where you want to be.
   2. You must clearly see the target you are aiming for.
   3. You must focus sufficient attention on your target until you hit it.
   4. You must focus sufficient energy on it until you have accomplished your goal.
   5. Action and reaction are two things that you can never escape.
   Here are the laws that lead to success in the real world. I have seen this to be true in my life. Simple and effective.

5 comments about Now, Discover Your Strengths.

1. The book is very interesting and very effective. The internet test is very accurate. Nevertheless each strength profile should be discussed more in depth. Let's say you get an idea of who you are but you would like to get more of it. Anyway, the price is worth the stuff you find in the book!



2. Nice concept that could have been handled with a 10 page paper. Clearly authors had to have some volume to prove value so they drone on and on and on. Very tedious reading. Then at every turn they continue to try to sell other products or services. The major killer is having an online exam to evalute your strengths; however, the code is only good once - so DON'T buy a used book as your code will be invalid. If the exam is a work related exercise, you'll be forced to buy a new book just for the code. Also, DON'T let your spouse read the book. If you do, they'll want to take the exam and suprise suprise, you would need another new book just to take the test.



3. [As a corporate human resources director, I often work on developing the latent talents and skills of various managers. Years ago, I taught a class where I had each participant to look into a hand-held mirror and ask the question, "Would you want to work for this person?"
   
   This book takes this exercise to a completely different level. To discover your own inner strengths (and weakness) ensures that you will become the very best manager possible. As a fan of First, Break All the Rules, I was very satisfied that this follow-up was as timely and useful as the first book. I highly recommend you purchase a copy of this book for yourself and for all of your managers. Michael L. Gooch, SPHR Author of
   [ASIN:1897326882 Wingtips with Spurs]]



4. I think the subject of the book is good, however a big part of dicovering your strengths is taking the on line strength finder quiz. Unfortunatley for me the code provided on the inside of the jacket is either invalid or has been used by someone already.
   So as I read this book I will be left to wonder "what are my strengths..."



5. Probably the best management and personnel development tool around! Four staff members were each given a copy to read and to follow the instructions for getting an analysis. Each was asked to bring the analysis for their annual job review. They expected the typical "this is good and that is bad" comments but found that when they reviewed their positive traits they were asked "how can you apply that in your job?" Ar real morale and performance builder.

5 comments about The Relationship Rescue Workbook.

1. As long as you have the Relationship Rescue book. He guides you through exercises in the book which makes this a redundant purchase. The book is superlative, and I am sure the workbook will be helpful for some, but don't feel it mandatory. It's more an accessory.



2. Did not work for a relationship of marriage with a 1 time affair involved. Book was good to start a fire with though. + Make Dr. Phil rich. I recomend "David DeAngelo" instead. Hes much better program.



3. Its unfortunate that people buy a book to expect IT to fix the problems they have allowed to get out of hand or self create out of ignoring their spouse/partner. If you want a book to give you ideas, plans and a way to help YOU succeed in taking the positive steps to fixing or creating a better relationship then this IS the book to do it, but again- people tend to have problems with honesty even in a private questionaire and unless you can be honest with youself it wont work, not to mention your just prolonging and continuing the sugar coating, problems dont go away and it isnt fair to your spouse either, you need to give them 100%.
   
   A book isnt going to magically fix anything unless your willing to apply and make changes..
   
   But here is some advise that is free- if you dont want a divorce keep your pants zipped and or your skirt down. Dont lie, be faithful and respectful-COMMUNICATE- we are not mind readers-yet. Do not make excuses for those "late work all nighters" and certainly let your partner know you appreciate them. SEX is like Air--- your not gonna miss until your not getting it, so if you/your partner isnt getting it at home--- they/you are getting it somewhere else. DO NOT confide intimate information or whine to the opposite sex about your partner, its precurser to an affair.
   
   BUY the book and read it, listen to the words-- but lets face it-- once the trust is gone its gone.. You need to earn it back, or they need to be willing to trust you. If you are not happy then make changes dont compund it by being selfish.



4. As always, Dr. Phil has insight that makes perfect sense but the rest of us just don't get quite so easily! He tells you like it is and expects you to do nothing more than be honest with yourself. He has excellent exercises to do that require some soul searching at times, and his advice is thought provoking and effective! I highly recommend this book if you are having relationship issues, and neither of you wants to end it, but neither of you knows how to fix it either. It really helps if you both do it together but one person could get a lot of advice and direction to go too. Also recommend you get the workbook that goes with this book...makes it much easier than a bunch of notebooks everywhere with the exercises he has you do throughout.
   I don't think you will regret this purchase. Dr. Phil ROCKS!



5. This is a great asset to people that want an in depth look at their relationship.

5 comments about Success Is Not an Accident: Change Your Choices; Change Your Life.

1. The book is fantastic!!! It has already affected my life in a very positive way. I'm sharing and teaching concepts from the book such as "If you want to lead an extraordinary life, find out what the ordinary do--and don't do it." Associating with people that will bring me closer to my goals and dreams and disassociating myself from those who don't bring me closer to my goals and dreams. People around me are noticing a difference in me and some are even curious as to why. The book brings to light the reality of where you are in your progression of reaching your goals and where you need to be and what action you need to take in achieving your goals. It gives you worksheets and assignments to perform, as a measurement to how you are achieving and moving forward and accomplishing your goals. Sincerely, Shelly H. Mann



2. Richard Tucker, (Colorado Springs, CO)
   
   Success is Not an Accident helps you set and maintain your goals to achievement!
   I have read it twice, this book has helped my wife, and I improve our marriage and our goals. Success is well written to help you succeed.
   The book you need to read to plan, maintain and succeed in your life's goals as well as your business. Tommy Newberry has the correct recipe for winning! Five STARS on this book!



3. One of the best goal setting / life planning books out there. There's a ton of good ideas in this book.



4. Got this book for my grandson. Ending up purchasing several more due to the clear details of a plan for personal success. I like the format, the critical thinking and need of behavior changes. However, no matter what, it still depends on the individual reading the book to implement the changes in their lives. Good read for those seriously wanting to change the direction of their lives and find some joy. Good book for group study.



5. Although presented in an appealing manner, this book offers nothing new in the realm of personal achievement that countless books have not already covered. Newberry expounds all the common fundamentals including goals, vision, habits, and other assorted attributes universal to achievement.
   
   Newbery does a sensible job outlining rudimentary elements and at times even offers a refreshing manner of explanation; thus if this was only book you were to ever read on personal achievement it would be sufficient. However, due to the myriad of books that came long before Newberry's that covered the same content and more, this book offers little more than an intelligent paraphrasing of common themes as oppose to anything new and profound.

5 comments about Stress Management for Dummies.

1. It seems we're not at all reluctant to admit how little we know as there are now over 50 million "Dummies" books in print. And, thank goodness for many of them, as my "WordPerfect for Dummies" has often saved me.

   Now, we can learn to be tension free with "stress-busting advice and exercises."

   Read by the author, a clinical psychologist, in his most affirming and encouraging voice, he promises that we can combat stress with diet and exercise and even diminish our anger and worry.




2. I was feeling stressed out so I saw a psychiatrist (with my insurance a psychologist is not reimbursed). The only thing he could propose me was a few sessions of relaxation (I won't call it hypnosis). It helped me relax, but as soon as I left his office back into the stressful world I realized that it didn't really help me. So I ordered this book. My coworkers made fun of me but I don't care, they're all stressed out right now and I'm not. One of my coworkers even told me that I'm not showing that I'm committed. I guess people think you're really committed to your project when you stress out over all the things overwhich you have absolutely no control.
   
   This book is great. He covers all the major areas of stress management and gives plenty of concrete ideas for reducing stress. The book is very practical, meaning you can practice it and improve your health. I read it about 6 months ago and I think I'm going to go back and read it again. If you're feeling stressed out I highly recommend this book.



3. I'm still reading this one, but so far I love it! It's got humor and helpful info, so I can de-stress while I'm reading about how to further de-stress. This may sound sad, but I think this has got to be one of my favorite books! It seems to have covered every place that stress can derive from and it gives useful and reasonable tips on how to handle it when it comes up or even before. It actually helped me to get through a would've been flaming-arguement with my husband without losing control and yelling at him when I read the section on venting beforehand. He wants to borrow it now. lol The tips in this book are easy enough so that you don't get stressed out even more trying to do them. There's nothing there that I've read so far that tells you that in order to deal with your stress better, you must first go to a field in the countryside over in Japan and be one with the grass and the air and the flowers and the birds. No crap like that. Just humor and help. My job isn't stressful but the trip to and from it here in Atlanta is, so that's where my stress areas begin. I carry this book from home to work with me and then back home and around the house to do more reading. I highly recommend this book!



4. This book is a great resource if you are not very good at stress management. It covers a lot of good ways to deal with stress in your life. It follows the same easy approach to the subject> Just like all For Dummies books along with some humor thrown in for good measure. In my opinion it is a great book for anyone that wants to learn how to deal with stress the right way.



5. I am a youth psychosocial group leader and I was looking for a book that I could use with my middle school and high school students. Even though this book is geared toward adults, much of the information can be useful for older youth, especially those kids who have had to grow up so fast due to their home environment. At the end of every chapter I would create either a jeopardy game or have them play a wheel-of-fortune/hangman type game to review the essential points of each section. The information was also helpful to me in a sense that it's good to remind yourself to practice stress management.

5 comments about Mindfulness Meditation - Cultivating the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind.

1. I always enjoy listening to Dr. Kabat-Zinn. This CD presents a a very good reason to try mindful meditation. Kabat-Zinn has a very pleasing voice with easy concepts to relate to. If you are looking for actual meditations this is not the CD for you, but he definitely gives you a good place to start the practice of meditation with the breath. Highly recommend.



2. I've purchased a few meditation recordings over the years. This one is by far the most helpful. I've used it for myself and in groups. It is excellent.



3. Very good stuff. It reminds all of us how important it is to stay centered and balanced. It's helped me to begin embracing the moments of change in my own life rather than fighting against them.



4. I am new to meditation, but I found this to be very helpful. His voice is very soothing and the information very helpful. I loved it!



5. received everything on time. the cd wasn't as good as i expected but the service was awesome!!! good quality products.

5 comments about He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships.

1. I bought this book about a year ago to help my relationship. Although I did like reading some of the examples because they related to what I was going through all one really needs to read is the appendix at the end. I thought that this was the better part of the book. True the book did not give answers as to why some are the way they are but I think that it did bring up the questions for self-reflection. If you have time take a look.



2. I could not for the life of me figure out what was going on in my ex's head and why our relationship wasn't working out. After reading this book I now realise that I have a passive commitment issue. The book describes several different commitment fears. As I read the book I thought, none of these fears were what I was experiencing, and then they discribed the fear that I had and everything all of a sudden clicked. It was like an a-ha moment. It was a fear that I had since I was very young, but which I have been hiding away. It literally sent chills down my spine when I finally figured out what was going on. I now also understand why I was attracted to certain types of partners. I guess you have to face all your fears that you may have otherwise they are going to come back and bite you later on. This book is a must read for anyone who is strugling to make their relationships work.



3. My girlfriend I have benefited from this book immensely. She is an active avoider and I have been both, while being the passive avoider in this particular relationship. I have bought two copies of this, and another title from the same authors called "Getting To Commitment" and gave one set to her to read while she was away in Emirates for a business trip. She admitted openly that she was pretty disturbed to see herself in the mirror while reading the books, but since then her behaviour started to change dramatically. I am not expecting her to fix herself completely but now she talks about seeing a psychologist/teraphist upon her return, and even wonders what will come out from under the slabs she's been keeping her inner self under.
   
   For those who feel this book falls short in offering fixes towards the diagnosed, I recommend them to buy "Getting To Commitment" for the follow-up.



4. This book was recommended to me by a friend whose relationship it saved. I read it and was amazed at how it resonated. You think you are so unique and then you read sections that are basically word-for-word recaps of conversations you have had with your partner and realize you are textbook after all. Its comforting and discomforting at the same time... I have recommended it to several more friends and each comes back to me with amazement at how right on it is. It is a book that I return to again and again to gain perspective on my actions.
   A favorite example of its wisdom: "Commitment is the promise to participate in a well-intentioned, monogamous, open-ended, responsible, and realistic relationship." Now that doesn't seem so scary, does it?



5. This book provided me with a lot of insights on what the problem is in regards to being a "passive" or a person in denial of commitment. However, it does not do a good job on moving the person from the "recognizing" stage. It described with much detail what happens during the plot as it were a soap opera, which indeed can get into that kind of drama. Yet, telling the reader - go for therapy, something most people don't want to hear or if they are conscious about it, they, most likely have tried before. I will say that the plot, or the middle of the book, is very exciting and intriguing, but the end is too disappointing and hopeless. For those of you looking for a more PROACTIVE look of relationships and to improve their communication skills and feeling more confident look for Keri Newell's interviews and books. She is a relationships coach in Southern California. Best wishes. p.s. There's a reason why this book is sold used for $2.

5 comments about PREPAREDNESS NOW!: An Emergency Survival Guide for Civilians and Their Families.

1. As an M.D. involved in disaster planning, and who lives in a hurricane zone in Florida I have read extensively in the field and this is one of the best survival books I have found. It is not an "arm yourself to the teeth and build a bomb shelter" book. It is a book all Americans should own and read. Practical, sensible advice, and excellent list of quality equipment sources.



2. The information found in this book is very useful, exact, correct and spot on. I can find no flaw in the INFORMATION of this book what-so-ever. I recommend this book to everyone who is interested in the subject matter. That said, there is one fatal flaw. Overt Liberalism from the author (which, I guess for Liberals make this a great book!). From claiming to know something bad (i.e. 9-11) was going to happen to the World Trade Centers and warning all his family and friends to stay away as early as Feb. 01, to commenting on Weapons of Mass destruction--saying something along the lines of "real WMD's, not imaginary ones that weren't found in Iraq" the author proves again and again that he's always right and that everyone else (i.e. the government) is always wrong. But, again, the Author's writing style is my only complaint.



3. While promising, this book has some serious flaws.
   
   In addition to a leftist philisophical and political bent which is out of place among the facts, the urban-focused survival orientation limits the value of the information to non-city dwellers.
   
   Some of the information presented is just factually wrong. For example, his comments about firearms are clearly acquired from someone with limited knowledge of the technical aspects of firearms, and regurgitate a number of misconceptions and urban myths about them. These errors cause me to question the validity of many of his other perspectives, especially when they seem to be politically driven.
   
   There is some good information here, but it must be gleaned from the chaff and outright propogandizing in order to find it. Unfortunately, the reader must already be knowledgable about the subject matter in order to determine preparedness fact from fiction.
   
   The book has merit for those who already posess good survival knowledge, and might make a decent addition to a good preparedness library. A good resource for those living in cities, who will suffer the worst should disaster strike. At the very least, it makes the reader consider personal preparedness planning and take stock of one's degree of readiness.
   
   For a novice who does not live in an urban area, or belong to the Green Party, the book would not be among my top recommendations.



4. Great product. The lists and explinations are a supurb starting point for anyone who wants to be prepared when bad things happen. The author is very careful to emphasize that physical fitness and acquiring certain skills are key to survival; just good common sense. He also provides web sites and resources for items on his list. I've used all of his lists to build my car, home and personal kits. In an all electronic age, we are VERY reliant on electricity...which gets knocked out when grids are overloaded. Well written and easy to read, I would recommend this book to anyone as an initial intro to self-reliance and disaster preparedness. Be prepared!



5. This is more of a recommended shopping list than a long term emergency survival guide. Having said that, it does offer more than a few helpful hints if and when disaster strikes. It could be greatly expanded as it mostly caters to those in urban areas; also no mention is given to what may be used as money if calamity strikes the nation at large, or where to get food and water from etc.. Again this is more geared to 'small' scale events like Katrina, California quakes etc. It is nonetheless a great book to have and I did buy a few things after reading it. 5 stars if expanded to cover complete breakdown of America, did enjoy it a lot though. Check out the website for a few more hints.

5 comments about Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem.

1. John Bradshaw is an outstanding psychologist who has probed deeply into family dynamics, especially dysfunctional families. If you have ever wondered why you have trouble relating to your family "as you should" you may gain insights about your birth family and how you were treated by them. The family of origin's strengths and, more prticularly, their weaknesses will follow from generation to generation unless you gain insight into why you act/react to family members and make the necessary adjustments in your parenting style. John Bradshaw's "Bradshaw On: The Family" will help you see where you may have been damaged as a child. It is must reading for those who know there is "something wrong" but can't put their finger on it.



2. If you've done a lot of work on yourself this is well written. The word frames annoy me but the book gets to the heart of family. Not for the clueless.



3. I was introduced to the Bradshaw Video's which aired on PBS in the 80's while I was in rehab. Not only did it answer a lot of questions for me about my childhood but it was enlightening and an eye opener for me. I bought all of his books and I highly recommend those from dysfunctional backgrounds to read his materials.



4. This book saved my life! It is a must-read for anyone from a dysfunctional family or in an abusive relationship. Bradshaw helps you get to the heart of your hurt, heal it, and move on. He offers understanding of the dynamics at work in abusive situations, and the understanding helps to heal. He has been there, and his analyses make sense, and they let you know you are NOT insane and you are NOT a victim. His insight is empowering and gives us all hope for the future where we might not have had any. I have given several copies to my friends in crisis and truly believe this honest look inside could benefit everyone.



5. I think there are a lot of good ideas in this book that have helped me and could help others, but unfortunately it was painful to get through. Bradshaw uses too much jargon and needlessly creates some of his own hokey jargon. The personal examples are all extreme cases, leaving those of us who had difficult childhoods but not Lifetime Drama-material childhoods wondering if maybe we're making too much of things. I found the lists and summaries at the end of each chapter unhelpful and irritating. Bradshaw is repetitive, and goes off on tangents too easily. I also just don't like his tone, which comes off as a bit arrogant. Given all of that, I am glad that I read this book as it gave me a lot to think about and work on. It also helped me understand that some of what I went through as a child was not normal, and had consequences for my emotional development. As I read this book I wanted to keep reading in case there was more to learn, but I kept thinking, "there must be a better written book on this subject."