5 comments about Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child.

1. Anyone who has read any part of this book would know that it does address the needs of both people in the relationship, whether one - or both - were abused. To say that this book doesn't address the partners of survivors is ridiculous. This book is loaded with insightful information for both survivor and partner to assist in learning and dealing with the abuse. Indeed, parts of this book may not truly relate to your personal situation, but there parts that will, guaranteed.
   Being a good partner means being open and receptive, to even the things we fear the most. While there are parts to this book that open new doors and create new challenges, this book provides great insight in how to face those challenges, and come out ahead. Can a book fix everything? No. But this is great place to start.
   The book is loaded with quotes like: "You will also need to shift your focus from the survivor and the survivor's problems to yourself - your needs, your feelings, your history, and places you can grow." AND "Don't take care of the survivor. That's not your job in life. Take care of yourself."
   Anyone who says this book can't help either didn't read it, or is too narrow-minded to know any better. Read this book. Read it with your partner, and share what your learn together.



2. This book has brought sanity back to an insane process. This book will help you cope and understand what your partner is going through when engaged in a sexual abuse recovery. It brings hope back into what can feel like a helpless situation. It is a must read for those intimately involved in the recovery process.



3. makes false allegations that they were sexually abused based on "recovered memories" as encouraged by Courage to Heal?



4. A must read for anyone dealing with personal abuse or others who have been abused.



5. A very good reference tool and was helpful to me. I've known about my partner's sexual abuse pretty much since we met. This helped me understand aspects of her behavoir; it's not directed at me because it's not about me. That's immensely helpful.

5 comments about The Divorce Organizer & Planner.

1. My husband of 36 years asked for a divorce after informing me of a 3-week affair with a woman 4 years older who'd already had quadruple bypass surgery. Go figure! Shock doesn't come close to describing my state.
   
   However, I was not so shocked that common sense didn't kick in -- two days later I ordered several books on Divorce, including Ms. Sember's: I needed to protect what I could for MY future.
   
   The Divorce Organizer & Planner came in good stead. With tears here and there, I worked those sections that were relevant to me (I didn't need to consider child custody/support issues) and collected documents I would need to go through the divorce process. While I had a consultation with a lawyer to make sure I was collecting the info I'd need (and found out the Workbook was right on target!), I did not retain her right away -- nor did my husband seek legal advice.
   
   4 months after "the news," my husband was killed in a freak accident.
   
   Because I'd "done my homework" with the assistance of the Organizer & Planner, I had all the documents and papers necessary to handle the financial and legal affairs that accompany a death: Birth Certificates, Social Security Cards, and Drivers Licenses for BOTH of us, Marriage Certificate, Life Insurance policies, Financial accounts, Lists of assets and liabilities, etc., etc., etc. I was able to obtain benefits, complete probate, and process life insurance claims forthrightly because all the information was readily at hand.
   
   Ms. Sember's book is really a must have for everyone, those contemplating a divorce or not. I really should make it a point to write her a letter and let her know how very helpful she was at a very difficult time in my life.



2. This is for someone considering divorce and how you get your ducks in a row before hand.



3. This is a great book to help a person get their mind wrapped around the practical aspects of a divorce. In the long run it might save you money on legal fees because you will not have to have your attorney hold your hand and guide you through every process, problem or issue, you will be able to get a lot done on your own. The book forces you to think and plan about all the little frustrating details you would rather not deal with. I would recommend combining this book with other divorce books such as "Hit Him Where it Hurts" by Sherri Donovan and "The Ten Biggest Legal Mistakes Women can Make" by Marilyn Barret. "A Judge's Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench" by Roderic Duncan is extremely helpful and helps you focus on the tough stuff like child custody.



4. This book is written from the perspective of a woman. Why is it that everyone things the woman always gets screwed? When I was told , "I don't want to live with you anymore" and "I want everything you have and will have" I was looking at the end, 29 years of marriage, 9 months from retirement. Well let me tell you, I have been told the game is to squeeze the guy hard to get everything but not hard enough to make him quite. I am looking at all the debt, she is looking for all the assests and I will be paying her $40k/year maintenace until I am 76. Where is a book for a guy to screw his exwife?



5. Another well organized, practical guidebook. Should be bedside reading before you say "I Do." Also a good reminder of the importance of record-keeping even if your life is sane.

5 comments about Where's My Stuff?: The Ultimate Teen Organizing Guide.

1. This spiral bound book is a gift for our grandson. It is perfect for the teen who could use a little help organizing themselves at school as well as at home. I particularly like that is mentions teen on the front of the book so young people feel it is written with them in mind. Lots of good ideas that might click with a teen and ultimately prove to be beneficial without making a big deal of things.



2. I got my 12-year-old son to read this by assigning little parts of it that applied most to him. We talked about what he read, and it seemed to really be opening his eyes and giving him ideas. We were able to get right to what was hindering him, both in attitude and in his physical space. It's a simple book to read, very basic, but full of basic truths and fun ideas that work.



3. I am messy, theres no denying it. My mom is always on my case about my room or the kitchen or the living room and so on. But as a high school student I have so many more IMPORTANT things to do than to spend my time trying to clean up my house, only to have it get messy again. This book had so many good ideas about how to be organized, not only at home, but at school too! Now my mom doesnt yell at me anymore, and I have more time to focus of my life. This book rocks!



4. This book has helped me to the extreme. I used to be the kid that turns up in class with the math homework from last week when the teacher is asking for the essay on stonehenge. Which i forgot about becuase my planner gets washed off my hands every time i took a shower. This book outlines easy and practical strategies that allow you to take control of your backpack. Worth every penny.



5. The moment I put this book down, I wished that I had found it befor emy Senior year. "Where's My Stuff?" contains nearly every little bit of study and and organizational wisdom I've picked up throguh my high-school career, and it would have been helpful going into it with all that knowledge condensed in one book, whick I'm quite glad this book does. The practical, step-by-step instriuctions on how to organize class materials were incredibly helpful, and this book does a great job of preparing you to manage your time and your personla space. With its diagrams, charts, and overall utility, I would recommend "Where's My Stuff?" To anyone entering high-school. I'm definitely keeping it for college.

5 comments about Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life.

1. I just finished reading this thoughtful, well researched and insightful book on the narcissistic personality. I want to thank the author for all of the help she has given me. Recently, I finished going through a rough divorce from a very narcissistic woman. (Of course, narcissists are both male and female). Besides my very competent and savvy attorney and my friends and family, this book really got me through a nightmare. I was married to Deanna (that's the name I'll use) for five years. The marriage was really over in the first year. I kept telling myself that Deanna would change. In the beginning I was mesmerized by Deanna's charm, her bright intellect, her take-charge attitude and success in the world. There was such a powerful chemistry between us, I took a leap of faith and married her. Quite soon, I recognized that everything was about Deanna; she was a completely self-absorbed, perfectionist. When she made a mistake, Deanna blamed it on me. She frequently bawled me out over the slightest issues. I found out that Deanna had been cheating on me for some time with a couple of former boyfriends. When I confronted her, she said I was delusional and should see a therapist. Deanna lied with ease; it seemed like a natural part of her personality. Finally, I recognized that this was not a marriage; it was a charade and I was the one paying the emotional price. I found an excellent attorney and filed for divorce. Although the process was tumultuous, I know this was the right decision. With the support of my family and friends, I am finding an independence and strength I didn't realize I had. Dr. Martinez-Lewi's book helped me to understand the narcissistic personality and provided me with innumerable essential tools for dealing with them in my life. I highly recommend this book, especially if you suspect you are involved with a narcissistic man or woman.



2. It has taken me a long time to realize that my mother is a narcissistic personality. She is charming, bright, and socially gifted. I always wanted to be just like her. She understood how to excel in the world and was very successful in her professional life. I looked up to her, almost worshipped her. Allyson (I'll call her) always got what she wanted. She knew exactly how to manipulate my father. When my sister and I were young, mom insisted that we do everything her way. Allyson has a coldness that I can remember since I was a small child. I would beg her to comfort me when I felt miserable. She had great difficulty expressing any physical or emotional affection toward my sister and me. Allyson has never been able to put herself in my shoes. She is completely unempathic. Fortunately, my dad was a very warm, compassionate human being. Mom let me know that she had all the answers, made no mistakes and that she was constantly disappointed in me. I had some tough times psychologically because of Allyson's distant coldness, her brittle criticism, and lack of affection. As I grew older I recognized that my mother is a narcissistic personality. A friend of mine recommended this insightful and entertaining book about the narcissistic personality, his/her childhood origins, the grandiosity, the rage beneath the perfect public face. The author puts excellent tools for dealing with narcissists in your personal and professional lives in your hands. This book is invaluable, especially if you are dealing with a parent, spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, family member or friend who you think is a narcissist.



3. After a long career in advertising, I decided that helping entrepreneurs to creatively brand their products would be fascinating. I have learned to read people quite well but I have always had difficulty with self-absorbed, "my way or the highway" type of individuals who think they are perfect. Until I read this book I didn't understand what makes narcissists tick and how to handle them.The author is an expert on the subject and uses colorful vignettes from her clinical practice to illustrate the distinct character traits of narcissists. She provides a childhood perspective of these individuals and clearly explains how they feel deep inside. For those of us who must deal with narcissists every day in our work and personal lives, this book is terrific. Dr. Martinez-Lewi hands her readers the tools they need for making encounters with narcissists successful while we maintain our sense of balance and peace of mind.



4. Not what I expected. Was more like an expose of the author's clients. However there was some good information at the end of the book and some passages that were relateable... there would be more I am sure if I lived in Los Angeles.



5. I have always been a trusting person. Some would call me naive. Often this point of view has worked but I have run into a lot of grief at work with a supervisor who is mean and unfair. She constantly criticizes me even when I haven't made a mistake. She walks around like she owns the world. This supervisor constantly talks about herself and is very vain.
   Not too long ago, a friend of mine was talking about this book. I read it and discovered that it describes my boss perfectly. She is a narcissistic personality. Now, I am not surprised about her superior attitude and her cruelty. I have learned a lot and am using many of the suggestions that the author offers for those of us who are dealing with narcissists at work and in our personal lives. Now that I know who I am dealing with and what I can do, I feel much more confident.

5 comments about Rules of the Red Rubber Ball: Find and Sustain Your Life's Work.

1. I have read this book several times...it is engaging, fun and rejuvinating. I have given copies to my sons,my son's friends, friends, family and co-workers.
   
   If you have the opportunity....buy this books, share it, give it as a gift!



2. I loved this book which is cleverly illustrated. It put a big smile on my face! Certainly inspirational in a very light but profound way Kevin Carroll takes us through his journey with the Red Rubber Ball (pages have colorful drawings and excellent design) and how he has found inspiration to shine in his life while making a difference in the world and going for his dreams. With his seven simple rules he has accomplished a lot (along with well-being), Carroll is an athlete, one of the first afro-american NBA's trainers, speaker and has a leadership position at Nike. All because he followed his passion for the Red Rubber Ball... He talks about every day being a chance to look for something unexpected and about making life our playground to have fun in whatever we are passionate about. I say that is a pretty miraculous way to go through life and reminds me of the work of Ariel and Shya Kane. They are catalysts for having a brilliant life regardless of the circumstances, their books Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: A Book About Instantaneous Transformation, How To Create a Magical Relationship and Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment as well as their 3 Principles of Transformation are excellent guides to live a fun fresh life full of opportunities, right here right now no need to wait for the future. If you're interested in having your life be magical and fun, creating opportunities and living to the fullest, I highly recommend checking out both Carroll and the Kanes.



3. I picked this book up in the lobby after one of Mr. Carroll's presentations. After the speech, the Q&A, and speaking with him in person I was thrilled to finally sit down and read through the book. With that kind of inspiration, the text is incredible - you can really feel the emotion behind his words!
   
   Unfortunately, that seems to be lost on anyone not already familiar with Carroll's work. To them, the shortness of the book (particularly in comparison with its price) is a serious negative. Looking back at the book after a year, though, I have to agree. It's short, not much content, and if the deeper meaning behind the book layout and message isn't fresh in your mind it's difficult to pay attention to.
   
   All in all, it's a phenomenal piece of work and a priceless vessel of inspiration. I can't give it a full 5 stars, though, because it isn't quite as exciting the second time around.



4. This book was smaller than I realized, but it is a really cool book with a lot of great illustrations and a unique format!



5. I heard the author Kevin Carroll speak at a conference I was at in July.
   He was so inspiring and after his speech stood and signed copies for the students and teachers who heard him for hrs. We ran out of books for him to sign. I purchased this book to give to a family member as a christmas present.

5 comments about How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies.

1. After learning of this book through the Boulder,CO hospice organization, I have recommended it to three close friends. They all gave it in turn to other family members. Explanations of the grief process reassure the reader that they need not worry if they do not 'grieve' in the same way
   others do. Much wisdom to be found here.



2. My favorite choice of books on dealing with the death of a loved one. Educates you on things to expect from grief, suggestions to make it through, and then ways to reinvest in life without your loved one.



3. This book was, for me, invaluable. It helped to understand the intense turmoil (physical, pschological, familial, social) that the death of a loved one can unleash. I first read it when my beloved grandmother died sooner than expected, and I was in a whirlwind of grief from it. It was an essential resource for me, then, when my father died suddenly, just weeks after my grandfather did, who had had a long-term illness. Part of what I found so incredible about this book, is that it humanizes this experience that feels so intense: it does an excellent job of talking through different waves of grief -- which is not just progressive, alas -- and the different kinds of death of a loved one, which may generate responses in very different inflections, and times.
   It really is a companion as well as a resource, helping to understand one's own experiences, and other people's. In that it offers advice and solace, for sometimes the trauma of grief can wreak crisis across families, and communities, as folks experience parallel but very distinctive losses, depending on who they are, culturally and individually. She does an excellent job of helping folks feel less isolated, and scared, by helping to understand grief in context, and as a profoundly human experience.
   This is one of the few books I have shared with others often---for I feel it can make an incredible positive difference to a person's life. It did in mine.
   Maya Roth



4. I lost my husband suddenly due to a drunk driver shortly after we were married (I was 22). It was my first close experience with death - he died before my grandparents, or anyone else close to me, and I was completely overwhelmed to say the least.
   
   This book was given to me by a friend of the family and it really was a lifesaver. It was comforting to read something that focused on feelings, emotions, and expectations without being fluffy or sappy.
   
   This book is so well written and offers healing words and advice that have stayed with me for years. As another reviewer mentioned, I give this book as a sympathy gift instead of flowers or another card.



5. I had trouble getting in to this book. It wasn't very easy to read and didn't do me much good. I was luck to have read other books that helped me before I opened this one.

5 comments about Love Is Letting Go of Fear.

1. I think this is a great book. I'm a little better person every time I read it.



2. Simplistic but an ok entree to the subject. To anyone who is beyond a bare bones beginner, keep looking.



3. Gerald Jampolsky has taken the concepts from A Course in Miracles and translated them into easy-to-understand lessons. In Love is Letting Go of Fear, he encourages us to focus on love, not fear.
   
   He provides 12 lessons for personal transformation, such as:
   #3 - I am never upset for the reason I think
   #6 - I am not the victim of the world I see
   #7 - Today I will judge nothing that occurs
   #12 - I am responsible for what I see
   
   This book is an international bestseller that is easy to read and which contains principles that are easy to follow.
   
   Anyone looking for reminders from the more scholarly Course in Miracles, will find this book a joy to read.



4. Anyone who has "trust" issues, and you may not even know it, until you begin reading this book, has to have it
   It is a complete, step by step, soft, yet direct introduction to cleaning out the garbage of life that weighs you down
   It opens the door to a comfortable future without pain
   Great read



5. This book is more than what was expected. All the reviews are right-on; this book will give you life-changing concepts. It's easy to read and it makes sense. Love it!

5 comments about Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused As Children.

1. This is a book I give to clients who have past molest or abuse history. Eliana Gil has a beautiful and succinct way of explaining the "side effects" of such abuse - how it reveals itself in every realionship and how it is so disabling to it's victim. The best part is that it's easy to read and small in length making it a good book to give clients.



2. I agree with some of the other reviewers that this book is very simplified, but keep in mind too that the author's stated purpose is not to provide an exhaustive overview of childhood abuse and techniques of dealing with it. She says in the first chapter, "This book has more questions than answers. I ask the reader to explore slowly the issues of abuse in the past. Seek help from friends, relatives, or counselors in order to fully understand the abuse, to put it in perspective, and to move on the a healthier way of relating in the world." To this end, I think Dr. Gil was successful, and I could see how some survivors of child abuse would find this book helpful as a complement to therapy. But I agree with another reviewer that if you are at the point of seeking out a self-help book on surviving child abuse, you are probably already convinced that you underwent some form of it and are now most interested, and would most benefit by, specific advice or techniques to help you cope. As a survivor myself, the most interesting lesson I took away from this book was the theme of extremes playing a prevalent role in the life of an adult survivor of abuse. The brief descriptions of the different reactions/roles that adult survivors take on almost always point out that those reactions lie in one extreme or the other. The paradigm "all things in moderation" has been reinforced in my life after reading this book, which is indeed an important lesson but one that I already knew anyway. If you are struggling with this issue I can't say I wouldn't recommend the book, but only as a supplement to therapy or other, more exhaustive books.



3. This is a tiny little book with lots of pictures and very little substance to it. It's designed to ask questions of the reader and point out certain behaviors, and that's it. I didn't find the information in it very useful, but since I do volunteer work with children I decided to keep in around to refer to from time to time. I didn't find it to be a book for adults at all. My advice is don't waste your money.



4. This book presents a simple, friendly clinical resource that is helpful to therapists and as bibliotherapy for clients who are dealing with abuse.



5. The author has a wealth of experience working with children. The book is easy to read. It is really helpful and each page is a thought provoker. Better is read slower so the reader has plenty of reflective time. This book and the author will be classics in the child abuse and treatment category. Self-help or in therapy, the book and its author are right on.

5 comments about It's Called Wo for a Reason!: Your Success Is Your Own Damn Fault.

1. Yes- Larry Winget's book "It's Called Work for a Reason" is filled with sage advice about cultivating a good work ethic for yourself and your employees:
   
   -always be on time
   -work hard, work smart
   -schedule priorites and organize your tasks around them (not the other way around), etc.
   
   90% of all this, however, should be "no-brainers" for anyone who is motivated and seeks proactively to motivate their employees and colleagues. Nothing earth-shattering here that I could see.
   
   If you find yourself in a bit of a rut and need a motivational work pep talk (or know someone who does) then this may be a great book to pick up and give a quick read. Otherwise, save your time and do what you know you need to do- like the sneaker commercial says "Just do it!" That is really the crux of this whole book...



2. Larry is very specific in his book about knowing your priorities. People are becoming more and more spectators instead of doing. People prefer looking busy instead of getting things done. It is a true reorientation of focus when he said: "It's not how many hours you put into the work, but how much work you put into the hours".



3. This is my favorite of Larry's because it gives me a need attitude adjustment whenever I read it.
   He is very big on taking responsibility for your situation and remembering that you are employed to make your company profitable, not to be fulfilled or happy or challenged, even though it is good if those happen also, we cannot expect them.
   
   Yes, he is a little harsh on some topics, and I would take some of it with a grain of salt, but he is like a coach that pushes you to do better.
   
   The truth might hurt sometimes, but you are better off seeing the situation in full daylight instead of complaining and playing the victim.
   
   I have also read his Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life: A Kick-Butt Approach to a Better Life which shares some of the attitude, but veers off onto his opinions which I just don't care to listen to.



4. The book is clear and direct, which is consistent with the advice given about how to be successful in business. Larry's style is entertaining, and all of his recommendations are grounded in his personal business experience. I found the book useful.



5. I have three of Larry's books. This guy is telling folks the very same things I have said all my life. I later went out and bought 40 copies of the three books I have read so when my friends start their whining I just hand them a copy and tell them to go read it. Maybe they have short term memory issues when I tell them so here is a copy of the same stuff I have preached about for years. GREAT STUFF!!!! Just a lot of the truth that people should take to heart. Grow up and start taking responsibility and STOP EITHER BLAMING THE WORLD OR LOOKING FOR A HAND OUT!!!!!!!!

5 comments about Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook: An Interactive Guide to The Nurtured Heart Approach.

1. A no-nonsense approach that is all about positive parenting. Who wouldn't rather use a "carrot" than a "stick"? Gave me lots to think about. Will be especially helpful with my one daughter who is difficult and feels every criticism go right to her heart.



2. I have read a dozen parenting books. This one is by far one of the most helpful, but you have to be consistent. If you like this, try Becky Bailey's works too.



3. Thank you to these authors for helping me see my contribution to my son's difficult patterns of negativity. He responded almost immediately to his "successes", and we're working towards building consistency in our home, with consequences. My son is very sensitive, but prone to angry outbursts and meltdowns when stressed. This workbook is helping both of us to bring some peace back to our relationship.
   
   BRAVO!



4. Glasser, Bowdidge and Bravo have a home run with this book!! As a school social worker, therapist and mother I would recommend this book to anyone who works with children/adolescents of all levels of intensity!! The book describes the Nurtured Heart Approach concisely and colorfully. Anyone can pick this book up, begin using the approach and have immediate success.



5. This workbook is a great way for all professionals and parents to understand and utilize the concepts of The Nurtured Heart Approach.