5 comments about The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents.

1. As I said, I find an interesting book, written from the gutts and experience, very useful. A pageturner I would say



2. Nancy Ratey's book, The Disorganized Mind, is filled with insight, science, strategies, possibilities and compassion. It, fortunately, works as a "read it cover to cover" or a "pick it up anytime, anywhere" book.
   
   Nancy understands the dichotomies with ADD, for example, the concept that people with ADD both need and also rail against structure.
   
   She also gets that each of person is unique, and provides a variety for for each person to have choices. I take margin notes or use a highlighter whenever I read through her book in order to identify what is meaningful in terms of understanding and to remember a specific approach.
   
   I did wonder if an accompanying workbook might help someone clarify and actualize some of her concepts. Perhaps that is yet to come.
   
   I also wished I could have Nancy on speeddial. Happily, Nancy's kind voice in the book comes through clearly, and I can open the book at any time as a way of "calling her up!"
   
   Bravo, Nancy, thank you, and "talk" with you soon!



3. The Disorganized Mind is a God-send for anyone struggling with ADD or ADHD. It is great to know there is someone out there who understands what a person with ADHD goes through and to help that person get a grip on his/her world. Nancy Ratey's book will help anyone with ADHD or ADD organize daily life. I highly recommend this book.It is truly enlightening. Kudos to Nancy Ratey!! Thank you for writing this book!!



4. Nancy Ratey is inspirational and downright practical. It's hard to believe that she has ADHD, but she certainly does. She has a remarkable spirit, as well, to have survived and thrived under her father's rather organized and disciplined eye. Instead of wilting under criticism and a tough standard, she took the advice part of his lectures and tried to always apply it to her actions. Her resilience is remarkable, not unlike the Olmypian swimmer Michael Phelps, who said a little bit of criticism or negative talk on the part of others was something he always managed to turn into the drive to succeed.
   
   Nancy Ratey shares a little of her own life history in this book. I would actually like to learn more. How did she accomplish all, what I call the "heavy mental" work required to graduate from Harvard and also help this institution learn about coaching and the needs of ADHD and LD students?
   
   In her next book, I want her to share her story... Please Nancy? ;-)
   
   Linda Anderson, Master Coach Specializing in ADHD, Past-President of ADDA



5. As a 46 year old adult, I have joked and been joked about most of my life about being ADHD, yet never took the time to be diagnosed. (While I was growing up ADHD was not understood, therefore never considered). I am a business owner, mother and lead a very busy life. I decided to finally to read a book on ADHD and found this one by Nancy Ratey was the one I chose and was able to download it to my Kindle immediately.
   
   I was shocked,relieved, upset and happy all at the same time to look at the list of symptoms to find that I felt I was reading my autobiography. As I was able to read through, I kept thinking the symptom on each title would not fit me....but when reading the descriptions, they did. I have already implemented many of the suggestions made in the book to deal with the challenges I have faced on my life- and they are working for me! It is such a relief to be able to stop beating myself up for what I have been trying to fix by sheer will, constantly frustrated and angry at myself at my failure to do so..to finally see solutions that work. And I loved how she said over and over again. YOU are YOU...not your ADHD. I know I am a good person and could never understand why my actions and words so often were not congruent with who I thought I was. Now it all makes so much sense. I can't thank Nancy enough for taking the time to write this book, assisting people like me, to be more patient with myself as I find strategies and ways to implement them in order to find forgiveness and understanding for myself and from others.

5 comments about You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation.

1. I definitely recommend reading Dr. Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand," even if you think you know all you want to know about the differences between men and women in communication. This is a thoughtful, well-written book analyzing men and women's styles of communication through various studies and anecdotes that not only serve to teach but to also entertain. There are good dialogue conversations in the dynamics of the book and interesting to note the insightful commentary from both perspectives. It is easy to stereotype and have gender bias based on the social norms of our culture, but Tannen provides a fairly balanced view of both subjects. She gives solid support of her findings, which we can often relate to in our relationships. I found myself more intrigued as I read on about the asymmetrical connections between the genders.
   For couples, this book may provide a lot of useful suggestions that could improve to open communication. I did not find this book to really skew personal bias favoring either gender. Instead, it reveals the reality that while men and women use different "conversational styles" of achieving the same means, each are important tactics to recognize. After finishing the reading, I feel much more enlightened about the importance of strategizing my listening and conversing skills.



2. I read this book several years ago and found it well researched, written and easy to understand.
   
   Deborah Tannen is a linguist who clearly addresses how and why women and men communicate differently. She explains that women communicate primarily to establish connections and negotiate relationships while men talk as a primary means to preserve independence and to negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order. Tannen explains that although women also talk to preserve independence and achieve status, and men communicate to establish connections, it isn't the primary concern or focus of the majority of their conversations.
   
   You Just Don't Understand helps a person to gain a better understanding of his or her own individual communication techniques. A well written, researched, insightful and informative book, You Just Don't Understand, presents the gender difference material in a clear, non-subjective and positive manner. This low-bias approach enhances the quality of the material significantly.
   
   The author addresses a number of other issues besides gender differences that govern communication techniques. For example, boys and girls grow up in different worlds and this has a significant effect on how they communicate. Consequently, other issues besides gender differences need to be explored and understood to create an effective dialog between the sexes.
   
   Understanding of linguistic differences promotes better relationships. I recommend this book for anyone interested in learning more about how men and women communicate.
   
   The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking



3. I love how psychologists like to explain behavior to people assuming that all men are alike and all women are alike which just isn't true. Don't buy this book and don't buy Men are From Venus by John Gray. Buy Socionics by Rod Novichkov, figure out what personality type you are and who your best match is then get that person in you life-only then will you see that communication problem has nothing to do with whether you're a woman or a man (another words, it's not your problem, it's that your relationship is THE problem).



4. Although filled with a wonderful examination of human/gender behavior and communication, the preface and first chapter could easily supplement the remaining portion of the book. Tannen is extremely repetitive in her ideas and her research, often veering into tangents obviously relatable to the main thesis of the book. A fascinating overview of relationships-- although only really evident in the first few dozen pages.



5. The author, a sociolinguist, maintains that the importance of having successful conversations in all areas of our lives requires that we be aware of fundamental differences in the way in which men and women converse and relate. She admits that there is a certain amount of stereotyping in her arguments because numerous individuals, whether it be due to factors of class, ethnicity, intellect, age, economic standing, social position, psychological health, etc, do not conform to her gender-specific conversational models.
   
   There is little doubt that communication styles are culturally learned, first within families and then from peer groups. She notes that children invariably play in same-sex groups and at a very early age begin to exhibit distinctly different communication styles along gender lines, which are reinforced and refined through adulthood.
   
   The author's model for female conversation focuses on their desire to connect to other women in a mutually supportive manner essentially as equals, sharing intimate concerns, secrets, gossip, and the like. On the other hand, men eschew such closeness and seek to maintain their independence and status in a hierarchical world. Friendships for men are largely based on shared activities and oftentimes playful aggressiveness. For women, seeking help is a request for understanding and support, whereas for men, requesting or seeking help is played out on a scale of dominance and competence. To help is to give advice and enhance superiority, while the requestor's status falls. Women can see long-winded advice as non-supportive, while men typically don't see as helping lengthy discussions of feelings about troubles.
   
   The author explores the issue of who talks more, women or men. Location is key. Women greatly prefer small, private settings where rapport can be established. It's hardly surprising that women are frequently the primary conversationalists in families, the ultimate private setting. However, men endeavor to enhance status outside the home, in public settings including the workplace, where impersonal information is the currency used. For women, the lack of intimacy in the public realm inhibits their preferred conversational mode. Conversely, men view the home as a place where status does not need to be constantly established and is a haven from unnecessary talking.
   
   It is interesting that either men or women are often not viewed favorably when they dare to adopt the conversational style of the opposite gender. The female boss is probably the outstanding example. Men resent an aggressive female, when they are not in a position of being able to compete for dominance. On the other hand, many men dislike consensus-building approaches that require a lot of talk, especially of a personal nature.
   
   Any model of complex human behavior will fall short, as the use of language most assuredly is. However, there usually is some truth in stereotypes and that is case with the author's gender-based conversational models. Undoubtedly men and women that rigidly conform to these models would have trouble communicating, as the book repeatedly captures. However, most people are more flexible; they subtly negotiate and adapt their interactions beyond these stereotypical models. The book is interesting and could be a wakeup call for those who are misreading their partners.

5 comments about The Sixty-Second Motivator.

1. Like any book in this genre this book will not actually help you unless your "motivated" to change your own behavior. It's simple, easy to read, and practical. It shows you the keys to changing your perspective on on how motivation actually works in yourself and others. I enjoyed it.



2. Being a cardiac rehab nurse and spending a lot of time each day trying to get people to change their lifestyles to create better health, this book caught my eye. After reading it, I found the principles instantly useful for me to use at work. They can help anyone get motivated to get past the barriers that keep them from making changes to improve their health. Additionally, the book is short and to the point which is good for a busy Mom like myself.



3. This is a great book for anyone to learn about how to motivate yourself or others. It's in a very simple story format without a lot of exercises like other self-help books. Very good book - I highly recommend it to anyone that needs to know more about motivation.



4. I read this short book within a space of an hour. It is straight to the point, and is written in the style of a story. The author is a Physical Therapist and tells the story of when he was a student and he visited a senior Physical Therapist in a hospital as part of his training. He learned how to motivate someone within 60 seconds to undertake therapy by increasing importance + confidence in the patient. Although this book was essentially about how someone was able to increase his patients' motivation, this can also be applied to other areas of your life - for any goal. It is an easily understandable read and if you are looking for a way to increase motivation quick then look no further than this book.



5. Along with helping to build my motivation, this little book was straight to the point and very easy to read. In this short story, the author combines his personal experience, and research to convey the importance of motivation through how ready the person is to change their daily habits for the better. The author tells about the patients he encountered during an internship opportunity and how change (no matter how big or small) helped them become motivated to do better. I would recommend this book to anyone who feels as if small change wouldn't be significant in their life. This book would dramatically change their opinion and make them want to strive for a better lifestyle. The Sixty-Second Motivator offers its readers simple steps (referred to as "secrets") to follow through with their improvement. It was enjoyable to read and very eye opening!

5 comments about The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance.

1. "Invest in Loss" is probably the best line and best principle to take away from this book. Although it is a universal philosophical principle the author highlights it well and gives good examples of how it helped him in his training through Chess and Push Hands.
   
   I'd also add that this is probably one of the few if only principles that support the title of the book. The invest in loss ideal is something I have incorporated into my own teaching and learning and recommend others interested in moving forward adopt this same principle, but you do not need this book to tell you how to do it.
   
   I would have enjoyed more about Push Hands when the author made the leap to that section of the book. Even though there are 3 main parts, the book is essentially divided into two - chess, and push hands. Unfortunately the author missed the mark here as the push hands section spends a majority of the pages bringing up the authors chess experience and regurgitating the first half of the book rather than spending more time discussing his push hands training and experiences.
   
   This book, simply put, is nothing but the author pandering to his own ego and not at all a book about learning or how to improve your learning. I made it to page 209 out of 262 and couldn't bring myself to finish another 50 pages of the same text reborn time and time again.
   
   I recommend you pass this one up or you'll be investing in loss through your wallet!



2. Josh Waitzkin is absolutely incredible. He has done so much at such a young age. My wife (Jane) and my two children (Cranny and Keet) went to the 25th anniversary conference of SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted)([...]) . Josh spoke at this conference about how he has achieved the success he has achieved in both chess and martial arts. It was clear that his intellectual abilities are exceptional and he is capable of learning to skills quite quickly. The one thing I learned more than anything is that when one learns a new skill, it is important to take a part of that skill and master it. Once the part of the skill is mastered, the rest of the skill becomes that much easier to master. Many of us when we are learning new skills try to do too much at one time. This one piece of advice has helped me immensely. It has also helped me give advice to others including my children and clients. Josh's book outlines his journey towards the mastery of his passions. It is quite an amazing read and will be an inspiration to us all. I highly recommend telling Josh's story to your children or to the children you work with.
   
   Steven E. Curtis, Ph.D.
   Understanding Your Child's Puzzling Behavior: A Guide for Parents of Children with Behavioral, Social, and Learning Challenges



3. In the subtitle of "The Art of Learning," Josh Waitzkin aptly describes his book as "An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance." It is about his own life's learning processes developed during the mastery of two disciplines. One is intellectual: chess. The other is physical: the martial arts form of Tai Chi Chuan. In the writing of the book, he demonstrates that he is an expert in the process known as "mastery learning" as well as a highly accomplished storyteller and teacher. You'll notice I've emphasized the word "mastery." That is because I want to be very clear. The book is not about accelerated learning or quick tricks for memorization. It won't help you cram for an exam and get an easy "A." It is about learning how to learn. About learning at a depth that the learning becomes a part of you. About developing enduring knowledge, skills or expertise. And about using that learning to perform at high levels.
   
   If you want to know how to learn simply anything -- any subject, any skill, this is the book. It reads like a novel and teaches as if it were wired into your brain. It contains the most accessible description of the process of learning from experience I've ever seen, including the need for awareness, intention, attention, noticing details, analyzing, testing assumptions, planning new responses, testing behavior, honing, refining and practice, practice, practice. (Considering that I used to teach Psychology of Learning at the graduate level, I've seen quite a few descriptions of the learning process.)
   
   And like a good novelist would, Waitzkin doesn't just tell -- he shows. You can bet someone has the "know-how" if he also has the "show-how." Moreover, he adds something you would rarely see in a textbook on learning processes: he uses the context of real life and actual experience to show the connection between learning and emotion, how to avoid its pitfalls and how to use it to your advantage. It is a very practical and usable book.
   
   Please note, however, that although I stress how well he weaves his teachings into a story so that you learn them implicitly, he also has a great deal of quite explicit explanation. You don't have to guess what he means. The book could be used as a textbook. It is just more entertaining than a usual textbook.
   
   "The Art of Learning" belongs on the bookshelves of anyone who wants to learn well and deeply, but most certainly it belongs on the bookshelves of psychologists, educators, trainers, coaches, students and all others who study "learning how to learn," right alongside of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's various books on "flow" and George Leonard's "Mastery."



4. The author was the subject of the book/movie Searching for Booby Fisher. Not only is he a National Chess champion, he is also a martial arts champion. He has a very good read on what it takes to get to the ultimate levels of achievement in pretty well everything. I found tremendous insight in this book, and a heightened appreciation for the dedication to detail and performance needed at these levels. I really enjoyed his discussion on "chunking' information and "carved neural pathways" as tools that we all use to become better and better at everything we do. He also gives a very clear description on the stress and recovery model used in high performance training. As ever, I appreciate an easy to read book that lays it out so clearly that even a thick headed Swede like my self can make sense of it all. I appreciate the line, " You need to know what good feels like in order to achieve it again and again." We call that Knowing what the grass looks like when it is cut."



5. The Art of Learning. The title is presumptuous and not a good fit for the content of the book.
   Whatever your endeavor, if you are of a like mind, you will benefit from reading this book. Truth is, even if you don't benefit, it's a very engaging and interesting read. To the right people I always say: "You'll love it!!" I don't recommend it at all to the others. I've given away several copies, including my own and I expect to give away many more.

5 comments about Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

1. Remember the Giant Fun Books that you'd take with you on family vacation when you were a kid? Well, this is the adult version, and it's overflowing with fun things that give you great ideas, and make you feel good, and activities to teach you exciting ways to brighten up every moment of life for you and everyone around you. This book is a MUST HAVE for everyone, any age, everywhere! Give it as a gift, or start a movement, this book is a great tool for positive change...you can open it to any page, and find just what you needed at that very moment...you can use it like an oracle, or daily meditation, or a boost of energy. It makes reality enjoyable.



2. It can be difficult for smarty-pants people to combat negativity. In literary, philosophic and academic circles, cynicism is rewarded; skepticism is virtuous; pessimism is conflated with realism. "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention."
   
   But do these attitudes really help anyone? Why does being smart, aware, and/ or progressive mean you have to be miserable? Who actually wants to be outraged all the time, and what good does it do?
   
   This book provides an alternative for people who consider themselves too smart to be cheered up by Ziggy cartoons. It makes its case for love and sincerity aggressively and effectively. It is a beautiful truth bomb, and yes, an excellent antidote for paranoia. Highly recommended.



3. I have been a Rob Brezny fan for a long time now...
   I receive his weekly newsletter/horoscope via e-mail, and finally decided to check out the link to this new book he's always quoting from...
   It must have been destiny! This book is SO right-on, and it was, and is, exactly the antidote I needed...
   In fact, I believe it's the antidote we all need!
   WHY DO I LOVE THIS BOOK?
   I love a book that inspires you to think...
   I love a book that encourages you to question...
   I love a book that allows you to step outside of yourself, a book that gives way to a new, broader point-of-view...
   That's what Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings does for its readers. It's enlightening, truly.



4. to me, this book was scattered as well as self-promoting. rob talks about himself alot, and i didn't receive any message that i haven't heard before, and better. i would skip this one and go for eckhart tolle.



5. Nearly everyone will like this book. Honest. Perfect gift book. It's got stuff for all types of people. Mystics, scientists, punk teenagers, conservative grandfathers, recovering cynics, Pollyannas, and all the rest of us, struggling to feel like life is GOOD. It's filled with GOOD. Brezsny shows you the good is under your nose.
   
   This book doesn't allow you to hold onto any limiting old ways of being. So even when I am trying to be self-indulgently depressed, stubbornly kicking and screaming against his proof of a world filled with love, little changes are still happening. It's like cognitive behavorial therapy but with TAZ anarchy, Burning Man, and Divine sex tips straight from the Goddess Herself. I keep coming back because it actually is working to keep me feeling blessed and like a blessing - to the world, including myself!
   
   Plus parts are a workbook and if you know nothing else about me, you know I adore workbooks, so doing an exercise about my Jungian Shadow actually hiding my best traits from myself just makes me giddy.
   
   And there are many, many pages of facts that prove life is getting better in every way imaginable. The regular news, with its obsession with depression, is called "pop nilhilism". I like that term.
   
   The way it is written, it's like 3 or 4 TYPES of books. It's smart and assumes I am, too. This isn't a dumb New Age "feel good" book. It's radical, dangerous, and transformative. I can't imagine walking away without some jaded self-illusions ripped off - and something frighteningly unexpected and beautiful taking its place.
   
   I kept a star off just because Brezsny always writes about himself as if he's perfect - most commonly when he's explaining how he's not. I think his Mom didn't give him attention unless he went supernova.
   
   Speaking of stars, yes, he's the astrology guy everyone loves. Yes, this book is written like his crazy horoscopes. That right there should convince you to buy it.

5 comments about All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.

1. Robert Fulgram's book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten is now more than 15 years old and has been updated in a new version. The book became an instant classic with its wise statements and gentle humor. The essence of the book is the following set of statements:
   Share everything.
   Play fair.
   Don't hit people.
   Put things back where you found them.
   Clean up your own mess.
   Don't take things that aren't yours.
   Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
   Wash your hands before you eat.
   Flush.
   Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
   Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
   Take a nap every afternoon.
   When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
   Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
   Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
   And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
   We learned most of these ideas as children, but as adults we often forget or discard them as no longer relevant. Yet they remain as the truly important things in life. The trick is not only to remember them but also to use them in an adult context. Maybe we can't take a nap in the afternoon any more, but we can relax and get sufficient rest so that we can work efficiently; we know better than to hit people, but political and personal violence is still a major part of life in the United States. Living a balanced life is something many adults have difficulty achieving. My own advice is to post this list someplace where you can see it every day. And it wouldn't hurt to read this small volume over and over again.
   
   I rate this book at 5 stars. The other reviews seem for the most part to be either 5 or 1 stars. The negative reviewers miss, in my view, the main point of the book--that simple things are the most important and simple ways of saying things are the best means of communication.



2. This book kindly brings us back to the basics of life and shows us to 'keep it simple' once again. His thoughts and writing skills kept me engaged while teaching me a refreshing perspective that I once had learned.
   
   Great addition to any readers loves!
   
   Merna Throne
   Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!



3. This book contains all the lessons we need to know to lead a successful life. It is a reminder that we learned long ago the lessons we need in Kindergarten to be successful at whatever endeavor we choose. I recently used those lessons with my high school graduating seniors. It is worth repeating because I feel we have forgotten the lessons. Arthur L. Williams Ph.D. Principal Ann Arbor Huron High School.



4. An easy and touching read. great stories that warm the soul. made me want to share the book with those i love.



5. Adorable! I mean, with a title like that, how could I NOT get this book? Even though some of the stories didn't apply to me, they were still great to read, and there were tons that did apply and just gave me that warm happy feeling. Everyone should read this book, this is what true inspiration is :D One thing though, it seems that at the beginning, there was some of the Kindergarten-ness, but then, it lost it. What happened? Those were my favorite parts, the connections, and then they died and the book lost a lot of its charm. Sadness. Still, cool read, I'm probably going to post it back for swapping so someone else can enjoy it, too!

5 comments about A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted.

1. The first thing to understand about A Complaint Free World is that Will Bowen is NOT saying to be a doormat! He explicitly says "Directing a comment to someone who can improve your situation is not complaining." He says "I am NOT advocating remaining silent when there is something that has happened which you need corrected." His assistant, Marcia, says "It is NOT about stuffing your emotions in and putting on a Pollyanna face."
   
   What they are going on is Dr. Robin Kowalski's definition, which was used in a famous study on complaining. "Whether or not the particular statement reflects a complaint ... depends on whether the speaker is experiencing an internal dissatisfaction."
   
   So it's important to know this up front. This book is ALL for speaking out, speaking up, making changes, seeking improvements. It is about doing those things in a way that keeps you healthy, and will best reach your goals.
   
   So, with that being understood, what is this book about? Will Bowen was trying to inspire his church members to live more attentive lives. Many of them had financial difficulties. The financial planning books they had talked about how complaining did little good to help - that people had to face their problems head on, work out solutions, and then work through them with energy and focus.
   
   Will liked this idea and thought he could help people with the complaining part at least. He ordered 500 purple wrist bands that said "spirit", passed them out, and asked everyone to try not complaining for 21 days. If you complained, you moved the wrist band to the other wrist and started counting again. The moving-the-band was key - it was a physical action, something that your brain began to pay attention to.
   
   People thought this would be easy - and then discovered they had to move the band 20 times in one day! Will himself broke 3 bands with all the moving before he succeeded. The average person who tries this takes 4-8 MONTHS before they succeed. However, they improve as time goes - and they report being SO much happier by the end.
   
   Why?
   
   "You can best get what you desire by expressing what you WANT rather than complaining about the way things are." People actually made far more progress in their lives when they phrased their desires in a way that enticed action, instead of in a way that was negative. Listeners get defensive and hostile at criticism - but they feel drawn to help if you are going for a positive goal.
   
   "You have a right to get what you deserve. To achieve this don't talk about or focus on the problem. Focus BEYOND the problem." This is echoed in many other books. What you focus on is what you tend to get. If you complain about being fat and unhappy, you'll probably stay fat and unhappy! If you talk about your goals to go walking more, and your desire to go walking, I bet people will cheer you on and offer to go walking with you.
   
   As Earl Nightingale says, "We become what we think about".
   
   They have distributed 6 million FREE bracelets already, so this is resonating with a lot of people.
   
   Will lays out the four stages of achieving mastery of ANY subject, including non-complaining.
   
   * Unconscious incompetence
   * Conscious incompetence
   * Conscious competence
   * Unconscious competence
   
   What this means is we start out trying a new thing without realizing just how hard it could be. That's fine, otherwise we might not even try smile So with complaining, we start out thinking "heck that's easy" and then realize just how much we DO complain. So we're now conscious of how much work is ahead of us. But then over time, we get much better at it with attention - and finally it is a normal healthy part of our lives and we do it naturally.
   
   The Psychological Bulletin study on complaining found that many complain to get sympathy, attention, or to dodge out of doing something. They even found that doctors felt 2/3rds of all visits to them were based on something mental / emotional! For example, someone gets extremely stressed by work - and this drives up their blood pressure. Think of how much more healthy we could all be if we found a better way to deal with stress and issues!
   
   Ben Franklin said "The best sermon is a good example." Will points out that you shouldn't complain about others complaining smile Don't try to change others. Just be yourself, and don't "feed" their complaining. You might find they change naturally when they don't have a complaining buddy!
   
   Will emphasizes that this is NOT about being a passive doormat. Martin Luther King Jr had his dream. Rosa Parks took her seat and held it. They had a positive vision of the future, and they went for it. They achieved great things.
   
   He reminds you to think about why you are complaining, if you do. Criticizing a place (like a cheap restaurant) if often a form of bragging about your more sophisticated tastes. Criticizing others is a way of saying you are better than they are. He says it is fine to "process" - to share your feelings. "I feel upset because of what was said." He says it is less healthy to deliberately bash others, "She is a stupid jerk for doing that."
   
   Overall I found this a very well written book, with great examples, a healthy dose of humanity, and a wonderful message for us all. Will doesn't say this is easy. He doesn't even say this is for everyone. But I definitely agree that many of us complain at the drop of a hat, over things that are really not a big deal at all. All that stress affects our bodies and our health. If we were able to find the humor in life - and find positive action to fix the things we want to fix - our world would really be a much better place.
   
   Highly recommended!



2. I saw this book lying around my office: probably it was a review copy. So I picked it up. It didn't take long to read (and it didn't take long to write either). So here's the deal. Order a "complaint free" bracelet from a website (address thoughtfully provided). Wear it on your wrist. Every time you complain, gossip or criticize, switch it to the other wrist. Result: in 4 to 8 months, you will reach the goal of not complaining about anything for 21 days straight. You will be HAPPY. You will be SECURE. You will know BLISS. You will be assured of salvation in the life hereafter.
   This book is written by the lead pastor of a church in Kansas City, Missouri. It includes nuggets realy profound and hard-earned wisdom such as: "I finally looked at the word insecure. It's the opposite of secure." (page 79.) "I discovered that the word spirit comes from the Latin word spiritus (page 89). "If you will begin to call the people and events in your life by names that spur positive energy in yourself, you will find that they no longer bother you and in fact can be a real bonon for you." (page 104.) "To criticize means to find fault with someone or something."
   Far be it from me to criticize! So by all means read this book. It's only 176 pages long. It won't take too much of your time. And once you've read it, you too will be able to "start enjoying the life you always wanted." It's that easy, isn't it?



3. I found this to be extremely difficult to follow but it's well worth it. I read the book and listened to the CD in my car. I enjoyed it so much, I ordered the bracelets and CD for work and hopefully we'll create a small group to meet weekly, listen to a chapter and discuss it along with our personal experiences.



4. Even if you don't get the book, try the experiment. Get their bracelet (or use a jelly bracelet, or one of your own) and put it on your wrist. Each time you catch yourself grumbling or complaining or criticizing something or someone, put the bracelet on the other wrist. In my first day, I must have changed it 7 times in the first hour. I was shocked, and intrigued...enough to try it for nearly a week before I gave up. That was a year ago, and I still think about that bracelet every week. And yes, I'm far less critical than I used to be. Now, I do neuroscientific research on meditation, spirituality, and optimism, and I think that this little gimmick is a gem. Why? Because every time you foster a critical thought, your brain releases a cascade of stress chemicals which eventually damages the very circuits that control anxiety and irritability. So a little exercise like this can have a profound effect on neural functioning, which is why Andrew Newberg, MD, and I talked about the Reverend Bowen's bracelet and his vision of a complaint-free society in our book, How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist. Oh, and one more thing, which we thoroughly discuss in our book: every time you complain in public, your irritability-like a virus-is neurologically picked up by every person who hears your voice or sees your face. So by all means, train your brain to be optimistic and positive because (according to 30+ years of longitudinal research conducted by Duke University and the Mayo Clinic), it will literally add years to your life.
   
   PS: Check out their website (acomplaintfreeworld.com) for tips for teaching children to become "complaint aware." Interestingly, a Missouri congressman was so impressed by the idea that he just introduced a bill into congress calling for a "Complaint-Free Wednesday," the day before Thanksgiving. I hope it passes....



5. This book really made me think about what I say and do and how it not only effects others and my relationships but also my own emotional and mental health and well being. Recommend this book for anyone who is looking to further define themself.

5 comments about Power Thought Cards (Beautiful Card Deck).

1. If I could give no stars, I would. I'm putting this review on each of Louise Hay's titles to warn people who fall into believing that this is a caring, compassionate person. I met her recently at an event and was about to compliment her on one of the books her company publishes that Dr. Dyer wrote for children. Louise Hay was so incredibly rude to me before I even got to open my mouth that I was shocked. The woman seemed to be only about capitalism, power and ego and, though I had been a previous customer of her publishing company, I will NEVER purchase anything by them again nor will I recommend them. I will not give money to someone so ill-behaved, let alone someone who's telling others to be nice when they haven't learned that lesson themselves. Louise Hay, I hope someone on your team shares this with you. You should be ashamed of yourself for being so nasty!
   
   By contrast, I have dealt with the people at Sound's True a zillion times and all of them are as nice as can be and behave in accordance with their products. I spoke with their people at the same event (and others before it) and they were all lovely.
   
   And, no, I do not work for or am in any way compensated by Sound's True. I simply people should know the truth about who practices what they preach and who doesn't. In my opinion, Hay's behavior was one step down from Cruella De Ville. If you're shocked reading that, imagine how shocked I was experiencing it from her.



2. 
   I USED TO ATTEND A WOMEN'S GROUP, IN WHICH, AT THE END OF THE GROUP EACH OF US WOULD PULL A CARD OUT- READ IT ALOUD, AND THEN PLACE IT SOMEWHERE WHERE IT WOULD BE READ AT LEAST ONCE A DAY UNTIL THE FOLLOWING WEEK.
   
   ONE SESSION THE CARD I PULLED READ, "IT'S ONLY A THOUGHT, AND A THOUGHT CAN BE CHANGED."
   
   I HAD SO MANY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS FLOATING AROUND IN MY HEAD, AND I LOVED ADOPTING NEW THOUGHT CHOICES THAT WERE PROVIDED IN THIS DECK. I PUT THE CARDS EVERYWHERE INCLUDING ALL AROUND THE BATHROOM MIRROR. EVERYTIME I CRITIZED MYSELF IN FRONT OF THAT MIRROR, I JUMPED TO ONE OF THE CARDS AND WOULD FOCUS ON A LOVING THOUGHT INSTEAD. IT WORKS!
   
   I POST THE CARDS EVERYWHERE AND SAY THEM ALOUD CONSTANTLY. GO AHEAD & HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT! YOUR KIDS WILL GET A KICK OUT OF IT TOO!



3. I recently bought the Power Thought Cards to share with my yoga classes. Before each class I hand out a card to each participant and during the first few minutes of class each person takes a moment to reflect and meditate on the positive thoughts!



4. A friend lent me her box of Power Thought Cards when I had an unbearably painful event take place in my life. Before I was done reading the entire set of cards,I was already on Amazon placing my order.
   
   They are not only beautifully illustrated, but there are enough cards to cover pretty much any situation, desire, or outcome you are looking to improve in your life.



5. I love these cards! They are colorful, loving and charming. I received these cards in perfect condition and have already started spreading the joy they bring to my family and friends!!

5 comments about Dancing with Life: Buddhist Insights for Finding Meaning and Joy in the Face of Suffering.

1. Written by a man who walked away from his position as CEO & Editor in Chief of Esquire Magazine, this treatise is the real thing! Given his command of knowledge in all matters literary, what could have been another cerebral exercise is in fact a work of heart.
   
   Two days ago, I encountered Phillip walking down a rural road at sunset. In silence, we passed one another. Although, I don't really know this man, there existed in that moment an implicit recognition of mutual presence and purpose. When our gaze met and held, I found there... joy, a radiance, peace. No kidding.
   
   Having just finished my read of "Dancing with Life", I thought, "here is an author, a teacher... who literally 'walks his talk' ".
   
   The book is like that--filled with easily understood and accessible content, literary references, stories, metaphor, and allegory. He skillfully integrates case examples from the lives of his students, and wisdom gleaned from years of study in the original Buddhist texts. Backed by his very real practice and lived experience, the content comes alive in one's heart, and is not easily forgotten.
   
   A central theme encourages the reader not to rely on conceptual teachings of the Four Noble Truths; rather, to intentionally pursue a 'lived" or "felt experience" of the insights through the practice of mindful meditation. Ultimately, the possibilities are limitless.... to fully embrace all of life at T.S. Eliot's dynamic "still point" is readily available... that place where suffering and joy passionately tango together in the dance of life. A highly recommended read!



2. This book, although not written in a very flowery or flowy style, gave me real insights... it wasn't even what he wrote, but how he wrote it maybe...
   
   I was familiar with the 4 noble and the 8 fold path, but this book spoke to the heart...and not to the head...that's why the head has a hard time following...I will have to re-read it again. The wording is simple, but the meaning deep. It is one of those books that you can randomly pick a page and read a paragraph, and there is no need to keep going.



3. This book is an excellent western explaination of Ajan Sumedho's teachings/realizations of the four noble truths. The author has obviously realized aspects of these teachings as well.



4. As a long time practitioner in the Theravada tradition, I expected this book to be a bit "light" on content. In reality, this is one of the best workbooks for walking the path that i have come across. Moffit interprets Ajahn Sumedho's explication of the 12 aspects of the four noble truths in terms of modern life, and thereby turns what was previously an intellectual teaching into an eminently practical day-to-day guide for real life in a hectic, stressed-out world. I have read this one over and over as we learn, forget and relearn these vital teachings, and progress deeper in understanding



5. I am recommending this book to all of my friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances. Phillip Moffitt skillfully conveys the tools we can use to truly bring an end to our suffering. This isn't just about big suffering (grief, loss, physical pain), this applies to the suffering we all experience every single day (and have accepted as 'normal'). Our daily suffering is often restlessness and frustration, impatience and wishing the moment were something other than what it is. How we meet the circumstances in each moment determines how we dance with our life. This book is invaluable in helping one to apply these principles (understanding the Four Noble Truths - which contains over 2,600 years of wisdom) to our daily life.
   I have had the good fortune of attending three of Phillip Moffitt's Vipassana meditation retreats in the last three years, which were life-changing for me. He writes like he speaks. Clearly and from the heart. I cannot recommend this book enough.
   
   May you find peace on your journey.

5 comments about Body Clutter: Love Your Body, Love Yourself.

1. What first captured my attention and made me feel like I'd made a good choice is the preface to this book. It tells just how hard it was for the authors to 'fess up to their own body issues. VERY! I REALLY appreciated that level of honesty. The book then follows the FlyLady's procedures and philosophy. It's not fancy, just down home common sense. I bought this book on a whim, and I'm very glad I did. It has MUCH to say about how women take care of themselves and how they can change negative habits. Buy it. You'll be glad you did.



2. Body Clutter: Love Your Body, Love Yourself
   
   I love this book! Written using personal experience and gentle encouragement, this book helps us understand why we have too much body clutter by examining the clutter we have between our ears. Once we understand why we think the way we do, it is easy to see why we eat the way we do. So simple, so profound. Thank you for writing this book!



3. i took this book out of the libray and could not make it thorugh to the end. the authors are emotionally abused and found comfort in food. they got heavy and from what i could tell they are sitll heavy. one of them has diabetes and she is over weight. i think they need therapy. they have a lot of issues and things bottled up. it does not tell you how to have your own exercise plan, how to pick a gym, and in one chapter it tells you to eat five times a day with small snacks. who has time to eat five times a day?



4. I was curious about this book and after hearing both FlyLady and tons of Flybabies say that "it is NOT a weight-loss book", I decided to give it a try.
   I do not need to loose weight, but as anybody I still constantly ask myself when to eat how much and what, and do I get enough sleep and exercise etc... I think the most valuable point I got out of the book was that it confirmed that I do kind of deprive myself of sleep and that I should love myself more and go to bed earlier.
   This book is clearly written with a lot of love and good intentions, and the text is easy to read (except possibly if the contents bring up emotions in you that are hard to bear). The authors give personal accounts of their struggles and previous problems. I am blessed not to have such a troubled past. If I had, I think this book would have been a great consolation to me.
   If you do have body clutter, I think that this book will address a lot of different ways of looking at your situation and that is why it is "not just a weight loss book".
   So if you are not overweight (or have any kind of self-punishing behavior) and do not have a traumatic past, you probably do not need this particular book. But I'm a strong believer in FLYing in general. I have gotten a more positive outlook on life and my situation since I started listening to FlyLady & associates, and I think my family has benefitted from this in several ways.



5. When we see an overweight man do we automatically assume that he smothers emotional pain by stuffing his face?
   
   I ask the above question because, though I find Cilley and Ely to be engaging and honest in their discussion of the difficulties of obesity, I also question the premise that emotional pain is the cause of excess body weight. Women are so associated with emotions and emotionalism that it seems a natural extension to assume that any problem they encounter must have its origins in troubled thoughts and feelings. But is this an accurate way to look at obesity? Or does this approach have women vainly searching for emotional solutions to a problem that may be physical or environmental in origin?
   
   My own weight has increased during a period of great personal contentment. I am not the walking wounded, my emotional life is normally even keel, yet those pounds are pretty stubborn. I wish the authors had gone into other possible causes of obesity and not assumed that my body weight is a reflection of inner turmoil. As in Cilley's previous work, "Sink Reflections," I expected the authors to spend more time delving into the details, such as how they integrate better diet and exercise into their daily routines. In this I was disappointed.
   
   If you feel that your excess weight does have an emotional component, do read this book. These ladies probably have a lot to say to you that you will empathize with and consider. But if you just cannot attribute your eating habits with emotional pain,then you would do better to seek out a book with more detailed nutrition and fitness advice.