5 comments about Super Self: Doubling Your Personal Effectiveness.

1. Interesting that some people are surprised that Charles Givens produced this audio tape program and the book of the same name--SuperSelf; interesting because this is how Givens started way back in 1975 with his first company The Success Motivation Institute which was incredibly successful. SuperSelf is a program designed to take back control. To destroy the control others or events have over our emotions and the direction of our lives. To stop waiting for our ship to come in and go out and swim to it. Not to wait for things to happen but to make thing happen. Not to find ourselves, but to design ourselves. To take the action in our lives to make our dreams into reality.SuperSelf will show you how to design the rest of your life to become the best of your life and to live your dreams.



2. Like his financial books, Charles Givens offers a no nonsense system for becoming your best. You will learn how to flatten your fears, generate goals and add several hours of productivity to your day with more free time for fun to boot.

   The tape is an overview. The book is very thorough.

   Highly recommended along with Stephen Coveys 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.




3. I read a classic self-development book on my recent flight called, Super Self Doubling Your Personal Effectiveness by Charles J. Givens. Charles is one of the long-time motivational speakers and rags to riches type person that people like to read about. Often I find these people to be somewhat shallow but the basic message is right.
   
   In the book he shares a number of success strategies. The first one is to learn from the experience of others rather than your own. In my opinion, this is true wisdom and this is something that I still seek.
   
   Charles Givens' outline is very basic and is what you would see in almost any self-help book:
   
   1. Have dreams and goals. (I always thought the difference between dreams and goals is that goals were dreams with action)
   
   2. Develop strategies to achieve these.
   
   3. Practise â" consciously and continuously apply the strategies at every opportunity.
   
   4. Habits - as I have often said before, we become what we repeatedly do.
   Results, with these new skills and abilities, you will achieve results.
   
   I would not make it as linear as that, I would make it into a circle. As results start to happen, then new dreams and goals need to be set. I feel a need to constantly revisit goals.
   
   Overall this is a great book and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in improving themselves and achieving goals in life.
   
   His program takes it right from the goal setting through the time management area. It is a great refresher on what we need to do to be successful. I always seem to need this. I know what I should do but I frequently fall back into not doing it. books like this challenge me to once again play at the top of my game all the time.



4. This is one of the best "self-help" books I have ever read. I am
   re-reading it in case I missed something.



5. Even though he died in 1998, everything in this book is still valid.
   From little simple tips like allowing a little extra time to get somewhere to making sure you have gas in your car so you won't forget to put some in when you are rushed to controlling phone call interuptions this book is chock full of little tips.
   Even things like putting your keys in the same spot to having your doors keyed to use the same key, he just keeps on offering ways to save time and hassle that you can avoid if you listen to him.
   One of the pioneers of real estate infomercials, he speaks to you on how to enjoy your life.
   Shortly before he died he was sued with frivolous lawsuits, so ignore the ignorant reviewers that talk about that. He set up his estate so they couldn't touch his wealth. Good for him. Glad to know Givens kept his money shielded from buzzard lawyers.
   Learning how he overcame a hard childhood to go on to live a life most would only dream of should inspire you to do the same.
   All in all, a good combination of both inspirational reflecting on his growing up to practical advice once he had made it as an adult.

2 comments about Recovery Of Your Self-Esteem: A Guide For Women.

1. Carolynn Hillman presents an effective way to eliminate the inner-critic with its degrading and put-down voice and teaches us how to replace this with a supportive inner caretaker so that we can truly be our authentic selves. This is the first book that I have found that gets to the root and digs out the cause of poor self-esteem. The first line in Chapter 3,"Why We Are the Way We Are" blew me away. She writes, "We devalue ourselves and treat ourselves in harsh, judgemental, overly critical ways because we have been taught to do so". Wow, that meant I could unlearn this and eliminate once and for all that self-destroying inner critical voice! I wasn't born flawed! The author gives clear, specific steps on how to do this and it works. I have been working on my self-esteem for many, many years; reading books, therapy, and praying. The day before I found this book on my friend's bookshelf,I had asked in anguish and frustration, "How do I do this? How do I be ME?!" This book was the answer. Even before I finished reading it and doing the exercises, I experienced a huge "energy exchange". I believe the term is panic attack (of which I had never had before). I was laughing and crying at the same time while unable to get enough air. I gulped and sobbed and laughed as I felt thoughts and emotions whirling and clashing inside me, rearranging themselves. Later I realized it was as if my authentic inner self was battling that "critical worthless" me that I thought was real. When I finally began to breath deeply again, I felt a self-acceptance in my heart and insides for the first time in my life. I knew that I was o.k. I was/am enough. I feel different. I even feel normal - whatever that is. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you Carolynn Hillman for giving me back to myself. I am buying several copies for my daughter, my sisters and friends. So to anyone who is not living the life you want, or being the person you want to be, get this book, read it, do the exercises. You can change and truly be the wonderful, caring, loving and beautiful person you are.



2. This book is not exceptionally user friendly and lacks the appeal that a self help book needs to maintain the readers attention.

5 comments about Boundaries in Marriage.

1. As one who is currently struggling in marriage, attending therapy, attempting to learn my boundaries and have others respect them, this is an excellent book. I am also a Christian, and although I don't crack open the bible to review each passage mentioned, it doesn't bother me that they refer to it either.



2. My therapist recommended this book to me and it made a world of difference in my life. I was close to packing up and leaving. I read it from cover to cover and it put a lot of things into perspective. Then my husband picked it up. All of a sudden he was able to see life through my eyes and understood that being a breadwinner in the family was not his only role in the family. Although he was not cheating on me physically, he was cheating on me emotionally. We were able to stop hating each other for who we are not and loving each other for who we are. I am no longer looking for a way out. I am looking for ways to make us tronger.



3. Its been slow going with this book, but that's primarily due to the fact that I keep stopping to make notes, and reflect back on my own issues before reading ahead, something I've rarely done before. I've tried other self-help but usually speed read thru those without getting anything substantial from them - quite the opposite with this book.
   
   For those who read the other reviews, you'll see some references to the Bible and Christian teaching - I am a Christian (fairly new) but was not aware that this book had those references, so was happily surprised to find them. For those who have an open mind, don't let a handful of bible verses sway you againt the book, especially when you realize that that it is basically common sense (i.e. Take the log out of your own eye before looking to remove the speck from someone eles's - don't judge cuz you probably have your own faults).
   
   I found and continue to find the material especially helpful in my marriage. I can't tell you how often the 'common sense stuff' here has been overlooked in our relationship. Moreso, this book has helped me uncover the underlying root causes to the issues we struggled with, while prior counseling barely scratched the surface. Addressing these has been a huge catalyst in making things better for my wife and I.
   
   I've already recommended this to 2 friends of mine, and will continue to do so w/o being too pushy. But, as the old adage goes, you know what they say about opinions. Ultimately, is a $15 investment worth a better or more solid relationship..? sounds extreme, but i would have easliy paid 100X more if I knew it would get me to where we are today.
   
   I've already ordered "Boundaries for Kids" and can't wait to begin that one.



4. I have suggested this book to many of my friends. Not because they have marital issues, but because its a wonderful book to change your thinking. One review said that creating boundries in your marriage cause division instead of creating "one flesh" as the bible says, however I disagree. I believe the boundaries that the authors are asking us to make enable a couple to experience one flesh more abundantly then before. The boundaries set in place are to cause more dependancy on Christ and less on your spouse or self. A more Christ centered life will cause healing in a relationship better then focusing on your spouse.
   
   My husband and I picked this book up around valentines day for something for us to read together. We are all about learning as much as we can so that we can grow to the fullest as a couple. Being newly married we don't really have any issues, but have really enjoyed this book and what it has to say. My main suggestion in reading this book is to focus on what you need to change not what your spouse needs to change. Our automatic reaction is to point out the other persons faults and needed areas of growth, but in order to really get what this book is saying you must focus on yourself and what God wants YOU to change. Try reading it together. It will help you focus on the areas you need to improve! Happy Reading!



5. This is a really good book. I also read the "Boundaries" book by both authors. It really helped me out with my issues of allowing others to take advantage of me. I was always giving but felt bad about how horribly I was being treated by the people who are close to me whom I gave to. Well, I took a stab at the Boundaries in Marriage book. What was most helpful to me was seeing samples of other couples in the book which is something I could relate to as well as the scriptures. I saw a review that said Boundaries are not allowing you to become one but in the book it says it allows you to take a look at yourself and change yourself because you cannot change anyone and keep your focus on Christ. Being focused on Christ in your marriage is hard when you are always thinking of how your spouse hurt you and what they did, believe me, I used to let those thoughts consume me. Sometimes people will keep running over you if there are never any consequences. Time and time again the Israelites sinned against God and were punished--they repented to God when they were in pain. Sometimes repeatedly hurtful behavior on both parties part has to be confronted with consequences (not revenge) so change can occur. The book has helped me, sometimes I have to refer back and be reminded because what is in the book is easy but sometimes in the heat of the moment harder to apply.

4 comments about Microhydro: Clean Power from Water.

1. Scott Davis does a wonderful job at explaining every aspect of microhydro. I highly recommend this for teaching or personal use if you are interested in building your own system.



2. Very good practical overview of micro-hydro and alternative energy in general for residential users. Basic primer that anyone who is considering installing such a system should read.



3. Not the best book I've read about Microhydro. I read one published in the 70's and it did a much better job explaining how electricity works and the problems associated with making power from water. Through out microhydro he make references to other parts of the book, it was kind of like teasers when you are watching bad tv, "in just a moment we'll find out what's in Al Capone's secret vault". It was like he didn't have enough to say so he kept stretching it out and repeating things he already said. He also kept talking about the case studies at the end of the book. They were not too informative. All and all I just wanted to let people know I was disappointed. This was supposed to be The Book on microhydro and it just didn't measure up . I more recently read a catch all book for wind, water and solar energy and it did a great job. I would recommend "[[ASIN: Power with Nature Second Edition: Alternative Energy Solutions for Homeowners Updated]]"



4. After reading this book, I must say that energy from water is outstanding compared to other alternative sources. I must say also that I am left with a little puzzlement as the book explains things and parts and equipment in terms as if I was a practitioner of the field of study. I have no experience in the subject so some of the terminology and advice made little sense for my understanding. However, I will keep this book for future reference. I found that this book was written with the idea that though water can provide for most of the needed energy for a small household, understanding the greater need of the household employs more than one source of alternative energy. Few water sources can provide for all needs, and the book stressed this in the biginning. I would have liked to have seen colored photos. The black and white photos were shadey and when referred to them for understanding, I was unable to identify the pointed out areas. I must add that though I am not an engineer or a mathmatician and could only understand about 89% of the subject, I am sold on the idea of microhydro power and it's performance. I am willing to try my hand at my own system, with the help of the book and professionals that is.

5 comments about Reiki: The Healing Touch.

1. We love this book! Lots of History, tons of Pictures and easy to follow text. The Reiki Energy Healing Center follows William Rand's style of Usui Reiki and Karuna Reiki. He lives the Reiki Way of Life. He continually is exploring Reiki and expanding it. The research he has done to get to know Mikao Usui is extraordinary. He is an inspiration!



2. I teach Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki and ONLY recommend books written by Willam Rand and Frank Arjava Petter...do not trust any other authors for traditional Reiki methods



3. I read this book cover to cover. Well written and very informative. A must have for anyone interested in becoming a reiki healer.



4. This book is excellent for use in conjunction with taking Reiki 1 and 2 course lessons. The spiral bound version is perfect for referring to when giving Reiki healing as it opens out flat (and stays flat!!).



5. This is a hand book that is a must have for all Reiki students.
   Very fast shipment and delivery.

5 comments about Laid Off? Don't Stress! How to Get from Mad to Glad.

1. Kitty's warmth and humor pervades the selection of the stories in this wonderful, life affirming book. If you've been laid off and are stressing about it, these inspiring stories will help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You'll understand that not all is lost, and this could very well be your time to do what you've always dreamed of doing. I recommend this book wholeheartedly, and am happy to see a positive spin on what is usually viewed as a negative event.



2. Whether laid off or time off, getting back into the swing of things can turn out to be more than one had bargained for. That was true in my case when I drove from Maine to Arizona to join my partner and start a new life adventure. This book was inspiring and comforting. Hearing other life travelers' stories always are and Kitty has written it in such a way as to offer you hope, encouragement, a push, an "a Ha!" and a way to make sure that the light at the end of the tunnel is the sun....not an oncoming train. I would highly recommend the book for both your head and your heart.



3. I began reading the book Laid Off? Don't Stress! because someone I admire and feel very connected too wrote the book. I finished reading the book because of the inspirational and truly life changing stories that were included.
   Although I have never experienced a lay off, I have recently changed careers and jumped into the unknown for purely personal reasons. This book re-affirmed that no matter where you are in your professional life, you always have the right to choose and to be happy and satisfied in the course you choose to take!Thanks for sharing your story Kitty, I know you will inspire and enlighten others as you have inspried me over the years.
   Best of Luck,
   Lori Cummins



4. Watch Video Here: http://www.amazon.com/review/R1F6SQIV8HFG43 Discover the secrets that successful people have used before you when faced with the adversity of being downsized. There are methods and strategies that will assist you in recovering quickly if this happened to you. It's far easier to recover when you learn from someone who has been there and done that. Shorten your cycle time to becoming successful by understanding proven strategies to overcome adversity.
   
   Wealth Without a Job: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Freedom and Security Beyond the 9 to 5 Lifestyle
   
   Profiting in Turbulent Times
   
   Meet and Grow Rich: How to Easily Create and Operate Your Own "Mastermind" Group for Health, Wealth, and More



5. Kitty Wiemelt has done a tremendous job on this book. I would recomend reading this to anyone who needs a positive boost. I found it to be very encouraging and motivational. It inspires you to want to venture "out of the box" and discover new potentials,and levels of happiness, success and satisfaction. Laid off is filled with inspiring stories of others who have found their passion due to unexpected circumstances in their lives.

5 comments about SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE: 100 WAYS TO SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY THE THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER.

1. I bought this book many years ago when it first came out and absolutely loved it. About once a year or so, I go back and re-read it to get my head on straight about the subject of simplification (pull myself back from slipping into the complicated). Not everything in the book is for everyone (including me), but it really makes you think.
   
   About 15 years ago, we bought a larger house than we absolutely needed and proceeded to throw things into the basement storage area, kitchen cabinets, etc. because "we had the room" and "we might need this some day". After living that way for years, we developed quite a pile of unused stuff and it began feeling very over-whelming. It has taken us several years to eliminate most of the clutter and to begin to let go of stuff we don't need but felt guilty about getting rid of. It is an on-going journey and this book really helps! One thing comes into the house, one thing must go back out.
   
   Many people think of simplification as moving to a cabin in the woods, but the reality for many of us is that we need to simplify in place. Look at your existing situation and make incremental improvements. Over time, they really add up and I feel much, much freer than when we started this program. The simple wardrobe has significantly cut down the amount of time I spend shopping (and has saved hundreds of dollars), the suggestion for don't answer the phone just because it's ringing has saved us many a meal-time (or just quiet time), keep your plants outdoors was obvious once I read it and wonderful in practice.
   
   There are also some very "deep" steps such as cleaning up relationships that are no longer working for you which are enormously helpful. I have spent the past couple of years making sure that friendships I develop are healthy and fulfilling and cleaning up some old relationships where I just got sucked into relationships with needy, toxic folks. That alone saved hours of time and a great deal of stress and strain.
   
   I just can't say enough about this book as well as her other publications. The whole approach is simple and logical .... just start somewhere and get going. You will find yourself in a store thinking about purchases before you make them and only bringing things into your home and life that truly add value.
   
   What an absolutely fabulous book for a beginning simplifier or someone who needs a refresher on a different philosophy of life.



2. This book has been invaluable as I work towards simplifying my life and being able to enjoy myself more and know what enough is! Being from a small country like New Zealand, we end up so far removed from the rest of the world yet greatly influenced by what we see on TV. I now know that enough is when you have time to do what you want and can still find pleasure in the small things like a walk in the park. Thank you Elaine for writing a treasure that can be used all your life and from which you can pick and choose what to implement into your life.



3. HEREIN SHE HAS A FEW GOOD SUGGESTIONS.....its a small book and has as many words as a long magazine article
   this is my composite review of 2 of her 'simple' books
   
   
   
   from another review her
   
   "This "simplification" book was written by a woman whose idea of simplifying is driving a BMW and getting her exercise by taking walks on the beach. "
   
   INDEED WOLCOTT GIBBS HER HUBBY WAS FORMER EDITOR OF 'YACHTING' MAG
   
   The entire first half of the book seems to be talking you into "getting started" simplifying your life. If I needed talked into it, I wouldn't have bought the book now would I? Also during this time, she states that you must do whatever it takes to free up time to "start" this process including lying to your boss by using sick days when you are obviously not sick.
   ACTUALLY I THINK IT WAS THE FIRST QUARTER OF THE BOOK
   
   Apparently, marriage is also not a sacred thing to Ms. St. James as there were several references to it being possibly beneficial to dump your mate or your spouse due to incompatibility in the simplification area. Yes, she used the word ..... DUMP!
   I LOOKED FOR THE WORD DUMP BUT DID NOT FIND...it may be there
   
   To curtail your spending habits, she suggests keeping a 30 day list with you and when you see something you want, don't buy it right away but write it down on your list along with the day's date. If you look at your list 30 days from then and still want it, then it's okay to buy it. My advice? Forget the list ...... wait a month. If you can't remember wanting it, you didn't really need it in the first place!
   HER BOOKS ARE FULL OF DUMB IDEAS...SEE THE CHAPTER ON SIMPLE RECYCLING
   
   Most disturbing was her obvious disregard for others. Here's her advice on declining an invitation to a party or other social function: "There'll be enough people who show up because they want to be there, so you don't need to feel YOU have to. Of course, if no one shows up at all, perhaps it's an indication that the gathering wasn't necessary in the first place."
   SHES VERY NARCISISTIC AND HAS FOUND HER AUDIENCE....SHES A ONE WOMAN SIMPL INDUSTRY
   
   
   Her advice for staying in touch by phone is to inform everyone you know to leave messages on machines rather than picking up the phone and actually talking to each other ..... that would apparently be a waste of time (think of it as audio E-mail she says).
   INDEED SHE SEEMS VERY SHALLOW
   
   There is also a frightening letter included in the book from a 14 year old boy who was obviously searching for the meaning of life and battling depression and the advice he got from one of her books was to "look inside himself for strength and to get in touch with his inner self."
   THE NAME OF THE TEEN IS ERIN SO IT MAY BE A GIRL AND THIS PART OF THE BOOK IS ELAINE AT HER SCARIEST
   
   She informs us that she is an avid reader and has an extensive book collection which I would hazard a guess doesn't contain a Bible!
   EVEN IF SHE OWNS ONE DOES SHE READ IT.......?????



4. Everyone should have a copy of Simplify Your Life as a reminder how full our lives become with everything that isn't necessary. Elaine St. James does a wonderful job of organizing the different areas of life and highlighting places to simplify.



5. I read this book about 10 years ago, and it changed my life. I made a few small changes and a few big ones, and I couldn't have done it too soon. I recently read it again and confirmed that I am still doing somethings to simplify but needed to re-simplify in other ways. You may agree with all, some, or none of the points, but it is really a good way to get you thinking about how you could be doing things differently in your life. I also bought a few copies to loan or give out to people I care enough about to see leading a happy and simple life.

5 comments about Thresholds of the Mind.

1. It's not that it's boring. It's that it's an advertisement.
   I recieved this book as a freebee with the holosync prologue. It's got some nice information which is why it's so annoying that the author has to mention how great his program is and why you should get it just about every 5 sentances. I'm up to chapter 3 and I just can't take anymore. If you have the patience to read the constant commercial I guess it's a good book.



2. Is very good book, ease reading, it covers all almost all information in correlation between brainwaves and states of consciousness. I recommend this book



3. I too received it free with the Holosync program. Maybe you need to have started the program in order to understand exactly what the book is about. I have been doing the program for a short period of time,maybe two weeks. The book is awesome in the amount of clear information and coping strategies it provides for dealing with life's stresses. I usual would read a book this size in a couple of days, but I spent about ten days with this because I was trying to make sure I grasped every detail. The program and the book have already helped me greatly in just two weeks. Mr. Harris has an excellent program,Holosync, and the book is clear and concise. I find so many spiritual books to be filled with mumbo-jumbo. This one is not.



4. Bill Harris is a very, very bright guy. Thresholds of the Mind is an interesting book, and at times his insights are quite profound. BUT watch out for your wallet. The guy is a master salesman. First, there are the introductory Holosync meditation CDs which are relatively expensive compared to other CDs using the same technology. Then there are more levels of the meditation CDs for more $$. And then there are the online courses, the retreats, etc ... He's always looking for a way to take your money and without a doubt he does it in a very professional manner. Just be aware that there is a high level of commitment required to complete the Centerpointe program, and the total cost is quite expensive. My advice is to not get involved unless you are really, really sure you are willing to commit.
   
   In my opinion Bill Harris is doing a service to all of us by providing an unusual and productive perspective on life, but I feel that it is very important that people understand that they should not enter into the financial commitment to the Centerpointe program without realizing that they also have to make a commitment of their own time to make the end result successful.
   
   By the way, this is a positive review ... just think before spending your money. I think Holosync is great!



5. If you're new to meditation there are some valuable ideas about what to do but he gathered them from other sources as well. But the worst thing about this book is which it's named after. The idea of reorganization of your mind at higher level after you are in chaos and overwhelm is so simplistic, and to a degree dangerous either.
   
   There's a much more important variable while going through overwhelm. Overwhelm is caused by your mind which tries to restlessly escape from feeling the emotional pain. So if you continue to listen to his Holosync product while you're in overwhelm, it's gonna be so disturbing that your mind will finally shut down all the incoming pain with supressing neurochemicals, thus quit the healing and probably further repress it. So what you have to do during this situaiton is to stop giving more input to the brain, and as he says in this book, just watch the feelings and sensations in your body. Reorganization at higher levels while pushed by stimuli may happen, like developing your muscles by workout, but if you push yourself while you're in overwhelm it's gonna screw your brain even further. The real healing comes through becoming aware of every sensation in your body.
   
   So if you're new to meditation there are some useful tips here. Other than that he just explains how his technology works. But I don't think it's worth your money.

5 comments about Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage.

1. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Having worked with many couples over the past 35 years I feel I can echo the testimonials Susan has received from some very prominent and thoughtful people--this is a really good book, one I would recommend--and I don't recommend books often or casually. What impressed me the most was that if people actually follow these suggestions, I know their relationship will really improve. How often can that be said? I have recognized over the years, as clearly Susan have also, that much of what doesn't work in relationships has to do with ignorance rather than ill intent. If a person has been raised in an unloving family, then that person simply does not know what actual loving actions are. This book provides that information in such a clear and digestible way; it really provides an important and useful service.



2. I've been a marriage counselor and educator for 25 years; after reading this book I'll never "do" relationship counseling the same again. Susan Page offers us an entirely new paradigm for relationship counseling. Her 'spiritual partnership' concept and approach is revolutionary. Some might blithly think Page naive, but they need to look more deeply into the profound implicaitons of her ideas. Let's face it, marriage counseling has been a dismal failure; as Page points out so well, we, as marriage counselors have worshiped at the dual alters of 1) problem resolution, and 2) communication skills. This is the central issue of my frustration with marriage counseling, I sometimes feel that I'm just teaching couples to talk more clearly about their problems ... the problems only come into clearer focus for them. This isn't solving problems, it's exacerbating them! It simply hasn't worked. Page's new and refreshing approach turns the entire enterprise of counseling around so we all can step back, see the situation more objectively, and take action, not just talk. Anyone who spends any time in their counseling practice with couples needs to read this book, and to recommend this book to their clients.



3. Why Talking Is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage by Susan Page is one of those books that flies against the conventional advice that's often given when it comes to marriage counseling. But after you get over the "but that can't be right" feeling, there's a lot to be said for her approach.
   
   Content:
   Part 1 - What Is Spiritual Partnership?: Introducing Spiritual Partnership; Loving Action 1 - Adopt a Spirit of Good Will; LA 2 - Give Up Problem Solving; LA 3 - Act as If; LA 4 - Practice Restraint; LA 5 - Balance Giving and Taking; LA 6 - Act on Your Own; LA 7 - Practice Acceptance; LA 8 - Practice Compassion
   Part 2 - Putting Spiritual Partnership to Work in Your Relationship: Exactly How to Use the Eight Loving Actions; Frequently Asked Questions; Communication Within Spiritual Partnership; Making Mature Judgments
   Part 3 - Spiritual Partnership in a Broader Context: Defining the "Spiritual" in Spiritual Partnership; The Future of Spiritual Partnership
   References and Further Reading; About the Author
   
   Most self-help books related to marriage dwell on communication... the give and take of negotiation. Page contends that the approach is more adversarial in nature, and basically tries to change something you have no control over: the other person. Instead, she suggests that taking responsibility for yourself and your own actions is much more effective in the long run, as you *can* control yourself. The actions are centered around what's referred to as a "spiritual practice", or the act of looking at your day-to-day interactions as an exercise of your spiritual nature. If you are focusing on making yourself into the best person you can be, then changes in the other person will also flow. These actions, also called experiments, are designed to help you learn what works and what doesn't in your relationship. If you try something and it doesn't work, that's good as you've learned something you didn't know before. It's a different approach to what you normally think of as marriage or relationship counseling, but I can see where it would have benefits over the standard "talk it out" approach.
   
   Where I tend to have issues is with the focus on "if it's authentic for you, it's right" ethic. In this book, she feels that learning you're not right for your mate and splitting is as good an outcome as becoming closer. If you feel that there *are* moral and ethical absolutes, then some of the underlying foundations of what's in here won't resonate with you. Still, looking at the actions and the mindset of "change yourself before trying to change others" has some real value. I've personally always felt that trying to elicit change in others to suit your own self is chancy at best, and futile in most cases...
   
   Definitely worth a read and consideration if the "I gave up something, now why won't they do the same" path isn't working for you...



4. I like the way the book is laid out and written. It's easy to follow and the exercises are easy to practice on your own. I read half of it in one sitting without even trying to.
   I came across this book while looking for books on divorce in the library. I wish I would have found this before my spouse left me. We both are guilty of "stage 2" and not balancing our lives. I've tried a few of these on my own before but the results didn't stick. I wasn't aware of the depth to the concepts.
   This should be a gift to every newlywed couple.



5. As a communication and relationship educator, I am familiar with the importance of having effective communication skills in our relationships. Susan Page has opened the door to a whole new perspective of how to make changes in your relationships when communication skills are not effective and often make the problems worse. Susan reminds us of the importance of our own actions and taking responsibility for our own behaviors and how simple experiments can be life changing for us. I highly recommend this book to my clients and to my colleagues in the mental health field.
   Connie Muller-Thym, LCSW-C
   Resolution Services, Inc.
   Mediation, Counseling, Coaching and Training

5 comments about If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules.

1. This book was presented to me when I was already on my deliberate conscious path. If I would have read this book when I first begun my journey perhaps it would have resulted in having even more clarity to work with. But either way, the book is a must read for those who desire to move forward int their lives.
   
   Al Diaz - Author
   www.theonlyoption.net



2. Wow. This lady does present some interesting ideas. A different way of looking at life but makes good sense to me.



3. This is a great book. The used book option is fantastic choice. I have used this option several times and have always been satisfied with the experience.
   This particular book is an easy read, and is suitable for most!



4. A friend recommended this book, and I must say that I was skeptical at first, because the design makes it looks like a nice little "coffee table" book. I have read over 100 self-help books and feel extremely qualified to rate this book in an educated way.
   
   This has easily become one of the best books on the subject.
   
   I have a habit of highlighting important material so that when I want to go back I can re-read things, and this book is now a MESS of highlights.
   
   I went and read all of the 1 and 2 star ratings, and I frankly can't believe them. All of those people want a book with THEIR rules for life in it, and judged the book on what they wanted it to say. That's what little minds do.
   
   This book is wonderful, and I hope I come across more with such depth.
   
   This is going on my top list- I really think this is a phenomenal book, and I hope the author gets it out to everyone.



5. This is a great book. Is there anything new here? Not really however the presentation made good sense and the practicality of the advice was relevant to my own life and it might be for yours also.