5 comments about Measurement of Joint Motion: A Guide to Goniometry 3rd Edition.

1. I got an earlier edition of this book in Physical Therapy school and it was invaluable in teaching the finer points of goniometry. I constantly used it as a source of information, until I became comfortable with measuring joint range of motion. Since I am now working in the inpatient arena, I mostly repeatedly measure knees, but refer back to it when I need to brush up on another joint. It has clear pictures and overall is a great reference book for anyone who has to evaluate joint ranges of motion.



2. This is an excellent as easily describes how to do ROM of all sorts of joints. A great book for a student and practitioner that needs to look up the more obscure joints. It has tables as well for normal ROM. You can't go wrong with this one.



3. I had to buy 3 text books for a kinesiology class and this one is my favorite. It covers the hands-on portion of kinesiology and is very easy to interpret.



4. This is an excellent reference book for the classes that I am taking. It is very detailed.



5. This is a new study for me and I am learning as I read. A bit technical, but I expected that. Would like to have an expert work with me to make the process managable. Most of my clients, I am massage therapist, don't see the need for the measurements, but I know that it helps me. I learn as I go.

5 comments about Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery.

1. This is one of my favorite reference books. Without getting all detailed about the contents, because the book description is accurate enough, I can say that this book has helped me many times in dealings with difficult people and also in analyzing my own behavior. I have never seen a personality profiling book so accurate before. I have never found an instance where I have not been able to classify someone as one of the 9 personality types with the correct "wing". Go get this book, if you are at all curious about how people work and what motivates them.



2. Don Riso is one of the key figures and innovators in the field of Enneagram studies. This is not the first of his books (and here he has partnered with Russ Hudson), nor is it the most recent, but it does represent refinement and improvement over his earlier works. There are several other authors who have written books on the Enneagram, but I don't think anyone else has done it as well. Riso is a highly articulate guy who doesn't sugar coat things, and reading his descriptions of personality types such as the average or unhealthy three is a bit unsettling. I'd say he has, for better or worse, great insight into human nature. A minor criticism is that I disagree with his classification of certain famous people, although in most cases he seems to get it right. Anyone interested in personality and human behavior in general will find this a fascinating read. Author of Adjust Your Brain: A Practical Theory for Maximizing Mental Health



3. First of all, let me say that I don't think you will come across a more accurate and useful personality typology system than the Enneagram. It offers the reader much more as far as self-awareness and possibilities for personal growth than the Myers Briggs. In other words, it's a much more complete system. Why? Because not only do you get a description of your personality type, but you can understand how two people of the same type can be so incredibly different. Levels of development, wings and direction of integration and disintegration create a vast array of levels of functioning among members of the same type. If you don't know what those terms mean, I trust the other reviewers have covered them, or you just might want to read the book. It's not difficult to understand at all.
   
   I do have a small complaint: I felt that the authors made some generalizations without qualifying their information. For example, I clearly identified myself as a type 4 with a 5 wing. However, according to Riso and Hudson, part of the reason I am a four is because I was not nurtured by my parents. Not true at all. I have a very loving relationship with my parents. I felt abused by peers at school and certain teachers but never my parents. Riso and Hudson don't say "sometimes, 4's will have tenuous relationships with their parents"; they said something like "4's felt like their parents were not there for them and consequently, they had to construct and search for their identity". I would be surprised if every single 4 on the face of the earth had a bad relationship with his or her parents so I think it's slightly irresponsible to make such a blatant generalization without having research to back it up. Moreover, I found many generalizations like this throughout the book that didn't even pertain to my type. Sloppy research on the part of the authors.
   
   However, the authors do a very good job of explaining the types in great detail. I just wish they would have strayed away from some of the overgeneralizations.



4. I have several books by the same author(s) from 1987 on. This one, after 1987, is an excellent update and contains wonderful charts and scientific data and insights. Also good is the 2000 or so update of this one which has its own unique perspectives and charts. All are worth reading.



5. The author is sincere and direct to the point. To avoid every illusion, he warns his readers that the book is not "a typical self-help book" and therefore, does not "promise miracle." The fact that the author makes no presumption, makes it possible for him to be down to earth and therefore, convincing. The question whether Enneagram makes sense or not, is a question ones needs to answer after going through the book and after having understood his/her personality type. The only proof of Enneagram's accuracy is to have identified your own personality. And I think this is itself a miracle. The historical survey of Enneagram is objective. Personally, I found the book very useful. Discover your self by discovering the contents of this book. Spend your money for it and you will earn a lot because this book is very illuminating.

5 comments about When Food Is Love: Exploring the Relationship Between Eating and Intimacy (Plume).

1. I am not known for my reading abilities but this was an "easy" read!
   Sometimes, Geneen seemed to go into a lot of "personal" stories that might seem like she was losing tract of the purpose of her book. I was often able to see the reason behind it as she was trying to drive a point across by relating her stories (and others') so that the reader can see the relationship between food and love. Overall, I think there were some very good points that she brought out that I never would have seen or thought of had it not been for this book.



2. Wow,wow,wow. I purchased this book because it was suggested to me from a friend about a year ago I finally bought it and I am so glad I did. I am a very skeptical person when it comes to self help books, but I have to say this wasn't a self help book at all. Roth makes you truly examine yourself by sharing her story and then asking questions that make you think about why we do the things we do (eat). What feelings are we surpressing? THIS BOOK IS NOT A "HOW TO GUIDE" - it just tells her story and other people stories and I bet anyone could find a piece of themselves in this book. It was funny and light hearted, not drab and psychological. I loved it so much I couldn't put it down and I ended up ordering 2 more of her books - Breaking Free of Emotional & Compulsive Eating.
   
   If nothing else, the book is a great read. I highly recommend it.



3. Buy this book. Geneen Roth is an insightful writer who gives personal experience along with client experiences to reveal issues of her own yet relate it to others. Excellent.



4. Geneen has great insight in to why we overeat and what is behind the whole thing.
   She uses real life stories from her life and others to help you see that we are not so differant after all and you can change.



5. My nutritionist gave me this book. Then I bought a copy. Then I bought a copy for five of my friends and family. This book is not about food. This book is about intimacy, fear, grief, and relating to yourself and others in your life. Roth uses her own life experiences and her specific relationship problems and food problems as a basis for this book, but in reading about her own insights, anyone can see themself in this book. If you've ever felt hopeless because you can't keep the weight off, you can't pay down your credit card debt, you can't make a relationship work that should work - this book might help you see how inter-connected your life is. Roth is insightful and writes in a way that is easy to read and draws you in.

5 comments about Gateways to Now (Inner Life Series).

1. Even though I love to read, because of a life long engagement with ADD and insomnia,it is not often easy to obsorb or retain the contents of any book let alone one such as this. One that requires serious contemplation and quiet reflection. However I found this book to provide,a meaningful metamorphosis to this mecurial mind, a soothing serenity to my secluded spirit, and a sedative to my oft troubled soul, things that I seldom enjoy. I completely agree with many of his points, such as the eternal nature of our Spirits. Also the concept that all living things have presence and Spirits. In fact I have I personally found that while riding my bicycle in the nearby mountains(for me by keeping my body active seems to quiet this overactive mind)I can actually hear and feel the presence of life forms around me especially durring early spring mornings. On several occcassions I hold my hands close to the long grasses, trees, or whatever life form is near and feel it's energy and each ones' very discerable Spirit/presence, which is exciting to be part of. Additionally on such mornings it seems that the annimals, insects,etc. do not fear me and will often come out and seemingly greet me. They know I come in peace and love, with an appreciation for each of them and their Creator. It is also interesting to note that most of the indiginous peoples of the earth were very much in tune with all this. I believe this book can help all of us get in touch with the spiritual side of all that exists on this planet. It sure makes it a much more interesting and beautiful place to live!!A New Earth



2. This CD has some techniques discussed by Tolle to perceive inner space. They require some repeated practice for those not familiar with meditation, but seem to work fine. The music is a minor distraction.



3. I have listened to most of
   E. Tolle's book on cd and especially loved this one for the 2nd cd. I find his message powerful and important in todays world. This set contains the best meditative music I have ever heard. I'm sure I lent it out and never got it back, so for the very powerful music in this set I am reordering....very well worth it!



4. I was a little disappointed to see just two disc in the case when there were 8 for the book. The second disc is all music. This book pulls out one of the most important points from his book "A New Earth " which is "Staying in the Now". I listen to the music CD on the train or just before I got to bed to help me relax. This book is a nice compliment to his other books.



5. I was interested in listening to Eckhart Tolle speak and this was advertised as a 2 CD set. However, while Mr. Tolle's voice was strong, fascinating and convincing...he lectures on only one of the CDs and the second CD is only the music used in the interlude between "chapters" of his lectures on the first CD. So it was more music than education and I was disappointed.
   The only plus is that now that I am reading his books....I can still recall what his voice would sound like as I read his words.

5 comments about The Impulse Factor: Why Some of Us Play It Safe and Others Risk It All.

1. Based in the context of genetics and psychology, The Impulse Factor, is a great tool for understanding risk and risk aversion. Nick Tasler used years of research to illustrate why it's easier for some to take risks than others and whether or not risk takers are more successful than non risk takers in business.
   
   Business professionals can benefit from The Impulse Factor as a tool for understanding how and why different people, including themselves, either make or don't make risky decisions. By reading Tasler's book, people, despite their innate tendencies, can learn to make better decisions thus improving their chances of success.



2. It's in the genes.
   So says Nick Tasler, author of The Impulse Factor
   Those who are cautious look at the impulsive and think they are reckless. Those who are impulsive look at the cautious and wonder why they can't make a decision.
   And now Tasler links impulsivity to a lack of MAO in the brain.
   More specifically Tasler sums that impulsivity is at least in part due to a gene mutation that alters the way some people's brains handle dopamine, thus causing people to be Darwin Award winners, sexaholics and a host of other negative behaviors and life patterns.
   Meanwhile the non-mutant (my word not Tasler's) is the cautious one.
   And there are a lot more of the cautious variety on the planet.
   
   More interesting is Tasler's uncovering of the fact that about 1/2 of people diagnosed with ADHD have the novelty seeking gene.
   
   Tasler makes it clear that there are obvious benefits and drawbacks of being one of those who seek novelty. Sometimes you get what you jump for and other times you become a Darwin Award recipient.
   
   Next Tasler points out an interesting distinction of impulsive behavior. It's not so much ignoring the risk, he says, it's more about the focus on the reward.
   
   If that sounds like a stereotypical teenager, you're probably hearing right....
   
   Meanwhile cautious people behave impulsively to keep up with the group.
   
   Tasler's brilliant book is even handed and offers wisdom for "potential seekers" and others. You'll have to pick up the book to get the details.
   
   Kevin Hogan
   Author of Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism



3. This was a great study into how impulsive decisions are developed based on your personality type, the impulsive tendencies and how it effects how people make decisions. The study is really useful at disecting impulse decision making, knowing the blueprint into impulse helps the reader benefit in making really productive and successful impulse decisions. I really liked the idea that impulsive decisions can have a positive even successful result similar to the idea in BLINK; since the norm is to treat impulsive decisions as negative and bad decisions.



4. Usually I enjoy books that explain psychological patterns so Impulse Factor was a natural for me to choose. Mostly I enjoyed the book, especially Tasler's summary of psychological studies. There's not a lot of novelty: if you've taken a social psych course, especially at the graduate level, you'll recognize the classics.
   
   Other reviewers have identified the book's many virtues, so I will focus on two quibbles.
   
   First, I am cautious about the influence of personality traits. Some personality theorists emphasize that trait are more like dispositions -- i.e., tendencies to respond that can change depending on the situation. And I believe people do change fundamentally over time.
   
   More important, I believe Tasler defines "impulse" very broadly. His first example -- rescue squad members who decide to race down a dangerous hill -- seems to fit the definition. I view a dieter's decision to order a big piece of chocolate cake as giving in to impulse.
   
   But I think we can differentiate risk taking tendencies and non-conformity from impulsivity. We can distinguish impulsivity as a trait from impulsive decisions. I also think we have to differentiate intuitive decisions from impulsive decisions, especially in business. Often what seems to be an impulsive decision is actually grounded in experience. Malcolm Gladwell's Blink shows how on-the-spot decisions often are grounded in deep experience.
   
   That's probably why Tasler ultimately concludes the most successful visionaries combine traits of potential seekers and risk managers. I suspect many of us tend to move quickly in situations where we have experience to guide us. And as Tasler suggests (in more elegant language), when forced to make a decision with incomplete information, we need to ask, "What's the worst outcome scenario?"
   
   Despite these quibbles, I would recommend the book enthusiastically -- except for the book's ties to a commercial consulting firm. Appendix A appears to be a guide to the proprietary test -- essentially a commercial.



5. Mostly I guess, I'm a bit shocked. This is exactly the sort of book that I love and I guess, had forgotten about, because all sorts of wonderful feelings came flooding back to me as I started getting deeper into it. I hate saying this but I think Malcomb may have lulled me to sleep without me even realizing it. This book on the other hand, popped me back to coherence.
   
   This is a seriously splendid book.
   Thank you sir, for reminding me why I love thinking.
   
   -Sarah Shikitao-Brown,
   Tao Cycle Therapy: Natural Happiness via Self Directed Cure for Chronic Anxiety & Depression [Updated 2008 3nd Edition]

5 comments about Who Moved My Cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life.

1. This book is handed out by corporate scoundrels (drones) to nice people (workers) in yet another heinous, greed-driven, hubristic attempt to repress the American worker.
   
   In fact, that's the very reason for the "popularity" of this egregious handful of pure trash. Corporations buy millions of volumes of this mind-bender to hand out to unsuspecting employees for "training" (brainwashing).
   
   I'll confess that this HAS to be the most shrewdly-written piece of propaganda ever committed to paper. Goebbels would have been proud of such a handbook of Centrist, self-serving, excusado of corporate treachery! *.*
   
   It's all about making decent, hard-working employees manifest a great horror and a personal fear of losing their jobs, therefore requiring an undeserved respect for rotten corporate employers, accepting much less than they're entitled to for their hard work. This thing would have Exxon employees genuflecting to their CEO for his devoted environmental concerns!
   
   I gave this book ONE STAR, only because it's not an option to give it less than ZERO!
   
   NOT RECOMMENDED!



2. I had forgotten what a great read this book was. I first read this book about nine years ago when I was going through a bad spot financially it had the desired effect and since then it sat on the bookshelf in my study, my eight year old daughter was going through a bad patch at school so, I dusted it off and sat down with both my girls and read them the story. What a reminder of how your mind plays tricks on us and how we can be our own worst enemy by holding on to the baggage of the past and not moving with opportunities. When things change so should we.
   So, you feel like you're in a rut grab yourself a coffee find a quite spot and sit down and read Who moved My Cheese.



3. I have heard about this book for many years but somehow never read it. I went through it recently and think it's a very easy-to-read book. The idea the author wants to express is straightforward and inspirational. It's a tiny story so I finish the book in very short time. But the idea the book talked about remains very clear in my mind. I should say that means the author really did a good job.
   
   I like it and recommend it.



4. The laborious, trite and utterly useless content in this book really makes one wonder just who ACTUALLY needs things like this. The values, concepts, etc. covered in the book should be known, understood and well accepted by the time one reaches, at the latest, 10 years of age. As for the corporate aspect of things: it is absolutely insulting and doesn't even qualify as "half-truth".
   
   There is a wide variety of thought-provoking, conversation-inspiring and life-changing books out there written on similar topics. However, unlike this book, they are written in an adult, intelligent style. This book treats the reader like a child and provides no real "meat" to think about/discuss.
   
   I would highly recommend reading some other books that ride on a much more foundation of intelligence, but ones that go beyond mere acceptance and discuss some of the psychological and sociological aspects of the world.
   
   Too put it shorty:
   There's nothing to learn from this childish trash unless there really is something EXTREMELY wrong with your understanding of the world.
   
   Don't insult yourself.



5. Cheese - this is the most intriguing metaphor I've ever seen! I still have no idea why Spencer Johnson used that, but it seems to me that he used Cheese as means of social skills or flexibility. I guess we must get rid of our old cheese to adapt to any changes. Otherwise, we will be likely to be left behind or social loners.
   According to this book, 2 mice, Sniff and Scurry were sophisticated enough to get new Cheese. On the other hand, 2 Littlepeople, Hem and Haw got agitated because the Cheese at Cheese Station C, where they felt comfortable, disappeared out of the blue. At first, they gradually ran out of their energies, not knowing what to do next. However, Haw began to think twice as he wrote the messages on each wall for Hem. Therefore, Haw got back on his feet again and found New Cheese at Cheese Station N, where he could be friends with Sniff and Scurry! What happened to Hem? He was so stubborn that he dwelled on Cheese Station C, where no cheese existed.
   Unfortunately, nobody can tell whether Hem would change his mind. But everybody in this story would feel happier, if Hem decided to get New Cheese instead of sticking to Old one! Anyway, I'd say no one can promise what you have is always useful forever, because everything changes in the world.

5 comments about Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You.

1. I don't know if you'll take the advice in this book, but you should read it. How can you not read a book buy a gay British guy who both impersonates Queen Elizabeth and quotes Flava Flav?
   
   Okay, some of the advice you shouldn't take. Ignore the permission to wear "a gold leotard with your lesbian aunt Sylvia's mauve nylon fanny pack." Unless you live in NYC, people will talk about you and not in a good way. At least they will if you live in Southwest Michigan.
   
   Still, Doonan is hilarious. I laughed out loud several times and that's not normally true of fashion books. Okay, not true of any books, but most fashion books take themselves so seriously.
   
   Interspersed with stories and interviews with Glamorous Eccentrics is bits of advice, some of which I might actually take. For example: I collect handbags, totebags, etc as I'm always in search of the perfect bag. Doonan thinks that a woman - at least a Glamour Eccentric, one of which I think I am not, should only have one great bag that she takes everywhere. He encourages a person to buy the Hermes Birkin bag they are coveting. That is advice I might take! Of course, chances are good I'll buy a knock off first and see if I really like that style, etc before I save up TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to buy one of the damned things. Still, I covet that bag.
   
   Doonan is kind to his reader. He reminds the reader that you are a work in progress and to be patient with oneself.
   
   An example of the things that made me laugh:
   These are some of the things that made me laugh: (they are all direct quotes from the book.)
   
   * I am pro-pot dealer: the arrival of a mysterious and attractive criminal adds a memorable frisson of excitement to any occasion.
   
   Doonan dispenses relationship advice that will either work or get you divorced more quickly. There are bits of wisdom that would be helpful to all of us, regardless of whether we are glamorous or eccentric. Sadly, I suspect I'm neither. For example, "alluring" is not cheap & tawdry. To paraphrase Doonan, it's timeless, it's beautiful and sensual. Alluring is "irresistible charm, which ever fails to mesmerize the viewer, regardless of gender."
   
   I can't decide if this is a "fashion book" or a "self-help book" but it's definitely an entertaining book and I highly recommend it.



2. I am a bit of a fashion and style guide junkie. OK. More than a bit. I have read them all, looking for that perfect explanation of what to buy to be impeccably in style. And Simon Doonan has solved my problem. Buy what I want- as long as it is unexpected and makes me happy. Or buy nothing and make my clothes from poodle fur. A "to thine own self be true" for the style challenged! Not only did the book make me laugh, it made me look at my safe wardrobe choices and want to throw them out the window and dress only in gold lame'. I hope Mr. Doonan is pleased with himself.



3. Simon, i wish you were my boyfriend. You are so flippin' right about everything all the time! Thank you for the book. mwah!



4. i guess you were in Dallas recently and people didnt like you. I loved your book you were genius. Come to Dallas again and I will tell you about meeting Bette Davis at IMagnin in LA.



5. I found this book in the library and absolutely loved it. Simon is my new best friend (although he doesn't know it)! I can't wait for his next book. This one was full of creative ideas that I felt set me free from the fashion constriction of most magazines. Free to dress individually yet maintain a sense of style and glamour. Great, fun book! You should buy it!!

5 comments about Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship.

1. Emotional Infidelity focuses on strengthening and healing marriages, but it helped me through the first two years of accepting and healing after my ex-husband's multiple emotional and physical workplace affairs. I purchased this book the day after I found out about my ex's last affair. Hindsight is 20/20, and the scenarios in this book were a blueprint of the last 2 years of my marriage: phone calls at home from "co-workers", working late at the office, and driving to the office in the middle of the night to take care of "security alarm" calls. I read several books to help get through the painful breakup, and Emotional Infidelity was the most insighful and practical book on emotional (and physical) affairs I found. My marriage was over, but reading the book encouraged me to focus on my own strength without my ex.



2. a great book, a must read for everyone who has thought about marriage or is in a marriage.



3. Thank you, Gary Neuman, for graciously expressing the heart of the marriage promise...and how certain assumptions weasel their way between spouses and reduce what should be the most profound and requiting relationship of one's life to merely a working arrangement between acquaintances or worse, divorce. I wish more counselors would read this book...and quit trying to fix the deeper problems of troubled marriages by advising us how to "fight fair", "communicate effectively" and "discover your own sense of identity." This book is on target about how spouses waste their energy on others instead of protecting and investing themselves in one another. Also of note: Great practical guidelines for men and women to follow if they want to have a marriage - and reputation - of integrity!



4. The opening of Stanley Kubrick's last film, "Eyes Wide Shut," presents the depiction of contemporary marital relationship enlightenment: A well-educated upper middle class couple go to a Christmas party where, individually, the husband and the wife are approached by members of the opposite sex. The husband has meaningless banter with two women and the wife shares conversation and a dance with an older man. The husband's encounter is interrupted when his services as a doctor are required by the party's host, a rich man having an affair virtually under his wife's nose, and the wife counters her dancing partner's increasingly suggestive advances by holding up her hand, displaying her marital band, and stating ". . . I'm married."
   Soon after, the wife needles her husband with his actions at the party, asking what he did with the two women who approached him, while the man asks about "that guy you were dancing with." This prologue triggers a psychological odyssey by both partners wherein they ultimately come to realize, perhaps with tragic insufficiency, that they have been playing with each others feelings while being almost completely unaware of their own motivations.
   
   Gary Neuman's book similarly delves into the psyche of its readers, challenging us to examine our own encounters with members of the opposite sex. He asks us to question what it is we are honestly looking for when we meet or speak with someone outside of our primary relationship, and he doesn't allow us to get ourselves "off the hook" easily.
   
   Unfortunately several critical reviews of this book border on naivete. I don't see where the author is suggesting that strong emotional ties can't exist outside of a committed relationship. The danger comes when, in such a relationship, people lack the self-awareness to understand, if not their own motivations, those of the person they have developed such a bond with. People often trick themselves, wittingly or unwittingly, into believing that an emotional attachment outside of their primary relationship is healthy when, in fact, it is taking time and attention from one's committed partner. One need only look at the divorce rate to understand that there is a serious problem with commitment and fidelity in our current society, and, as statistics prove, those who stray often do so with someone they have developed a previously platonic bond with.
   
   Vigilance needs to be the catch-word in one's relationships with anyone outside of a primary relationship; vigilance in assessing one's own motivations as well as those of the supposedly platonic partner. I have witnessed numerous instances of people who, although open with their spouses about their own intentions and dealings with a friend, are completely unaware of the friend's true intentions (which can change and grow over time). Things to consider: Is the friend in a committed relationship or single (and does the friend's own significant partner, if any, know of and approve of this alliance)? Does the primary partner know of the friendship in all detail? Has the committed partner met this friend and approve of the friendship? A very important thing to determine is how the primary partner assesses the actions of the friend, either in meeting him or her for the first time, or over the tenor of the friendship. Being a man, I've seen male "friends" exhibit territorial behavior when the spouse or significant other is on the scene. An extremely important observation for this spouse to make is how does one's partner react when concerns about the "friend" are raised? For example, are the spouse's observations about the "friend" valued or dismissed? I have observed numerous relationships wherein the legitimate concerns of one's committed partner are downplayed or discarded, and often with the retort that such comments indicate that the partner concerned about the friendly relationship is "controlling" or "jealous" (ie, "you don't want me to have friends"), or that any problem down the road can be contained ("whatever my friend's motivations, mine are pure"). A similar comment to be aware of is "I'm not doing anything wrong, and I'm not responsible for how the other person ultimately reacts."
   
   In recommending Neuman's book, I made an observation to a friend recently, a single woman, who told me that she often sought the company of married men for conversation because "they were safe" (ie, in a committed relationship and, therefore, unlikely to make advances on her) that it was very likely the men were acting, as Neuman would say, in an emotionally unfaithful manner with their respective marital partners by engaging with an unmarried woman. I saw where at least one of these men became territorial when this single woman was approached or spoke with other men, all but looking on more than one occasion to cut them off. In speaking further with this woman, I learned that her conversations went beyond the ordinary everyday, and that she was openly speaking with these married men about issues she was encountering with the men in her dating life. As Neuman would say, these men had no business advising anyone about anything, as they weren't professionals, and were endangering their own relationships by speaking with a single woman about her intimate life.
   
   Shortly thereafter, this woman confided to me that she had run into one of these married men who she had spoken to individually at least a few days a week for several months when he was out one day with his children. When she went up to him to say hello, thinking he would introduce her to his kids, he became distant, as if he didn't want his family to see her. She then got the "hint" that this man was keeping his encounters with her, and his conversations with her, as part of a private life he did not share with his wife and family, and that he wanted to keep it that way.
   
   I told her that, contrary to the belief of many, married men (and women) are not "safe." They are, instead, married, and their practice of engaging with an opposite sex partner about intimate personal details outside of their marriage was a patent form of infidelity.
   
   Often these alliances outside of one's primary relationship indicate that the one in the friendship is "seeking something," and is not an indication of problems or issues with one's significant other, but rather of a lack with oneself. Often such "friendships" are entered into for the sake of vanity, with the participants liking the attention they receive. Occasionally they are a means of domination and control, both of one's primary partner, and of the "friends". I have observed where people have, through their own actions and comments, all but invited inappropriate advances or overtures (overt or tacit) from the friend, only to retreat behind the maxim "you know I'm married (or in a relationship) and that things can't progress." This person gets the psychic charge they "need" from this advance, while, likely, causing significant upset in the primary relationship. One's committed partner needs to be especially vigilant about patterns that the partner in these friendships exhibits.
   
   And something to be especially aware of is the fact that the supposedly platonic advance is a means of exploiting the proverbial "chink" in the armor of someone in a committed relationship.
   
   Also, even "enlightened" (ie, psychologically astute, self-aware) people can trick themselves into misunderstanding their own motivations, as well as thinking themselves above forming an inappropriate relationship with a friend.
   
   A question anyone needs to ask themselves in forming a bond outside of their primary relationship is "why?" What is the purpose of this relationship, and what are both parties getting out of it? I have seen innoucous work and commuting relationships disrupt, damage and destroy relationships and marriages and, invariably, these start as little more than two people passing the time by speaking of common interests.
   
   Something to always remember is that, with work and other commitments, the time one spends with one's primary partner is extremely limited. I often counsel people, at work, on the commute, or while travelling on business, that, instead of having what appears to be innocuous chit-chat with a "friend", to spend this "down time" on the primary relationship. Pick up the phone or write a letter or e-mail to the significant other, or, most significantly, take time to write a journal entry about this supposed "friend" and one's own motivations (or journal about one's signifiant other).
   
   Accordingly, I applaud the author's commitment to his primary relationship, and especially that he limits new opposite sex encounters to little beyond "shaking hands." This is hardly, as some reviewers claim, limiting one's experience to "half of the population," but is, instead, a discipline that people should themselves try before denouncing. I experimented with this myself on numerous occasions and found that limiting my encounters with members of the opposite sex to the proverbial "business at hand" made such encounters more productive and respectful than those of my associates who engaged in "chit-chat" under the same circumstances.
   
   Over time, Kubrick's brilliant film "Eyes Wide Shut" will be seen as the cinematic symbol of supposed twenty-first century enlightenment. As the characters all but state to each other at the end, "No dream is ever just a dream," and very little is ever what, on the surface, it appears to be.



5. This book has been mistitled. It's not just about emotional infidelity. It's about a whole lot more. The first chapter is the only part of the book that deals with what Neuman calls emotional infidelity - that is giving your time and attention to someone of the opposite gender who is not your spouse. I whole heartedly agree with his position. You can't split your attention. You have to be very careful how you treat people of the opposite sex because no one intends to do anything, and it always "just happens." Neuman's plan is that you focus your attention on your spouse so that you are so busy with your spouse you don't have the inclination to give anyone of the opposite sex the time to worm their way into your life - in the place where your spouse should be.
   
   The rest of the book is a marriage manual for how to create a great marriage. And Neuman is honest: it takes a lot of work. You have to put a lot of energy into creating the marriage that you want. And both of you have to participate. Neuman includes good exercises that helps people who may not know exactly what to give their spouses or who do not know exactly what their spouse wants from them. He also writes about dealing with children in a marriage and how the marriage must come first.
   
   This book is for good marriages and for any marriage that is in trouble. If you grew up in the US, you have emotional baggage that you need to recognize and deal with, so you can use the information in this book to make your marriage better no matter how good it is right now.
   
   One thing I did appreciate was that Neuman took the cheating partner to task and remonstrated him or her for their bad behavior and told them that it was their responsiblity for what they had done. He should have done that in The Truth About Cheating. I enjoyed this book much better than his new one. I felt that he expected the guilty spouse to take more responsibility in this volume.

5 comments about Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want.

1. I had heard really good reviews of this book from many people I respect for their life vision and general success. It was a quick read, and while I'm not usually a big consumer of the self-help genre, I found it had a lot of very practical applications that helped me get a bit closer to discovering just what it is that I can contribute to this planet. I was reading Erckhart Tolle's A New Earth, which was a great primer in basic Buddhist concepts, but which I found didn't quite deliver on the promise of its subtitle: Awakening to your life's purpose. It did perhaps help to prepare me and make me more open to finding Wishcraft, which did a pretty good job of digging deep and really directing me toward the discovery and acceptance of myself as a creative person, and in turn, that creativity is a gift to share with the world and not stuff down in favor of more "practical," "useful," work. I found the emphasis on childhood and over bearing parents to be a bit much -- maybe because I come from the apparently rare position of having been encouraged to pursue my creative side from a very young age, but decided independently that it was too frivolous and self-indulgent to make my life's goal. I am grateful for my personal journey beyond my talents and into worlds that have only served to reinforce that I am indeed supposed to exercise my creativity. Wishcraft has some great tools that helped me take this realization to the next step, to decide exactly what it is I need to do to make my creative side an active part of my everyday life.



2. A wonderful book to aid anyone in the process of discovering who they are and how to find a path to their dreams. Barbara gives lots of positive reinforcement, but is surprisingly practical. By the time I had filtered through numerous chapters of discovery exercises, I was exhausted. I wasn't sure I would really find the focus I needed to define myself and articulate the next phase of my life. However, when I got to the chapter on defining "touchstones" the homework paid off and I found something at my core that defined everything I wanted in my life. Hats off to Barbara for her humor, style, and wisdom to make the process so enjoyable. Bravo!



3. I've had one or more copies of this book for the past 30 years, and regularly give them as gifts to friends and colleagues. Barbara Sher combines practical advice, rock-solid analysis, and some inner searching to create a system for success that can't fail. No positive thinking necessary: just follow the steps, do the exercises...and dream BIG!



4. I first read Wishcraft in the early 1980s and have read it several times since then, and it changed the way I live my life. I've consistently gone after my dreams and accomplished big goals, and I credit this to the approach I learned in Wishcraft about how to identify what I wanted and move through resistance. Wishcraft encourages us to put complete trust in our dreams and get support along the way so that we're able to keep taking steps forward. The tone is down-to-earth, encouraging and wise. The book is filled with amazing exercises that help people get really clear about their goals, and also feel brave and encouraged. I've bought this book for countless friends, and everyone loved it.
   Wishcraft offers support and ideas that really work, and is in striking contrast to the many self-help books out there that seem flaky to me.
   If I could own only one self-help book, it would definitely be Wishcraft.



5. Wishcraft was written in 1979. I was a young mother from a blue-collar
   family, with a 2-year-old son, and another one on the way. Up until
   then, I had worked at various jobs, mostly in accounting, which I
   hated with a passion.
   
   Laid off from my part-time accounting job with an insurance company
   (They could "tell" I wasn't happy there.), I was looking for a new
   direction. I'm not sure now how I became aware of "Wishcraft", but I
   bought it and it made me think differently about life and jobs.
   
   It had never occurred to me that you could get a job without having
   all of the formal credentials required. I liked that way of thinking!
   There were so many things I wanted to do!
   
   So I went to the Virginia Unemployment office, and began reading job
   descriptions of things that I'd like to do, whether I was qualified to
   do them or not.
   
   I saw a part-time teaching job, working with CETA students (in this
   case, high-school dropouts with kids) to teach them Data Entry.
   I had once *done* data entry, so I figured I could teach it! So I took the listing to the agent and asked them to call the place and see if they would take "experience" in lieu of a teaching degree. The guy looked at me funny, but made the call, and they said "Sure - send her over."
   
   And that's where my teaching / training career began. It's wandered
   all over the place over the last 30 years, and 14 years ago I started
   my own technical training company, and went on to teach overseas and
   at several "real" colleges.
   
   I believe in my heart that if I had not read "Wishcraft" I would have
   ended up typing for someone else for a living, and my kids would have
   had far fewer opportunities in life.
   
   Instead, my oldest came to work for me, as a trainer. As a technical trainer, he's been able to travel to Europe and Australia. Nowadays, he's a senior Oracle database administrator, but he still loves to teach, so he often tutors friends in a make-shift classroom in his basement.
   
   My youngest is a web architect in San Francisco, as well as a
   world-class athlete representing the USA in competitions in South
   Africa and England.
   
   So the path my life took changed, and resulted in my children's lives
   changing -- and hopefully the future generations that will follow us
   -- all because Barbara Sher took a risk and wrote a book, based on some
   workshops that weren't making any money.
   
   Is it any wonder that I am in awe of her?
   
   Every 30 years or so, she comes into my life -- and changes everything.

5 comments about Your Best Life Now for Moms (Faithwords).

1. A must for mum's to be.New and old mum's alike. As a grandmother to be I was enlightened by the information within this book. An easy read. Encourage women of all ages to buy it inspirational.Good solid teachings



2. I just sent this book to my Mom for Mother's Day and she's already raving about it!



3. I originally picked this up at Sam's Club, while I was waiting for my tires....I read the whole thing in an hour. Went back to get more for Mother's Day Gifts and they were sold out. Love the book!



4. This is a perfect version of Joel's ideas in a form that busy moms can realize.



5. Daily life of being a mom and working full-time can really wear you down, but this book is very uplifting and encouraging! Basic principle - You ARE the mom you THINK you are. If you think positive, things will work out much better than if you let your thoughts focus on the negative.