5 comments about The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life.

1. This book talks about how to manage your life, whether you get out of a verbally abusive relationship or not. However, I really think any book dealing with the subject should also include information on how to escape a harmful relationship. This book is excellent at identifying the problem, and giving realistic ways of dealing with yourself. But no one can survive constant crushing blows to their spirit, self-esteem, and identities forever. If one becomes aware, one must make a change.



2. I have read several books on verbally abusive relationships and I had to put this one down half way through, because like a previous reviewer stated it really does put too much blame on the victim. I would not recommend this book to anybody who is trying to get out of a verbally abusive relationship.



3. This is a great book for everyone that's been verbally abused, past and present. There is nothing like reading firsthand from someone that has been through all the emotions herself. Marcia Powers writes what we all feel and gives us a way to cope and answers our fears about leaving.



4. Before reading this book, I had never realized how I was contributing to my misery. Even though I had accepted that I could not change my partner, I continued to stew over the incidents of his abuse, reliving them in my head again and again. The resulting preoccupation with my situation kept me from participating in enjoyable activities with other people.
   
   When he becomed abusive in the future, I will clearly point out to him that I have nothing to do with his anger and that he is fully responsible for his actions. Then I will focus on something I enjoy doing.



5. Ellis brags in another (later) book "REBT: it works for me" how his ABC program affirmed his life-long habit of sneaking up to women to press his genitals against them as well as his belief that no woman can be tolerated without continual affairs (his first wife didn't agree). The harsh tone of this book is likely due to being co-authored from the perspective of such an admitted and "self-actualized" abuser (who typically just hates what they can't face in themselves... any weakness). An "antisocial" abuser, borderline, bi-polar, or "closet" narcissist will only use you, like any abused substance, to relieve a sense of being controlled and see you as needing their controlling behavior without any remorse (included in the tone of this book - making it an emotionally difficult read). Sadly, abusers and victims often have things in common (like stereotypical relationship views and emotional immaturity), so the abusive tone of this book might actually feel good to you. I strongly recommend just leaving (no matter what it takes) abusive situations (working on better boundaries and verbal self-defense) in the hopes your children won't grow up thinking such abusive behavior is preferred (as is usually the case) to the pathetically weak stance of the normal parent (as children of just a single abusive parent typically develop abusive personalities). The only way to stay in an abusive relationship working for change is from a very great distance (regardless of any economic concerns - people, even strangers, will help you). Buddha said the truth can be a lie, such as calling someone fat simply to hurt and control. In that respect, this book is a very well written lie in an attempt to change your life with a good kick to get you started. But, such is sadly a core aspect of all humanistic psychology... that right and wrong and a "good life" come from subjective personal choices in the moment (like Ellis' own perversions) without relying on existing social norms. I would instead recommend marriage books by Dr. David M. Schnarch (most respected relationship counselor, at least he was able to stay married and raise a daughter), "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman, verbal defense books by Thompson or Suzette Elgin (especially her excellent "You can't say that to me!"), and boundary books by Cloud and Townsend. I would not recommend, as "A Customer" does (I agree with everything else in her excellent review), books by Patricia Evans except to recognize you're not alone since Evans has NO training and very little experience (two things Ellis and Powers has in spades - and why I gave this book two stars). I would have given this book another star with more editing of Ellis' contributions (as is evident in other works by Ellis).

5 comments about Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living from a Forensic Pathologist.

1. This book was so comforting to read. I bought it for myself, but I think it would be a great gift for someone going through a loss of someone close to them. The book doesn't make judgements, it just talks about real life people experiencing life and beyond.



2. Both books of hers are OK, I guess. It seemed to me that both books pretty much stated the same stuff, nothing different. I was looking forward to more on the scene stories.....oh well, she was great on CTC....



3. As soon as we are born, we are all on a path towards death. It's the one great certainty. We don't know for sure if we are going to find love, get a great job, or have children but we know unequivocally that we all will die. With that said, death is generally something that both fascinates us and causes great anxiety. Despite that everyone has an opinion, no one knows for sure what happens after this life is over. Death is probably the world's greatest mystery.
   
   Forever Ours looks at death from an interesting perspective. The author is a forensic pathologist. Part of her job is to talk to the deceased person's relatives and give them information about the cause of death. The author seems like a very caring, empathetic individual who realizes that how she handles each situation is far more important that simply getting a job done. I think it is for this reason that so many patients, relatives, and colleagues have opened up to her about their experiences: about living, about death, about life after death, and about life after the death of a loved one.
   
   Forever Ours is a very insightful book that I would highly recommend to everyone.



4. This book became a bridge for me when my beloved husband, John, died of cancer in 2004. A staff member at my church sent Forever Ours to me. John remains closer to me than I thought possible, while I have a beautiful life as I look forward daily to new experiences.
   This makes a great gift for grieving people. Death is not to be feared but is the next step with its' own blessings.



5. This is the first book I read after my daughter died in March. A friend loaned me her copy. It was very comforting and uplifting. I bought my own copy so that I could have it to reread and to allow others to read as well.

5 comments about Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation.

1. Levenkron approaches every patient he ever had with stern directness. While it's nice to have a no-nonsense attitude, he only includes patients with whom he's had success so that he comes out smelling like roses.
   
   There is little solid implication that therapy is in development for self-harm, and it is irresponsible to present case history information with the idea that two pages per person (half of which is self-agrandizement) adequately expostulates their plights. This book, in my opinion, is a psychology disaster.
   
   I urge people in therapy and also caregivers to take great care in diversifying research material beyond this book, but to read it anyway, if only to get a ground-idea about some of the twisted ideas and myths that float among therapists regarding the subject matter.



2. This book is about people who cut and has ways to help cutters overcome their addiction to cutting as a means of escape and find better alternatives to this destructive lifestyle.



3. I've known a lot of individuals who engaged in self-mutilating behaviors over the years but this is the first book that I've ever purchased specifically addressing the subject. In the past, I never delved too deeply into this particular area of mental illness, but I'm glad I did because Dr. Levenkron provides a thorough explanation concerning all aspects of cutting including what it is, how to identify it, characteristics of those afflicted with it, why they do it, what feelings in the patient the act brings about, and, most importantly, the recommended methods of treatment. For me, that's about all you can ask for in an introductory text. Something else that added to its instructional value are the case study examples. The client summaries were textured but not so long as to distract from the general discussion. Overall, it was a well-planned and executed work.



4. This is an excellent look into self injury. Why it happens and how to heal.



5. So worth it. Get this book and learn everything you need to know to help your clients!

5 comments about A Grammar Book for You and I (Oops, Me): All the Grammar You Need to Succeed in Life (Capital Ideas) (Capital Ideas).

1. I am always trying to ensure my grammar is correct (a habit I picked up from my father.) I've not been able to find a book that explains common grammar problems in a way I would remember. This one is easy to use and I will always keep it with my dictionary and other reference books.



2. Mr. Good laments the fact that grammar is no longer taught in schools and he has taken the effort to introduce novices to it in a fun way. I am truly enjoying his book and I am learning much along the way! Thank you, Mr. Good!



3. The fact that you are reading this review indicates that you are interested in grammar. That means you should buy this book, as it is certainly one of the better books on this topic. What I especially like is that it does not treat you as a grammarian and it reviews many basics of sentence structure - and it is an enjoyable read. Yes, you still should have a copy of "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White if you're serious about good writing, but this book is a clear, single source, winner to me. I write articles, books and websites. I routinely seek good reference advice. That includes this book.



4. The title alone will sell you. I must hear people misusing "I and me" 100 times a week. I wish I'd had this book in high school. It lays out usage in a clear and understandable manner and doesn't bog you down with information that you don't care about.
   Terrific reference book for non-English majors.



5. This book has the majority of what you'll need for grammar lessons. It's very thorough and easy to comprehend. Highly recommended.

5 comments about Light His Fire: How to Keep Your Man Passionately and Hopelessly in Love With You.

1. I recently bought this and its companion, "Light His Fire : How to Keep Your Man Passionately and Hopelessly in Love With you".
   
   The advice in this one made, me feel pretty good- brilliant in fact. I had thought of most of the ideas, but they never really worked for my husband. He doesn't seem that impressed by having cookies sent to him at work. It is something a woman would like to have done for her, but the problem is men and women aren't the same. That is why we would buy a book like this- right?
   
   The advice in its companion made for men who want to please their women has started a few conversations. My husband has enjoyed heckling it, and that has caused a few hurt feelings. It is just close enough to the truth in many ways that I feel heckled too, but not close enough to the truth to help. This reminds me of one of those articles written with the help of gay men to help women understand the men they love. It seems like a good idea, but it doesn't work.
   
   In conclusion- If you are a man who wants to get even more confused by women, buy "How to Keep Your Man Passionately and Hopelessly in Love With You". If you are a woman with no creativity, buy, "Light His Fire: How to Keep Your Man Passionately and Hopelessly in Love With you". Otherwise, try something else. If you find something that really works, please let me know!



2. I heard about the CD's which appeared on Oprah's List of Good Things for some year in the past. I now see that the CD's are also a book. If the book is a good as the CD's, which it must be, I think the author's ideas and methods about making your relationship with your significant other work well are WONDERFUL!
   
   There is a CD series and book, LIGHT HER FIRE and a CD series and book LITE HIS FIRE. You need both! She is GOOD! And, either the book or the CD's are a bargain---just think how much a marriage counsellor or, worse yet, a divorce costs!
   
   I recommend this book and the CD's VERY MUCH! boland7214@aol



3. While this book is informative, it refreshes the natural instinct that we need to pay attention to in a relationship. The copy I received was yellowed and worn.



4. I purchased this book and the Light His Fire book (which my husband wouldn't read) to strengthen my marriage. It seems at times that the author is obsessed with sex because thats all the books pertain to, is strengthening that aspect of a marriage. My marital problems are spouse immaturity, running away, and screaming at each other. I don't think that this book covered those things at all and it was just a waste of my 8 bucks.



5. This book was recommended to me by another woman, who told me it was much easier to digest than "The Rules," etc. It is also a rather quick read and easy to digest. However, some of the suggestions are so far out there that there is no way in hell I could possibly follow them.
   
   As I said, there are many good tidbits in this book, especially the parts on being honest and sharing your feelings (emotions just are; they are neither right or wrong). But certain other suggestions, such as the good old getting your man home at noon for sex, are simply unrealistic and will not work with every guy. This book seems to almost suggest that all men react the same/value the same type of stimuli. I can attest to the fact that this is NOT the case. It also seems to rely on the fact that most men are primarily sexual creatures and will therefore respond to sexual advances much faster than to anything else. Again, this is not necessarily true.
   
   I also had a bit of a hard time with, what I perceived, the overall concept of the book, which is the good old "make the man the king." I found the idea to consistently going out of my way to make him happy, while he "waits to be served" very hard to digest. But then again, maybe I just misunderstood it.
   
   The important part is that there truly are some pieces of information in the book that can be used and should be used to communicate how one feels about another. For myself though, I simply do not like the idea of playing games, or pretending to be someone I am not. Sure, there are times in a relationship where one should try new things and be open. However, the suggestion to go against one's grain to do things for him that are embarrassing, humiliating, or plainly highly uncomfortable, is not my idea of achieving a happy relationship, nor do I see how it would serve the guy if his woman is all tense and uptight.

3 comments about The Only 127 Things You Need: A Guide To Life's Essentials.

1. If you are searching for ways to make your life more meaningful, less cluttered and deeper in spirituality and self discovery then this book will fulfill the expectations of exactly what the subtitle claims - "a guide to life's essentials". It is the most fabulous companion and guide in almost all the areas that we experience in this often perplexing journey through life. It's a book that is well written and you can read just for sheer enjoyment but also the book that you will keep close by to look things up when you are faced with mundane as well as life changing decisions. I particularly enjoyed gleaning practical advice from so many experts in such a variety of fields. The book focuses the reader in three main areas - basics for a healthy body, a healthy mind and a healthy spirit. Every chapter under those headings is filled with information and rationale of what the experts think and recommend, and often includes other websites that allow you to explore issues further. I particularly love the ideas that are shared in the healthy mind and the healthy spirit chapters.



2. I enjoyed reading this book and discovered plenty of great ideas and tips. I took lots of notes throughout the book on changes I want to make and resources for further reading. There were some sections where I learned quite a bit (building a wardrobe on a few good quality pieces) and a few areas where I already knew most of the information (nutrition), but that may vary from person to person. Overall, I thought it was a good read.
   
   A sampling of the topics include:
   Nutrition
   Physical Exercise
   Importance of Sleep
   Wardrobe essentials
   Kitchen, bath, bedroom essentials
   Mental Exercise
   Mindfulness
   A Sense of Purpose
   Time for Reflection
   
   The author consults countless experts for her information and mentions resources readers can investigate for more information. The chapters are easy-to-read with short articles on specific topics at the end like "Home Safety Tips" and "Can You Learn to Be Happy?". One of my favorite chapters is "Mindfulness and Acceptance" which covers "being present" (live in the "now", not the future or the past), "observing without judgement or criticism" and "ability to notice new things". The book does cover a very wide range of topics from a healthy body and home to a healthy mind and spirit, and the pages are just packed with useful information and tips. I would definitely recommend it to other readers.



3. Good ideas for different aspects of your life, especially if you want to get your life in order.

5 comments about Creating a Charmed Life: Sensible, Spiritual Secrets Every Busy Woman Should Know.

1. I have read this book and loved every chapter!....and I am purchasing a dozen, one for every female on my Christmas list, friends, neices, mother-in-law, setp-mom, etc..... I feel relieved that I am not the only female who feels this way. I especially like Chapters 8, 12, 31, 44....all of them ! This is the book you will read over and over again !!!! Thank you Victoria !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
   Debbie



2. I spotted this book when I was going through a particularly difficult period in my life. (I read the book and truly felt inspired to make changes and to become more accepting of myself and others. I refer to the book all the time-it's like my own little pocket guide to life. Yes, I bleieve in God and have faith but I'll admit, I waiver. I grew up in a house where my mother did not have the skills or confidence in herself to be able to enjoy her own life or teach her daughters to enjoy theirs. If I am lucky enough to have children I will make sure I teach them these principles. Thank you, Victoria Moran for helping me wake up and enjoy life.



3. This can be useful: to keep this book on your shelf and open it to a fun suggestion at random. It lists ways to treat yourself as a way of reminding yourself to be good to yourself at regular intervals.
   
   But it may only work if you're a very girlie kind of gal: this is something I don't usually notice unless it's very pronounced as it is here. The author's idea of a good time is to dress up with hat and gloves and call all her best girlfriends and go out for a traditional English tea and then to get pampered at the neighborhood spa. I myself would find that a total ordeal!
   
   So, even though she has some good insights, she and I don't have much in common, and this book struck me as more outer-oriented and materialistic than her Lit From Within book, which I would recommend, and which concentrates on inner peace.



4. A friend of mine gave me "Creating a Charmed Life" last year and told me that she used it to read a chapter at a time to her staff at work. I found myself reading each chapter or essay in a similar manner and enjoyed it very much. So this Christmas I bought two copies to give to friends with the same advice. It has a calming effect in the harried life.



5. This book is broken down into 70-something wonderful pearls of wisdom and advice-some practical, some nurturing, and some just pointing out where we can appreciate the "now". I would recommend this book for anyone, especially if you have a shorter attention span (each chapter is 2-3 pages), or if you're short on time (you can read a chapter at a stoplight or in line). Excellent insight and wisdom!

1 comments about Keys to Success: Building Successful Intelligence for College, Career, and Life (5th Edition).

1. While attending community college, I was required to read this text for a class called: "Student Life Skills". While a lot of the information was more of a review for me personally, I feel that the topics covered within this text are definitely appropriate for high school students and especially college freshmen. I'm an "older" student--- going to college in my 30s----and as a result I found myself realizing that a lot of the suggestions in this book were things that I was already doing in my academic career.
   
   This book is easy to read, clear and concise. The wording is simple and uses plain, everyday English. I also recommend utilizing as many online resources that the book has to offer. Even though it is geared towards college level students, high schoolers will certainly benefit.

5 comments about Maximum Influence: The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion.

1. Here, in one place, is a consolidated list, with examples, of the major ways people are persuaded to change behavior.



2. This is the best and most comprehensive work on human nature and mind dynamics I have read. A must read for any salesperson or any one interested in bringing out the best in people. A very easy read with numerous every day examples of the Laws in action. Simple tools for major improvements in our communicatian skills.



3. This book is fantastic, it not only explains the importance of each law but it also verbalises it in a way where it's very easy to understand



4. A very practical book that seems to have pretty well everything you would want to know about persuasion in one easy to read volume. He has 12 laws that make sense as well as a checklist to ensure you have the best chance to persuade your audience. Definitely a library keeper, especially if you are a salesperson, in marcomm, or a speaker/presenter. Lesson reinforced, information helps persuade, emotion sells the deal. The twelve power laws are:
   
   Dissonance
   
   Obligation
   
   Connectivity
   
   Social Validation
   
   Scarcity
   
   Verbal Packaging
   
   Contrast
   
   Expectations
   
   Involvement
   
   Esteem
   
   Association
   
   Balance



5. Maximum Influence is superior to any books written about influence! Kurt did a great job teaching influence in his book and Maximum Influence is not only a fun read, but is written in a way that makes it easy to apply the principles taught.

5 comments about The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks (New Harbinger Workbooks).

1. I never thought workbooks really work. I am on Step 6 in this book, and I am really beginning to notice a difference. I still have a negative body image, but I'm beginning to realize how much of my problem is related to my thoughts as opposed to my actual body. This book speaks to me on a very personal level, and has helped me realize that several people struggle with the same problem I do. I don't think I'll be totally cured by the time I finish the book, but I do think I'll improve my body image each day by practicing the steps in the book. It's a long process, but I truly believe this book will help me learn to love my looks!



2. I found this book to be one of the most helpful books I've read on overcoming body image issues. Everyone has body image issues to some extent. Others, like me, could have received many advanced degrees and done great things in the world had they successfully channeled bad body thoughts into something productive; like accepting oneself and learning to honor the body (and genetics) given to you. This book walks readers through a number of exercises designed to help first return to the core reasons (and identify humiliating public experiences) leading to a negative body image. The book then goes on to help the reader come to grips with their own expectations and realities surrounding their body image. My nutritionist is now "prescribing" this book to all of her patients. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with never feeling fully comfortable in the skin you're in.



3. I have found this workbook to be very thorough in professionally addressing the issues of body image for a variety of people. It provides a positive reference tool to those who seek greater self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-esteem.



4. I never thought that I would try using something like this workbook, but I'm glad that I purchased it. It's an easy book to read and understand and the exercises have been very helpful so far. It isn't for JUST people with weight issues, but people who are dissatisfied with their facial features, thinning hair, height, etc. Highly recommended for anyone with problems with any physical features.



5. This is really a great book. If you don't like the way you look,have self-esteem issues, fears, or depression (all these may be caused by a poor body image), read this book.
   
   Thomas Cash teaches you step by step how to overcome this crippling illusion and discover the beautiful person you are meant to be.
   
   I would highly recommend this book.