5 comments about Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice.

1. After reading Anxious to Please I had insight into some of my mother's behavior. My memories include her obsessive baking of desserts and giving them away to coworkers, neighbors, doctors, anyone she had contact with. She often couldn't pay her bills but always had money to buy the ingredients for her gifts. It is obvious now that she was one of the original "chronically nice" people. She wanted to be liked by everyone (except perhaps family members who were locked into a relationship by blood). None of these people became real friends.
   
   My husband also identified his father as one of the chronically nice, though he treated his wife very poorly. He gave big parties for extended family and acquaintances paying for literally truck loads of liquor. His dad also bought people (would be friends) gas for their cars. Generous to a fault? The family was not well to do, and his mother worked in a factory.
   
   This book will, no doubt, give others insight into themselves and into friends and family. I suspect many people will recognize relatives, who might not have always been nice to them, but who gave away time and things to strangers in a quest to be liked.
   
   Dana Paulinski MSW



2. Sure, it's good to be nice, but you may be "too nice." If you are clingy, care too much what others think of you and minimize the bad personalities of the people around you, then your niceness may be hurting you. Authors James Rapson and Craig English recommend seven practices that will put you on the road to a more balanced emotional life - many of these approaches will be familiar to readers who have engaged in any sort of meditation or self-awareness exercises. Lists, sidebars and quotes make the book's ideas easily accessible - although integrating these practices into your daily life will require some work. We recommend this book to self-help beginners who are tired of having sand kicked in their faces and wish to develop their tranquility and strength of character.



3. In reading the cover description, I could identify with the book immediately. The author gives some helpful tips and exercises to learn to be more assertive. I was so impressed with the content, I sent it to others in my family who might enjoy the information.



4. An excellent read if you're a chronic nice guy.. A great book if you want to become more confident, direct and effective in relationships.
   
   Michael A.



5. I just happened to glance at this book while browsing in BAM the other day. Just the title made me look at it. I started reading it, and started quietly crying right there in Books-A-Million! (luckily it wasn't crowded) I read the examples and symptoms of a chronically nice person...and it's like they wrote the book about my life. It shocked me so much...I would call myself a 'textbook' case. Actually, it scared me a lot...thinking of process it will be, but intrigued me also. I think now I'm to the point where I can start really reading it and incorporating techniques, and trying to work out some big issues in my life.
   
   Fortunately and unfortunately for me, my husband is a very assertive person...and just a couple of days after I first saw this book, he told me he can barely handle how I am like this, because he sees a stronger person in me.
   
   When I read that it destroys relationships I thought 'Well, at least that part's not like me'...and was proven wrong 3 days later. I guess all I have to say is if you feel any way like I did, just do it: Get the book and look forward to the process. As cliche as it sounds, just admitting that I needed to work on some stuff in my life was a big step. But it doesn't require BIG steps. All you need is one little baby step at a time. I may not be MUCH better in 2 weeks, but check me out in 6 months...there will be progress :)
   
   Good luck and God bless everyone out there
   There's life to live so let's live it for once
   -Jan

5 comments about Intuition: Knowing Beyond Logic.

1. To have intuition you have to move into a higher level of consciousness and sensitivity. Otherwise, if you are half-sleep as the mayority of people are, it is impossible to understand intuition. Osho is very clear stating that intuition is not an intellectual pursuit or intellectual analysis made with your mind. You have to move beyond the mind, to the "witnessing consciusness" to contact a higher dimension. You cannot buy a book on intuition and expect to have it after you finish reading it. We in the West want everyting ready-made instant coffee. Intuition does not work that way. Osho tells us like it is and I am sorry if somebody is hurt.



2. I can't say in a thousand words what Osho means to me. I would say that Osho is a being that touches the unbelievable.
   What you must understand is that Osho talks to a multitude of different kinds of minds and so it is difficult to say which book on him is a good start.
   In some readings he explains is approach and methods, in others he just brainwash all your assumptions and false beliefs.
   In this book he uncovers the secrets of being born as someone that needs intuition as a way to unlock the confusing tricks of our mind and knowledge.
   In other books he talks on intimacy, courage, old religions, traditions and ways of knowledge and plainly explains how to step into the unkown.
   And the unkown is not the unknowable, you have to set your mind and your thoughts in a way that whatever you will ever know is mental and cognitive. You are the necessary bondage and the unique reality. And Osho ultimatly makes you think and act for yourself out of inner freedom. You can find it to have more weight or more lightness but the BEING is the same, and his words just make you cool down to abundance.
   It makes you think in so many different ways and also gives place to an essence that is not the ego, the false personality produced by external circunstances. In spite of ego he lifts you alone with existence and with your uniqueness and inner freedom.

   Celebrate light! Dance with Life!




3. Fantastic book. I highly recommend it to any spiritual searcher or even just a casual reader.



4. He did a wonderful job with this book. I really feel that I made a good decision buying it.



5. I have read Osho books back to back and am amazed that his teachings never overlap - his thoughts are fresh - his message clearly stated. I find it very difficult to stop reading Osho.

5 comments about Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage.

1. Excellent book and innovative concept. Very good case studies; one or two that will likely apply to the reader's own situation. The title misleads just a bit in that I thought the book was going to help me then-and-there as to whether I should stay or go. It deals more with the task of separating and the rules that go along with it, so that you CAN decide whether to stay or go. I found that this book was excellent as a second-read, behind "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay." Would absolutely recommend both books for that delicate situation of being in a shaky, unresolved marriage.



2. I really liked the book. It was easy to read and had a lot of useful information. I liked the different relationship examples. Although not one of them were exactly us...there were a few similarities in many of the relationships we could relate to. We did use the contract format, made our own revisions and agreements (although we decided we didn't need a formal signed agreement, we at least covered the points we needed and included a small blurb about the finances as well).
   A great way to help make decisions in a rational way!



3. In the heat of a break up, this book gives practical advice on how to discern what is the best route to take. It was recommended on a chat sight for divorcing couples and I would highly recommend it to people who are still within a disfunctional relationship.



4. Thid wonderful book helps one recognize and intergrate emotional, intellectual and financial consideraions and to rationally consider options.



5. I found this book to be an excellent resource for dealing with my own personal seperation. It gives excellent advice that has already help settle down all the turbulent emotions and is allowing for calmer minds on both sides. Very well written, easy to follow and very real world advice.

5 comments about Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love.

1. I have read this book several times and never cease to come away with a new understanding. It has depth, compassion and useful information for moving through some of the modern relationship dilemmas that cause so many of us suffering.
   
   John Welwood is a Ph.D. psychotherapist with a deep knowledge of world religions, especially Buddhism. He also has a lot of life experience and has written many books on a variety of topics including other relationship books.
   
   One of the things I most like about this book is the author's ability to apply both modern psychological thought and Eastern philosophical wisdom to modern day problems. He does this in an easy to read fashion with a compassionate tone. He does not come across as omniscient, but rather as a fellow traveler on the relationship path of spiritual growth.
   
   I believe relationships are probably the best or at least one of the best self-growth paths anyone could ever follow. John Welwood shows us how to hold them as such in this marvelously insightful book.
   
   I also recommend his book called "Toward a Psychology of Awakening." This book is subtitled "Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation." This would make a nice accompaniment to the book above, but the content is heavier and so is the style. However, it is packed with great information and it represents some of John Welwood's best writing.
   
   I particularly like Welwood's insights on "spiritual bypassing" or escaping our psychological and emotional work by overly emphasizing the transcendent and dismissing the wisdom of embodied experience. I'm sure glad a guy who is writing relationship books holds this point of view because as anyone knows who has been in a committed relationship, there are lots of important ingredients to a good relationship beyond the spiritual considerations. The phenomenon of spiritual bypassing is explored very directly in "Toward a Psychology of Awakening."



2. Item was received with other purchased item, thus I received it in a reasonable amount of time. Book was like new!



3. This is one of the most profound books I have ever read. I first read the book some ten years ago and at the time I recall thinking "Why didn't I know this information?". Within this book you will learn how to establishing a healthy connection with another. This is a must have book. How I wish I had such insights when I was young.



4. This is an excellent book that challenges you to risk being intimate with yourself and your part. Welwood's observations are keen insightful, but delivered in a manner that is respectful to his readers. What I got most from this book was reading and reflecting on all of my relationships and the intimacy I allowed for myself as well as how open I am to others. I definitely recommend this as a book to read to help you appreciate the deeper layers of passion that a relationship can provide.



5. Journey of the Heart has been all I hoped it would be. The message in the book gives hope, not through wishful thinking, but through confronting destructive patterns. What is hopeful is that the message gives one hope in reclaiming a relationship or at least making you better at how to relate. The book is not lightweight, but it is personal and reaches to where we humans struggle and sheds light and gives guidance. If you are serious about being better at relating, this book is serious about helping.

5 comments about I Never Told Anyone: Writings by Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse.

1. I don't generally like short story format, but I found this book to be better than I expected. Just be warned that some of the stories are graphic and can be disturbing, so be prepared. It must have been quite empowering for the women to tell their stories since, as children, they likely kept it a secret. Another book that comes highly recommended is Miss America By Day by Marilyn VanDerber.



2. This book provides insight into the inner workings of child sexual abuse and why victims don't tell. The stories range from a quick one-time exposure to unthinkable brutality. Some perpetrators were strangers; others were family members. All caused lasting emotional damage. The accounts are so honest and true that they allowed me to recognize for the first time that I had been molested, and it completely changed my life.
   
   I read "I Never Told Anyone" about twenty years ago, when I was still living with my parents, not long after I graduated from college. My mom had checked it out from the library, and the title haunted me because I, too, had a secret I had never told another living soul. I read the back cover and then kept moving the book away from wherever I was in the house, terrified of what was inside. Finally, I couldn't resist. I stayed up all night and read it from cover to cover. I saw my own story in the things that were said, the feelings that were expressed... For the first time I realized that maybe I wasn't evil; that maybe I didn't deserve to die; that instead, as an innocent child, I had been manipulated and molested.
   
   It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, but because of this book, I did tell, and I got help. Child sexual abuse is extremely devastating, but there can be happy endings, and I am living one. Thank you so much, Ellen Bass and your courageous contributors, for your part in that.



3. This book gives women the opportunity to "speak" against the abuse that happened to them. I appreciated the way it was organized into types of abusers (fathers, family members, siblings, strangers, etc.) so that you could go to the areas that were of most interest to you. I would highly recommend this book to anyone having been through abuse as a child.



4. If you are a male that was molested, this book may not help. The book also has overtones that males are all bad because of their sexual drive and females are predominantly victims of being primarily sexual objects. If you are looking to get over sexual abuse, this book does not seem to provide answers for how to find a cure.



5. This material is timeless, in that the stories will always be relevant, though the problem with this book is that most of the stories are very dated in terms of the time in history that they occurred. My wife as a victim of childhood sexual abuse, would be a better story reference than someone from the 20's, 30's, 40's, or 50's... as the treatment of women during those decades was viewed completely different from the 60's going forward. Still a worthwhile read for women who need to understand they are not alone in this suffering, but it could do with some updated stories and references to more modern women.
   
   Thanks.
   Lynn

5 comments about Is It Love or Is It Addiction? - Second Edition.

1. I can't believe I am the first one to review this book! After struggling with addictions of all sorts for years (including alcohol, drugs, sex, and love addiction), I finally determined why I kept sabotaging my relationships with women. My compulsive search for something to help me feel less pain came from my childhood, and this book was the stepping stone that helped me see that there was hope to overcome this tricky addiction, seek help, and learn to love myself and others with authenticity.

   I highly recommend this book to any alcoholic, chemically dependent or sexually addicted person. There is hope for a relationship without painful addictive behaviors, and this book will help you find that hope!




2. Not only discusses the symptoms, but also walks you through some steps to stop it, and to work through it. A wonderful book. I keep it on my bedside and consult it frequently even though I have read it cover to cover.



3. I initially bought this book because I wondered if being in love was just an addiction. But I learned so much more than that. This book should be helpful for practically everyone. It talks about how our love relationships are related to unmet needs from childhood. It described my parents relationship almost exactly and I see how it affected me. It was amazing that anyone knew all this stuff.



4. simple, concise book that takes you through the subject in an interesting way.
   
   I recommend it



5. Well written, explains the reasons behind the toxic codependent dynamics, how to recognise them, and how to heal. A MUST HAVE!

5 comments about Unleash Your True Potential (Diviniti) (Diviniti) (Diviniti) (Divinity).

1. I've only recently discovered the work of Glenn Harold. This is one of his most popular CDs and there is a good reason why. I like this CD mainly because there is no b.s. like on so many others. Everything is straight to the point, first you relax, then some positive affirmations are suggested to your unconscious mind which has to absorb them and start executing. One drawback is that I find he speaks a little too fast and leaves no time for the material to sink in. Perhaps if the pace was a bit slower, I would've given this CD five stars. Overall, good starting point for hypnosis exploration.



2. I own several of Glenn Harrold's CDs. I've tried many other relaxation/hypnosis products over the years and Glenn Harrold's are by far-and-away the best I've heard. As many of the other reviews have pointed out, the production values on these CDs are extraordinary, but that's not what makes them special. What makes these CDs special is how good they leave you FEELING.
   
   Many of the other hypnosis recordings I've tried would either put me to sleep half of the time or just feel like a chore to listen to. Glenn Harrold's CDs actually make for a very enjoyable and pleasant listening experience. And regardless of how I felt before hand, I'm always left feeling refreshed, serene and on an "even keel".
   
   If you're looking to purchase just one hypnosis title, make it one of Glenn Harrold's. You will not be disappointed.



3. His voice an proper grammar have taken a while for me to get used to without smiling. By the second track I am often out. Whether my life is changing I will have to keep you all posted.
   ;-)



4. These CD's are an easy listen filled with wonderfully phrased, motivational words. Glenn's Australian accent is a pleasure to listen to. Places on the CD have music as well that accompanies the voice. I LOVE these CD's and own most of them. If you live in the states you may hear an occassional terminology that is not common in the U.S. (Example, in the weight series he uses a weight measurement of a 'stone' which is a British term that represents 14 pounds). This happen rarely and certainly does not detract from the message presented in any of Glenn's CD's. You can't really listen to these in the car as they are a little hypnotic so be sure you are in a stress free mind set and location when you listen to any of therse CD's. I felt they were worth every penny.



5. Glenn Harold's voice is hypnotic and relaxing to listen to.
   
   The echoes, music and other special effects used in this cd really helps, by the next day I catch myself restating the affirmations in my mind.
   
   (I'll be purchasing more of Glenn Ford's hypnosis!)

5 comments about Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People.

1. No nonsense advice. Has helped me deal with screwed up family members.



2. This is an excellent book that is easy to read, and offers solutions and helpful techniques for almost any adult. You almost always deal with at least one "screwed up person" every day. I have recommended it to patients who have benefitted from it.
   
   She does an excellent job of explaining forgiveness, and moving forward.
   
   Worth every penny.



3. A real world account of the many events that can occur on a daily basis in your life. It made me feel that I was not alone and that other people were facing the same problems. Not only facing them but how to face and resolve them. A friend told me to just put the book down and open it now and then to any page - and it always seems to hit the perfect page.



4. 
   I bought this book at Krogers while waiting for my wife and
   it really turned me around in my view of SUP's ( Screwed Up People).
   It is very common sense book on learning how to spot SUP's , dealing with SUP's , and letting SUP's go . A must have for anyone who deals with people in a work environment, home, or on the golf course.



5. I bought this book for quick reading on a plane. This title may do the content a disservice, but I did buy the book. I would rather that the title were the sub-title but please read on. Initially while reading the book I was prepared to give it a 7 out of 10 positive score. But as I moved toward the end, the book and advice got stronger and better. The conclusion brings me to rate this book a 9 out of 10. The reason for the seven or the nine was primarily due to the title and expectations. I like to share things with friends, and I was fearful that they might think I bought the book with them in mind. Strong advice, not preachy, and not I'm OK but your not, and well worth the full price. If you have difficult people in your life, buy this book. Thanks Elizabeth, but how about consulting with me on the next title? :)

5 comments about Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child.

1. Only a grieving parent can speak to another, after the loss of a child - for no one knows the depths to which one sinks - and this book does let you know that there are others out there and that you are not alone in feeling this will never end - and that it will always be with you, but you will be prepared for your despair....But wait at least a year before you read it...



2. My 25 year old son was killed in a motorcycle accident almost three years ago. There's no way to understand the shock and pain a parent feels with this type of loss, unless you've experienced it. Our daughter bought "Beyond Tears" for me, I could only read one or two pages at a time because these dear women were describing my pain - I was reading what I was feeling. It helped me to understand and know that I wasn't losing my mind or going crazy. I continued reading books (22 at the last count) but, Beyond Tears was by far the most helpful. I've recommended it to those who sadly have found themselves dealing with the death of a teen or adult child.



3. Wondered if a book written by grieving mothers would speak to men. I was sure wrong. Very honest talk of thier feelings and varied coping adjustments. I saw myself in many of their stories of how they feel and how they keep on keeping on. The last chapter where the husbands talk of thier feelings only helped solidify my liking this book.



4. I thought this book was excellent and so helpful - as anything can be at a time like this...it is comforting to know that others share in this horrible journey of grief and you are not alone in your feelings. The writer/writers have all been there and will be for the rest of their lives. I cried my eyes out but found the book cathartic. I have read a few others but none have touched me as deeply as this book. God help us all who have lost a child - what a horrendous loss it is.



5. Unfortunately for me, I bought and read this book because I have walked the walk. I lost my son 2 years ago in a car accident. This book touched on everything i've thought, felt, said to myself, said to others and lived through in the past 2 years. It made me know for sure, that I was on the right path, that I wasn't crazy, that what I was actually feeling was "normal", as normal as I can be while going through this. Please, please please, anyone who has lost a child or knows someone who has, order it for you or for that someone. They will be extremely grateful and you might just keep someone from going off the edge.
   Thank you ladies for sharing your intimate stories about your angels, I felt your words right down to my very soul. I cannot thank you enough for putting your feelings into this book. I am forever grateful.

5 comments about Boys and Girls Learn Differently!: A Guide for Teachers and Parents.

1. I found 'Boys and Girls Learn Differently" to be a useful and fascinating introduction to the general strengths and weaknesses of males and females in the classroom.
   
   Some reviewers may laugh or poke fun at the relatively old ideas that he is presenting as new in the areas of male/female brain differences. These may be old ideas in the biology lab, but someone needs to walk over to the schools of education across the country because the 'tabla rasa' theory (the mind is a blank slate and gender differences are entirely a product of culture, not nature) is alive and still kicking hard.
   
   The only complaint I have is that Gurian refers a lot to seminars and ongoing experiments in school designs that will be helpful in teaching to the strengths and weaknesses of girls and boys. However, he comes up a bit short in providing concrete examples of how to help both boys and girls.



2. I am an educator at a school that separates the genders beginning at the 4th grade level. I have always know instinctively that girls and boys learn differently, and I strongly believe after working at this school for over 3 years that it is the way education should be. Many years ago these kinds of schools were common, but for whatever reason we have gotten away from that structure. The book points out many important biological difference that explains a lot to me about why both genders act the way they do in the classroom.
   I would highly recommend this book to any educator who is interested in tapping into the potential that each gender has to offer, or even to answer the age old question of why men and women are so different! I would also recommend "Why Gender Matters" by Sax. It is just as enlightening!



3. Raising our grandson now 10 years old is a challenge anyway but as a gifted child is even more demanding. The book information helps us undestand the heightened behavior displayed because he is a boy - an athletic and smart boy that at age 10 has a good handle on the real world.
   Thanks for the book!



4. We need to stop worrying about offending people with talk of the differences of the genders and embrace what we are seeing and (what studies are showing). If we wonder why kids are having so much trouble we need to look at what we are doing to them and embrace the reality rather than deny the fact that we are wired differently. This is filled with critical information and ways to help our kids. I want to do the best for my son and daughter and I thank Michael Gurian for this book.



5. Our education system always talks the talk of "celebrating diversity," but we are pummeled by political correctness any time we acknowledge any differences.
   
   Michael Gurian does an exellent job presenting a lot of heavy medical and scientific research about brain differences between boys and girls. Different does not mean "inferior," and Gurian does well to present the facts about gender differences in a way that is both easy to understand and is scientific enough to combat the political correctness that is trying (unsuccessfully) to turn the US into a genderless society.
   
   If your son's teacher cannot handle "boy energy" and wants to to drug him into submission, you really need to read this book first. Afterwards, you will probably want to give a copy to your boy's teacher.