5 comments about Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them.

1. Not bad, but not insanely good. It was very informative, and I felt that the author really made an effort to appeal to the sexual needs of all of her readers - male, female, gay, bi, sexually dominating or submissive, ect. I thought I really knew everything there was to know, but I didn't. Frottage? Who knew?
   The first couple of chapters may be a source of frustration for those of us who are already hard-core size acceptance people because it's making the effort to first and foremost dismiss a new readers self-hatred. But a chapter or two isn't much against an entire lifetime of cultural brain washing, and it was necessary for size-acitivism rookies.
   I didn't find it particularly engrossing though. I was able to put it down. And skip around in it. However, I certainly don't regret buying it and it has a proper place in my library. I give it my recommendation.



2. and for those who love larger people. This book is cutting edge and I'm certain will cause a stir from people who preach that "thin is the only sexy" but guess what, most people don't look like models or movie stars so this is really a book for the majority of Americans. There are six chapter which cover everything from personal identity issues, dating, community groups, health, and sexual suggestions for a more fulfilling intimate life. I have two complaints about this book (thus the 4 stars instead of 5): facts without citation (yup, I know she did a survey but still there are facts tossed about that need evidence) and a jumping around between "fat people" and "fat admirers" that can make things a bit confusing. It could also really use some diagrams for some of the positions she discusses in chapter six -- if we can't assume that the existing sexuality books address "fat" needs, how can we assume that larger people know what a certain position looks like?



3. As a happily married, straight, bbw, I found this book somewhat lacking. Most of the book deals with size acceptance, dealing with discrimination, etc. The author also spends alot of time comparing fat people to gays and how we've both been social outcasts, blah blah blah. I was looking for a book on how to enhance my sex life, and maybe even learn a new position or two. There is one chapter that actually deals with having sex, and there wasn't really anything new there either. If you are gay, or into BDSM there is a lot of info in this book that would interest you, but it just didn't do it for me.



4. Although I found this to be a very well-written and informative book on a lot of different topics and issues that people of size face in terms of sexuality and otherwise, one factor that "stuck out to me" was that it seemed like the obstacles that people of size face out of society's ignorance and cruelty (e.g., partners' and many others' saying "I'll do such and such for you if you lose weight", "you'll never find anyone if you don't lose weight", "a person of size should be thankful for every sexual encounter that comes his/her way," etc.) kept being recycled throughout the book, only "wrapped back up in a different package" or context. Although the purpose of the book is very positive, which is clear, it seemed to me that in its attempt to be empowering, which it is, the constant reminders and reiterations throughout the book of an almost canonical stockpile of issues faced by people of size seems to act as a tool to remind/drive those issues into someone's head even deeper and actually counteract, at times, the well-crafted and reasoned elements of empowerment it offers. It is one thing to address the issues, bring them to the forefront and deal with them head-on, but it is another to keep conjuring them up and rehashing them like recurring nightmares. The frequent reiteration of these issues almost seemed to develop an all-too-strong, yet obviously unintentional, undercurrent of, "look at ALL these problems and obstacles people of size have to face" in a way that made the reader feel like the task of becoming a sexually and emotionally confident person of size is all the more daunting, in spite of the book's clearly positive message to overcome the lies and the tendency to consider oneself as "less" than others. It seemed to repeatedly confirm fears barriers and even at times, point out new ones to add to the "battle".
   
   At the same time, I do believe the benefits and useful information that can be garnered from the book greatly outweigh the drawbacks. Hanne Blank has a great writing style that is sharp, humorous, and very witty and she organizes her arguments and reasoning in a powerful way. It is definitely worth a read and, generally speaking, debunks the myths of people of size and sexuality in a highly sharp and intelligent manner at the same time that it seeks to be empowering.



5. Hanne Blank has performed a heroic act in the unfolding history of the size acceptance movement and added a milestone to its archive, with her tour de force Big Big Love. (You can satisfy your inevitable and natural curiosity and check out what she looks like at www.bigbiglove.com) She has put together 280 pages on (almost) everything you ever wanted to know about sex and the person of size and were too afraid, too isolated or too uninformed to ask. And she has done it with rigour, humour and style.
   
   The book is coherently organised into 6 parts. Chapter 1 is an excellent essay introducing the territory. Inevitably and quite naturally it challenges and indeed demolishes the prevailing and all pervading cultural attitude toward fat people which is both misguided and cruel, and states the case for greater understanding as well as the utter normalcy of fat people having the same potential as anyone else for being fulfillingly sexually active. Her technique here is somewhat repetitive, but in an upwardly spiralling form - covering the same ground essentially but with each round reenforcing the case, arguing from comparison, metaphor and unassailable logic; a comprehensive polemic which should sow enlightenment among the ignorant and unconverted, and is sheer pleasure for the fat and fat related audience - the `I'm OK You're OK' for the fat community.
   
   Throughout, and properly so, she weaves between fat issues in general and sex issues specifically. So chapter 2 takes us around the total cultural and political fat scene, including special interest groups and minorities within a minority; thus the gay, bi and transgender worlds are surveyed extensively too. It ends with cross referencing all this with the internet; the net being a strong thread throughout the book, with good reason. Recently the development of the size acceptance movement and the development of the net seem to have progressed in tandem, and much of the cutting edge of size activism is unfolding on the net. The net listings in the resource guide at the end of the book are a portal goldmine in themselves.
   
   In evolutionary terms, chapter 3 covers courtship - meeting and mating, flirting and dating, cuddling and coupling; with all the special features when people of size are involved. Hanne herself seems to be well versed in all this; she has also spoken with lots and lots of people and done a survey as part of her prep for the book, and she draws on all of these. Chances are that most readers in the singles scene will find their own bit to relate to. Here too the net looms large.
   
   Chapter 4 returns to the individual - the painful experiences common to the unconventionally sized; the jibes, the rejection, the internalisation of the criticism; again, particularly in relation to their sexuality and their sexual experience. FAs are never very far from the action, and she helpfully tackles the peculiar phenomenon of the ambivalence of the fat woman, adored by her paramour, but nevertheless suspicious of his attraction, overtures and professions of adoration, shrinking at his touch, especially of her vulnerable parts, with insight and sympathy.
   
   The next section is all about sexual health for fat people, from abuse through dysfunction to childbirth. Hanne is practical throughout the book and no less so here, with things like directories of fat friendly practitioners and 9 right-on questions to ask your gynaecologist before signing up with them.
   
   Having read and inwardly digested all of the above, the final chapter is desert - the juicy bit! How do fat people do it?! Essentially the same as everyone else, but with certain limitations, particular variations and lots of special possibilities! Hanne is totally unencumbered by cant or inhibition and her approach and her language are liberated and natural. Nowhere have I seen in a quality piece of writing such upfront and explicit exploration of things like the pleasures and varieties of fat frottage.
   
   I found just two omissions in this encyclopaedic work. Somewhere she does refer to water and its magic powers of bestowing weightlessness and agility on the fat person; but she doesn't actually go on to discuss this in a sexual context - and never mind your mile high club, aqua-sex is quite extraordinary. The other omission for me was something about intimate language, pillow talk. Again, she does cover language, for example in the fairly obvious sense of language as repository of prejudice. Throughout the book, whatever the subject, she gives useful examples but rightly emphasizes that every individual can and should find their very own personal way of approaching and doing things; but she omits highlighting this in the potent area of language. It's a great thing to emerge from, or at least to supplement, the received language for referring to fat. For example - on the humourous side, my partner and I fell into the joke of moving from calling her roly poly to calling us roly and poly; more seriously, at an earlier, more sensitive stage of our relationship, I substituted the gentler word falling for the more negatively loaded hanging in my verbal rhapsodies; and it's wholly feasible to evolve a whole private language of love with its own vocabulary for body parts, fat attributes and terms of endearment in general.

5 comments about Lit from Within.

1. At first I was enthralled but as the book went on it seemed more like one of those toddler books where each page shows some aspect of a child's day- My Breakfast- My Friends- My Bath. I really don't care to know what she has in her closet. How trite!! I agree with several of the other reviews. There is nothing new and seems to be more of an ego trip of a woman with too much time on her hands.



2. I bought this at a time when I was having medical problems. This helped me put all in perspective. I ejoyed the book so much I gave a copy to my sister who was undergoing cancer treatment. The two of us have carried this book as sort of a bible for us. There are so many things in life that can cause you to be happy and unhappy. This book allows you to see the good in life and not put the emphasis on the bad or the unlucky things that might happen.



3. Oh my gosh! I love this book. I don't know what the other reviewers are looking for, but I want inspiration to love myself and that is exactly what the author does with "Lit".
   
   It provides tips on how to nurture, respect, and take care of ourselves. What is wrong with that? Not a darn thing! If you can't love yourself and be a little self-serving, how are others going to love you?
   
   I am a happy person that people enjoy being around because I read books like this that help me stay on track, emotionally.
   
   I am always looking for re-assurance that I am beautiful and I have found it in this book - I have read it many times and will continue reading it daily - it is my affirmation.



4. It is the same "New Age" stuff that has been around since the 1980s. There are a lot of other books out there that say the same stuff. Beware, this book is being sold on Amazon for more money than the price that is printed on the back of the book. My suggestion would be to go to a second hand book store and pick one up for $3.00 if you feel you have to have it.



5. Love this book! Entertaining and fun. I bought one as a b'day gift for a friend, and she loves it, too!

2 comments about Gay Spirit Warrior: An Empowerment Workbook for Men Who Love Men.

1. Let others search for "the boyfriend within" -- John Stowe offers ways we can discover our true inner Gay Spirit Warrior. This is exactly the journey that therapist/bodyworker John Stowe takes us on in this intensive-workshop-in-a-book, the shining result of decades of the author's teaching, counseling, and leading in the gay spirit arena. Stowe, who clearly has done his internal homework, seems to embody the very principles he lays out so logically. Stowe is an expert tourguide leading us on an authentic journey of self-inquiry. He doesn't insult our intelligence by endlessly parroting trendy New-Age affirmations like so much self-help pablum. Instead he lovingly insists we roll up our sleeves and submerge our arms up to the elbows in our own socially given beliefs and dearly held concepts, then hold up what we discover to the light for scrutiny. After examining ideas about our image, bodies, sex, relationships, and soul, we continue on a tour of sacred gay archetypes. This section feels like strolling through a sublime garden, stopping to admire and critique the classic statues of the Magic Boy, Sacred Androgyne, Lover, Elder, Shaman/Healer, Warrior, and Explorer. These archetypes are not unattainable ideals, however: we must learn to identify and reclaim their qualities as our own. This is not a book for the passive-minded male -- i.e., someone who wants a book to do his self-inquiry for him. But if you seek a book to help you do that tough yet absolutely necessary work, get this toolbox for the gay spirit. Better come prepared to work, though - journal, pen, and psyche in hand - and be transformed.



2. This book focuses on the challenges faced by gay men and those with whom they associate. I believe it should be an essential part of any therapist's library. The author writes from a multi-level perspective, focusing on a particular circumstances that gay men may find challenging in each chapter. Advice is given on when to consider therapy, how to relate to oneself, one's past, and society in general. For many years therapists and other professionals have struggled with the immense difficulties this population faces and they will find excellent insight into the special needs of gay men as well as an outstanding model of working with gay men who have problems. The discussion on spirituality is especially interesting as it addresses the obstacles gay men face with organized religion and how it may affect them. The author's style of writing shows empathy and insight that will appeal to readers. It is a clear and honest look at this important issue.

4 comments about Restore Your Magnificence: A Life-Changing Guide to Reclaiming Your Self-Esteem.

1. This is an excellent life-changing book. It is easy to read and follow the exercises. You will have a different perspective and better self-esteem by the time you finish the book. I wish I had this book in my teens. Definitely worth reading!



2. Restore Your Magnificence: A Life-Changing Guide To Reclaiming Your Self-Esteem by Joe Rubino is a superbly presented and "reader friendly" self-help instructional which is enhanced with a series of psychological and emotional exercises geared toward better understanding oneself and freeing oneself from the morass of low self-esteem and self-sabotage. A powerful and uplifting guide to improving one's outlook and capabilities, Restore Your Magnificence is a welcome and recommended addition to personal self-help, self-improvement reading lists and reference collections.



3. I grew up with very low self esteem, and it has affected my adult life in a very negative way, ie...settling for less than what I want, relationships ending, no self respect, etc.
   I bought this book about a month ago, and the impact on my way of thinking and behaving is awesome! I know I will always have to fight my bad habits from the past, but this book has given me the tools to change my life!



4. A must read to anyone who is planning to create a successful life for themselves!

No comments about Breaking Free from a Negative Self-Image (Breaking Free Series).

5 comments about What Southern Women Know About Flirting: The Fine Art of Social, Courtship, and Seductive Flirting to Get the Best Things.

1. I am almost done with the book, and I've laughed at several idiosyncrasies that are so typical! It'll be the first time in awhile that I've actually finished a whole book! It's too bad our generation has swayed away from what she talks about; little did I know, I was already doing some of the things that are suggested, and already got out of a late fee on a credit card statement! It really goes back to the way things "were" - and frankly how they should still be! Rhonda does a great job illustrating that.



2. I agree with the previous southern lady. I too am a 150*Per cent* southern lady and find this book to be so cute as well as true!
   I think it was probably written in good humor but some females will actually try her ideas to get a man with hopefully good luck [grin]
   The other readers will also see how it is obviously intended...for fun only! I have truly enjoyed reading all of Rhonda's books. Highly recommend to every woman from...north to south...east to west!



3. Right on, Ronda! Those of us who already practice these techniques know they work. The women who need this most will write it off as offensive and absurd. You will not change men. It's the way men are, the way they've always been; and thank heaven for that. The anecdote about her New York agent is, unfortunately, very telling.



4. Congratulations, Ms Rich on a fabulous read... I know now that I just don't wink often enough! I have found some great ideas in here that I plan to practise a lot more of although I may have to tone it down a little as we do not flirt so over the top in Australia! We are definitely more laid back than even in the South!
   
   Regarding Social Firting: Rhonda Rich makes an excellent point about being feminine at work and getting ahead this way as opposed to trying to be "one of the boys". Men, I believe, fight dirtier with these type of women than they would with other men. I have witnessed true examples of this.
   
   Ms. Rich makes excellent points throughout the book that are old-fashioned but certainly timeless and proven. BUT I believe we need to carefully select our flirt targets as we don't want a stalker on our high-heeled, sexy trails! Go ahead: Wink, smile but perhaps be a little wary.
   
   Whoops! I just remembered... better go shopping for that red teddy tomorrow!



5. This book has really polished me up. I throughly enjoyed it and take the book very seriously. I have read it more than once.

1 comments about A Little Book of Listening Skills: A Collection of Essential Practices For Conveying Genuine Love and Respect.

1. This is a precious little book that is filled with simple, direct and thought provoking ideas for how to learn to listen better. Having utilized several of them and contemplated many others, I can state confidently that you will be changed by this book as much as you open yourself to the possibility. Everyone can learn to listen more effectively and objectively and this book is a great tool to assist in that process.

5 comments about 365 Prescriptions for the Soul: Daily Messages of Inspiration, Hope, and Love.

1. Dr. Bernie Siegel MD writes with humorous, down-to-earth wisdom that has improved the lives of countless readers. Now he treats us to his most user-friendly work of all: daily doses of inspiration and humor that gently and joyfully help us live more peaceful, loving, and fulfillinglives. "Bernie is one of the world's most respected doctors. I would pay close attention to any prescription he offers. I read from this each day."

   - Wayne Dyer, author and speaker




2. ". . . Worry? Guilt? Money? Each page ("Prescription) of this book has a theme. 'Cooperation' (Prescription #101). for example, talks about what humankind could achieve if we worked together. 'Sunset' (Prescription #187) suggests that all worries and troubles should be released at the end of the day. Each reading begins with a quote pertinent to the title theme, followed by a discussion of the topic. The page ends with a positive "Soulution of the Day."
   365 PRESCRIPTIONS FOR THE SOUL can be read day-by-day, or opened at random for an immediate dose of comfort and encouragement. As Dr. Siegel has prescribed: "Read two pages -- and call me in the morning."
   ----Science of Mind Magazine



3. The presentation is easy to read and understand. It covers
   advice aimed at living life to the fullest. Read this work
   to help cheer you up or add a spiritual dimension at just the
   right time. Samples of Dr. Siegel's witicisms are:
   o Laughter is the most beautiful exertion.
   o Men have become the tools of their tools.
   o Hard work never killed anybody; but, why take a chance.

   Some of the jokes contained herein would be perfect for parties
   and social gatherings of every sort. The book is a good value
   for the information content alone. This work could be used
   for daily readings.




4. What a wonderful soul inspiring book. It perpetuates the tenacity and perserverance that is part of the woman in all of us. The book, Purposefully Made by I. Fountaine Allen is also a must read.



5. >all< of Dr. Bernie S. Siegel's books and cd, are >excellent< . you will be glad you bought them.

4 comments about I Deserve Love: How Affirmations Can Guide You to Personal Fulfillment.

1. This book explains affirmations in a very clear way and gives you hundreds of well-formulated examples you can use. It covers blocks to love and sexual pleasure. Sondra is no prude. She bravely tackles such topics as incest, masturbation and impotence. By the way, if you ever get a chance to meet the author or take a workshop from her, she is by far the most impressive new age celebrity I have encountered.



2. Please locate a copy of this book for me! I would even buy a used copy of it. It is a GREAT book. I lost my copy and I am unable to locate another anywhere.



3. This is a great book and deserves to be in print; I've referred it to numerous friends. Within 3 days of reading it, I met my wonderful husband - that was 9 years ago! The book is easy to read and the affirmations are powerful.



4. This book is one of the best I have ever read. She explains affirmations thoroughly and even gives you a little test in the beginning so you can prove the power of affirmations for yourself. That was what hooked me in the beginning; a book that actually worked and for which the author made claims! I met my current husband about two months after I got this book and started working with the affirmations, and that was in 1978 (even though the site here shows 1983 as publication date, my copy of the book says 1976.) Not to say that our marriage has been perfect, far from it!!, but it's been perfect for both of us. If it wasn't for my husband, I wouldn't be sober and have the life and career I have today. I've given this book numerous times and will be doing it for many more years. The best affirmations primer, in my view.

3 comments about The Great Connection.

1. EXCELLENT resource for college age students to learn how to interact and gain interpersonal skills. Easy to read (you can finish it in one day) and understand, this book describes how to best communicate with four different styles of individuals. I use this book as a supplement to my management text in college level courses. This is one book students ALWAYS FINISH!!!!! Can't say enough about it.....READ IT AND SEE FOR YOURSELF!



2. The Great Connection turned out to be The Great Captivator! I'm one of those who enjoys 'stretching' a good book over time, but I just couldn't put this one down from the moment I dove into the first chapter. Four hours later, I sat back amazed that I had read this book cover to cover in one sitting and, not only enjoyed a great story, but discovered some very important life lessons. The author has done a tremendous job weaving insightful information into a page-turning story.
   
   If you have a pulse, you'll love this book!



3. Hippocrates was the first one to observe that people tend to fall into four behavioral styles. So what if your team members could really nail those four styles? What if you could dramatically increase their effectiveness with customers, partners, donors, board members and colleagues? What if they were better listeners?
   
   It's subtitled "A Story That Reveals Life's Most Vital Lesson: How to Connect With Others--Especially Yourself." That's the big idea behind this book. Know yourself--because you are your highest priority, says Warren. Then understand both the effective traits and the ineffective traits of your style and the other three styles. (Can you name your top-5 most ineffective traits?) It's all about connecting and adapting to other styles--and, as you'll see in this book, the results can be amazing.
   
   The book is not boring theory. It's a quick-reading business story about a radio talk show host that is superb at interviewing guests--but doesn't know what he doesn't know about the four styles: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. (They correspond to the four styles of Drivers, Expressives, Amiables and Analyticals--as described in the People Bucket in my book, Mastering The Management Buckets: 20 Critical Competencies for Leading Your Business or Non-profit.)
   
   Plus, there's a bonus insight on how to listen (culled from the talk show host's years of interviewing). That section alone is golden. Step 1: Tell me about...; Step 2: Signposts; Step 3: Brief inserts; Step 4: Pause; and Step 5: Summarize. Read that chapter and you'll never listen the same way again. Guaranteed.
   
   Before you pass on this book, ask yourself:
   1. Can I describe the behavioral styles of my boss and four people I supervise or work with? Which person is the best listener? Why?
   2. What would happen if I became really, really proficient at understanding both the effective traits and the ineffective traits of my boss?