1 comments about Stress-Management and Self-Esteem Activities (Just for the Health of It!, Unit 5).

1. I am a counselor at a middle school and I use this book all of the time. The pages are easy to copy and the instructions are not hard to understand. I have a lot of books but this series, Just for the health of it, is by far the best. I highly recommend this workbook for anyone working with adolescents.

1 comments about Healthy Body Cards (Beautiful Card Deck).

1. This is a great way to get in touch and learn to be aware and love each part of your body.

4 comments about When I Say No I Feel Guilty, Vol. II, for Managers and Executives.

1. I read "When I say no, I feel guilty" (Vol 1) and it changed my life. I found Smith's second Assertiveness book, "Yes, I can so no" and I loved that too. But that book is out of print and hard to find. Most of the information from "Yes, I can say no", however, may be found in Vol II. That is why NON-executives, who want to be assertive, SHOULD NOT BE PUT OFF FROM BUYING THIS BOOK.

   Information not inc. in "When I say no, I feel guilty" (Vol 1), but inc. in THIS vol. (and "Yes, I can say no"):

   *The structure of manipulation

   *Smith's method for finding out WHAT REALLY UPSETS YOU ABOUT AN ISSUE.

   *A better talk about your assertive rights and why it is in your interest to be assertive.

   Since MUCH of the information in this book was reproduced in "Yes, I can say no", if you have the rare out of print book, the ONLY new information would be what Smith has to say about the world of work.

   Thus, some might not find this book useful.

   For my money, I am glad that I have all three of his books.




2. Dr. Manuel J. Smith takes the assertive principles laid down in his national best-seller WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY and applies them to the work and business world. He shows conflicts from the viewpoint of both the employer and employee, from worker to manager alike. It's not about bullying people to get our own way but rather about making your needs known and working through the problems that are bound to come up in any shop or office.
   
   I particularly like his definition of "manipulation:" it is when people try to reduce our ability to be our own judge, especially by trying to make us feel guilty, anxious or ignorant. He then gives some verbal techniques to help us handle ourselves while making our needs known.
   
   The value of this book goes far beyond the office or factory. I read a lot of inspirational and self-help books, and this is one that I read over a lot of times to reinforce the principles. Contrary to a popular misunderstanding of assertiveness, it does not have to make us meaner or more aggressive -- at times it can even make us nicer, since we don't have to resort to aggression and meanness to get what we want.
   
   Even if you haven't read WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY, you will still finish this book knowing exactly what Dr. Smith is talking about. As mentioned in another review on this page, a lot of the material in this book is covered in his (unfortunately) out of print book YES, I CAN SAY NO which aims at teaching assertive principles to children. So if you have that one, some of what is in this one would be a bit (but not completely) repititious. However, this book is a valuable resource for how to act on the job, and I can't recommend it highly enough for us "grown kids."



3. I read the original "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" years ago in an "encounter group" college class in group dynamics and it was easily one of the most useful books I've read in my life. This book is a worthy alternative to the original. It isn't really a sequel, despite the Volume II tag. Dr. Smith has essentially published his UCLA assertiveness training seminar activities (all of which revolve around the same techniques he taught im the first book). If you haven't read the first book, don't worry - Dr. Smith will get you up to speed very quickly.
   
   I consider this an alternative to the original book because its core strategies are nearly the same. The focus, however, is different. This time around, Dr. Smith provides ample examples for how to apply assertiveness training techniques to business settings. It's also a more contemporary book and Dr. Smith's examples are often good-humored and amusing, which encourages you to keep reading.
   
   I really like the way Dr. Smith helps the reader to learn to listen better to others, to build upon what they are saying in conversation, to build upon free information to develop a more mutually satisfying exchange, and how to simply and politely avoid caving into manipulative techniques. These are all skills most of us can improve, and rather than devolve into a touchy-feely approach, Dr. Smith gives us techniques and strategies firmly rooted in applied behavior modification.
   
   Unlike other books, Dr. Smith does not imply that he will turn you into a super-assertive Terminator who always gets his own way. In fact, he encourages you to carefully explore your own motivations and avoid coming on like gangbuster unless the situation absolutely calls for it. Nor is this book intended to be entirely self-contained. You should really get out there and explore some of the foundations of behavior modification and communication to continue learning.
   
   There's only one caveat - and I don't feel guilty for mentioning it. This book could have used another round of proofreading. If you are a proofer or editor yourself, you'll notice typos and other oddities that really ought to have been corrected. It doesn't detract from the informational value of the book at all, and so I didn't dock any stars for it.



4. Unfortunately, not very practical. While the "broken record" technique will work in many situations, when you use the assertiveness techniques advised in the book you are supposed to completely ignore the consequences of your own behaviour.

5 comments about Actualizations: You Don't Have to Rehearse to Be Yourself.

1. I have have owned many copies of this book because I give them away or people just walk off with them! I have been rereading it for fifteen years and always find new inspiration.

   It is wonderful to know that such wisdom is at our fingertips and I just wish we could all read the same book--as in "You Don't Have to Rehearse to Be Yourself."

   Whether you are looking for inspiration or trying to communicate with your loved ones better or looking for more success in life, this is definitely the book to read.

   It's a classic.




2. I'm not much for self-help books! However, I wish I had found this book years ago. It is universal, timeless, and a "real" handbook for life. I want to give a copy to everyone I know. It's about much more than transforming relationships in the traditional sense. No, it's not another love book or "Women are from Mars and Men are from Venus" kind of book. It's about our relationship with ourself and our life as much as it is about our relationship with lovers, friends, parents, children, or co-workers. Emery in a very simple manner explains how to make our life and our relationships workable. He highlights ideas, perceptions, and self images that don't work for us (any of us) and explains where they came from. He explains the mechanics of it in a way that makes it easy to execute. This is a very simple book, easy to read, and one that I will read many times. It will be the first gift I give to anyone I have a romantic relationship with in the future.



3. About 30 years ago my then 20-yr-old son attended Stewrt Emery's 4-day workshop in San Francisco. It dramatically changed his life - forever!
   The Actualizations book is the workshop in written form. Through the years I have given the book to several people with the same amazing results. I recently gave a copy to my married adult niece. After just starting it, this is what she wrote to me: "This book was written just for me. It is as if it were written directly to me from the writer. How does he know all these things that he knows?" Whatever the circumstances of one's life, this book applies.



4. I spent several years being a confirmed self-help junkie. I read everything I could get my hands on, went to seminars and was a passionate seeker. When I finished this book, I remember thinking, "I don't have to ever read another self-help book." Of course, I have read many others, but ACTUALIZATIONS remains my all-time favorite. It's profoundly full of memorable ideas and insights. You may find yourself quoting it to your friends. Quite simply, Stewart Emery is one of the best teachers I've ever encountered.



5. If you are into self discovery and for thinkers, I got these recommendations from another writer, I read them and highly enjoyed them. These two books are very easy to comprehend, and they are one of a kind. Check it out
   RUMI & SELF PSYCHOLOGY (PSYCHOLOGY OF TRANQUILITY)
   and
   SARA'S THERAY: THE WAY TO PURITY (A SESSION BY SESSION TALK OF AN ACTUAL THERAPY PROCESS OF SELF GROWTH).

5 comments about Real Gorgeous: The Truth about Body and Beauty.

1. Real Gorgeous is a well-rounded myth-buster about various aspects of the beauty and diet industries. The cartoons are crazy and humorous, the writing easy and witty. While definitely geared toward adolescents and young adults, the information isn't exclusively helpful to that age range. Recommended for any girls entering puberty or your Cosmo-obsessed friends who buy every new moisturizer & wrinkle-cream on the market. Actually, recommended to everyone just for the one cartoon about the devil and food.



2. Who is Kaz Cooke and why haven't I heard of her? Cooke is another creative artist from down under. The Australian writer, cartoonist, filmmaker and columnist has a slew of works to her name. She is the creator of Hermoine, the Modern Girl, a colourful caricature who's also featured between the pages of Real Gorgeous.
   
   Real Gorgeous is about body shapes, body parts, exercise, plastic surgery, fashion, dieting, advertising, modelling, eating disorders, responding to the body police and so much more. Yes, it's a women's book but it is often directed toward girls too. It touches on so many topics relating to the body and beauty; providing some research, some quotes and some of the authors own opinions. Each chapter has suggestions for further reading.
   
   Real Gorgeous isn't a fat book but a body image book. Anyone is sure to find at least one of the anecdotes in the shadow boxes, placed throughout each chapter, to relate to. If there's one thing, this book shows it's that body image issues are more of a global issue than just within our group of friends. Canadians, Australians, and Americans are all dealing with similar issues regarding body image. Body image issues are also not delegated to one body type. Fat people don't have the monopoly on bad body image.
   
   It acknowledges the impact of family, friends, media and self perception on body image. Cooke exposes the fashion and diet industry for what they are... People "trying to sell you something." She is quick to point out all the money we spend needlessly and what we're really getting for it. A real eye opener.
   
   Cooke summarizes a lot of points from others work to back up what she's saying. Not a page goes by without a quote from someone else. Many relevant quotes from Penelope Goward appear. There are quite a few anonymous quotes like, "a New York make-up artist says..." which I found irritating and at times caused me to question their validity.
   
   Sometimes it seems Cooke is checking to see if the reader is paying attention and will stick in nonsense comments, like during a listing of healthy eating she added, "Don't stick popcorn up your nose." Silly but unexpected and funny none the less.
   
   There's an excellent section called Body Image Boosters the reader can return to again and again for ideas on how to give yourself a break from your own negativity. One of my favourite sections is what to say to the "Body Police". You know those people who never really have anything nice to say to you or who offer a compliment with a negative tag on the end.
   
   Real Gorgeous is an informative, light read with many sections for the stop and start reader. It provides an alternative look at the body and beauty from a personal perspective and that of others. An excellent book to have around.
   
   Review Originally Posted at http://largeandlovely.bellaonline.com



3. "Road to Hell is paved with good intentions" - that's an exact characteristic of this book. Busting the unrealistic self-image sold to (or stuffed into) us by media and corporations is a great intention. But the book runs to the opposite extreme. Its main message repeated over and over is "Whatever you are - that's normal. Don't do anything, trust you body in its candy cravings and food selection and be happy, even if you ARE looking like a space-porker." Excuse me, but our modern environment, food quality and living habits are far, far away from being normal. And to restore the balance, to get close to a slight resemblance of normal the huge work needs to be done, including strict restraining yourself from over-eating over-processed over-refined food and getting a lot and lot of exercise. Suggested 15-20 minutes three times a week is laughable, you might as well call pushing button on your TV remote an exercising...



4. Great book about women, self-esteem, & the research that has been done about mass media's impact. The pop culture references are a little dated but the message is still outstanding.



5. I read this book then purchased it as gifts for several friends. Its written by an Australian author who uses amusing and straight forward language to illustrate how media and other influences impact our self esteems and how to begin to deal with it. This book is well-written and is a great book for people who want to have a realistic and balanced perspective on their bodies.

5 comments about Born for Love: Reflections on Loving.

1. This is a very beautiful book; and very easy to read. Each page is like a short story that defines love, and makes the reader drunk with joy, if you will.

   One of my favorite messages in this book reads, "Even when no one else seems to recognize how truly remarkable we are, we always have ourselves, the one inexhaustible resource for positive reinforcement, the one person who will always proudly wave our personal flag."

   This is a wonderful message to use as an affirmation, because as one says these words, out loud, with closed eyes, 3 times per day, for 21 days (enough time to form new habits), you see, feel and hear more of your connection to the human race.

   And it is in this new place, one is able to transcend the self and focus upon the needs of others around us, while we fulfill our own needs.

   It is also the best way to follow the path that you are here to travel.




2. "Staying in love requires far more of us. To satisfy the senses may be the major challenge for some, but it is actually the easiest part. The mind and spirit require continual attention and stimulation as well. It is not until we assume responsibility for the enhancement of the total self that love will survive."

   Paragraphs like this and many others make this book very worthwhile.

   Jeffrey McAndrew
   author of "Our Brown-Eyed Boy"




3. Dr. Buscaglia has accomplished something here that is a miracle in itself. To be able to describe love and compassion so clearly and in such a readable way is an amazing achievement. When he walked with us, he always said that he would not tolerate "follow the guru". He knew, at this great time of awakening, that we must become aware of the divine within us. And he has helped us so much, as students of compassion, with this wonderful contribution. It is filled with treasures that will enrich your life. Thank you Leo!



4. Leo Buscaglia never received the recognition he deserved for being an inspiration without being overly religious or dogmatic. His humor and insight are realistic and applicable to all humanity. This book simply defines what we all hope to achieve but often fail at, unconditional love. A funny, inspirational and thought-provoking book.



5. 
   This book is a must read for everyone who wants to understand Love and Life! Fantastic book!

2 comments about The Self Matters Companion : Helping You Create Your Life from the Inside Out.

1. This workbook is especially useful to use alongside Self Matters. I find it helpful in my work with clients and they enjoy discussing the insights they get from it. Pamela D. Blair, Author The Next Fifty Years: A Guide for Women at Mid-Life And Beyond



2. Dr. Phil illustrates complex comcepts in understandable terms. This book helped me see myself through the mirror of my past.

No comments about Building the Best You: A Two-Year Discovery Journal.

5 comments about Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships.

1. Take Back Your Life: Recovering From Cults and Abusive Relationships by co-authors Janja Lalich (Associate Professor of Sociology at California State University, Chico) & Madeleine Tobias (The Clinical Coordinator and a psycho therapist at the Vet Center in White River Junction) is a self-help resource for survivors of harmful relationships, whether with an individual or a group, and their loved ones. Chapters explain in plain terms the siren call abusive relationships have some people, and the confusion, low self-esteem, and post-traumatic stress experienced by the victim, along with suggestions for picking up the pieces of one's life and embracing the healing process. Of special note are the chapters addressing problems with family members and children in cults, and therapeutic concerns. Take Back Your Life is written primarily for lay readers however, and is a very sober, serious, and practical guide.



2. As an ex cultic relationship survivor cum exit counselor in training I can attest to this being the most comprehensive and helpful book to date I,ve read. THis book definitely encompasses all facets of what it is to go through the aftermath of a cultic experience. It is a warm and welcome friend as I repair my life. It is a must for not only the survivor but for the support system that helps the survivor repair the damage done. Best to all!



3. Incredibly comprehensive and poignant. As a cult survivor, I've read a lot of cult-related materials, and this one just struck a deep nerve, where others didn't quite have the same effect. It's also the only one that my partner is willing to read. He says that this book is a much more relatable piece than any other book I've suggested, and states that it brings cult experiences down to a layman's level to understanding these past experiences and some of its lasting effects.



4. I keep "Take Back Your Life: Recovering From Cults and Abusive Relationships" on my bedside table, my living room end table, and everywhere I can grab a chance to read it. I keep a pen right in the book, because I am underlining so many passages, and marking others with stars. This book is extremely practical, giving very specific suggestions for recovery, even while it covers material that is incredibly deep and analytical. I could not recommend it more highly! This book will help you help yourself to extricate your emotions and thoughts from the negative past, and build new freedoms into your life. CW



5. this is a great book for when you have left a cult and you did some work on yourself allready and you need to check again what happened

5 comments about From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman's Journey through Divorce [UNABRIDGED].

1. Women going through any stage of divorce will find that this book is one they will want to use on a daily basis. I am not divorced, but have shared it with a family member who is going through a divorce, and she was so thrilled with the advice and support the few pages she read gave her, that I ordered one for her for a Christmas gift.
   
   This book is written by a woman, for women. I know when I read it there was not only good advice for the newly divorced, but there is advice that I have found myself using.
   
   This book covers every aspect of divorce, from the legal issues, to how to deal with being single again. Other topics covered include helping your children get through the divorce; coping with holidays; the need to get help through therapy; abuse; emotions, and dating again. There are many, many more issues discussed, but these give you an idea of the range of issues covered in the book.
   
   What I really like about the book is the format. It is set up to be read like a log book, one page a day (each page covers a seperate issue), but because there is an index, it is easy to look up items that the reader may need advice on, or may want to re-read.
   
   This is a book that I highly recommend for any woman going through a divorce. My cousin said she was handling things okay, but after reading just a few pages, she realized that there were things that she should be dealing with, but was either avoiding, or in denial about. Just a few pages of reading gave her hope and strength, as well as a sense that she was going to be okay. I think that is the best testimonial to the effectiveness of a book there is!



2. I found this wonderful book to be both soothing and a great resource. Every topic I had questions about was addressed. I found it easy to read one day at a time, but the index makes it possible to address any topic on any given day. This book would make a thoughtful gift for a friend in any of the stages of divorce or separation.



3. A wonderful companion for anyone going through a separation, a divorce or in the process of redefining themselves. Donna Ferber's words offer valuable information, support and comfort to those caught in the often confusing and isolated process of divorce. The index allows for questions to be answered as needed and the daily essays guides one through the complexities of issues and emotions experienced during the separation process. From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life gives you the feeling that you are not alone in the world.
   P.S. Some of the essays are great for men and family too. Donna has insightful wisdom and guidance for helping children through the separation process as well. The essays assist the family to grow even if the marriage ends.



4. I was searching 'divorce' on Amazon.com and found "From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life..." The title caught my eye and I thought if this book is half as good as the title, I have to get it. I had no idea how helpful this book would be. The goal of this book is to read a page a day, and have a thought or purpose for each day. Some days don't apply to me, so I just skip that page, other days are so in tune with what I am going through, it's as if Donna is writing just for me. If you are going through a divorce; whether it is your decision or your husband's, this book is a must-have.



5. With wisdom and encouragement Donna Ferber takes the reader through the first 365 emotionally charged days which often follow a divorce.
   
   Each page, reflecting another day in that year, takes on a new topic during this often tumultuous time and helps pave the path to a smoother and more fulfilling life; one that is filled with strength and joy rather than longing and pain.
   
   I wish the book had been written when I went through my own divorce many years ago. Now happily remarried, I still take pleasure in reading the daily affirmations placed at the end of each day's lesson. They apply to us all who wish to live a more serene and positive life.
   
   Well crafted and sensitive, FROM EX-WIFE TO EXCEPTIONAL LIFE is a gorgeous book that will help all women - divorced, divorcing, married or single - grow in spirit and strength.
   
   Donna Ferber, you are, indeed, an exceptional woman and I thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom.