5 comments about God Is at Eye Level: Photography as a Healing Art.

1. I found Jan's latest book to be wonderful. I love the exersizes and recently did one called "Portrait Day". Only I changed it to "Portrait Party". I invited my good friends over, told them to wear something that expressed their essence and set up my kitchen as a make shift "studio". It even has a pocket door so our "sessions" could be done in private. Each woman came in and each "shoot" was wonderfully unique and different. Light refreshments were provided and everyone enjoyed themselves. At the end of the day we did several fun group photos. This week we're getting together for a "viewing" of all the photos so we can see what the others did. Everyone wants to do another one - It was a great experience for everyone involved. Thank you Jan!



2. "God is at Eye Level" is a beautiful book--a moving book. Here Jan Phillips discusses the healing effect of photography on the personal and sociological levels. The design, photographs, quote-selections, and lucid writing are artfully woven together to produce an evocative read.

   Several sub-themes radiate, all reinforced with illuminating quotes from famous artists and thinkers. Among my favorite themes is the relevance of "the moment," or "the present." As Jan says, when embarking on an "excursion of seeing, the rest of one's life is temporarily on hold. There is nothing to reckon with but the moment at hand." When anchored in the present, one's regrets and fears tend to dissolve. You are treated with a "sweet joy" and the healing nature of a "now" orientation.

   Your photographs reflect who you are. As a result, you can discover as much about seeing inside yourself as the world outside. When you go out and shoot, Jan says, "honor your instincts, for the images that result are like clues to a treasure hunt," symbols which later tell you who you are, where you've been, and where you are going.

   Jan tries to develop a relationship with everyone she photographs. She strives to achieve empathy with all her subjects. For her, the relationship comes first. Her portraits grow out of this closeness and express the intimacy from which they emerge. As a result, a portrait reflects the authenticity of a person's spirit.

   Jan discusses the healing influence photography has upon society. She cites several photographers whose work evoked a national response and encouraged social reform. Among others, Jan includes the work of Dorothea Lange (migrant farmers) and Laura Gilpin (Navajos).

   And lastly, many photographers wait until they are inspired before they go shooting. Jan says that for her, inspiration comes while working, not before it. The key is to start working, then discover while underway. Once you do, you will experience the healing nature of photography.




3. Although the photographs and quotes are inspiring, I found the directives to be less than constructive. One directive suggests that you "take a deep breath and then THROW AWAY all photographs you have taken that are out of focus or too light or too dark". What? I was so dissappointed in that conventional criticism. The impression I got was that there is a very specific "right vs. wrong" way to 'spiritual photography'. If the book is based loosely on methods of Art Therapy, or rather, Photographic Arts Therapy, it seems to have missed the mark. Photography in my opinion, should be more about the creative process and creating visual communication rather than making a technically-sound, conventional-looking photograph. Very disappointing.



4. I happened to notice this wonderful, soulful, book at a local bookstore and was moved by the deceptive simplicity of its title and peaceful image on the cover to pick it up and thumb through its pictures; I was floored by the sincere depth of its message.
   
   The book is a sublime gem that anyone who is interested in what photography is all about, what life is all about, and what their *soul* is all about, owes it to themselves to keep by their side! It will deepen and nourish your relationship with the world.
   
   Jan Philips is a rare creature who is equally well proficient, gifted even, in both effortlessly capturing the timeless beauty and spirit of nature in her photos and providing an eloquent written context for those images to help others find the sacred in the "ordinary." Leafing even through only a few pages will leave almost surely leave one with a sense of tranquility; reading over the entire book, a few times perhaps, depending on mood and temperament, cannot fail to leave even the most downtroden of souls feeling joyful at simply being alive and having the privelage at marveling at life's beauty. The book, in short, is all about how *everything that one looks at* -- and most of all the inner "I" that is always lurking somewhere in the mysterious depths of our souls looking outward through our "eyes" -- is nothing but God looking in.
   
   This is a small treasure of a book that is now on the short list of books I will never part with. Highly recommended.



5. I discovered this book, and more profoundly the work of Jan Phillips, when my book club chose God is at Eye Level as our next book. We took it one chapter at a time and dove in deeply to experience the images, the reflections, and the prompts Jan offers. It's a rich and visually delicious book, a path for a thoughtful inner journey, a call to explore the impact of how we see the world through a camera lens / through our own eyes, and so much more.
   Corrie Woods, author of The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living: Practical Steps for Living a Big, Bold, Beautiful Life!

5 comments about Power Is Within You.

1. After one line in "You Can Heal Your Life" had a profound effect on me, I decided to buy this book, "The Power is Within You". Right off, Louise Hay distinguishes between realizing your power and feeling like a victim. Yes, these two supposed opposite concepts can be confused! Who knew?
   
   I highly recommend this book, whether as your first Louise Hay or your tenth. Each of us, she writes, needs to remind ourself that we can be strong and powerful and move toward our goals....without waiting for someone else's permission to do so! By the way, the line that affected me so deeply was "I approve of myself" repeated over and over. Now I don't need others' approval! Please buy this book for yourself.



2. I discovered the Law of Attraction about a month or so ago watching the Oprah show where she was showing a segment again on the topic of Law of Attraction. The guest were Louise Hay, Cheryl Richardson and another fasinating woman, I cannot remember her name. I went to the bookstore the very next day to puchase a book by Louise Hay. I found The Power is Within You. A wonderful read for me. I was moved by Louise's words of what you think about yourself is what really counts. She suggests that one must focus on what the negatives are in one's life that keeps them from moving forward and get past them. She also believes everyone should do affirmations daily.
   
   As we all know, society is very demanding and judgemental of what everyone is doing or should be doing according to their own standards. Louise explains that it should not matter. I always keep in mind a quote I read somewhere "Everybody wants the freedom to choose their own best course in life--AND the ability to choose everyone else's as well. Well, that is not how is should be. We as individuals are responsible for our own live's. If everyone followed their own path in life, chaos in the world today could be eliminated.
   
   Everyone should read this book and familiarize themselves with The Law of Attraction.



3. A great book! I would encourage the millions who care about themselves to read it.



4. i've read lots and lots of self help books, and this one is by far the most complex , profound and interesting, it's like 15 books in one ! love it :D to cheap for how good it is !



5. This is an exellent book by Louise Hay! It really open your eyes and help us to see that our thoughts create our lives. Read "You Can Heal Your Life" first and follow-up with this one. I feel I am more positive and living in the moment of now after reading this book. Well worth the money!

No comments about Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body.

5 comments about Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self.

1. The book is very informative and brings to the fore a great concept of self. If the theory holds up to time and testing it should be very worthwhile reading for anyone whose life has not been a great big bowl of Cherries!!! The author need not throw $10 words at the lay reader(much more familiar words would have been more appropriate) and the flow of text could have been a little smoother.



2. Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self
   
   This is the most readable and cogent explanation of shame to those of us born and bred with that heritage, not knowing it was not the norm for sense of self and relationships. Excellent! I read it in 1992 and am rereading it and sharing it with those who live with the taint of shame.



3. The Editorial Review by the Library Journal has it totally wrong! Affect Psychology, as presented in this easy to read book, will open your mind to a new way of thinking about human emotions. The hardest emotion for the reader will be shame, and as shame is described it may interrupt your interest and excitement as you read. Press on! Once you really understand what he has to say, you will never again view your own or others emotions in the same way. This book's concepts are accessible, useable, and extremely applicable in today's crazy world.



4. This book is based on the affect theory of Silvan Tomkins. I have read Tomkins' original works on affect theory. They are brilliant but somewhat remote and academic. Tomkins' view that affects supply the greatest part of our motivation is revolutionary (It is not your drive to survive that helps you to leap out of the way of the oncoming car, it is your fear affect). It leads to an entirely new way of understanding human behavior. Nathanson explains Tomkins' theories in a much more accessible way, but beware, this is another brilliant author who says more in a single sentence than most of us can squeeze into a paragraph. Hence, it can be dense reading. I have read the book three times, and I get more out of it every time I read it.
   
   Nathanson's focus is on shame and, for me, it was an eye-opening experience to realize how pervasive shame is in almost everything we do. Nathanson is an eloquent writer and a keen observer; he shows how shame and pride influence our lives in so many (often invisible) ways.
   
   Reading this book produced a major paradigm shift for me. I now feel that shame is the most under-appreciated emotion that anyone brings to therapy (I am a therapist). The stigma associated with shame is so great that therapists have glossed over it for years, choosing to focus on the issues that produce shame (such as Freud's focus on sexuality) rather than directly address the shameful feelings about the self that plague so many people who seek therapy. Why? Because we therapists are as vulnerable to those feelings as anyone else. And in order to help others with their feelings of shame, we have to be willing and able to access our own.
   
   This may well be the most important book to appear in the mental health field in decades. It deals with a topic that almost everyone would prefer to avoid. But if you read it, you are likely to be better able to manage your own shame and to help others with theirs.



5. This approach of combining natural, inborn affect, having been observed and studied in infants for decades, with the human developmental process with its resulting emotion is brilliant. I have often been baffled at the complete disregard for shame in the human experience. It is as though the whole world is too ashamed to acknowledge the truth of how they really feel about themselves or how they think they are perceived by others. And the reality of affect broadcasting! How could six billion people collectively, unconsciously choose to put their blinders on and ignore the underlying mechanics of the human experience for so long. How about the description of affect broadcasting? Finally, a beginning model of the personal-social experiences, a reasoning behind social mores and their enforcement! What a pleasure to acquire such useful understanding from a book. I spent years of my own life trying to put the pieces together, putting myself in shameful situation after another (such as the pursuit of mastery of difficult, seemingly unattainable skills and accomplishments, such as professional music performance at high levels and with special emphasis on my weakness as opposed to natural strengths in front of unsympathetic, self-absorbed and cruel audiences. Suffice to say, through years of discipline and tenacity I achieved some excellent skills and experience) trying to understand the Rosetta Stone behind the human experience. This book helped provide a few key pieces to the puzzle. I was riveted! It is a fairly easy read to boot!

5 comments about Venus on Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them.

1. In the franchising business, franchisors have long known to look for husband-and-wife teams where the wife runs the marriage and the business . . . and keeps the books while the man follows her orders ungrudgingly until he drops from fatigue. If you recruit dominant males instead, the wife stays at home . . . and you get only one person working on the business rather than two. The only downside to these hard-working couples is that when the men hit their 50s, they often run off with a submissive female employee and stop working on the business. Smart franchisors help these couples sell their franchise businesses at that point to pay for the divorce settlement.
   
   What's that story got to do with Venus on Top? More than you would expect. Many women are born to lead in their work, their businesses and in their marriages. Pair those women with men who want to lead in the same ways . . . and you have one leader too many. Pair them with a man who wants to follow and please them, and you can have a recipe for more successful marriages.
   
   I decided to read this book to gain more perspective on my great grandparents and parents . . . where in both generations the women led. The men followed silently in their wake . . . but not always happily. This book echoed one phrase the males all learned early in our family, "When the women are happy, the men are happy."
   
   Ms. Abernathy describes her experiences with three failed marriages and her conclusions about how women who want to lead at work and at home can find compatible males who will enjoy that kind of relationship. She also provides advice for those who are willing to be a woman who follows her husband's lead . . . but the primary value of this book comes for those who want to know how to get what they want . . . and know what that is.
   
   Much of the book is based on Jung, studies of ancient goddess-based religions, positive thinking and self-help methods. If you are familiar with those subjects, you won't find anything new in those sections. If you would like to learn a little in those areas, the material is accessible.
   
   Most women I know would call this a five-star book just for chapter 10, Training Your Man or Why Real Women Don't Do Housework. That section provides the best explanation I've ever seen of how to help men take on household chores in ways that will be pleasing to women. The essence of the advice is to provide hands-on demonstrations, answer questions, observe, correct and provide encouragement. Now, was that so hard? Men can learn. Every household chore that I do now was learned through that process.
   
   The book veers off in a few places that can be misunderstood by being too literal about what she says. Ms. Abernathy, like a large percentage of women, has a thing about men leaving the toilet seat up. She does go on in addressing that problem which really bugs her. This is a litmus test of a man's devotion to her. She also makes it sound like giving or withholding sexual favors in some random fashion is great for a marriage. On closer reading, I think her message is a little different from her words. The real message, I think, is to create a positive relationship through personal warmth and mutual sexual gratification that relies as much on flirting and surprise as it does on accommodating men's desire for sex.
   
   Overall, I found the tone of the book to be refreshing coming from a woman in her 50s. If something's important to a woman in a relationship . . . why shouldn't she be on top (which Ms. Abernathy means both literally and psychologically) in the relationship?
   
   I suspect that many younger women will wonder what all the fuss is about.
   
   Ms. Abernathy describes her philosophy with enthusiasm. I suspect she would be an entertaining speaker on this subject.



2. [...]
   
   So let's get this straight. Either a man dominantes a woman and basically has her serving him at home or he then essentially runs a buisness and is the work horse while his "working" wife "runs" the buisness but proves more a show horse than anything else and then the man suddenly swtiches over from being "cooperative" (i.e. submissive) to running off with what Mitchell calls a submissive wife.
   
   Yeah this makes lots of sense. A woman is either a bossy twit that doesn't see it coming or a guy is a boorish brute or a milquetoast.
   
   Please this book is not a serious academic or analytical take on a supposed natural inclination of leadership--regardless of gender. Rather it is clearly a fantasia catering to the female domination fetish. Any author or idiotic reviewer with such a black and white view of human interaction is fundamentally jaded, narrow-minded, and nearsighted.
   
   Mitchell, for example, sounds like a man with much want to have the opportunity to run off with any woman and most likely has had little interaction with the opposite sex to know anything of value to pass along to a reader.
   
   The bottom line is that leaders are more made than born. There are an endless supply of people with raw talent. The world is overflowing with them. What it lacks is those with the discipline and not just the "drive," which is so often chimed as a great attribute. The dedication to grooming oneself and staying focus on long-term goals that can literally take many years to attain is a requirement few with all the talent in the world are ready to undertake.
   
   In our me-me, show-me-the-results-right-now demanding, impatient, immediacy, few men--or women--have what it takes to be a leader. Men have suffered from this for decades, namely believing that they can do anything simply because they think it. It takes work though more than anything to make it. Women today, however, have caught up with male ego and vanity in that now women genuinely beleive this is "their time" and they have an inherent right to claim the future without actually doing what is required to truly make it and have earned that right. Birth and gender and all that glorious talent alone do not make it in the world.
   
   This book only caters to the the insecure and delussional.



3. This book was given to me as a gift. A male friend had heard Barbara Wright Abernathy at a speaking engagement and told me "She says the same things you've been thinking". With the book in hand I also took the time to visit the authors website.
   
   Have you ever heard someone say "She wears the pants in that family", or "She's one bossy/powerful/in control woman"? Well, that is the type of woman this book was written for. Barbara had failed relationships and didn't know why. This book details her experience and what she and her husband, Stephen, learned together. Relationships like this aren't for everyone, but there are a lot of us who needed someone to put the idea into writing.
   
   No one talks about power levels between partners. Some partners argue all the time about finances, even though one is clearly more adept at managing money than the other. With help from this book, I can see where it's possible to have a relationship with clearly defined roles. Perhaps I get an extra vote when we're tied on a decision. Or he agrees to always check the 'Honey-Do-List' first thing on a Saturday morning. If you're a strong woman, it helps you figure out how you and your partner can simply clearly define your roles in the relationship.
   
   It's been my experience that men love to please their women. This book just brings certain aspects to light and helps women to see and acknowledge the power we DO have..and how to use it in a healthy way for creating happiness in our relationship.
   
   This book isn't about living with a Female Dominatrix or involving heavy 'kink' into your home life. If that's your choice, fine. But this book is more for the average folks - of which I am one - who would simply like to have their relationship be closer and more loving.
   
   There are more of us powerful women out here than you would think! This book gives me food for thought .. and action. Thanks Barbara and Stephen!



4. This book is interesting. The author's personal tale of her life journey is much more fascinanting than the description of the different types of women and how this affects their abilities to lead those around them. I did find some useful ideas; however there is a chapter in the book about the men's perspective that does not give the first person account but rather a generalization. I would have preferred to read what drew a man to the powerful woman (or women) in his life. Maybe the author, Barbara Wright Abernathy, will one day write a follow-up......



5. I liked this book. It gives a good insight into the lifestyle and has an easy to read format. It is a best in class book

3 comments about Brave New You: 12 Dynamic Strategies for Saying What You Want and Being Who You Are.

1. Brave New You has completely changed my views of myself and my relationships, be they romantic, professional or familial. I used to do whatever people told me and look down on myself for being such a pushover. Now, not only can I understand why I've behaved the way I did for so long, I have begun to use my new knowledge to make braver choices and finally take care of myself. I gave a copy to my mother and two of my best friends. Now we can talk about the things we've learned and work together to make the most of life every day, for ourselves and each other. I definitely suggest this book for anyone who feels they could be getting more out of life.



2. As one who counsels individuals in the workplace, my favourite motto is, "follow your dreams and have the courage, strength and commitment to make them a reality." That message is also portrayed in similar words throughout this book. "Brave New You" is an inspiration particularly to women and those pursuing a career outside the home.

   Generally speaking, we are limited only by our own self-imposed restrictions and fears of uncertainty. Anything in life worth having usually involves a risk, and as long as we have a plan in mind and miminize those risks as best we can - go for it! There are some excellent tips here on how to overcome emotional barriers, fears and doubts. The one constant in our lives is change; it can be one's worst enemy or one's greatest salvation. After reading this book, readers will think long and hard before allowing themselves to continually live up to another's expectations; rather, they will place more emphasis on living up to their OWN expectations. The author has written an extremely poignant and motivational book which offers some great strategies. "Brave New You" sends a message to readers that it is okay to be you because each one of us is unique and special in our own way.




3. Like Sara Ban Breathnach's 'Simple Abundance', this book changed my life. Providing direction in these uncertain times, Drs. Valentis plot the course for a reassessment of self that can lead to a beneficial "emotional make-over". I highly recommend it to any woman looking to grow stronger and more self-assured.

1 comments about 100 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Teach Values (Loomans, Diane).

1. I can't believe no one has reviewed this book yet. I've had it for years, and often keep it bedside. It has great ideas for unique games of building self esteem and self reliance in children. I recommend it highly for parents of children of all ages.

5 comments about The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reinventing Yourself.

1. I was attracted to this book because of the author's earlier work, Breathing Space, which impressed me very much with his wonderful writings about surviving information overload.
   
   Although this book is packed with a lot of useful actionable ideas, I feel that the author could have easily scaled down the book to 250 pages from 350 pages. This would make the book more concise & crisp to read.
   
   Despite the author's rambling thoughts, I would still recommend this book to readers, particularly young professionals, who are interested to learn more about mastering self renewal & mid-life transitions.
   
   In a nut shell, these are the principal themes in the book:
   
   - leveraging your circumstances;
   - redefining your mind & body;
   - reinvigorating your career;
   - improving your relationships;
   - reinventing other aspects of your life;
   
   Kudos to the author for coming up with this handy blueprint for helping young readers to become smarter, stronger, & more successful in life!



2. I recommend The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reinventing Yourself. It is well worth the money. If you are considering making any kind of change in your life, this is a valuable resource for you. You will get lots of tips in a hurry, and even maybe reflect on things that you hadn't thought before you picked up the book.



3. While I don't think that this book is for everybody, I personally found it to be of great value. If you come to a point in your life where you realize that you need to make a change you don't want to spend a lot of money talking to shrinks or counselors, for far less this could be all you need.



4. My husband gave me this book for my birthday. I was a little surprised, I certainly wasn't expecting it and the title kind of grabbed me. I hadn't really considered the prospect of "reinventing my life" before but after awhile the concept kind of grows on you. I liked the author's encouraging style, and the fact that you can pretty much skip around the book at random and launch into any chapter that strikes your fancy. The middle section on improving your mind, your fitness level and your nutritional hits, I think are the best.



5. I bought this book years ago when I was still in college. It made it's way into the back of a book shelf in my closet. At age 28, while at a particulary challenging time in my life, I stumbled on it once again. Although the book was now 8 years old, and I assumed it to be "outdated" I decided to look through it one night, and within the first chapter I instantly relaxed. I have a degree in Psychology, and have spent all of my teen and adult years reading self help books, and none of them ever did me any good. I would start out with full honest intentions only to get bored halfway through. Most self help books these days are written by an author who feels that he or she has "the system," "the theory," and "the philosophy" that will change your life forever. These books usually include chapters worth of "exercises" which only work if you follow them precisely. Some of these so called "systems" even require you to purchase supplemental workbooks, and six different journals to even follow them. And they all make outrageous claims. Some are so full of psychobabble that even a psychology buff like myself quickly tires of it. Some of them seem are so bland that they seem to be written by an author who looked at the project as a chore. Others are so incredibly ridicolous that the suggestions are almost laughable. Are you REALLY going to put index cards all over your house, car, and office, to remind yourself how wonderful you are? And are you SERIOUSLY going to believe that stopping your car along the side of the road in order to analyze the beauty in the flowers is going to change your life? Some self help books feel like one huge commercial, and are usually written by popular pop psychologists that are on the daytime talk show circut. Not only should you buy the book, but if you REALLY want to change your life, you will need to invest in the daily affirmation cards, calendar, motivational posters, and lunchbox.
   
   And then...there is this simply put together book by an author I never heard of, and haven't in the 8 years since this book was first published. He isn't trying to sell me anything. He was just reminding me of things that I already knew, but maybe my head was just a little too cloudy at the time to remember. And that is that if I want to....I CAN change my life. Just because I am not happy at this current chapter in my life, does not mean that I am crazy, and need to get on medication. Or that I need to waste a ton of time writing myself essays and posting index cards all over my house. I don't need to run to the nearest bookstore and purchase the entire "kit." Heck, I don't even need to read the book from front to back. But if I want some motivation, and the reminder that I CAN change my life, and maybe some encouragement and ideas...in PLAIN ENGLISH, I can refer to this silly little orange book...and maybe...just maybe...START to get the wheels turning to reinvent myself...on my terms.

2 comments about Romantic Relationships.

1. Marrianne Williamson's work is both real and honest. Rather than couch things in a concepts that are alien or extremely religious, she talks to you about the realities of existing. Of how things will not always be easy, about how you will lose your way, and honestly how to see people clearly. Growth is messy, it's not neat, maturity is not easy, nor is spirtiuality delicate work, but with assistance from a tape like this you can see yourself clearly and how to bridge yourself from concept to human to spiritual being.



2. Marianne Williamson's cds are great to listen to in the car. She is funny & says things which are so revolutionary in these cds. She addresses all types of relationships. I repeated listen to them getting something new out of them each time .

5 comments about When Misery is Company: End Self-Sabotage and Become Content.

1. I first encountered Anne Katherine's writing when I took a continuing education course about setting boundaries. I am continually impressed with her clear and unique insights. She is able to see and UNDERSTAND humans and human interaction in an exceptionally clear way. In this book, she communicates what so many of us have been unable to express and overcome within ourselves. The dynamics of self-sabotage and self-created misery are finally understood and explained in a whole and empowering way. She teaches and shows the way past a painful, self-defeating life.



2. Whether they like it or not, admit it or not, a large number of people are "addicted to misery." Misery addiction is an insidious form of self-sabotage that manifests in a large number of very different, but very "general" ways. For instance, we may habitually make choices that set us up to fail, or we may abandon projects right before they succeed. Maybe we choose abusive partners and friends; maybe we're chronically underemployed. Perhaps we avoid happiness because of a persistant fear that we will *lose* that happiness. Each issue-- in one way or another-- adds up to living a life in which we never really feel content or fulfilled, and like the "good things" of life somehow keep passing us by.
   
   Whatever the issue might be, conventional psychology either does not recognize Misery Addiction at ALL, or it chalks such problems up to more "popularly acceptable" causes, such as poor self-esteem, lack of assertiveness, ADHD or some other more widely recognized "syndrome." In this groundbreaking new book, author and psychotherapist Anne Katherine explains that there's really much more at work here.
   
   The book is divided into two main sections. Part One ("Understanding the Problem") is dedicated to explaining and identifying the various aspects of Misery Addiction. In short, easy-to-read chapters, the author takes us through descriptions of what exactly Misery Addiction IS, then on to explaining the strange paradoxes that lie at the heart of Misery Addiction; where we may have learned during our upbringings, and how we now engage in certain behaviors that keep up from reaching happiness in life. Throughout, Katherine illustrates her descriptions with examples from her own psychotherapy practice and Misery Addiction retreats, and also includes a number of small self-tests and quizzes to help readers understand precisely where their "traps" lie.
   
   Part Two ("Finding and Living the Solution") deals with recovery from Misery Addiction. Katherine is a strong proponent of following the basic "12-step program" format, as the optimal road to recovery. Even if you do not have a local MAA (Misery Addicts Anonymous) meeting, she recommends recommends getting involved with a 12-step group. This section also includes several chapters with "tools" to help the recovering Misery Addict deal with life. Finally, there is a helpful appendix with resources; how to set up and run a MAA group, notes to therapists, national 12-step organizations, and more.
   
   Final thoughts: Highly recommended (9 out of 10 possible bookmarks). This is a much needed book on a topic that generally is not covered by conventional psychology or therapy. My only reservation is the extremely heavy reliance on a 12-step program as "the solution" to a complex matter, while very little information is offered about other therapeutic options. But that's a minor niggle-- this is a highly worthwhile book!



3. When Misery Is Company: End Self-Sabotage And Become Content by psychotherapist, licensed mental health counselor, and popular author Ann Katherine offers the reader exercises, anecdotal personal stories, and an insightful, gentle wisdom focused on the self-defeating practice of trying to guard against disappointment, fear or shame by not allowing ourselves to fully experience intimacy, success, or pleasure. Sound psychology combined with a natural talent for writing fully engage the reader's total and thoughtful attention from first page to last as individual chapters are grouped into two major parts: "Understanding the Problem" and "Finding and Living the Solution". Enhanced with five appendices and an index, When Misery Is Company is especially recommended for those seeking assistance in developing their own personal growth on the basis of sound psychology and practical experience.



4. AK really nails the problem definition, although I would quibble that she missed a trigger. For me, a major relapse will be traced back to a feeling of accomplishment. And the level of accomplishment that will trigger keeps diminishing. But the result is the same as shaming, etc.
   
   AK paints such a vivid portrait of my own life, I need to send a copy of this book to everyone I've ever been late for. I finally GET THAT.
   
   She gives an example of infant attachments - baby cries, mother responds caringly, or mother just shoves bottle in baby's mouth and leaves. I wish she had addressed the third very likely option in our day - the schedule babies. I've waded thru a lot of attachment material in the past year, trying to figure out what 'happened' to me - she points me to Fonagy next.
   
   I've done ARTS Anonymous, CODA, OA, and a Linehan-rules Dialectial Behavior Therapy group for borderlines - I can't deal with being around all those mean blind crazy people whose lives are in danger! AND who HAVE a significant other, and/or kids, so what are they complaining about? I'm afraid even to brush my teeth sometimes, which they probably dismiss as trivial. But if my gums start un-receding - MISERY RELAPSE. Because they didn't HAVE toothbrushes in the old country when my mother was growing up. So how can I even have my teeth without seeing that scowling face? Call my sponsor? FEEL that hateful anger and jealousy. Hey! I just did a little work-thru!
   
   So - this book came along at just the right time for me, although I wish that time had been 30-40 years ago. I'm hoping to sign up for Ms. Katherine's weight loss phone support groups this fall (2008) and do the winter seattle weekend retreat. I think - if you don't have to explain the PROBLEM to the person, you can spend all your time together coming up with solutions.
   
   Ms. Katherine, thank you so much for this book and what you put of yourself into it. It must have been very painful to relive and recount, but so completely generous, unique, and creative of you to do so.



5. Though I am merely half way through the book, I am highly impressed by it. The sheer wealth of knowledge that I gained regarding my own actions and the mechanisms that trigger them is staggering. Literally, everything that I do now and have done in the past makes perfect sense when put into the context of misery addiction. I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book to anyone, whether they believe they may be a misery addict, might know a misery addict, or merely wish to read about a condition that is truly fascinating in it's complexity.