5 comments about Approval Addiction: Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone.

1. Joyce Meyer did a great job on writing this bestseller. Approval Addiction is another one of Joyce's masterpieces. I saw a lot of me in this book, and she stepped on all of my toes....(even though I didn't want to hear it). The good thing is that she uses references (via scriptures from the Holy Bible) to explain how approval addiction can be harmful not only to you, but to other relationships. NOW, I understand that I need to change my behavior. Thank you, Lord, for having people like Joyce Meyer for keeping it real.



2. You can't please all the people all the time, and this Christianity-based book will help you realize that truth.



3. I enjoy self-help, self-exploring books. However, it is disturbing yet another self help book reads more on being the right type of Christian then being a better you, regardless of your faith!
   I am a Christian. A person of faith with an open mind. I believe that the diversity amoung people are to be celebrated rather than feared and I won't tell people what God wants them to believe.
   I do belive that it is rare indeed when one person can tell another what God thinks about any controversial issue.
   This book would have saved me a lot of "here we go again", er, time, if Ms. Myers could have written it with out all the Christian Right B--- S---!



4. This book is an absolute eye opener! Joyce Meyer is an amazing woman with powerful wisedom from God that applys to everday life. She's a perfect example of how God works in your life and with a relationship and faith and trust he'll do amazing things. PLEASE DON'T BOTHER AND READ the 1-2 star reviews, it'll just make you angry. There are some people that are hurt and want to blame god for their problems and are hateful towards Christians and look for ways to try and hurt us. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I do. It'll be one of those books that I'll always reread from time to time. Just see what God can do in your life too! Enjoy!



5. This is a very good book and I got for a great price.Joyce really helps out alot of people.

5 comments about Worry.

1. I was very happy that I bought this book. As a person who suffers from worry/anxiety (learned from the best of them....my mother) I turned to this book to help me understand the reasons behind worry and what can be done to help the person suffering from it. Dr. Hallowell does an incredible job discussing the different forms of worry (including the differences between good and bad worry), the possibility of genetic reasons, how worry fits in with other mental illness (depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder), etc. He then talks about the different ways that worry can be dealt with. I was pleasantly surprised to see that he is not an advocate of just giving medication. He discusses a well-rounded approach of therapy, medication (if necessary), and things a person can do on their own. He discusses the various types of medication and how they work with different types of mental illness. The last part of the book talks about various things a person can do to help themselves deal with worry.

   Overall I think this is a wonderful book. It is definitely a great starting point for those who know they have a problem but are unsure of how to start dealing with it.

   I completely disagree with the reviewer who said this book would not be good for learning how to deal with worry. Its as if they were reading a completely different book than I did.




2. I picked up Dr. Hallowell's book about three years ago. I was in a horrible job with a demanding and verbally abusive boss and thought I had died and gone to Hell. On more than one occasion I seriously considered driving my car into a tree just to avoid having to go to work another miserable day. I was in counseling with a psychologist at the time who, though quite a funny guy, was of no help to me. I worried about a lot of things. I worried about everything: how to survive in a rotten job; how to regain joy in my life with my wife and newborn son; how to stop self-destructive behaviors; how to get back my lost sense of humor. I was, needless to say, desperate! Then, while browsing through the "Self-help Section" of the bookstore, I was grabbed by the title of Dr. Hallowell's book: "Worry". I bought the book and read case studies all about myself. People who suffered exactly like I did. I learned that I wasn't a failure. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't destined to live out the rest of my life as a miserably unhappy man. I talked about the book with my wife and told her I thought I was depressed and really needed help. I went to a psychiatrist who said I was suffering from Major Depression. He prescribed medication and long term therapy. The change in me was dramatic. I felt better, mentally and physically, enjoyed my family, regained my sense of humor, and, best of all, I quit my job. Of course I found another job and I'm still in therapy. I'm no longer depressed. This book literally saved my life.



3. I am very impressed with this book so far. I have not gotten very far but I am intrigued by this book so far.



4. If you are looking for a book on worry that goes beyond the usual platitudes or advice found in "stress management" books, this is a great choice. Instead of just repeating the basics such as exercise, meditation, or others, Dr. Hallowell brings the background of a clinical expert to the discussion. He shows exactly how exercise, meditation and other ideas can help, and when they might not.
   
   Dr. Hallowell explains that worry is natural and necessary, but because it ties into the potent human imagination, it can become hard to control in some people, and for various reasons. The author delivers his world class expertise in short chapters that are easy to read, though there is pretty deep information for the interested layperson.
   
   Some examples of the insights I appreciated in the book include: not thinking of excessive worry as a moral failure, but rather a condition to be treated; recognizing the relationship between procrastination and worry, realizing there are basically two kinds of worry - adaptive, which is healthy and maladaptive, which manufactures imaginary dangers. A good quote on the importance of healthy worry: "Refusal to worry constitutes denial". Many modern professions reward healthy levels of worry (scenario recognition and planning), but this can get away from an individual when it becomes a personality trait (and some are born to it). Perfectionists are setup up for toxic worry because they do not feel safe enough to fail.
   
   The overall plan of the book helps the reader determine if they should seek professional help for worry due to psychological, physical or combinations of these causes. There is a lot of reflective questioning and case studies to help you think deeply about why you worry in an unhealthy way. Reading the real life cases helps you put your situation in perspective, no matter what course you should follow. There is a helpful survey to gauge the severity and amount of your worrying. Larger issues such as connectedness to others, unresolved guilt, hereditary factors, vengeful thoughts, anger, negative self-talk and many other deeply personal causes of worry are explored. Genuinely engaging these parts of the book can help you learn some things about yourself.
   
   The book does a great job for the person who does not need professional treatment, but does need solid clinical advice. On the other hand, if you do need professional counsel tailored to your situation, the book helps you see why and does not demean you for getting the help you need. There are full chapters for OCD, phobias, GAD and other conditions that require more treatment than the book provides, but it can help you get on the right track with solid information.
   
   An important part of using worry in a healthy manner is to act using a simple three step formula: Evaluate, Plan, and Remediate. Basically, instead of continuing to worry, use the worry itself to identify a straightforward plan to at least improve the situation. The book helps you determine the source of the worry and connect them to a plan. You don't have to fix the whole world in one shot, just make some progress; this reduces worry and makes a difference outside your mind in the real world too.
   
   I really like the book and it has helped me. I was lead into some very personal reflection about my background that I would not have come up with on my own and I did not have to pay for expensive counseling (and I am better informed about when that is appropriate). If you are tired of light advice on a difficult subject, try this book.



5. I have been struggling with anxiety ever since a close relative died suddenly of a heart attack in my presence. From time to time I worry about having a heart attack, and imagining chest pain, and I know that I'm in good health and that it's not really my heart, but every time I still struggle with the thought of "is this IT?"
   
   One day I was feeling anxious and I happened to be in the bookstore, so I stepped into the "self help" section to see if there were any good books that might help me. I noticed this book, and paged through it. There appeared to be enough of interest that I decided to buy it.
   
   The book is very conversational, the author takes you through many case histories of his clients, detailing how they developed their anxiety and how he treated them with cognitive behavioral therapy, reassurance, and medication. Through each of these case histories you see the principles he describes in action, that many anxious conditions are actually not "all in our head" but are real physiological conditions ("brain burn") predisposed by our genetics and/or triggered by cognition or traumatic/stessful events. As such, they are not a matter of "will power" but a matter of reconditioning oneself to respond differently to stimuli, to break out of the feedback patterns that spiral up into anxiousness and instead learn to refocus on reality.
   
   One thing I noted was that nearly every case history described also involved the prescription of psychotropic medications as part of the treatment regime. It does tend to make this less of a "self-help" book if one is led to feel that one must go to a psychiatrist, but then again many people reading this book may be beyond self-help and truly need a professional's assistance.
   
   I found that just reading the various stories of his patients has a calming effect in itself, helping to reduce the feelings of catastrophic panic and showing that indeed this is a manageable condition that people can overcome and learn to live normally again.
   
   I also found interesting a chapter in which the author talks about the beneficial effects of worry, and how it isn't all bad but can help us prepare for real challenges and enhance our performance, as well as keep us alert and propel us to confront and deal with real problems.
   
   The book concludes with a chapter on 50 things that one can do on their own to help reduce worry. Someone suffering with an acute problem might do well to turn to that chapter first. There is also a chapter reviewing the various types of medications that are prescribed for anxiety and related conditions.
   
   I also liked that the author speaks of God, spirituality, prayer, and meditation as options to be considered in learning to cope with fears, along with cultivating friendships, connectedness with others, etc. The book was filled with such easy, practical steps.
   
   I plan to keep this book around and re-read it periodically.
   
   (For another book that I find beneficial, with specific step-by-step bibliotherapy sessions, I recommend "Master Your Panic" by Denise Beckfield, Phd.)

1 comments about The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance.

1. The author emphasizes that we need to instill a
   sense of values without being overly self-conscious
   or critical. Our children should not be taught to
   be too risk averse or afraid to face the future.
   
   Problems of low self-esteem can be dealt with via
   interdependence and collaborative efforts. Our
   conscience should be grounded in virtue and trust
   to do what is right. Our early childhood identities
   are affirmed and not necessarily changeable.
   
   The primary emotions deal with the following:
   
   o generosity toward others
   o discipline and self-control
   o patience
   o concentration
   o wisdom
   
   There are different types of parental control.
   Laiseez-faire parents act only if the situation
   is unavoidable. They tend to be "laid back"
   in their overall approach to raising children.
   
   Helicopter parents don't want the child to feel
   uncomfortable so they tend to be detached to
   some extent. Nevertheless, children need to
   acquire skills to deal with adversity as part
   of life. Excessive parental control or problem solving
   produces children unable to cope or make real
   decisions.
   
   Parents should encourage empathy, role-reversal
   strategies, creativity, idealism and non-materialism.
   A child needs to affirm his/her identity early on.
   Parents should instill the notion of a conscience
   to do what is right and to give back to others and
   the community at large. Overall, the work is excellent
   in instructing parents on coping with child-rearing.

5 comments about The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts.

1. This six cd set is a real bargain at the Amazon price, it sells for three times as much elsewhere. It is a programme that must be listened to many times to get the maximum benefit, but is well worth it. I recommend it to anyone who wants to improve their communication skills, which is really everyone on planet Earth. It is a must have programme.



2. This was a very helpful audio CD that enabled me to easily use its content to my advantage in many different situations both in work and home life.



3. The ideas are good for all. The format is overly repetitive and some of the examples seem a little simplistic.



4. I know a lot of self help materials basically talk about common sense that we already know. But at least most of them serve as a reminder and a lot of good ones lead you into further examining it and once in a while you come up with an "Ah Ha". However, this book seems to limit itself to certain situations. It doesn't give enough examples and the "skills" it mentioned sometimes just don't make sense.



5. The Dale Carnegie audiobooks by Nightingale Conant tend to be too basic and common sensical, trying to repackage the" Win Friends Influence People", "Stop Worry Start Living", or "Public Speaking" principles in new bottles for the New Economy Age. Good endeavors, but tend to fail to provide the wow, useful new ideas.
   Bought "5 Essential People Skills", "Make Yourself Unforgettable", "Stand and Deliver", "Sales Advantage", "Dale Carnegie Leadership Mastery" and "Leader In You". All of them are newly recycled, repackaged, old ideas of Dale Carnegie's "Win Friends Influence People", "Stop Worry Start Living", or "Public Speaking". They are not as informative as other great audiobooks in the market like "Crucial Conversation", "Difficult Conversation", and "Articulate Executive" by which have more twists and new things to say about leadership communication and persuasive communication. If you need to buy audio books of Dale Carnegie, just buy Dale Carnegie's original, unabridged "Win Friends Influence People", "Stop Worry Start Living" audiobooks. Old too, but relatively more meat and better organized. Besides, you can get them from audible.com easily.
   
   Dale Carnegie & Associates really needs to hire more gurus or outside consultants to help update and upgrade their outdated content (not the principles!). When I showed those Dale Carnegie timeless principles to my 12 years old, he said they are too elementary and common sensical in the internet 2.0 Age. Like KFC, Dale Carnegie is an aging brand that needs rebranding and remarketing to stay relevant and practical to the readers or audience.

5 comments about Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties.

1. I high recommend this book. Author notes the underlying causes of the problem. Then list all of the fears one can face(very authoritive exprience). And finally steps you through to overcome the problem. Very practicable. Highly recommended.



2. i have read this book some months ago and its impression is still on me.when i have to make a decisuion i also think what this book will advice me.i had been a SP/SAD many years and read a lot of books and this is ,i think ,one of the 3 best . its style isnt too clinicaly . it also help me to understand things that related to other problem of mine which i didnt knew that i suffer from (dependent personality). when you read it doesnt make you to fill that you have a defect in your brain but that you have some wrong behavior that you have to change(for your own good). it also have good advices for parents of shy people-something that i didnt see in other books.

   very recommende.buy it yesterday !




3. With this book and the Beyond Shyness self-help audio program, I pulled myself up out of a world of shame and guilt and frustration into a world of logic, compassion and clarity at a level I've never knew existed. I have a totally new understanding of my fellow man and have virtually rid myself of the critical, judgmental mindset that used to isolate me from anyone knew.



4. This book helped me tremendously. A large part was how Berent gets you to look at yourself and understand that this is a behavior that can be changed through self-analysis and practice. I read the book about 3 years ago. Before that, I, without really knowing it, avoided social situations or talking in front of people at work. This was hindering my career. Once I realized this, using the book, I planned a change in behavior and started to overcome some of my fears. This lead to a promotion about 2 years ago, and then, near the end of last year, I was able to seize a once in a lifetime opportunity to start my own business. So far, so good! Thanks Jon!



5. These types of books are perfect for someone who is already obsessive about their social anxiety disorder and convinced that there is something wrong with themselves, and that they need change immediately in order to become acceptable to society. Unfortunately - this is a harmful combination!
   
   I would not recommend this book to anyone - it only made me more self conscious and depressed while dealing with social anxiety. Now that I have accepted myself I have finally achieved relief.
   
   Instead - i would recommend a person read books such as "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle.. This is the best way for a person to find internal happiness, instead of that through others..

5 comments about Life's Journeys According to Mister Rogers: Things to Remember Along the Way.

1. Such joy in living simply. Mr. Rogers had a way of bringing people in with his ordinariness. His philosophy is one of love and positive thinking. He separates true happiness from temporary satisfactions. This is a must read.



2. Just a great book to have to thumb through. Just neat thoughts from a great person.



3. I was a bit apprehensive when I first picked this up at the library because I was afraid that Fred might concentrate more on the religious side of things.actually,he only mentioned god a few times in it and each of those times he mentioned god unforcefully,which was both smart and caring of him.I liked it so much I'm going to buy a copy!it was uncanny to see that his writing style(although compiled by others)in this book was very simmillar to that of david lynch in his "catching the big fish" book--short and to the point/abstract for a purpose:I love books which demand that the reader think things out themselves rather than have it served up american-style on a big silver platter!



4. I have been gripped recently, nearly 5 years after his death, with a wave of Mr. Rogers nostalgia. After reading Tim Madigan's wonderful "I'm Proud of You," about his friendship with Fred Rogers, I wanted more. It seems that this 1-CD tribute would do the trick, slaking my thirst for words of wisdom from this warm, sweet man, while perhaps not overdoing it. I was disappointed. The CD consists of a series of short snippets gathered from Fred's writings, read by Lily Tomlin and others. This sounds like a wonderful way to pay tribute to the man, but comes off wrong. Fred had a way of making even the most treacly saying seem profound. Then there was his stance of complete acceptance, non-judgment and kindness that made his words seem salving and utterly non-threatening. In the voices of others, these sayings lose their power and become simply "nice," and even trite.
   
   The best parts of the CD were where Fred himself appeared, in recordings of music from his shows ("I'm Proud of You, "I'm Still Myself Inside") and in his words to the graduating class of his alma mater, Latrobe University. Here, in extended segments, Fred's warmth and humanity had time to take root.
   
   Beautiful as the sentiment may have seemed to the participants, the essence of Fred Rogers cannot be removed from his slow, gentle delivery or his meek and inviting persona. I would NOT recommend this product for anyone who wants to experience the extraordinary person who was Fred Rogers. Madigan's book helps, but as for me, I am still seeking a relatively short volume or CD that lets me experience the affirming and healing grace of God that was Mr. Fred Rogers.



5. The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start
   
   Mr. Rogers was always a soothing voice on TV. My children watched and enjoyed his programs. Now I have the privilege of reading his books. You can almost hear his soothing, calm voice in each passage. I love the insights and candor of this man and recommend this book.

5 comments about Don't Give It Away! : A Workbook of Self-Awareness and Self-Affirmations for Young Women.

1. This book changed the way I viewed myself in this world. It really helped me change from a depressed teen to someone who sees themself as a smart, beautiful and loving person. I did a presentation of this book and the presentation actually changed lives. A must for teen girls!!!



2. Iyanla is a very influential and inspirational author. She would be a top five person to talk to in my lifetime. I reccommend everything she has to write or say.



3. This book will very good for your young girl or teen-ager. The workbook has space for journaling and is a great self esteem builder.



4. I brought this book for two young girls. They both have told me that they love the book and it has help them to love themselves more. It has made them think about there self value in a way they never thought about. They both loved the book



5. This book is absolutely perfect for anyone, who appreciates hands-on learning. It provides young women with self-affirmations needed for them to navigate a sometimes hostile world. I would recommend this book to parents, teachers, school counselors, or community leaders. Adolescent girls love it!

5 comments about How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything.

1. Great insight into the problem of suffering. Ellis gives several methods to overcome negative emotions. However if you read other books of Ellis, there is nothing new although his uses difference clinical examples.He seems to focus on 'Tyranny of Should's' (borrowed from Karen Horney) a lot and feels it as core of neurosis.
   Today CBT is developed mainly expanding Ellis ideas (Thanks to David burns). Burns himself acknowledges him with great respect. If only Ellis was not little eccentric in potraying the pot of gold inside him, he would have been probably received differently. Neverthless, that is his style with noble intention to help people instead of rely on religion alone.
   Ellis truly is great Humanist ..Buddha of 21st century !



2. I love almost anything by Albert Ellis. He uses rational thought processing. This book helps you see glitches in your own thoughts and ideas that set you up for feeling bad. Read this book if you want to see where you can improve on your legalistic thought processes.



3. I purchased this book on the strength of the reputation of its author, Albert Ellis. This was a mistake as Mr. Ellis apparently dashed this off on his way out the door. I suppose when one has written many books, particularly on one subject, re-iteration eventually becomes one giant summary-which this book is. This is a throw away. Both for the author and the reader. I'm looking at it now on my bookshelf, lamenting the waste of money and time. Mr. Ellis probably regrets the time but not the money. If you are seeking an alternate view of reality, and who isn't, check out David Burns, "Feeling Good". Much more substantive and not a gloss over.



4. Some slow reading in some spots, but definitely has some good information to use personally or help a friend with.



5. A terrific book giving you practical guidance for mastering your thoughts and therefore your feelings so that you can face anything in life (and yes, as the title says anything) with courage, common sense, faith, and joy. Totally recommended. - Dr. Lisa Love, Beyond the Secret

5 comments about Escaping Emotional Entrapment : Freedom from negative thinking and unhealthy emotions.

1. If your tangled thinking and your befuddled emotions have your life in lock-up, Daniel Rutley's experienced counsel in "Entrapment" will help banish self-doubt, rejuvenate your energy level, unshackle your enthusiasm and guide you to achievable, long lasting results and a joy that is unconfined.



2. "He" wrote the greatest self-help book of all time and Daniel Rutley has written the second. This book is your back-up bible! It is captivating...it is humorous...it is a melody for your mind and emotional development as a sweet song is to your heart...it is an attainable truth that is buried within our cluttered, busy psyche... and "Emotional Entrapments" provides the tools in clear step-by-step "now what do I do" scenarios, to arrive at clear, emotionally healthy solutions.

   For me, what separates this "Escape.." from the rest, is it's direct and human approach. The learned Daniel Rutley has succeeded in combining humor AND valuable teachings in a most `non-clinical' delivery that is hard not to embrace. You will want to re-visit many portions of this book over and over and you will find it to be your constant emotional reference guide to self- development and improvement.

   Read it, embrace it, absorb it and learn from it...You won't be disappointed.

   Thank you Mr. Rutley for a most enjoyable, honest and refreshing read.

   K




3. I have thousands of books on psychology/self-help/mental health and this is one of the books that I always keep handy to refer to, as others have mentioned as well. This book had a profound, positive impact on my life and my thinking. It affirmed alot of what I already knew but never saw in print, and there are alot of things that I never knew or read in any other book. If you are only going to buy one book today, make it this one. I highly recommend it and you won't regret it.



4. Truely changed my life. This book is a must for everyone with an anxiety problem. Thanks Daniel Rutley...you changed my life



5. I purchased this book and am very glad I did, it has been very useful to me not only when dealing with problems currently occuring in my life, it is also useful when I offer advice to my friends and family members.

5 comments about My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity.

1. What I loved most about this book was that the women who gave birth to us are our mothers, but women who teach us life lessons are also our mothers. The definition of mother grows with our abilities to accept more nurturers and teachers in our lives. It is very important to accept the fact about our mothers that they were only human and did the best they could, but that's another life lesson that can ripple more globally.

   Ultimately, this book is about choosing mentors and tolerance for human frailties. I'm glad it's still in print.




2. This book was written for women, as such men will come away feeling that women are "really screwed up" about thier mothers, and while it does attempt to explain certian things, you do get the feeling that the author wants somebody to blame for the things that have gone wrong in her life... One wonders what her mother though on reading it, if she ever has.

   Personally I think "Our Mother's Daughters" by Judith Arcana (published by The Women's Press) is a far better book, a far better read for men too, especially if you want to understand the woman your mother is, rather than the woman you would have her be.

   I love my mother, I read her copies of both books, her mother is now dead, it took her a lifetime to deal with the pain, don't waste yours doing the same. Forgive and forget, we are only human after all.




3. It took me a while to get into this book... there were several occasions where I tempted to give up on it.
   
   I'm glad I stuck with it though.
   
   Those of you with a difficult mother/daughter relationship will probably benefit from reading this book. I know I did. Even though the author isn't a mother (which does bother me a little), I feel that her theories make sense.
   
   The version I have of this book is quite old and was published in 1977(I picked it up in a used bookstore). I'm not sure what type of editing has been done on newer versions but I'm sure the main message will be the same.
   
   My Mother My Self would benefit women who would like a deeper understanding of their relationship with their own mother, and also their daughters. Men might like to read this to understand the complex dynamics of these relationships.



4. Unless a woman has completley disconnected from her mother (successfully and has maintained it for several years) ... she stands a very high chance of being exactly like her or an extreme opposite to her instead of who she is as a unique person. This book by Nancy Friday explains why. One cannot cut the psychic umbilical cord alone, it takes effort, commitment, and intention to do so. A timeless book on how to heal and love who you are and where you came from while leaving the negative legacies behind.



5. This book has too bitter a spirit for me and seems more directed to women who have a sour relationship with their mother; or are not happy being a mother themselves and trying to deal with that. I cannot see how it is helpful or how it even fits into a mother/daughter help category; it seems to be Nancy Friday's personal tale of how her mother failed her and she is trying to explain why everybody else Must Also be Screwed Up and Unhappy. How is this book constructive and helpful? Not for me. Try something else, really.