5 comments about He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (The Newly Expanded Edition).

1. This book is great. Bought it after getting dumped. I'd read a little everytime I started to feel a little down. It would even make me laugh sometimes. It was amazing how so much of it did apply to situations I had been in. It helped to realize that I am worth more and deserve to have someone that really is into me.
   I'm definitely keeping this book as a reference on future relationships.



2. The book was received in great condition! As always, I'm very happy with the service that Amazon provides, the quality of the merchandise, and the members that I deal with.



3. This is literally my favorite book now. It was helpful to have a "professional" (sort of) tell me that if he's not calling, etc., he's just not that into me, and why would I want to wait around with him, when there's someone better out there who WILL BE "into me" enough to call (or whatever). The point is, why waste your time with someone who's not into you--potentially preventing you from meeting that someone who is? It goes through all the ways that he might not be "that into you" and why and how you should move on. Every woman should read this book, and I mean that.



4. I really enjoyed reading this book. I do think it is one every girl should read. It is a very short read so I did think it was overly expensive. However, if you do buy it, just share it with all your girlfriends as I have. For the most part, all of the advice in here is commmon sense and stuff we all know . . however . .it is all the things we refuse to admitt to ourselves. I believe this does help you do just that. It is also done with great humor which is much needed if you are in a situation where you "need" to be reading this book. The bad part about it was that I really think if we all held out for the guy this book says exists . . we'd be single forever. So as long as you realize that no one is perfect but you do deserve to be treated well I think this book is worth the read.



5. So, this book isn't really bad , but it is common sense. We girls keep making excuses for the man when deep down we known what's going on. We just don't want to say it or belive it. The book basically says the same thing over and over in every chapter just different situations. Basically if the guy doesn't treat you like a princess then " he is just not into you!" That doesn't take a whoe book to say but and here is where credit is due; if you are hard headed and in one of these relationships maybe reading the whole book is what you need.

5 comments about For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women.

1. 1. How to be clever enough not to marry at all ? (People told me: "Don't do it", but I tought I was clever...)
   2. When you are married how to get rid of her with minimum of negative effects to the child and minimum costs.
   
   Problem: This book would like that you think that you can have happy marriage with women = sorry, it's impossible, but if you want ... well, keep on trying, (ha,ha, ha, ...)



2. Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.
   
   "For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - garnered about 90 comments thus far. The few negative reviews (less than 3 stars) were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, mostly by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!
   
   Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them. Thus far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) for a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, mostly complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk came from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.
   
   The ladies offered such loving things as:
   
   "Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."
   
   "The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."
   
   "This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."
   
   "If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"
   
   Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."
   
   Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.
   
   Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each. It's hard, though, to miss the more gracious thoughts liberally applied to his book about her, compared to the begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too.
   
   Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:
   
   "My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."
   
   Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. You dodged a bullet thanks to this little book.
   
   Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options...



3. Outstanding book! I learned alot, but my wife appreciated me reading it even more because of the things we can now discuss more openly. Quick and easy to read - with a very handy cheat sheet up front to remind you of the key points once you get done. To score even more points with your wife - get her the corresponding "For Women Only" book so she can learn some surprising things about you.



4. I listened to the audiobook of this. My first problem was that the authors chose to use the book as a vehicle to spread their misguided brand of evangelical Christianity. This was an affront to my intelligence.
   
   Secondly, they clearly had no idea how to conduct a proper scientific study. The information presented in the book was based on an amateur survey and should be given little or no credence.
   
   I would recommend to the authors that if they wish to publish further works on topics like this, they should go back to school and learn about statistics, random sampling and how to conduct scientific studies. Then, they should realize that there is no place for religion in books of this type.
   
   If the authors want to write about their religious beliefs, that's fine, but the title should clearly reflect that so people who have a genuine interest in the workings of the human brain do not waste their money.



5. This book almost perfectly describes my thoughts and feelings in my marriage. I've been married nine years and my husband still doesn't understand me. I'd really like for him to read this.

5 comments about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex.

1. I read this book as a proactive measure to gear up for a permanent full time commitment. I can say that most of the sample phrases inspected in this book have been hurled at me, or hurled by me at one time or another, in relationships I've had long before Mars/Venus was published. If I had known then the info provided in this book, I'd probably be married with the kids going off to college by now.
   
   But let's look at why I think this book will work for you. It's been over fifteen years since this title came out. (I remembered people lampooning and dismissing it when it first hit the market and became a sensation) This book could be seen as part of the movement in the nineties where men became the kinder/gentler men we see all around us today. I'm aware that not everyone wants to be seen as or wants a kindler gentler man. But in the course of men becoming softer in the nineties, women made an accompanying move towards a hardened masculinity in the whole "grrrls rule, boys drool" attitude. As a result, the gender lines between respective behavior have been blurred considerably. Anyone could pick up this book today and see a little of themselves described on both planets.
   
   There are helpful ideograms presented here (men=rubberbands, women=waves, men go into and returning from caves, women descending into and arising from their wells). It's all about cycles and rhythm, and believe it or not, men have their own too. The importance of communication and how and when to say what are tools everyone should have in steering clear of an argument, a major relationship killer. The anatomy of an argument is also analyzed in detail. The book ends with how to ask for support and a useful psychological revelation: when you feel safest and loved, painful memories from the past will surface. It shows you that you may mistakenly attribute those painful feelings to your partner when you shouldn't.
   
   There is also an effective chapter on the subtle linguistics of asking.
   
   There's bound to be many knee-jerk reactions from readers all around. People have continued to oppose this book based on the stereotypes it makes, not on its effectiveness. I for one, am very resistant to self-help books. I have returned advice books for refunds and even hurled some at the wall in disgust.
   
   What's important for me is that books, like movies, music, news, and peer-pressure work collectively to shape who we are and how we behave. Since the publication of this book, its advice and examples have worked itself into the consciousness of how partners (in a certain socio-economic group) behave, express themselves, and interact with each other. I can't count how many times I've heard some of the phrases in this book uttered between friends who are in relationships. Even though many have not read the book, they are utilizing variations of its examples in their every day speech.
   
   With divorce rates ever on the increase, I'm quite certain if you were to walk away with 10% of the information presented in this book, regardless of which gender group you culled the advice from, you would have already disproportionately increase the probability of your relationship succeeding.



2. A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women. The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.
   
   John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds. For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need. The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.
   
   John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings. Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.
   
   Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave). Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.
   
   Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. The shortcomings of this book need addressing. First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.
   
   Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women. In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.
   
   Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity. For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women. This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book without exploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking. What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?
   
   This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.
   
   Overall, an interesting read...but caution is advised!
   
   The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking



3. Only people of compatible personality types can have a great relationship. You won't know what personality type you are unless you invest your money in Socionics by Rod Novichkov. Communication problems start with misunderstandings and misunderstandings are from the way we process information and give out the answers. Only C1 partners (you'll know what that is if you read Socionics) have the right combination of compatibility where when you say "Honey, I want to be left alone for a few minutes because I want to think things over" means just exactly what you meant to say and nothing more and your partners understands it that way.



4. A lot has been said already about this book over the years since it first hit the shelves, and I'm not sure I can offer any new information. I believe everybody should either read this book or books like it. We all need a greater understanding; not just of others (our partners, family and friends), but also of ourselves.
   
   The more compatible a couple naturally is the better they will get on. That's just logical. But sometimes we need to be aware of, and reminded of, the differences between men and women so they ae are more tolerant and understanding; particularly during rough patches of life.
   
   Dr. John Gray offers a great insight into these differences and tackles the subject matter in an informative, but at the same time, light-hearted and fun manner. I enjoyed this book. Some of the information I already knew, but there were definitely new insights I learner and understood better regarding men and women. I regularly find myself refering to this text to remind myself of these differences, and to remember to be more tolerant and understanding.
   
   How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good
   
   Real Life Dramas - Volume One
   
   Darren G. Burton



5. This book provided good insights into my makeup as well as insights into the opposite sex. I recomend it for anyone who intends to marry or is married.

5 comments about Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years.

1. This is a good and easy to read informative book that targets
   the early years of childhood, it gives direct instructions on
   how to handle discipline and redirect behaviors. I recommend
   it.



2. I was disappointed in this his book I don't believe that this is effective parenting or that it would help a child grow up to be more responsible.
   I don't believe a child should be abandoned as a form of discipline as when the author says to put them in there room and latch the door. What happen to listening to a child and having a two sided conversation with a child. This book is all about showing the child that the parent is in control. Kind of a my way or the highway form of discipline. The author suggests that "The car is leaving in ten minutes" is an enforceable statement, so if the child is not ready in 10 minutes does he leave with out his child? I think DCFS would like to hear about that. Basically, I think this form of discipline is harsh and insensitive and it is not at all the kind and gentle form of dicipline it claims to be. Nor do I think it will help a child make necessarily better decisions when they are older, but it may make them afraid to go out and explore the world.



3. Reading this book makes me more conscientious about how I handle every situation with my little one. This is an easy read that proves helpful right off the bat.



4. I really enjoyed this book. It gave me lots of different ideas on how to discipline my toddler while still delivering lots of affirmation. Some of it is fairly obvious, but it's nice to read that it still works!



5. The book I ordered came in a quick manner and was in great condition. Thankyou..

5 comments about Good in Bed.

1. I bought this because I heard Weiner was a good author. This book was terrible! It was painful for me to flip through the story because Cannie was too whiny, the plot moved painstakingly slow, and it just wasn't that interesting.



2. I bought this book while I was on vacation at the beach. It was exactly what I wanted! I found myself laughing out loud at Cannie and her dog Nifkin. If you want a fun summer read, this is it!



3. I love Cannie Shapiro in this novel! She is brilliant and has an awesome personality. I highly suggest reading this book, you won't be able to put it down... when you finish, you will want to read the sequel!



4. Don't get me wrong, the book wasn't that bad. I enjoyed the humor, men bashing, relationship troubles and Cannie's eventual successes. It was a great 2 hours on a 14-hour flight. But after a while Cannie got to me, and not in a good way.
   
   Her insecurities and self-pity got to be too much after a while, and I found myself speed-reading to get through. Like a good chick-flick, this is a good chick-book. If your female (possibly having relationship troubles in your own life may lead you to enjoy it more), and you are heading out to the beach grab this one, it's worth it.



5. In Her Shoes was the first book I read by Jennifer Weiner so I thought I would read another book authored by Weiner. Good in Bed's character was a whinner and not very interesting. Didn't see the humor in any of the story and the book was wordy. Disappointing that this wasn't as good as In Her Shoes.

5 comments about Making Children Mind without Losing Yours.

1. Well written, enjoyable, quick read. Kevin Leman provides great practical advice for raising children in this book and I enjoyed the book so much I ordered copies for my closest friends for Christmas.



2. I purchased this book becuase i heard a Radio interview with the author and my wife was constantly asking me, "How do i know i doing the right thing, with my current parenting style?" I agreed with the thing I had heard on the radio so I thought this book could bring some comfort to my wife.
   
   She read the book and though some thing we didn't buy into wholesale, the bulk of the book, and idiology in the book is sound and seems to work as advertised.



3. Kevin Leman writes a good book using "reality parenting" concepts to get your children to mind. This involves allowing them to experience the consequences of their actions now while they are in our loving care. Hopefully, they can learn those life lessons and not have to suffer the consequences of the "real world" when they are adults outside of our care and love. He has some good examples of everyday problems such as eating issues and getting up for school. It is written from a Christian perspective and I believe he is right on the money with his ideas. Sometimes these guidelines are hard to follow because, as parents, we need to remain calm when our kids are pushing our buttons. If you can do this, you will be successful with this book.



4. This is a must read for all parents...even the ones whose kids "mind" or don't think they need to. This book is more about being a good parent and being happy with the end result. It has made such a positive impact on my family, that I have told anyone that would listen about it.



5. ....probably you will see yourself in this book and help your child become all they were meant to be. Help yourself and your kids, give it a read.

5 comments about The Five Love Languages of Children.

1. This book is a must have for those getting ready for marriage all the way to those who have been married for years. I use this book counseling and believe it would be a good addition to your library.



2. This is a great book for anyone. It opened my eyes to why my child reacts the way she does to a lot of things. It also made a light come on to my husband's love language. Also, since I have a niece and a lot of nephews, it helped me talk to them in their own language. LOVE IT! A must read!



3. This book was recommended to me by a dear friend. Arrived in excellent condition. Can't wait to read it.



4. A terrific book for all families. You will use this info again and again, not only with your children, but your spouse, family, and yourself.
   
   Very good basic info on how to read your child (or anyone really) and provide the love they need.
   I love this book and refer to it often.



5. Ordinarily, the follow-on books are kind of flat. The Elizabeth George "After God's Own Heart" books seemed this way, although the first one, "A Woman After God's Own Heart" was excellent.
   
   I was expecting the same sort of flatness from this book. I found a lot to apply in the original Love Languages book, and I'm still sneaking it into my marriage. It's one thing to tell your Quality-Time husband that you are a TOUCH wife, and a whole different thing to gently convince him to touch touch touch touch touch touch. It has brought me to a whole new level of positive reinforcement.
   
   So I figured this one for kids would be a couple of hundred pages of telling parents that kids need *every* love language. And indeed, there was some of that.
   
   But the book was full of clues for how to recognize your child's love language, how it may change over time, and how to communicate.
   
   The book offered a lot. I thought the chapters on conflict were very worthwhile, and even on how to discipline in the different love languages. My kids are so different that I needed all the pointers I could get. And surprise -- thinking about love languages across generations has helped me communicate better with my parents, too -- off to a good start, anyway.
   
   I read this 6 months ago. My eldest started talking more, to me and to other people, NOTICEABLY more, and it's bringing me some relief from one of my biggest parenting worries -- how remote this child has been. That has been the biggest and most immediate change in our family recently, and I can trace it to this book.
   
   I would recommend you read the first Love Languages book first, and then this one to think specifically about your kids.
   
   Oh, and for moms, definitely read A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. It's family-enhancing.

5 comments about Shepherding a Child's Heart.

1. I have a feeling that people like Jo Ragan didn't really read the book, but glanced (if not just read the Table of Contents) and hastily decided that it was nothing more than a pages of utter trash.
   
   Now, I'm not a parent, but have had sufficient experiences with children and contacts enough to know a little bit about spanking. (Edit: and child-rearing) But first of all, we need to descry that spanking is not what Tedd Tripp advocates solely. Just declaring this book to be a 'spanking manual' is a gross generalization and a telling evidence that people need to be more cautious in reading books. Especially a valuable read like this. (And mind you, I don't know anything about Tedd Tripp nor am I his fan or associate. I'm a perfectly neutral third-party who has read the book.)
   
   If Tedd Tripp indeed advocates ONLY spanking, then why is there any need for him to mention God? And why do other chapters in this book discuss other methods and examine them? Mz. Ragan clearly did not read or pay attention while she was reading.
   
   Parents are tools that God uses and Tripp makes that quite clear enough. Parents are given AUTHORITY to exercise their stewardship; to guide their children to know the Lord (fear, love, seek, etc). NOT to be GOD themselves! (I guess reading between the lines can only go too far)
   
   People who dislike spanking and criticize the book for that reason only are missing Tripp's point as well. He clearly states in chapter 11, what the parents' reasons for 'the rod' should be; an instrument of 'wisdom', the fear of the Lord.
   
   If any true Christian has read the books of the Bible like Proverbs and TAKES THEM SERIOUSLY, he/she should not have qualms with Tripp's claim that 'the rod', or corporal punishment, does that quite effectively.
   
   Scripture:
   
   Prov 3:11-12 (NIV) My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
   
   And the discipline the children can receive need not be directly from God himself (often in forms of serious suffering) but can be learned from parents as well, who are not separate authorities, but derivatives of God's authority.
   
   We Christians must remember that God is not just God of mercy, compassion, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands (generations) and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin.
   He is also the God who 'does not leave the guilty unpunished. He punishes the chilren and their children of the parents to the third and fourth generation.'
   
   If all Christians are preaching nowadays is universalism, pluralism, or modern/post-modern, humanist, secular understanding of humans, then Jesus has no place in anyone's lives and no Christian is Christian. The books of the Bible are not historicized fiction, fictionalized history, or some mythology or folk-ID forging. It is the Word of God, living and active, not like the rip-off Qur'an or any other human invented trash that God finds disgusting and revolting. It is the highest authority anyone can look to, not just some religious fanatical writing as many blind fools would like to believe.
   
   And I know that Tedd Tripp has done quite a wonderful job in addressing the Word of God wisely in terms of parenthood, an important aspect of Christian stewardship.



2. This is a good book but if you want an invaluable resource for raising children To Train Up a Child by Michael Pearl is even better. It is clearly the best resource a parent can have if they truly love their children. I am well aware that many people who do NOT do their homework say it is bad but if you ask them if they have read the book they almost always say NO! If you train the child with love you will DISCIPLINE 90% less than if you do not.



3. I had no idea how many things I was doing wrong!!! And everyone thinks I am a good parent. By the worlds standard, I suppose I am. By Gods standard I was falling way short! Ted Tripp has shown me how to be kind and loving to my children. To explain to them why we do what we do, not just because I want it, but, because God calls up to do it! What a concept! IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN PARENT, THIS IS A MUST READ! I am enjoying parenting so much more, now that I am in line with Gods will!



4. The Pearls are Christians that advocate beating children. Tedd Tripp's book is more insidious than that because it seems reasonable, but it's the same idea dressed in sheeps clothing. The theology is basically "beating the sin" out of your child- which isn't Christian at all!! I recommend something more along the lines of "Grace Based Discipline".



5. Not only does this book give you insight for raising Godly children, it challenges you to become a better example to your children and correct the things in your life that are not Christ-like.

5 comments about The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old.

1. This book is the strangest book on childcare I've ever read. Monkeys and cavemen, I wonder how Nanny 911 would handle Dr. Karp and his children in his home. I guess it's how one believes if we came from Adam and Eve or monkeys. I'm having problems with his approach, if the ideas presented in his book create the kind of relationship I would desire to have with my children.



2. Although there were some good ideas in this book, I found comparing a child to a 'neanderthal'and all the prehistoric parenting talk (as if we are training chimps) a bit disconcerting. I also didn't care for suggestions to use 'magic words, magic or invisible protective suits, magic water, secret super spray, talismans, etc"., as a means of calming bedtime fears. The author tells us to 'growl' at our prehistoric toddlers to show them we mean business. He even suggests learning to growl convincingly by practicing in the mirror. Neither we or our children are animals. We are people, made in the image of God. We don't need pagan rituals (offering cookies to the smoke detector alluded to in the book), magic of any type, or animal training techniques to raise our children. I find much of this book ludicrous to say the least.



3. Save your money! What a bunch of bunk!! On top of this the author advises to lock the child in the bedroom if there are issues when putting them to bed, major issue if a fire happens, not to mention abusive to the child!
   
   Also I do not like the fact that the author refers to children as "chimps", offensive!



4. Book does not get to the point. Book goes on and on about useless stuff.



5. Here is my toddler's reaction to the Fast-Food Rule- "I don't want you to act like me!!! I want you to give me/do what I want!!! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! or I'll throw up!".
   
   I am not here to critique Dr. Karp's book, because after his Happiest baby's 5S calmed my baby miraculously in less than a second, I REALLY wanted him to help me handling my toddlers tantrums, but unfortunately it didn't work. I think there is something wrong in his theory about toddlers. Though I agree that toddlers are really LIKE cavemen and monkeys (mine play only with sticks and stones and DOES look like monkey more often than not) doesn't really mean that they EXPECT us to behave the same. I DID try so many times to mimic my toddler's emotions (I even watched the DVD to be sure I do it all right), but my son not only would NOT calm down, but he would cry even more to the point he'd throw up. It didn't take too long to realize this Rule is not for us. My toddler may be a caveman, but he looks at me as a mature and strong person who will always protect him, warn him about dangers, but most importantly, HELP him deal with emotions not mimic them...I AM fun, when it comes to play, I may act as a caveman, but when it comes to routines (like difficulty falling asleep, leaving the playground) or dangers, I am the one to HELP him and PROTECT him and he expects me to be his SUPER mom, not a caveman!!! So, with time I came with my own rules that work so great that I hardly remember the last time my son had a tantrum and...my rules involve lots of EXPLANATIONS and PROMISES and DISTRACTION, but mostly HUGGING and LOVING, many of those are proved by Dr. Karp to be ineffective.
   I admire Dr. Karp and his great discovery about babies longing for the uterus, but that doesn't mean that all babies become the same toddlers and I am sure that back in stone age there have been some difference between cave toddler and cave mother, but Dr. Karp says that when it comes to handling emotions both behave the save. Besides, every toddler has an unique personality. My advise is ... don't waste your time with this book, it won't help you and may confuse you even more. Instead, get to know your toddler and find your unique approach to his/ her unique personality. Another book that I found to be very helpful in my case is "Raising your Spirited Child" - the authors gives different approaches to different spirited children and proved to be effective dealing with tantrums and night waking.

5 comments about The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, Revised Edition.

1. As a clinical psychologist, I have found this book to be invaluable in learning how to screen for Sensory Integration/Processing Disorders, to make recommendations for more precise assessment & services, and to educate parents and other clinicians about this area of practice. Most mental health clinicians--and even teachers--are fairly unknowing when it comes to this topic, I have found. I know that I was certainly in the dark about it until obtaining this book. The only complaint I can make is that the actual book itself is 'poorly integrated' and just completely fell apart after a couple of years! I wish there was a hardback version, but I am going to order a copy of the revised edition and hope for an improved binding! Highly, highly recommended for clinicians, educators, and parents.



2. This book has been Heaven sent, in helping to understand and developed stratigies for my 4 year old son, with Sensory Intergration function and High Functioning Autism. Don't get me wrong it is not a cure all, but helped me understand his sensory issues; therefore, I could aide him in certain areas. I was also able to communicate better with his OT and Developmental Pediatician. I have gained an insight into which sensory areas he has difficuly with. One Example: Never really understood why he would only sleep with 3 blankets over him, covered head to toe. After reading this book, I have come to realize he has a sensory need for deep pressure/touch. Light touch/pressure stimulates a pain response for him. Once this was realized, I spoke with his OT who gave me a list of techinques to intergrate deep pressure into his daily routine. Now this need is not as frequent in some areas. Highly recommend this book to anyone who cares for or teaches children with sensory issues. I have recommended this book to two parents, whom were grateful to have read it. It's clear cut, not full of medical jargon. I am gratefull to the authors for writting this book.



3. I found this book to be very informative about sensory disorders and ways to help children overcome them.
   
   The first section dealt with the types of sensory disorders. This became somewhat drawn out for me. There were paragraphs about each type of sensory processing along with a chart of normal and SPD kids reactions. I found that the charts were more interesting to read and that I was able to see the disconnection of the child with SPD much better. The checklists for identifying which SPD your child might have were interesting in the details it provides. Unfortunately(?), my son never really fell into one category but had a few "hits" in many categories.
   
   The second part dealt with ways to help SPD kids overcome their issues. I found this section to be the best part of the book. It showed ways to provide support at home and at school. It gave examples again between normal and SPD kids. I found myself highlighting much of the chapter on how to help kids with SPD progress. I'm looking forward to working with my son on those activities.
   
   Overall, the book was very good. For those who have researched SPD before, the first section might be a bit repetitive. But, the second section was well worth it!



4. This book was recommended to me by my son's occupational therapist. I finally got around to reading it about six months into his therapy. My only regret is that it took me so long! It brought comfort to my husband and I that much of our child's "difficult" behaviors could be explained in such a sensible way. For instance, we never could understand why he would hit other children at daycare when they tried to gently touch his shoulder. Now we realize that light touch actually is painful to him. The quizzes are wonderfully effective tools. They helped us to know what specific things we needed to ask our OT to help him with.



5. This book is awesome. It helps you understand sensory issues and how to help with them. I highly reccomed this book!
   Barbara v