5 comments about How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To.

1. Forgiveness is not always as easy as some would like to think. For those who have been victims of a deep hurt, this book provides insight and a way forward without platitudes and simple panaceas. Through personal experience, I've learned that forgiveness is a process, and that responses to injury are more varied than simply "forgive" and "not forgive." Spring proposes that there are four possible responses, two of which are healthy, and two of which are not. She describes each response in great detail, its benefits and harms, and gives both victims and offenders a road map toward Genuine Forgiveness.



2. This book is very helpful to anyone who has been hurt deeply in a relationship. The book is not just about affairs. It is helpful for both the offending party and the victim. Well - written and easy to follow with advice that is easy to put into practice.



3. This book hit the nail on the head with how I really felt in my situation. I only wish my therapist and my husband would read this book. It spells out exactly what a person needs to hear and feel in order to genuinely forgive and reconcile.
   
   This book clears up many of the common misconceptions about forgiveness and is very validating. It's a good resource for both the hurt party, and the offender.
   
   There are four ways to responding to a hurtful offense.
   
   Cheap Forgiveness -which is often granted too quickly, issues are swept under the rug, usually this is done when the hurt party fears rejection and just wants to keep the peace. Issues are not resolved, healing doesn't occur, trust is not rebuilt and resentment builds.
   
   Refusing to Forgive- Refusing to forgive, no matter what the offender does to try and earn forgiveness. Refusing to forgive breeds bitterness and cuts you off from resolving the situation.
   
   Acceptance- This is done when the offending party is no longer around or refuses to show remorse. It's the hurt party's way of healing and moving on and not letting the situation eat them up. Can happen with or without reconciling, usually, acceptance with reconcilliation occurs when the hurt party lives apart from the offender.
   
   Genuine Forgiveness- the most healing, fulfilling form of forgiveness.
   
   It's commonly believed that Genuine Forgiveness is a one-person job. That it's granted unilaterally. Or that forgiveness is unconditional. It's none of these things. Abrahms-Spring talks about how Genuine Forgiveness is a two-party transaction, and requires participation on the part of the offender, as well as the hurt party. Genuine Forgiveness IS conditional, because the offender must earn forgiveness, show remorse, repentance and want to reform. It means the offender must acknowledge the hurt party's pain, show empathy, apologize without making excuses, justifications or throwing in qualifiers ("sorry, but...") and work to earn back trust.
   
   When genuine forgiveness is not earned, all you can offer is a cheap substitute. (Cheap Forgiveness) Genuine Forgiveness occurs when the victim no longer has to hold the wrongdoer accountable for their actions, but the wrongdoer holds himself/herself accountable for their actions.
   
   Forgiving is not an all-or-nothing type of thing. It's a common myth that someone needs to forgive 100% or not at all. Not true. You can forgive 5%, 95% or any number above or below, or in between, depending on your situation.
   
   The writer also teaches you how to forgive yourself.
   
   There are many references to infidelity in this book, but this book is good in helping one to forgive any type of wrongdoing or betrayal.



4. There's considerable thought put into this book. It puts many current and widely acknowledged ideas on their heads with reasoning anyone can understand. If you're struggling with relationship issues, this book is for you.



5. This book is truly one of the most helpful books I have ever read. My husband had an affair with a friend of mine and we are in the midst of much counseling, etc. I need help with the forgiveness part--both for my husband and my friend. The book speaks about forgiveness choices...Cheap Forgiveness, Refusing to Forgive, Acceptance and Genuine Forgiveness. Because my friend will not take responsibility for her part in the affair, I can deal with it by "Accepting" not her behavior, but the fact that it happened and go on with my life without so much anger. My husband and I are working towad Genuine Forgiveness, NOT Cheap Forgiveness which would ultimately get us no where in trusting one another. Dr. Spring gives precise guidelines to work with using knowledge from her clinical work. This is not just a self-help book. It's real help for people who are truly hurting. Thanks so much.

5 comments about The Act of Marriage.

1. Sent this to my daughter as my sisters insist it inspired and dramatically improved their love life.



2. my fiancee and I are reading this as our weding date comes. some chapters we are waiting tell the wedding is done before reading, but a good book.
   LaHaye doesn't know anythign about end times and novel theology should always be "left behind", but this is a good book



3. I was given this book as a present and I didn't start reading it until things were NOT that exciting in the bed between me and my new husband.
   
   Ladies, all you need to read is the chapter "For Women Only" and your sex life will be changed forever!!! Since reading our sex life has gone from "guess I have to do this" to "can we do it again?!?!"
   
   I give it to every newly married couple as a gift. I've given it to 7 girlfriends and all 7 of them have reported that it was the "best gift ever" and thanked me immensely for it.
   
   I recommend it to newly married couples or for those who would like to find more enjoyment in their sex life. God created sex to be enjoyed by both men & women & this book is a great guide to help you enjoy sex to the fullest!



4. Every Married couple or soon to be, should read this book. Wish I would of had it when I first got Married.



5. What really turned me off about this book was when I read the chapter on "Sane Birth Control". I would have skipped that chapter since I have no interest in being a parent. But something prompted me to read it. I found a condemnation of the childfree lifestyle. Apparently, the authors have no familiarity with childfree issues. Nor did they seem to have much understanding and sympathy for those who would like to have children, but are physically unable to do so. The authors also do not acknowledge that women's roles have expanded since the early 20th century. The idea that most married women are or will be stay-at-home moms is not reality. I cannot recommend this book.

5 comments about Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in You and Your Kids.

1. I am a huge fan of this book. The honor based parenting approach is the only approach that works. The authors do a fantastic job of laying out the problem, the solutions that need to occur with the parent FIRST, followed by how to teach it to our children. I have used this approach for the last year and have noticed a drastic difference with my 6, 5 and 2 year old. Speak with honor to your children (not with the typical frustration, irritation and hurried tone we are all so accustomed to as parents) and watch your children model the behavior they have witnessed in you.



2. Talks a lot about honoring and not being so selfish. Good resource book to keep on hand and keep reminding ourselves how we can improve our family life with God's house.



3. This is a great resource for parenting. Gets at the heart of the issues, not the symptoms



4. I've just started using this with our 7 year old and it's awesome! It deals with the attitude of the heart when doing anything - from just brushing your teeth to the really big issues. Having discussions about honor really makes him stop and focus on the big picture. For example, when you just left the bathroom, did you stop to look around and make sure you didn't leave it a mess for the next person and what one thing can you do to make it even better? There's questions for thought at the end of each chapter that reference scripture, so it's really cool to be able to integrate these thoughts with your child in the realm of how would Jesus want us to behave?



5. The basis for the model in this book is honor--treating others as special, doing more than expected, and having a good attitude. It is very similar to Shepherding A Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp but is much easier to read. It gives practical application of the techniques and concepts. Be prepared to recognize the poor attitudes of your own. It's challenging, but worth the effort.

5 comments about It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18.

1. I have 3 kids, almost 4 yd girl, 2 and 1/2 yd boy and 1 yd boy. Like most of women, it's easy to understand girl's point of view for me. My daughter is a typical drama queen/very pink/very princessie girl. My son #1 is a fun little guy. He loves to tease his sister, of course and us (parents), to experiment whatever he can think of, and is very physically active. Son #2 is learning from his brother A LOT. I've heard that boys and girls are different and I do agree with it, but I just didn't know how their brains work. This book opened my eyes to see their perspectives. I'm just so glad that there is somebody who loves boys and cherishes their nature so well that mom like me can learn and get to know about my own sons more. What we know about our sons and information from the book definitely supports to get to know them better. My concerns has been lighter!



2. A real value for money purchase. The book arrived on time , in excellent condition. The book is interesting , I have recently begun reading it , I would recommend it for mothers with sons. Thanks AMAZON!



3. I felt that the book was geered for parents with only "stereo-typical" boys, which I do not have. If your son is a typical high energy boy, then this is the book for you. If your son is more sensitive and laid back, there is not much in this book to answer your questions or validate your parenting tactics.



4. I am very much enjoying this book. It has helped me understand my son and my husband better.



5. A quick review to state how this book has helped my mind.
   We have an almost 3 year old boy. He's been called busy, wild, spirited ...
   I call him my little firecracker! You get the idea. He is nonstop.
   Reading through the age related pages has really put my self at ease.
   Certain sentences run through my mind now while we live our days!
   I now have "reasons" for his actions and behaviors -it makes sense now.
   Well, more sense anyway! I feel that i am more patient and tolerant.
   Both of us, mom and dad, have read through his age pages and have found it very reassuring.
   We will definitely have this book on hand for the next 15 years!
   I really recommend this book to parents and caregivers of boys ...
   it can shed some light for sure!

5 comments about Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents.

1. The best book I've found so far! Practical ideas for all parents. I've implemented a lot of the tips and it works wonders!!!!!



2. Of all the many books I have read about child rearing, this book is by far the best and most useful book for dealing with your everyday (and not so everyday) problems. Betsy's words are relatable, concise and her approach makes complete sense. Her advice is presented in a readable (often very funny) manner that translates very easily to the real world. From nose picking and back talk to table manners, sex and death, this book covers it all. Besty's words are absolutely invaluable. Buy this book and refer to it often. You will not be sorry!



3. Some of the suggestions in this book are okay, but some are a bit far fetched. Go with your instincts. Truth is...you know your children and what works best with them. This, to me, is another person's opinion and should be taken that way.



4. Not even fully finished with the book and already must give it 5 stars. My husband and I love the easy to read format. We have a 17 year old from his first marriage and a new baby on the way. This book has helped us in so many ways. We baby sat a almost 4 year old boy the other day and this book came IN HANDY. With in minutes we had him listening to us and walking with us in the store. Much better then he does with his mother (he runs away all the time). We are also reading "Scream Free Parenting". I want to give both books to every parent. I say it's a must buy!



5. I started reading this book but it wasn't what I needed so I stopped reading it after a couple pages. It might be OK if you needed advise on how to answer questions about death and etc, but I had already gone thru that time with my kids/grandkids.

5 comments about The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting.

1. I rarely laugh out loud when reading. This book caused people to give me odd looks on the commuter bus. Hilarious, wickedly satirical, with a good message underneath it all. Properly written, with illustrations straight out of the 1950s. I loved it.
   
   I'm guessing the people who gave this book a poor review don't "get" The Colbert Report, either.



2. I've given this book to two adult (that is: over 30, educated professionals who don't intend to surrender their entire lives and minds over to the little one) couples as shower gifts. Both times, I was told how much the recipients enjoyed it. It's a tongue-in-cheek but practical book to raising children without devolving into their Barney-babbling slaves. I'll definitely order again when the next set of friends is expecting!



3. I gave this book to an expectant mother in her eighth month who was tired of being pregnant and just wanted to have her baby. She lauged out loud and finished the book in an afternoon. She said it made her forget her extra weight and back discomfort. Since then, I have given it to others expectant mothers and grandmothers-to-be who have also enjoyed it immensely. Warning, this is a tongue-in-cheak book which tells you the proper age to have your child mix cocktails. Not for those without a sense of humor.



4. Despite the scholarly title, The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting, is NOT an expert approved, exhaustively tested, lawyer vetted guidebook for the raising of children. Rather, it is a HUMOR book, one woman's personal reaction to a certain type of parent that we are ALL familiar with while TRYING to be funny. (If you don't know of any parents who fit these descriptions that MIGHT be because YOU do.) Thus, Ms. Mellor makes use of exaggeration, irony, and even deliberately trying to shock. Chances are that if you find yourself getting mad, you are supposed to be laughing instead.
   
   Now does this mean there is NO useful advice contained within? Au contraire! However, you WILL have to glean such nuggets from among the jokes. Teetotalers should not overreact to "advice" to turn every child activity possible into an excuse for drinking alcohol because I think even Ms. Mellor would concede that parents who take nothing else from her book than an excuse to drink more often have missed the point. Pet lovers should not overreact to arguably sensible cautions to think long and hard before acquiring a pet for your child because few know better the all too frequent result of NOT thinking long and hard: abandoned pets.
   
   However, Ms. Mellor's most important advice is more general. First, your children like all children, need to be TAUGHT how to behave, and if you do a bad enough job of it, your children will suffer the consequences all the rest of their lives. Second, while parenting is arguably a lifetime job, the heavy duty work is a temporary one. If you make your children too much of an obsession, you will be totally lost when they finally leave home, and you might not have any friends (or spouse) left by then.
   
   Note: Ms. Mellor continues her parenting course in Three-Martini Family Vacation: A Field Guide to Intrepid Parenting while Were You Raised by Wolves?: Clues to the Mysteries of Adulthood is a remedial course for children whose parents failed to apply the lessons of the first two books. As for the OOP We Were Here First, Kid and the not yet in print You look fine, Really, your guess is as good as mine.



5. First, for those who missed it, the comments about martinis are tongue-in-cheek.
   
   I laughed out loud over some of the reviews which describe the author as not liking children or being intolerant of other parenting techniques, because I *KNOW* what those people's kids are like. The author does not dislike children nor is it alternate parenting techniques she is intolerant of--it's the whiny, spoiled rotten brats they produce she doesn't like.
   
   I'm pediatrician who's been in practice a long time, and I spend all day with kids who cover the spectrum. I love kids. I hate whining. Here's a news flash for some parents--most kids are not actually whiny! Find that hard to believe? Then yours probably are.
   
   This is actually my single favorite parenting manual. Yes, there's a lot of hyperbole, but the underlying message, that kids should join your world and not take over the universe, is one that a lot of parents don't seem to understand these days. This book gives parents permission to set boundries, to actually take some personal time and to plan activities for themselves, not just their kids, without feeling guilty about it. Happier adults with balanced interesting lives make much better parents.
   
   So, if you want to raise a self-centered, whiny pill of a child incapable of entertaining himself, sleeping in his own bed or calming himself down without breast feeding when he's four or five, who thinks that saying the words "excuse me" is a free pass to interrupting adult conversation, and who believes the entire adult population was put on the world to cater to his every whim (and god knows apparently a lot of you do, because you seem to put a lot of time and energy into it) this really isn't the book for you.
   
   If, on the other hand, you want to raise a happy, healthy, responsible, self-confident child who understands that life should be balanced, doesn't argue endlessly when you say "no", says "please" and "thank you" when you're at friends' houses, who you can take to a restaurant without worrying about how she's going to behave, who eats the well-balanced dinner you've spent a chunk of your evening preparing, who is capable of entertaining herself for an hour or so (without turning on the television!) while you do other things, who goes to bed at night without tantrums and most of all who your friends and family enjoy being around, then you're going to love this book.
   
   And no, I don't expect kids to be perfect--far from it! But I do expect them to be raised with some modicum of boundaries and manners. And I expect parents not to completely give up their adult lives and relationships. For what it's worth, there are far more pleasant than unpleasant children around, but boy, can the unpleasant ones ruin an afternoon, dinner out, or a family gathering!!
   
   No, it's not a manual of precise techniques (for that, check out the Super Nanny website--Jo has a lot of good videos there) to suddenly tame the child you've let run your life for however many years, but it's an important book about the role children should play in a family.
   
   As I tell my patients' parents, yes, your child should BE the center of your universe, and they should feel safe and secure in life and in their relationship with you, but they shouldn't BELIEVE they're the center of the universe. Otherwise, they're in for a really rude awakening later. Raising children other people don't enjoy being around does the kids a huge disservice. Not to mention the rest of society who has to interact with them.

5 comments about How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends.

1. I found this book to one of the more insightful of the few others on the same/similar subject I had purchased.



2. The easiest way to get to know people is through conversation. Don Gabor outlines the basics of engaging in conversation, and provides tips and techniques to help you overcome initial shyness, ease your way into good conversations and, thereby enhance your business and social life. He applies plenty of practical troubleshooting advice to many typical conversational scenarios, and points out some potential roadblocks that can impede good conversation. Before you even open your mouth, you need to become aware of your body language and that of others. Gabor suggests ways to build up your sensitivity to nonverbal communication so you can apply various conversational techniques, such as "active listening" and scoping for "hot button" topics to start, build up and maintain a dialogue. getAbstract recommends this primer as a quick boost to help you reach out and connect with people in all settings.



3. All common sense stuff like smile, be positive, give out sincere compliments show interest in what others are interested in, nothing new , I heard all these ideas before, waste of time and money.



4. The title is sort of a lie, it's more than just starting conversations, it has plenty of great ideas for conversation in general, if you're a bit shy or just not comfortable talking to people you don't know, this book is awesome.



5. A CD's title can often intrigue me . . . such was the case
   with HOW TO START A CONVERSATION by Don Gabor,
   a communications consultant/author.
   
   Gabor promises on the cover that "you'll be amazed at how
   fast you can learn how to start a conversation just by listening"
   to his audiobook "and by practicing the skills with everyone you meet!"
   
   Furthermore, he urges listeners to "just think of how much more
   confident, poised and successful you'll feel when you can walk into
   a roomfull of strangers and strike up a conversation with anyone there."
   
   I don't know if anybody will get to quite that level after
   just one time listening to this CD, but methinks that several
   times will certainly get you moving in the right direction . . . there
   were many good examples; what I liked most was the fact that
   several of them were actually acted out in the program.
   
   Although this was a relatively short program, I nevertheless gained
   much information from it; among the tidbits were the following:
   
   * By initiating more conversations, you'll reduce your fear of rejection.
   
   * Taking the risk to start a conversation gives you the opportunity to
   guide it.
   
   * Look for people doing what you like doing--e.g., dancing--then go
   up to them.
   
   * Three easy ways to start a conversation: Notice something positive and ask
   the person a question, notice something the person is wearing and ask
   a question and comment on the situation you're both in and ask a question.
   
   * Right after you meet somebody, say his or her name aloud. Then
   repeat it as often as possible.
   
   * Self-disclosure is a way of sharing information about yourself. Make
   it positive.
   
   Gabor also provided the narration for this CD . . . overall, he seems
   to really know his stuff . . . consequently, I wouldn't mind reading and/or
   listening to something else from him.

5 comments about Naptime Is the New Happy Hour: And Other Ways Toddlers Turn Your Life Upside Down.

1. I think I liked this book every more than sippy cups! Makes me feel like I am not alone out there and personally I love sarcastic humor. Too bad I live on the east coast and can not immediately try to make myself Stephanie's BFF.



2. This book gives a perfect description of what "normal" moms are. As a mother of three, most days I don't start cleaning or getting dressed unless I have to leave the house or an hour before my husband gets home. The author gives us the OK to do that citing that she is just like us. I think moms worry too much about how their children will turn out if they make mistakes too often. I make them all day long and my kids are fine, as the author states about hers.
   
   The author tells her tales from finding a pre-school that doesn't involve a brief case and punchcard for kids to admitting that having sex once a month is normal after children. This book seemed to speak directly to me and my life. It made me feel like a better mother. Don't miss out on this one, ladies!



3. I think this is a very cute book, easily read, very relatable and the writing is quirky but solid! My thoughts are that while this book is a great read the first time I don't think I will ever read it again.... it is just not one of those books you need to read more than once. I do feel it is worth reading so borrow it from the library on your way home from story time.



4. The fact that publishing houses are now multinationals means that most new books are, in essence, washing powder: marketed to meet a particular demographic. And this "author" is responsible for some of the most perfectly packaged bilge in a very, very deep reservoir of bilge. Another depressing foray into her inadequacies as a mother, this book is to be avoided as studiously as her first.



5. This book has everything a stressful mom would need. Humor, truth, and more humor. I laughed and cried with this book. I highly recommend this book to anyone with children.

5 comments about The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No.

1. Having been on the operations side of professional services firms for years, I have had my fair share of working with sales people who had a speech impediment - they could never say NO. Once I became a sales person myself, I understood the pressures of sales pros to meet quotas and ensure they can make the next lease payment on their BMW. But I also knew that companies wanted consultants and sales people to tell them no, and set boundaries for their engagements.
   
   William Ury's book tells, quite simply, how to deliver a "positive no" and emerge with a much stronger relationship. If you are in sales, you have to read this book. If you are on the delivery or operations side, you must get this book for both your sales people and your consultants. It will transform your client relationships like you wouldn't believe!



2. Let me badcktrack a bit. "Getting to Yes" by Fisher and Ury was a good book that introduced a few important concepts, such as the principled negotiator, win-win and so on. But, I did not like reading it - dry and uninspiring.
   
   The sequel, "Getting Past No" by Ury was a much better book (in my opinion) and I really enjoyed reading it - a few times! Great book - highly recommended! This just in case you think I have something against Bill Ury - no, on the contrary, I hold him in high respect.
   
   So, I had high expectations of Ury's latest brainchild - this unfortunate treatise on the meaning and importance of NO. I was so dissapointed that I didn't even finish reading it (Does my review still count?;) The book is a drawn-out, laborius and it deals with only one aspect of negotiation. You will NOT learn how to negotiate from this book!
   
   By the way, Fisher's latest book "Beyond Reason" was another dissapointment - after reading a first few pages (carefully, not to leave any greasy fingermarks) I sold it on ebay as new, where I had to lie that it was a great read (I will rot in Hell for sure for that!) "The Power of Positive No" remains to be sold, where I will have to lie again.



3. The Power of a Positive No provides an intriguing view into the delicate, complex, and yet important process of saying no. Whether it be saying no to a professional request from a superior at work or saying no personally to negative and destructive behaviors one may be engaging in, this book explains a pathway to thinking through the process of saying no without damaging or loosing the relationship. The book is packed with several practical examples both simple and complex. Ury's theories are battle tested, and his unique personal experiences as cofounder of Harvard's Program on Negotiations have enabled him to have wealth of exciting and world changing opportunities that have served as a testing ground for these ideas.
   
   The book lays out three critical steps in the process of saying no. Preparing the "No" encourages the reader to dig into the core beliefs and values behind the No answer. This self-reflective section of the book draws parallels with many other leadership authors such as Sergiovanni and Covey. Delivering the "NO" helps the reader understand the importance of asserting the beliefs behind their core decision, and how to find compromise. Finally, Ury encourages the reader to be consistent and persistent through the "No" which increases the integrity of the decision and the decision-maker. While relatively simple in concept, The Power of a Positive No provides an authentic framework for effective decision making and negotiating. This influential book explains how balancing the power of the decision and preserving the relationship is possible and attainable in every situation we face.



4. This book is the outcome of what happened when master negotiator Jim Camp (author of "Start with No!") was invited to a symposium on negotiating at Harvard, and proceeded to blow William Ury & company out of the water. Camp is the real deal and has the data to back it up. The Harvard guys hated Camp and had to regroup to save their academic behinds. If you want the real deal, read "Start with No!", and find out how 'Getting to Yes' and other boooks of that ilk simply reduce you to cannon fodder in the face of an experienced and ruthless negotiator.



5. Good book. I bought to listen during my ride to work. The narrator is a little boring. But the content is great.

5 comments about The Mommy Journal: Letters To Your Child.

1. The book came in the condition it stated and I was very excited to find it since I had purchased one to journal with my daughter, had filled the book up and couldn't find it in the local bookstores. I would place an order again.



2. I really enjoy this journal b/c it takes the pressure off having to write a lot. I've always liked the idea of keeping a journal so that both myself and my daughter can remember all the small details that you think you will never forget but unfortunately do. However, every time I've started a journal, I never got past a few entries b/c I just didn't find the time and felt like it was another chore on my to do list. But with this pre-printed journal which gives just a small space per entry, I don't feel guilty about writing so little and can jot down thoughts very quickly. I would recommend this to any new mom, especially working moms too who will have limited spare time as it is.



3. My husband bought this journal for me several Christmas' ago and it's now the gift I purchase for all of my pregnant friends! It's a way for me to communicate to my daughters, in my own words, all of the things that they are doing now that I'm going to forget in the coming years. LOVE IT



4. I have one of these for each of my children. I don't write as often as I should, but I do love keeping these journals for them. I just write quick snippets from their day which express their unique personalities. A wonderful tool for the busy mommy!



5. I purchased this for my first born and love it so much I am ordering a second for the 2nd one! It has just the write amount of space for me to write down the silly, cute or memorable moments without feeling overwhelmed. I love to scrapbook because I can capture moments without too much journaling but I wanted to capture some of the special little things that you can't take a photo of and this was the answer.
   
   The pages are colorfully illustrated and separated into small sections making it very convenient for me. I love that fact that it's not structured like a baby book with prompts on what to write in such as family history, first tooth, first steps, birthdays, etc.
   
   
   
   "