5 comments about Dear Lover.

1. Dear Lover helped me to understand the yearning I've felt since I've been in my teens. Interesting material for women to get in touch with their own sexuality and needs--probably good reference for males to understand women as well.



2. Oh, hell no. Deida is a clueless tool and this book is misogynistic tripe. Pass it on by.



3. This book has changed the way I see myself and the way that I see everyone. One of the most valuable books I have read. It was not what I expected, but turned out to be better. It's not a black and white, Q&A self help book. Nor does it speak of technique or 'Cosmopolitan'sex tips, etc. It is real. And deep. It is about deep, spiritual love and how to allow it.



4. For me, David Deida unfortunately has some of the qualities of the children's story "The Emperor's New Clothes". There are two reasons why.
   
   The first simply is there are large claims made to what his insights will bring. All his books promise to "guide" us into deeper spiritual understandings in the sexual realm. (And seriously, who wouldn't want that, right?)
   
   The second "new-clothesian" quality of Deida has to do with his form of discourse. The thing about his presentation is, there are copious amounts of spiritual beauty backed up by an subtle but constant wash of judgementalism. The structure goes sort of like this: "you want this, you don't have it, I know why you don't, here is what you need to do."
   But what if one does not totally agree with any of these "stepping stones" to understanding? The answer always seems to be that "you are not open enough yet to see it". "There is some blocking element in you".
   
   Very little of his metaphoric insights about "gender" or "essence" or most any of his ideas for that matter, are ever presented as "one can think of it this way" but rather as "this is how it is". He states every belief he has about sexual spirituality with what I consider a totally unwarranted confidence.
   
   And he has a system of "stages of growth" to pigeon-hole "where you are stuck".
   So yes, of course, I want to "get it". Yes, of course, I want to have the deep blissful place that is "my potential". Yes, I really am wanting to "see the emperor's beautiful clothing!"
   
   But honestly, while he earnestly and often eloquently gives gifts of insight into the subject, he also is rigid, arrogant, patently condescending, and as a writer, can be deadly dull and repetitive. Most of his core "beliefs" are for me painfully flawed. After reading this book, all I could think was, he really does not have much insight into the depth of the feminine essence nor a "feel for" life as a woman.
   
   I would never recommend this book to anyone.



5. Foa all men who truly love their girlfriend... A man must be brave to open in the way Deeida explains. He must be truly brave. Fear keeps our hearts closed and confessing this to your "dear lover" is not for the timid or ego driven sould that populate our world. This book is for the woman brave enough to open her heart, to forgive, to understand, to nurture and to love truly. Men who read this will find the deepest truth in black and white... and it's scary. Men who are brave enough to face their own hearts and who love the woman in their life should buy it and read it... read it again and contemplate everything. I read this with my own "dear lover" as well. May our hearts continue to open.

5 comments about 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy.

1. This book, although it sounded good in theory, was not in practice. While the author has a good idea, she fails to come through. While we should be encouraging couples to work through their problems and be more intimate with one another, Charla Muller gives us women advice on how to "get out" of having sex. She doesn't enjoy the experiment, she is a prude, and frankly, I feel bad for her husband. This book basically throws women back in time. She makes it sound like we don't enjoy sex and it is a chore like any other. In doing something like this, she should have discovered she was wrong, and that sex is great. I recommend "Just Do It" tenfold over this book. It's more realistic. And they don't talk about their children during the sex.



2. Easy to read- enjoyable to the last page. This book isn't so much about sex as it is about relationships, self confidence and how doing just one thing can snowball into all sorts of other wonderful feelings and experiences. I thought it was well written and perfectly tasteful- for all audiences. If you are looking for smut this is not the book for you. Charla is just one of us- juggling family, self, partner and dreams. Well done!!!! A must read!



3. As a husband and father of two, I was intrigued with the title of this book. Is there a woman out there who would actually offer her man a full year of sex? I picked up this book with two thoughts in mind: 1) How did her husband get so lucky? and 2) How do I get my wife to read this book? I was soon to discover that this is not a "how to" book, and to be honest, I was a bit disappointed. But the more I read, the more interested I became. In fact, it was difficult to put down. Charla's observations and accounts are really quite humorous. There were a number of times when I couldn't help but laugh out loud because I'd been through similar situations. In fact, many of the trials and tribulations of her marriage hit extremely close to home (yes, my wife and I once had a heated discussion about whether Santa Claus wraps gifts or not). The more I read, the more I laughed and related. But tucked between the lines of humor is a sincere message--a marriage without regular intimacy is like two good friends raising kids together. And as we married folk know, a healthy dose of intimacy can improve an inconceivable (no pun) number of miscellaneous marital issues. Parents with kids realize that "alone time" in a marriage is a luxury that often gets a very low priority (behind soccer practice, scout meetings, and lawn care). Hey, this isn't supposed to be a guidebook for marital passion or an urban housewife's version of the Kama Sutra. It's a lighthearted look inside the marriage of a typical suburban wife and mother. It just so happens that the typical suburban husband and father can relate to it too. I really enjoyed this book. To be quite honest, I was sorry to come to the end of this one.



4. This book said nothing about having sex or how they done it. I don't beleave it happened.Don't waste your money or your time reading this book. I can't beleave they killed trees to print this book.



5. Great idea - have sex everyday with your partner and then publish a diary. Unfortunately in the hands of Charla this good idea produces an effect akin to reading about your parents having sex. You just don't want to know. The endless asides such as 'Hey thanks Mom!' or messages to friends become increasingly irritating. Charla appears as sexy as the SUV she mentions almost every page. As for Brad he doesn't get a look in as the book is written from a single perspective and he is presented more like a loyal but boring labrador who is able to watch 3 sports channels simultaneously. It is odd for such a book theme that sex is hardly mentioned - in fact it is described throughout as 'The Gift' and I finished the book feeling Brad's first response to decline the offer of daily sex was no bad idea. Somewhere in the middle I decided Brad's view might have been more interesting but by the end I wasn't convinced anything these two bores could do would raise any interest at all.
   The book reminds me of a joke which has the punchline 'she laid on the slab and said fill it'. For Charla the gift seemed to be based upon sacrifice and allowing Brad to get off once a day. Charla, I think Brad might have been happier if you had allowed him to have an affair for 12 months.

5 comments about Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition.

1. I was really disappointed in this book because it said things I already knew, and in a very dry way. I didn't even finish the book. I'd recommend It's Called a Break-up Because it's Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendtinstead. You can be strengthened AND laugh at the same time!



2. An excellent emotional guide for anyone going through divorce/separation. It's best to start reading as soon as things start to unravel. The book gives you clear insight to all the emotions you will go through and all the pitfalls to avoid.



3. This book could have been a "how to..." article; "how to stop feeling guilty if I cheated and abandoned my family" for example.
   However, if you are the one cheated to, and left behind, this book is not so helpful. It is borderline insulting.
   Here is the plot - in every relationship there is one dominate (aggressive, suffocating, bitchy), and one submissive (suffocated, controlled) person. The submissive one is fed up and has an affair, then leaves the marriage. The dominate one is in denial and acts out in anger (sometimes even killing the poor submissive spouse). Then they both go through a range of emotions for different reasons, while everybody has a lot of sex.
   Sorry if I spoiled it for you.
   I could honestly say this is the most boring book I have ever read. There was no need for writing a story after a story, saying exactly the same thing for 250 pages.



4. I read many books when I was struggling through my divorce, but this is the only one that I have recommended to anyone else. I found it so dead on in describing what it feels like to go through a divorce and so helpful in validating my experiences that I have given or recommended it to many of my friends in their divorces. I particularly found the concept of "the end of love and the persistence of attachment" helpful -- the idea that you may have come to hate the person you're divorcing, yet find yourself having a hard time getting away from the habit of attachment to them. This book helped me make sense out of many situations that would otherwise have made me question my sanity. I highly recommend this book!!!



5. Crazy Time clearly was a ground breaking book, and one of the first to confront the new era of the "easy and common" divorce of the eighties to now.
   
   I was able to find bits and pieces of my situation in this book. I appreciate Ms. Trafford's very direct and open discussion of emotions, guilt, sex, and several other topics.
   
   A couple of things to keep in mind about this book - everyone cheats in it. Also, it is completely secular and does not look at marriage as a sacred vow or bond.
   
   Hey, I guess that makes it a better fit for today and the era of Sex and the City anyway.
   
   I did not find much hope in the message of Crazy Time. I fear the "dancing ghosts" and "deadlock" that are emphasized throughout the book.
   
   I think that Ms. Trafford recognized this, and you will note a slightly more optimistic outlook in the Epilogue... But it still feels as if it was added last minute.
   
   But I must rate it fairly high because it does a nice job of frankly discussing so many of the issues behind divorce today.

5 comments about We Belong Together: A Book About Adoption and Families.

1. This is one of my 3-year-old son's favorite books and my 6-year-old daughter loves to read it to him. I think it shows a very positive view, although others in different situations may disagree.



2. I read this book to my son, adopted from Russia at age 3. I felt the message was very appropriate, simple to read, and conveyed how much all of us need each other.



3. We belong together. This book tell the story of all types of families with many different colors and sizes. I bought this book for a friend who adopted a little girl and she is a single mom, It shows that many different types of people which makes a family, you've got the single mom,the single dad, the two parent family, with mom and dad and mom and mom and dad and dad. Every type of family. All you need is love to make a family. I loved the colors and it made me smile. I know it will make any little adopted child smile as well. I was so excited i showed it to all my friends and everyone loved it. Its a must have. SO now what do you think makes a family?



4. I love the illustrations, but as many other reviews said, the message is so one sided and sad. It gives the feeling that the child should be grateful to be adopted. I adopted my son through foster care and have the same reaction when people say what a wonderful thing my husband and I are doing. I always feel they have it so wrong, my son was the wonderful thing that happened to us!



5. I am an adoptive parent and I think this book is cute and sends a great message. My 19 month old son loves the bright illustrations and someday soon he will love to hear the story of our family was formed

5 comments about Your Five Year Old: Sunny and Serene.

1. When I gave birth, I hoped the manual would have popped out right after the baby, alas,I was wrong. We used The What to expect books until they no longer covered our age group. A local bookstore suggested Dr. Ames' books and they have been a GOD SEND! These books are the best from 2 to 5 so far they have been right on the money...Our son turns six in March and we are buying the 6 book tomorrow. My husband & I can not think of any other book(s) that has been more helpful or informative, than those written by Dr. Ames. Kudos to her and her easy to digest books.



2. Although some of the passages in this book and it's companion volumes are quite dated, it is still one of the most helpful parenting books that I have found in 25 years of teaching preschoolers. Many parents through the years have breathed a sigh of relief after reading these books which start with "Your One Year Old" and go all the way up to "Your Ten to Fourteen Year Old".



3. The series is a good crash course on normal development; it helps to know that your kids is going through the same thing everyone else's is; worthwhile if you can get past some of the dated old fashioned stuff.



4. I recommend these books (Your ONE Year Old, Your TWO Year Old, Your THREE Year Old, Your FOUR Year Old, Your FIVE Year Old, Your SIX Year Old, Your SEVEN Year Old, Your EIGHT Year Old, Your NINE Year Old, Your TEN-to-FOURTEEN Year Old. These books were writtten by Louise Bates Ames, PhD, Fances L. Ilg, MD and Sidney M. Baker MD of the Gesell Institute of Human Development. They are NOT a "how to" book for parents -- but rather provide a perspective of life from the child's various ages. I found the books to be of such value that I purchase the entire series for new parents. Somehow I forgot to purchase these books for my niece when she started her family. She expressed some concerns about her seven year old son's behavior (that I knew from experience to be that typical of seven year olds). I purchased the books from the series that will help my niece from here on. She LOVES them! I have a feeling she will use them and pass them along to other parents. My original set are part of my permanent library. I highly recommend these books for your permanent library as well!



5. This book was recently brought to my attention during a problem between my son and his preschool teacher. It has brought great light to the issues and I have information now to better understand my son's behavior, for which we now know is "normal and age-appropriate." Cudos!! I'd suggest getting one of these books for every age of your child to better understand behaviors.

5 comments about Codependent No More: Beyond Codependency.

1. After years of living with an alcoholic man, I found this book through a wonderful counselor. It literally saved my life. I started reading and found myself within the pages. This book opened my heart and my mind to the good things life had for me. Melody's book, Beyond Codependency, is also life-changing.



2. Melody Beattie, a former addict, used to hate codependents (which she defines as "people who have let another person's behavior afect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior"). Codepdendents are most frequently the family members of alcoholics or drug users, but the definition is broad. Beattie thought codependents were hostile and detrimental to the recovery process. When she went through codependency herself, her eyes were opened to the world that these people live in, and to the potential for recovery if one can identify the problem and take positive steps to improve their life.
   
   Codependent No More is a quick and easy read, and it will hit home if you have an alcoholic or a codependent (or both) in your life. Beattie provides example scenarios of codependecy, expounds upon the traits and self-defeating behaviors of codepdency, and provides self-help steps to move beyond codepdency. Although this isn't marketed as a workbook, Beattie provides checklists and open-ended questions at the end of each chapter, and a blank journal to record your reponses would be an excellent companion to the book.
   
   Once you've finished Codependent No More, Beattie's next book (included in this two-for-one) Beyond Codepdency is a guide to the on-going recovery process. It also includes activities/questions to probe the reader's own experience and help him or her get a handle on their situation.
   
   These two books are highly recommended and it is terrific that they are available in one volume.



3. These two books have helped me learn how to take care of myself and how to love myself. These books spoke directly to me as if Melody knew me all my life. I read these after entering recovery from addiction only to find I had been codependent since childhood. These books have helped me learn how to be. They are like Life Handbooks that I never got. I am deeply grateful to Melody for these treasures. These books have done as much for me as biweekly visits to a therapist.
   
   First, Codependent No More helped me see the extent of my codependence, which was like a cancer that affected every part of my life. It taught me how to detach with love, how to feel my own feelings, how to own my power, how to accept myself and others.
   
   Beyond Codependency really put my recovery into action. It covers in simple concrete unambiguous terms how to deal with family of origin issues, how to set a boundary, how to deal with shame, and how to affirm myself. The chapter titled "Breaking Free" is a personal favorite.
   
   How appropriate that these are combined into one. I personally prefer Beyond Codependency, but it is more the nuts and bolts, Codependent No More sets the stage and gives you the big picture.
   
   I highly recommend these for anyone who struggles with having healthy relationships.



4. This book was life changing for me. My stepmom recommended I read it after my divorce, as it had helped her tremendously when she went through hers. My counselor also recommended it. This book does have a lot of references to addiction/alcoholism, which doesn't always apply to everyone, but the information is valuable nonetheless and you can apply it all to your own situation. I saw myself in this book so much. This book gave me strategies for creating healthier relationships and for changing behaviors that I want/need to change in order to do this and be a happy, whole person. Her big theme is "take care of yourself" rather than focusing so much on other people. It offers a very nice balance between how to still be a giving, caring person but not get hurt or lose yourself in the process. I took my pen and underlined throughout the book as I went. I still go back and re-read sections and I find that it is extremely empowering. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. Especially for people who continue to find themselves in relationships where they give more than the other person does, want their partner to change, feel unhappy and used and are not sure why, or just find that they have codependent tendencies.



5. Not happy with the condition of this book at all. Is in worse condition than I thought and will have to buy another better condition of this book. Very dissatisfied. Hope this dealer's other books aren't like this one.

5 comments about The Granny Diaries: An Opinionated How-To Guide.

1. I am a grandmother, but most books directed at me are sickly sweet and thus either are unreadable or make me feel as if I should immnediately don an apron and make some cookies and start patting someone short on the head. This book actually makes it cool to be a grandmother. It's very funny, and the advice could mean your daughter will start taking your calls again



2. Just finished reading The Grannie Diaries and while I haven't had the pleasure of reading any of the San Francisco Chronicle articles by this wonderful and enormously wise grannie, I am certainly going to look up the column! Planning to buy a whole bunch to give as presents to all my new Grannie friends. Going to visit my grand-daughter this weekend and will put into practice what she's taught me.
   Be involved without being intrusive. That is the key to the whole thing!



3. I've always enjoyed Adair Lara's writing and this book reminds me of why I read everything I see that she writes. She is my voice. Our experiences are different but we end up at the same place.
   
   I ordered the first copy of the book for a co-worker who I really thought needed it ; i.e. first time grandmother for an only child BUT grandmother = experienced special education pre-school teacher and daughter = dentist. New mother showing videos so new grandma would know how to diaper and swaddle "right". New grandma trying to do right but a bit lost in the "modern" world.
   
   After reading the book before giving it to her, I ordered a second copy for my great-grand-niece who is also a new grandmother. They're doing better but I realized that it could help her perspecive, too.
   
   I, of course, will ignore all of it when it comes to my step-grands!



4. This book is a MUST for all new grannies and also a fantastic book for not new grannies.I laughed my head off. I have two granddaughters, one who is 3 months old, and it gave me a lot of insight and a lot of laughs. It is worth every penny. BUY IT!! It is even helpful and hilarious if you have friends with new babies. It is a different world than it was when we had babies in the 70's.



5. The Granny Diaries is a great book with great advice for new grandparents. I couldn't put it down and finished it in one reading. However, when I got to the part about the "Other Grandmother" meaning the mother of the father of the new baby I was very disappointed in the way that grandparent was treated. If you are the new grandmother of a child born to a daughter then you will like this book from beginning to end but if you are the new grandmother of a child born to a son and you also happen to be a mother of only sons then you may be as hurt as I was when you realize that the author does not believe that you will ever be as important in the life of your grandchild as the mother of the child's mother. I cannot imagine anything more precious than seeing your sons become fathers. I have two sons and they have just had sons 5 days apart. I am a very proud grandmother and already love those two boys and can't wait to be part of their lives. This book is supposed to be funny and I realize that the author is being humorous about the "other grandmother" but should have been more sensitive to their feelings. If that chapter in the book had been a little more sensitive I would have given this book 5 stars.

5 comments about Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships.

1. This is a must read for individuals with codependant issues. It is written from a biblical perspective by three Drs. Is uses scripture all the way through it. It is very easy reading and very simple to understand. The very best book on codependancy I have ever read. I use it to counsel people.



2. This book surprised me. It fell into my hands with perfect timing in midlife.
   
   While I am not as deeply affected in many areas "lost childhood", "abuse" etc. there are many concepts that were most helpful. I identified with "passive abuse" through emotional absence of my parents and the fact that I measure others' childhood by my own as the "norm" because it's all I know. Also tremendously helpful is the concept of "repetition compulsion" where I am 'driven' to recreate as an adult the home I grew up in - in everything from taste in decor to relational patterns with my wife and children. Despite the quality of lack of it in some areas of the home I gerw up in, it was nonetheless the place I found what security I could. I want that security again. I have been searching for "home" for many years and now I know why.
   
   Other helpful chapters were "The Snowball Effect of Addiction", "Anger" and "Codependent or Healthy Relationships" as well as "Codependent or Interdependent Relationships." We think codependency is something extreme but it is a matter of degree really. We all are somewhat codependent and is at the very least evident in the degree of emotion with which we respond to others. Also "The Roles People Play" in which I could recognize all my siblings at different times in one or more patterns behaving in response to our pain (hero, scapegoat, mascot, lost child, placater, rescuer, martyr etc.)
   
   Finally key chapters were "The Stages of Recovery", "Leaving Home and Saying Goodbye," "Seeing Yourself in a New Light," "New Experiences and Reparenting."
   
   I have recently bought the companion workbook I intend to work through.
   
   I have also begun discussing a few concepts with my siblings and finding some reception and agreement.
   
   Another book that's just as helpful is "Kids Who Carry Our Pain" by Hemfelt and Warren.



3. Excellent self help book. Hard to read the reality of what the doctors are saying. It does get worse before it gets better. I learned so very much from this book and have had it passed on to me. I hope to pass it on to others.



4. Without a doubt, one of the most detailed and researched books about many of the aspects of love and relationships, and why we are the way we are about them. I would recommend this to anyone looking to truly enrich their lives!!



5. Simply put: this book can change your life for the better. I was able to recognize things I have struggled with my whole life but was unable to identify what they were. This brought me a sense of peace I had not experienced in any other book.

5 comments about Reluctant Disciplinarian: Advice on Classroom Management From a Softy who Became (Eventually) a Successful Teacher.

1. This book is a fast read for beginning teachers who might want a glimpse into one teachers journey.



2. This book chronicles the first three years of Gary Rubinstein's teaching career. In the first year he is a self proclaimed "softy," - he wants to believe that if you care about students and have interesting lessons, there is no need for being authoritative and having rules, the (high school) kids will recognize these things and toe the line. This is a myth brought on by watching inspirational movies about teaching too often - you want interesting lessons, and you want to care about the kids, but they also need structure and rules. After being walked all over the first year, he decides to be a complete hard nose his second year - no smiling, no laughing, you care about the kids, but you don't necessarily show it. This also backfires, when he realizes he has become so unapproachable that none of the kids even tell him when one of their classmates dies suddenly. This leads Gary to a comfortable median between being too soft and being too hard, and by combining the two he ends up being a successful teacher.
   
   Quote: "Teachers should be prepared to utter a decisive answer to any question within two seconds."
   
   I liked this book both as a memoir and a book of broad, general advice on classroom management. If you already have things under control and just want a few little new ideas, this book is probably not for you. If you want to get lots of good, general advice for managing a high school classroom, this would be a better fit. I liked this book because it was entertaining, short, and helpful. It acknowledges weaknesses both in learning classroom management at education colleges (where this is often a weakness because theories often don't pan out when confronted with actual children who don't *know* that if you have non book work and you care for them, they are supposed to be good. Rubinstein's book contains bits of wisdom such as, "many students perceive working in groups as not really working at all," calling parents without warning is far more effective than warning students that you will call," and "actions are more powerful than threats."



3. A hilarious and easy read, this book rings true and has really helped me grow as a teacher. I gave it as a gift to beginner teachers who loved it!



4. This book was a good read, but didn't really tell me anything new. The author is very funny and talked about things I definitely related to as a teacher. It just wasn't what I wanted as far as strong ideas for being a good disciplinarian.



5. This book was an entertaining read, I will admit, but I was disappointed by it. When I was a first-year teacher, I probably would have found this a useful book (though there were other books that I found much *more* useful), but as an experienced teacher, I found nothing in it that I didn't already know. If you've made it past your first few years of teaching, it's a waste of money.

5 comments about Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep.

1. I had been struggling with my (now) 13-month-old daughter for months - trying to get her to sleep through the night. Up until last week, she was waking up no less than 20 times a night and would only go to sleep with a bottle. If she didn't have her bottle, she would scream and scream (and I would feel guilty).
   
   I bought this book a few days ago. I followed the advice given and within 2 days she was falling asleep on her own - no screaming. It's great!
   
   It was also interesting to read about the stages of sleep, positive and negative sleep associations, and to hear other parents' stories. The part of the book on guilt was helpful as well.
   
   I would highly recommend this book to other parents of children with sleep problems.



2. I recommend this book to all my parents starting at 1mo. Since doing this routinely I have noticed many more sleeping babies and parents with much less intervention from me. I talk about sleep a lot, but now I dont have to as much! Teaching a baby sleep independence is a vital developmental task (most parents dont realize this), most new parents wait WAY too long, and somehow expect the baby to "do it when they are ready." Waiting until 12mo old is a guarantee of having to "cry it out", and that is OK if necessary, but starting younger will avoid this. I have scores and scores of happy parents from all walks of life who are thrilled with their 6mo old, and the baby is MUCH happier too. You are doing this for your baby, not so much for yourself, children need to sleep longer to function during the day. A 10 mo old who is getting up every 2-3 hours is barely able to function during the day (let alone the mom, especially behind the wheel). Get this book early and think about it and discuss with your partner, you wont be disappointed. BTW, it is much easier to read than the popular "Healthy Sleep Habits" book, which could use a good editor.



3. Our 15 month old has never slept well, ever. He was colicky and had severe reflux (still does). I have read just about every possible sleep book out there, from Dr. Sears "Baby Sleep Book" to Dr. Weissbluth "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to "The No Cry Sleep Solution". None of the non-CIO methods were working on our willful child, and my life (read marriage, health, work, etc) were beginning to show the effects.
   
   After reading up on Jodi Mindell's qualifications on another website, I realized that this might work. Her book is not the all-or-nothing CIO book. She does it in such slow gentle ways, that you don't feel forced into cold-turkey anxiety. We're on night 5 of the first "phase", and things are going amazingly well. There is some crying involved, and it is really hard, but coming from the perspective of nursing and co-sleeping, I think this is the best book out there if the non-CIO methods don't work for you. She only has you tackle one section at a time (i.e. bedtime, nights and naps), rather than all at once. She also flat out tells you to check on your child as often as you'd like (not in 5, 10, 15 minute blocks), that if you can only wait 30 seconds - that's okay. I loved that. It's a no-pressure approach for the weak hearted.
   
   Dr. Weissbluth's book was way too cold-turkey for me, and I never could have done that. By night 4, my son had gone to sleep after 3 minutes of crying and 10 minutes of sitting in his crib. The first two nights took 2 and 3 hours respectively, but the actually crying involved during those nights was surprisingly little (just took the little guy forever to realize that he needed to SIT DOWN and not hover on the edge of the railing).
   
   Good luck on your sleep problems. There are more of us out there than you realize that have been there too!



4. My son didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 19 months old. That was when we started seeing Dr. Mindell. She and her book were wonderful for our family. She is compassionate and offers no-nonsense advice for helping your entire family get to sleep!



5. Why is this the only sleep book you need? Because it is concise, to-the-point, has specific practical tips, and is BASED ON RESEARCH.
   
   The author is active in both clinical practice and research through a Sleep Disorders Center at a Children's Hospital. This is not her personal opinion or general observations, this is based on research and experience specifically with kids having sleep problems.
   
   We used this book to sleep train our twins at 8 months of age, after rocking them to sleep before that. It worked in 3 days. We have gone back to this book again and again as their naps and schedules have changed over time. The book is always helpful.