5 comments about He Loves Me! Learning to Live In the Father's Affection.

1. After reading "The Shack", I was looking for something that would help me put my new-found understanding of what relationship with God can look like into practice. This book did it. It is a biblical look at God's love for us and how it is the foundation of trust and true life-changing relationship.



2. If I had to rate the five most infulential books in my life this one would definitely be on the list. For anyone who is tired of running on the "God is Good...You're Bad...Try Harder treadmill", this book is a source of rest. For anyone who is fatigued at viewing their circumstances through a warped crystal ball that alwasy leaves them wondering if God really cares, this book is a profound journey worth taking. This book had a radical effect on my spiritual journey.



3. If you view your life in Christ not as a religious thing you do but as a journey, you will want this book in your backpack.



4. This book along with it's recommended selections, has literally changed my life. To find, in print, the very things I have wanted to believe about God for so long has been indescribable!



5. In an age of overwork, programs and performance based assessments (of everything), this is a liberating book which majors on God loves for us, such great love. Jacobsen emphasises our need to know God and to abide in Him. He reassures us that we are loved unconditionally and that our service flows from our security in Christ, not as a method to attain that security. Thanks Wayne.

5 comments about The Secret History.

1. I absolutely adored Tartt's other novel, The Little Friend, and I had high hopes for this one too. I was not disappointed. The novel tells the story of five students at an elite New England liberal arts college. All of the students are tremendously, unusually devoted to their studies, and this devotion leads them to tragedy as they murder first, an outsider, and then one of their own. The fact of the murders is not the suspenseful part of the plot. Indeed, the murder of one of the group's own is revealed on the first page. Rather, the interest, intruige, and suspense comes in how the students cope with the knowledge of what they've done. Their suspicion, fear, and even some remorse wreak havoc and lead the group to an even more tragic climax. The main characters in this book are Classics students, and indeed, the book itself reads much like a Greek tragedy, with precipitous decline, and knowledge thereof.
   
   Donna Tartt is a phenomenal storyteller. She creates plots that are deep, rich, and complex. Much like The Little Friend, The Secret History is a highly psychological book. I was absolutely gripped by this book from beginning to end.



2. A pity that she dropped the ball with her second work, "The Little Friend" but some writers only have the one great book in them. Hopefully that is not the case and she makes a comeback with her next novel.



3. I thought this novel was a good psychological thriller. It shows your conscience will get you in the end, but not in a preachy way.
   
   My major complaint is that the stuck-up language and clothing of the characters is just not realistic. Even though they're snobby classics majors, they're still college kids (undergrads, no less) in their early 20s. Here are some grating examples of their unrealistic speech: They say "Goodness" (as in 'goodness gracious') when normal young people would say "God"; they call guys "fellows" instead of "guys"; they say "certainly" instead of "yes"--or, what would be more the norm in dialog, "yeah"; the male characters say "lovely," and they're not even from England. And what college student wears suits on a daily basis?
   
   My brother was a classics major and later studied comparative literature at Harvard, and he and his classmates wore jeans and T shirts and talked normally.
   
   And I can't believe the characters wouldn't be more freaked out by the incest in the book. In that same vein, I don't understand why the characters give camilla such a hard time for moving away from charles. That's about the only emotionally healthy and sane move any of them makes in the book (maybe that's why they give her a hard time--craziness loves company).
   
   Also, it seems unlikely that the characters would be able to inflict such horrendous injuries to the farmer they accidentally kill with their bare hands. I also would think they would be far more traumatized by this first killing than they were, accidental or not. the whole bacchanalia/first killing is definitely hard to believe. And we never do hear about the "carnal proceedings" that took place in the bacchanalia--which the author teases us with early on.
   
   But still, an interesting and well-written psychological thriller. I like the academic and classics backdrop and "secret society" feel of the book.



4. This is, hands down, one of my favorite books ever. Do yourself a favour and read it. It'll keep you up late into the night!



5. "The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation. He'd been dead for ten days before they found him, you know. It was one of the biggest manhunts in Vermont history -- state troopers, the FBI, even an army helicopter; the college closed, the dye factory in Hampden had shut down, people coming from New Hampshire, upstate New York, as far away as Boston."
   
   Richard Papen came to Hampden College as a transfer from a small school in California. Why did he choose this tiny, but prestigious college so far from home? He liked the brochure. And it was about as far away from his parents as he could get. His father wanted him to take over the family gas station and his mother couldn't understand his need to go to college at all. Anxious to be rid of the monotony that his life had become in the small tract home where his parents really didn't seem to care much for him, he applied to Hampden. With a lot of help from financial aide, he was accepted. But mounting the bus to take him to Vermont changed his life forever.
   
   When he arrived, his chosen major was English Literature. But he was fascinated by the students who were "Classics" majors. Richard had wanted to continue his study of Greek, but found that he was not able to register for the classes. They were taught by the enigmatic professor, Julian Morrow. He hand-picked the students for the Classics, and only allowed a handful into the program. While Richard wasn't all that interested in the major beforehand, it seems that you always want what you can't have. Determined to be a part of this group, Richard tried to register with Julian, but was shot down immediately. Only when he happened upon the small group in the library trying to finish some Greek homework did his luck change. He was able to help them find some answers, and was indeed admitted to the program. However, this program was all-encompassing, and Richard had to drop all his other classes.
   
   There were 5 other students in the program: Henry Winter, a tall, dark-haired boy that worse glasses and English suits. He was brilliant and wealthy. He studied endlessly and spoke 6 different languages. Edmund, "Bunny" Corcoran, was loud and rude, but lovable in a way. Francis Abernathy, was elegant and refined. He wore exotic clothes and pince-nez glasses. And again, came from money. The last two of the group, were the twins: Charles and Camilla Macaulay. They were blond and beautiful, sophisticated in a way that Richard had never known. And now he was one of them, although he always seemed to find himself on the fringe of the group. But eventually, they accepted him and even started inviting him to go away to Francis' Aunt's home in the country for weekends.
   
   This book is basically 2 halves. The first is before Bunny is murdered. And the second half is the aftermath of said murder. Strangely enough, it's a bit of a mystery even though you know in the first page who is murdered and who is responsible. Donna Tartt's writing is amazing. It's beautiful, and the story which is a tough read seems to flow with ease.
   "Does such a thing as "the fatal flaw", that showy dark
   crack running down the middle of a life, exist outside literature? I used to think it didn't. Now I think it does. And I think that mine is this: a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs."
   
   Tartt takes a group of kids, albeit not exactly the normal college students, and creates an intense character study of them. She throws in a planned murder and then creates an atmosphere in which their world seemingly breaks down inch by inch. Of all the characters, Richard is probably the least defined. But he is basically a good kid caught up in circumstances that were completely beyond his control. The controlling factor is Henry. From one moment to the next, you have no idea whether he is a soft-spoken intellect with only a desire to fit in, or a cold, calculating man who will do anything to achieve what he really desires: power and control over others.
   
   Even the minor characters in the book are well-written and thought out. Julian, the enigmatic professor who seemingly loves his students. But might just love himself and his reputation more. Judy Poovey, another friend of Richard's is loud and funny. And Cloke Rayburn, the campus drug-dealer, who is a prep school friend of Bunny's, gets caught up in the disappearance of his friend and has no idea why.
   
   Underlying all of this is the group's desire to follow Henry, even though in their minds they know it is wrong. Henry is such an incredible force, and is the epicenter of the entire story. What are his morals? And do they fit with the morals of today's society?? Donna Tartt lays it all on the line, and leaves it up to you to decide the answer to these questions. A brilliant, well-written novel, The Secret History is going to be one that sticks with me for quite some time. I realize this isn't much in the way of reviews, and I know there is no way to do justice to this book. But if it gives you a peek into a fantastic story and makes you want to pick it up, then I guess my job is done!

5 comments about Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too.

1. This book sure helped me survive being a parent! It helped so much that the book was written in a way that I could pick it up, read quickly for the few uninterrupted minutes I could actually get, and then put it down. The cartoons were great- there were some that I copied and hung up around the house as reminders to myself, for the habits that I wanted to form. This book especially helped me learn when to step into sibling disputes, and when to let them work it out. Now that my children are pretty much grown, I'd have to say that this book was probably the most helpful in raising them. They get along quite well!



2. I have read hundreds of parenting books and this one is one of the best by far. It gives you concise, easy directions on things to follow. I keep it out to use as a reference all the time. You cannot go wrong with this book.



3. This book provides good, simple advice and interesting case studies that provide good examples of how to use the advice.



4. A wonderful book on helping siblings get along. But I also highly recommend for parents and teachers the book:Bully-Proofing Children: A Practical, Hands-On Guide to Stop Bullying. More than a bullying book, this really focuses on practical strategies,scripts, actual lessons and stories to teach children conflict resolution, friendship and communication skills; the importance of helping others and getting along with a great design for creating environments that foster love and peace.



5. With a toddler and a newborn it's hard to find time to read anything. This book was such an easy read. The cartoons are a great help because it's simple. I borrowed this from the library but owning one is a must so that I can refer back to it whenever I need to.

5 comments about For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men.

1. I agree with other reviewers that this may encourage women to be less assertive of their needs and more understanding when their husbands are doing things the don't understand/agree with.
   This book did help me understand my man but he's still accountable for his actions.
   He read the counterpart for men and has adapted his behaviors as well. If you have the sort of relationship where you can work together it can't hurt for both to become more understanding!
   This book has religious undertones but it's tolerable.



2. I wish I had read this book at the beginning of my marriage, now 22 years later I am still doing the same thing I did when I first got married with no good results.
   
   Now, I have started changing my remarks in public about my husband that I did not realize were detrimental to how he feels about himself. There are lots of things I never truly realized about men. We are so totally different. I complained about him working long hours and that is one way he is saying he loves me and the kids by providing for us. To me that is a sacrifice to the family, and yet to him it is the man's job.
   
   Just little things like that to help me see things in a different perspective.



3. Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.
   
   "For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - has garnered about 90 comments so far. The few negative reviews were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, often by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!
   
   Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them to date. So far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) about a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, some complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk are from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.
   
   The ladies offered such loving things as:
   
   "Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."
   
   "The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."
   
   "This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."
   
   "If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"
   
   Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."
   
   Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.
   
   Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each.
   
   It's hard, though, to miss all of the gracious thoughts liberally applied to "his book about her," compared to what seems like a sort of begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too, as long as it meets faminine approval.
   
   Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of a Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:
   
   "My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."
   
   Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. Thanks to this little book you dodged a bullet.
   
   Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options...



4. The insights are very appropriate for all married people, because they will open the discussion, and they do so in very clever and insightful ways. = There are good and bad with past, as with present, marriage practices, and to suggest otherwise shows a lack of objectivity.
   I also for women and men recommend I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



5. Just because I think he has thick skin doesn't mean he does when it comes to the things I, as his wife, say. I was hard to take some of this stuff because it isn't talked about in society and it makes it hard to understand. She goes past just saying "men are visual" and actually describes what that means from a mans perspective. My husband was practically in tears when he realized I really was interested in knowing him better. In fact, when I mentioned there was a companion "For men only" he told me to get it. (this from the man who cringes at spending $0.50).
   
   God created men different for a reason. If we really want to understand the majority (there are always exceptions) then this is a great place to start. I think it'll start being my wedding gift to couples.

5 comments about Super Baby Food.

1. I love this book, it answers all my questions. All I do is ask my pediatrition and she ALWAYS gives me the Okay. Not to mention that I feel so good giving my children the best of the best. I have even started growing my own ORGANIC VEGETABLE garden with the help of my entire family. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much Ruth, your advice and guidance is unparalleled.



2. 
   This is a great book to find advice about serving size and eating schedules and what foods to feed at what age. This can be an overwhelming book, but if you just take the parts of the book that you need when you need them, it's very helpful and helps to save ALOT of money.
   
   I do not follow everything, but I do what I feel is best for my baby with this and other books as a reference. As a reference, it is wonderful.



3. I am a 1st time mom and found this book so informative. It's very detailed and provides great tips. The month by month break down of what to feed your baby, when to introduce foods and how is wonderful. My sister recommended it to me and I am now recommending it to my friends. :) You won't be disappointed in this book- unless you are 100% into feeding your baby food in jars perhaps. The author is into breastfeeding and then later on more into making your own food but provides tips for jar-fed babies as well.



4. My baby is not a good eater. He is growing, but not at what my ped believes is a healthy curve. I'm therefore on the lookout for a good guide on how to feed my little boy. This book is generally very good. Great advice on starter foods, keeping food hygenic and what you can expect a baby to eat at different stages. However, my baby eats FAR LESS than the recommended amounts, particularly formula (the book says he should have a minimum of a certain # of ounces; my baby eats half that amount). There are not set amounts per my ped, so this can be a bit misleading. Another "beef" I have about this book (pun intended!) is that the author is very opinionated on eating a vegetarian diet. While I respect her views, I need a more comprehensive book that is not so opinionated since I would like to feed my little boy meat (especially given his weight issues; I can't afford to carve out an entire food group!).
   
   In addition, the book on the one hand covers too much: it goes beyond food and discusses making home-made cleaning products for example. At the same time, it did not adequately cover some feeding issues, such as how to schedule or space feedings for babies who are underweight. I am constantly struggling how I can fit all of my baby's feedings in a 24 hour period, and I would have loved some good suggestions.



5. This was the most useful book I received after I had my little girl. There is so much useful information that a new mom just doesn't know. I enjoyed making the food and finding creative ways to make it even more healthy. I utilized this book long after the baby food diet stopped. I have bought several copies for pregnant friends and always tell them this is the only book you will need......ever.

5 comments about How Not to Look Old: Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter, 10 Times Better.

1. Fun read on updating your look over 50. Creative ideas for changes that can make you feel good and look great!



2. I have this book, and I like it. A lot of publications are geared for the 20' and 30's girls. This book is about evaluating your current look. Its not full of pictures of clothes that I'll never fit into. Its about how to give yourself that polished look, not just clothing but all around.



3. How Not to Look Old: Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter, 10 Times Better The book gave good information on using make-up. They recommended products for $$$, $$, and $ so that everyone could choose what they could afford. Their information on how to dress went overboard - only wear fip-flops at the beach, do not wear comfort shoes ever, no nylons, no suits, no matching jewelry and dress-up each time you leave the house. I am using the book for a reference for purchasing make-up.



4. I ordered this book, even though I was afraid it would be like any other fluff piece. Was I pleasantly surprised! It had real tips for real women. I would recommend it to anyone wanting to look their best, at any age. I know I will!



5. It really bothers me that she didn't even mention the possibility of letting your hair go gray, thereby refusing to submit to the fashion-industry dictate that everyone must look as young as they can for as long as they can -- and beyond. But that's what the book is about, so why am I disturbed by that omission? We owe it to ourselves, our daughters, and society to rebel and go natural, and to make it to-be-expected for more than men in corporate offices to have gray hair. We're encouraging age-discrimination when we don't. We ARE the dominant demographic, and as Gloria Steinem once said, "This is how 50 looks" (although I think it was "40"). Gray hair can be elegant and gorgeous, too. People need to "get used to it" and "get over it," to add more recent cliches that have been favorite sayings among people under 30.
   
   And why did she mention Lancome in her product listings only once and Estee Lauder not at all? (Every woman I've ever known knows that Lancome has the best mascara, regardless of price range.) They didn't provide enough free "product"? To me, knee-length skirts look old and matronly, so there are some things she's adamant about that I simply disagree with and would never do (especially with my knees), but we all have a tendency to get stuck, wearing hairstyles, makeup, and clothes that are familiar, and it's worthwhile and fun to update your style every few years. Getting a free makeup demo at any department store cosmetics counter is a great way to do that, too. This is a far better, more substantive book, with a better tone and approach than the utterly nauseating one of "Staging Your Comeback," which has the egotistic author's photo beside every page number (really revolting). Yet it says something that there are already a lot of copies of this book for sale, used.

5 comments about The Art of Seduction.

1. Like his other exercises in opportunism (on power and war) Mr. Greene falls into that category of writer who leaps on people's insecurities by providing a "how-to" manual in checklist form. As if the art of generalship or political power or sexual conquest was as simple as assembling an Ikea bookshelf. All you need are the right instructions.
   
   This will no more help you understand or become a Casanova than a "23 Laws of being a Fashion Model" will turn you into Heidi Klum. Save your money.



2. I wasn't really impressed by this book as much as I was by 48 Law of Power. The Art of Seduction was more of a history book that wasn't very well organized. Don't get me wrong, you'll probably be able to pick up a few tips and tricks from this book, but if you want more of a manual on seduction, check out some other authors (Neil Strauss, etc). Art of Seduction is decent, but I really just should have spent my time re-reading The 48 Laws of Power.



3. This book covers certain concepts and ideas that you have probably been exposed to throughout your life, however the eloquent and exotic stories the author had woven into each chapters make his arguments potent. Even if you do not agree with the methods this book offers, you will still enjoy reading about it. i also recommend for this kind of topic my favorite book I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



4. I just read Mystery's book, then the new book by Billy Conroy, then this book. Kind of a crash course in picking up women. Unfortunately, this book was third best. I enjoyed Cougars, Poptarts & One Night Stands much better, making it difficult to finish this one. Not enough real world examples here, and not enough laughter. JMO.



5. This book is absolutely fascinating! The historic relations to the content is helpful and provides even more insight throughout the chapters. The book wastes NO time with puffy sentences or grand introductions.... instead the author's every sentence has substance, and you begin to actually learn something right from the beginning. The book is a great tool to completely rebuild yourelf, as well as teaching you the 'art of seduction.' The book is intellegent and complex, yet it's written in a way that is easy to comprehend because it deals directly with its title. The book never loses the focus, and it is on point from beginning to end.
   
   The chapters/sections are just flat out amazing... it's like the proverbial 'light bulb' turning on in your head.
   
   Not only does the book support its title, but it's also a great description of the human condition in general.
   
   Very objective - Provides factual evidence - Non-biased - And downright illuminating.

5 comments about Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know.

1. I would like to commend Dr. Meeker for writing a book focused on improving Fatherhood. Too often fathers forget their influence in raising a strong daughter.
   
   This book gave me a key insight: Take a Stand for your Daughter(s). Most of Dr. Meeker's advice centers around this insight. It is crucial to believe in your daughter and stand up for her morals and virtues.
   
   This book was a good reminder but I found it lacking in a few areas. Most notable was how to drive long-term change. The lessons are insightful but they don't drive a substantial change in a Father's way of Being. Too often we remember a lesson but don't change.
   
   I struggled with Dr. Meeker's data on Faith and Divorce. The common misperception is to take the initial data that stronger father's are married and have faith in God. There is ample evidence to show that the key is to have parents that have strong morals, virtues and a belief in their daughter's potential. This does not require Faith in a single God or a couple that is married.
   
   Having a strong family unit with a father and mother in the same household is important. Again, I differ with Dr. Meeker's opinion that you should stay together for the sake of the children. Your children are intuitive humans and will feel your intentions. Staying together but spiting each other and not communicating will also be detrimental. A commitment to your wife is required for a successful marriage that shows the benefits of a strong marriage.
   
   Overall a good reminder for Fathers on their strong influence on their daughter's perception of men. Strong evidence shows this to be true, and I can attest from my experience with my daughters. My recommendation is to read this book but consider enhancing with stronger changes in your Being, for example reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle or Seven Habits by Covey.



2. It This is an excellent book that really challenges fathers to be the best dad they can be. The book stresses over and over again how important a father is (opposite of the message that pop culture tells us) and that a father is the main person in a daughter's life that determines the direction their life will take. It makes clear that this is not a easy task, but clearly a worthwhile one. It also give you the permission to do what needs to be done.
   
   A Dad needs to be on the front line and a hero for their daughter. This is the opposite message of pop culture. While this book challenges you to be the best dad, it also tells you why you can be.
   
   This book builds you and your ego up as a father by outlining all the power you bring to the task.
   
   Here is a paragraph that sums up the feel and mission of this book:
   "You will have friends that are much more lenient with their daughter. The risks out there are real...don't relax until the battle leaves home (and not even then). This is a tall order, but I (the author) have seen enough heroic fathers to know that it's a tall order that every good man can fill if he sets himself to it. All it requires is that you be a man, a real man, which means a man of courage, perseverance, and integrity. You were made a man for a reason. You were made a man to be strong, loving husband and a father. So listen to your instincts (about protecting your daughter) and do what's right. Be a hero."
   
   Her writing style smoothly mixes encouragement, facts, stories and references for a smooth, balanced and informative read.
   
   Chapters include topics such as:
   Teaching humility
   Protect and defend her
   Pragmatism and grit
   You are the most important man in her life
   She needs a hero
   Teach her to fight
   Be the man you want her to marry
   Teach her who God is
   Keep her connected
   
   The author, Meg Meeker, MD has spent twenty years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine and counseling teens and parents. Dr. Meeker is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and a fellow of the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She is a popular speaker on teen issues and is frequently heard on nationally syndicated radio and television programs. She lives and works in Traverse City, Michigan, where she is married and practices with her husband, Walter Meeker. They have four children.
   
   The author basis her conclusions not only on her own experiences from twenty years in the medical field, but also an extensive usage of outside sources. She details her sources in the back of the book in her Bibliography and Notes.
   
   This book focuses on relationships with daughters and does not mention relationships with sons.
   
   I urge mothers to buy this book for the father of their daughters and I urge fathers to take up the challenge and go to battle for the lives of their daughters.



3. Our first is due in 3 months(our little Chloe) and I heard about the book through Dave Ramsey, I have to say it's been worthwhile. You might not agree with every chapter or suggestion but the most important thought is that we Father's get involved and be the Dad our girls need on many levels. Some of the info might scare some people but I think it's trying to wake up us newer Dad's to the important roles we play in her life and to take the reins and not opt out when it gets difficult or about something we're uncomfortable with. Good book and I will not be opting out, our daughters deserve the best.



4. As a first-time father decided to get this book since it did look promising at first. Unfortunately should have checked out the one-star reviews. This is a terribly written book, based on questionable statistics. The "scientific evidence" that the author claims support her beliefs is questionable at best. It manipulates the facts and misleads readers into thinking that there is tons of evidence in support of her views. Just check the references -- statement after statement refers to the same book or study.
   In one word -- mediocrity.



5. Good message, good examples, well-written, easy-to-read.
   
   Do I give 5 stars for everything I read? No- actually- I can think of another book on raising boys that I read that was pretty weak.
   
   But this is written by a woman who knows what she's talking about (she is a doctor who works with kids and sees their interactions with their parents). All of her points that are opinion are supported by examples from her work. All of her points that are factual are well-referenced.
   
   In other words, she's not just saying what she thinks and what she's observed. She spent a good bit of time researching this material.
   
   MUST read- even if you only have boys, because inevitably, you will have a daughter-in-law, right? and then hopefully grand-daughters....

5 comments about Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition).

1. There are a ton of "parenting" books available but this one is helping me a great deal. Good illustrations and easy to read; the logic makes sense and the love is there.



2. One of the co-authors of this book (Foster Cline, M.D.) is the psychiatrist whose "attachment therapy" resulted in deaths and torture of children. (See "Advocates for Children in Therapy" at http://www.childrenintherapy.org/.) My child -- now 20 and an honors student adored by family and friends -- had oppositional and destructive behavior with tantrums. My husband and I followed advice similar to that in this book, culminating when our son became suicidal at age 8. At that point my husband and I looked at each other with the simultaneous unspoken thought: "We can't keep treating him this way." We instead relied on our own sense of how far to go. Later, when I read, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Green, I said to myself, "This man has written a book describing how we decided to raise our son!" It was such a relief to read, "The Explosive Child." Our change in approach paid off -- and the medications finally were tweaked correctly, and guess what: his behavior changed overnight from awful to excellent. It wasn't that he didn't WANT to behave like others: it was that he COULDN'T. As soon as the medications allowed him to control his behavior and distorted perceptions, all the good parenting and modeling we had done kicked in immediately. "Love and Logic" is based on the belief that natural consequences are all that's needed -- but if your child has a brain disorder that causes a distorted view of what's happening, the consequences you would have to resort to would be torture.
   It's MUCH MUCH better to understand the disorder and how it is distorting your child's thoughts and perceptions, and get it treated by a board-certified child psychiatrist. Also, read, "The Explosive Child." (By the way, our son has not taken any medications in three years. The medications bought him time to mature enough to be able to make use of cognitive-behavioral techniques to control his anxiety. I also think the medications may have allowed his brain to develop normally so that eventually he didn't need them.)



3. My family is getting ready to adopt a special needs child and they were told to purchase this book along with the Martian Child movie. We purchased both of these items and they are very good to help in the thought processes behind a special needs child. The book shows a completely different way in bringing up children versus the old fashioned way. We have not finished the book yet but we are darn sure it is going to help.



4. For the people reviewing this book who think it is cruel to children, or might lead to a drop in self-esteem, I suggest reading a study by a Dr. Dweck. It did a study on praising children, and the gist of the study is that children respond better to being told they are hard workers than being told they're smart. How does this relate to the book? Instead of constantly coddling your child, Love and Logic encourages you to put your confidence in their abilities, implying that you think they can work through their problems. This is great for self-esteem! Taking responsibility for yourself is a huge confidence builder (take it from someone whose mom was still making Dr. appointments for her at 21). Everyone fails. Letting your children make small mistakes ,and believe me, being cold all day because you didn't want to bring your coat is a SMALL mistake, helps them see that they can deal with the consequences of their failures/mistakes, making them more willing to try things. And for those who think Love and Logic doesn't offer good advice about parenting, keep in mind that this is a book about disciplining children. It specifically states in Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood to make sure your children enjoy being with you so that sending them to their rooms seems like a punishment. It also says to set a responsible example and take care of yourself, but that's about the extent of their off-disciplinarian parenting advice. It doesn't make it a bad book, just like you wouldn't consider a history text incomplete for not having math in it. I thought it was a great book and have had much success with it, as has my sister who introduced me to it. I recommend it to anyone I see struggling with their children.



5. I thought this book was just OK. Much of the information was good and I will use it in our home. However, the examples they used in this book were outrageous. Who in this day and age is going to let their kid off to walk home. Also, allowing a child to determine whether they go to school or not is silly.

5 comments about Parenting From the Inside Out.

1. 
   Parenting From the Inside Out, is an excellent resource!
   This book was highly recommended to me, by a psychologist and family therapist. It reveals how we as parents can gain insight, into how our own childhood and past significant family relationships have an enormous impact on how we will relate to and share experiences with our children. It gives wonderful instructions for parents, on how to be emotionally "present" with our children.It also is very informational about brain/mind development.



2. Parenting from the Inside Out is an easy-to-read book on the neurobiology of parenting. It builds upon the attachment theory of child development and contains useful exercises that are aimed at helping readers identify and work with psychological issues related to parenting.
   
   The core theme of this book is that when parents cultivate a strong, healthy relationship with their children, it promotes development in areas of the brain enabling emotional, cognitive, and interpersonal skills. Experiences and memory shape emerging neural connections; essentially parents sculpt the minds of their children.
   
   Unresolved issues from childhood may reduce the quality of the parent child relationship. Through deepening self-awareness and processing past issues in order to give meaning to them, parents can change ingrained patterns and help their children thrive. Parents can grow together with their children, enjoying them for who they are. Children in turn can become grounded in reality and more self-assured. Specific psychological concepts are introduced and clearly explained.
   
   Siegel's openness in regard to his experience as a parent is courageous and serves to normalize the inevitable fact that parents are imperfect. Parental ambivalence is approached with sensitivity and guidance is provided regarding how to identify and heal negative patterns.
   
   I highly recommend this book for parents who wish to deepen their relationships with their children and enhance the quality of their lives together. This book is also very useful for anyone working with children.



3. This book helped me gain enormous insight into myself and also create a compassionate space in which to parent. It is not an easy read, but it is important and well worth the effort. I've read some beautiful parenting books, but what many of them lack is what this book presents so beautifully. Until you can understand yourself better, all of the good intentions in the world will just crash down, leaving you feeling like a failure. I am so grateful that this book found me.



4. Really good info for parents concerned with giving their kids the best of their parenting abilities. Kind of a technical read in some spots. Very interesting.



5. If you want to avoid making the same mistakes your parents made, if you know there is a better way of parenting than the one you have been exposed to, if you want to be a better parent. or if you want to parent with compassion and understanding.