5 comments about The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby.

1. I happen to love this book although I think it is so sad that it ever had to be written at all. My husband is luckily from another culture and if it had not been for his support I would have probably have listened to my parents, doctors, and the majority of mothers that I have met and done to whole cry it out, making my infant adhere to a strict, un-flexible schedule, and not holding thing. My husband's culture is non-violent compared to our culture. Murders in the his country of origin our seldom heard of and rare. The mothers and fathers in his country value family and children instead of money and material things as in our culture and get this the parents when they are older are taken care of their children. These same children love and respect them for who they are not what they buy them. Here in the US a lot of kids don't respect their parents and only care about getting the latest video game, etc. His culture is warm and nuturing torward children and although the culture as a whole practices "attachment parenting" it is just a normal occurence for them and it isn't in books and labeled there. I have no idea why books like this have to even be written when people should just know to treat infants and children kindly, but unfortunately since most of us in America have been raised in this manner and all the other parenting books I have purchased besides this one all talk about baby training and letting infants self sooth, etc. I guess that is why bad habits continue on with the next generations. Mothers and fathers should love and nurture their children, hold them, and not allow them to self sooth like parents in many other (non-violent) cultures, and William Sears and his wife should not have to put a label on what is basic parenting that should come natural to every single parent in our country. Open your minds and please read this book and take something from it. Please educate yourselves and make our culture non-violent for our children.



2. The Dr. Sears books have been a staple for parents for years.
   I am a new mom and must admit that these books have actually comforted me with such great and basic advice.



3. As a first-time mother, I wanted to do everything in my power to ensure that my (now almost 7-month old) son felt loved, safe and secure. We still co-sleep, I breastfeed on demand, and, at the urging of Dr. Sears and Martha Sears, I initially wore him in a sling as much as possible, which was basically all day. I don't think Dr. Sears realizes how thinly some eager new moms are willing to spread themselves in order to "do what is best for the baby". After about a month of this, I was ready to pass out. I would strongly urge mothers to first evaluate their circumstances, and decide what their personal limit is, because the more you wear the baby, the more abnormal it becomes for him to lie in the bassinet, the bouncy seat, or anywhere else. Babies are smart, and the more you wear them, the more they resist being put down. For me, it had gotten to the point that I couldn't even shower, because they baby would cry the minute I put him down. My husband works long and variable hours, and we have no family in town, so I had no relief. Very gradually, I began putting him down little by little, and eventually he started to enjoy playing independently in his bouncer, and now in his Baby Einstein activity center. Please, don't make my mistake. Wear your baby in moderation. If you don't, you will exhaust yourself, your marriage will suffer, and the baby will be very anxious unless he is held.



4. Only half way through this book and loving it! The title is right in the sense that this is a "commonsense guide" but it is great to have some kind of affirmation that what you are doing is the right thing, especialy being a 1st time parent. I especially appreciate the authors' acknowledgment that all of their ideas will not work for everyone or that not everyone will need to use all of their ideas. A.P. is a very natural, intuitive way of parenting and this book is very helpful in helping you realize these intuitions and to go with them. I personally have a hard time going with my gut instincts - I tend to doubt myself and usually listen to an outside opinion - but this book has made me a little more aware of my instincts, or more the fact that my feelings ARE insticnts, and that makes it quite a bit easier to recognize them and to listen to myself. This is especially important in the area of child rearing because no one at all knows my child or what is best for them better than I do. It's a definite confidence booster! Would recommend to everyone!



5. i work with people who use drug and some times the state may take their children because of this and this book helps me help them to be better parents the state is also doing trainings about attachment parenting in new york so i thank you for this book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 comments about Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide.

1. After starting "what to expect" and being told that it was horrible I was given this book by my midwives. It is THE book every pregnant woman should read. It does cover pregancy but not all the scare tactics that you read in the other books that make you paranoid about breathing. I found it very helpful in creating a birthing plan and knowing all the options I had. I didn't have the pregnancy I thought I would have as my sons were born prematurely and didn't survive, when it happened I knew exactly what was going on. On the other hand in "what to expect" the chart that says abdominal discomfort, you may have gas or you may be going into pre-term labor. Give me a break! So again...pregnant, thinking of being pregnant, know someone who is pregnant, this is the book!



2. ...from the day you get that positive test until the weeks after bringing your perfect little bundle home.
   
   I had the most wonderful opportunity to take my childbirth education classes from Penny Simkin herself. She gave us this book, as well as "The Birth Partner," as reading materials for her class. I don't know where I would be without this. All through my pregnancy, labor, and the weeks following, I had this book by my side. It answered any possible question I could think of, and when it came down to a c-section, I was able to try to calm myself by thinking back to what I read in this book. I can't believe they were able to fit so much into so few of pages!
   
   Great pictures and illustrations, wonderful information, and a must have for any newly pregnant mom. I would have been lost without it!



3. Penny Simkin has the talent to share her passion for supporting mothers with research based information in a very clear language.
   Every pregnant couple needs this book.
   Ana Paula Markel



4. (written by Charles' wife)I just had my 4th baby. Before each birth, I prepared myself by reviewing the birth and post-partum chapters. This is essential reading for those who hope to have a natural birth yet want to be informed about about possible interventions. The book doesn't have much on pregnancy, but that part takes care of itself. Prepare yourself for the challege and reward of a drug-free labor with this book.



5. I read a lot of pregnancy books, and this was the best of the bunch. Penny goes over coping mechanisms for unmedicated labor, medication options, possible complications and interventions, all in incredible detail. Also highly recommended is her companion book aimed at labor partners/coaches, "The Birth Partner".

5 comments about Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors.

1. I loved this book! It really is amazing to bring everything back to Love versus Fear and being present with your child. It sounds so easy, but most people I observe don't do it regularly and well- even "great parents"! It has been huge learning to just be there for my daughter, to listen and really hear what she is saying instead of knee jerk-reacting! It has already affected my life inside and outside of my home and I know it will continue to be life changing if I continue to be aware and grow in these areas!
   
   I heard Dr. Post speak and then I purchased the book. I knew right away that what they were saying made sense and not many others were saying it. I had done a lot of research and had listened to a lot of friends give advice, but parenting my daughter in those ways was not working and was not getting the same results as they were getting or that I even recall having when my mom and dad raised me!
   
   I keep this book available to re-read and re-read. It is amazing how something so simple can get so difficult as we live out day to day life. I need these reminders! Also, Great examples!
   
   Because I so loved this book I did some research and I also just completed a training with one of the authors Heather Forbes (and Eric Guy) of this model -My husband came with me and we both loved it and have been applying it not only to our relationship and interactions with our daughter but with each other.
   
   Some of these principles in the book have given us instant positive results- I have never heard my daughter speak out the things that are overwhelming her so clearly or so soon, especially when the beginning of the sharing was her yelling at me that I was "so mean" for say, making her turn off a TV show. With other parenting styles I would have sent her instantly to her room or time out with a "don't you use that tone with me young lady" Now the TV still stays off, but we end up talking, yelling slows down and instead of tears and more screaming, I actually end up hearing her heart about topics totally unrelated to the anger expressed about turning off the TV. It is amazing! Other things we are still working on, mostly on applying things that are in areas I now see I have my own issues not yet healed.
   
   I highly recommend this book to anyone, and especially to those whose children have been adopted, have been through some sort of trauma, have attachment issue or very low ability to manage stress and who don't respond to more traditional parenting methods like you would have expected. Actually- to those families the book will be life saving- to any families you will love what it brings into your tool-box!
   
   READ IT! And if you are reading this book and would like another tool in your tool-box, sign up on Heather Forbes' website Beyond Consequences website for free Daily Parenting Tips! I signed up for heather's Parenting emails and was amazed how each day they came so right on target and made me look at myself, not just my child's behaviors. It reinforces what the book teaches in a daily, timely way! **Sorry this post is so long- hopefully you skimmed to get out of it what applied to your life or what you are seeking to know about the book. :- )
   
   Press on! as Heather Forbes would say!



2. I have been a therapist for over 20 years. Heather and Bryan's insights and strategies are the most effecitve I've found in helping clients of any age with any diagnosis. I feel very confident when I tell parents that I have solutions that will work for their children.
   
   Ken Thom, MS, LPC



3. This is the only method that has worked for our family. We have already seen a dramatic improvement in our son's behavior. It has also helped me recognize my own fear-related issues and has given me the tools to regulate my emotions to focus on the needs of our son.
   
   Every traditional parenting method (time-outs, reward charts, etc) have only made things worse is the past. Up until now we've felt that "no one understands! Nothing works for our son!" I highly recommend this book.



4. We have three internationally adopted children at home. They are all under 7 yrs now.
   We have tried attachment therapies and all other forms of help we could mannage.
   Nothing seemed to fit exactly. This book, although very difficult for the parents
   really hits the mark!
   Afterall, what is good parenting if it does not allow the parent to heal at the same
   time as the children!
   We give this book and method 2 thumbs up!



5. I've been reading and implementing the contents of this book ( and the second volume recently released, see author's website!!Its ALMOST better than vol.1 -get both!!) for over a year. Its certianly not easy to implement at all times, because it shows us what has not been shown in many other books.. that WE as parents must be in a regulated state, before we can raise children who can heal from their trauma.So it takes time to find that ability, since most of us never recived unconditional love from our own pasts.
   I have attended 2 different events with Heather, and can say she lives what she writes. That is a big deal to a skeptic like me. I see huge differences in my children when I am able to stay in my regulated state, and am able to love my children unconditionally.. which takes on a new meaning after reading this book. ( and Vol. 2) The science is there to back it up too. Buy it! read it!
   As an aside for any Christian's considering reading this, please don't let the idea of no consequences or control scare you off. Look at Jesus' teachings.. He is all about love, we've just been wrapped up in the 'spanking is Biblical' mode for so long we've forgotten what our children need most IS LOVE.. Love never fails.

5 comments about The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work.

1. Lots of wisdon between these pages, and the nice thing is one member of a couple can use it alone if necessary. Includes the best explanation and discussion of "boundaries" I have ever read. Though the information is marriage specific, the skills discussed apply to all relationships, including non-romantic ones. Personally I wish there were no "case histories" included because the reader knows they have to be fabricated to protect privacy anyway, and I think the theories speak for themselves, so I skip over most of them. Otherwise, a highly recommended read.



2. The enduring theme of this work, which promises so much to women, revolves around men being to blame for the failure of modern relationships. It seems that we have neglected to alter ourselves to the necessary extent. If we did then we could better meet the needs of the liberated woman. The new rules are a process and curriculum whereby men and women can save their unions provided that men learn to act more like women.
   
   Male nature is neither an outcome of regimes nor media slant, it is a result of biology. Over the course of the last decade the social constructionist perspective has been rendered obsolete by science. Women and men are known to have disparate biological imperatives and goals in life. Advocating for one sex to obliterate their concerns and proclivities in the hopes of making things easier for the other is both absurd and despicable. More importantly, it cannot work anyway. Societal cheerleading will never succeed in getting men to purge themselves of their essence...which is what makes them men.
   
   Getting men to verbalize their thoughts and emotions is pointless, foolhardy, downright goofy, and a waste of time. After all, talking about emotion is as useful as singing about electrical engineering. Of course, there is much to disdain about The New Rules of Marriage, but what offended me most was its pervasive celebration of inequality amongst the sexes. Women want more out of relationships today so...men must give it to them. Why is that the case? In every equitable transaction, the side who asks for more must offer more in exchange. This leads us to ask, what do modern women offer men that is superior to what their predecessors proffered in the past?
   
   Take your time mulling that one over because the man who enters into a marriage contract in 2008 faces far more risks than he ever did at any other point in history. In all likelihood, his wife will be infinitely more sexualized, far more materialistic, blatantly more narcissistic, and far less motherly than any woman who bonded with his ancestors. Given this eventuality, is it any surprise that modern men are increasingly reluctant to commit?
   
   Twenty-first century women not only fail to render a quid pro quo they also--by demanding that men retain their traditional function as objects of status and wealth while also adding new requirements such as males be Chatty Cathy's and neatly-trimmed launderettes--have inflated their price beyond what the market can possibly pay. Today's woman may describe herself in glowing terms, but a look at the chassis should alert potential customers that what is labeled a Lexus was actually made by Daewoo.
   
   Asking men to alter their consciousness in the hopes of accommodating women is preposterous. Such a wish should reveal to the direct sex that society's advocacy for equality was a ruse all along; nothing but a dense smog concealing a desire for female supremacy. Rather than internalize these New Rules men should memorize a more imperative injunction: Caveat Emptor.



3. Mr. Real's first 2 books are useful in understanding male depression and how that blocks and prevents men from finding intimacy. However as he says himself in this book his message boils down to-be nice to each other. Rather like "Dr. it hurts when I do this." "So stop doing it." Also as other reviewers noted -it really sinks into self-aggrandisement. Beware when anyone seeking to "enlighten" you begins to suggest they have the TRUE knowledge, and only They have it. Save your money.



4. As a therapist and a married person I find Terry Real's work to be extremely helpful. It is practical direct and hopeful. The many case examples and real examples of what "to do" are very useful. This book is easily read by therapists and lay people alike. Its an easy read and I recommend it.



5. I read TR's previous two books while trying to save my 16-yr old marriage. I even went to see him for a full-day (w/ my ex-) and a half-day. Full cost: $11,000. In hindsight, TR punched through the psychobabble of 4 previous therapists and hit home on how both of us were sabotaging the relationship. Our marriage was one of those were the woman was running from self-analysis and I sought the safe-space of a therapists office. Net net, she didn't take his advice and I did (to be more honest and less nice) - which he had predicted; two months later we separated and I am now in a much more intimate, loving relationship with my second wife.

5 comments about The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth (Sears Parenting Library).

1. After reading the other reviews of this book, and another by the same authors (The Pregnancy Book), I purchased both, and am dissatisfied with both. Both books are written at about the 8th grade level, and The Birth Book is definitely written with a solid bias towards one school of birthing techniques.
   
   There's an entire section on "interviewing OBs and deciding which hospital to have your child." For those of us with insurance plans, and a hospital five minutes away, the browbeating about how you're irresponsible and don't care enough if you don't give your OB the fifth degree before allowing him or her to do his or her job, this can be a bit off-putting.
   
   Additionally, the focus on having a "birth plan" and "envisoning your perfect day" comes off sounding a good deal more like planning a wedding than having a baby.
   
   While the book does a good job of presenting a variety of different options that first-time mothers (like myself) might not have considered, I found that talking with my husband's aunt, an OB nurse of 30 years' experience, to be much more calming, simply because the tone of the aunt was one of common sense, while the tone of this book is, well. . . it's hard to characterize without being disparaging, but it's a little flower-power for my tastes.



2. I decided to wait until after I had my baby to review this book so I was speaking from experience as to whether it was helpful or not!
   
   Overall I found this book useful and it has excellent detailed information about the birth process, drugs, interventions & womens choices during labour. I knew exactly what was happening to me & my baby during labour and I understood all of the options available to me and their potential knock on effects.
   
   Like many of the other reviewers I found a strong bias toward a natural birth and had to take the facts at face value and ignore the authors personal preferences.
   
   I also found the countless references to Martha's 'wonderful' birth experiences condescending and they started to annoy me after a while.



3. I was ready to learn about the actual birth process at around my 6th month of pregnancy and picked this book because it looked very complete and informational. Unfortunately I came to find that it was entirely biased on the side of natural birth and that if I chose pain meds it meant I did not "value the birth". Also the information given about pain meds and giving birth in a hospital left me feeling like all my original plans for birth were not good enough. I would not recomend this to anyone looking for the unbiased facts. Read this if you already feel that natural childbirth is the ONLY way to go. This book will be very supportive of you.



4. I read several books throughout my first pregnancy, and found this one to be the most informative. There is a chapter on relaxation during the labor process (how to focus on keeping your muscles relaxed during contractions so your uterus doesn't have to fight against them) that I found to be VERY helpful. A very educational book that I highly recommend.



5. I bought this book 7 months into my pregnancy, looking for advice as to labor and delivery. Not only is the book out of date (1994) but relies heavily on research that has been proven unreliable or false. In addition, the authors write from their own experience, which sounds like a good idea, but learn this: the wife has unbelievably short labors, and bases her entire idea of labor for the rest of society on the fact that she naturally had her children in a few hours or less (actual length of labor: average is 12-26 hours for a first-time birth).
   This book was bought with several others, and I was first struck by how different the opinions expressed herein were. So, I started conducting some PubMed and Elsevier journal searches on the "research" mentioned. In almost every case - from use of Pitocin to home birth to epidural use - I found a striking difference between the current, peer-reviewed recommendations and articles and what the Sears family cited. I was not only disappointed, but rather shocked that such a dated and incorrect book could be sold in popular bookstores as fact.
   Frankly, the Sears are welcome to their opinion on childbirth, and I respect that. However, they cite old papers, statistically insignificant findings, and make assumptions that cannot be backed up. To all those other mothers-to-be: please don't disregard what your OB says because of this book! It is highly out of date, and quite irrelevant. The only plus side: some good anatomical illustrations and pain techniques. Other than that, please don't waste your money on this book!

5 comments about Good Dog. Stay..

1. It's true - I must admit: I just don't like books about animals. Until I read this one! This is a sweet, short honest book about the love of a dog. It's not necessarily about sweet Beau (though really it is), but about how Beau completes a family. And very nice touches about how it completes a woman! A wonderful read that can be read in one sitting - on the sofa with your own Beau sitting beside you. Enjoy.



2. To even call this a book is an unimaginable stretch.
   I love dogs and thoroughly enjoy reading almost any book having to do with them and their exploits.
   This "Book??" is 83 tiny pages composed of 53 pages of photos of various dogs...cute... and 30 miniature pages of Fluff. And all this from a supposed #1 selling New York Times Bestselling Author!!!!!..And all for ONLY $14.95!!!!
   When was the last time you paid $.50 per page for this kind of exploitation?
   Anna Quindlen ought to be ashamed of herself



3. I liked this short book, but felt that more details would have been nice. My favorite dog book is Merle's Door: Lessons from a Freethinking Dog.That book went into such detail and it did not leave you hanging and wanting more.



4. Anna Quindlen is a superb writer and she's done it again with "Good Dog. Stay". Ms. Quindlen is my kind of dog-lover: no gushing, no illusions that this wonderful creature has human feelings, and no compulsion to dress him up in silly clothes. Just respect for what he is: loyal, predictable (usually), goofy, and sweet. I get the title completely - I have an elderly dog (one of several in a long line over my lifetime); I'm crazy about him, and I so want him to "stay", but I recognize that there comes a time where it's about them and not you, and that's when you have to say goodbye. The book is tiny, just like other reviewers have mentioned, (I read the entire thing while eating a sandwich) and I would have preferred it to be longer also, but nevertheless, it's a little gem.



5. I think the author could have done better just making this into a photo book, given that half of the book is photos anyway. Plus the book is tiny. If you're looking for a story you can sink your teeth into, this isn't it. It's mostly gristle, little meat, and if I'd wanted lots of photos of a cute lab, I could have hired a photographer for my own dog.

5 comments about Night Light: A Devotional for Couples.

1. My husband and I buy this for every newly married couple. It is a time that encourages a closer walk with God and has questions that help the husband and wife grow closer to each other. Yet it is only one page of reading and can be done right before bed. We loved it!



2. We're on week three and this devotional is changing our marriage each day. Each evening, the short devotional brings us together to read together, to discuss our marriage in a positive way, and strategize about how we can make our marriage better. It helps open the communication between us that gets lost in the hustle and bustle that we all live in.
   
   I am highly recommending this book to all my friends. Please give it a try, you will not be disappointed.



3. This book gives daily devotionals for married couples and it helps you think about the things you do for your mate and how it makes them feel. It is a good resource to help your marriage if needed or not.



4. My husband and I have only been married for two years and we wanted to start doing a devotional together. Night Light is wonderful! It has brought us closer together and I can already see changes in our relationship. We are beginning to get a better understandig of each other and how we each respond to life's issues. It has made our relationship stronger and, best of all, it has made God the central focus of our lives. I highly recommend this to anyone looking for a great devotional, we love it so much that we have bought some copies for our friends.



5. My wife and I first began reading this on our honeymoon almost 5 years ago. Recently, we were between devotionals and started reading it again. Needless to say, it is not as powerful this time. It might be best suited for newlyweds or "baby Christians" as we used to call them.
   However the story about the pilot is VERY moving. I still also ask my wife if she put the special ingredient into something when she is cooking. You will have to read the book to find out what that means.
   So in general, it is a very good book, and I would suggest it is great reading for younger couples, or newly married.

5 comments about They Cage the Animals at Night (Signet).

1. Since I first read this book over 15 years ago I've read the book over 10 times. I read it three times the first year. I felt it was an amazing story, very touching, and able to tug at me each time I read it. The strength and courage that the author had was amazing.



2. I could not put this book down! It made my cry a couple of times but it does have a happy ending.



3. This book is mind-numbingly captivating. I dont like getting depressed after reading a book, and I was expecting to find myself knee deep in a semi-horror novel. Such as David Pelzer's "A child called It," (good book by the way) but this story is different. Though the events told in this story are horrific, there is an enchanting light of hope that guides you through the chapters. The good expressed in this book is equal to the bad, and it makes for a well balanced read. The innocents and wisdom this child reflects is just heart wrenching. I love it.



4. This is a wonderful book, it will make you feel every emotion you have have.



5. At times it was very difficult to read this true story due to my tears and heart stopping feelings. I think that this book should be required reading for the young people of today to let them know how blessed they are to have what they have. I hope our system has changed enough so that the things this young boy, and the many others in the book faced are not present today. My heart is still hurting from this story but I am glad that I continued with the read and finished Mr. Burch's story. I am going to pass this book on to my grandaughters to read and hope they share it with their friends.

5 comments about 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married.

1. I really hope that if you are getting married, you have discussed most of the topics in this book before. If not, then the book should be helpful...but you might also reconsider getting married if these things haven't been discussed. There are a few topics that aren't obvious to discuss and if the book prompts that discussion, then it has done its job.



2. This book is really great. It asks questions that we wouldn't normally think of and gave us alot of insight to one another and they are serious questions that every couple should ask one another. It has really helped us communicate about some serious subjects. Thanks!



3. This book of 1001 questions steps you through the inquiries all couples should discuss before walking down the aisle. Whether it is asking questions relating to the past, significant others (which many couples do not care to banter about), personal perspectives, or daily routines - author Monica Mendez Leahy understands the foundational essence of talking through these subjects.
   
   You and your spouse-to-be have probably discussed a few of the run-of-the-mill questions contained in this book (e.g., Do you want children?). However, many of the chapters pinpoint pet-peeves, how often you like to dine out, what your stance is on separate vacations, and your reaction to tough times. Many chapters end by offering thoughts on the answers each of you gave and urges reconciliation where differences were unearthed.
   
   This book should not be purchased with dread, but should be viewed as an opportunity to enrich your relationship and learn more about the person you love. It is a must-read for any couple even throwing around the idea of marriage and it also is terrific for pastors and pre-marital counselors who are looking to toss in a few a-typical questions for couples.



4. My fiance and I are going through this book before we get married, and its been alot of help. We're learning a few new things about each other, but mostly it is getting us talking about our views and what we want for the future.



5. I love this book! My fiance and I went through it and it's taken us over a year to complete it, but we're talkers. It gave us a great opportunity to share information about ourselves that we might not have thought of or that we might have been reluctant to bring up on our own. In other words, it's a great vehicle for meaningful conversation and exploration. I'm a psychologist and I recommend this book to couples (married or not) to help with existing issues or to proactively address many questions that come up naturally in relationships. I even bought it for my brother and his girlfriend. It will make you think about what you really want in a relationship.

5 comments about The Secret Language of Relationships (reissue) (Secret Language).

1. The book is very informative. Very detailed and easy to follow. It is well laid out and easy to read.



2. Been eyeing this book for a LONG time and I finally got it. No regrets. Brilliant info and creepy that it's sooo right on.



3. I had read The Secret Language of Birthdays by this author and loved how dead on it was. I was so excited to get this book, but skeptical once I read the reviews. It's fun to pick out some qualities and try to fit them into your life and relationships, but the book gives alot of the same information as the other titles in the series. Whatever you do, take it lightheartedly, don't base your life decisions on what's written on the pages. It's fun to look over with friends at a party.



4. This book is about all kinds of relationships. It's a good conversation starter, as well as interesting to read on your own.



5. Item was delivered timely and in excellent condition as advertised! A pleasure to do business with!