5 comments about Bringing Nature Home: How Native Plants Sustain Wildlife in Our Gardens.

1. We've been avid gardeners for decades and have done many things to attract wildlife to our 10 acre woodlot where we reside. This book is a real eye-opener. It's scientific but easy on the mind. It's thorough and informative, yet casual in its prose. Dr. Tallamy has made a terrific contribution to anyone who values their property, enjoys healthy diversity in their landscape, and wants to do right by the planet. Don't go to your local nursery before reading this book. Mention this to all your friends who share your outdoor interests and talk to your local librarian to be certain he/she obtains a copy for your community.



2. 
   I thought this book was great, and now I'm "sold" on only using native plants in my garden. And for those who say that not all alien plants are bad, and that this book doesn't tell the whole story or whatever, I would retort "well why NOT use native plants only?" To me there's something more "right" about using plants that are native to the very land you are on.
   
   The back of the book contains a terrific appendix that lists good native plants to grow by U.S. region. I was very disappointed however that there was no index for the Northeast region(which is where I live)...



3. This book is a must read for all. It highlights and informs about the small steps we can each take to create a better world in our own back yards.



4. This is a very important book. I reluctantly purchased it after hearing several people that I admire recommend it very highly. I am not much into gardening but am interested in birds, biodiversity and restoring natural habitats. I have read hundreds of books on biology and the environment over the years and have been to hundreds of meetings and conferences regarding solutions to the many problems that beset our natural environment. It is not often that I hear of a very simple solution to a ubiquitous problem, that of a decline in the overall population of birds and mammals and the increase in the ravages of diseases affecting our forests, grasslands and deserts.
   
   In addition to offering a novel solution to major problems the outlook of the book is optimistic and the reading is interesting and pleasurable. Dr. Tallamy is a fine writer and also furnishes fascinating descriptions of the plants, insects, mammals and birds that he has studied. One that I remember from the chapter on insects was the defensive strategy of some insects called leafhoppers that are preyed upon by wasps. The mother protects her offspring that are feeding on the stem above by intercepting attackers from below. If a wasp starts an attack from above her young drum out a distress message that vibrates through the stem to her so she can rush up and try to kick the wasp away. Another insect, a tree-boring beetle, flies to the top of mountain ridges to scan for forest fires with infrared vision to locate trees weakened by fire that are prime targets for feeding and breeding locations.
   
   In addition to these insights into the world of insects and plants the book gives you an understanding of the significant danger from the spread of alien plant species. I agree with all the high recommendations for this book. Everyone that reads this will have a new outlook on nature and even the gardeners will enjoy it.



5. Bugs are good! That's the takeaway message of this book. Tallamy is an entomologist so his affection for insects is not surprising, and he clearly admires them for their aesthetic beauty and clever evolutionary adaptations. But he also argues, persuasively and passionately, that there are sound ecological reasons for welcoming insects into our landscapes with open arms--and a smorgasbord of native plants.
   Healthy insect populations are essential to sustainable ecosystems that support the birds, butterflies, mammals, reptiles and other "charismatic megafauna" we cherish. Birds, especially, rely on insects and their larvae to feed their young. In the areas we humans have disturbed with our roadways and infrastructure, commercial buildings, residential developments, and agricultural plantations, we have wiped out the native plant diversity that supports wildlife. Tallamy estimates that perhaps only 3% to 5% of the United States remains as undisturbed, natural land, and much of that is composed of "ecological islands" that preclude immigration, making both plant and animal species vulnerable to local extinctions. So unless all of us actively work to convert human-disturbed lands--including our suburban gardens--for the preservation of wild creatures, we will no longer have the opportunity to observe nature on a daily basis. We will have to travel to outlying preserves to visit the few remaining species that survive.
   So, what's the connection to native plants? All plants convert the sun's energy into organic matter usable by life. They are the first "trophic level." Insect herbivores eat plants and, in turn, provide food for all the other animals in higher trophic levels: insect carnivores, birds, mammals, reptiles, etc. But insects are often specialists, able only to eat those plants they have evolved with. And in our residential landscapes and agricultural plantings, we have systematically chosen exotic plants or created plant cultivars that are distasteful to our native insects. We have done this to protect our valuable food crops and because we
   view our landscapes as mere decoration, wanting them to be aesthetically perfect and unmarred by chewed leaves. But deliberately excluding insect herbivores in this way deprives our ecosystems of a vital link in the food web. And introduced exotics are doubly problematic because these "pest-free" species escape our grasp and themselves become pests, precisely because they are distasteful to the insect herbivores that keep native plants in check. Our native plants, by contrast, are tasty insect food, and insects provide the basis for all the other animals.
   To help us choose plants that are insect-friendly, the chapter "What Should I Plant?" identifies and describes those plant genera that have demonstrated the greatest ability to support butterfly and moth larvae. This criterion was chosen because Lepidoptera comprise over 50% of all insect herbivores in the US, because caterpillars are important components of many vertebrate diets, and because there is more published data about host plant
   use by butterflies and moths than there is for other insects. Tallamy's plant descriptions are interesting both for his suggestions for landscape applications and his knowledge about which caterpillars make use of each plant group.
   The cleverly-titled chapter "What Does Bird Food Look Like?" describes various insect families, including but not limited to Lepidoptera. Tallamy tells us what plants these insects eat, what eats them, and describes interesting or curious facets of their life histories. (Initially I was tempted to skip this chapter but was glad I didn't because I found it fascinating.)
   The book is illustrated throughout with wonderful color photographs of plants and insects, and has useful appendices: a list of native plant species that have both wildlife value and desirable landscaping attributes (sorted by region and plant type), a checklist of host plants of butterflies and showy moths, and a summary of Tallamy's survey data that demonstrates his thesis. I enjoyed this book immensely and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to make landscape choices that are more likely to attract birds, butterflies and other creatures. Whether you read the book or not, when you see insects dining on your
   landscape, rejoice!

2 comments about Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men: Seven Questions to Ask Beforeand AfterYou Marry.

1. You will definitely need the actual book to use the workbooks. My fiance and I have been working through the lessons and are about halfway through the workbooks. The best thing about the exercises is that there are so many things about my future wife that I didn't know, especially in regards to how she thinks and feels about certain aspects of life. We are becoming closer as we're beginning to understand each other at a deeper level. I'm learning more about how women communicate and how they really aren't able to come to grips with exactly how we operate either. The exercises vary from childhood influences to budgeting to love languages. We look forward to each time we work through the lessons. I highly recommend them for any couple preparing for marriage.



2. I would highly recommend this book to any couple who is considering marriage, engaged, or recently married--or even couples who have been married for years. The practical advice is effective and Drs.Parrot illuminate issues that are vitally important to consider when building or fortifying a marriage yet that are often overlooked in favor of wedding preparation. Very helpful, honest and eye-opening.

5 comments about Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No.

1. The author clarifies the teenager experience in a way that removes a lot of the stress and worry from our perceptions of it. Teenagers do make sense and there is a clear and reasonable way to help them navigate their way through the culture and their emotions.
   
   The book first underlines the importance of boundaries. It then goes on to explain that parents need to have healthy boundaries in order to pass on boundaries to their teens. It ends with specific ways of enforcing boundaries with your teens. The emphasis of the book is to use love and limits to create an internally-integrated adult out of a teen; in other words, the teens internally adopt the boundaries you show them so they have their own independent structure.
   
   I am currently going back through the book to take notes. The book has a lot of information to digest and since the information is so practical I want to make sure I won't forget it when I have the opportunity to apply it. I think it is an excellent book and I highly recommend it. If/when the author writes a workbook for this book, I will definitely buy it.



2. Boundaries with Teens has been very helpful for us. We were given the book but since we both have so little time to read, we purchased the book on CD and listen to it in the car. The advice is solid and from a man who actually raised teens. Save me from the eggheads who think they can tell you how to raise kids when they have never had any themselves!



3. I originally did a search for a book on teen behavior. I didn't realized that this book was in the religous section, otherwise I would not have purchased it, as I am not religous. The author uses a lot of quotes from the Bible and overuses the word "God". I got 3/4 of the way through the book and decided I had had enough of the religous references.
   Overall, the author did a good job using examples of poor behavior, good behavior, and how to deal with the poor behavior.
   I would recommend the book for religous people but not to those who prefer non-religous based books.



4. When I read this book, it was like someone peeking into our lives. We are Grandparents raising a teen-ager for the past 4 years who has turned 16, is over 6 ft tall,wears size 13 shoes, and sees himself as an adult who should be in charge of his own life as well as ours. Having raised 7 children 2 generations ago we thought we could handle this assignment. Today's children are another issue.In reading Dr Townsend's book we found grandpa, grandma, and the teen described exactly in the book. Unfortunately under the title "This is what not to do". A wonderful book from front to back with a goldmine of useful suggestions and ideas.A must read for those blessed by a teen.



5. This is a very good resource for parenting and any relationship. Very good & worthwhile, easy to impliment, gives you hope & change!

3 comments about Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Women: Seven Questions to Ask Beforeand AfterYou Marry.

1. I was a little on the fence about this book because I really didnt think it would help. We are not married yet, but this book has helped a lot to see each other out in the open. It has also showed us what the other thinks about us and what we can work on as a couple.



2. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is the pre-marital book and companion workbooks our church uses with all our couples who plan to be married. A "season" couple goes through the book with the engaged couple, meeting many times the 6 months prior to their wedding. This mentoring process has proved to be a wonderful experience for both couples, and times together carry on well past the wedding day. The newlyweds now have a couple that have invested time with them, other than their parents, which has been a blessing to them.



3. This book is trite, poorly-written, and is premised on harmful misconceptions about the role of so called "gender differences" in a healthy marriage. It was required reading for our premarital counseling sessions and, although we went into it with open minds, we actually thought relying on the advice in this book would be harmful to marriage! Finally, it seems clear that the male author doesn't respect his wife, from the dismissive way he discusses her. Worst of all, the notes page of the book reflects studies that refer not to actual studies but to unsubstantiated claims made by other self-help authors or in other self help books. Skip this one, and if your church requires it, speak up. It's garbage.

5 comments about Her Last Death: A Memoir.

1. I love memoirs and I found Her last Death to be hard to leave when I had to go to work, but I have a few quibbles.
   
   The book started off wrongly in the preface where the author, Susannah Sonnenberg, warns us that the only "real" character in the book is her; everyone else has a pseudonym and people and events may be composites of characters and situations. That is not the definition of a memoir, in my opinion. Rather, I felt I was reading fiction into which the author had inserted herself. Therefore, I have no idea if what she wrote actually happened as described or if the people she wrote about, including most of all, her mother and sister and her wealthy grandparents, really existed. A memoir, at least since James Frey got reamed out by Oprah, is about real people and real occurrences.
   
   I also must admit I didn't like almost all of the people described in the book, including the author most of the time. Her husband remains a complete enigma (leading me to believe he's boringly normal) but that he doesn't seem to buy into her dramas says a lot about him. Her father has some interesting qualities and more so as his neurological disease has progressed. The mother, of course, is singularly distasteful in almost every aspect and it seems she has similarly doomed the younger sister. Her story is one of rampant, unrepentant child sexual abuse, passive aggressiveness, and deceit intended for no other purpose than to hurt her children in ways I haven't seen anywhere before. Everything she did was so inappropriately perfused with sexuality in dangerous and unspeakable ways. Should the author rear her two sons to be honest, decent, responsible, and loving adults, that will be a monumental credit to her ability to overcome her dreadful family.
   
   If readers discount the story and the people populating it as mostly fictionalized, then they will experience a well-written, fast-moving "novel" about a quite unsettling family they should never hope to meet.



2. I don't think I've ever read a book where the reviews were so extreme - from those who loved it to those who were quite disappointed. Yes, this is a sexually graphic book. Yes, this seems to be a very honest book. Yes, there are some inconsistencies in the story. However, I was very impressed with the personal writing style. Susanna's acting out as a teen and young adult clearly seemed understandable. How many people who knew her had any idea of what she went though at home? I am glad that she told this story, even though it was quite disturbing at times.



3. I was very disapointed with this book halfway through. You can't help but dislike the author who seems to have no redeeming qualities. Predictable and self-serving, she seems to think she suffered more than her younger sister whom she abandons in a time of need. Lets hope "Her Last Death" is her last book!



4. In HER LAST DEATH, Susanna Sonnenberg achieves what I believe the very best memoirs can accomplish. She paints a vivid, living picture, not just of a life but of her relationship with her manic but unbalanced mother, and she does so with prejudice and personal perspective. Memoir is not autobiography; at its very best, the genre tells us not the facts and objective observation of the events. Memoir takes us into the heart of the author's experience, and it is its very subjectivity that gives it power. HER LAST DEATH brings the reader into Sonnenberg's internal world, a tumultuous place where both a mother's love and her sanity are always in question.
   
   Sonnenberg doesn't flinch from the light when it comes to examining her own stumbles and weaknesses, and when an understanding of her troubled mother's psyche eludes her, as it often does, the author doesn't engage in conjecture or armchair psychoanalysis. Instead, she allows us to experience this inexplicable world with her, and in the end, we are left not so much with a sense of who her mysterious mother might have been, but rather whom the author has ultimately become.
   
   In the course of facing a difficult past and its ramifications for her future, Susanna Sonnenberg has shown herself to be an extremely talented writer, and I eagerly await more from her.



5. This was a difficult book to read. I am not saying its was a bad book it kept interest pretty much throughout. I am not saying this woman was not abused, in some ways yes, but I do not think it warrented a book about it.
   
   the majority of the time the author basked in money, expensive clothes, vactions abroad, and money at her disposal. I am not saying money made it alright, it did not but it takes the sting out of it and there were times when her Mother was kind and decent and cared, she had emotional problems but throughout I never doubted she loved her children very much and gave them pretty much the best money could buy, and yes money does help.
   
   My good friend was a abused beaten child and it was much much more horrific than this sugar-coated book. Her father beat her black and blue with the belt and her three younger siblings, he did NOT drink it was his real true personna he did this cold sober. He locked the kids in closests for hours, even one time in the trunk of a car, he would take them to a dark deserted field and tell them to "get out" because they had done something bad that day {normal kids antic's nothing terrible} he would call them horrible names, chase them around hitting them swearing and worst of all he would, and I will descibe this slowly, make the four kids kneel on their knees on hardwood floor with their arms extended out for an hour, if they lowered there arms they would get backhanded in the face! Back in the 1970's noone cared, it was like "disipline your children as you see fit" neighbors would see the children getting chased around the front yard and never called the police, they were on their own. The mother tried to protect, he never hit her, but failed he was so mean nasty rotten evil noone could stop him, he never sexually abused them, thank God, thats one good thing, but the emotional physical and mental abuse have hurt these kids throughout life, damaged jobs and relationships and has brought on panic attacks, depression and anxiety, this man was truly evil, he is still alive, the mother died young, and is STILL at it, never missing the opportunity to verbally abuse and yell, they avoid him all they can and hate him to this day.
   
   They did NOT have money growing up, lower middle-class, no nice clothes, no expensive vacations, no wonderful caring grandparents who intervened and helped, etc.... they were abused poor and it was terrible, hellish.
   
   My point is other people have had it way harder than this author, she had money and lots of it and yes it takes away the sting, not all together I agree, but it made it easier, just to "fly away to france" or the bahamas when things got bad with the mother and I felt she never actually beat the kids bloody, they survived and they did it rich and had other options. The family I described had no other options, poor and beatup is a horrible childhood, and the fact the father did this cold-sober and did not take drugs makes it worse, it was real, not alcholism related and there were not "presents and disney world vactions" to take away the sting, just more abuse and hatred and to this day it continues, through they are adult and can stay away, I pray one day these children can heal and recover, but his hatred lives on as he lives on at age 70.
   
   NO abuse is good and I am not saying this author had it great because she was so rich, I am saying it took away some of the sting and allowed them more options to leave. No matter how you look at it, money DOES help in everyway, its alot better to have money than not and in this case it helped. I am sorry the author suffered through I don't feel she suffered that badly, and as you read above others suffer SO much more. It turned out good for her good husband, beautiful baby, trust fund, money etc.. she will survive. Perhaps my friend should write a book about her hellish childhood and make lots of money like the author, at least her cries would be serious. The book is good, a good read, but life was not as awful as it seemed for her. Perhaps abused poor children should NOT read it, it makes their situations so much worse being poor.

5 comments about Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.

1. Its too bad that so late in life (mid 50's) i read this book. I recommend it to anyone 16 and older. After the bible, if there is only one book you read, this is the one. at last we can learn why our sex and the opposite tend to act as they do. A friend gave me a cd of the book which i loved, then i bought a copy for my son. before being given the book on cd, i would have thought it a stupid sounding book and never bought it. We can all get along. Don't miss this opportunity to bring peace and understanding to the ones you love most.
   jeff turner



2. This is the most excellent book. I read it and it changed my life. I did what the author recommends and feel great now. Get off the anti-depressants they are whats making you fat and sluggish. Take the vitamins and eat the way he suggests and your life will change for the better within a matter of days.



3. John Gray really knows his 'decoding' methods of men and women. Yet, he teaches us how to use them in every day life, while having fun. Our lives really have changed in the 21st century and this was a much needed update while still applying his Martian and Venusian relationship skills.
   
   Any man or woman will definitely benefit from reading this book in their personal relationship with their partner in life. Relationships do take work, but it can be fun at the same time when we add understanding the opposite sex.
   
   Highly recommended to everyone!
   
   Merna Throne
   
   Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!



4. EXCELLENT CD'S, WE JUST STARTED THEM AFTER HEARING JOHN GRAY ON TALK RADIO. FOR ANYONE WORKING ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP THAT WANTS TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BETTER THIS IS A GREAT HELP.



5. I have taken so many helpful hints from this book and applied to my new dating relationship. The knowledge about how men handle tasks and how their brain works, helps me to react better...causing less fights! It really works. My boyfriend reaffirms me by saying "I can't believe how smoothly our relationship is going and how sweet and understanding you are." I will keep the book my secret for now :)

5 comments about The Culture Clash: A Revolutionary New Way to Understanding the Relationship Between Humans and Domestic Dogs.

1. I have to begin by saying that when I first started reading the book I was very put off by a writing style that initially came across as a bit choppy, curt, rude and precociously academic... then suddenly, light began to shine and Jean Donaldson began tossing one brilliant idea, suggestion/method after another. - - My guess is that the book probably came about as a result of cutting and pasting previous writings of hers together... writings geared towards various audiences and appropriate to various situations... however, after this was done, the writings were simply never edited so they'd represent a cohesive whole... As a result, I have to agree with other critics that the book really needs to be edited and organized... still, I give it a 5 star rating... Why? Because as I said, it challenges you to think differently... and many of the pages are gushing with ideas and suggestions for problems facing all dogs... Whether or not you agree with everything, the book gets you thinking - - its not just a rehash of old dog training cliches (as many books are.)
   
   As for Jean Donaldson's basic approach- - basically its text book behaviorism, but with a compassionate twist. The central premise is that people expect their dogs to think and behave in the Walt Disney mold... and fail to take into account that dog's brains are the size of lemons... and further, wired different than people... in particular, dogs are masters at reading their environment... but don't have the abstract and logical thinking abilities of humans. In failing to recognize this, we often expect unreasonable things of dogs... and even worse, punish - - even summarily execute them for this. (Jean Donaldson specifically uses the word "execute" as opposed to euthanize in the case of many dogs who are put to sleep for aggressive behavior, when they were simply being dogs and their humans simply failed to socialize them.) -- - She uses this argument to poignantly argue the importance of socialization and repeatedly says, "Dogs are animals and animals bite..." Dogs who are not properly socialized bite not because they're abnormal... but simply because they were never trained to adapt to a human environment where biting, no matter how tempered can be considered a capital offense..... hence the dog remained dogs... ergo biting when seeing strange humans engage in behavior that any canine would have seen threatening. (Donaldson points out that in the wildnerness "fear of the novel" would have been understanding, as no adult dog would be able to live long enough to pass on its genes if it was programmed to simply walk up to explore anything new and novel. Dogs survive by running away from things that spook them... or making the thing that's spooking them run away... either/or...)
   
   The book covers a wide variety of behaviors which most humans find extremely annoying (barking, chewing and urinating) but Donaldson assures us are NORMAL, however, can be dealt with through proper socialization (and if the window is missed) conditioning. - - Methods typically involve exposure to situations, and reward for desired behavior... no alpha rolls, no choke collars, and no alpha wolf lead or be eaten/hang 'em by the choke collar babble... just time and patience... and a clicker and some treats.
   
   All in all, like some other reviewers, I think it needs rewriting... but that said, there's so much in it, I'd say its worth every buck and then some whether or not you agree with each and every one of her theories or suggestions. To sum it up: this book definitely belongs in your library if you're serious about dog training or behavior...



2. When I read this book the first time, I really enjoyed it and felt that it had changed most of my ideas about dog training. Everything Donaldson says is correct and works for most behaviors, because she uses basic principles that can be applied to any animal. Basically, if you understand positive and negative reinforcement/punishment, there is no need to read this book. Her main point is that you can get dogs to do whatever you wish using positive reinforcement alone, and the use of aversives is unnecessary and a result of expecting our dogs to be smarter than they really are.
   
   She also gives some good insight into the behavior of dogs, such as bite thresholds, and it's very useful for people to know that just because a dog bites doesn't mean it is evil and should be put down - it's NORMAL dog behavior.
   
   Unfortunately, I could only give it one star because her theory is very limited and basic. It is helpful for someone with no knowledge of canine behavior, thought process, or pack mentality, and for the many people who misuse aversives and think it is normal for you to be able to punch a dog in the face and not have him bite you. It is a good starting place, and nothing more.
   
   But for the rest of us who wish to understand the true behavior and potential of dogs, her book is of little value. Clicker training and an endless supply of treats works great for training specific behaviors, but not for achieving harmony and balance in the bigger picture. Not to mention the many breeds who are not food or play motivated, which she never addresses. Also, for those true problem dogs who are aggressive or have other serious behavior issues, she never says how to address these problems, and instead recommends other books!
   
   There are countless better books out there that are much more in depth and educational. This book only detracted from my knowledge of dog behavior and training.



3. 
   
   Ms. Donaldson takes a judgemental moralistic view of owners (like me)who like that their dogs do not bolt through doors before them, or like to eat before their dogs, and like to be their dog's leader. She even goes as far as to call us *stupid*. Okay, I draw the line when I spend $15.00 to buy a book then the author calls me stupid in the first chapter.
   
   I train in AKC competition obedience so I am all for reward based training. Dogs do learn faster when rewarded for doing the right behavior as opposed to being corrected for the wrong behavior. However, it is incomplete advice when Ms. Donaldson tells people that dogs should never receive any corrections. Maybe those highly skilled behaviorists and professional dog trainers have the talent, time, experience to only train with rewards but the average pet owner will never be able to accomplish this without years of trial and error. I am sorry, but I do not want to spend 5 years just to train my dog to not bolt out the door or decide to chase a squirrel and possibly get hit by a car.
   
   She is far to extreme in one direction. Like everythig in life, there needs to be a balance. And by the way, I am not in Cesar's camp either with his flooding methods and overly simplistic dominance fix-all solution either. Like I said, you've got to have balance and adjust with each dog.
   
   If you interested in dog training and learning theory I liked Don't Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor much better. The author uses easy to understand human analagies to illustrate learning theory. I am a very literal and visual person so if I could understand it, anyone can.



4. This is the most significant dog book ever written -- yes, it's that good. Everyone who owns a dog should read it. I'll let you read the other reviews to hear why. But you should know that there is a revised edition (with 11,000 more words) available, though for some reason Amazon isn't selling it.



5. My dog-eared, worn-cover, beaten up copy of The Culture Clash, signed by Jean Donaldson Oct. 5, 1997, is one of my most prized books in my dog training library. I've had the great opportunity to attend her seminars and listen to her speak on a few occasions. It's a book that is required reading for any serious student of dog behavior. It's also great for anyone just interested in learning more about dog behavior and training. Let me explain why:
   
   1. The book opens with "Getting The Dog's Perspective - Walt Disney vs. B.F. Skinner" and goes on to explain that dogs are amoral animals, that they have no understanding of right and wrong. She adds that dogs don't spite us, get back at us or feel guilty for doing "bad behavior." When we believe that our dogs are getting back at us, or trying to spite us, they end up getting a lot of punishment.
   
   Think about it, you come home after a long day at work only to find your favorite $200 pair of shoes chewed to bits. If you think your dog did that to "get back at you" you would dole out a nice big dose of punishment. In reality, your dog was stressed at being left alone and chewed to relieve the stress. The next day you leave for work and your dog feeling stressed again, chews your kitchen chairs. You walk in the house and think, "He did it again to ME!" Severe punishment follows.
   
   If this happens again and again the behavior is likely to get worse. In reality, your dog is not associating the chewing with his behavior. The chewing is a direct result of your behavior. Your dog associates the punishment with your homecoming. You walk in the door and pound him - this sets up a behavioral history. When you walk out the door there is a good chance that when you come back in a beating will follow.
   
   Everyday you leave and your dog learns that when you come home he is going to be punished. It's all very stressful. How does the dog relieve stress - CHEWING!
   
   Jean Donaldson explains this process so well and really gives you insights into why your dog is behaving a certain way.
   
   2. Chapter 2 continues with the fact that dogs are predatory animals, that they are hard wired to search, stalk, rush, chase, bite/hold/shake/kill, and to dissect and eat(prey). This chapter is particularly important because of the writing on tug-o-war, the most misunderstood game in "dogdom".
   
   In addition to tug-o-war, she discusses alone training, chew training and a lot more.
   
   3. Chapter 3 on Socialization, Conflict Resolution, Fear and Aggression goes on to give some of the best advice for new puppy owners. The sections on bite inhibition, timid puppies, dog-dog socialization, food bowl exercises, object exchanges, and the bite threshold model is a must read for any new puppy owner.
   
   4. Chapter 4 - Its All Chew Toys To Them, starts off with the story of The Gorns. The Gorns is an excellent story of putting us in the position of dogs. Humans are kept as companion animals to a more intellectually sophisticated species.
   
   Imagine living on a planet with a Gorn and this Gorn punishes you for doing normal human behavior like: Shaking hands, sitting on couches, eating anything but "Human Chow," etc.
   
   Think about dogs, they get punished for sniffing each others butts (human equilevlent to shaking hands), sitting on the couch, trying to eat anything other than the food from a bag that we feed them. This is a very eye-opening chapter.
   
   5. Chapter 5 is the one chapter that I think makes a lot of people upset - "Lemon Brains But We Still Love Them." The first paragraph of this chapter she states:
   
   "The enmeshment between dog owners and Walt Disney has been too tight to allow behaviorism in. We've been clinging to the wish that dogs might just have big, convoluted, melon brains like humans and have a natural desire to please. The fact of the matter is dogs have little, smoothish lemon brains and are looking out for number one. I personally still like them."
   
   It's an excellent chapter that goes on to explain how behaviors are taught. Much of what has been taught on dog training is false. For years dog owners have been told that when a dog does NOT do the command the dog is being dominant. The dog owner is then instructed to be "The Alpha" and apply appropriate force, setting up a negative situation between dog and owner. If we truly believe that the dog has a natural desire to please, then the dog should want to do it for us.
   
   On the other hand, if we take a realistic view and understand that as Jean states, `They are looking out for number one," we figure out what the proper motivation is to teach the dog to do the command.
   
   6. The final chapter finishes up with instructions on how to teach your dog obedience commands starting with kindergarten levels and working up to PhD levels.
   
   The relationship between dogs and humans is a long one. It's time that we stop expecting our dogs to think like us and learn to think like our dogs.
   
   Is it any reason that we have 56 million dog bites every year in the United States? The only way were going to make that number go down is to read books like Jean Donaldson's book, The Culture Clash.

5 comments about The Myth of Multitasking: How "Doing It All" Gets Nothing Done.

1. I think that the basic premise of this book is a good one. The presentation is childish...probably an effort to fill out the pages of an already very short book. Maybe more scientific background, statistics etc would have helped. This could have been offered in a short report and therefore used up less of my (valuable) time and I would have appreciated the message even more.



2. This is an amazing guide to time and productivity management. It is in story format and a quick read. The book proves how many people today are so caught up in doing everything at the same time that they really are not effective at doing much at all.
   
   As Dave guides us through a real life example of how multitasking has caused stress and low productivity, the reader can easily relate to his/her own life. It provides insight and solutions that can only be found in this one of a kind book. It literally has changed my life.
   [...]



3. The book is a small page size and only 125 pages. Perhaps he is trying to cater to those people who don't have enough time.
   
   The writer's style is storybook format which some people prefer (but I am not one of them).
   
   The title says it all -- multitasking is a myth and I am a big believer in this. We don't actually multitask; we switch quickly from one task to another and often when we multitask we don't get the higher priority things done.
   
   The book tells a story of an office worker as she works through his challenges with trying to get everything done and points out how multitasking has been alienating others in the office.
   
   The story is told of Helen who is a chronic multitasker whose multitasking is causing stress for her as well as her co-workers. The story tells of her being mentored by Phil who explains all of the costs of multitasking and the ways of reducing multitasking.
   
   Although the title says it all, it is never bad to have a good refresher.
   
   Quotes on multitasking:
   
   "Eleven, the average number of minutes an employee can devote to a project before it being interrupted."
   
   A study conducted by Irvine, Department of Information of Computer Science, University of California, Irvine.
   
   "Multitasking? I can't even do two things at once. I can't even do one things at once."
   
   by Helena Bonham Carter.
   
   "Multitasking is worse than a lie"
   Another Book Title by David Crenshaw
   
   I wrote an article 6 times multitasking works well that ties to the content of the book. Title sounds in conflict with the thesis but in reality it is not. After all, I read this book while I was on a flight - mutitasking - flying and reading.



4. As a busy mother of three and manager of a family business, I've spent years feeling like there is not enough time in the day, and no possible way to do everything that needs to get done. I believed that if I wanted to get anywhere in life I had to be a master "multitasker," but I was stressed-out, spun-out, and I saw no end in sight.
   
   Today, I have to say that The Myth of Multitasking has totally changed my life.
   
   Reading this book was a complete eye opener for me. I've learned how to examine my day, and see just where I'm losing precious time. I have to say that I was initially shocked at how ineffective I was. I was not only spinning my wheels at work, I was doing my family a huge disservice by not giving them the complete attention they deserve. Admittedly, a lifetime's worth of bad habits are hard to break, but this short fable literally gave me more time for my family, my work, and my life.
   
   Highly recommended for anyone, but especially moms who work.



5. What a phenomenal book! I was having flashbacks to my first time with the certified time coach. If everyone can't have Dave in person, this is the next best thing. It's also a great refresher course for those of us who have employed his services. Five "thumbs up" and a must read for any business executive!

5 comments about Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.

1. This book cange my life in a lot of fields. I have read of self help books, but this book really helped me to understand so much i my life, and why other behave the way the do. I give this bokk five stars, read and bekome a new person :-)



2. Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child
   
   I cannot think of another published work that deals effectively with healing the wounded inner child, like this book. Methodical and delibrate, Bradshaw explores territory unknown to our present conscious, but quite familiar to our subconscious. The earliest of memories, whether peripheral, non-descript "gut" feelings or vivid, clear, sensory-engaged recollections, can be stirred up with the meditations and mental exercises outlined by Bradshaw.
   
   Those that are considering purchasing this book, and are reading the reviews to help your decision process, probably already discussed this with a trained spiritual counselor to truly do the work necessary, to undo years of damage in early childhood that somehow manifested itself into inappropriate social behaviors (misplaced anger or rage, attention-seeking, sexualized friendships, marital infidelity, covert sex, pornography), defense mechanisms (disassociation, projection, passing blame or guilt) and addictions (chemical, sexual dependencies). Emotional wounds sustained at such an innocent age really cannot be healed properly until an emotionally healthy parent, particularly a fully-functioning, fit mother, can teach proper coping skills that later fully develop and become integrated into adulthood. Some of us have not been as fortunate to have a parent, much less two, that offered appropriate emotional guidance. Those that need innerchild work done, are those that were raised by damaged parents and damage is passed onto their children as abuse, whether sexual, emotional, physical, and/or spiritual. Proper intervention is required to recalibrate the wiring in emotionally unstable adults and get them up to their appropriate EQ.
   
   In doing the innerchild work, I caution those that try to accomplish this in solitude. The person in meditation may not know how to cope with the unearthed emotions (typically strong feelings of shame, guilt, and fear of unknown origin) unless a properly trained spiritual counselor provides enough guidance and tools to cope with the unpleasant, repressed feelings. It is also important to conduct the tasks in the order Bradshaw has outlined - Start at the infancy stage, do the meditation, and work on the emotions that surface, if at all. The best indication of how much damage was done to an individual is if the first task meditating at the infancy stage evokes a surge of unknown feelings. Then the work needed to get healthy requires the entire process suggested by Bradshaw. Skipping a chapter/exercise is not an option if the goal is to get emotionally fully integrated and healthy.
   
   In closing, this book is really a new beginning to properly train and socialize a wounded adult back into society, the workplace, family life. Essentially, the process is likened to that of an infant learning to crawl, stand, walk, and explore the world around them, with the loving and caring guidance that lacked in childhood. Bradshaw also includes a section on forgiving and releasing resentment and bitterness of the perpetrator(s) of the emotional damage. I've witnessed miracles of healing because of the innerchild methodology, in lock-step with spiritual rebirth. Many times, the latter is overlooked when in fact the two complement each other in the healing and deliverance of an addicted, depressed adult. The spiritual aspect is alluded to, but not expounded upon, by Bradshaw. However, this omission does not affect the overall success of the process. I still give the book Five Stars and would recommend this to anyone in need of deep healing.



3. This isn't a bad book - not at all! It's very helpful at helping one realize how events in childhood affect, no - form the person we are today. It has some very good exercises for getting in touch with one's inner child . .. I liked it, and found it useful. Worth the money and the time reading it -



4. Recommended by a trusted friend, the book has some valuable content; however, the author quoted a prayer he learned as a Catholic priest, only to follow it with his opinion that Mary was not a virgin. At that point, I closed the book and returned it to the library. To think I actually considered purchasing copies for my adult children...



5. Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth
   
   My Spirit and soul awakened to Bradshaw's "Creating Love". How could I escape the truth when it was staring me in the face. He tells us how to demystify love and begin a new life in all of our relationships. He writes with such great respect, dignity and loving kindness.
   
   I will gratefully bless him for the next 40 years!!! Thank you, John Bradshaw; for the FREEDOM to find me, awaken me, take care of me, love me and show me how to create love with other's.

5 comments about The Art of Loving.

1. Fromm makes it clear that love is not some cheap sentiment that we receive or that we become "loveable" to earn love. He makes it clear that no easy cliches will teach us the art of loving. In other words, this is no self-help book packaging easy-to-swallow bromides about love. Rather, Fromm argues we must first eradicate our illogical and inaccurate notions of love in modern society and see that love is not an "object" but a "faculty," a way of being that requires complete transformation of the whole personality. Once he establishes that being loving is a rare achievement, he establishes the theory and practice of love. The theory is rooted in a tragic view of humans, namely, we are lonely and separate and this separateness can only be overcome by love, which requires discipline and patience and of course practice. This small gem of a book has survived and will survive because even though the answers are not easy they are true and universal. An excellent companion to this masterpiece is Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.



2. I read Erich Fromm's book many years ago, when I was in college in the late 60s/early 70s. It subtantially changed the way I viewed the world and to today influences what I believe and do.
   
   I just bought a copy of the volume for my daughter who is working her way into adulthood, on the hope that it can help her the way it helped me.
   
   I don't think there is any other work I have recommended to others more in my life and I recommend it to you. It is a short, wise book.
   
   William J. Trinkle----



3. This book was very impressive and I learned a lot about the subject of love and myself. It would be nice if every couple who are deciding to get married would read this book. If they did, perhaps they would understand going in that there is a lot more to it than 'what is in it for me.' Perhaps the sad divorce rate in our country would dissipate some extent. This book belongs on the top shelf with the other books I consider master works. I plan on reading the rest of Fromm's works.



4. "Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one's capacity to love. Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, not how to love." -Eric Fromm, The Art of Loving
   
   I picked up this book by chance at the Miami Dade County Book Fair. I had heard of Fromm briefly in my psychology class, and thought this little book (the actual text not more than 130 pages) would be a great companion to another book I picked up on love in Shakespeare's plays. Judging by his background psychology, I prepared myself for The Art of Loving to turn out like many other psychoanalytic books tend to be: a small book that would take an unimaginable amount of time to read. However, it was quite the contrary; what I encountered in this small book was an eye-opening experienced that made me aware of both my accomplishments and my failures in life. I found myself reading the book from cover to cover, flipping it over and starting again.
   
   As I read (and reread) the book felt like Fromm was talking directly to me, as if he and I were sitting down and having an in-depth conversation on love's role in my life. Fromm touches on all forms of love from parental love, to brotherly (neighborly) love, to erotic love, to love of God, and to self love, which he specifically explains is very different from narcissism. He speaks of the problem in the Western world's concept of love as a temporary gratification and a purely selfish act and discusses how to rectify it by attempting to invert what is seen and practiced in the world by learning to live in love, hinging it on the art of giving of oneself.
   
   However, do not expect, as Fromm states in the first section of this book, that you will find a step by step guide on `how to love'. This book is more of an awareness of what love is and how humanity does not love. It very much reveals yourself to yourself, and shows you how love is verb not a noun (thus an art and not a name). It is something you have to do constantly, not wait for it to come to you. As Fromm says, "What are the necessary steps in learning any art? One, mastery of the theory; two, mastery of the practice." For Fromm love is the answer to human existence and one must first learn to love oneself before he can attempt to love others. It is a self-changing experience.



5. This author is amazing. His insight from back in the 30's- 50's is really incredible.
   A perceptive and great writer. I enjoy his work. This book is very special because it the first one I read of his. I've given this book to many friends.
   Highly recommended.