5 comments about How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby: Fully revised and updated.

1. We are getting ready to put this book into practice. There is a lot of history included, and it is interesting and well written. When you finally get to the method, it is easy to follow and well outlined. At 36 I learned a lot more about my body and how my cycles work by reading this book. With my second child I had to follow chart my BBT and it never really worked well since my cycles seemed so irregular. This book made it clear what to look for and I found out my ovulation is not as irregular as I had thought. So after two boys, we are almost ready to start trying for baby number three. I would love to have another healthy baby... but it would be nice if we had a girl. Be very careful to understand, you should want another baby - boy or girl- and this book may aid in tipping the scales toward one or the other. We will see...



2. Well we started to use the methods in the book. My husband skipped right to the part on what to do to concieve the sex you want. I tried to read the whole book. There is just a lot of junk before you get to the good stuff. I won't be able to tell you if it worked or not though, we got pregnant before we got to try the methods.



3. This is the best book i have ever read!!! Now we just have to see when it works.



4. Great book! I LOVE IT! We hope to try to concieve in the next few months and wish meluck! We already have a beautiful baby girl, we'd like to give her a baby brother:)



5. The suggestions in this book worked for me and many other people I know 23 years ago. I bought it for someone who really wants to have a boy. I was thrilled to see that it has been updated and improved.

5 comments about 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD: How to Overcome Chronic Distraction & Accomplish Your Goals (10 Simple Solutions).

1. I wouldn't even give this book one star. It read like the author copied every basic article he could find on ADD and put it into this book. It didn't offer answers to anything. It was a waste of my time and money.



2. This is a book I wish I'd owned years and years ago. It would have changed my life back then. This book understands the goings-on in the mind of a person with ADD. It cuts to the chase giving advice that can be put into play on the spot. Great handbook.



3. This book was a quick, simple read - just what the ADD need! It's not going to solve your ADD problem 100%, but it certainly provides a great start to improving your current situation.



4. I love this book.It arrived quickly, and in great condition. If I didn't have ADD, I would have already left a review. Sorry, working on that.



5. I purchased this book for a book review I had to do in my graduate class. Not only did I end up loving the book but while reading it I called up many friends and family members to share information with them. I suspect I could have slight ADD after this book, but I did get through the whole thing in one sitting! It was a fun read, and it provides great examples and how to's! Even if you do not have ADD I highly recommend this book, it is very helpful for life with tips on organization, managing finances, etc. It is not dragged out with theories and lingo you can not understand, it is straightforward and speaks the truth! Two thumbs up for this book, a great read and a wonderful book to keep in your personal library, if not for you personally, it is extremely helpful to help you work with people who have ADD! :)

5 comments about Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder.

1. This book is a MUST HAVE if you live with anyone who suffers from bipolar. It was like reading my life story.



2. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder almost 2 years ago and since that time I've found the proper medication and therapy to help me along. I stopped having major depressive and manic episodes but I still had so many behaviors and problems I couldn't explain. I had decided that they stemmed from a personality defect and unless I changed myself, as a person, I could never have a successful relationship.
   
   Upon reading this book it was nearly like reading a memoir of my life. Every unexplainable thing I do was here, things that I never found in any other readings about bipolar disorder. I was always lead to believe that bipolar disorder was so black and white, manic and depressive, and no in between. This book has lead me to be simultaneously relieved and afraid at knowing now why I do the things I do. I feel less ashamed knowing that I wasn't a bad person, and it was really just the disorder. I have the book to thank for that.
   
   The book has an amazing emphasis on not blaming the suffering for behaving the way they do and not thinking that you can talk them out of their symptoms. I appreciate this very much and am glad that there is a book circulating where this is said. I'm also very grateful for a book that says exactly how each individual symptom can be dealt with and is completely tailor made for this disorder, rather than empty, shallow comments about "communication" and "understanding". This book may very well save my relationship. I would recommend this reading for EVERY person suffering from bipolar disorder or those close to the ill.



3. I read this book and Caring: Home Caregiving For A Loved One With Emotional Illness by Dr. Fredric Neuman and now have a better understanding on how to treat a loved one with emotional illness. The way I look at it is that if I can gain at least a few useful tips from these books it just makes life easier and better.



4. I think some people are missing the point that this book is trying to make. If you are bipolar and take the book to mean you are not to be held accountable for your actions; you are looking for an excuse to act out anyway. This book is meant to be utilized when the patient is well, so that they can learn to avoid those triggers (which are different for everyone) that cause the BP to de-stabilize. It is also meant to help the spouse understand that some of our behaviors are not character flaws but are actually symptoms of the illness (such as attention problems).
   
   I bought this book for my wonderful, patient husband, who was my caretaker after a post-partem bipolar psychosis that lasted for 7 years and has left me disabled. He has not read the book yet; but I did; and the book opened my own eyes as to how my illness affects him on an everyday basis.
   
   We have had nearly every problem the book talks about, even though I am a model patient. I do what I am told in therapy, take the meds, have a strict routine that includes daily exercise and healthy diet. I am very aware of several of my triggers and do my best to avoid them. Yet I still have daily issues with Bipolar Disorder that are severe enough for me to be considered disabled. I am happy for those who have long periods of remission. But it is offensive to read a review that assumes if you aren't stable then you are not taking care of yourself and you should "try harder". (I question the people who go on meds after one depression or mania and never have another episode, I do not believe they have true bipolar disorder.) Bipolar Disorder is a spectrum disorder; there are varying degrees and symptoms. It is also only treatable, not curable, which means that if you are like me, you may have breakthrough episodes even though you take the meds and do everything the doctor says to do (or not do). The "Bipolar Conversation" was very interesting and enlightening for me, and I intend to work hard on awareness of the things I say and do and how they affect others, especially my husband and children.
   
   The only criticism I have is that there needed to be more discussion about medication. Many of us are severely overmedicated (polypharmacy is a big problem), psychiatrists are sometimes less than understanding about medication issues; and when we are medicated to the hilt we must rely on our loved ones to speak for us. Side effects of meds can sometimes be more disabling than the illness itself. Our spouses need to know that it is unacceptable for us to be so medicated we gain 80 pounds, sleep 16 hours a day, or become so restless we can't do anything but pace and mumble. Short-term, yes, but NOT long term. Our spouses need to know it's okay to argue on our behalf to have dosages lowered or discontinued if they are causing these problems after stabilization.
   
   All in all a very informative book.



5. this is definately a strong recommanded book to read. i used to react to my partner when his bipolar episode start. i couldnt recognize when the episode starts, i always end up letting the bipolar hurting me and him.
   with the help of this book, i now can recognise the sign of the bipolar and stop it from getting worse when it seems about to start. and we are leading to a healthier relation now.
   i strongly recommand to those whose partner is suffering from bipolar disorder. you will know what to do, how to handle ur emotion and at the same time you will be able to help him/her.

5 comments about The New Dare to Discipline.

1. Hitting and spanking are two totally different things. The bible says that using the rod should be grievous for both the parent and the child. A parent should never enjoy it. Switching a child at 15 months is training, conditioning. It is only (done right) enough to make the child stop and pay attention, never more than a light sting. It is not punishment. It is telling the child his/her behavior is not acceptable. After tantrums become a habit, it is extremely hard to break and becomes a part of them. Reading more thoroughly with a prayerful heart is recommended and take what you want, leave the rest as my husband and I have.



2. This is a great book with very practial advice/examples. It is based on the Holy Bible and specific scriptures found on raising children. Based on some of the negative reviews, I'd guess those people don't believe the Bible and may not have even read this book! Otherwise, you wouldn't doubt his intentions or love for children. It has been a huge blessing in our household. Just to be clear, the discipline he advocates is not beating!! We do not, nor ever would beat our children.



3. This book is full of the dangerous rantings of a perverted person. He actually recommends whipping children as young as 15 months of age and tells parents not to pick up their infants when they cry. The book is full of statements like these that are in direct opposition to any scientific research.
   As a parent who used a very different approach, I hope that people will keep away from this book and these methods. Yes, it is necessary to discipline children, but not by beating them. Children must learn to be self-disciplined, meaning it is important for children to understand the reasons behind rules, not just to behave out of fear.
   Stay away from this book if you love your children. Use these methods if you want your children to hate and fear you.



4. My parents raised me and my 2 brothers based on the guidelines in this book. We are all now respectful, successful, and well-rounded adults. I never once feared my parents, or hated/resented them. I was only actually spanked no more than 3-4 times in my life, which proves this method works when used properly - never hitting out of anger, etc. I now thank my parents for raising me wonderfully and I only hope I can do half as good of a job with my children. They credit their parenting success to this book and Dr. James Dobson.



5. I am a Christian trauma therapist, specializing in the treatment of childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse, dissociation (ie. mentally checking out because the present was too overwhelming and/or terrifying) and PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
   
   I cannot tell you how many adults I have treated because their parents spanked, whipped, hit with belts, paddles, switches and hands and broke their hearts, destroyed their trust, installed Love=Pain on their internal "hard drive" and generally broke their spirit.
   
   Rather than taking the time to read Dobson's manifesto on humiliation and control disguised as discipline, here's a few quick and easy ways to screw up your child and make sure he/she grows up to not only need extensive therapy, but also ensure he/she has no power, no voice, low self-esteem, poor confidence and attracts abusing, controlling spouses and bosses just like you:
   
   1) Discipline is teaching. Instead of teaching using behavior modification with an age- appropriate reward vs deprivation chart, go out to the garage and find a rod, then use it with humiliation, fear and shame and tell them it's love. That produces instant obedience and instant damage.
   
   2) Make them always be in fear of your power, it's the only way to make them fear rather than respect and trust you.
   
   3) Demand that they be seen and not heard. Take away their voice, that way they won't ever talk back to you and they won't be able to talk back to a molester either.
   
   Dobson was obviously abused and beaten as a child, and his denial of how awful that must have been when he was small is fueling his crusade that the way to raise good citizens is to spank your children into submission. Only an ignorant fool would believe that and here in the Baptist south, there's a lot like him. Please parents, watch Super Nanny for healthy models of how to tame out-of-control children without hitting.

5 comments about The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder.

1. This workbook is essential for anyone who has a loved one with BPD or suspected BPD traits.



2. A godsend and an eye opener. Well worth getting if BPD traits are present in your loved one.



3. If you have a loved one acting unreasonable one day and loving the next,read this book They may not be on drugs not Bi-polar but Borderline Personality Disorder maybe after reading you will have an understanding of the behavior.It is treatable and gives we who live with this person hope the .Ranting , raving blambing ia explained along with sggestions on coping..Best book on this subject I have found.....



4. I had received "Stop Walking on Eggshells" from a family member. Upon reading it, I just knew that I would get the help I so needed with the workbook. I highly recommend this workbook in conjunction with the book for all who are dealing with someone who has been diagnosed with or suspected to have this disorder. I think you'll find that it seems as if you've written it yourself!!!



5. This disorder is simply a bitch to have and a bitch to deal with. As a professional I work so well with BPD that I wind up with a lot of them. I work well with them because I intuitively know how to but I can never put what I do in words.
   
   How I help THEM I can write about but how I deal with them myself is just done without thinking and so I can't write about it.
   
   This book does that very well and it is something that anyone who is choosing to try to "work it out" with a BPD person really MUST HAVE. Period. Period. Period.

5 comments about How to Behave and Why.

1. I really like this book. It is full of good old fashion advice on how to behave. It teaches the children how to be honest and thoughtful to the people around them. The drawings are simple but my kids thought they were funny.



2. The pictures are entertaining and the speaker captures the attention. My daughter is one to please adults, though. If your child is unruly, I'm not sure this book would work very much. A good reinforcer and fodder(sp?) for discussion.



3. I think that the lesson is a good one and something that every child needs to know, but its also a little long. My boys didn't have the patience for it. They were ready to go to the next thing after about half of it. I enjoyed it more than the kids.



4. Every family should have a copy of this book in their home library, or on their child's bookshelf! Every family member, young and old, should read it, and re-read it. WHY? Because it makes sense! It's about life, and how we need to live and cooperate with one another....it's how we ALL need to behave and why! It's every lesson we need to teach our children in order for them to become good little people, and it's a reminder for all adults out there too. It's A MUST HAVE!



5. Last year my then six year old grand daughter received this book from Santa because she had some "issues" (lying and stealing) at school.
   
   This year, at seven she is reading this book mostly by herself. We were sitting there and she was reading to me and made the comment, "Gram I like this book cause it makes you think about stuff".
   
   Written in 1946 Munro Leaf goes into why we have the basic social rules that we have and how important it is to try and follow them.
   
   Why it is important to be honest, strong fair and wise.
   
   What's important I noticed is that he was able to break down some of the most important concepts of behaving to the level that a child would understand and accept without being preachy.
   
   This book has helped my grand daughter out tremendously, Munro Leaf was a lot cheaper then a shrink and the book can be used to also help a seven year old read (have them read to you at night now).
   
   I can't brag on this book enough and am now returning to buy Munro Leaf's other books.
   
   The artwork is so so but then again this book wasn't written for an adult, it was written for kids and at least with my grand daughter, this book and it's valuable lessons reached her and changed her behavior on many levels.
   
   This is a 51 page book, but you can read (or have your child read) a little every night.
   
   Thank you Munro Leaf wherever you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments about Why Don't Your Eyelashes Grow?: Curious Questions Kids Ask About the Human Body.

1. Love this book! It is informative and entertaining. I truly enjoyed reading with my children. They were intrigued and wanted to know all the answers. It answered many of the questions they have asked in the past. I highly recommend it to all families.



2. My third grader says: I never knew the answers to half of these questions! And I never even thought of some of the questions. This book is fun and educational. The answers are very specific and scientific. I highly recommend it.



3. With the aid of daughters Andrea and Julia, Beth Ann Ditkoff, M. D. has created an informal guide to the human body. Why Don't Your Eyelashes Grow? is filled with fun trivia and those sensitive questions children like to ask while grownups flounder around for answers. Even if we know the answers, as parents we sometimes have trouble forming that knowledge into a coherent response. Thanks to Ditkoff, it's all compiled within the pages of this handy book for easy reference.
   
   The book is divided into four main sections, with an additional section for Bonus Body Trivia. "Your Body 101" leads the reader through basic facts, like why humans have earwax and what an Adam's Apple is. In "The Weird, The Ugly and the Downright Gross" Ditkoff tackles yuckier topics like nose hair, warts, and dandruff. "Body Afflictions and Everyday Strange Things That Can Happen" covers the many strange responses the human body has to external stimuli.
   
   "Urban Myth and What If?" is greatly comprised of adages you likely heard from your mother at some point. Readers can find out if it really is bad to crack your knuckles or if you'll actually see better if you eat carrots. This can be an invaluable section for children because it will reveal if your parents are really putting you on about swallowing your gum or drinking 8 glasses of water per day. The truth is revealed!
   
   The bonus trivia section seems dispensable. It contains only a sampling of questions compared to the first four sections. These are questions that could have been easily categorized within the earlier sections.
   
   Almost every topic has a single dedicated page. Each one is referenced individually in the table of contents for retrieval. The writing is quite scientific at times and might have to be reworded for younger children, but the questions are certainly familiar. Even adult readers have probably wondered about a few of them now and then. Ditkoff relates in the introduction how many of her own patients, as well as friends and family, frequently ask her questions similar to those in her book.
   
   Most of us go through life without fully understanding the mechanics of our bodies. Why Don't Your Eyelashes Grow? is a great way to familiarize ourselves with the complicated organic machines we rely on every day. Then when those curious inquisitors we know as our children stump us with new queries, we just might be able to dig up a meritable explanation.



4. My grandchildren love this book. The little ones know that all of their questions will be answered and the big ones just love to read it.

5 comments about I Miss You: A First Look At Death.

1. Reviewer's book: Overcoming Loss: Activities and Stories for Children Who Have Experienced Grief and Loss
   
   This beautifullly illustrated book has a gentle story about loss and the feelings associated with it for young children.



2. This book was very matter of fact. As mentioned by others, it can be used by all. If you wish to add religious information to your explanations to your child, then you can emblessish using an example. I found to book to tell of death in a very matter of fact way that young children understand.



3. Well written and illustrated. Easy for 3-4 year olds to understand.
   I like the questions - they give an opportunity for kids to think about who has died.



4. This is the only book I have found that is written in a sensitive and developmentally appropriate manner that addresses the need of the young child.
   Jo Ann Namm



5. If you want to explain a death in the family to children, and are looking for a book that does not rely on any particular belief system, this is the one to get. "I Miss You" explores death unsentimentally but compassionately, and puts the issues in a way children will understand. Some of the issues the book touches on:
   
   * All things are born, and eventually stop breathing, functioning, thinking, and die. In other words, death is an inevitable part of life.
   * Feelings of sadness are natural, and you may not want to be part of groups, and people may not know what to say to you.
   * There's a lot we don't know about death, and different cultures have different beliefs.
   * As long as you remember the ones who passed on, they become part of you, and are, in a sense, not dead.
   
   This is an excellent book, for children and adults alike, on a difficult subject.

5 comments about Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro [toilet training].

1. I was so impressed with Teri Crane's book on how to "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day" that I read it twice just to make sure I didn't miss anything. Her techniques work ! I highly recommend her method to anyone who has reached this milestone in his or her child's life. I hope Teri is in the process of writing another insightful book for us.
   
   Sincerely,
   M. P. Sullivan



2. Men's Health magazine wrote a 3 page article on this book in their Sept. '08 issue.
   
   I was so desperate to finally try a book that really worked! Too many of the potty training books out on the market today all rehash the same "old" tired toilet training tips. Teri Crane's book is unique in its ideas and a great read. Her secret is to throw a potty party. And if you think about it--what child doesn't love to play and pretend. With a few decorations that my son Nicolas loved, he became putty my instructional hands. And the best part--I didn't have to spend a lot of money. My son was having such a blast during our potty party--he didn't even realize he was being toilet trained.
   
   I read a few of the unfavorable reviews for this book and am really glad I kept an open mind. You can make this whole experience as lavish or economical as you wish. We probably spent about $40 on the entire party. Trust me, $40 is nothing compared to the $800 or more we were spending on disposables every year!
   
   The whole idea of making potty training "fun", is simply brilliant! As a Dad, I can honestly say I was dreading the whole idea of potty training. But this book actually made it a great bonding experience with me and my little guy.



3. I read 3 other potty training books by so called "experts" and none of them worked. This is hands down the best book I read, and more importantly, it worked. If you take the time to read and implement, you will get the results you desire.



4. This method really works. I bought several books to give away in my church to young mothers wanting to make money by offering potty training services.



5. The title of this book is what got my attention. I was very pregnant and extremely exhausted when I found it and I was not looking forward to potty training my very difficult 3 1/2 year old son. I picked up the book thinking I'd use it after the new baby had arrived and things had settled down, but that was not to be. My MIL called wanting to know how the potty training was going and that was it. We knew she wasn't going to let up.
   
   Soooo, I started planning our potty party, fully expecting to fail miserably. We couldn't find the peeing doll, improvised on the dolly underwear by cutting off the toes of my husband's old socks and snipping each corner off for the dolls legs to fit through and we weren't able to get everyone out of the house during the day, but other than that, we stuck to the book as closely as we could.
   
   The day came for my son's Lightning McQueen party and despite my husband's awesome decorating job that he pulled off BY HIMSELF while the rest of us were sleeping, things didn't start off too great. When it came time to pop the videos in, the first couple bombed and I was ready to give up. However it came time to try a video again, we slipped Potty Power - For Boys & Girls into the player and even though my son tried to resist, it was futile. He couldn't stop himself from singing along with the various potty songs which just happened to correspond quite nicely with Teri Crane's book.
   
   By the end of the day, my son was throwing away his diapers and putting forth a real effort to get to the potty on time. Within a week or two he was dry all day.
   
   He did continue to have accidents at night, but once we figured out he had a gluten intolerance and cut dairy, wheat, corn and peanut butter out of his diet, he stopped wetting the bed!
   
   I think this book and Potty Power were the perfect combination for my son's needs.

5 comments about The Four Loves.

1. This is in my opinion C.S. Lewis's best nonfiction work. The premise has been done before, but rarely with the sort of insight given here. His overviews of Affection and Friendship are much too often overlooked and glossed over as unimportant, but here they're given a status they really deserve.
   
   The section on friendship, and the idea that people are bonded through mutual passions, and his grim statement that people who are just looking for a friend will never find one, was spot on. Friendships are formed as an extension of a passion for something bigger than the individual. A mutual cause drives people, whether they be sports fanatics, a tribe pining for survival, or art critics.
   
   The pitfalls he explains for the loves such as lust, bigotry, elitism, etc. are self explanatory, but it's also practical. Friendships are exclusive by their very nature, and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with such a thing. Eros is most certainly exclusive. He emphasizes that we can't be friends with everyone, love everyone with Eros, but we can love everyone with Charity, the final section of the book.
   
   One could write a book three times longer and not come close to the depth portrayed in this little book. Strongly recommended.



2. C. S. Lewis is not only one of the 20th century's finest minds, he's also amazingly perceptive of human behavior. This well-written description explains so clearly the four kinds of love and with such accessible illustrations from real life. Most eye-opening for me was the chapter on "affection" where I began to understand for the first time why we moms think we are so misunderstood; in actuality, our "affection" (storge) for our family has gotten out of hand! You'll need to read in order to understand. I highly recommend this book.



3. The book arrived well within the given timeframe and was in great shape. It was also a great price.



4. There are two types of love... true love and mundane love, mundane love is mixed and can be given, taken for selfish reasons, true love however has no shadow of selfishness, but is selfless in the presence of the object of its/his/her lover. infact true love empties itself into the person or thing it is loving. just as some of us empty ourselves into the posts we put on amazon. And in emptying ourselves we are filled with the satisfaction that we may have shared a little understanding (truth).
   
   i have given this book three stars because this is such a monumental subject lewis is writing about, and also because it is very honest. he is clearly wracked by certain doubts as pertains to his somewhat 'evangelical' slant which gives so many simple, though often emotionally unsatisfying answers. this is a christian exploring deeper than the answers he has been giving in his previous books. Having met Joy Davidson in September 1952, this book was published in 1960, but he is certainly asking some very difficult questions for which a simple answer just wont do. not knowing the history of lewis i can see that he was brave enough at the time of this book to confront certain loose ends in his once over-simplistic theology. [on page 154 in the chapter 'charity']
   
   some excerpts from p 154: Harper Collins 2002 edn: "God carried in his hand a little object like a nut, and that nut was 'all that is made'(Julian of Norwich). God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly 'superfluous' creatures in order that He may love and perfect them... the buzzing cloud of flies about the cross...[and] If i may dare the biological image, God is a 'host' who deliberately creates His own parasites causes us to be that we may exploit and 'take advantage of' Him. Hererin is love. (are these not the views of some, and with these 'some', he is struggling in the chapter on charity, clear as crystal. infact this whole chapter is a struggle. i find it sad some have said, he denied his faith at the end, no, he found it at the end!)
   
   those of us who have watched and loved the film "shadow-lands", though i hear it is not an entirely accurate representation of things, can see something of the struggle that was going on inside his mind as to just what is 'love' and what love demands of us. his future wife, Joy, a christian herself, and a divorcee was a very profound thinker and challenged the way he thought, right into the marrow of his bones, to the core of his heart and soul. his simple little packaged answers to difficult questions, of which at one time he was so sure all came tumbling down when joy was diagnosed with cancer. he married her shortly before her death... much to the horror of a traditional and evangelical church. one just did not marry a divorcee in those days! in the film, perhaps the most moving scene is when he admits... "i just dont have any answers anymore".
   
   the four loves are the four greek words: agape (charitas), filia, eros and sorge. the one we are interested in here encompases and enlivens the other three. the one is "charitas"/"agape", we do not have a new testament in the original hebrew sadly, but it is in my mind a certainty that the word 'chesed' or 'hesed' is synonymous with the greek usage 'agape' and that the word charitas is directly derived from chesed. this chesed or agape represents true love, or as the jews understand it 'loving kindness'. loving kindness is the force behind creation and salvation in the mind and heart of the jew. this too would have been the word in jesus that propelled him and moved him to will and act as he does and did. he would have grown up a witness of the chesed between his mother and father, and the chesed he shared with his parents and friends, even his enemies and the chesed between God and his chosen people.
   
   as christians though, we believe that Jesus was and is the personification of true love. that is... Jesus is Chesed, Jesus is Agape, God is Love. we christians believe that it was Jesus the Word that created all ("by him, all things were made"), we also believe that it is Jesus who will redeem all. "for he is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the 'whole' world." (Authorised King James version-New Testament). therefore Jesus is chesed. it is only sad that we cannot read the original hebrew to see this word inscribed before our very eyes. not only is chesed a word, it encapsulates the true nature and being of God. I wonder if the cHasidic Jews realize just how awesome their nameing, and the 'full' meaning of this name chesed.
   
   the awesome, and i have to use this word awesome again and again, christian revelation is that God is Love. God is Chesed/Agape. some will frown at this... "is not chesed, albeit the highest of all Gods attributes, only an attribute?" No, we as christians believe that loving kindness is God. And what is agape? agape is chesed! and what is chesed? chesed is 'true' love, and what is true love? true love is 'loving kindness'.
   
   lewis points towards a jewish translation when he calls agape 'gift love', this is because, chesed is a giving, merciful love without strings attached. it shows and shares itself with both the good and the bad, the obedient and the disobedient. it is a free gift. Lewis pointing at a christian understanding speaks of 'Love Himself'. the personification of Love, being God. (one person within three).
   
   it is from God that all good procedes, gods love is found in all and therefore all are God, love makes divine, that which is not divine, thus speaks the language of love, without judgement. the language of logic and reason says: "ah yes, but God is 'that' i am". correct, the truth however always resides in a paradox. that God is all and yet perfect in and as one. love says all is one, reason says one is one. love says everywhere, reason says over there. love knows all, reason knows nothing. or love knows all, reason knows very little. logic, analysis and interpretation can only take us so far, the reason has its limits, we must be prepared to open our hearts. chesed is more than an attribute, chesed is one, and makes all things one. its tendency is to draw together and not to separate.
   
   this is the earth-mending teaching of the early church, but not always remembered. that God is love/agape/chesed. lets try not to forget it, so please help us dear father in heaven to remember this and live it by your chesed/yourself.
   
   with loveing kindness, by loveing kindness, from, snow-flake. xxx



5. Though C. S. Lewis was a bachelor most of his life, he never lived alone. And the people with which he shared his home were far from perfect. In one of his letters, he writes that he often came home with a feeling of dread, because he was afraid of the horrible conflicts that had arisen in his absence. A peaceful home was something that Lewis did not experience very often.
   
   This - apart from his literary input - provided him with ample examples of what different kinds of love are like and what their corresponding weaknesses are. Especially the weaknesses. It does not come as a surprise, then, that "The Four Loves" is filled with everyday examples of human weaknesses, many of them in a home setting.
   
   As in his other writings such as "The Screwtape Letters," Lewis makes his observations of human nature with a keen eye and articulates them eloquently, focusing in this book on the themes of affection, friendship, romantic/erotic love, and selfless love (in the original sense of "charity").
   
   About romantic love, for instance, he says that oftentimes it "extenuates - almost sanctions - almost sanctifies - any actions it leads to. When lovers say of some act that we might blame, `Love made us do it,' notice the tone. A man saying, `I did it because I was frightened,' or `I did it because I was angry,' speaks quite differently. He is putting forward an excuse for what he feels to require excusing. But the lovers are seldom doing quite that. The confession can be almost a boast. In extreme cases what their words really express is a demure yet unshakable allegiance to the god of love."
   
   Strong words. But with much wisdom.
   
   "The Four Loves" is as challenging as it is delightful and instructive. I have little doubt that I shall read it again one day.
   
   - Jacob Schriftman, Author of The C. S. Lewis Book on the Bible: What the Greatest Christian Writer Thought About the Greatest Book