5 comments about The Four Loves.

1. This is in my opinion C.S. Lewis's best nonfiction work. The premise has been done before, but rarely with the sort of insight given here. His overviews of Affection and Friendship are much too often overlooked and glossed over as unimportant, but here they're given a status they really deserve.
   
   The section on friendship, and the idea that people are bonded through mutual passions, and his grim statement that people who are just looking for a friend will never find one, was spot on. Friendships are formed as an extension of a passion for something bigger than the individual. A mutual cause drives people, whether they be sports fanatics, a tribe pining for survival, or art critics.
   
   The pitfalls he explains for the loves such as lust, bigotry, elitism, etc. are self explanatory, but it's also practical. Friendships are exclusive by their very nature, and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with such a thing. Eros is most certainly exclusive. He emphasizes that we can't be friends with everyone, love everyone with Eros, but we can love everyone with Charity, the final section of the book.
   
   One could write a book three times longer and not come close to the depth portrayed in this little book. Strongly recommended.



2. C. S. Lewis is not only one of the 20th century's finest minds, he's also amazingly perceptive of human behavior. This well-written description explains so clearly the four kinds of love and with such accessible illustrations from real life. Most eye-opening for me was the chapter on "affection" where I began to understand for the first time why we moms think we are so misunderstood; in actuality, our "affection" (storge) for our family has gotten out of hand! You'll need to read in order to understand. I highly recommend this book.



3. The book arrived well within the given timeframe and was in great shape. It was also a great price.



4. There are two types of love... true love and mundane love, mundane love is mixed and can be given, taken for selfish reasons, true love however has no shadow of selfishness, but is selfless in the presence of the object of its/his/her lover. infact true love empties itself into the person or thing it is loving. just as some of us empty ourselves into the posts we put on amazon. And in emptying ourselves we are filled with the satisfaction that we may have shared a little understanding (truth).
   
   i have given this book three stars because this is such a monumental subject lewis is writing about, and also because it is very honest. he is clearly wracked by certain doubts as pertains to his somewhat 'evangelical' slant which gives so many simple, though often emotionally unsatisfying answers. this is a christian exploring deeper than the answers he has been giving in his previous books. Having met Joy Davidson in September 1952, this book was published in 1960, but he is certainly asking some very difficult questions for which a simple answer just wont do. not knowing the history of lewis i can see that he was brave enough at the time of this book to confront certain loose ends in his once over-simplistic theology. [on page 154 in the chapter 'charity']
   
   some excerpts from p 154: Harper Collins 2002 edn: "God carried in his hand a little object like a nut, and that nut was 'all that is made'(Julian of Norwich). God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly 'superfluous' creatures in order that He may love and perfect them... the buzzing cloud of flies about the cross...[and] If i may dare the biological image, God is a 'host' who deliberately creates His own parasites causes us to be that we may exploit and 'take advantage of' Him. Hererin is love. (are these not the views of some, and with these 'some', he is struggling in the chapter on charity, clear as crystal. infact this whole chapter is a struggle. i find it sad some have said, he denied his faith at the end, no, he found it at the end!)
   
   those of us who have watched and loved the film "shadow-lands", though i hear it is not an entirely accurate representation of things, can see something of the struggle that was going on inside his mind as to just what is 'love' and what love demands of us. his future wife, Joy, a christian herself, and a divorcee was a very profound thinker and challenged the way he thought, right into the marrow of his bones, to the core of his heart and soul. his simple little packaged answers to difficult questions, of which at one time he was so sure all came tumbling down when joy was diagnosed with cancer. he married her shortly before her death... much to the horror of a traditional and evangelical church. one just did not marry a divorcee in those days! in the film, perhaps the most moving scene is when he admits... "i just dont have any answers anymore".
   
   the four loves are the four greek words: agape (charitas), filia, eros and sorge. the one we are interested in here encompases and enlivens the other three. the one is "charitas"/"agape", we do not have a new testament in the original hebrew sadly, but it is in my mind a certainty that the word 'chesed' or 'hesed' is synonymous with the greek usage 'agape' and that the word charitas is directly derived from chesed. this chesed or agape represents true love, or as the jews understand it 'loving kindness'. loving kindness is the force behind creation and salvation in the mind and heart of the jew. this too would have been the word in jesus that propelled him and moved him to will and act as he does and did. he would have grown up a witness of the chesed between his mother and father, and the chesed he shared with his parents and friends, even his enemies and the chesed between God and his chosen people.
   
   as christians though, we believe that Jesus was and is the personification of true love. that is... Jesus is Chesed, Jesus is Agape, God is Love. we christians believe that it was Jesus the Word that created all ("by him, all things were made"), we also believe that it is Jesus who will redeem all. "for he is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the 'whole' world." (Authorised King James version-New Testament). therefore Jesus is chesed. it is only sad that we cannot read the original hebrew to see this word inscribed before our very eyes. not only is chesed a word, it encapsulates the true nature and being of God. I wonder if the cHasidic Jews realize just how awesome their nameing, and the 'full' meaning of this name chesed.
   
   the awesome, and i have to use this word awesome again and again, christian revelation is that God is Love. God is Chesed/Agape. some will frown at this... "is not chesed, albeit the highest of all Gods attributes, only an attribute?" No, we as christians believe that loving kindness is God. And what is agape? agape is chesed! and what is chesed? chesed is 'true' love, and what is true love? true love is 'loving kindness'.
   
   lewis points towards a jewish translation when he calls agape 'gift love', this is because, chesed is a giving, merciful love without strings attached. it shows and shares itself with both the good and the bad, the obedient and the disobedient. it is a free gift. Lewis pointing at a christian understanding speaks of 'Love Himself'. the personification of Love, being God. (one person within three).
   
   it is from God that all good procedes, gods love is found in all and therefore all are God, love makes divine, that which is not divine, thus speaks the language of love, without judgement. the language of logic and reason says: "ah yes, but God is 'that' i am". correct, the truth however always resides in a paradox. that God is all and yet perfect in and as one. love says all is one, reason says one is one. love says everywhere, reason says over there. love knows all, reason knows nothing. or love knows all, reason knows very little. logic, analysis and interpretation can only take us so far, the reason has its limits, we must be prepared to open our hearts. chesed is more than an attribute, chesed is one, and makes all things one. its tendency is to draw together and not to separate.
   
   this is the earth-mending teaching of the early church, but not always remembered. that God is love/agape/chesed. lets try not to forget it, so please help us dear father in heaven to remember this and live it by your chesed/yourself.
   
   with loveing kindness, by loveing kindness, from, snow-flake. xxx



5. Though C. S. Lewis was a bachelor most of his life, he never lived alone. And the people with which he shared his home were far from perfect. In one of his letters, he writes that he often came home with a feeling of dread, because he was afraid of the horrible conflicts that had arisen in his absence. A peaceful home was something that Lewis did not experience very often.
   
   This - apart from his literary input - provided him with ample examples of what different kinds of love are like and what their corresponding weaknesses are. Especially the weaknesses. It does not come as a surprise, then, that "The Four Loves" is filled with everyday examples of human weaknesses, many of them in a home setting.
   
   As in his other writings such as "The Screwtape Letters," Lewis makes his observations of human nature with a keen eye and articulates them eloquently, focusing in this book on the themes of affection, friendship, romantic/erotic love, and selfless love (in the original sense of "charity").
   
   About romantic love, for instance, he says that oftentimes it "extenuates - almost sanctions - almost sanctifies - any actions it leads to. When lovers say of some act that we might blame, `Love made us do it,' notice the tone. A man saying, `I did it because I was frightened,' or `I did it because I was angry,' speaks quite differently. He is putting forward an excuse for what he feels to require excusing. But the lovers are seldom doing quite that. The confession can be almost a boast. In extreme cases what their words really express is a demure yet unshakable allegiance to the god of love."
   
   Strong words. But with much wisdom.
   
   "The Four Loves" is as challenging as it is delightful and instructive. I have little doubt that I shall read it again one day.
   
   - Jacob Schriftman, Author of The C. S. Lewis Book on the Bible: What the Greatest Christian Writer Thought About the Greatest Book

5 comments about The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism.

1. "Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships" Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism", by Temple Grandin & Sean Baron and Editor Veronica Zysk. Future Horizons, TX 2005. ISBN 1-932565-06-X. HC 383 pages, no illust., 3 pgs. Ref. 9 1/4" x 6 1/4".
   
   An intense, factual expose of the autistic mind-set interpreted through the minds of two published writers, both of whom worked successfully to overcome their ASD (autism spectrum disorder) disabilities, including AS (Asperger's) or Aspies. The book's format was uniquely addressed by having a skilled editor monitor major issues and allowing the authors to define & explicate personal experiences & varied techniques they used to overcome obstacles and deficiencies, nearly all of which involved social interaction with peers, parents & professionals (teachers or employers).
   
   Importantly the spectral divergence of afflictions were compared and categorized into basic subtypes as Imaging vs Logical (flat affect) vs Emotional types; noting need to become integrated in society through compensatory, modified behaviors, while stressing importance of obtaining early help through parenting, mentors, professionals and inherent need to gain motivation and self-esteem. Great emphasis is placed on the "Ten Unwritten Rules of Social Relationship", most of which are social skills & behaviors taught under generic term of manners, etc., and are discussed in a highly emphatic but coherent manner. Specific weak links in ASD include rigidity of thought & behavior, difficulty in multi-tasking, emotional absence or lability, lack of perspective thinking, and naiveté or guilelessness wherein unfair advantage is easily taken of them.
   
   The book, as a primer teaching tool, rightfully contains modest prolixity, which in and of itself is common to ASD. The mismatch of the sensory inputs (visual, auditory, touch, etc.) often requires environmental adjustments or elimination, at times the use of medications or special diets, and regular exercise is emphasized. Conclusions include some brief synopses of other ASDs having diverse problems, some undiagnosed until adulthood. Current era where societal integration is less tightly bonded, family units fragmented and a heightened if not frantic pace of living reigns in a culture of increasing acceptance of using drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, video-games, C-Ps and self-importance causes authors to suggest current-day treatment is more difficult than during the 50's and 60's when B&W TV was monitored.
   
   This is a book that everyone, affected or not, would learn a great deal about successful societal integration.



2. This book if filled with great information about Temple and Sean growing up in and how their disorder effected all parts of their lives. This book is beneficial for other families and for professionals. I highly recommended this title!



3. The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of AutismAs the parent of 2 children and a husband with Asperger's, this book (I've read many)has many Aha moments. Very well written and very insightful. A must read for parents, teachers, etc. who work with children with Autism and Aspergers. I originally bought this book to help my now teenage boys with the social aspects of growing up but I have learned just as much if not more about how they look at life.



4. As a man in my 40's who recently discovered I have symptoms of Asperger's, this book was very helpful. It's a well written, easy read. The stories and advice of the two authors are interwoven in such a way to provide alternate perspectives. Grandin is logical. Barron is emotional. The authors offer practical advice in compensating for literal rigid thinking, anxiety by adjusting diet and increasing flexibility and learning social rules. Grandin speaks frankly. I learned much about myself and other people.



5. Very fabulous insight into the world of ASD and being a grandmother to an Aspie I welcome all the info I can gather. Such an interesting world and Temple Grandin and Sean Barron are heros to share their life experience and expertise. Thanks so much for your wisdom!!

5 comments about Squirms, Screams and Squirts: Going from Great Sex to Extraordinary Sex.

1. While there are things I would like to see expanded in this book and a poor choice of Wikipedia for some of the information, it is a good book that looks at sex as something far more than penis-vagina intercourse. The focus of this book is on making sexual intimacy primarily about female pleasure with the idea that penetration then may follow and indeed sexual encounters increase when the woman is very well pleased with her partner (male or female). The language of the book is more appealing for men I strongly suspect but then men are the target audience. As long as the reader does not see the book as a step by step list of activities he must do and considers the questions and underlining goals, he'll get good use of the book. Sadly as a scholar the use of Wikipedia instead of peer reviewed studies of human sexuality or anatomy automatically knocks off a star for me in the review.



2. An enlightening and expansive perspective for male or female readers. The sensativity and integrity of the writer are evident. The intention is to create a fun, relaxing and satisfying experience for both participants. The friends I have gifted with this book are thrilled and have shared it with their friends.
   Margaret



3. I have to admit I was somewhat disappointed in this and very pleased at the same time. When it arrived, with other books I should mention, my wife took the tried and true stance, similar to the past 20 years, of "not again". She did not want to even look at the books. However, this book is designed on how to please the woman only and directed entirely to her pleasure. Which I must say is 99% of the way it should be anyway. So, my wife thought I should read this book only and return the others. I read it and was disappointed a little. I got 75% of the way through before it began to teach me anything I did not already know and I realy don't know anything.
   
   I did like the chapter on shaving very much. In fact for the last few years I have been shaving my own face with the old shaving cream and brush and can attest to the closeness of the shave and it is best for sensitive skin, but I digress. I think only 2 of the 12 or 13 chapters had any information that was useful, but Oh how useful they were. I was able to try something new one evening and she said "did you get that from the book?" With a grin on her face and a shortness of breath not noticed in a few years.
   
   I of coarse gave all the credit to the book. She then thought we should read it together and look at the other books as well. So, even though I think only 2 chapters had anything new they have served both of us old married folk well and that would be why it gets 5 stars. Not because I learned stuff from start to end, but because the book in general did what I was hoping for, renewed some fire into a couple middle aged, slightly pudgy, people who needed a spark.



4. This is a great book if you're looking for the mechanics of producing pleasure in the female body. However, if you see people more holistically, as the union of body, mind, and spirit or heart, or a relationship as something more than a context for sex, this isn't the book for you. The author reduces sex to an almost clinical attempt to cause pleasure in the female body--almost as if it's a machine. For example, at one point he recommends the use of rubber gloves--a recommendable practice to avoid infection, to be sure, but what couple really wants to make their bedroom a doctor's office, unless it's only about physical sensations? Also, there's an obsessive emphasis placed on producing a bed-wetting female ejaculation--who cares about this subject if your sexual/personal relationship is otherwise complete? The author does talk some about relationships and romance, but their only purpose seems to be getting her in bed and ultimately getting the machine going, rather than being ends in themselves. He even discusses how to talk to a woman to get her to open up to more experimentation and expanded mechanics. It all depends on what you want.



5. This is a good read. What I appreciated is that it looks at sex in a way that "connects" mental, emotional, and physical. It's not just info like "touch her here" or anything.
   
   Got this book as I was reading up on the subject of female ejaculation. Combined with Player's Handbook Volume 3 - Make Her Squirt! A Quick and Dirty Guide to Female Ejaculation and Extended Orgasm, which is more "hands on" (no pun intended), I was able to put everything together and make things happen...if you know what I mean.
   
   What I love about both books is they're "real world" information, rather than just technical stuff by people with PhDs or something. Zzzzzzz...
   
   Bottom line-- this is a bargain for what you'll get out of it. Seriously, it's worth 1000x the price.

5 comments about Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication.

1. Ginott's "Between Parent and Child" played an important role for my family as I reared my daughter in the 1960's and 1970's. It is a thoughtful book that affirms the dignity of the child and fosters the parents' understanding of child development. My daughter will have her first child this summer and I purchased this book for her. It is relevant today as it was 40 years ago.



2. I can't say enough about how valuable this book is. If I could meet the author myself to get down on my knees and thank him, I would. He has given such wise advice about the importance of caring about children's feelings. He has taught me more effectively than anyone else in my life what it really means to respect other people. I try to keep his principles in mind every day when raising my three children, ages six, four and sixteen months. Demonstrating the fact that I care about their feelings has helped me tremendously in disciplining them. They are well-behaved and happy children (most of the time!) Excellent, superb. The wisdom is sound and deserves much more than a quick glance. The more time you invest in internalizing the principles, the more you will get out of it. I am forever indebted to Dr. Ginott!!



3. He advocates showing children by our example how to be kind and gentle, and yet powerful too. The only draw back is this book is weak in the area of sexual identity. His first version of this book is not like that. I do not agree with everything in this book, but most of it is so true. This book helps me parent my children and myself much more positively.



4. Timeless advice that saves a parent's sanity while preserving your little ones' integrity and self-esteem. Presents discipline in a positive manner and encourages parents to see the world through their children's eyes..if you can see a situation from someone else's point of view, it is much easier to understand and handle. Well, this teaches you to get down to your child's level. To work WITH your child rather than create adversarial relationships. Highly reccommended



5. I first read this book 20 years ago, it was the single most thing (the other being little house on the prarie) that really turned my familey around...I now have sent this one to my youngest son to use for my perfect grand childern.
   Thanks for being so quick with my order.
   Sharon Chambers

5 comments about That's My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character.

1. I was having a lot of trouble with my relationship with my 9 yr. old son, so I bought this book (as well as The Mommy Manual by Barbara Curtis), and although I've only just read the first chapter, I've already learned a few things about boys (and men) that I didn't understand before, and I can look at my son with a little more understanding now. I recommend this book to all moms who have sons (or a husband for that matter!) :)



2. I really enjoyed this book. Although it is written to speak to mothers who raise their children by them selves, as a stay at home mom of a 2yo, I found the information in the book helpful. My biggest take away is to have a conversation with boys while you are moving, it registers in their brains better if you are active with them. What a great tip to help me be a better mom.



3. I have read a lot of books about raising boys, most of them written especially for fathers. This is the first book I have come across especially for moms. As a single mother with a son to raise I have been looking for a book like this.



4. Being an only child with a father who was raised with a strong mother and 3 sisters, I was not ready for the differences in raising a son. This is straight forward and real life information. No scientific studies or wordiness. The real deal. Some things I never thought of facing or being an issue. Helped me "love" (v) my son again and lessen the frustration which dominated my mind.



5. Travelling for Thanksgiving last year, I picked this book up at a huge truck stop in Waco, TX. I literally couldn't put it down, & immediately went to the better dads website to order my husband the fathers book. For the first time, I finally felt more courageous & confident on how to raise a son to become a good man. In a society that no longer encourages raising boys to become men of character & integrity, I think this should be required reading to have a son! :) I can't recommend this great book enough.....I promise it is worth every penny to purchase it, & then some. Rick also does speaking events & is an amazing speaker. We were so touched by his books, we had him come to our church in Texas to do a few of his seminars, they were awesome! Truly such a blessing to our entire community. Thanks Rick!

5 comments about Clueless in the Kitchen: A Cookbook for Teens and other Beginners (The Clueless series).

1. This book is great for teenagers, and also for people like me: the ones that just never learned. It is simple and easy to use. My guests are so happy that I can now whip them up something for breakfast or dinner. Also, this is a really great gift for those people going off to college. It even includes a complete list of what to get for a starter kitchen.



2. While I'm sure there are a few teens out there who are interested in cooking a turkey or baking bread, the book is doing itself a disservice by suggesting it is for teens. It's a very good book for the more adventurous of young cooks, but more probably for the 30-something set who loves spending time and money in the kitchen. This book is a wealth of information for the more adventurous cook of any age. The style is warm and a bit humorous, never a bad thing when tackling your first pot roast. So, while I do recommend this book, I have to add that I would not buy it for any inexperienced cooks, especially teens. 50 Ways to Leave Your Mother



3. after my sister got this I got to read it and it is the ultimate beginners cookbook for anyone on a budget or anyone wanting to learn how to cook who has no experience in the kitchen, wonderful for dorm/minimalist cooking or cooking for a small group.



4. well im not really clueless in the kitchen but this book helped me find new recipies and cook stuff i never cooked b4.well i like this book (even though my brownies sucked)



5. I bought this book for a little brother entering college, because I used it myself in college. Straightforward instructions, recipes that are comfort food but simplified. Nothing fancy, no photos, just a great resource.

5 comments about Chicken Soup for the Grandma's Soul: Stories to Honor and Celebrate the Ageless Love of Grandmothers (Chicken Soup for the Soul).

1. Was happy with the book. Wish it would have come before Mother's Day, but still enjoyed the book.



2. Chicken Soup for the Grandma's Soul: Stories to Honor and Celebrate the Ageless Love of Grandmothers (Chicken Soup for the Soul)
   This an excellent book, full of wonderful, enlightening stories. It's an easy read...one you can put down and pick back up...although difficult to put down. I found myself saying, "Okay, just one more story, then I'll go to bed" or whatever! It's like I've found any of the books in the Chicken Soup Series...Great reads. Highly recommended...and this comes from a soon to be new grandma for the first time!



3. I've never read a Chicken Soup book that didn't touch my heart. I read them in my classroom to promote kindness, love and acceptance. I've given them as gifts and I've received them as gifts.
   
   Chicken Soup for the Grandma's Soul is a gift I bought for myself. It was a good investment. The stories are heartwarming. You leave each story with a sense of peace. It is one of the last remaining "feel good" books.



4. I bought 2 of this book for each of my son's grandma's. These stories definitely make you laugh and cry. I am big fan of Chicken soup books and own several myself.



5. purchased this for a friend who is about to become a first time grandma. I'm a grandma 4x's and I love these chicken soup books. They are uplifting, funny, sometimes sad and I never get tired of reading the stories. They always bring a smile, a laugh and tears of happiness and remembrance. Keep them coming!!!

5 comments about In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People.

1. This book helps you deal with those people who make you feel bad at saying no. They manipulate you by making you feel like you are the bad guy. Its easier deal with someone who is overtly aggressive than covertly, because you can see their manipulations. That is why I highly recommend this book for everyone!



2. The book makes use of examples and has a chapter that describes the basic tools of a manipulator. I congratulate the author for rejecting the notion that manipulative behaviour stems from some sort of 'insecurity' or 'feelings of inadequacy'. All to often it's used as a rationalization for the behaviour of a manipulator. They are not insecure and they certainly do not consider themselves inadequate, far from it! He also suggests that manipulators do not need counselling - they need correction. I couldn't agree more!
   
   The books falls down in that it does not discuss in detail how to combat the tools of a manipulator. Yes, it does give a few examples but the descriptions are shallow and do not tell the reader how and why they work. Mainly it seems to focus on offering 'win win' situations to manipulators - frankly this is something I would hesitate to use. It seems like 'feeding the beast' rather than correction - which is what the author states manipulators need in the first chapters. Overall the book is easy to read and provides a guide to identifying a manipulators - but it does not give you the tools to protect yourself....



3. After reading this book my manager's behavior makes perfect sense. I had never encountered someone as twisted as this person. And it took me quite a while to see his true colors. Now I know exactly where he's coming from, why he does what he does. It's sad that there are people out there that make life so much harder than it should have to be for the rest of us. But being able to identify such people in your life (both at home and at work) is very important and can be of invaluable help to:
   
   1) not go crazy oneself,
   2) take corrective action.
   
   Summarizing: the book is written with amazing clarity and exposure. Also the examples of life situations are excellent. If you read only 1 book this year, read this one.



4. Dr. Simon teaches the mechanics of popular tactics used by manipulators and how you can identify and thwart off these attacks so that you control the situation and outcome.
   
   Dr. Simon also challenges the popular tenet held sacred by most psychologists: "One who is a manipulator must have been a constant victim of manipulation themselves." Dr Simon teaches that many cruel manipulators were never victims, they just mastered the tactics because they believe hurting, embarrassing, insulting, or belittling others gets them what they want fast.
   
   How this book helped me: There is a person that I have no choice but to see around almost every day for the past few years. After the end of every "friendly" conversation I felt depressed or insulted but could not figure out how this person was doing it. This book helped me to understand what was really happening and by following Dr. Simon's guidelines exposed this person and took control. Because this person knows it can no longer control me, it does not even look at me when we pass. Not a perfect relationship but it is better than the alternative.



5. This will help you with all types of people but is really good if you are having problems with a child that is having trouble. It provides you with some workable tools to deal with the problem child.

5 comments about Good Night Sleep Tight: The Sleep Ladys Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep, and Wake Up Happy.

1. I must admit that I was skeptical at first, but I am happy to say that Kim West's methods really work. I was very pleasently surprised. Our baby has gone from waking up a minimum of three to up to six times per night to now one waking at around 5AM. And I think there is still room for improvement on that as we are still in the middle of our "sleep training". I would encourage you to give the book and methods a try even if you are a skeptic like I was. Just be prepared for things to get worse for several nights before they get better... but it is well worth the sacrifice for a week in my mind.
   
   It is also worth mentioning that our baby was not able to fall asleep unless she was feeding. The feeding calmed her down, which is natural, and eventually soothed her to sleep. This is the only way that she knew how to fall asleep. Now she can fall asleep on her own without having to be feeding to do so.
   
   Good luck!



2. This book literally saved my sanity. My son was co-sleeping and practically nursing all night long. Not to mention naps were very difficult. I wasn't getting any sleep until I found this book. I'm a firm believer that every child is unique and you have to do what's right for you so I was able to adjust the method to work for me and my son. It worked miracles. Within a week my son was sleeping through the night in his own crib. After I had my second son I used this book as well. It has helped me so much. Now I am a much happier mommy with much happier babies:)



3. I read this book when my son was about 9months old and I was exhausted. It saved my life, or certainly my nighttime. Very helpful. It's not rocket science, but it helps to guide an exhauted and weary parent through allowing your child to figure out how to put him/herself to sleep. My son is now nearing 2 and I am still thankful everyday.



4. This book is pretty good as it details sleep issues for many different stages in a child's life BUT on the whole was a bit vague on the sections where I needed help. It didn't really go into the full specifics for trying to get our son to sleep through the night but I guess every baby is different. If you are trying to get help for your baby to sleep better then this book is certainly worth a read, but I am sure, like us, it probably won't be the only one you buy......................................sorry I dozed off there , sleep deprivation.



5. I like the idea of this book but it is not workable with a 19 month old and a 5 month old. I can't take the time to sit with the 5 month old to let him get to sleep on his own while the other one is getting into everything that isn't and is strapped down. Maybe when the hubby has time off we can give it a try.

5 comments about People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts.

1. This is an very detailed people skills guide on how to be sucessful in today's complex world. I found it a very high caliber read about communication.



2. This communication skills handbook is a good one to add to your library. Sometimes people need to be refreshed on old skills, especially if one does not attend any type of annual conferences or seminars to rejuvenate and motivate one's performance. Noted content topics include: (1)Skills for Bridging the Interpersonal Gap (2)Barriers to Communication (3)Listening Skills (4)Reflective Listening (5)Reflective Responses (6)Reading Body Language (7)Assertive Skills (8)Conflict Management Skills and (9)Collaborative Problem Solving.
   
   People skills are necessary for all areas of life (familial, workplace, social, and religious). This is a great book for Managers to invest in and provide copies to Administrative Professionals, etc. in the organization. Teachers this is a great book to have on your shelf of books to share with the eager and hungry readers. Also a great gift for teens or college bound students.



3. While I purchased this book as a required reading material for my Master's program, I find that I have now recommended it to about five other people (outside of school) in the last two weeks. "People Skills" is an excellent resource for re-learning how to communicate effectively and how to invoke communication in those around you. After reading the first two chapters, I found myself unable to respond to other's comments for fear that I would fall into the "traps" of communication. But, as I proceeded through the remaining pages, I quickly learned valuable tips that have provoked continual review of my own communication tactics. Oddly enough, I'm now continually engulfed in conversations with my 14 year old son who sometimes I can't "turn him off" so that I can continue to study....I wouldn't trade these conversations for all of the "A" grades in the world!!!



4. The book People Skills by Dr. Robert Bolton was a tremendous asset to my reading list a few years ago. At first, the book felt like a tedious assignment, work that had to be done in order to pass a class. What I found out about myself when reading the book, however, was just how people-oriented I am not in my listening and communicating abilities. Dr. Bolton's book has had a vast impact on my personal. This critique will show just how much of an affect the book has had on me.
   
   Many examples could be given for how this book has influenced me personally. There were times when I was reading and saw examples that the author used which could have been taken directly from my life. Chapter two, "Barriers in Communication," was a part of the book that really hit home with me. I found myself looking over the words and seeing how I put up those very same walls around my own communication with others. It seems that everyone has issues in communication at times, but I realized that somehow I have trouble with "judging, sending solutions, and avoiding the other's concerns" (p. 17) quite often. The solutions to these problems the author gives are greatly appreciated on my end. Dr. Bolton gave practical instructions for help in the area. One way to learn how to deal with this issue was just to read a book on the topic of barriers itself. Having done that, the reader then beings to explore what changes he or she can make in order to adequately communicate with others.
   
   Another area in which the author wrote that I found helpful was the issue of active listening. Due to my undergraduate work in counseling and psychology, I have a good working knowledge of the subject matter. People Skills affirmed some of the techniques I am already familiar with, as well as gave me some new pointers for knowing how to listen actively. It was through these areas that the book greatly assisted me in being able to see just how well I communicate in my personal life.
   
   Dr. Bolton's book People Skills is a great work on the topic of interpersonal skills. As much as humans interrelate with each other, it would seem like people are pretty good at being able to convey feelings. On the contrary, it is not so, and thus the need for a book of this caliber. This book is highly recommended because of the way the author deals with the issues and does not shy away from telling people the best way to relearn how to communicate with others.
   
   People Skills should serve as a text for every class on the subject of interpersonal relationship skills. Anyone who wishes to learn more about the communication process would greatly benefit from having this book as a requirement. The book is an advantageous feat; one will profit much knowledge from reading the text. One of book's many strengths is that it is very readable and relatable. In my own life, I learned a lot about myself just by studying what the author says. If there are any weaknesses to the book, it is that there are points when the author writes with such detail that he looses the reader in the many examples he gives. Other than that, this book is fantastic and has greatly assisted me in my personal and ministerial life.



5. Although "People Skills" was first published in 1986, I feel obliged to review it as the principles and lessons espoused by Robert Bolton are timeless. In fact it is probably one of the most used books in my collection (I even have the paperback version covered in plastic and it's never far from my desk).
   
   "People Skills" is not a book that one sits down and reads from cover to cover. It's a book where you might read a chapter that relates to one of your underused skills (such as assertion) for your own development, or when you are faced with a difficult situation (such as managing a critical conflict). "People Skills" covers all the essential communication skills such as reflective listening, assertion and conflict management. Not only does Bolton provide the theory behind these skills, but he also gives short scenarios and great practical examples of how each can be applied.
   
   Described by the publisher as a "communication skills handbook", "People Skills" should be essential reading for every manager. In fact it should be the standard text for all "Management 101" courses and would add tremendously to the skill set of our younger generation by being used as a standard high school text. Don't be put off by this textbook description as it is highly readable and a must for all practising managers. Make sure you have a copy to refer to when next you are faced with that difficult "people" issue.
   
   Bob Selden What To Do When You Become The Boss: How new managers become successful managers