5 comments about The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby.

1. Very interesting way to find a name. I didn't like the names that went with my son's name but still very neat. I would definitely recommend this!



2. My wife and I are having our first child - and have looked at several name books - had I read this one first - I would not have bought another book -



3. I was disappointed with this book. She includes a lot of information ... but completely leaves out the meanings of names! I'd have to have yet another baby name book on hand to complete what this author leaves out. I would recommend Bruce Lansky's Five-Star Baby Name Advisor instead, because he has all the information Wattenberg includes (minus sibling-name suggestions) plus meaning and how likely the name is to be spelled or pronounced incorrectly. Those are all good things for a parent to consider! Also, I realize name opinions are subjective, but I found myself disagreeing with quite a few of this author's; she seems to miss some pretty obvious drawbacks or associations with certain names, and has odd taste in names that she thinks *should* be used more often (Edgar? Really??).



4. I gave this book as a gift to my best friend who expected her first child.
   She had so much fun going thru all the names.



5. This book is my favorite mom-to-be gift!
   What do you need in a baby name book? Sure, meanings can be fun and country of origin can help weed out certain things, but what we were most interested in was what connotations certain names bring to people.
   
   How popular is it? -- This book has charts that show you a name's popularity over the last 100 years.
   
   What other names are like it? -- This book groups names by era, sound group, and other associations. (What other book has groups like "Surfer Sixties" or "Timeless"?)
   
   What names will fit with the other names in your family? -- This book has "sibling names" for each name. This was a great jumping-off point for our baby name hunt. Frequently I liked a name, but my husband didn't, so I would look at the sibling names and eventually we found names - for all three kids - that we both love.
   
   What nicknames are common for this name? - This book suggests the good and the bad that may result from tagging your baby with a particular name.
   
   
   As a writer, I also use this book for name ideas for my characters, especially when I'm writing about an era other than now. When was a name most popular? When did a certain name come into use? It simply makes my stories ring a little more true.

5 comments about Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious.

1. I really like this book. I use it as a reference tool to give me practical real life examples of God's word in action. I like how I can look in the bible and read a scripture and then look at the same in "created to be his Help Meet" and see it put to practice. Thank you Debbie Pearl for your wisdom!



2. I don't necessarily agree with everything in this book, but overall it is a really great book- I wish I had read it before I got married- it would have made our early months SOOOOO much easier. I highly recommend it!



3. If you are a Christian wife, you need this book! The world has imparted much knowledge about what it means to be a wife - most of which is not Biblical. Debi Pearl shares what the Bible says about being a wife, gives plenty of real life examples, and backs it all up with scripture. This book is well written and when read with a prayerful and open heart, has the power to transform and save your marriage. Some of the things Debi has to say are tough to swallow, but that just reminds us of how far we have come from Biblical standards. As the Bible says, a wife can win her husband without a word. She can also transform him by obeying the Word of the Lord.
   
   I have shared this book with sisters and friends. It would be an incredible gift for a soon to be or new wife who could prevent many of the mistakes the rest of us have made. Wives can win back their husbands and children, strengthen their families, and show the world that wonderful marriages come from trusting in and obeying the Lord.



4. I would caution anyone writing a negative review of this book to check their own temperature and ask why am I so worked up??? I personally am wisely cautious about some of the advice that is somewhat based more in doctrinal interpretation than actual biblical interpretation. If you have to go to the KJV in order to get the right wording than perhaps you should be careful on your personal interpretation of old english.
   That said the proof is in the pudding now isn't it. Is she and her husband happily married and are their children??? Are people who follow their advice happier as a result. Is your way currently serving you well and is your husband happy, or constantly walking on eggshells to not set you off. I think most women and most marriages would be well served to take a look at this book.
   And I am sorry Ladies but if truth be known most divorces were birthed in our own bad additudes. Yes, there are some men out there that are just plain evil and that is addressed in this book to a very small degree. They have even advised women to turn their husbands in to the authorities.
   If you or your husband are less than happy in your marriage or even with life in general do read this. It is more about positive thinking, gratitude, and understanding the way God made men. A Marriage run as a 50/50 partnership is not very happy. A woman who cheerfully gives a decent man 100% is likely to get 150% in return. These are the biblical principals addressed and as with anything use common sense try it out and pray about it.



5. I read this book and really enjoyed it for all the good advice that I found. I have also read many of the reviews, both good and bad.
   
   First of all, there is some excellent advice in this book. You can argue that it is or is not Biblical but when it comes down to it - is it in the Bible or not? You can only change your perspective of a verse so much based on context - some of it just is the way it is no matter how you look at it. Just a thought!
   
   Also, I struggled with the fact that it seemed Debi was putting all the blame on the wives. It took me a while to figure out that Debi is talking ONLY to the women! She is not talking to the husbands - just the wives! If a women goes around and refuses to change anything or adjust anything until her husband changes first then there may be no change at all. I don't thing the Pearls are advocating that the husband is always right and wife always wrong. However, when talking only to the wives, what good would it do to spend time highlighting the faults of the husbands? Wouldn't that give wives freedom to say "well, I don't want to change myself until he changes too because he..." Debi did talk about this briefly saying something about the different things her husband would be saying if he were talking to men. If you read the book with this perspective, I think you will get much more out of it! It is pretty sad if we all go around hating the book because it doesn't punish the men while we hang on for dear life to the things we do wrong.

5 comments about Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity.

1. I just finished this book and what a Godsend. I found out my husband was having an emotional affair on March 31st of this year. An old high school girlfriend Googled him and they'd been talking for six months. He saw her in Feb. when he went to visit his brother for an ice fishing trip and they were planning on meeting in April for "more". About a month after he started talking to her I noticed he was distant, but thought it was because we'd just celebrated our 20th anniversary and things were getting old. Little did I know "she" entered the picture. On Jan. 1st I suspected he had a gf, but he called me crazy and paranoid. After reading this book so many things made sense and I was able to make sense of the mess my marriage had become.
   
   He claimed he never intended for things to get out of hand and they were "just friends"at first. He told her we were having problems and he put up a wall between us and opened the window for her (this is in the book). My H has always had such strong morals and good character. He badmouthed everyone we have ever known to cheat, but here he turned around and did the very same thing. Of all people I TRULY never thought he would do this.
   
   The only problem I had with the book is that the affair partner is talked about as being a single woman. In my case the other woman is married and has kids the same age as mine. She didn't plan on leaving her husband until her youngest was in college (in 5 years). She was ok with my husband meeting her 3 or 4 times per year until then. This woman is also a churchgoer, provides daycare in her home, prepares peoples taxes, lives in small town MN, was a soccer-mom, etc. I'm guessing she was bored and needed some excitement. Too bad she didn't realize that my husband made things sound so wonderful on the phone and online. Maybe if they lived with each other they would have realized that life is much more than what we can make the other believe.
   
   My husband and I are trying to get our marriage back on track, but it's so hard because he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. From reading the book I understand this is natural for the betraying partner, but I need to talk and figure this stuff out. I asked my husband this week to read two of the last few chapters hoping he will understand my point. How am I to have compassion for him, as discussed in the book, if he doesn't have much for me?



2. I never thought this would be me needing a book like this. My husband is not "the type" to have an affair, but he did. It blew my world apart. This book helped explain why it happened, how it was not because we had a bad marriage, how to recover, and it validated all the feelings and thoughts I was having. This book is truly amazing. Glass really left a gift for so many people in writing this book. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and SO HELPFUL.



3. I bought this book because my life partner stated repeatedly that the OP and he were "just friends." I wanted to believe him so I kept ignoring all the signs that Dr. Glass discusses. Dr. Glass was relevant and insightful. The book is 425 pages but is a read quick. Before I discovered that my life partner was having an affair and that my best girl friend's husband was having an affair, I had no idea how rampant infidelity is. "Good people in good marriages are having affairs." Its amazing how our society condones the easy thing ---an affair. I wished that I would have known about "safe friendships" before all this happened. Dr. Glass does not have time to talk about recovering and healing adequately on your own. However, Dr. Glass does have other books that would probably be helpful. Her chapter regarding questions to ask after affair will be helpful once I am able to communicate with unfaithful one.



4. Unfortunately, I have to say this book amazingly accurate, I'd compare it to my journal if ever I had written one. Sometimes its funny, sometimes its nice to know Im not the only one, and sometimes I feel as if Dr. Glass were spying on me, too close for comfort. Its definitely a book I'd recommend whether you've had relationship problems or not, its a book everyone needs to read.



5. I am in my mid 20's and found out that my husband had a 4 month affair in which his lover supposedly became pregnant with his child but ended up having an abortion. I found out about the whole thing 5 months later when her husband tracked me down at work to tell me. Let me just say that I was more than shocked. I plowed through all the chapters of this book (with exception of the forgiveness section...I am just not ready to read that yet). I am an avid reader and I found this easy to read. Many of the situations apply to people that have been married for quite a while and are older but the author did cover many types of affairs, reactions, emotions, etc that would apply to anyone wounded by any type of extra-maritial relationship. My husband (the cheater) has been slower to read it but does like how the book uses stories and facts and ties them together well. It hasn't replaced therapy (couples and individual for him) but it was a good jumping off point in terms of my sanity.

4 comments about A Grandparent's Legacy: Your Life Story in Your Own Words.

1. I can't wait for my mom to get started, in this day and age it seems to me that we never spend enough time talking to our parents about their lives before we came along.. I learn new things about my mom constantly ! This give me a way to learn and save this information for my son!



2. I just got this book along with a Mothers Legacy, and a Fathers Legacy. I think these three books are the best things I have bought all year long. I just wished that my grandmother was alive to have done one of these for me. When we are young we do not understand how wonderful grandparents are, and all the information they carry in their minds. This book has a way of getting all of that information out. Simple questions it ask as "what did your family do for family gatherings for Christmas?", "where did you meet grandpa/grandma?" Just questions people seem to never ask until its to late. You have heard of "baby books" well this is just like a baby book but for grandparents. While your at it check out the other two books also. I promise you won't be sad that you did!! One will only wonder "WHY DIDNT I BUY MORE?".
   aloha



3. This is the best book ever!!! My grandmother is 97 years young and she still has such an awesome memory, she was as excited to fill in the book as I was to give it to her! I can't wait to get it back.



4. (review written by Nick's wife) I came across these memory books in a parenting magazine and loved the idea of having my children's grandparents fill them out. I even bought some for my grandparents to fill out for me.
   
   After searching through everything Amazon has to offer, I ended up purchasing a variety of books. I chose Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, Tell Me Your Memories, A Grandparent's Legacy and Memories for My Grandchild.
   
   A Grandparent's Legacy is probably my favorite of the books I purchased. It is laid out month-by-month with topics to discuss. The book measures 8" x 5" with a nice covered spiral binding and is about .75" thick. Each page has topics to discuss and lines for writing.
   
   I was slightly disappointed in all the Tell Me Your Memory books. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I really didn't think they would all be the same with a different cover page as they are. I was really disappointed in the size of the books. They are 4" x 5.5" with a 1" spiral binding. Each is about 1" thick. It is laid out for a full calendar year - each day having a different question or memory for the person do write about. The pages have a question at the top and are blank (no lines) below.
   
   Memories for My Grandchild has the most flexible layout - meaning there is no guide for filling things out at a certain time. It is also the largest book, measuring about 8" x 10" and just less than 1" thick. It has a covered spiral binding. This is the only book with a pocket in the back to drop in any special items and a pull-out page to fill in the family tree. The pages in this book are lined as well.
   
   The books all cover similar questions and memories. I haven't gone page-by-page to compare, but have been pleased with what I've seen so far. Since the books are so similar, I'm basing my overall opinion on the appearance and friendliness of the layout.

5 comments about The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood.

1. When my lovely daughter recently started going to sleep at 12am instead of 10pm like she did for the first three months of her life I phoned our doctor and she recommended this book. I got this version because it included infancy through toddlerhood and figured it would be good for later too. Now since we have started using it our dear baby girl has been sleeping through the night, in her own crib, in her very own room! The only issue I have is that they go through the intro stuff so fast that it doesn't seem to be explained very well. I still have lots and lots of questions that aren't really being answered from this book but had a feeling they were in her first book (designed for younger babies). So I bought the first book too. But all in all if your in the market to help your baby sleep through the night, this book is helpful, but you have to follow the plans (except you can tweak a little once you get the hang of it).
   Also some of what is says is impossible to do unless you have a nanny or child care helper in your home with you, so my advise is adapt her theories to best that you can for your lifestyle and try not to beat yourself up if you can't follow it to the letter, once i figured that out it made my life so much easier.



2. This book is filled with great ideas and suggestions!
   Apparently raising a baby should be fun and easy; Who knew!!!!
   Tracy Hogg simplifies child rearing to its absolute basics, so if you are still suffering from post baby brain loss it still makes sense.
   An absolute must read for before you have your baby and for the 'quiet' weeks that follow.



3. This book changed my life overnight - and the lives of my baby and husband! No book is perfect, each of our situations is different, but I was totally desperate to find a solution to sleep problems, and I saw a huge improvement after only one day of practicing the methods in this book. I know it will still take some time, but I am amazed.



4. Simply put, this book makes matters worse! We used the pick up/put down technique to try to help our daughter sleep better when she was 5 months old and she cried terribly, we slept LESS in the process, and the worst part of it was that she lost trust in us which took weeks to earn back. I would highly recommend NOT even opening this book, unless you are looking for a very stressful and traumatic experience and want to break the bond you have with your child. Try Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution and you will sleep, without trauma, all while keeping the trust in your relationship alive.



5. My feelings are very strong about this book. I believe this book, recommended by a another mom/friend of mine, saved my sanity and kept my cool during my motherhood of 3.5 years and 2 kids.
   
   I have read other major sleep/baby care books such as No-cry sleep solution; Babywise; Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child as well.
   
   This book's basis is the same with all the books above. Whatever you do in the name of parenting, first see/ hear /observe your child, then try to understand what your child needs, respect and respond appropriately. Also it emphasizes daily routine as other books.
   
   How BW sets itself apart from all the other books is the organized and step by step directions it gives. She tells you exactly what to do and when to do. Not only that, but she also gives different advise and directions for different type of baby/child personalities. So you don't push your "grumpy baby" or take your "angel baby" for granted. She gives trouble shooting lists, if things don't work.
   
   I found this book very easy to read (my son was around 2-months old and I barely had any brain function left due to lack of sleep). I thought every advise she gave was sensible. She provides many tips and tricks so that the transition period will include minimal crying.
   
   With her help, I was able to put my son in a routine right ahead. At three months, we would put him to bed at 7 pm and he would sleep until 7 am straight. She gives the best advise or trick about sleep among all parenting books. "Tanking or Dream Feed." This idea is a miracle. I am a person who functions only after 8 hours of proper sleep. I cannot sleep on my back or side. I have to be facing down. And I always get scared of falling a sleep while nursing lying on the bed. Dream Feed was the solution to both my and my sons issues. He was fed, I got my sleep. So whe the morning came we still loved each other, more than ever. My husband was able to do one of the dream feeds because we would be prepared.
   
   At four months, defiant to my grandmother who was rocking my son to sleep, I locked myself, my son and my husband in the room. I soothed him, put him to his bed, patted his back and sang lullabies. 10 mins of fussing and crying he was off to deep sleep. The lucky-for-me part was my son was ready for this, because it would take him an hour to fall asleep with rocking. My grandmother was convinced I was doing the right thing without hurting (crying him out) him.
   
   He's 3.5 years-old and he almost always goes to bed with a usual brushing teeth, singing or book routine. He falls a sleep by himself. He has not woken in the middle of the night since he was 3 months old except for few sickness, teething and developmental milestones.
   
   I have also used her advice with my daughter. Their personalities are different, but the premise was the same. My daughter, who is going to be 1 in a week also can go to sleep by herself and sleeps through the night. One difference was, she woke up once at 4 am until she was 8-months old despite how much I fed her. I did not really force her not to wake up or let her cry after few nights. I realized she is a different child. She really needed that morning feeding (or hugging the mom) until she woke up around 7-8 am.
   
   I also used EC, which she has a chapter on (potty training). I had hard time potty training my son at 3. He still poos in a diaper. So I decided not to let this drag 3 more years with my daughter. We "observed" her signs for potty, as we kept an eye on her sleepy signs. She has been doing her business in the toilet or potty since she is 6 months old. Tracy Hogg's potty training recommends starting around 9 months old. Either way, keep an open mind when reading this chapter. If you think your child gives signs when he's going to go potty, do not ignore it for his early age.
   
   As with all the books about parenting, of course my intent is to read, and try to apply the ways that fit my parenting style. I do not take every single word as a rule written on stone. You do not have to agree on all counts. But my bottom line is: this is the book that you really need to read to be equipped properly, if you are planning for an easy breezy parenthood.

5 comments about Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

1. Buy it, for the children. Before, in the words of Neville Chamberlain, we have "grease in our time".
   
   Do it for the children.
   
   And one-star guy can felate a mailbox.



2. I try to spread the gospel of www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com (the author's website) as much as possible. The book is hilarious, but also seeks to educate the reader on a disturbing trend in America and the world. Namely the transformation of men into douchebags in their quest to obtain the hotties. At only around $12 on Amazon it makes a great coffee book and conversation piece, plus its highly entertaining.



3. I have to admit that when I heard this book was coming out, I had my doubts about the quality. I was a big fan of the site, but honestly, what could the author add to the pictures that were already available online?
   This volume, however, was a very pleasant surprise, and let me assure you that yes, it is well worth buying, even (or especially?) if you are a fan of the site.
   
   The author weaves a funny yet quite insightful and intelligent narrative throughout this text, and while there is plenty of humor, there are a number of astute sociological observations that give it added depth. Make no mistake, this is not a scholarly work, but the elegant and polished prose with which the author presents an admittedly low-brow subject is refreshing. And hey, he mentions Lacan!
   
   The pictures are, of course, the main draw here, and they do not disappoint. The wide variety of subjects is as hilarious as it is depressing, and is very well organized and presented. Definitely a worthy read!



4. As noted, the author didn't shoot the photos himself; they were all lifted off the Internet. And the text to this book is absolutely painful. The author crowds paragraphs around each photo with variations on the word "douchery," and the laughs stop after about twenty pages. Worst of all, the author admits (in the final chapter) that the cover photo was staged by professional models. How many other of the "zany" snapshots in this compilation were actually posed and fabricated? There's a fishy smell about this book, and it's not the pleasant one the author keeps mentioning.



5. Dr. Jay Louis is clearly one of the world's premiere anthrodouchologists, producing here a work that will remain one of the cornerstones of modern social science for millennia to come. Tying together our Cro-'Bagnon roots, the Bhagavad Gita, Moby Dick, Joseph Conrad's Heart of Doucheness, New Kids on the Block, and the proliferation of super-premium vodka, Dr. Louis functions both as therapist for all societies everywhere looking to heal themselves, and also as an epidemiologist warning us of a plague that may have no end in sight, leaving no man's daughter unBleethed.
   
   This work could not be more timely, as we rebuild our tattered financial system, rend asunder an increasingly corrupt healthcare industry, and finally attempt a process of de-douchification in New Jersey. Dr. Louis' greatness is truly meant for such an era of rampant scrote. Obama should make a cabinet position for him immediately: The Douche Czar.

5 comments about Don't Make Me Count to Three: a Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline.

1. This book is the best parenting book I've read...it combines the reality of imperfect mothers with the awesome responsibility and priviledge we have to raise our children so that they love and honor God.
   
   Yes, it's directed at Christians, and it hits right where it should: sound biblical direction and applications for everyday problems.
   
   More than anything, it encouraged me to study the wisdom of the bible for myself, so that I can model and pass that on to my son and future children.
   
   This will be my parenting philosophy from now on, and this book will be my handbook, second only to the bible!



2. This book has been an answered prayer. The concepts are clear but a lot of work. My kids are worth the investment and I am encouraged by the results so far.



3. This book has helped me a lot to deal with my child. Contrary to what some will say, the author does not recommend spanking for everything. There are times when it is necessary. A great book for everybody, Christians and non-Christians!



4. This book was a life saver for me. I have three young children and I times feel lost on not just how to discipline them, but how to train their little hearts in the way of the Lord. This book has many wonderful scripture references to give all of us moms confidence. That this wonderful call of motherhood is a great job indeed & we can do it, the way God has entrusted us to.



5. Plowman does an excellent job of explaining how to use scripture to teach and guide your children. She gives everyday examples that make it very clear and practical. I have found that speaking scripture to my children is a very liberating way of disciplining them. God has already given me wonderful truths to speak to them and plant in their hearts. Since I don't have to come up with my own words "in the heat of the moment," I find myself more calm and patient as I teach them.
   
   At the same time, this book has actually reinforced my belief that I should not spank my kids. Plowman discusses "biblical" spanking (as chastisement, when God's will has been violated) and when it is inappropriate (your will has been violated and you're angry). Honestly, I am unable to spank without feeling angry -- that action just does not match a calm and restrained demeanor. And I don't think it's a lack of faith on my part. I am not a biblical literalist and I believe there are other ways to apply "the rod" of discipline than actually hitting my children.
   
   I agree with Plowman that my job is to point my children to Christ by helping them see their sin and discovering God's mercy. I agree that I fail my kids if I tell them what not to do without giving them the truth about what God wants them to do. My children have responded to this and are more loving and obedient -- without spanking.

5 comments about The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book.

1. This book is really right on. It shows you how to apply The Four Agreements to any relationship. It's very enlightening and written in an easy to understand fashion. The audio version of this book is great too.



2. A great read every time and excellent when read in conjunction with The Four Agreements.



3. Don Miguel Ruiz's Mastery of Love is a must read for anyone who is looking to apply Toltec wisdom to their relationships. I rank this right up there with the Castaneda tradition.



4. This small, simple little book is filled with an abundance of insightful life lessons that can direct you onto the path of living a spiritually rich life. "The Mastery of Love", by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a practical guide on the art of forming a relationship. From Ruiz's perspective, relationship building is indeed an art form.
   
   Ruiz divides his spiritual journey into three different areas of emotional awareness. The first is the `Mastery of Awareness', whereby he looks at relationship from the perspective of freedom. He suggests that relationship can only thrive and develop through a sense of freedom and truth. The second is the `Mastery of Transformation' , in which the author encourages the development of spiritual awareness. Finally, the author examines the `Mastery of Love' suggesting that the road to true happiness and truthful expression of the mind, body, and soul is the expression of love. As the author delves into each of the three major tenants of his approach, it becomes clear that love and relating to one another can be a simple journey of self awareness and the willingness to embrace love.
   
   The spiritual journey in this book reminds me of my favorite authors on the topic of pursuing happiness and self expression. Ariel and Shya Kanes' book "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: The 3 Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life" is an incredible book dedicated to pursuing a fulfilling and meaningful life through awareness and transformation. I have taken their workshops in New York City. Their approach has truly shifted the qualitative experience in my life and how I interact within all of my relationships. You can check out their books and workshops on Transformationmadeeasy.com
   
   I suggest you check out the books by Ruiz and the Kanes and read them back to back! Both will help enrich and enliven the way you interact with life and with other people!



5. I think The Mastery of Love is an extremely important contribution to partners and parents. I like to listen to Miguel Ruiz's work (this book and the Four Agreements) on audiobook because they are short and to the point. I enjoy discovering new tips each time I hear it.
   
   As I was listening to Mastery of Love, I realized that pure and unconditonal love was so simple to attain, yet I do not know a single person or couple who loves this completely. We all have implants of shame, guilt, criticism and other manipulations attached to our love.
   
   Learning this for ourselves will not only improve our relationships with our partners, we will teach our children how to love themselves first and it will be reflected back to them for their entire lives. It is time to change the fear-based ideology we call "love" and tap into the well-being and peace that comes naturally from within. This book is a fantastic starting point.
   
   It reminds me of this quote, "Even after all this time, the sun never says to the Earth, 'you owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that: It lights the whole sky." This is the kind of love you are working toward when you start studying The Mastery of Love. Best wishes!

5 comments about Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives.

1. In what may be one of the best books ever on functional parenting, Mellody and the Millers have tackled the single most common psychiatric phenomenon of our time, deconstructed it into language most can grasp, and set forth a means of re-parenting those who didn't get the real deal the first time around.
   
   For mental health professionals, this may also be one of the best books available for patient (with sufficient ego strength) and/or family education on Kernberg / Preston Level One and Two Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as for family education with regard to pretty much the entire spectrum of borderline, narcissistic, passive-aggressive and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.
   
   I have read at least a dozen lay and professional books addressing the topic of "codependence." While Melody Beattie's and Patricia Evan's work, and the -Codependents Anonymous- and new -Adult Children of Alcoholics- "big books" -are- terrific stuff, this looks like the most accessible, research-grounded, well-organized and tool-delivering of the lot. (Anyone seriously set upon recovering from boundary difficulties with others is well-advised to just read them all, of course.)
   
   Owing to the input of the Millers, -Facing Codependence- is more a product of modern "patient education" or "psychoeducation" theory (see Rankin's and Stallings's -Patient Education- or any of the books in the "Compact Clinicals" series) than the other books currently available. This is not the hodgepodge of useful data developed by committee in the two afforementioned 12 Step groups, and is more functionally set forth in the fashion of Lev Vygotsky's "scaffolding" than Beattie's more famous or Evans's more narrowly targeted books.
   
   Beyond that, the progressive, level-upon-level organization of the book and concrete examples of both functional and dysfunctional parenting make it hands-down one of the finest guides to raising effective, pathology-free children ever published. If it were up to me, this would be required reading at the college freshman level.



2. I have read a dozen books on the subject. For me, this was the first semi-clinical book which explored how codependency is not only behavior inherited but can also be passed on down to the next generation, even coming from a parent with the best intentions completely unaware of the problem. The author has a deep awareness of the problem's subtleties and this is certainly one of the pioneer books that should be in every library concerning codependency.



3. Mellody and her coauthors, to the enduring benefit of the practice of psychology, do their part to rescue the technique of digging through the past from its Freudian fixation on Oedipus.
   
   Using a working definition of childhood "abuse" as any behavior by caregivers that is "less than nurturing," she relentlessly and in gruesome detail disects the roots of dysfunctional adulthood dependencies.
   
   I agree with the reviewer who complained that the term "codependence" has become too much of a catch-all. Having a prefix indicating "two," that word is better reserved for particular kinds of dysfunctional relationships.
   
   That said, this book succeeds brilliantly at its task. Which is to allow individual readers to face up to exactly where the unhealthy dependencies in our lives come from. Which in adulthood result, not just in codependent (instead of "interdependent") relationships, but in a myriad of perplexing issues that sabotage our lives.
   
   A classic from the pioneer who originated the concept of "boundaries" in psychology. Get ready to embrace your demons.



4. This is the best book on Co-dependence I have ever read. And I have read a few. And Pia Melody does it without any put downs. Co-Dependence is not something you can choose or not choose to do. It is a result of things that have been done to you. And you cannot begin to conquer it until you fully understand what happened to you. This Pia Melody does with such insight and understanding solely because she lived it. If you or someone you know is dealing with co-dependency (and most of us are) do them a favor and tell them to get this book!



5. This is one of the best books on codependence. Read it and your life will change.

5 comments about Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence.

1. There's so much good in here, but Wiseman's naivete on the normality of fatness gets in the way of this being an entirely safe or sanity-promoting book. It's simply normal for some women and girls to be "overweight". There's no evidence anywhere that fat people "eat their problems" (to use the naive phrase from "Mean Girls") any more than thinner people. Some of us are genetically destined to be at the top of the weight bell curve. It's great that Wiseman recommends The Beauty Myth, for instance, but I wonder if she actually read it. Or The Dieters Dilemma. Or The Obesity Myth. Or Losing It. Or any of the other books in the fat acceptance/health at every size canon.
   
   Perpetuating the old fat-people-are-gluttons myth simply is no longer acceptable or scientifically accurate. Reading this book and projecting its messages on to young fat girls is potentially as dangerous as any other form of bullying Wiseman describes.
   
   Maybe someday she'll correct this major flaw in a future edition?



2. If you have a daughter currently in middle school, this is a must read before high school!



3. This book does a beautiful job of painting a picture of the unique culture of girl bullying and teasing. Alot to be learned. Every parent with a daughter should read this book. Additionally, I recommend highlyBully-Proofing Children: A Practical, Hands-On Guide to Stop Bullying which gives so many strategies...both proactive and for intervention on how to deal with this ever pervasive topic.



4. I'm a former high school teacher and I think this book accurately depicts the challenges of adolescent (and pre-adolescent) girls. I've ordered it for my nephew and neice to use as a longer-term guide since their oldest daughter just turned 12.



5. I had high hopes for this book after reading the reviews, but it didn't cover my daughter's problem. What about the girl who isn't a part of any clique? The one that other girls call wierd or strange because she doesn't dress like they do, or has achne, or whatever else they decide is not like them. Surely some of those hundreds of girls she talked to had this problem. So, why the exclusion... yet again???