5 comments about Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life.

1. In her breakthrough book, Final Gifts, hospice nurse Maggie Callanan and co-author Patricia Kelley explored the "nearing death awareness" of last days. That book continues to be for many readers a revelation of what last moments may be like. Final Journeys takes a longer view, becoming a travelers' guide for living from the diagnosis of a terminal illness through to nearing death awareness and on to the last breath.
   
   Like the author herself, Final Journeys is intensely practical and straightforward, flashed with humor and warmed by an all-pervasive empathy. A sampling of chapter titles hints of honest looks at difficult questions: "Don't Tell Mom She's Dying. It'll Kill Her!"; "Choosing Treatments--and Knowing Which Are Optional"; "`We Can't Just Let Him Starve to Death!': Deciding About Artificial Nutrition"; "Finding Power in a Powerless Situation"; "I Love You, Mom, and I Want to Help, but I'm Not Moving to Miami!"
   
   From recognizing what's fixable and what's not...understanding when not to call 911...talking to the children...dealing with the out-of-town family member who swoops in ready to take charge...to an explanation of the Medicare hospice benefit and the dying person's Bill of Rights--what Callanan does is make the unthinkable manageable.
   
   Who is this book for? For everyone who will one day die and wants to be as ready as possible. For anyone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and for the family members and friends of that person who wonder what to expect and how to cope. For anyone who thinks calling hospice is equivalent to "giving up." For every public library (I have already suggested that my library order two). For hospice and palliative care volunteers.
   
   Readers who have been enthusiastic about Final Gifts--and who isn't?--will welcome this companion work, which seems bound to become a classic alongside its sister title.
   
   Nancy Evans Bush, MA
   Vice President and Chair of Publications
   International Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc.



2. Of all the stages in life, that of dying appears to be the most difficult: emotions run high, tempers flare, accusations fly, tears flow all the time, or is that just my family? Seriously, it can be such a chaotic and emotional time that I think it is very easy to lose track of what can be most important: understanding the dying person's process, and coming to terms with that process.
   
   I read Ms. Callanan's first book, Final Gifts, several years ago and it gave me great insight into how I could better relate to someone who is dying. In this book she really addresses the dying process from the side of the caregiver, and I couldn't thank her more. I read this as my own father was dying and I think I used something from every chapter to help my father pass a little more comfortably, and to help keep my family and me from going crazy with stress.
   
   I would encourage people to read this book. Even if you don't know someone who is dying, you never know when this sort of info will turn out to be needed. God bless.



3. Along with her first book, "Final Gifts", this latest work is required reading for anyone - and there are many, many of us out there - facing the issue of elder-care and the loss of a partner or loved one. There is a certain sensitivity in "Final Journeys" that is important and based on the author's years of work as a nurse in Hospice. Important book to read.



4. When dealing with end-of-life issues, many people have found Maggie Callanan's (co-authored) book, Final Gifts, to be both comforting and inspirational. She has now followed up with its "prequel," Final Journeys. As before, Callanan combines a wealth of practical experience in Hospice nursing with her own remarkable blend of compassion and humor. Anyone who faces the passing of a loved one really must read this book; anyone consciously facing their own passing will hope that Callanan - or her clone! - can attend them at the end.
   
   One of the most useful aspects is her description of symptoms of the end of life that are typical, yet which we might not recognize and respect for what they are. As the author makes clear, there is no one path for the final journey, and it behooves those nearby to recognize and respect the style of their loved one. For example, in an attempt to "be there for them" it is possible to tire the patient with too much attention, as they are attempting to rest and "wind down." Equally, it is necessary to recognize when they may need to see a certain person in order to accomplish the task of closure and resolving "unfinished business" with that person. It is necessary to listen closely to the patient without one's preconceived notions intervening. Spiritual, dietary, and companionship needs vary widely depending on the patient; it's truly not "one size fits all."
   
   Callanan defines a problem that I and perhaps many of us have experienced: the feeling that your loved ones will find it terribly sad, almost impossible, to go on with their lives without us when we die. Apparently in many cases, one important task of the caregivers is to give the patient permission to go, assuring them that we will be all right afterwards, while acknowledging the closeness of the bond between us.
   
   Callanan is so remarkable in her ability to convey her experiences and feelings through stories that you will be completely engaged throughout this book with a renewed appreciation of her humanistic approach to nursing. Her caring approach to both the patient and the family rescues some potentially explosive situations with people you come to care about through her descriptions. And if you can read Chapter 35 without shedding a few tears, you really need to have your DNA checked out to make sure you're really human!



5. An outstanding source of information and support for the elderly, their caregivers, and family members ... what to expect and how to cope physically and emotionally at every stage of dying. There's also lots of practical information about advance directives, benefits, and resources. In my aunt's final years, I benefitted from neighbor and hospice nurse Maggie Callanan's personal guidance. Now her book is available to help everyone. I highly recommend it.

5 comments about Jo Frost's Confident Baby Care: What You Need to Know for the First Year from America's Most Trusted Nanny.

1. I read a lot of baby books. I am a Postpartum Doula and like to keep up on new literature. I really found nothing new or special that would set this book apart from others. There are a lot better written books for the new mom out there.



2. I was very disappointed in this book. For one there were several typos. Also her views on breastfeeding aren't very accurate. I think she is a great nanny but she hasn't been a Mom and that is very evident in this book.



3. I'm having my first baby in two months so I've been reading quite a bit of books. Got this book and read it maybe half way there, nothing was interesting enough to keep reading it. It's not a bad book it's just not good. There are a ton of better books out there, skip this one if you can.



4. I gifted this book to my sister, Aimee' (first time mom), and not only did it arrive the next day when I only paid for regular shipping, but it made all of baby's sleeping problems go away. Aimee' can now sleep through the night EVERY night. Using techniques in this book is like taking a sleeping pill... definitely a good thing for any mom out there!



5. I liked the way this book was organized, and found the illustrations useful. Joe Frost's no-nonsense approach to child care makes her a favorite in this family, and I gave her book to my daughter who is expecting her first child in December.

5 comments about The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship with Money.

1. This book is worth the price for several different reasons. First, the style is sympathetic, and most people reading this book do not want to have an author shaking a finger at them for their financial living styles. Second, the use of Dickens' famous short story as a lesson outline is not only clever, but also very easy to relate to. Although everyone knows that the miser gets turned around in the end of the story, few have likely stopped to notice that old Scrooge had to go through several stages to realize his money pathology. Also, the book points out that Scrooge was an eager student! The third is that the book is not overly long, and the story flow makes the reader want to keep going, even though we kind of know what is likely to happen in the next chapter.
   
   The author's personal twist near the conclusion is endearing, and of course will not be given away here. It can be a good thing to know that the authors and consultants have had difficult times also. The only example/actual character that sounded less credible, though, was that single woman who earned a quarter million dollars a year, but somehow could never save any money. Yikes! Nobody most of us know.
   
   The general wisdoms in this book are not all that unpredictable. Most have to do with "you are not your money," "it's the LOVE of money that's not good," "you don't escape most problems by getting more net worth," and so forth. True, and always worthwhile being reminded of such. A personal view: too much time spent on the generality of these admittedly good thoughts, not enough numbers thrown in. A good example is the statement (recently found by some uncredited survey, I think) in the middle of "Scrooge" that people usually are better off getting to about $50K annual income; after that, increased happiness doesn't come in the nearly the proportion that increases in net worth do. Probably true, and things like this probably should have been forcefully mentioned a number of times. Readers like to hitch onto tangible, named amounts. Still, it WAS mentioned, and the clever reader will find the passage. A good buy.



2. Enlightening regarding the way you view money and how this affects so many other areas of your life. The impact of early script imprinting and its affect on your adult life is both fascinating and helpful.



3. I started reading "The Financial Wisdom of Ebeneezer Scrooge" expecting to see financial "ghosts" of past, present and future. I wasn't disappointed. What I didn't expect to see was financial failures of Bob Crachit. So I was pleasantly surprised to see that in spite of our perrenial wink and nod associated with the poor among us, The "Bob's" do bear some responsibility to be educated about their situation.
   
   The book seems to be practical in its application of conservative financial wisdom. I say "seems to be" because it's up to me to apply the tools. I think I can, I think I can...



4. This is one of the most clever approaches to helping people find their way to financial freedom. I have read many many books on personal finance and it has always confounded me as to why more people don't take an interest in their financial future. This book shows how mind traps that were set in youth can keep people from making the right financial choices. The authors talk about "money scripts" that people carry with them and that influence their money behavior. The authors cleverly use the story of Ebenezer Scrooge and Bob Cratchit showing what their money scripts might have been and how those scripts influenced their behaviors in A Christmas Carol. The exercises are excellent. It took me a while but I eventually identified some of my own money scripts. Frankly, this method could be used to help identify life scripts that keep us from achieving our ultimate potential as well.
   
   The authors come through as genuinely wanting to help their readers. I have read books that were promoted as self-help financial books but in the end were books to promote an author's seminars rather than providing sound advice and help.
   
   I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to start today to shape a better financial future for themselves and their families.



5. I suggest that my psychotherapy clients read this book. Many of my clients, who are mostly affluent professionals, have underlying issues which get played out in the financial arena.
   
   I wish I could have written this book. It is very user friendly and motivates the reader to do the exercises at the end of each chapter. Many clients recognize that they identify with Ebenzer at times and Bob at other times. Thanks for writing this book!

5 comments about Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage.

1. Jenny Block should be recognized, especially with this work, as not only a voice for open relationships, but also as a voice for society and what it means to love, and to do so without judgement. This book is far more than a "how to" guide for getting your partner to have a threesome. No, it is a practical guide and, in essence, a diary of Jenny's own struggles and emotional roller coaster throughout her life and the struggles of being a woman in the 21st century and being in an open marriage in the process, and all the judgements and stereotypical connotations that goes along with it. I think Jenny should be applauded for her efforts in shining a light on and being an almost spokesperson for people who have alternate lifetyles. With a graceful, descriptive, and almost unwavering voice, she lets you know the intracacies and ins and outs that go into an open relationship without perverting it with explicit details. Coming from someone who is in the infancy stages of an open relationship, I can tell you that it was more than a relief to find this book. In a world filled with judgement, fear, and hatred, to have someone like Jenny putting her name on the line for so many, is a rare commodity these days. I thank Jenny for writing this book, and I will continue to reference it as my own questions about my relationship arise. Bravo Jenny.



2. In this heartfelt book, the author elaborates at length on some of the difficulties and contradictions of conventional, monogamous marriage and the solutions that an open marriage provided for her and her husband. A factor in the appeal of the book is that the author is not "far out"; she is basically the girl-next-door.
   
   Strictly monogamous marriages based on love have become widespread only in modern times. That development has placed considerable pressure on marital partners to meet the many needs of their partners throughout a lifetime - an impossibility for many. Sexual roles for young females are confusing: how are they to be both seductive and virginal or upon being wed to abruptly lose interest in men after being encouraged to play the field. These difficulties and contradictions give some understanding to the high divorce rates and widespread infidelity prevalent in our society.
   
   The author, as do most women, fell sway to the notion that there is one perfect man for her, which would then permit her to enter the state of house wifedom and motherhood - a rather sexless state to be sure. But after marriage, her interest in others did not diminish, nor did her love for her husband. An affair gone awry forced her to persuade her husband to try an open marriage. After various forays with different partners, her marriage has stabilized with her acquiring an exclusive girlfriend and her husband remaining monogamous.
   
   The author readily admits that establishing and maintaining a successful open marriage takes considerable effort. Virtual total honesty is required of both partners, as well as emotional maturity, feelings of security, and coping with inevitable jealously. She fittingly refers to her husband as an "egoless man." It certainly would have been interesting for the author to comment on whether men or women are more tolerant of open marriages. Is there any truth to "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" or taking a backseat to another woman? Actually, the author admits to feelings of jealousy early on in their arrangement. Perhaps not insignificantly, her husband is not sharing her with another man.
   
   The book does leave unaddressed any number of questions. She claims that her stronger libido is the primary basis for her need for more partners, although she has shifted more to a desire for another relationship. One wonders if this is not really more a case of marital mismatch than a basis for an open marriage. She does not really deal with the issue of actively seeking other partners, perhaps online, versus more inadvertent meetings. Being thirty-something, how will this or a similar arrangement be working at age sixty-five? Also, her young daughter seems to be largely unaware of her marital arrangements, but obviously there is some potential for problems. And there are legal issues. Common law spouses do have legal rights, but how do the courts deal with both a legal spouse and an alternative spouse? Her repeated reference to the lack of any biological basis for monogamy is unnecessary. The question is there a sociological basis for monogamy beyond the expected moralistic reaction?
   
   The book is an interesting look at alternative marriages. Married partners do meet other people where there may be considerable attraction. Can or should marriages honestly accommodate such. What we have now is rampant dishonesty.



3. This book does an excellent job of weaving Jenny Block's personal journey and an overview of the arguments for and over open marriage. Although I suspect women might find more in it than men -- it is written, after all, from the women's perspective -- I recommend it to men, who will come away with a better understanding of the possibilities.



4. Jenny does a wonderful job of articulating seemingly every facet of the journey a person makes to open relationships. I wish everyone would read this book - even those that don't want to have an open relationship can at least come to a much better understanding of those that do. But for those that are "open" to the idea, this book presents a very compelling case for a higher-level of happiness, and is therapy for those needing help over personal hurdles.



5. "Being sexually incompatible is no one's fault, but that doesn't make it any less of an issue," writes Jenny Block in this memoir of how she and her husband Christopher came to the decision to open their own marriage. This book is more than just a heartfelt memoir, but also an investigation of monogamy itself (and why it so often fails). Jenny Block also explores the dilemma of women in relationships and the schizophrenic expectations that a woman can be wild, free, and uninhibited in bed, while at the same time be that perfect demure wife and mother.
   
   For most couples, the sexual incompatibility, Jenny's bisexuality, and her previous affair coupled with the desire to have other partners openly might spell doom for the marriage, but Jenny and Christopher bravely find that the relationship and marriage, with all its good aspects, is worth preserving and look for a way to make it work without deferring to socially acceptable norms. What they find is that relationships do not have to be an all or nothing arrangement, but that they can share a deep, meaningful relationship with each other while other relationships meet other needs.
   
   Jenny Block provides advice in the final chapters on how couples might go about opening up their own relationships, and although she doesn't provide a particular model that a relationship has to take, she offers up good guidelines for how to move toward an open marriage based on her own experiences, although a more comprehensive guide to designing an open relationship would be Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. I recommend this book to anyone tired of reading about and struggling to build the perfect monogamous relationship. Even if you remain monogamous it is freeing to realize that there is no one relationship standard to aspire to.

5 comments about And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

1. I heard about this book in a marriage prep class at college. The information is highly valuable and pertinent to both men and women. The book teaches that sex is ordained of god. It will remove sex inhibitions and revitalize.



2. I haven't finished the book yet, but have liked what I've read so far--it has particularly changed my view of how early and how to present my children with an accurate and positive understanding of sex. O'm looking forward to reading that chapter specifically.



3. This book should be read by every married couple and couples thinking of getting married. It has a very open approach to how important a good sexual relationship is in a marriage and how by not having this how it can cause so many problems in the marriage. It gives you homework every chapter to help you achieve a oneness in a marriage that I never thought would be possible.
   
   I highly recommend this book!



4. I've been married for nine years now and I found this book to be a fabulous tool to take the drudgery out of sex. It gave me a healthier, more inspired view of it and it's been great for our marriage. I just need to keep it up!



5. This book did a great job of expressing new ideas on how to create/enhance emotional and physical relationships in marriage. The author looks at potential issues from both spouses point of view (male/female) and presents fundamental approaches to work thru any anger and resentment.
   
   It also challenged me on how to educate my children on sexuality in such a way as to not cause stigmas in their future relationships.
   
   For me, this book and the exercises within saved my marriage.

5 comments about Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children.

1. "Raising Emotionally Healthy Twins" fills the space earlier reserved exclusively for Dr. Spock, except that
   it defines the understanding necessary to cope with the thrills, worries and trials attached to a 'two fer.'
   Dr. Friedman has written what I deem to be the ultimate guide to the healthy development of twins - one that speaks from the heart as well as the mind. This is a book which needs to be read by every twin parent.
   
   Miriam Harris, Ph.D.



2. Joan Friedman's book is very intelligent and insightful. She writes from a perspective that has not yet been explored. I found her book to be of very high quality and the writing is inquisitive and precise.
   
   This book is not only a necessary read for parents of twins, but useful for all parents. The unique philosophy discussed can be used in raising children of all ages.
   
   A must read for all serious parents!



3. Dr. Joan Friedman's book on relating to Emotionally Healthy Twins is a winner. She lays out her book in an easy to read style and an easy to reference style. The actual case studies that she shares clearly illustrate the points she is making. In addition, her stories of her twinship and her twin sons make her book even more personal and meaningful. I am now a better friend to all my twin friends. Thank you so much, Dr. Friedman.



4. In my book, "It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence," I stress the importance of promoting individuality in twin children. People often view twins as a set and fail to identify and distinguish the unique characteristics of each child. Even twins themselves may see themselves as an extension of each other, rather than as their own person. While it's a wonderful thing to have this loving and supportive bond between twins, it can also be detrimental to twins if they fail to achieve their own individual potential, form relationships with others, or develop a healthy self-esteem.
   
   Joan A. Friedman, Ph.D., an identical twin and the mother of twin boys, has written an excellent book on raising two distinct individuals who just happen to be twins. In "Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children," Dr. Friedman, a psychotherapist, breaks down her "parenting-of-twins philosophy" into 7 key concepts:
   
   1. Think of your twins as two unique individuals.
   2. Expect to have different feelings for each child.
   3. Give each child consistent "alone time" with you. They need it in order to adequately bond with you.
   4. Don't attempt to provide a "fair and equal" childhood for your twins.
   5. Don't compare twins to each other; each is on his or her unique life path.
   6. Encourage twins to pursue their own friendships and interests.
   7. Don't rely on your twins to be each other's constant companion or surrogate parent.
   
   If you're pregnant with twins, she explains how to mentally prepare for two separate babies. If you're raising twin babies, preschoolers, elementary school kids, preteens and teens, or young adults, separate chapters are devoted to meeting their emotional needs. There's even a chapter for fathers of twins, which will improve both their parenting and partnering skills. "Emotionally Healthy Twins" is an excellent book that addresses the unique challenges faced by parents of twins -- issues that aren't addressed in standard parenting books.



5. Gives good food for thought on raising twins. I think it's more for identical twin pairs and how to make them feel like individuals.

5 comments about Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry: Why Women Lose When We Give In.

1. 
   This book is about:
   
   How to gain freedom from all the lies you've been told about your sexuality.
   
   And since author Lisa Bevere is very well able to speak for herself, I will let her:
   
   "And why, why, why would I write a book on the virtues of sexual purity when it appears nobody is really interested or listening? And to whom would I write? In answer, this book is for daughters in waiting. It is for mothers to remember. It is for every fallen one who longs to be lifted. And it is for those who've kept themselves, to know and fully realize their reward and be encouraged to remain strong.
   
   "This book is a letter from a generation of mothers and mentors who have known regret, to the daughters of this generation that they might be kept from our failures, and inherit the promises and not the pain. It is a tool for mothers who feel they can't tell their daughters no because years ago they themselves said yes.
   
   "This is not a book of do's and dont's ... it is a book of restoration. A glimpse at how God sees things, a revelation of His original intent. Some might call it an impossible fairy tale, but I believe it can be true. Rules will never set us free, just as fear and control will never keep us safe. It is truth that frees us, one that looms larger than all the lies presently surrounding us. Truth is the dawning of morning where there has been a gross and long night of darkness filled with horrible disappointment and despair ....
   
   "Why have I told you this? Because I believe God wants to tell you a bedtime story, to rock back to sleep what's been so rudely awakened. One to softly lull passions back to a place of waiting and resting in slumber, a story to restore to a dreamlike state what was awakened before its time. A place where fears are calmed and hope is restored. A haven where shame is not permitted, and everything is fresh, new, and clean as flowers after a spring rain."
   
   -- pp. 10-11
   
   This book, if you let it, will take you on a journey from shame to restoration.
   
   And that's the power of purity & a clean heart -- which only God can provide to the fallen, amen.



2. I received this book as a gift and read it out of curiosity to see what the Christian fundamentalist community had to say about sex.
   
   I'm continually astounded that contemporary people fail to comprehend the significance of the social and historical contexts in which the Old and New Testament were written. The concept of female sexual purity, while marketed as a moral injunction, is in actuality merely a way of insuring legitimacy of offspring in an era when people had no access to birth control, did not understand female fertility and the concept of once-monthly silent ovulation, and had only a rudimentary grasp of the mechanics of conception - conflated with religious law.
   The one-size-fits-all, "just say no" approach to human sexuality, while appropriate for minor children whose moral development, discernement, and life-experiences have not caught up developmentally with their fertile physiologies is a resounding non-answer to adults, who must either marry, or by default be automatically condemned to a sexless life of involuntary celibacy - or suffer "automatic damnation" should they elect to experience a healthy, adult sexuality outside of marriage.
   It is virtually impossible to cultivate a healthy realtionship to one's burgeoning sexuality, neither unduly mystifying it nor unduly profaning it, in a religious culture of arbitrary suppression, guilt, secrecy and shame based on anitquated notions of female sexuality.
   A marriage ceremony is not a permanent blanket endowment - but rather, a daily, ongoing process of re-dedication to the sacred intent of the relationship. Marriage in and of itself neither automatically "sanctifys" nor renders consensual each sexual encounter - our civil law recognizes that rape can occur even within marriage. Likewise, who may realistically deny the transcendent deep communion and love which may be present between those who are unmarried ?
   
   Didn't someone famous say "Let those who are without sin cast the first stone ?" ...
   
   As for the author, the writing is clumsy and the observations are trite and puerile. I was curious about her qualifications and was appalled: no formal theological education, no background in counselling or marital therapy - in short, the awkwardly-written exhortations and opinions of one woman. How did this get published ?



3. Reviewed By Bethany Regattieri
   
   
   This is book is absolutely fantastic. EVERYONE should read it. It teaches about being Pure and following God because we are all his children!
   
   It has truly inspired me to be a better person. I have heard Lisa Bevere's talks on "Purity's Power" and reading this book has given me the confidence to stand up for what I believe in and not let anyone make me feel less of myself. We are all BEAUTIFUL IN GOD'S EYES. I can see the change in myself and I thank you for spreading the message Lisa.
   
   I Recommend this book highly!



4. Whether you are a young girl wondering if all the hype about "saving yourself" is really worth it, or a woman who chose another path and now wants to get rid of the shadows that choice left behind, this book will help you.
   
   So many lessons give us the rules without the reasons, and Lisa compares that to a parent's response to a child's nightmare. She says, "It would do no good to shake my finger at my child and tell him the rule that there's no such thing as monsters. Instead, I sing him a song and give him something to dream about." The rule is purity, and one of God's main reasons for wanting us to be pure is so He can communicate better with us. He wants to sing us a song and give us things to dream about. Lisa states that "God wants us to be wholly free so we can be wholly His."
   
   This book also accompanies a teaching by Lisa called "Purity's Power" and power with God is the main reason for keeping pure. Women need to see just how much power we have and just how often the enemy wants to strip it from us. Often, we allow the enemy to strip our power by exposing us. Or we strip it by giving it away to someone who does not cherish it. But that's not the end of the story. My favorite thing about this book is how Lisa teaches us to keep the power we have and to regain the power we've lost.
   
   If you are a mother who is having trouble coming up with reasons to inspire your daughter to purity (or whose daughter has turned a deaf ear to all the speeches about buying cows vs. free milk), you'll find plenty of new inspiration in this book. If you are a woman with shadows in the bedroom, this book will show you that God looks at you with a love that can dispel every one of them.
   
   As a 43 year old woman with no daughters, I thought I was only reading this book to prepare for teaching a group of Missionettes at a local camp. I never realized how much healing and strength it would bring to me personally. I recommend it to every woman who believes in God. It will help you to see yourself through God's eyes, and it will help you see other women and girls you may need to teach or mentor through His eyes. And if you can get a copy of the audio or video of "Purity's Power," I would recommend that as well.



5. I came away from reading this book with mixed feelings. On the one hand I think it holds some excellent pieces of advice for young girls who are wondering about sexuality and its complications. It encourages abstinence which I wholly agree with and gives advice to women who are scarred from past sexual sin. On the other hand, I felt a sense of great sadness for Lisa Bevere and the scarred women she is writing to. I always have a hard time relating to people who have made such mistakes because, by the grace of God, I managed not to make them. I think this is a very good, if sobering book for anyone to read, not only for the excellent advice, but because it gives a glimpse into the kind of mindset women are left with when they allow themselves to fall into sexual sin. I always notice the difference between women who have relatively pure pasts as opposed to women who don't. The women who have stayed pure always seem to have retained a sense of innocence which the women who made mistakes lack. They are happier, more comfortable in their own skin and less legalistic much of the time. Women who have made mistakes often suffer from guilt, (as Lisa points out) depression, and are more inclined toward legalism. They associate things with their past sin which unscarred women would never think to. (For instance: I can watch a James Bond movie and never once feel a pang of regret OR the desire to be like the women in it.) Read this book no matter what age you are and learn a sobering lesson from its author. If you are thinking of falling into sexual sin, please, please reconsider. The consequences are all right here in this book. You don't want to live with them.

5 comments about The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A guide to an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who has Asperger Syndrome.

1. While this book is well written, I did purchase it hoping that it would include more about women with Aspergers who have a neurotypical partner. I struggled with the fact that I identified more with the author's said issues with her Partner with AS, than i did with her explanations for the partner with AS. I was disappointed that her experience only included two women with AS. Having said that, i still think that it is a good book for my partner as he still has to come to terms with my being on the Autistic Spectrum.



2. Very timely for me and tells it like it is. Nice to know I am not alone.



3. You don't have to be married to someone with Asperger's to value this book. Anyone who has autism in their family will see the patterns and traits outlined here in ways surprising and unexpected, and will recognize themselves in the process. Living with a person with autism can make you think you are crazy because of the coping mechanisms you put in place - people with autism can be orderly in a way that is enviable and makes you feel completely disorganized yourself and the next thing you know you're alphabetizing your medicine cabinet and sorting playmobil toys by the date they were manufactured.
   
   The Other Half of Asperger's helps people without autism measure the impact of autism on theirs lives and empowers them to value the good things and minimize the bizarre ones. It allows you to knit those two halves (be they of a marriage, parent-child or brother-sister relationship) back into a whole.



4. What I really liked about this book is it's clarity and to-the-point writing. There isn't a whole lot of fluff (it's a short book) but it covers the basics very well. If you've been in a relationship with a man who as Asperger Syndrome for any length of time, you'll likely find yourself nodding your head, pleased to see that your feelings and thoughts are so well-addressed in this book.
   
   What impressed me perhaps most of all is that this book manages to address some of the difficulties faced by the partner of someone with AS without making it seem as if they are a victim of their partner's AS. There is a refreshing tone of "this can work" throughout the book, acknowledging that, while some things can be difficult, men with AS also have some very redeeming qualities. AS is not a disease, and you shouldn't look at your partner as defective. People with AS just process their world differently. As in any relationship, partners need to decide what they are and are not willing to accept.
   
   The book does touch a bit on women with AS, though it is brief and I feel it misses the mark somewhat. Still, I give this book five stars because I truly and honestly believe that any partner of a man with AS will benefit greatly from reading this. Men with AS may also benefit, as this book is a key to understanding his partner's experience.
   
   I would highly recommend this book.



5. This is an excellent overview of Asperger Syndrome and its impact on the marriage compact. It's useful for everyone, but has less usefulness for men with female partners who have the syndrome. That's because the syndrome is found predominantly in males and Ms. Aston's research was with couples of this composition.

5 comments about A Place Called Freedom.

1. As always, another one of Ken Follett's books that I loved. This book takes you back to Scotland in the 1700's. Even though the book may have had some predictable parts, it was hard to put this book down. The story begins in the coal mines of Scotland and takes you through a beautifully told story of love, lust, greed and envy. A must read for all of Ken Follett fans.



2. I've never read a lot of Ken Follett's work. His two historical fiction novels, World Without End and Pillars of the Earth picqued my interest and led me to delve a little deeper into his earlier efforts. I must say after reading this novel that I was quite disappointed.
   
   A Place Called Freedom is at best quite mediocre. There is virtually nothing to recommend it above hundreds of other similar books. There were flashes of interest concerning mining conditions and southern plantation practices in the mid-18th century, but by and large it was utterly unremarkable.
   
   Hard working, ambitious, intelligent Scottish miner, spends 400 pages being attracted to a young open minded highly sexed heiress both in Scotland and over seas in pre-revolutionary America. I wonder how it ends?



3. The main protagonists are Mack McAsh, a coal miner and Lizzie Hallim, a high-born young woman, who has to marry a rich man to save her family. Their love story develops over the course of the novel, as the story progresses. Mack is a young coal miner, a very strong, stubborn, hot-blooded and intelligent guy. He is a property of Sir George Jamisson, who owns the coal mines in the village called Heugh in Scotland. Mack works extremely hard in in the cruel and dangerous coalfields. However, he does not want to accept his fate. He never loses his passion for freedom. Mack challenges his owner and flees to London, where he works as a coal heaver and quickly becomes a leader of the heavers. Meanwhile, Lizzie gets married to Sir George's son, Captain Jay Jamisson, and they move to live in London. Then Sir George gives them a tobacco plantation in Virginia as a wedding present. In London, Mack accidentally gets involved in a riot and is sentenced to be transported to Virginia. In America, Lizzie and Mack flee together and fight for their freedom in the western wilderness.
   
   The book is too predictable and the plots are simple. There are too many coincidences and the ending is weak. I believe this book is definitely not Mr Follett's best. However, it's a fast read and quite entertaining. It also briefly but interestingly introduces the turbulent politics on 1760s Scotland, England and America.
   
   I would strongly recommend other books by the same author, including "The pillars of the earth" and "World without end". Those books are great!



4. Short book, good story. I'd place Follett in the running with William Martin, Preston Douglas and Lincoln Child. Being of celtic origin myself I enjoy reading about the beginnings of my heritage and Diana Gabaldon has the best series in that respect. Follett's research is excellent and tracing a scotsman from his origin to the american indians and a new life in America is an interesting and fast paced read. You won't regret reading this book - but move quickly into Pillars of the Earth and World Without End - they are beyond excellent.



5. I felt that this book was well-researched and the characters nicely rounded. I learned a few things about coal mining among other things, and I always love it when I pick up a historical novel and learn new facts!

5 comments about How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders.

1. An easy to read book with a very powerful message. We as a society need to redevelop a respect for our seniors. Because, after all, we will all be there sooner than we think.
   
   This book describes human development stages, including the one seniors go thru toward the end of their lives. It really is the most important, but least understood phase of our development.
   
   As a senior advocate, I would like to see this information rolled into our educational system, because it's so important to us all.
   
   If you have a senior family member, friend or client please get a copy for yourself. I think that you'll find yourself ordering additional copies for others.



2. By profession I am an estate planner. I have ushered both parents from this earth after confronting their very real crises in their search for answers in what their limited future would hold for them.
   
   Mr. Solie addresses our frustrations in communicating with the elderly. I am embarassed at my annoyance with my parents for what was their pain. A pain I could not feel because I did not understand.
   
   Mr. Solie's concept is simple: Our "problem" with seniors and their quirks is their search for a peace of mind at life's end. This revelation elevates an obligation of a child in putting up with "irrational" seniors to the act of offering them a path to mental balance. Put this way, the relationship approaches being a holy task.
   
   More than this, understanding Mr. Solie's insight, offers all of us a guide to our own search for meaning in lives that often turned out much different than we thought they would.



3. Some good ideas but often couched in cliches and occasional jargon. I suppose like any self-help book, if you pick up one or two new approaches to communication, it's worth the money. I think it could be organized for quicker reference. It approaches the Dr. Spock model of reference but isn't as comprehensive. And, finally, it's more helpful than the majority of "So your parents are elderly" texts, but still doesn't quite hit the mark.



4. I had been feeling as if my 89 year old father was from a different planet than I, one where he spoke a language I did not understand (I called it Oldmanistan). After reading Mr. Solie's book, I was able to learn to speak some of that language and developed a greater understanding of what was motivating some of his talk and behavior. Although it doesn't resolve the feelings I have regarding his decline and the loss I feel, (that would be a topic for another book), it is extremely helpful in guiding us boomers through the unfamiliar terrain of the elderly.



5. Sheds light on why it can be so hard, and frustrating, to talk with our parents and other seniors and, offers recommendations for overcoming communication barriers - theirs and ours.