5 comments about Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.

1. I've been reading a number of books on couples counseling as part of working through longstanding problems that have emerged in an 8-year relationship. This is by far the best book on the dynamics of adult pair-bonded love (attachment bonds to use Johnson's term) that I have ever read. I'm buying extra copies to give friends who I know are having problems in their couple-relationships. This should be required first reading for every couple in trouble. Maybe even required reading for anyone considering a committed relationship in or out of societally defined marriage.



2. Hold Me Tight is an entertaining and enjoyable read. Johnson offers couples in couples counseling an adjunctive support system in addition to the therapy hour.In addition to being immensely helpful to couples. It is a book that all couples - and all people who want to be part of a couple - should read. The perfect companion for this book is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



3. This book is easy to read, and most will recognise themselves more than once in the featured couples. The author has developed a very effective method for dealing with problems that haunt most couples. There are many "conversations" to have with your partner to excercise the skills outlined in the book. I highly recommend to any couple, especially those that have the same arguments over and over that never get resolved.



4. As a therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and an EFT trained therapist, I have found Dr. Johnson's new book an easy read as well as an effective tool for couples to work through together.
   
   Dr. Johnson has said that taking EFT and putting it into a framework that couples can use together on their own was very challenging to do. This book is a testimony to her hard work, one couples can benefit from, if they read and do the exercises.
   
   In the book, Dr. Johnson takes the readers through a straight forward explanation of the negative cycles most couples find themselves in. She handles the explanation of adult-attachment brilliantly and relates the concept to what happens in relationships when we get our feelings hurt. Next she has the reader re-work a difficult moment in their relationship and through this demonstrates her principals and some key interventions that are used in therapy with an EFT therapist.
   
   While buying and reading the book along with completing the exercises may not be equal to actually working through therapy with an EFT therapist, for those wanting a solid relationship check up or tune up, or those wanting to work on their own, Hold Me Tight is an easy and effective way to go. If you are looking for a self help couples book, you won't be disappointed.



5. She provided a program to growth and help couples develop the relationship, through her seven topics.
   She guides people in exploring emotions and pain, and helping couples create new communication. Also recommend other book: I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't is the right math of this matter.

5 comments about The Secret History.

1. This is, hands down, one of my favorite books ever. Do yourself a favour and read it. It'll keep you up late into the night!



2. "The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation. He'd been dead for ten days before they found him, you know. It was one of the biggest manhunts in Vermont history -- state troopers, the FBI, even an army helicopter; the college closed, the dye factory in Hampden had shut down, people coming from New Hampshire, upstate New York, as far away as Boston."
   
   Richard Papen came to Hampden College as a transfer from a small school in California. Why did he choose this tiny, but prestigious college so far from home? He liked the brochure. And it was about as far away from his parents as he could get. His father wanted him to take over the family gas station and his mother couldn't understand his need to go to college at all. Anxious to be rid of the monotony that his life had become in the small tract home where his parents really didn't seem to care much for him, he applied to Hampden. With a lot of help from financial aide, he was accepted. But mounting the bus to take him to Vermont changed his life forever.
   
   When he arrived, his chosen major was English Literature. But he was fascinated by the students who were "Classics" majors. Richard had wanted to continue his study of Greek, but found that he was not able to register for the classes. They were taught by the enigmatic professor, Julian Morrow. He hand-picked the students for the Classics, and only allowed a handful into the program. While Richard wasn't all that interested in the major beforehand, it seems that you always want what you can't have. Determined to be a part of this group, Richard tried to register with Julian, but was shot down immediately. Only when he happened upon the small group in the library trying to finish some Greek homework did his luck change. He was able to help them find some answers, and was indeed admitted to the program. However, this program was all-encompassing, and Richard had to drop all his other classes.
   
   There were 5 other students in the program: Henry Winter, a tall, dark-haired boy that worse glasses and English suits. He was brilliant and wealthy. He studied endlessly and spoke 6 different languages. Edmund, "Bunny" Corcoran, was loud and rude, but lovable in a way. Francis Abernathy, was elegant and refined. He wore exotic clothes and pince-nez glasses. And again, came from money. The last two of the group, were the twins: Charles and Camilla Macaulay. They were blond and beautiful, sophisticated in a way that Richard had never known. And now he was one of them, although he always seemed to find himself on the fringe of the group. But eventually, they accepted him and even started inviting him to go away to Francis' Aunt's home in the country for weekends.
   
   This book is basically 2 halves. The first is before Bunny is murdered. And the second half is the aftermath of said murder. Strangely enough, it's a bit of a mystery even though you know in the first page who is murdered and who is responsible. Donna Tartt's writing is amazing. It's beautiful, and the story which is a tough read seems to flow with ease.
   "Does such a thing as "the fatal flaw", that showy dark
   crack running down the middle of a life, exist outside literature? I used to think it didn't. Now I think it does. And I think that mine is this: a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs."
   
   Tartt takes a group of kids, albeit not exactly the normal college students, and creates an intense character study of them. She throws in a planned murder and then creates an atmosphere in which their world seemingly breaks down inch by inch. Of all the characters, Richard is probably the least defined. But he is basically a good kid caught up in circumstances that were completely beyond his control. The controlling factor is Henry. From one moment to the next, you have no idea whether he is a soft-spoken intellect with only a desire to fit in, or a cold, calculating man who will do anything to achieve what he really desires: power and control over others.
   
   Even the minor characters in the book are well-written and thought out. Julian, the enigmatic professor who seemingly loves his students. But might just love himself and his reputation more. Judy Poovey, another friend of Richard's is loud and funny. And Cloke Rayburn, the campus drug-dealer, who is a prep school friend of Bunny's, gets caught up in the disappearance of his friend and has no idea why.
   
   Underlying all of this is the group's desire to follow Henry, even though in their minds they know it is wrong. Henry is such an incredible force, and is the epicenter of the entire story. What are his morals? And do they fit with the morals of today's society?? Donna Tartt lays it all on the line, and leaves it up to you to decide the answer to these questions. A brilliant, well-written novel, The Secret History is going to be one that sticks with me for quite some time. I realize this isn't much in the way of reviews, and I know there is no way to do justice to this book. But if it gives you a peek into a fantastic story and makes you want to pick it up, then I guess my job is done!



3. I first read this book when it debuted in 1992, intrigued as much by the fact that a first-time author received a $450,000 advance as by the blurbs about the plot. In some ways, this is the novel that my friends would have expected me to write. After all, it involves Latin, Greek, fountain pens, Classics students, a Mustang, and one reference to Alexander Pope. As I came near the end of this second reading, some sixteen years after the first, I felt a melancholy that I had not for some time, but one that was familiar. It was the sadness of knowing that a book that has completed captivated you and taken you into its world, is coming to an end, and like the characters whose further lives you will never know, you must face the light of life around you.
   
   Indeed, this is the secret of the book, both for its characters and for the enjoyment of its countless readers. It takes you to places beyond yourself, yet somehow inside yourself as well, places that are at once frightening and familiar, and frightening because they are familiar.
   
   Make no mistake, the characters are utterly amoral by Christian standards, and because of this are led to extreme immorality and crime. I can honestly say I know no one like any of the characters, nor have I participated in any of the activities that rule their lives (except for the study of Greek and Latin and the use of fountain pens), yet I know them. They and their experiences are familiar. Perhaps this is not unlike the familiarity one feels with Classical tragedies that, despite their wildly different settings and motivations from modern times, transcend time to connect with people of all ages. In this regard, The Secret History takes its place alongside the tragic works that its characters study.



4. What to say about this book..I've started this review more than five times. It's an elusive thing. Tartt can create images like the most detailed, beautiful Carleton Watkins photograph you've ever seen...convincing dialogue as well. The test is to bundle all these images into a cohesive story that hangs together. Along the way I had my doubts, but in the end it worked. The book has stayed with me and I keep asking myself questions about duty and character and people/things appearing one way, but being another. These are worth continuing to ponder.



5. I have just completed reading this novel for a second time, having initially read it shortly after it was first published. Then, as now, I simply did not want it to end; and each time I put it aside, I did so reluctantly. The rarely seen, but always present force behind this novel is Julian, a classics teacher at an elite school in Vermont. Around him gathers a small cadre of select students. His students, all wealthy or pretending to be so, take courses almost exclusively from Julian ( a fitting name, for it was the Roman Emperor Julian who tried unsuccessfully to rekindle in an increasingly Christian Rome, worship of the fading, old Gods of the pre-Christian world). In The Secret History, Julian's students commit a ritualistic murder, seen by them as a sacrifice of sorts, and, then, murder one of their own circle who is perceived as being on the verge of disclosing their crime. Ms. Tartt's description of the family dynamics at the home of the fallen student prior to his funeral is richly detailed, yielding a level of authenticity that tenaciously absorbs the reader. Each of the students in her novel is convincingly described, and each in depth. We find Henry, for example, Julian's prize pupil, concerned about which classic text he should carry and display in Court to convey the right image, precisely what the reader would expect from this anachronistic young man. On second reading, my appreciation for Ms. Tartt's gifts only grew. The Secret History is simply one of the best modern novels I have read.

5 comments about Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition.

1. As the wife of Harvard Sleep Researcher, imagine my disbelief/distress when my 4-month old was only able to fall asleep via nursing and stay asleep by resting on my chest. My husband suggested the Ferber method and provided me with numerous studies supporting the idea that a little crying is not harmful and WILL NOT make a child insecure, as long as the child is loved and attended to while awake and alert. I resisted his suggestions and was willing (even though I dreaded each evening because I went to bed at 8:00 with a child on me and woke to nurse 3-4X per night)to wait until my son was 6 months to "Ferberize." Last Saturday my husband encouraged me to try the program for 3 nights and thank goodness we did! The first night was tough, but on night 2 our child slept from 8 p.m. until 6:00 a.m. with only 6 minutes of crying and last night he slept from 7:45 until 6:30!!! And he is napping longer during the day and is happier and more playful than ever. I feel like I have freedom again, this method is helping my child and me to have a happier life!!
   
   One note, since we will be traveling for most of August, we have decided to have our son sleep in his pack and play for three nights before we leave town, since he will be sleeping this way for several weeks. We also have prepared ourselves for a few nights of "re-adjustment" when we return from our trip.
   Remember: Be strong, be flexible and sleep will happen!!!!!!!!



2. I bought this book thinking it would solve my six month old's sleeping problems but made them worse. The progressive waiting and not picking up my kid when she was crying made her very mad and unable to sleep. After 2 weeks of working on the Ferber method she cried for 3 hours straight. I don't have a problem with Ferber's ideas and principles but there isn't a chapter on what to do if his way doesn't work. A little egotistical on his part that he didn't include a chapter on failure.



3. I was very worried about letting my 4 month old cry it out. However, we were desperate after having to rock her for sometimes up to an hour for naps which she would sometime wake up from 20 minutes later. AND, she always cried and cried in our arms anyway! We decided to get this book and read it despite all the bad reviews on the Internet. It is truly amazing what happened. The first night of "ferberizing" she cried for 45 minutes. We went in at 3 min, 5 min then every 10 min. It went better than I though...though it was very, very hard. However, after that night....one night....she now goes to sleep without crying for all her naps and bedtime sleep. We are on day 5 now. I am truly amazed. It's remarkable. However, I do believe we got the timing just right. She was starting to sleep quicker when we were rocking her in the previous week and I think she just matured to the point where she was ready. Honestly I think had we not done this she would have been more irritated by us rocking her. I'm soooo glad we got this book. It really isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. There are some very interesting discussions about sleep. It's way better than other books like The Baby Whispere and The No Cry Sleep Solution. Don't waste your time on them. At least get this book and read it then decide if your baby is ready.
   It's truly amazing that my 4 month old is sleeping all on her own. She is so much happier, less fussier...AND she slept through the entire night last night...7pm to 7am when she has always woken for at least one feed!! A miracle.



4. If your child is having troubles sleeping and is older than 3 months old, this book does have good advise and an interesting theory about sleep. However if your child isn't really having problems a good book that just helps you learn about and understand a baby's and a child's sleep schedule and what to expect from children at different ages, try "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."



5. My dear daughter just turned 8-months, she is our second baby. She was getting up three or four times a night wanting to be nursed back to sleep. My husband and I are going on a cruise and decided that we needed to do something so our poor parents were not getting up with her. So we read this book (that I bought for my 1st child but never needed) and after three nights, she is sleeping 10+ hours! I was skeptical after the first night of trying it and figured it was a fluke that she slept 5 hours without waking but after the third night I'm convinced this book is genius!

5 comments about Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby.

1. Could not be better! 5 years ago, I received this as a gift from my aunt while pregnant with my first child. As a result of taking the advice in this book, my little boy slept 6 hours a night by the end of week one and was a healthy eater and sleeper the rest of his infancy. My friends and family were in awe. I bought this book for a friend of mine who is currently pregnant. Great as a gift, great reference book, great for all new mommies who are unsure of the 'how tos' of infancy.



2. Several other reviewers of this book have commented about bad information about breastfeeding and about this book's generally negative tone about breastfeeding and I too was deeply dismayed by that aspect of this book. I would also like to suggest that other areas of error include claims currently contradicted by recent scientific discoveries. For example, the presence of pet hair, criticized by "Baby Whisperer" as leading to allergies, actually has been demonstrated in several studies to help prevent the development of allergies and asthma in children. There is clearly a need for a revised edition.
   
   This is definitely a parent-centric book in that it seems to care more for the parents' convenience than the baby's nature and well-being. The rigidness (sold as "flexibility") seems artificial and certainly does not fit for my son. I hadn't actually known much about "attachment parenting" before my read of this book sent me looking to learn more, and a modified version of attachment parenting seems much more appropriate for my baby. The general plan of "Eat, Activity, Sleep, You-Time" makes sense, but the truly rigid scheduling (which the authors tout while continuously denying that they are being rigid) is misplaced and likely to create more stress as the parents watch the clock and not the baby.
   
   And the constant "luv" comments drove me nuts! :)



3. The book was in great condition. But the delivery time was not as prompt as I hoped.



4. This book was recommended to me by my sister when I was about to lose my mind from lack of sleep. My 7 month old was waking up multiple times during the night and always took short naps throughout the day. Being my second child, I assumed that I could do what I did with my first. Offer to breasfeed him whenever he woke up, needed to sleep, or was fussy. I guess that I took the "feeding on demand" to an extreme. I picked this book up and read through it in a day (I skipped a lot of the parts about newborns as I was well beyond that point). I tried her recommended techniques, specifically pick up/put down and her suggestions about establishing set routines, and to my absolute amazement my little toughie responded incredibly well. The first three nights were brutal, but by night four he was sleeping 11-12 hours straight. He has also drastically improved with his napping. I am now recommending this book to everyone. I breastfed my first child for 12 months and am planning on doing the same for this one. I did not feel once that the author was trying to talk me out of breastfeeding. I think that it is nice that she offers encouragement for both sides as I have a lot of friends who chose not to breastfeed and they receive a lot of negative comments from breastfeeding advocates. Neither of my kids took pacifiers either (why would they they had me), so I ignored any suggestions about them. The basic ideas make a lot of sense and unfortunately following my maternal instincts led my down a very sleep deprived path. This book saved me!



5. I wish I had read this book before bringing home my baby from the hospital. The authors tips on feeding, sleeping and communicating with the baby were right on for me and my baby. I was quickly able to get to "know" my baby and learn how to read her cues before she has a meltdown. My baby is six weeks old now. This is supposed to be the time where a baby cries the most, but she cries maybe 10 minutes a day. I love this book and I've bought it for other pregnant friends. I will continue to do so also!

5 comments about Big Russ and Me: Father and Son: Lessons of Life.

1. This is a book that everyone should read! Makes you realize how important family is and what having moral values really mean. It also makes you think about what kind of person you want to be remembered as and especially what you would like to teach your children. I absolutely loved it. Wish we still lived in those days. The world has changed so much and I can't say it's for the best.



2. A personal story of the relationship between a father and his son. This story personifies what a father/son relationship should be. The values of the father handed down to the son serve to bring that son into manhood and establish his outlook on life, his ethics and moreover his treatment of this fellow man. An excellent book and a must read for every father/son relationship.
   Robert Allen, Author: A "Guest" of the Confederacy The Civil War Letters and Diaries of Alonzo M. Keeler, Captain, Company B, Twenty-second Michigan Infantry



3. Wonderful reminiscences of his childhood and relationship with his Father. The book took me back to my childhood and fun times in the empty lot with kids. Being out all day. Riding bikes. Mom making donuts for the neighborhood kids while we were busy building snow forts or christmas tree forts. What fun times!



4. We enjoyed this book very much. Listening to Tim Russert's voice made it feel like you were sharing stories with an old friend. His appreciation of his humble beginnings and up bringing are very evident. You can see why so many people connected with how he delivered the important world happenings and made it relevent to all. A great story of how simple a fathers love can be. Do not turn it off until you hear the epiloge, very tender, especially now.



5. Big Russ and Me was in the condition described. The book came in a timely manner.
   
   Cheryl

5 comments about The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old.

1. I have not read this whole book but what I have read is pretty good. My problem is I am not much of a book reader.



2. It wasn't the wonderful, magical cure that I had heard about. My toddler was no happier with me acting like a "cave man" than she was with me acting like myself. It is informative and give you some good info on reflecting feelings back to children, but overall, there isn't much there that most of us do not already know.



3. It felt unusual to do what the author suggests, but every child in my family & day care responded/responds so well to the ideas presented. Children are not little adults, their brains work differently. The adult who assumes the concepts in the book won't work & who therefore practice with obvious cinicism are going to have trouble. Give yourself & the child a fair chance with the suggestions made in this book & the rewards will be awesome!



4. I admit I've not read the book, so take that as you will. However, after reading all the reviews positive and negative, all the information on this book provided by this site and the first page option, I have come to the conclusion that this book will help a small group of people, but on the whole is not useful. I am almost saddened to see so many positive reviews advocating that one lock their child in their room at night to make them sleep on their own. In the same breath this man insists that we speak "toddler-ese" because the child won't understand more? How will a being that doesn't understand more than primitive language (supposedly) understand the concept of being locked in their room, albeit "lovingly".
   
   I also find fault in the idea that one should "talk like a cave man" to a toddler because that's what they will understand. From day one we didn't do baby talk, we didn't shorten words or sentences for ease. We just spoke to her. Normally using proper grammar. At 15 months old her vocabulary was reaching over 150 words. Now, my daughter is almost 3 and is quite articulate. I've never once in her life hear her say, "Kiara need milk". It's always "Mommy, I need some milk." (Please is optional, but we're getting there.) I feel that the cave-man talk stunts their growth and understanding of the way people are to talk and interact with one another. It supports the laziness that we're finding in our children's studies as evidenced by flagging test scores and general apathy regarding education. Give your child the tools to express themselves rather than dumbing down the world. People underestimate the intelligence of babies/toddlers far too much. Quite sad, really, as children are amazing and incredible creatures.
   
   Tantrums happen. Kids want to cuddle before bed. The lack of these things doesn't necessarily make them "happy" nor does the inclusion of these "stumbling blocks" indicate an "unhappy child".
   
   This book is not for our family.



5. Gave this to my daughter who has a 2 year old. Seems to be working well. She read the happiest baby on the block which I love to give as a gift to new mothers.

5 comments about The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide - How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho.

1. Fantastic...and oh so funny. You will be reading and the next second howling over in laughter. But this is the one. Intellectuals only please. This isn't a cologne and breath-mint book. This is the kick in the pants that u needed! I always hear how "i've read so many other books and this one is great...blah, blah." So have I and this is a must get!! I never leave a review, EVER!! But I absolutely had to. It is that good. So much information...a long read...but that is what u want, isn't it?? Twenty bucks buys a lot of info. Thanks Dr. Tate. U got my vote for Man of the Year!!



2. This was the 1st book of the PUA genre that I read, and a good intro. After getting more into the subject I read several other books in the past couple months. This one seems more of a compilation of the others, borrowing HEAVILY from previous works, in fact in many ways a dumbed down (but funnied up if that's a saying) version of Iron John and the Art of Seduction, and many others. Very entertaining and humorous so a great read if you have not read other such books.
   
   There is an informative section on Finances before marriage and international stuff which are the main differences between other books such as this.



3. I finally broke down and bought this book after reading many many reviews.I was disappointed overall. The author seems a bit daft. He despises feminists and their fat-headed hypocrisy and anti-male bigotry,a position with which I am in total agreement!!-but he expressess himself in such a nasty angry way he sounds like a nut. His much vaunted humor is overrated,I didnt find it all that funny. Maybe I am a bit dimwitted,(it has been suggested!) but a lot of his PUA advice was either elementary,the stuff you could find anyhwhere,or a bit dumb. For example he says at on epoint to associate with big shots and high achievers as women will be impressed by seeing you with them. What kind of dumb advice is that? "M-m-mister T-t-trump?? Can I,ya know,be witchoo??" he lambastes the state of marriage,but his views get crushed under the weight of his anti-woman vitriol. Can u imagine a guy like, say,Neil Strauss,inveighing against all the fat nasty horrible wives ripping off their dear sweet family loving hubbies?? I am not saying his views arent VALID,he just doesnt have a lot of credibility. This book is for the guy with lots of cash,who lives a certain lifestyle--its not for Everyman. Better yet,its a good book for a teenager!Some compulsive masturbating kid who dreams of endless sex with willing nymphs!! I wish I'd of read it when I was that guy!! Its funny and bizarre,but not genuine PUA stuff IMO. be warned,this book will not change your (sex)life. Recommendation? I jusy got Bandlers new book on NLP,"Change Your Life". Thats a good place to start with PUA! Good luck boys!!!!!



4. Tate clearly could care less about Political correctness and holds nothing back. The book is very engaging, and makes you really step back from all your years of dating and women, and makes you ask yourself "What do I really want out of dating and life, and why?" Then he shows great intellectual solutions to getting more with less effort, and enjoy all your new free time to pursue your other passions and hobbies in life.
   
   This book challenges you to balance and manage your pursuit of women and career more efficiently and really see "how to view dating" in a lens of lateral thinking. The psychology is highly intuitive, never takes itself seriously, and the book is a fascinating page turner. It has great random thoughts and comments about women and life throughout, and some really funny sarcastic comments. Humor only works when it is based on truth, and you will constantly drop this book and laugh and hear yourself saying "that is so true." You literally can't stop picking it up and turning to random pages.



5. A damn witty dating psychology guide, perfect for streamlining your dating lifestyle; stop over-clubbing, spotting and avoiding getting trapped with the disguised psychos and golddiggers. He gives some great psychological tests and tools to cut to the chase in picking and choosing your women. If you're young and single, or new to the game, you probably consume 20+ hours a week pursuing women, while throwing money around town left and right with little results. Tate shows how to step back, focus, and spend just a few hours a week with numerous potential girlfriends by narrowing down the "interview" process and picking the right girls BEFORE you commit any time or money. A very interesting fresh perspective that challenges and puts the status quo in its place.

5 comments about Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men.

1. Dr. Kimmel, in this book, provides a troubling but important analysis of what is happening with young men today. Read it if you care about the fate of men in this society.



2. In Guyland, a professor of sociology examines the culture of (mostly) white males from high school to age thirty or so. This book's intended audience may have been parents of sons, but as a thirty-something female I found this book fascinating. Boys are physically developing into men faster than their grandparents, but emotionally they are developing much later: I know a number of young men about my age who still behave as though they are in college, and that is the type of guy that this book addresses.
   
   Kimmel does spend some time sympathetically addressing the pressure that young men face, but the majority of chapters focus on undesirable behaviors (rape, binge drinking, hazing) and somewhat normal behaviors taken to testosterone driven extremes (consumerism, pornography, sports fandom.) Although many of the examples are from the media and certainly not representative of most guys, the author does make a convincing case that complicity only helps perpetuate such behaviors. These chapters were fascinating, particularly some of the candid quotations shared with the author. Unfortunately these were fewer than I would have liked.
   
   The final two chapters, which focus on how young women's behavior contributes to the problems of Guyland and suggestions for reforming Guyland are the weakest. The former didn't seem to have a place in this book as there are already far more insightful books written about young women, and the latter had little in terms of concrete suggestions. Instead the author calls for parents and society to be supportive of young men so that they can develop boy scout like values... unfortunately this is easier said than done, and the type of parents and citizens that need to read this book certainly won't.
   
   Despite its faults, this is worth reading if only because there are so few addressing this subject. Though intended for parents of boys, parents of young women would be wise to give this book to their daughters as well, especially if the daughter is planning to join a sorority!



3. One of the two books I ordered had a wrecked cover. It was a book I was
   donating to a library and unacceptable.
   
   The employee who sent it should be talked to. HN



4. I purchased "Guyland" because of a wonderful review of it in the NY Times.
   Despite its difficult and loaded content, the NY Time reviewer noted that it was a "good read."
   And it is - like a can opener digging deeply into your brain and memory to elict your responses to "What is a man?" Being older, I am way out of touch with today's male world, but Kimmel unlocked several secrets of how men live today: single 35-year-olds living together and the lack of commitment in all of the Appatow comedy films and TV comedies; young boys who endlessly watch a video screen, no matter what it shows; young guy's many hours of "hanging out" and listening to the angry talk radio shows or playing video games, rather than connecting with humanity or facing the responsibility of what they should "be" when they grow up. I was not expecting so many topics - which end up all being pieces of today's "Guyland."
   I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had since reading this book with my wife, my children, my male friends. There are those who have criticised the book but I am not certain what they were looking for. A definitive description of a "Man?" A dry and scholarly treatise on "How a man is different from a woman?" Those are "grey" areas already and are shifting and changing as I write this.
   I had a wonderful time with the book and thank Mr. Kimmel from getting me away from my electronic addictions. And connecting with other people.



5. Reading this book I admit there are some valid points to the world of "Guyland", but Micheal Kimmel presents his arguments in a condescending, patronising "holier than thou" mindset which basically insults all the young men I have known. This book was written by a man who wanted to appeal to a female audience to satisfy there supposed sense of superiority over the opposite gender- namely women bashing men becuae we don't do what they want us to do all the time!
   
   If Michael Kimmel doesn't like being a man, then why doesn't he get surgery to become a woman? That way he can bash men as much as he wants ( and ignore the shortcomings and problems of HER OWN Gender!!!)
   
   I can;t wait for someone to write "Girlland" to highlight all the problems with the young females, but that wouldn't be politically correct now would it?

5 comments about Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence.

1. 
   Out of all the financial books I've read so far, I believe this one is the one that speaks most to my values and beliefs about finances. Instead of preaching about how you can have it all, the authors discuss the value of frugality and recognizing when a person has enough. The authors have nine steps in their program and each step is designed to help you make your way to financial independence and intelligence by asking yourself what your really getting out of your spending habits, and also the way you live your life. The authors posit that it is entirely possible to retire earlier in your life provided you know how to live frugally, and I believe this is entirely the case. I've already been modifying how I spend money, thinking carefully about what the benefit is of buying a particular item, as well as what my overall goals are. I'm already noticing some effects and I'm willing to continue committing to a program that ultimately could lead to satisfaction in terms of having enough time to really do everything that I want to do.



2. Really is a wonderful read that puts your life into control of how you want it.



3. Ok book on retirement planning. But, like all such books, it pays to be rich before you retire. Nothing of use for us "poor" souls.



4. The other reviewers have pretty much covered the content of this book. Admittedly I haven't used all of the ideas, however now I have become very aware of how I spend my money and how many hours I have to work to purchase the ever evasive 'thing I must have or die'. Totally amazing! I now realize how much stuff I really have that I really do not need. Keeping these things actually cost you more by using up your time and energy to maintain 'your stuff'
   Once you can get this change in your thinking, it's amazing how much more money you really have.
   
   Before I purchased this book, I found it referenced and recommended all over the place. That must mean something.
   
   If you're still not sure about it, get it from the library. (Yet another of their money saving ideas.)
   xox
   MEF



5. I have read over 50 books by all the most popular financial authors today, and I believe this classic from the early 90's is by far the best if your goal is to be financially independent from your job once and for all. The author himself actually became independent in his early thirties and remained so for over 20 years until his untimely death due to a critical illness. So this book is not about theories it is showing how some one achieved financial independence in real life.
   The philosophy of this book is that you earn money through sacrificing your precious life energy through work. It talks about how the majority of people have destroyed their quality of life in pursuit of a high standard of living. The end result being they lose their identity in the position they hold and no longer live, they just work on a treadmill of endless earning and spending with little enjoyment.
   The author proposed a nine step plan that will cause you to be mindful with your money. Track your spending, are you really getting the value out of what you have bought for the effort you gave to earn the money? He proposes a chart graph to track your monthly spending against your monthly income, with a third line of savings. When the interest on your savings surpasses your expenses you are completely financially free for the rest of your life. You have the rest of your life to enjoy and do what ever you please. Volunteer, work part time at something you truly love, of just sleep until noon until you are bored. The key to this program is:being frugal, aggressively eliminating all debt and cutting expenses in every way possible and saving diligently. I admit that this program is a little extreme for most people, but I am willing to follow it for the ultimate pay off, financial freedom to do as I please for the rest of my life. The new American dream.
   
   I would highly recommend also reading Dave Ramsey's :"Total Money Makeover" if you find this book to Spartan for your personal tastes. Dave has lead me to being debt free with a large net worth over the past 15 years, and I started with nothing.

5 comments about Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships.

1. While the author's knowledge and ideas are on the plus side, his free use of crude and rude...and just plain filthy...language leaves me wondering why a man with a PhD and the years of experience he has must resort to "gutter talk" to make points about relationships.
   Due to this, I found myself unable to share it with my wife and just threw the book in the trash....which is, I'm afraid, where it belongs.



2. If you're not, you need to read this book! The passionate Marriage is an excellent book written in a personable manner with excellent anecdotes that demonstrate the concepts the writer is explaining. Reading this book helped me recognize where I wasn't differentiated and where I needed to do some serious internal work to help myself. It's also helped my marriage a lot, in terms of how my wife and I communicate.
   
   If you're having trouble in your marriage or just want to communicate better and have more intimacy, read this book. It will help both you and your partner(s) connect with each other.



3. I have learned that it's fine to think about myself first, even during sex. This book freed us from the specter of uneven sexual desire, and battles about oral sex. I also recommend an amazing book in this topic I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



4. It's about resolving the issues in a relationship in a way that results in great sex, rather than the other way around.I love about this book is that it isn't just about having great sex/chemistry/passion in general but about having those things with your partner.
   The perfect match with this book is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



5. I went over the hell of pain reading this book. I made skyscraper of realizations, and so far made only couple of floors of improvements. I am still in 'five steps forward, four steps back' motion while working on myself. But this lifechanging book... I would recommend it to anyone - married or single, it does not matter. It also does not matter where your lack of integrity pops up - be it work, social life, friendship or marriage. It will pop up everywhere and is rooted in the same causes pointed out in book.
   
   Instead of being purely behavioral guide, like most books are, this book, with reader's will, can help mobilize what is best in them, not just follow checkbox guide. English is my 3rd language, and book is much more difficult to read than say, 'Seven Principles' by Gotham, which was a breeze compared to 'Passionate Marriage'.
   
   I am so grateful and proud for being able to feel and taste pure, distilled love for my wife and for other people in my life. This is unbelievable state I wish more people to know of. Our sex and lives are changing at fast pace every day in every aspect, and only I read the book (but I share my findings about myself with her if I want to (yeah, acting differentiated :) ) ). Your spouse doesn't have to read it. As Dr. Schnarch says 'it takes two to screw marriage, and one to fix it'.