5 comments about Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? Insights into Personal Growth.

1. A settlement has been reached in connection this Roman Catholic priest accused of sexual abuse. At least six adults claimed father John Powell abused them in the late 60's and 70's. No criminal charges were filed against Powell but the priest has admitted to the abuse.



2. John Powell writes in such a way that he is easy to understand. What he writes makes sense. He uses examples and research to back up his points. I would suggest this to wanting to become more self aware.



3. I first read this book in 1972. It answered so many questions regarding my feelings, interations with others, and my view of life in general. I recently purchased another copy and the message holds true today as it did over 35 years ago. This is a timeless book.



4. It is rare that I will seek out a book that I have owned and read after more than 30 years. I, however, lost my original copy and wanted to keep my "John Powell" collection in tact...that and it is a book that I think should be required reading for all 1st year counseling or social work students. It is truly a gift and a worthwhile read for anyone seeking a more mature & rewarding life.



5. "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?" Cynically, "Because Father Powell is having me undress for him." Some may see that as a cheap "ad hominem" shot, but the reality that the author manipulated the very concepts he discusses in this book, calls into question their validity.
   Like a great deal of pop psych/religion of the time period, the book has an easy appeal, but begins to wane under critical evaluation.
   In case you are unaware, Father Powell, now lost in dementia, admitted to using his position to victimize students, retreatants and counselees. Viewed through that knowledge, the book can be seen as one long snicker at how an abuser can see a potential victim's weaknesses and exploit them. Only the prurient would buy a book by Charles Manson on how to run a commune (no matter how efficient). There is little difference here. As a close, the Jesuit religious order (which was aware of Father Powell's behavior but continued to promote him) continues to realize revenues from his books, even though it has paid out millions in settlements, and is currently defendant in yet another case. Donate your money to survivors or chld abuse protection or simply buy a different book.

5 comments about The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love (Running Press Miniature Editions).

1. Fun take on life from a woman's perspective, great recipes and the straight skinny on how to get men to behave. If you haven't read the Sweet Potato Queens you are missing out on a good time and some great advice on men and life in general.



2. I have been meaning to read this book for years, because it sounded so funny. When I finally ordered a copy, I was a bit let down.
   I expected a funny take on being a southern woman, with a lot of teasing about being an improper southern belle ("fallen").
   What I found was a lot of cliches and stereotyping---not of the female southerner, but more sitcom-style. The author relies heavily on traits that we females supposedly tend toward, but I don't find most of them to be true. I also don't see the behavior of the Queens as very funny--mostly snarky to their aquaintances, rude to outsiders, condescending to men, and uncreative. I also don't get the heavy reliance on sexual jokes and innuendo. My friends and I don't talk like that, yet we are not prudes.
   It would be funny if the author didn't appear to belive in her own dogma, but she says she does, so I guess I'll have to take her at her word. No matter, I've got this one up for swap and won't finish it.



3. Jill, if you read your own reviews and I hope you do: this is for you.
   First, the world in general is right: you are hilarious You have a gift, sister. And I would have given you five stars just for that. But honestly Jill, you know darn well that when humor becomes degrading it is not really humor at all.
   There are a lot of us out here who may be "young and hip", but we're not stupid. Your mother and her friends were right: private bedroom experiences (whether right or wrong) do not need to be publicly hashed over and laughed at.
   Apparently this sort of thing used to be referred to as "trash". Now it's "what's for dinner"-everywhere...
   You seem to have a whole lot more to offer. Skip the trash, keep the hilarity. God gave you your gift for a reason. Use it with intelligence and you can change the world-for good.



4. The read was cute. I got a few chuckles out of the book. But when ordering I didnt notice that it was a miniature and was so very disappointed in that fact. Whether it was an over sight on my part or misleading by Amazon, I'm not sure. So as far as that is concerned, only a mid rating.
   I did enjoy the mini enough to order the "REAL" book and have started reading and enjoying that.



5. This book truly is a "miniature edition." It could serve as a coaster - BUT if you ever decide to use it as one, make sure you read the inside from cover to cover. The contents are hillarious. You could read this entire book from the time you start a load of laundry and finish it before the timer to the dryer goes off ... AND ... it would be one of the most enjoyable loads of laundry you'll ever remember doing. I ordered three of these books - one for myself, and one for each of my sister's (best friends)! Great gift idea for the girls!

5 comments about 1001 Ways to Be Romantic: Now Completely Revised and More Romantic Than Ever.

1. Amazon's service was great, but I'm not really impressed with this book. Lots of way too obvious and trite ideas, and a lot of really expensive ones.



2. First off, it's important to realize this is a reference tome. You really don't sit down and read through the 1,001 suggestions one after another, like reading a novel! This book is nicely broken up into sections. If you need an idea for a romantic movie, you flip to that section. If it's ideas for a special night out, you go to that section. This is the perfect book to leave in the bathroom or by the bed, to skim through when you have a few minutes.
   
   In any list this large, there are going to be a number of ideas that some poeple say "That's obvious! Why put it into a book!" However, I have many lists like this on my website and I can prove from experience that every item one person says "everybody knows that!" to - another person writes to say "that idea was brilliant!" It is the way of the world. Everybody has somthing to learn.
   
   So, what do YOU stand to learn from this book? Every section will undoubtedly hold something new. There are tons of movie ideas. tons of song ideas for playlists. Tons of quotes for cards, sayings for toasts. Tons of websites to visit to buy flowers, chocolates, paintings, clothing, you name it. There are ideas to discuss with your romantic partner. Places for you to go. There are tons of ideas that cost money - but also tons of ideas that are completely free.
   
   Do I find some of the ideas silly? Sure. One of the tips talks about a guy bringing his wife a cup of tea every night in bed - *whether she wants one or not* (italics theirs). That doesn't sound romantic to me, it sounds controlling!
   
   Still, that was just one part of one tip. Unlike some books that count every single line as a separate tip, this one has a list of 128 items to know as "just one item". It even has a bonus section in the center with more items for you to read.
   
   So again, you come back to the "silly" idea. Who needs a giant book of romantic ideas? Well, if you are creative and spontaneous, and every day is full of romance, then you probably don't need this book. That's fine! But for many people, they do NOT have romantic ideas sprouting out of their ears. They honestly get stuck and need help. Those people are who this book was written for, and it is VERY helpful.
   
   Even for those people, will every single tip be meaningful? Probably not. Some tips appeal to planners, some appeal to those who want an idea "for right now". But again, with so many tips in here, that is both expected and quite fine.
   
   The best way to use this book is as a team. Get one color highlighter for one person, and a different color highlighter for the other. Go through the book at your leisure and highlight your favorite items. That way when you skim the book looking for inspiration, not only do you get ideas, but you get ideas you KNOW your partner really is interested in.
   
   This is one of those books that you use for years and years to add a spark into your life. Every relationship can grow and improve. Every relationship SHOULD be worked on daily to be its best. I really do feel this book can help you do it, if you're seeking ideas.
   
   Good luck!



3. There is really nothing new here. If you've seen one of his books, you have seen them all. Many ideas are quite dated.



4. If you're creative, you are probably not looking for this book. If you are not, this is an amazing resource chock full of ideas for keeping the romance alive in your marriage. Even if you are creative, I guarantee you will find ideas that you have yet to dream up. It's great for sparking creativity and fun - I highly recommend it!



5. From: www.BasilAndSpice.com
   Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life!
   
   Book Review: 1001 Ways to be Romantic by Gregory JP Godek
   
   
   Modern science has shown that being part of a healthy loving relationship is beneficial to the mind and body. Keeping the relationship alive to stand the test of time is the challenge. My husband names the answer as "COMPROMISE," something we've both been willing and able to do. And to tell you the truth, I agree with him. He's right, on this issue.
   
   Most women wish to be appreciated and recognized as that special someone on Valentine's Day. BestSelling author, Gregory Godek, recommends couples create romance in their lives. In fact, he knows 1001 Ways To Be Romantic. Romantic gestures, he writes, are not ulterior motives, but expressions of love and appreciation. They show that you've been thinking about your partner. Romance is an art, not a science. Love is a cooperative sport, not a competitive sport. Romance is not a business. Love is not a battle."
   
   Hints for romance and a happier relationship include:
   
   Singing "your song" to her at a karaoke bar. (My college friend Steve--a tenor, sang to his wife as she walked down the aisle.)
   
   Fill a one-gallon glass jar with her favorite candy.
   
   Make love every day for a week or month.
   
   Take your lover on a surprise two-week vacation. (Here's where you may need to compromise.) Guys, it's probably not fishing!
   
   Phone her every day from work a few times just to say, "I love you." (Let your pride down on this one.)
   
   Send a message via sky writing.
   
   Go skinny dipping--in private!
   
   Write a romantic note and place it where she'll find it.
   
   Hire a limo for the evening and go out on the town!
   
   Have "your song" playing when she returns home from work.
   
   Place a pillow on the bed that reads, "TONIGHT!"
   
   Hold hands and give three quick squeezes.
   
   Hum "your song" in her ear.
   
   BackStory Bite--Gregory JP Godek, known as "America's Romance Authority," writes this dedication:
   
   To the romantics--who simply want more
   
   To the cynics (the romantics of tomorrow)
   
   To those who want to fall in love again
   
   To those who want to save romance from the scientists and psychologists--and put it back into the hands of the poets and dreamers and lovers
   
   To my son, the future author--Thomas Valentine Godek
   
   And to my bride, my best friend, my soulmate, Karyn Lynn Godek...(Who is more fun than you and me? Nobody.)
   
   4 Stars

5 comments about The Book of Virtues: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories.

1. I am 54 years old and was raised in a way that the poetry and stories mean something to me because of the era in which I was raised. Purity was prized, discipline by spanking was administered and appreciated in time because the alternative was much worse, which created self-discipline in most things. Honesty, responsibility, compassion, courage and faith have been lost in the last twenty years with the "me" generations getting everything they want with instant gratification. The children of today are about to come crashing down hard with the realities of life without virtues. It isn't easy. Nothing is free, and Bennett has compiled a tasteful way of learning some of the lessons without experiencing them personally, which I can tell you, my generation has experienced in spades. Sure, he could have put other stories in that could have expressed it differently, but these were the stories that moved him most, and when we write our "Book of Virtues" we can add the stories that mean the most to us. Reading the "American Book of Poetry" is where it started. Keep up the reading. Keep up the digging and striving for the virtues listed in the book. America needs people of virtue, people of honesty, even people of faith, because right now, the selfish "Gen-X" generation and their children are about to get our nation blown up by the very arrogance the British had that said we know better because of who we are and what we know. Sadly, they know nothing. They have no true hardship or challenges that forge the steel in their spines. Most can't even throw a punch, because violence has been bred out of them. Well, wake up, people, the world is violent, the world is harsh and tough, and without the virtues of self-discipline, faith and courage, they won't have the perseverance to survive.



2. Every parent and grandparent, every mentor, every Sunday school teacher, every educator should a copy of this book. This should be taught to our children.



3. The Book of Virtues by Wm J Bennentt is a collection of fiction and non-fiction stories, each with a moral attached. Before you run back to the crime flicks and sexy, steamy fare on TV, take another look. You know how good it feels to take a cool shower on a hot day? Well .....Virtues by Bennett is a mini-bath for the soul. I like the fact that these tales are not just for children; after all, we big kids need reminders to love our neighbors,do good. do the RIGHT thing, etc. And don't let the author's rather conservative views scare you off! These stories just hold timeless truths you've known since you were little. You've just forgotten.
   
   Diane A Schute New to New Jersey



4. This book makes the point that virtue in both public and private affairs is becoming rare today. Vice does seem to be in its ascendancy. "Old fashioned" virtues such as faithfulness, loyalty and purity are mocked today, but vices like greed and selfishness seem to be promoted everywhere.
   
   Maybe we have taken Aquinas' deadly sins and turned them into our virtues. We all know the old list: sloth, gluttony, envy, and so on. For example, modern advertising has institutionalized the sin of covetousness.
   
   Therefore, it is very refreshing to find a book that unashamedly promotes virtue. William Bennett has put together a plethora of stories, poems, and adages that promote virtue. Many of the stories that the over-50s would have grown up with, but that many young people today would never have heard of, are put together in this great collection.
   
   10 virtues are covered: self-discipline; responsibility; compassion; friendship; work; courage; perseverance; loyalty; honesty; and faith. For each one there are a number of stories, essays and poems included, and these hit home the moral of each particular virtue. In the section on courage, for example, one finds such classics as Jack and the Beanstalk, David and Goliath, Chicken Little, Ulysses and Cyclops, Hansel and Gretel, William Tell, and the "Liberty or Death" speech of Patrick Henry.
   
   This volume serves not just as a guide to great works of moral education, but also to the great works of literature. The range of authors and sources is very impressive: Plato, the Brothers Grimm, Shakespeare, Mark Twain, the Bible, Robert Frost, C.S. Lewis, Abraham Lincoln, Longfellow, and so on.
   
   When reading these great stories, we improve our cultural literacy, and we refine our moral senses. Having been exposed to great writers, to great literature, and to great moral truths is a powerful combination. Young people as well as old will be motivated and inspired to live a more virtuous life after reading or re-reading these moral stories. In this age that promotes vice and that mocks virtue, an anthology such as this serves as a needed corrective.



5. This book will make you a better person. THe first chapter has stories teaching self-discipline. I haven't got farther than that yet, but I love it thus far! Great for children AND adults. What America needs today.

3 comments about Nauvoo Polygamy: "... but we called it celestial marriage".

1. When the marrying was all done, Brigham Young had 55 wives and Joseph Smith had a mere 37. Of course, Young had a lot more time in which to woo the ladies, since he outlived Smith by several decades and had the whole Utah Territory in which to operate. Smith, on the other hand, married in haste prior to his murder (with no time, apparently, to repent at leisure). When one wasn't enough, he would marry sisters on the same day.
   
   The Mormon Church today wants nothing to do with its polygamous past. The thing which made Mormonism both unique and roundly hated in the 19th Century has long been stashed in a closet somewhere in Salt Lake City. A recent LDS publication on Young mentions only one wife, thus jilting more than four dozen others. Today the Church champions "traditional marriage" - one man, one woman-and excommunicates any bigamous soul that comes within its sights.
   
   An odd result, since Smith, Young, John Taylor and other Church prophets were unequivocal in stating that the only way to get to the "highest degree of glory" was to live "the principle." Apparently God had an abrupt change of heart in 1892 when, in order to get in line for statehood, the Church said that old men could no longer add to their celestial bank account by marrying young girls.
   
   The author, George D. Smith, is the founder and publisher of Signature Books which produced this outstanding book. Recognizing that polygamy, especially its origins in the Church and its practice in Nauvoo prior to the Mormon exodus to Utah, has been a neglected part of LDS history, Smith has put together an extraordinary account of "celestial marriage" as practiced in Illinois.
   
   Rumors of Joseph Smith's interest in polygamy date to 1831. Also, a debate continues as to whether Fanny Alger, with whom Smith had, as Oliver Cowdrey put it, a "dirty, nasty, filthy affair" in 1832, should be considered one of Smith's wives. The author doesn't include Alger, instead concentrating on Smith's matrimonial exploits starting with Louisa Beaman in April 1841, over two years before Smith actually wrote down the "revelation" Smith received commanding he take additional wives.
   
   Smith (the author) details how Joseph talked women into marrying him, how he allowed others to marry multiple wives as a reward for loyalty, how the practice mushroomed in Nauvoo, and how Smith lied about having multiple wives at the same time he was marrying them. The efforts to keep the practice subrosa failed when other high ranking Church officials blew the whistle. The Nauvoo Expositor published its one and only edition notifying the world what many in Nauvoo already knew - Smith was a polygamist. Smith promptly had the paper's press destroyed, which lead to his arrest and, ultimately, to his lynching in the Carthage jail.
   
   The research done for this book is staggering. The author has mined every available source to come up with a definitive list of the 192 men who practiced "spiritual wifery" in Nauvoo, and the names of the hundreds of women whom they married. Additionally, he recounts how Joseph F. Smith, a future LDS President, obtained affidavits from many of the polygamous wives of Joseph in order to prove to Joseph Smith III that his father had, in fact, had numerous wives, something that Emma Smith, Joseph's "legal" wife and Joseph III's mother, categorically denied up to her death, despite evidence that she was aware of at least some of the multiple marriages.
   
   This is not history that the Mormon Church will embrace, or, likely, even acknowledge. Missionaries won't be distributing this book along with a free copy of The Book of Mormon. The fact that Joseph's wives included 13 women with then existing, living husbands, can't go over well with the faithful who have been schooled in the requirement of monogamous marriage. Obviously, it is not something likely to endear Joseph Smith and the LDS Church to outsiders.
   
   This book is not light reading for the casual aficionado of Mormon history. But for those who like to plumb the depths of this truly amazing religion it will prove invaluable.



2. Always remember that there are 2 sides to any story. While there is no doubt that Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and many others had multiple wives, there is a difference of opinion as to their motives.
   Perhaps before examining the seeming contradictions in modern Polygamy we should take a look at the great men such as Abraham in the bible who also had many wives. If we believe Abraham to be a prophet inspired of God, then we must too believe that God allowed Abraham to have many wives. Abraham would not have been a prophet if he was going so clearly against Gods will.
   
   If you want to find out what a Mormon really believes, try asking one.



3. Peter's review showed Mormon bias and no substance. It is purely HIS opinion with no evidence the author is wrong on anything. Mormon dodging issues. He says if you want to know what Mormons believe, ask one. Actually, Signature Books is an independent, non-conservative Mormon publisher. They are just Mormons who don't fall in lockstep with the standard, whitewashed, sanitized Mormonism that the LDS/Mormon Church leaders want to present. What Peter asserts is common with Mormons who fall in with the sanitized version, and advocated by the Mormon Church. It sounds nice on the surface, until one sees how Mormons very commonly do not answer questions about their most distinctive doctrines, etc, but evade questions about doctrines and practices that the Mormon Church wants to skip, gloss over, or not be upfront or honest about. Mormons are usually not open about more controversial doctrines and practices. This is especially true in what they don't volunteer without being asked. Some do not know, but far too many times, it is Mormon public relations at work from those who know, but conceal. The membership does these things sincerely thinking that's the right thing because it is what they are taught, etc., but that still doesn't justify it.
   The Mormon Church officially teaches, in their scriptures, and official literature:
   1) That the Mormon God the Father was once a mortal man on another earth, and BECAME one of many 'true Gods' and is married to 'our Mother in Heaven'/'Heavenly Mother', a goddess wife. Together, they have also been called "our heavenly parents".
   This is all in official Mormon/LDS Church materials like:
   
   - Mrs Dean M. Austin, "Comment: 'Missions and Life'", Ensign, July 1973
   - Eldred G. Smith, "Opposition in Order to Strengthen Us", Ensign Jan 1974
   - "A Sure Trumpet Sound: Quotations from President Lee", Ensign, Feb 1974
   - Neal A. Maxwell, "The Women of God", Ensign, May 1978
   - Elder/missionary John Kevin Young, "Feedback: 'Example examples'", New Era, March 1979
   - Ida Smith, "The Lord as a Role Model for Men and Women", Ensign Aug 1980
   - Ardeth G. Kapp, "A Time For Hope", Ensign, Nov 1986
   - Theodore M. Burton, "A Marriage to Last through Eternity", Ensign June 1987
   - Vaughn J. Featherstone, "A Champion of Youth", Ensign, Nov 1987
   - A. LaVar Thornock, "In Your Time Of Crisis", Ensign Feb 1988
   - "The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part A", "Lesson 9: Chastity and Modesty"
   - "Gospel Principles", pp. 9, 14, 18, 19, 23, and chapter 47 (1997/present edition)
   - "Primary 2: Choose the Right A", Lesson 3: "I AM A Child of God". Manual for a childrens class (it's like Sunday School)
   
   Christians would object to these doctrines as serious error concerning an essential doctrine of Christianity by quoting Psalm 90:2: "FROM *everlasting* to everlasting, you ARE GOD." This would mean that Yahweh (Commonly misrendered as Jehovah, but Yahweh is closer to this Hebrew name for God) always existed as God, from eternity past to eternity in the future. Always was, and always will be, God.
   2) That the Mormon Father, Son, and Holy Ghost "are three distinct personages, and THREE *GODS*." (Joseph Smith, quoted in Ensign, March 2008, p. 68). Christians would say that contradicts Isaiah 43-47, Deut. 6:4, and James 2:19, which teach that Yahweh is the only true God, none before or after, and Yahweh himself says "Is there A GOD besides ME? Yea, I do NOT know ANY." James says "You believe in ONE God? You do WELL." This also means no one can become a literal, true God (See #3 below), since there's only one, who is not married to a goddess wife.
   3) The Mormon Church also teaches that through Mormonism only, humanity can attain the station of literal, actual Godhood as Gods and goddesses, as other Gods and goddesses have done, including the Mormon God the Father and his wife, and become married Gods & goddesses begetting spirit offspring to populate earths, or have "continuation of the *seeds* forever" as in D&C 132 (See the references in #2, and Doctrine and Covenants 76, 132, LDS Book of Abraham 4-5, etc). They can become Gods and goddesses eventually IF they have faith and "after ALL [they] can do" (Book of Mormon: 2 Nephi 25:23), not before. Evangelical Christianity would be extremely concerned with this idea concerning being saved "after ALL [the works] we can do", since Ephesians 2:8-9 teaches individual salvation is "by grace through faith; it is the gift of God, NOT of works, so that no one can boast", which agrees with John 1:12; 3:16-36, Romans 4-5:1; 11:6, 1 John 5:13. Romans 11:6 says that grace and works CANNOT mix, or one destroys the other.
   Godhood is the reason they have temples and temple marriages. They say they affirm marriage, and families can be forever, but in Mormonism, families are ONLY forever if the members are temple married, and attain Godhood. This is in official literature, like their scriptures on Doctrine and Covenants (D&C) 132, Gospel Principles, chapter 45-47, etc.
   To the public they show the nice temples, and the bare idea of 'eternal families', but they conceal what goes on in the temples, and the doctrines underpinning the *ultimate goal* of Mormon temples (which are not the same as their local chapels), which is mandatory Godhood in order to have eternal families (If the husband or wife doesn't make it, the *entire* family ends up without salvation as an eternal family unit. The offspring can marry and receive Godhood, but he or she won't be connected as a family to their parents).
   Anyway, I could go on. THIS is what they RARELY tell you, even if you ask. My questions, and even clear quotes have been ignored, dodged, evaded, softened to something more palatable to the public, but only a few times was it admitted upfront, or at all.
   ***Then again, Boyd K. Packer, now the President of the Mormon 12 Apostles, gave a speech to Mormon mission presidents that even if a Mormon does not 'have a testimony' that Mormonism is true, 'bear your testimony' anyways, since the gaining of a testimony is in the bearing of one. That is false on at least two counts- 1) It emotionally conditions the person, and they self manipulate themselves (Mormon testimonies are emotional, as in D&C 9 & Moroni 10 in their scriptures and many official and unofficial Mormon references in the Ensign, etc.), and 2) It is LYING to the other person, or people. If you say you believe something when you don't, you are LYING, and deceiving those persons, as well.
   (Boyd K. Packer, "The Candle of the Lord", in the official Ensign magazine of the Mormon Church, January 1983)
   I heard a cassette tape of this speech before it was in the Ensign and thought it was 'unofficial', so I my then-Mormon faith wasn't shaken (though I did disagree, and was bothered by his teaching here), but after I left the Mormon Church, I saw it in the Ensign. I also have found a more recent official Ensign reference from another Mormon leader that affirms this as well.
   *** Mormon apologist (defender), author, and a professor at Mormon Church Owned-BYU, Robert Millet told a BYU class of Mormons preparing to be misisonaries that they aren't obligated to answer others' questions if they deem them unworthy of answering. They can answer the other person with what they think the non-Mormon should have asked, etc. This can be seen and heard on YouTube under "Lying for the Lord" posted by 'jhuston7' found here:
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMJvqBq_Qa8
   
   The entire speech by Millet is here:
   http://newsnet.byu.edu/video/18773/video.asx
   
   There's much more to what he says, but I'll keep it brief since I give a link.
   *** Apostle BK Packer also stated at a Mormon "Church Educational System Religious Educators' Symposium":
   "You seminary teachers and some of you institute and BYU men will be teaching the history of the Church this school year. This is an unparalleled opportunity in the lives of your students to increase their faith and testimony of the divinity of this work. Your objective should be that they will see the hand of the Lord in every hour and every moment of the Church from its beginning till now. ...
   "Church history can be so interesting and so inspiring as to be a very powerful tool indeed for building faith. If not properly written or properly taught, it may be a faith destroyer. ...
   "There is a temptation for the writer or the teacher of Church history to want to tell everything, whether it is worthy or faith promoting or not. ...
   "Some things that are true are not very useful. ...
   "That historian or scholar who delights in pointing out the weaknesses and frailties of present or past leaders destroys faith. A destroyer of faith -- particularly one within the Church, and more particularly one who is employed specifically to build faith -- places himself in great spiritual jeopardy. He is serving the wrong master, and unless he repents, he will not be among the faithful in the eternities. ...
   In the Church we are not neutral. We are one-sided. There is a war going on and we are engaged in it."
   (From "The Mantle Is Far, Far Greater Than the Intellect", a lecture by Boyd K. Packer, delivered at the Fifth Annual Church Educational System Religious Educators' Symposium, August 22, 1981, Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah. Official transcript: Brigham Young University Studies, Summer 1981. Online PDF format here: http://byustudies.byu.edu/Products/MoreInfoPage/MoreInfo.aspx?Type=7&ProdID=1145)
   
   This shows he wants Mormons to not only self condition & self manipulate themselves, and lie, but also distort true history by self-censoring their work, so that's another way the Mormon Church leadership gives a slanted, "one-sided" picture that you cannot trust for a full picture.
   The Mormon Church wants its members and those members who write about the Mormon Church to give a sugar-coated version of Mormonism. How can anyone justifiably trust such an organization? In reality, no one can justifiably do so.
   *** ALL the sources I referenced are official, and I got almost all of them off of their own main church website. Living apostle Russell M. Ballard wrote me in 1999 and said, after details and quotes from Mormon scriptures, the D&C, that ALL Mormon/LDS Church materials, like manuals, etc., "are OFFICIAL and REPRESENT the Church." Therefore, when any church literature, whether the Ensign, Gospel Principles, whatever, speaks doctrinally or otherwise, it "represents" the "official' position of the Mormon Church (The only possible limited exception is that the official Mormon Church source specifically states something isn't necessarily the official position. Even then, it would not be expected that any of that would contradict official positions of the LDS Church). I went through several issues in "search" on their official church website (the main church site), and can document the above doctrinal positions of the Mormon Church, and much more, even further.
   Please, do not think by asking Mormons, you will get the full story at all.
   Please beware of the public relations picture of the Mormon Church. It will conceal and evade (with only rare exceptions). Good websites concerning Mormonism (not perfect, but very good), are: www.MRM.org, www.UTLM.org, www.LHVM.org.
   It is not what the Mormon Church and its members say, but what they leave out, that will really reveal to you what they actually teach and practice. Watch for definitions, as well. They can say many things, but the meanings are VASTLY different. What they could say and would on the surface, agree with a conservative Baptist Sunday school or sermon, would not be acceptable if the words they say are defined plainly and the real differences taught openly.
   I encourage you to check the book out for yourselves, and go beyond the carefully crafted rosy image.
   The full truth of Mormonism will not be possible with controlled disinformation and concealment.

5 comments about Relationships for Dummies.

1. Dr. Kate uses real time language to make relationships come alive and be more than just some treacherous rite of passage. Her advice is specific, exploratory and helpful in making relationships living breathing things we need to care for in order to make them blossom and grow, or not.



2. I bought this book because I'm in my very first relationship, and I felt totally lost and confused as to if what I was doing right/wrong or if it even mattered. But after reading it, it's targeted more towards people having problems in their relationships, or people who can't find a date, and not necessarily just people who are confused and want tips or clues.
   It really focuses on good communication, and has excellent advice in that area. If you're a married couple with problems, or a two people in a long term relationship wanting to move ahead, or someone who's always picking the wrong guy, this book would be perfect for you. But if you're like me and just want to know how to convey feelings for your partner without outright saying them, or try to figure out your pertner's feelings/intentions by their actions, this book isn't for you. There's a great chapter for that in "Body Language for Dummies" and I was hoping this book would expand on that, but this book kinda skips over the whole physiological aspect of dating/relationships.



3. I enjoyed reading this book. I have a wonderful Fiance who treats me like a princess ( something I've never had before).
   Before he came along, I was always in unhealthy relationships and unfortunately when I finally left that guy and found this wonderful man I brought some of my "unhealthy stuff" into this new relationship. Needless to say he's a very patient and understanding man.
   
   He's taught me so much about love, patience, trust, and so much more. I knew that I found the perfect man, my problem was how to not lose him.
   
   I picked up this great book and really soaked up alot of info that I plan on using on my relationship.
   
   Communication is definitely the key.
   
   Would definitely reccommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their relationship.
   
   Excellent and very well written book!!!



4. went and highlighted for the BF. Lot of DUHHHH moments in it. It's an okay book I think I laughed at most of it.



5. I was really offended by Kate Wachs's assumptions about women and men in this book. She paints with a very broad brush and presents hard and fast rules (yes, think "The Rules") that are based on some very stereotypical and sexist assumptions about men and women. The following quotes regarding women and age are just the tip of the iceberg:
   
   "When the woman is less than 30, she's outnumbered by men. But when she's in her mid to late 30's she begins to feel the pinch, especially if she tends to date men a little older than her. When she's in her late 30's, she'll begin to experience rejection from men who want to marry a younger woman who can make babies longer."
   
   Make babies? Who even talks like that, let alone assumes that this is everywoman's (and everyman's) relationship goal? I find the notion of applying odds to relationships especially problematic because it does not take into account compatibility, or personal growth and readiness for intimacy -- all else is most definitely NOT equal here. Nor is my dating pool comprised of all living men of a certain age! I don't care so much about the size of my dating pool as I do about the quality of my relationship. On which Kate Wachs has this to say:
   
   "A woman should be especially careful to use the time before age 35 productively. A woman has about 8 prime years - from age 27+, when she matures, until 35, when the odds get tougher. So don't waste any time on a man who is afraid of marriage.... keep your options open by dating more than one person at a time, subtly allowing the men to compete with one another. That's especially true if you are 27+ or if your preferred partner is fearful of marriage...."
   
   I can't think of any worse relationship advice. Undermine intimacy, play games, make men insecure so they want to marry you! Seriously?!
   
   I bought my copy for 1 cent used, and I consider it way overpriced.

5 comments about The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love.

1. I've read all of Pia's books. They are all great, especially the first one (Facing CoDependence) and this one. The first book explains the symptums and the mechanics of how and why. This book drills into details of the key concepts from the first book. It touches the how and why briefly, but focuses on the real life examples of dysfunctional behaviors and contrasting it to functional behaviors. This book really manifests the concepts in the first book into practices and guidelines.

   This book turns out to be a great handbook even for parenting skills.

   I also attended a few CoDA meetings. Those meetings are good, but Pia's books helped me much more.

   I highly recommend Pia's books, I also recommend reading them in the order of published dates.




2. I've read other books on co dependency and this one has a unique approach that was developed in The Meadows in Wickenburg, Ariz. I think it is an excellent approach to communication skills and ways of relating that are less toxic and worth reading and trying. I will recommend it to my clients - so many of whom suffer from this condition. Deb



3. This is the book I'd want everybody to read and that I think everybody can learn from to become a happier, healthier partner. No matter whether you think you are already perfectly healthy and functional or not, this book will brush up your already good relational skills at worst or set you on the road to becoming a functional partner at best.
   
   The key to being intimate as much as possible is to understand that love is a continuum ranging from very warm regard to something as theoretically simple as respect. Pia says that holding on to the other person's inherent worth even in difficult situations, being respectful towards them (as well as yourself of course) is what enables you to be intimate even if you disagree or have been hurt by your partner.
   
   How do you achieve this? Pia gives you tools to show love and respect towards yourself and your partner: boundaries for the physical as well as the intellectual/emotional. Just learning about the speaking and listening boundaries would have made the book worthwhile for me. Do you know how to speak and listen in a functional manner? I'd postulate that most of us tend to be busy formulating a response/defense when listening to our partner in an argument. And conversely when we are the one speaking we will attempt to at least indirectly and covertly manipulate our partner so that he or she agrees with us. I didn't even know that there was an option to this behavior. I didn't know that it could and should be done differently. I honestly thought that my partner and I were supposed to compromise on any issue and that if we didn't or couldn't one of us was wrong and by implication bad. Oh boy, have I learned differently! And I am so glad I did, too.
   
   There would have been two problems with the book for me:
   Number 1 is right at the beginning. In the introduction Pia talks very emphatically about her relationship to the christian god and again does so in chapter 1. If that bothers you try to ignore it and go on reading because then she lets off.
   Number 2 is the fact that I believe if I hadn't had additional instruction on Pia's ideas through individual therapy and workshops on boundaries I would not have learned to apply her ideas to my own life. I don't think it's the book's fault but my own. Even before reading this book I knew a lot about myself, my issues, my issues in interaction with other people but it seemed to me that the information was in bits and pieces in different `rooms' in my head and I just couldn't fit it together into a coherent picture. Only through the additional instruction in therapy, the workshops and in many talks with my closest girl-friend (who has also read the books and gone to the workshops etc.) did I begin to get an understanding of boundaries, the issues of my codependence and my problem with shame. So keep in mind that you may want to read this book with a friend and discuss it to help you understand it better.



4. Excellent book for both layman and professionals for overcoming a dysfunctional childhood. Compassionately written narrative of origins of the inability to form healthy relationships. Complete with examples of how to work through the constraints to extending and experiencing respect, love, compassion, and intimacy.



5. Offers great insights that are realistic and aligns with the feelings of today's women. Marriage is hard work, but serves a much different role in our lives than that of our Mothers.

5 comments about Fascinating Womanhood.

1. This is a wonderful book to improve one's marriage, or to strengthen it. It shows women how to be content with their marriage and to love their husband. it goes back to basic bible principles (Proverbs woman, anyone?)to show what we women how to properly behave and treat our husbands.
   People have argued that this book tells you not to be yourself. That may be, but probably means their characters NEED changing, and they don't want to go though the effort of fixing that.
   Great book!



2. This book was definitely not for me. I would have appreciated some biblical foundations on where some of these opinions of womanhood come from. Then, maybe would be open to receiving some advice on what materials I should or shouldn't wear to please my husband. I'm all for serving and respecting my husband, but I am not defined by that. I'm defined by who God says I am, not by how much my husband shows affection towards me and loves me. If you are going to put this book into your Spirit, please know that God loves you more than your husband could ever love you, and he will show you by faith in JESUS in the LIVING WORD of GOD (bible), how to love and honor your husband.



3. What a wonderful book,principles that are Christ like,learning to treat our spouses and children with respect,getting back to basics and living these principles in our busy life styles, isen't easy at first,but it does work.Even our children will see and feel love in the home,when these principles are applied.
   This book is a teaching tool,a course,a beacon for any woman,it helps women to be humble,to serve her family members with love.This book has a lot of the answers to marital problems,it is well worth a read.I recommend it fully,what has any woman got to lose?



4. I loved this book when I was younger, but not now. Most of the advice in this book is excellent, but some is dangerous garbage. Men who truly worship their woman really worship their selves and what their woman gives them. I have often fervently wished some Godly man would write a book about how men can uphold their side of marriage, and I just recently read it. It is called, "Sex, Men, and God", by Douglas Weiss. God must come first for a relationship to last.



5. I was a bit skeptical when I read about this book, and laughed at some of the ideas. But I was drawn in. I haven't applied everything, as some of it is a bit outdated. But I have been working on using the character principals, and it has worked wonders! I am not turning into a doormat for anyone, but giving a little respect to our husbands never hurts!

5 comments about How to Fall out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That Hurts--and Find the Love That Heals....

1. This book helped me a great deal with my own relationship problems. I also reccomend Confusing Love with Obsession by John D. Moore



2. Face it ... when you buy this book on how to fall out of love, chances are you are hurting. This book takes a behaviorist approach to breaking an obsessive connection to a person who you still love but who, for whatever reason, is no longer available to you.
   
   There's an old joke that says that every time a dog salivates, a behaviorist psychologist somewhere has to quick run and ring a bell. But there is this ... the behaviorist approach can have quick positive results in certain situations, and rescuing people from helpless love is one of those situation. Other books on this topic seem to spend all their time endlessly describing the behaviors of people who are compulsive-obsessive about someone. This little book gets right down to cases, giving guidelines for a step by step practical program to help get your mind off that "special person" who occupied it hundreds of times a day.
   
   Beginning with this technique of "thought stopping", the authors continue with a series of steps to take the reader through the process of breaking the old connection and forming a connection with a new partner successfully. Those who love obsessively have experienced the terrible situation where the former lover that you can't forget becomes a "third wheel" on a new romance. This book shows, step by step, how that can be prevented as well.
   
   All in all, a very good practical approach to a vexing problem that many people who love deeply will face at some time in their lives.



3. I think the book gives good practical tips on how to get someone off your mind and heart.



4. I THOUGHT THE VISUALIZATION EXERCISE WAS ' A BREATH OF FRESH AIR'. If you are love addicted and need help besides counseling and a support group this book may be helpful to you as well as other books on ending codependency.



5. This book was extemely useful for me . it is perfect to read.
   thanks for the author.

5 comments about Charlie Anderson.

1. Having to trudge back and forth between parents into different worlds can be very upsetting to a child of a divorce. The transition is emotionally charged and sometimes bringing the child to depression - especially if the child cannot identify their life with any other children. The mix of personalities and a happy life that Charlie Anderson leads transitioning between two families is something any young child can identify with and derive comfort from. I know my child did.



2. Although the story should be a great read for children having difficulties with split families. The page where Elizabeth ask "Who do you love the best," could plant in a childs mind that one must make a choice as to which parent do you love the best, or even cause the child to wonder if he/she is loved the "best". The book would have been excellent had it not been for this one page. I suggest it be re-written.



3. This book was recommended to me by a teacher friend. I like this story to teach predictions while teaching comprehension strategies.



4. I thought this book was about cats and friendship with cats, until I read further and realized this book had an underlying message. The message is that Charlie is a lucky cat just like Elizabeth and Sarah. Elizabeth and Sarah are children of divorced parents and have to spend half of their time with each divorced parent. I understand that this is a fact for many children and they must make the best of it, but I wouldn't exactly say they were "lucky"! I quickly made up my own words when I was reading this story to my own child , so that she wouldn't be subject to the underlying theme of the book. How sad, that the author feels that she must tell children they are lucky if their parents get divorced. Children of divorce know it's not true and this book is very patronizing in my mind. Skip it.



5. Charlie Anderson is a wonderful book that should be in every elementary school library and in the home of every child who has parents who don't live together. Charlie Anderson is a cat, who like the little girls in the story has two homes, two beds, and two families who love him.