5 comments about The Tiger's Child.

1. This is a follow up of One Child, I could not put this down. I wanted to she how Tory's impact affected her. It does go over in the first couple of chapter's some of the history of the child but If you read One Child first it explains a lot more of her past and give you a true understanding.



2. This is the sequel to One Child so it's best to read that one first. This book is fantastic. I loved it. It continue's the story about Shelia as a teenager and how she had blocked a lot of her childhood out. Her memories came back the more she talked with Torey. Also worked with Torey with some disturbed kids which was good for awhile. This book tells how Shelia overcame her very abusive childhood and how Torey encouraged and helped her long after she left her class. If you read "One Child," then you must read this one!
   
   Karen Arlettaz Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry"



3. Sad story, will make you cry. Too bad some children have parents that abuse them and make them suffer.



4. In "One Child," Hayden first told the story of Sheila, a seriously abused, violent six-year-old who was placed in her special ed classroom as she awaited placement in a state mental hospital for setting a younger child on fire.
   
   Although just about everyone else -- including her own alcoholic father -- had given up on Sheila, Hayden realized the little girl was keenly intelligent. Doggedly, she began testing and teaching Sheila, all the while showing her patience, love and understanding. And despite the occasional setback, within months, Sheila was an entirely different child.
   
   Then the school year ended, Hayden took a different job out of state, and she lost touch with Sheila. Despite searching for her former student, Hayden was unable to connect -- until a coincidence reunited the two when Sheila was 13. Hayden was ecstatic -- and Sheila claimed not to remember the time they'd spent together.
   
   Undeterred, Hayden persisted, inviting Sheila to help out with a summer program for disturbed children she and another clinician were running. Soon the bond they'd once had seemed resurrected. Yet each time Torey and Sheila's friendship seemed to be going smoothly, something happened to test it fiercely -- interference from Sheila's father, or a facet of Sheila's own unpredictable adolescent persona. Despite her best intentions, Hayden often wondered why she persisted -- was there any point? Was she hurting Sheila more than she helped?
   
   Hayden's experiences with Sheila and her other students serve as complex and engrossing material for this book, a simple yet realistic portrait of the world's ugliness -- and the few, stubborn individuals who are determined to make a difference in others' lives.



5. I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GREAT BOOK AND I RECEIVED IT FAIRLY QUICKLY AND IN GOOD CONDITION. I WAS EXTREMELY PLEASED!

2 comments about The Missing Manatee.

1. My reading teacher read this book to my class before my school met Cynthia DeFelice. I was not a person who liked mystery books, until my teatcher read this book to my class. This is a book I recamend for only people that can read a novle. This is a wonderful book.



2. From a teacher and graduate student's view point, I thought this was an awesome book. It was full of adventure and suspense. Skeet was on a mission and he was going to let nobody stop him. I think this would be an awesome book to use as a teacher read aloud and/or used as a "cliffhanger" activity. His Memaw added a touch of humor to the story which made it even better. Finally, the end had a surprising twist to it and one that I wasn't expecting. This was a very fun story to read.

2 comments about A Regular Guy: Growing up with Autism.

1. I loved this book. The story of the Shumaker family's journey with Matthew, their autistic son, was so fascinating and well written that I felt as if I was part of the Shumaker family as I read. I couldn't put it down and ended up finishing it in one sitting. Life with Matthew is not always easy, but Ms. Shumaker's descriptions kept a smile on my face as I traveled the journey of adapting to a full and rich life with a son who is very special. I highly recommend it.



2. I couldn't put down "A Regular Guy." I was very moved, I laughed, I cried, and I was educated. Having a disability or being with someone you love who has one is not easy to understand for those of us who aren't in that situation. I thought Laura's book brought that experience to light with all the joy and pain. While it's apparent that it has been a tremendous struggle for the family, it's obvious that the love the family shares has made them so much stronger and a tighter unit.

5 comments about You're Smarter Than You Look: Uncomplicating Relationships in Complicated Times.

1. In her characteristic sarcastic wit and dry humor style, Judge Judy addresses some serious topics with this entertaining book. Bringing her perspective from many years of adjudicating Family Court issues, Ms. Sheindlin could qualify as a psychiatrist as much as she is a judge. Written in a "Dear Abby" format, Judy answers many letters apparently written to her regarding family disputes over the years; an interesting twist, though, is that you get to read both of the disputing parties view on the issues, with Judy then rendering her opinion and legal advice.
   There is, however, a slight undertone of "male bashing" throughout which, although perhaps occassionally justified, gets a bit annoying, and leads me to believe that the intended audience for this book is largely female. But anyone concerned about the social ills afflicting family life in the US will benefit from Judge Judy's unique viewpoints and her genuine attempt to improve the current status quo. Judge Judy, you go girl!!!



2. My daddy, Johnnie Barker, just loves Judge Judy. I ordered this book for him. Not a huge reader, he read this from cover to cover!



3. This excellent book is an entertaining insight into the character of the Judge we see on TV. We always knew that common sense was her strong point.



4. I adore this woman....and all her books. This one is very good for young people thinking about doing something financially stupid in a relationship...Team Judge Judy up with Dr. Laura for Vice President and America has a winning ticket! Go, "girls"!



5. I enjoy watching her show better than reading the book. However, the book is very simple and good for young people.

5 comments about Relationships for Dummies.

1. Dr. Kate uses real time language to make relationships come alive and be more than just some treacherous rite of passage. Her advice is specific, exploratory and helpful in making relationships living breathing things we need to care for in order to make them blossom and grow, or not.



2. I bought this book because I'm in my very first relationship, and I felt totally lost and confused as to if what I was doing right/wrong or if it even mattered. But after reading it, it's targeted more towards people having problems in their relationships, or people who can't find a date, and not necessarily just people who are confused and want tips or clues.
   It really focuses on good communication, and has excellent advice in that area. If you're a married couple with problems, or a two people in a long term relationship wanting to move ahead, or someone who's always picking the wrong guy, this book would be perfect for you. But if you're like me and just want to know how to convey feelings for your partner without outright saying them, or try to figure out your pertner's feelings/intentions by their actions, this book isn't for you. There's a great chapter for that in "Body Language for Dummies" and I was hoping this book would expand on that, but this book kinda skips over the whole physiological aspect of dating/relationships.



3. I enjoyed reading this book. I have a wonderful Fiance who treats me like a princess ( something I've never had before).
   Before he came along, I was always in unhealthy relationships and unfortunately when I finally left that guy and found this wonderful man I brought some of my "unhealthy stuff" into this new relationship. Needless to say he's a very patient and understanding man.
   
   He's taught me so much about love, patience, trust, and so much more. I knew that I found the perfect man, my problem was how to not lose him.
   
   I picked up this great book and really soaked up alot of info that I plan on using on my relationship.
   
   Communication is definitely the key.
   
   Would definitely reccommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their relationship.
   
   Excellent and very well written book!!!



4. went and highlighted for the BF. Lot of DUHHHH moments in it. It's an okay book I think I laughed at most of it.



5. I was really offended by Kate Wachs's assumptions about women and men in this book. She paints with a very broad brush and presents hard and fast rules (yes, think "The Rules") that are based on some very stereotypical and sexist assumptions about men and women. The following quotes regarding women and age are just the tip of the iceberg:
   
   "When the woman is less than 30, she's outnumbered by men. But when she's in her mid to late 30's she begins to feel the pinch, especially if she tends to date men a little older than her. When she's in her late 30's, she'll begin to experience rejection from men who want to marry a younger woman who can make babies longer."
   
   Make babies? Who even talks like that, let alone assumes that this is everywoman's (and everyman's) relationship goal? I find the notion of applying odds to relationships especially problematic because it does not take into account compatibility, or personal growth and readiness for intimacy -- all else is most definitely NOT equal here. Nor is my dating pool comprised of all living men of a certain age! I don't care so much about the size of my dating pool as I do about the quality of my relationship. On which Kate Wachs has this to say:
   
   "A woman should be especially careful to use the time before age 35 productively. A woman has about 8 prime years - from age 27+, when she matures, until 35, when the odds get tougher. So don't waste any time on a man who is afraid of marriage.... keep your options open by dating more than one person at a time, subtly allowing the men to compete with one another. That's especially true if you are 27+ or if your preferred partner is fearful of marriage...."
   
   I can't think of any worse relationship advice. Undermine intimacy, play games, make men insecure so they want to marry you! Seriously?!
   
   I bought my copy for 1 cent used, and I consider it way overpriced.

5 comments about How to Make Someone Love You Forever! In 90 Minutes or Less.

1. I was 39 years old when I read this book. I had never been married, and had been single for several years. By my 40th birthday I had met the man of my dreams and was sporting a beautiful 2 carat diamond engagement ring! I used the tools in this book to find my best friend, soul mate, partner. I have never been so happy and so in love. Thank-you Nick Boothman for your book which taught me that I was always choosing the wrong man and how to choose the right one!!!



2. Surely this book has taken niche marketing too far. I know that in the modern age companies have realised that limited sales to smaller markets can still be a cost-effective way of selling; a book (or any other product) doesn't always have to be a mega-seller to make it worthwhile from the seller's point of view. With the publication of this book, though, I think the publishers must realise they've hit the wall. Making a great first impression is all very well, but how many people with 90 minutes or less to live are going to care about building a lasting relationship?



3. After reading this book my eyes were opened to what has been in front of me all along. This book just put everything into words so that it didn't seem so confusing. Wonderful scenarios, examples and awesome information.



4. This book is okay and does serve a purpose.This is a book to give you some guidelines on dating for men and women.Its all commen sense here.Nothing here that hasnt been printed in other dating type books.Has some ideas.
   
   The author doesnt stay focused for long.He must have remembered things as he was writing.Its a distraction.
   
   For men,if you want good books on how to meet women I recommend these:
   1)"Understanding women" By Romy Miller.
   2)How to pick up girls!" By Eric Weber.
   3)"The pocket idiots guide to getting girls". By Lisa Altalida.
   4)Booby trapped:men beware! The dirty seven sisters.(the author alse wrote a similar book for women).You can buy all these books right here.



5. I sat next to Mr. Nicholas Boothman on an airliner while on vacation this summer. We talked about many things and he gave me his card. I came here and bought this book. After reading it and walking it out in my life, I am enraptured by the various kinds of positive responses that we have. I say "we" because it's all about the other person's enjoyment of me, and my enjoyment of them! Romantic or not, my choice in the proposition. I lose my self-conciousness as we become one. I am now using Nicholas' "Science of Love" as I call it here, to find the most beautiful woman in the world, to be my "Matched Opposite"! Release your fear to find LOVE. To sum this up, I say, BUY THE BOOK NOW, READ IT, and DO IT! (;D)
   Go to his web at http://www.nicholasboothman.com and find out more...

5 comments about The Nest Newlywed Handbook: An Owner's Manual for Modern Married Life.

1. Love this book- I am a subscriber to 'The Nest' web-site and when I found this book for sale, I bought one for myself. As a woman who is in the midst of her own wedding planning and has 6 weddings to attend this summer alone, I thought it would make a very nice compliment to a wedding gift or as a bridal shower gift. I tucked the envelope of cash into the inside cover to make the cash wedding gift a little more personal. Tons of great tips for after all the craziness of the wedding is over and the reality of building a future together sinks in. My girlfriend said she took it with her on the plane to their honeymoon and loved it, and her husband appreciated it too. There are so many wedding guides and planners, but not many practical books for AFTER the big day! Great tips on money merging, decorating for BOTH your tastes, in-laws, etc., and it is modern and well designed. Great gift, I bought 6!



2. I've been reading this on and off with my husband of 8 months during long car trips and it's been a really good conversation starter. The open ended question lists are a great way of finding things out about your spouse that I wouldn't have thought to ask directly. A fun read.



3. The Nest book for newlyweds is a great book for those in a committed relationship or marriage. The practical tips are helpful and the links are a great way to go further. I don't find the short comments and feedback from nesters is helpful but overall the book is essential! I love the size and colorful pages.



4. The Nest Newlywed Handbook is a fun an informative read. It is well organized, and has sound advice about money, keeping house, friends, family, sex, and kids. The checklists and guides on the green-colored pages in the book are particularly useful--they include a changing your name checklist, a glossary of investing terms, a tax guide, a home-buying guide, and more. Most of all, however, the book is written and presented in a way that make it fun to read.
   
   Other reviewers have covered the book's assets, so I won't go into any more detail here. But the Nest Newlywed Handbook had a few major flaws that I think should be mentioned and that caused me to dock an otherwise 4-star rating to a 3-star rating.
   
   -The book is obviously written for those who are at least moderately well-off financially. It is unlikely that couples who are struggling to make ends meet will find this book very useful. This is not surprising given the demographics of people who frequent sites such as The Knot and The Nest, but is still disappointing.
   
   -This one is not a flaw so much as a warning--while the book has good coverage of money issues, it should not be considered (and is not meant to be) a complete guide to your finances. I would recommend Suze Orman's Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke as a better introduction to money matters.
   
   -Wives with serious in-law issues will find this section of the book useless. While a few intense situations are covered, most of the advice is geared towards minor quibbles (e.g. "Mother-in-law constantly buys me preppy clothes that she wishes I would wear"). More importantly, even the advice on some of these peccadillos is inane. While I would be comforted to believe that a mother-in-law who makes comments about her daughter-in-law's weight is simply "self-conscious about her appearance and is projecting her low self-esteem," this reminds me of the similarly well-meaning but useless advice parents give their children about junior high bullies.
   
   -These last two complaints may appear to be minor, but I found these mistakes serious enough to nitpick. In the "Sex" chapter, the author suggests that one way to liven up your love life is to "Call your honey's boss and schedule a day off for him or her. When the day rolls around, surprise your spouse with the no-work news and a day's worth of things you plan to do...together." I hope I don't have to list all the potential dangers of calling your husband's boss to schedule a day off for him, especially when the reason is less than legitimate. Furthermore, it's simply inappropriate.
   
   -In the "Kids" chapter, the author treats the topic of miscarriages with blatant insensitivity. If you miscarry early in your pregnancy, the author advises "[D]on't worry. Be upbeat, try again, and consider your false alarm a practice run." But, the author continues generously, if you miscarry later in your pregnancy, it's okay to be upset. The idea of treating a miscarriage as a "false alarm" or "practice run" at any stage of the pregnancy is against all medical and psychological advice I have heard about dealing with a miscarriage, and also offends me personally.
   
   Overall, I can't deny that The Nest Newlywed Handbook was a fun read. But it contains too many flaws to make it a great book.



5. I don't think that I am considered a "newlywed" any longer. That being said, I love "The Nest" magazine and thought this would be a great addition to my extensive book collection. There are so many wonderful strategies for all kinds of personalities to help with everything from the not so big of decorating, frustrating family situations to the BIG, BIG challenges of life of finances. With tips, thoughts, and how it worked for me exerpts. This is now the "card" that will be attached to EVERY wedding gift I give from here on out!!!

5 comments about Fear of Intimacy.

1. Summary - This is a clinical psych textbook. It is designed to introduce new psychotherapists to the array of pathology they will encounter in field practice in couples and relationship counseling. For a general understanding of how, in our pursuit of intimacy, we get sidetracked and sabotaged by our unconscious, for non-therapists, books on Transactional Analysis (TA) and its more mature offshoot, Redecision Therapy are a better bet. This book touches and adds to issues raised by David Deida, who has contributed the most evolved books on relationship as a means of spiritual growth at this time.
   
   Fear of Intimacy
   Robert Firestone & Joyce Catlett (both in So. Cal)
   
   David Deida says, "We long for the same fullness of bliss that we never seem to have time to offer. We complain about our lives and blame others, until we realize that right now, we are making love-or we are refusing-right now."
   
   Fear of Intimacy offers several insights that can be used as tools to move towards intimacy with the universe as Deida proposes.
   
   The book has several headlines. One is "our defenses are the illness." The book describes how defenses are formed. Our primary defense [are formed] at a time when the child would be in great danger if he or she was abandoned by the parent. ...[The child] is afraid that if they react with emotional integrity, if they really cry out, if they really ask, if they really scream for help, that it won't come, and they will be in the same panicky, frightened state [forever]" (36). Rather then be frightened forever, the child is forced to go away from the pain of 3D reality and into a fantasy world of some kind. They go into a fiction, into a delusion, hug a teddy bear or puppy, numb out, obsess on substances, etc. "In this [way] people's defenses formed under painful circumstances, become the core of their neurosis..." (35). This is the clearest language I've seen for how unresolved traumas are "put into us" as kids.
   
   The idea of "defenses are our illness" stimulated me to check to see if defendedness could be measured by muscle testing. Sure enuf, it can. As Spirit sees it, Defendedness appears to be on a scale of 1000. John-Roger (msia.org) is the least defended person I know and perhaps one of the least defended persons ever. He measures at zero by my checking. It's possible to measure your own Defendedness.
   
   The book excels on "Why do we defend?" Then it shows how defenses impact relationships. Defenses play into relationships this way, "...people tend to select partners who are like people in their own early lives [because] their defenses are appropriate [to them]"(39) If wife is like birth mother, then "...it leaves a person's defense system intact" (39). Hence the phenomena of the man who marries a woman then complains, "You're just like my mother!" The authors propose that in the unexamined areas of our life, "we "feel relaxed [and familiar] when our defenses are appropriate" (69). People who carry a primarily negative self-image from childhood are a particular focus of the book.
   
   The book makes a nice segue to Deida when it says things like, "Distortions of self, others and the world, inherent in being defended, are introduced into new relationships... Most people end up fighting ghosts [of the past] rather than struggling with [growth:] personal gratification and self-actualization" (63). The early part of the book lays out patterns of psychological defense so that readers can find their own dysfunction and dysfunctional family pattern, if they stumble across a shoe that fits.
   
   Readers are led early on to an insight that 99% of everyone-thruout human history-has, as a child, suffered physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional neglect or some combination of the three. This simply goes with growing up on a planet where the sins of the parents are visited on the children. On this, the book is refreshingly frank. "The ideal conditions favoring a secure attachment [to an early care giver] rarely exist [anywhere]. All children, to varying degrees, suffer emotional pain and anxiety that necessitate the building of defenses" (65). The damaged condition of therapists and clients-that's everyone pretty much- is simply a given, not a cause for blame or for victim pride.
   
   Moving on thru much ground the book covers, the authors say something new to me. "Once a person is damaged, he or she formulates defenses that not only preclude getting hurt again but also ward off loving responses." "...The truth is that mature love-kindness, respect, sensitivity, and affectionate treatment-is not only difficult to find but is [also] difficult to tolerate or accept [if negative self-concepts are held on to]." (310). The idea that we build defenses is old. The idea that we sabotage unconditionally loving gestures directed at us, because it would require us to give up familiar negative self-images, is not a common insight and is one that is conspicuous by its absence in my reading of classic Transactional Analysis literature
   
   The book emphasizes how in childhood we are handed a provisional personality that integrates us into the family system. John Bradshaw used to display a hanging mobile from the ceiling in his televised workshops to show his conception of the family system, how every part has its place, is moving and affects every other part one way or another.
   
   The books says, to the degree our provisional family personality was negative, was accepted by us, and became familiar, to that extent we tend to defend it from loving gestures that would cause us to rethink our view of ourself. The book is highly cognizant of the wisdom of family systems that if we do not review, revise, update and upgrade the personality handed to us early in our life in our family of origin, then we will tend to replicate our family dynamic in relationships, coupling, and marriage.
   
   Much of the rest of the book works in the area where couples transition from being in love and cherishing each other; and then, transition to distance, routinized behavior, loss of passion, complacency or even fighting and violence. The books is good about tracking how couples move out of initial positive bloom of love to a dysfunctional relationships. "In spite of their stated desire for self-affirmation, people seek confirmation for their negative provisional identity, developed in the context of the [early] family" (304).
   
   The book gives a lot of case studies. It proposes a variation of voice dialogue to unearth and expose the negative self-talk and give lots of examples of how they do this. The book embraces the topic of voice dialogue and quotes Christopher Lasch, "The distinguishing character of selfhood...is not rationality; rather, the critical awareness of man's divided nature." The book's take on unearthing negative self talk is more talk-therapy than inner-child related. See TA, Voice Dialogue or the Three Selves for the more solution-oriented approaches to conversing with your inner "parts."
   
   Addictions and dysfunctional fantasy life, including masturbatory behavior, come in for lots of discussion. Addiction is discussed as "...a fundamental choice away from relationships" (41) `The child (and adult) unconsciously rejects real gratification and gives up goal-directed activity to hold on to the safety of a fantasy world over which he or she has complete control."
   
   The unexamined life tends to repeat and recreate early family dynamics, good or ill. Beyond this, the authors point to two existential issues that clearly block us from the kind of intimacy Deida encourages. A radio interview Joyce Catlett gave on KPFK put a better point on this than the book does. She said that two fears block us at the deepest level. One is the fear of being separated and isolated from the ones we love [the Beloved]. The other fear is being overwhelmed and swallowed whole [merged and] losing our identity in our loved one [or the Beloved]. "...being loved challenges core psychological defenses" (311)
   
   I've been checking this out. It does indeed seem to be the case; fear breaks down into two categories, fear of separation-isolation; and, fear of dissolution and loss of identity in merging with the Beloved. Some classical associations arise here. Separation and pain associate with darkness. Converging with ecstasy associates with light and bliss. Acknowledging and backtracking thru these two fears has clarified for me where I got off track navigating towards the undefended loving Deida encourages. These topics, more commonly found in spiritual literature, can be applied productively to couples counseling and self-examination.



2. Sexual, emotional or spiritual vulnerability takes considerable courage and the authors make a compelling case for the fear of intimacy. The book starts fast and is very dense but digestable. The authors lighten up on the content about midway into the section on psychodynamics of relationships and the strong theme of the opening chapters seem to fade into generalities. I have often recommended the book to clients based solely on the value of the first few chapters.



3. I picked up this book as a way to understand the behavior of someone close to me, and I was amazed at how much of it I could apply to myself. The book offered so much insight into people and their behaviors. I have recommended this book to many people and have even bought it as a gift. This book is written in a more clinical way, perhaps not readily consumed by the masses, but I found it to be much more insightful and "helpful" than any self-help book I've ever read. I recommend this to anyone who has an interest in human behavior.



4. If you've ever had someone tell you, "I don't know what you're thinking," and "You never tell me anything," this book is for you. I never knew I was the withholding type (as described by Firestone) but this book hit the nail on the head.
   
   I'm not sure exactly what to do with the information. It seems you may need some pretty specific help with a therapist to undo the negative messages "stuck in your craw" but just the awareness of my problem has helped my relationship in very real ways.



5. Too many books on this topic are pop-psychology -- written to be easily consumed without much thought and with promises of quick results. This book is more thorough, but not quite academic, in exploring this issue, its causes and its remedies. It digs beneath the surface of the issues and doesn't gloss over them in breezy, Oprah-style soundbites.

5 comments about And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

1. I heard about this book in a marriage prep class at college. The information is highly valuable and pertinent to both men and women. The book teaches that sex is ordained of god. It will remove sex inhibitions and revitalize.



2. I haven't finished the book yet, but have liked what I've read so far--it has particularly changed my view of how early and how to present my children with an accurate and positive understanding of sex. O'm looking forward to reading that chapter specifically.



3. This book should be read by every married couple and couples thinking of getting married. It has a very open approach to how important a good sexual relationship is in a marriage and how by not having this how it can cause so many problems in the marriage. It gives you homework every chapter to help you achieve a oneness in a marriage that I never thought would be possible.
   
   I highly recommend this book!



4. I've been married for nine years now and I found this book to be a fabulous tool to take the drudgery out of sex. It gave me a healthier, more inspired view of it and it's been great for our marriage. I just need to keep it up!



5. This book did a great job of expressing new ideas on how to create/enhance emotional and physical relationships in marriage. The author looks at potential issues from both spouses point of view (male/female) and presents fundamental approaches to work thru any anger and resentment.
   
   It also challenged me on how to educate my children on sexuality in such a way as to not cause stigmas in their future relationships.
   
   For me, this book and the exercises within saved my marriage.

5 comments about Love Cards, 2E: What Your Birthday Reveals About You and Your Personal Relationships.

1. I studied this as a form of personal analysis & found that I could use it to predict some human behavior with it like in Astrology as well. There seems to be an agreement on birthdays having some predictible force on a person's choices in life. Interestingly enough I found a book that really handled that later, (...)
   Science of survival. BUt this book was a useful step along the way to discovering my personal truth and what I was looking for.



2. I bought this book several years ago and was pretty impressed with it's accuracy. About a year ago I met someone and felt this amazing chemistry, syncronicity, emotional and mental bond with. But when I referred to this book it didn't give me much hope and I began to think it was all bogus, or atleast only relevant SOMETIMES. I recently learned that I had the gentleman's birthdate wrong! When I looked up the right birthdate for him this book was 100% right on. It confirmed everything I had felt all along, stating that the connections we shared were so powerful that it often resulted in love at first sight (true), that there is a powerful chemistry between us and that we are like magnets to one another and cannot keep away (true), that we had past life connections (I actually felt that but thought I was crazy!) and that this man is one of the most compatible matches I could ever hope to meet. WOW.
   
   It also accuratley described a relationship between my cousin and myself. All of our lives he has told me, "I don't know why. I just want to take care of you. I have a feeling I NEED to take care of you." According to the book he has a karmic debt to pay me from a past life. After reading this book we both understood better our connection.
   
   If you aren't inclined to believe in this stuff anyway, this book probably won't convince you of anything, but if you are open minded and intuitive about the people you meet and your hunches about them this book will confirm those intuitions with an uncanny accuracy!
   
   Furthermore, my personality card is a 5 of Hearts. It nailed me dead on and explained my fear of committment and my desire for freedom and adventure. YES! All of my life I have felt I am here on this planet to gobble up experiences and thus, I don't want to be tied down or held back. It has been a problem for me. This book also explains why when I am in love I am such a pushover. In love I become the Queen of Hearts. The most giving and romantic card. So true.
   
   It won't only explain love and chemisty but also talks about Saturn connections where you feel opressed or critizised by the other. Watch out if you and your boss have these connections. Mars connections indicate sexual attraction, but can also indicate bickering. Pluto connections affect us deeply and can transform us totally, which can be painful.
   
   There is also an excellent chapter in the back of the book on spiritual relationships that I found very enlightening and very true.
   
   This book is a wonder and I will have it for years to come.



3. This is a great, quick and dirty way to get an understanding of the people in your life. It's a good way to open discussion and get women talking. If you're single and dating different people, this book definitely comes in handy.



4. I was quite impressed with the accuracy of this book. I have the book in my car, and when I go to a friend's house, we will literally "do research" on ourselves or other people we know. It seems to answer the question "why do I do the things I do?" It's not negative in any way,and it's not judgemental. It's quite involved with the planets, and signs, etc. I am just learning about them, (in relation to myself). But the author takes you through this step by step.



5. Finally, a way to see beyond power of "attraction" and recover a sense of perspective whenever "sex appeal" clouds better judgment. Maybe that's just one end of the spectrum of benefits I see from this wonderful resource. (And maybe "attraction" is all tat matters for some people!) In any case I like knowing where the "compatibility" level is at in virtually all my relations and this is the only reference I know of that clearly charts that out for every "Love Card" in "the deck". It is such a relief to know that there really are people who are more compatible with me than others and that I can choose to build relations where the compatibility can be had! There is so much more to what this book has to offer in the way of insights to every birthday/birth card that I am certain will help bring understanding to anyone seeking to know themselves and others better!