5 comments about The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids.

1. I love this book! I just got it and am still reading through it but I really love the way Stanton writes. Very natural, candid, anecdotal and entertaining yet getting some wonderful points across that will help so many of us moms cope with the day to day challenges and joys of parenting. I found myself nodding my head in agreement at so many of the observations she shares. This is a real world book for real world moms. I am going to bring this with me on vacation to share with my girlfriends who are fellow moms- lots of great conversation starters and wonderful coping strategies we can all use.



2. This is a fabulous must-read for all stay at home moms. You will relate with all of Melissa's joy and frustration simultaneously. While reading the book there were many moments where I felt understood for the ability to stay at home and parent my children as well as have a brain and think for myself. It is the toughest job that anyone could do and yet many women do it everyday without complaint. How does anybody do it? Melissa shows that it is alright to feel exhausted, complain, scream, cry and that you don't have to be perfect.



3. This book is refreshing in its honesty! Finally a REAL perspective on what it's like to be at home, with kids, all day, every day...and not loving it all day, every day. I found the book totally validating - I felt like the author had a window into my actual life. It's crystal clear that Melissa Stanton has walked the walk, and her perspective will make so many of us SAHMs feel supported and understood. I keep this book right next to my well-referenced collection of parenting books by the Sears and Brazeltons out there, but the difference is that THIS author has truly lived what I am living today. I am grateful to be a SAHM for my kids, but it certainly isn't a fairytale, and Melissa Stanton GETS IT. The good days are SO GOOD, and on the not-so-good days, I can pull out this book and remember that I am not alone. Finally, I feel connected, understood and supported. Thank you, Melissa, for being totally unapologetic and unflinching in your book - it's honest and real.



4. I have been a Stay-At-Home mom for 12 years and this book is "spot on"! It's a practical, sensible, hands-on guide that covers all the issues and challenges of being a Stay-At-Home mom. I highly recommend this book for all Stay-At-Home moms and for any soon-to-be Stay-At-Home moms. Kudos to Melissa Stanton for such a well-thought out and well-written guide.



5. I'm a mom of new twins and bought two "survival guides." This one, for being a new stay at home mom and another one about being a new mom. The new mom guide, which is by a doctor, wasn't as useful as I'd hoped. (I bought it for the advice about regaining my body, but she doesn't really address what happened to my body due to twins.) But I'm really enjoying this book, which I'm reading a bit here and there since I don't have much time to do anything anymore. Melissa, the author, had twins (like me) and left a good job to be home with kids (also like me). I can totally relate to what she and the other moms in this book are saying, but I'm also finding her friendly writing reassuring about how hard it is to be by myself with babies and how everything in my life changed big time so fast. I'd recommend this book for any new stay at home mom who is feeling a bit alone and lost.

3 comments about Great Big Book of Children's Games.

1. I do not own this book, but I put it on my "wish list". I currently have it checked-out from my local library for the second time. What a wonderful book for such a great price! I plan to use it for birthday party activities, kids church activities, etc. This book is well worth the price!



2. The Great Big Book of Children's Games is full of fun games of all sorts: Ball Games, Water Games, Chase Games, Card Games, and so on. Many of the games are well-known childhood classics, but many of them are either foreign or totally new.
   
   The book offers lots of ways to play versions of popular games with a make-your-own version. Naturally, it doesn't tell you explicitly, "Don't buy game X, you can make your own!", but it does give great instructions on how to make paper playing boards for games like Shut the Box, Beetle (like a drawing version of Cootie), and also how to get the most out of a game like Checkers.
   
   As far as outside games, it can't be beat, there are dozens of variations on classics like hopscotch, hide-and-seek, and that eternal favorite: tag!
   
   This book is a great gift idea for Moms, Teachers, Daycare Providers, and it's a great one to leave around for the teenaged babysitter if you're going out and you don't want the kids to spend the evening in front of the TV. Wonderful!



3. This is such a great book! I was looking for some activities to keep the kids from being bored. What a wonderful surprise! This book was way more than I expected. There are tons of activities--card games, outdoor games, pen and paper games, travel games, table top games, blacktop games, and much more. As we looked through the book I remembered some of these from my own childhood, but I probably wouldn't have recalled them without this book to prompt the memories. I was very pleased and the kids love it. There are so many games that they will not be bored for a long time.

3 comments about Esquire The Rules: A Man's Guide to Life (Esquire Books (Hearst)).

1. I bought this originally off the $1 bargain table as a stocking stuffer but found it so amusing I had to order a copy for myself. Its a tongue-in-cheek take on rules of the man's world with enough truth to strike a chord and provide much needed humor into this complicated topic. Makes a good (and cheap) gift.



2. Rule #97: "Never trust a man who claps backs." Rule $95: "Rightfielders are the ugliest baseball players." Rule #24: "A man in a minivan is half a man." All true, and all very funny. While it's written with the tongue firmly planted in cheek, any self-respecting man could do a lot worse than following Esquire's rules...especially rule #21: "Talk half as much as you listen."



3. If you enjoy reading the "Rules" in Esquire, you'll really enjoy finding so many in one place. I read mine and then packaged it up for a gift for my college-aged son.

No comments about Evil Beside Her: The True Story of a Texas Woman's Marriage to a Dangerous Psychopath.

5 comments about I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating.

1. I thought this book contained information on dating relations via the internet that no other book on the market has displayed. I really enjoyed reading it and found loads of information--for a man or a woman. The authors really seemed to know their stuff and gave out vital information. This book came highly recommended and I was glad I bought it. [...]



2. There is a right way and wrong way to go about online dating. I had been doing it the wrong way. Some of the tips he gives I had never even thought about before and realize he is exactly right. This is one of the rare books I intend to read again just to make sure everything sinks in. Anyway I have been heeding his advice and there is no greater proof that it works than by the results I have been having...CUTE women contacting me and responding to me. I have a date this week that I am actually looking forward to going on.



3. This one is easy to read and does have some tips if you know NOTHING about internet dating. However, much of the information is outdated and not very helpful.



4. If you buy this book, you may very well end up hitting yourself over the head with something near at hand (probably the book itself) and exclaiming "I can't believe I bought this book!" Luckily, the worthless book in question is also mercifully brief and bound in paper, so hopefully you will do no more than emotional damage to your psyche. That's about the only positive thing you will be able to say about the experience of either reading or hitting yourself over the head with this book. The written contents are a mix of the amazingly obvious and the horribly shallow and sexist. A good book on organic gardening is more likely to help you attract a romantic partner.



5. I disagree with the negative comments some others wrote about this book. Judging from what I see on the dating sites, a lot of people are going about this wrong. So, it is not outdated nor is it simple common sense that every one already knows. Instead it has relevant and useful tips on making your profile stand out. Your communications will be more effective and your online dating experience will be better overall. Lastly, he writes about all this with a great sense of humor.

5 comments about Try and Make Me!.

1. I happened upon this book at the library when I was desperately trying to deal with my 2 yr-old's tantrams, hitting, unsocial behavior. I think it is fabulous. As many others have said here, the authors offer great techniques and the couple of pages of "brain dead phrases" appear to be incredibly useful for now and for the future. I found many of the ideas in here so important that I want to own the book so I can refer to it any time. I also have a feeling those "brain dead" phrases are going to be a life-saver as my daughter grows up. Definitely get this book if you need some great ideas to help refocus your parenting skills, time, effort and want to change your child's anti-social frustrating behavior.



2. I am so thankful for this book.I was desperatley searching for help. I ordered 3 books. Two were beautiful paperbacks and then this little paper back. I threw it aside because i didnt like the way it looked (small book and printing was small) After reading the 1st 2 and being very disapointed i finally picked up this one, and i was hooked. For once a book that not only offers suggestions but gives you steps to accomplish them. My son is 7 and adopted (at birth)has ADHD, ODD and some fetal alcohol problems. Nothing seemed to work and i was losing all hope of ever having any peace in our home. The hold down method seemed somewhat extreme but i had no luck with making him stay in time out. I decided to do exactly what the author suggested and i was determined to take it as far as i needed. I had to hold him for a solid 2 1/2 hours the first time. He tryed biting, cursing, spitting and anythng else he could do to get me angry. He was shocked that nothing he could do seemed to upset me. (on the outside anyway)The rest of the day went well. The next morning i was praying that he wouldn't hit anyone again because i was so sore i wasn't certain i could hold him down. Well, he did and i had to hold him again. This time i only had to do so for 1 hour and 10 minutes, the next day 20 minutes and that was 6 weeks ago. I havent had to do it again until yesterday, and that one was an amazing 5 minutes. He has been more loving toward me than i could ever imagine. He wants to be with me and it is enjoyable. The book suggests that you use this with only 1 or 2 of the biggest issues. Ours was hitting anyone he walked by. This is to establish authority in the home. Children with ODD tend to put themslves on the same level as adults. Children need to be secure knowing that they have boundries. I used to let him get away with things because i couldn't find away to keep him from it. I walked on eggshells to keep any confrontation from happening. I am certain now that he wasn't secure and was crying out for me to set boundries for him. My have big hopes for my son. He is the next generation and i cannot allow him to continue down that road of destruction. It may seem extreme to some but ODD is not just being hard to get along with. It's the toughest thing i have ever dealt with. I have 3 married children, have fostered 52 and adopted 3. ODD is real and one of the hardest types to deal with. You are not sterotyping your child but doing something for him that will enable him to get along in the real world. God doesn't let his children get away with things. The Bible says that the Lord disciplines those he loves. It isn't alway plesant but it is always for our best. I ordered another for my sons teacher. Of course there are things she can't do but many others she can and we can work together.



3. I work educating parents about parenting. In my opinion, this is one of the best books ever written that gives simple, clear instructions on parenting difficult children. Some of the ideas and chapters won't apply to all kids (most parents don't have the severe problems with behavior that are talked about in this book, and some children would benefit from a different approach (see
   "The Explosive Child" by Greene and Ablon) but for many parents, this will be the most helpful book they ever read about parenting!



4. This book doesn't have a whole lot of brand new ideas, but it reminds a parent of strategies that are sensible and positive -- good to remember at stressful moments. I found it helpful.



5. Great book. It gives you a look into some of the troubled minds of today's youth and the upbringing (or LACK OF). It is a great tool for teachers, bus drivers, child care givers or any one that deals with more than their own children daily. It is a great aide and one I would suggest for almost anyone to read.

No comments about Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Liberty: Emerging Conflicts.

4 comments about All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50.

1. ...for its intended audience, which is lovers of men over 50. It gives advice and insight on making love to a man over 50 without hurting his feelings, and more or less helping him along without him knowing it. However, if you have a more open and communicative relationship with your lover, I would recommned the book "Sex over 50" which is a great book about loving each other.



2. I read the book, my husband read the book, we read the book together. A wonderful tool to bring love, romance, and great sex back into a marriage. After 33 years, we feel like newlyweds again.



3. As a man over 50 this is great stuff to read for yourself. Give it to your wife when you are done, but read it yourself first, there is much good stuff to learn here about being a man and being over 50. Very good physiological information, some health & reality checks, a little technique.



4. The book is well written..and gives a step step manual of procedures that can be used. I enjoyed the book, and look forward to trying out the suggestions within.

4 comments about Once Upon a Quinceanera: Coming of Age in the USA.

1. The party accompanying a Latin girl's coming of age or sweet fifteen celebration is one of the highlights of her life, and in ONCE UPON A QUINCEANERA author Julia Alvarez attends the 'quince' of a young Queens woman to relate the confusion and planning over this special event, including interviews with other quince girls and her own memories to trace the origins and enactment of the ceremony. A top pick for any public lending library, especially those strong in Latin culture.



2. This book was a disappointment to me. First, the book is disorganized. It isn't organized into particular chapters reflecting linear and organized observations. Rather, the book seems to embrace a stream-of-consciousness approach which is confusing and difficult to follow. Particular ideas and observations appear and reappear, rather than each being deeply examined in a section of the book devoted to their study.
   
   The book is part personal reflection on the author's life, part description of one particular Quinceanera celebration, and a smattering of observations and inferences about feminism/cultural mixing/racism/consumerism thrown in to confuse (I'm sure the author meant to enhance) the overall "narrative".
   
   The book's disorganization might be a result of the fact that the author did not seem to have a clearly defined audience in mind. I am not sure how many teenage Latinas will read it (as a public school teacher, I don't see many who would be able to digest the content). Thus, the more likely audience is more-educated people, probably educated women looking for insight and analysis of an important cultural ritual and its effects on individuals, families and society.
   
   Personally, I had expected the book would be a cultural or anthropological study of the Quince ritual. There were many things I was hoping to learn from the book. I am always wondering what cultural influences lead these Latino/as to start families so young and be satisfied with low levels of education. I always presumed that their parents immigrated to this country, often dangerously and illegally, to give birth to these children here so they could have a better life than their parents. Why do these children (in the classroom at least) refuse to work hard and refuse to think about the future more than the present? As a white educator, I feel that understanding rituals such as Quince may help my understanding of the pressures of Latino culture. Sadly this book failed completely to help me understand these families' situations.
   
   This may be in part because the author chose to spend half of the book recounting her own youth and immigration experience, which seems to bear little resemblance to the backgrounds of the majority of poor, uneducated Latino immigrants today. Her father was a doctor and the family emigrated to Queens in 1960. The author was sent to Abbot Academy in Massachussetts for high school, on scholarship (for the first year--in subsequent years the family paid full tuition as her father's income rose). It was here that the author began her life in academia (she is now an English professor) and where she was introduced to feminism.
   
   Here is one of the primary conflicts buried in this book. The author's father was a doctor. Thus, the family had financial resources, and also valued education. The author went to private high school, and her parents paid for her to go to private college as well, where she embraced her inner feminist. To me, it seems that she actually has more in common with the backgrounds of privilege than with privation. Perhaps that is why she works so hard to express her support for the Quince ritual--embracing it allows her to be empowered by her Latino heritage, and her mythical working-class origins.
   
   The author understands the Latino families' desire to celebrate their children. She is loath to condemn the spending or the sexualization of the Quince girl, although she expresses a mild disapproval at times. The author really seems to struggle to reconcile her need to embrace the traditions of "diverse" Latin cultures with her experiences with American feminism. Lost in this struggle is any elucidation on the effect the Quince ritual has on Latino youth in the US today.



3. I just finished the book Once upon a Quinceanera by Julia Alvarez. I picked it up, hoping to gain more insight into the rituals and religious significance of the quince. When I've said this to people, they almost always tell me something to the effect of, "oh, that's easy. It's a hispanic girl's coming-of-age." Yeah. No kidding? I'm looking for a little more depth here.
   
   If my encounters' answer was too vague (not to mention obvious), Alvarez's response was way too deep. It was not so much about the celebration itself, but more of an examination of the issues adolescent girls face in the US in general, compounded by the additional issues particular to young latinas. It was a very interesting study in the success and failure of said girls, feminism minus man-hating, and the pros and cons of the quinceanera. But not as an outsider looking in. Alvarez herself had a difficult time finding the balance between being the good Dominican girl, and pursuing her own dreams and interests-loyalty to la familia, pursuing her education and being an intellectual, staying afloat professionally in a male-dominated time where it was difficult to be hispanic, let alone a woman.
   
   Though it was not what I was looking for, I liked it. Though I myself am not hispanic, I found myself identifying with Alvarez throughout the book. It was interesting and entertaining.
   
   -kendra
   Big Box Pro Video Productions
   Corpus Christi, Texas



4. Award-winning novelist Julia Alvarez has turned her gift for human analysis toward some very real young people in ONCE UPON A QUINCEANERA, a probing and utterly readable look into the tradition of the "quinceanera," the coming-of-age party celebrated by Latina women around the globe.
   
   In the wake of MTV's success with sweet 16 shows (in which young girls and their families spend wedding-sized amounts of money on a party where the bling outweighs any cultural significance the occasion might have) and the growing cost of a decent Bat/Bar Mitzvah in these concerned-with-wealth times in America, Alvarez looks at families, native and immigrant, who are still living below the well-to-do line and yet spend upwards of a year's mortgage payments or college tuition to make sure that their young daughter enters the "adult" world in style.
   
   It's not just the money that disturbs Alvarez. Having come to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic around the time that she would have celebrated her own coming-of-age, she watches anxiously and sometimes enviously upon girls who don't seem to understand why this tradition is so important to young Latinas. Viewing it only as that --- a giant bling-filled party to impress their friends --- takes away from the rich traditions built into the ceremonies of the quinceanera: the changing of her shoes from flats to heels during the party, signifying her march into adulthood; the doll she carries, the last vestige of childish pursuits she's allowed to enjoy; and the church ceremony, where her grown-up responsibilities are acknowledged before God and the community.
   
   Alvarez, who never had her own quince, delves with planners and family members into what, if anything, they remember from their own quinces and how they might incorporate the more stealthy values associated with the rituals into these girls' lives. When she speaks with the young women themselves, it's clear that most of them look upon this as their moment to become a "princess" --- indeed, one has her friends dress like Disney princess characters --- and that the money and energy that their parents, some of whom are struggling in this harsh economic system, are putting into this event is their right. They are, for good or bad, like the average American teen who thinks Beyonce is queen of the world and Jay-Z, her prince, is exactly what everyone should be looking for.
   
   At times, it's devastating to read the accounts of how these children are so expectant but don't really understand the changes that this bash is supposed to represent --- and it's clear that Alvarez finds it sad as well. Traditions maintained are supposed to mean something --- but in present-day America, they can be just another excuse to act like overgrown kids or irresponsible adults. She keeps her cool and withholds serious judgment on these children of American entitlement, recognizing with poignancy the struggles of their parents to hold on to dear cultural strengths while trying to assimilate into the broader Bush-driven selfishness and extravagance.
   
   The book's most appealing moments come from Alvarez's descriptive look at the craziness surrounding the day of the event and from her own recollections of growing up in the same area in Queens where she follows one family through this intense experience.
   
   ONCE UPON A QUINCEANERA is a wonderful look at a tradition that is holding steadfast but changing at the same time. And, most of all, it's about the difficult job mothers and fathers have raising beautiful young daughters in these superficial times.
   
   --- Reviewed by Jana Siciliano

5 comments about Good Husband, Great Marriage: Finding the Good Husband...in the Man You Married.

1. The book's only good premise is that it holds guys responsible for how they behave. Most of us do act like dolts at times, but unfortunately I don't think the guys he's trying to get through to are the kinds of guys that will pick up this book.
   
   It's the complete lack of holding the woman accountable for how the relationship does that bothers me. He takes the stance of "Guys, it's all your fault" which is complete nonsense. It takes two to succeed, it takes two to fail. It essentially gives the woman permission to behave as outrageously as she desires, while the guy has to internalize it all, stand above it, and 'suck it up'.
   
   If I were a woman reading this book, I'd be mad as hell. He essentially lets women believe they are out of control creatures incapabable of self responsibility, of controlling their own behavior. Is your wife having an affair? Must be your fault. Is your wife drinking too much, getting involved in drugs? Must be your fault. This book is essentially the antithesis of Dr. Laura's "The Care and Feeding of Husbands", and equally outrageous.
   
   If you're a guy that's either married to a woman with a personality disorder and/or a control freak, then this book will set you up for failure. He just reinforces the notion that it's all the guy's fault, which is nonsense.



2. Browsing the Humor section at the local Borders Express, I came across this delicious work of farce by humorist Robert Mark Alter. I laughed until my ribs hurt, and eagerly await Alter's next gut-buster.
   
   Rather than attempt to place "fake" characters in a "real" world (as in a satire like "Thank You for Smoking"), Alter has decided to go all the way into farce and create his own "fake" world to accompany his screwball characters, much like the dumbed-down world of dustbowl-era Mississippi which the Cohen brothers created in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" The result is nothing short of pure comic genius.
   
   In this wacky world, women are presented as morally infallible and superior in every way to their Morlock-like male counterparts. Although the slug-brained males in Alter's world seem hardly able to tie their shoes without strangling themselves with the laces, they are still considered intelligent enough to bear total responsibility (and, by extension, total culpability) for any shortcomings in their dealings with their omniscient female benefactors. The twist is, this same level of responsibility is conspicuously absent from the supposedly-perfect females, even though they are purported to be eons ahead in intelligence, maturity and ability.
   
   Ironically, this total imbalance of moral standards enables the female characters to throw off all inhibitions and standards, and act in the most irresponsible manner without fear of consequences, all the while clinging to this doctrine of equality (much like the Pig in Orwell's "Animal Farm" was "more equal" than the other farm animals, whom he was selling out to the farmer). Alter reaches a level of insanity worthy of Alice in Wonderland on the subject of money. The woman, who for some reason does not have to work in this totally-equal society (brilliant!), goes out and spends hundreds of dollars on clothes she doesn't need. The man is forbidden from getting angry, but is taught to praise the woman for her assertiveness. However, the man now cannot afford to buy other things, so the woman leaves him. Conclusion? It was his fault. Not sure exactly how, but it was.
   
   This idea is genius on its own merits, but Alter ratchets up the comic ante by presenting this book not as fiction, as one would expect with such an obviously outrageous premise (after all, what mature, non-institutionalized woman would actually view herself as infallible?), but as a self-help book for these imbecilic men. Amazingly, he accomplishes this with a literary "straight face" that demands that the reader take him seriously. Max Brooks used this same tone in the equally hilarious "Zombie Survival Guide," and Alter's use of it here actually makes the mayhem even more comical. He even starts out the first chapter with the statement: "This book is not about male-bashing. Don't even think of going there!" I chuckle as I imagine Grog the caveman shrinking back as if poked with a red-hot spear, forgetting to wipe the drool from his mouth. Ted Kennedy could start a book by saying, "How dare you even SUGGEST I have a drinking problem!", and it wouldn't be as funny as this.
   
   I hope this wonderful debut means more psychotic works of comedy are in the works from this warped but amazing new funnyman. I'm always looking for good ways to escape the reality of life for a few hours.



3. This book is ideal for women who wish their husbands would treat them with a little more kindness and respect, but who feel too intimidated to insist on it.
   
   After reading it, I did four things.
   
   (1) I told my husband that I no longer though of him as "imperfect," but instead as being "90% perfect". I said he's not an abuser, adulterer, or an addict; he works hard for the family; he loves us; he would die for us; he has tremendous integrity; etc. He really appreciated hearing this from me, instead of just another bitter round of tears and "I'm so unhappy."
   
   (2) I told him I was committed to focusing on that remaining 10%--to building a 100% great marriage.
   
   (3) I stopped blaming myself for his behavior and started insisting on kind, respectful treatment from him at all times--not in an angry way, but in a patient, compassionate (but always persistent) way. Any time he said something casually disrespectful, I would calmly say, "I need an apology, or else we need to talk about this."
   
   (4) For the first time in 20 years of marriage, I started using the word "man" when referring to my husband. I have always, "You are a great husband, you are a great father, you are a great guy," etc., but I am amazed at how gratifying it is to my husband when I say "You are such a good man."
   
   Since reading the book a year ago, I have been constantly (or so it felt to me) insisting on apologies and changes in my husband's behavior. Occasionally I would hesitate before speaking up, thinking, "Can he deal with yet another of my demands for change?" But then recently, my husband amazed me by remarking, "I think the reason our marriage is so much better is because ever since you read that book, you have finally started to appreciate me." Wow!
   
   It is a 2-steps-forward, 1-step-backward process, but we are happier than we have ever been in our marriage. I am so greatful to Robert Mark Alter for helping me appreciate the good man I am married to, and for encouraging me to speak up and insist on respect and kindness at all times.



4. I admit, as a husband, I am not perfect; I have my flaws. My wife recently came across this book and now it has become her relationship bible. Problem is she has her flaws too (no one is perfect). This book directs all the blame at the guy and tells the women their husband is wrong-always wrong.
   
   This "self help" book has caused more stress and fights between us than before she started reading it. Every wife deserves her prince but this book has pounded into her head that I must be her Prince Leopold and that if I fail to ride home on a white horse with a bouqet or flowers in hand every night after a hard day at work then something is wrong with me and I do not love her. Nonsense. I finally asked her to stop reading and refering to it.
   
   What the author fails to realize is that it takes two to make a marriage work. We BOTH have flaws and again, no one is perfect.



5. Finding this book was a great help to me, as it articulated so many things that I was trying to explain to my husband.
   
   The central insight, from my point of view, is that everyone has to remember what the goal is...a happy marriage. The whole use of the word 'fault" is ironic, meant to get us past the point-counting and into the place where everyone is trying to live the marriage he or she wants, the happy, sexy, relaxed and appreciative one.
   
   Unfortunately, defensive and unhappy people are not the ideal audience for irony. They just aren't. I suspect Mr. Alter remembers that well in his practice, but this is written more to peers, so he leaves in jokes that people in trouble may not understand as jokes, such as the title.
   
   If your wife is 'fed up', gentlemen, use this book to help you figure out why. She didn't just hire the cutest poolboy in town and have you join an extra bowling league. She brought you a book. She's [b]working[/b] on it. If you work on it, too, she'll attribute it to the book and feel successful. If you argue about it, she'll feel unsuccessful. And unsuccessful and argued with isn't hot. That's the kind of strategy suggested in this book...and it will work.
   
   If you'd rather be right than get laid, go ahead and argue. If your woman is bi-polar, or a shopping addict, or something, this won't help. If she isn't crazy to start with, it won't hurt.
   
   See how easy this is?