5 comments about Try and Make Me!.

1. I happened upon this book at the library when I was desperately trying to deal with my 2 yr-old's tantrams, hitting, unsocial behavior. I think it is fabulous. As many others have said here, the authors offer great techniques and the couple of pages of "brain dead phrases" appear to be incredibly useful for now and for the future. I found many of the ideas in here so important that I want to own the book so I can refer to it any time. I also have a feeling those "brain dead" phrases are going to be a life-saver as my daughter grows up. Definitely get this book if you need some great ideas to help refocus your parenting skills, time, effort and want to change your child's anti-social frustrating behavior.



2. I am so thankful for this book.I was desperatley searching for help. I ordered 3 books. Two were beautiful paperbacks and then this little paper back. I threw it aside because i didnt like the way it looked (small book and printing was small) After reading the 1st 2 and being very disapointed i finally picked up this one, and i was hooked. For once a book that not only offers suggestions but gives you steps to accomplish them. My son is 7 and adopted (at birth)has ADHD, ODD and some fetal alcohol problems. Nothing seemed to work and i was losing all hope of ever having any peace in our home. The hold down method seemed somewhat extreme but i had no luck with making him stay in time out. I decided to do exactly what the author suggested and i was determined to take it as far as i needed. I had to hold him for a solid 2 1/2 hours the first time. He tryed biting, cursing, spitting and anythng else he could do to get me angry. He was shocked that nothing he could do seemed to upset me. (on the outside anyway)The rest of the day went well. The next morning i was praying that he wouldn't hit anyone again because i was so sore i wasn't certain i could hold him down. Well, he did and i had to hold him again. This time i only had to do so for 1 hour and 10 minutes, the next day 20 minutes and that was 6 weeks ago. I havent had to do it again until yesterday, and that one was an amazing 5 minutes. He has been more loving toward me than i could ever imagine. He wants to be with me and it is enjoyable. The book suggests that you use this with only 1 or 2 of the biggest issues. Ours was hitting anyone he walked by. This is to establish authority in the home. Children with ODD tend to put themslves on the same level as adults. Children need to be secure knowing that they have boundries. I used to let him get away with things because i couldn't find away to keep him from it. I walked on eggshells to keep any confrontation from happening. I am certain now that he wasn't secure and was crying out for me to set boundries for him. My have big hopes for my son. He is the next generation and i cannot allow him to continue down that road of destruction. It may seem extreme to some but ODD is not just being hard to get along with. It's the toughest thing i have ever dealt with. I have 3 married children, have fostered 52 and adopted 3. ODD is real and one of the hardest types to deal with. You are not sterotyping your child but doing something for him that will enable him to get along in the real world. God doesn't let his children get away with things. The Bible says that the Lord disciplines those he loves. It isn't alway plesant but it is always for our best. I ordered another for my sons teacher. Of course there are things she can't do but many others she can and we can work together.



3. I work educating parents about parenting. In my opinion, this is one of the best books ever written that gives simple, clear instructions on parenting difficult children. Some of the ideas and chapters won't apply to all kids (most parents don't have the severe problems with behavior that are talked about in this book, and some children would benefit from a different approach (see
   "The Explosive Child" by Greene and Ablon) but for many parents, this will be the most helpful book they ever read about parenting!



4. This book doesn't have a whole lot of brand new ideas, but it reminds a parent of strategies that are sensible and positive -- good to remember at stressful moments. I found it helpful.



5. Great book. It gives you a look into some of the troubled minds of today's youth and the upbringing (or LACK OF). It is a great tool for teachers, bus drivers, child care givers or any one that deals with more than their own children daily. It is a great aide and one I would suggest for almost anyone to read.

No comments about Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Liberty: Emerging Conflicts.

4 comments about All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50.

1. ...for its intended audience, which is lovers of men over 50. It gives advice and insight on making love to a man over 50 without hurting his feelings, and more or less helping him along without him knowing it. However, if you have a more open and communicative relationship with your lover, I would recommned the book "Sex over 50" which is a great book about loving each other.



2. I read the book, my husband read the book, we read the book together. A wonderful tool to bring love, romance, and great sex back into a marriage. After 33 years, we feel like newlyweds again.



3. As a man over 50 this is great stuff to read for yourself. Give it to your wife when you are done, but read it yourself first, there is much good stuff to learn here about being a man and being over 50. Very good physiological information, some health & reality checks, a little technique.



4. The book is well written..and gives a step step manual of procedures that can be used. I enjoyed the book, and look forward to trying out the suggestions within.

4 comments about Once Upon a Quinceanera: Coming of Age in the USA.

1. The party accompanying a Latin girl's coming of age or sweet fifteen celebration is one of the highlights of her life, and in ONCE UPON A QUINCEANERA author Julia Alvarez attends the 'quince' of a young Queens woman to relate the confusion and planning over this special event, including interviews with other quince girls and her own memories to trace the origins and enactment of the ceremony. A top pick for any public lending library, especially those strong in Latin culture.



2. This book was a disappointment to me. First, the book is disorganized. It isn't organized into particular chapters reflecting linear and organized observations. Rather, the book seems to embrace a stream-of-consciousness approach which is confusing and difficult to follow. Particular ideas and observations appear and reappear, rather than each being deeply examined in a section of the book devoted to their study.
   
   The book is part personal reflection on the author's life, part description of one particular Quinceanera celebration, and a smattering of observations and inferences about feminism/cultural mixing/racism/consumerism thrown in to confuse (I'm sure the author meant to enhance) the overall "narrative".
   
   The book's disorganization might be a result of the fact that the author did not seem to have a clearly defined audience in mind. I am not sure how many teenage Latinas will read it (as a public school teacher, I don't see many who would be able to digest the content). Thus, the more likely audience is more-educated people, probably educated women looking for insight and analysis of an important cultural ritual and its effects on individuals, families and society.
   
   Personally, I had expected the book would be a cultural or anthropological study of the Quince ritual. There were many things I was hoping to learn from the book. I am always wondering what cultural influences lead these Latino/as to start families so young and be satisfied with low levels of education. I always presumed that their parents immigrated to this country, often dangerously and illegally, to give birth to these children here so they could have a better life than their parents. Why do these children (in the classroom at least) refuse to work hard and refuse to think about the future more than the present? As a white educator, I feel that understanding rituals such as Quince may help my understanding of the pressures of Latino culture. Sadly this book failed completely to help me understand these families' situations.
   
   This may be in part because the author chose to spend half of the book recounting her own youth and immigration experience, which seems to bear little resemblance to the backgrounds of the majority of poor, uneducated Latino immigrants today. Her father was a doctor and the family emigrated to Queens in 1960. The author was sent to Abbot Academy in Massachussetts for high school, on scholarship (for the first year--in subsequent years the family paid full tuition as her father's income rose). It was here that the author began her life in academia (she is now an English professor) and where she was introduced to feminism.
   
   Here is one of the primary conflicts buried in this book. The author's father was a doctor. Thus, the family had financial resources, and also valued education. The author went to private high school, and her parents paid for her to go to private college as well, where she embraced her inner feminist. To me, it seems that she actually has more in common with the backgrounds of privilege than with privation. Perhaps that is why she works so hard to express her support for the Quince ritual--embracing it allows her to be empowered by her Latino heritage, and her mythical working-class origins.
   
   The author understands the Latino families' desire to celebrate their children. She is loath to condemn the spending or the sexualization of the Quince girl, although she expresses a mild disapproval at times. The author really seems to struggle to reconcile her need to embrace the traditions of "diverse" Latin cultures with her experiences with American feminism. Lost in this struggle is any elucidation on the effect the Quince ritual has on Latino youth in the US today.



3. I just finished the book Once upon a Quinceanera by Julia Alvarez. I picked it up, hoping to gain more insight into the rituals and religious significance of the quince. When I've said this to people, they almost always tell me something to the effect of, "oh, that's easy. It's a hispanic girl's coming-of-age." Yeah. No kidding? I'm looking for a little more depth here.
   
   If my encounters' answer was too vague (not to mention obvious), Alvarez's response was way too deep. It was not so much about the celebration itself, but more of an examination of the issues adolescent girls face in the US in general, compounded by the additional issues particular to young latinas. It was a very interesting study in the success and failure of said girls, feminism minus man-hating, and the pros and cons of the quinceanera. But not as an outsider looking in. Alvarez herself had a difficult time finding the balance between being the good Dominican girl, and pursuing her own dreams and interests-loyalty to la familia, pursuing her education and being an intellectual, staying afloat professionally in a male-dominated time where it was difficult to be hispanic, let alone a woman.
   
   Though it was not what I was looking for, I liked it. Though I myself am not hispanic, I found myself identifying with Alvarez throughout the book. It was interesting and entertaining.
   
   -kendra
   Big Box Pro Video Productions
   Corpus Christi, Texas



4. Award-winning novelist Julia Alvarez has turned her gift for human analysis toward some very real young people in ONCE UPON A QUINCEANERA, a probing and utterly readable look into the tradition of the "quinceanera," the coming-of-age party celebrated by Latina women around the globe.
   
   In the wake of MTV's success with sweet 16 shows (in which young girls and their families spend wedding-sized amounts of money on a party where the bling outweighs any cultural significance the occasion might have) and the growing cost of a decent Bat/Bar Mitzvah in these concerned-with-wealth times in America, Alvarez looks at families, native and immigrant, who are still living below the well-to-do line and yet spend upwards of a year's mortgage payments or college tuition to make sure that their young daughter enters the "adult" world in style.
   
   It's not just the money that disturbs Alvarez. Having come to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic around the time that she would have celebrated her own coming-of-age, she watches anxiously and sometimes enviously upon girls who don't seem to understand why this tradition is so important to young Latinas. Viewing it only as that --- a giant bling-filled party to impress their friends --- takes away from the rich traditions built into the ceremonies of the quinceanera: the changing of her shoes from flats to heels during the party, signifying her march into adulthood; the doll she carries, the last vestige of childish pursuits she's allowed to enjoy; and the church ceremony, where her grown-up responsibilities are acknowledged before God and the community.
   
   Alvarez, who never had her own quince, delves with planners and family members into what, if anything, they remember from their own quinces and how they might incorporate the more stealthy values associated with the rituals into these girls' lives. When she speaks with the young women themselves, it's clear that most of them look upon this as their moment to become a "princess" --- indeed, one has her friends dress like Disney princess characters --- and that the money and energy that their parents, some of whom are struggling in this harsh economic system, are putting into this event is their right. They are, for good or bad, like the average American teen who thinks Beyonce is queen of the world and Jay-Z, her prince, is exactly what everyone should be looking for.
   
   At times, it's devastating to read the accounts of how these children are so expectant but don't really understand the changes that this bash is supposed to represent --- and it's clear that Alvarez finds it sad as well. Traditions maintained are supposed to mean something --- but in present-day America, they can be just another excuse to act like overgrown kids or irresponsible adults. She keeps her cool and withholds serious judgment on these children of American entitlement, recognizing with poignancy the struggles of their parents to hold on to dear cultural strengths while trying to assimilate into the broader Bush-driven selfishness and extravagance.
   
   The book's most appealing moments come from Alvarez's descriptive look at the craziness surrounding the day of the event and from her own recollections of growing up in the same area in Queens where she follows one family through this intense experience.
   
   ONCE UPON A QUINCEANERA is a wonderful look at a tradition that is holding steadfast but changing at the same time. And, most of all, it's about the difficult job mothers and fathers have raising beautiful young daughters in these superficial times.
   
   --- Reviewed by Jana Siciliano

5 comments about Good Husband, Great Marriage: Finding the Good Husband...in the Man You Married.

1. The book's only good premise is that it holds guys responsible for how they behave. Most of us do act like dolts at times, but unfortunately I don't think the guys he's trying to get through to are the kinds of guys that will pick up this book.
   
   It's the complete lack of holding the woman accountable for how the relationship does that bothers me. He takes the stance of "Guys, it's all your fault" which is complete nonsense. It takes two to succeed, it takes two to fail. It essentially gives the woman permission to behave as outrageously as she desires, while the guy has to internalize it all, stand above it, and 'suck it up'.
   
   If I were a woman reading this book, I'd be mad as hell. He essentially lets women believe they are out of control creatures incapabable of self responsibility, of controlling their own behavior. Is your wife having an affair? Must be your fault. Is your wife drinking too much, getting involved in drugs? Must be your fault. This book is essentially the antithesis of Dr. Laura's "The Care and Feeding of Husbands", and equally outrageous.
   
   If you're a guy that's either married to a woman with a personality disorder and/or a control freak, then this book will set you up for failure. He just reinforces the notion that it's all the guy's fault, which is nonsense.



2. Browsing the Humor section at the local Borders Express, I came across this delicious work of farce by humorist Robert Mark Alter. I laughed until my ribs hurt, and eagerly await Alter's next gut-buster.
   
   Rather than attempt to place "fake" characters in a "real" world (as in a satire like "Thank You for Smoking"), Alter has decided to go all the way into farce and create his own "fake" world to accompany his screwball characters, much like the dumbed-down world of dustbowl-era Mississippi which the Cohen brothers created in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" The result is nothing short of pure comic genius.
   
   In this wacky world, women are presented as morally infallible and superior in every way to their Morlock-like male counterparts. Although the slug-brained males in Alter's world seem hardly able to tie their shoes without strangling themselves with the laces, they are still considered intelligent enough to bear total responsibility (and, by extension, total culpability) for any shortcomings in their dealings with their omniscient female benefactors. The twist is, this same level of responsibility is conspicuously absent from the supposedly-perfect females, even though they are purported to be eons ahead in intelligence, maturity and ability.
   
   Ironically, this total imbalance of moral standards enables the female characters to throw off all inhibitions and standards, and act in the most irresponsible manner without fear of consequences, all the while clinging to this doctrine of equality (much like the Pig in Orwell's "Animal Farm" was "more equal" than the other farm animals, whom he was selling out to the farmer). Alter reaches a level of insanity worthy of Alice in Wonderland on the subject of money. The woman, who for some reason does not have to work in this totally-equal society (brilliant!), goes out and spends hundreds of dollars on clothes she doesn't need. The man is forbidden from getting angry, but is taught to praise the woman for her assertiveness. However, the man now cannot afford to buy other things, so the woman leaves him. Conclusion? It was his fault. Not sure exactly how, but it was.
   
   This idea is genius on its own merits, but Alter ratchets up the comic ante by presenting this book not as fiction, as one would expect with such an obviously outrageous premise (after all, what mature, non-institutionalized woman would actually view herself as infallible?), but as a self-help book for these imbecilic men. Amazingly, he accomplishes this with a literary "straight face" that demands that the reader take him seriously. Max Brooks used this same tone in the equally hilarious "Zombie Survival Guide," and Alter's use of it here actually makes the mayhem even more comical. He even starts out the first chapter with the statement: "This book is not about male-bashing. Don't even think of going there!" I chuckle as I imagine Grog the caveman shrinking back as if poked with a red-hot spear, forgetting to wipe the drool from his mouth. Ted Kennedy could start a book by saying, "How dare you even SUGGEST I have a drinking problem!", and it wouldn't be as funny as this.
   
   I hope this wonderful debut means more psychotic works of comedy are in the works from this warped but amazing new funnyman. I'm always looking for good ways to escape the reality of life for a few hours.



3. This book is ideal for women who wish their husbands would treat them with a little more kindness and respect, but who feel too intimidated to insist on it.
   
   After reading it, I did four things.
   
   (1) I told my husband that I no longer though of him as "imperfect," but instead as being "90% perfect". I said he's not an abuser, adulterer, or an addict; he works hard for the family; he loves us; he would die for us; he has tremendous integrity; etc. He really appreciated hearing this from me, instead of just another bitter round of tears and "I'm so unhappy."
   
   (2) I told him I was committed to focusing on that remaining 10%--to building a 100% great marriage.
   
   (3) I stopped blaming myself for his behavior and started insisting on kind, respectful treatment from him at all times--not in an angry way, but in a patient, compassionate (but always persistent) way. Any time he said something casually disrespectful, I would calmly say, "I need an apology, or else we need to talk about this."
   
   (4) For the first time in 20 years of marriage, I started using the word "man" when referring to my husband. I have always, "You are a great husband, you are a great father, you are a great guy," etc., but I am amazed at how gratifying it is to my husband when I say "You are such a good man."
   
   Since reading the book a year ago, I have been constantly (or so it felt to me) insisting on apologies and changes in my husband's behavior. Occasionally I would hesitate before speaking up, thinking, "Can he deal with yet another of my demands for change?" But then recently, my husband amazed me by remarking, "I think the reason our marriage is so much better is because ever since you read that book, you have finally started to appreciate me." Wow!
   
   It is a 2-steps-forward, 1-step-backward process, but we are happier than we have ever been in our marriage. I am so greatful to Robert Mark Alter for helping me appreciate the good man I am married to, and for encouraging me to speak up and insist on respect and kindness at all times.



4. I admit, as a husband, I am not perfect; I have my flaws. My wife recently came across this book and now it has become her relationship bible. Problem is she has her flaws too (no one is perfect). This book directs all the blame at the guy and tells the women their husband is wrong-always wrong.
   
   This "self help" book has caused more stress and fights between us than before she started reading it. Every wife deserves her prince but this book has pounded into her head that I must be her Prince Leopold and that if I fail to ride home on a white horse with a bouqet or flowers in hand every night after a hard day at work then something is wrong with me and I do not love her. Nonsense. I finally asked her to stop reading and refering to it.
   
   What the author fails to realize is that it takes two to make a marriage work. We BOTH have flaws and again, no one is perfect.



5. Finding this book was a great help to me, as it articulated so many things that I was trying to explain to my husband.
   
   The central insight, from my point of view, is that everyone has to remember what the goal is...a happy marriage. The whole use of the word 'fault" is ironic, meant to get us past the point-counting and into the place where everyone is trying to live the marriage he or she wants, the happy, sexy, relaxed and appreciative one.
   
   Unfortunately, defensive and unhappy people are not the ideal audience for irony. They just aren't. I suspect Mr. Alter remembers that well in his practice, but this is written more to peers, so he leaves in jokes that people in trouble may not understand as jokes, such as the title.
   
   If your wife is 'fed up', gentlemen, use this book to help you figure out why. She didn't just hire the cutest poolboy in town and have you join an extra bowling league. She brought you a book. She's [b]working[/b] on it. If you work on it, too, she'll attribute it to the book and feel successful. If you argue about it, she'll feel unsuccessful. And unsuccessful and argued with isn't hot. That's the kind of strategy suggested in this book...and it will work.
   
   If you'd rather be right than get laid, go ahead and argue. If your woman is bi-polar, or a shopping addict, or something, this won't help. If she isn't crazy to start with, it won't hurt.
   
   See how easy this is?

5 comments about Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace.

1. This marriage book stands out because its focus is Biblical. Many Christian marriage books seem to come at marriage from a psychological angle first, then add verses to support that. This starts with a Biblical view of marriage and then moves towards each spouses practical responses to that view. A group of couples in our church recently went through this book and many found it to be very helpful in their marriages.
   
   There were aspects of the writing style that bothered me a bit. The authors would change from his perspective to her perspective in a kind of haphazard way. It seems like offsetting or transitioning between these two viewpoints would make it easier to read. However, despite that I still highly recommend this book!



2. There are numerous books available on the topic of marriage. Many of them deal with communication, romance, and roles. The Ricucci's book is different. While they deal with some of these same topics, they do this from a God-centered, biblical perspective. Their book begins with an emphasis on the purpose of marriage, which finds its purpose in God. The husband and wife's role also find their purpose in God, which is addressed in chapters 2 and 3. These are areas which are rarely addressed in most books on marriage. The Ricuccis give a good, basic, complementarian perspective, which is the exception rather than the rule in most books. The Ricuccis also include 3 chapters on communication and 2 chapters on romance and the sexual relationship. They write with an easy to understand, practical style which people find very helpful. All in all I recommend this book and would give it to any couple considering marriage or needing a good book on marriage.



3. We worked through this book in a group of 9 couples. It led to great discussion in the group.
   
   I had read the first "Love that Lasts", written many years ago. This is an excellent update.
   
   Gary and Betsy's transparency and humility is encouraging and provoking in a good way.
   
   We have given this book to many young couples . . . even as a wedding gift.



4. This book was assigned to us for pre-marriage counseling and we both found it to be encouraging, challenging, and worthwhile. It is thankfully concise at 160 pages but is also deep. My guess is this will be something I'll be referring to over and over again...



5. MUST read...one of the best marriage books I've read, and I have read lots :) To read and understand and LIVE this book would be to help your marriage immensely!

5 comments about The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire.

1. The Sex-Starved Wife
   
   Wow! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this title. I have been a sex-starved wife for more years than I can count. My marriage has been empty and loveless because my husband has no desire for me. My friends all complain that their husbands are always wanting sex and I feel so uncomfortable during those discussions because I feel like a freak of nature. It makes me feel as if something is dreadfully wrong with me. I don't even share what happens in my relationship because I'm mortified. I have felt so alone.
   
   But now that I've read this great book, I KNOW I am not alone. As I read all the letters from women in my shoes, I cried because I know the pain they have been feeling. I understand how bad it feels to be so hurt and have your husband be unwilling to do anything about it. He doesn't even want to talk to me about it anymore. Weiner Davis explains why men loose desire, but the best part is that she gives concrete suggestions for getting your husband to be more receptive to doing something about the problem. I am so grateful that I read this book because I feel better about myself and I have even made some headway with my husband. He's agreed to read part of it and to speak to a doctor! I've been trying to get him to do something, anything for a long time and he's just gotten defensive. So, this book marks a major turnaround in my marriage. I can't say for sure what will happen next, but I can tell you that at least we're talking and he's showing some willingness to care about my feelings. That's huge. I strongly suggest that if you're a woman whose husband is disinterested sexually, you get this book. It can change your marriage.



2. There is "The Sex-Starved Wife" and "The Sex-Starved Marriage", so... what, there's no market for this?



3. All these years, 33 of them, I thought it was me and it wasn't. All these years I suffered with no one to talk to who understood my pain. I could hardly read this book without crying with such pain....I didn't even know I had. My husband was moved and we are now going on a path
   that is giving us answers. Thank you! At last! I am understood.



4. Finally, a book addressing a problem many wives encounter but many husbands would deny even exists! Enough of hearing on television and radio the popularly held myths that "Most men want sex all the time. Low sexual desire is only a woman's problem. Some men lack sexual desire, but the prevalence of low desire in men is extremely low. & Men who aren't interested in sex must have a sexual dysfunction of a serious medical condition. Otherwise they'd be ready to go."! Let's be fair and look at the WHOLE picture. To date it has been far to easy for researchers to study the subject of low desire in women. As the author points out, many studies have been conducted on this topic and so few about low desire in men one has to wonder whether all these researchers are men! Yet researchers finally did identify HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder or low desire), something MORE prevalent in men than in women. Low desire appears to be an equal opportunity employer when it comes to gender. Unfortunately to date also too many women have had a tendency to blame themselves for the existance of this problem. This is not true of most men who have low desire wives. This book offers a variety of explanations beside a physical erectile dysfunction for the lack of sexual desire in some men. As a social worker, I see this book as liberating to female clients who suffer from low self esteem not knowing what to think of the cause of their male partner's problem.



5. I just finished reading this book. I had some problems with it. The problems that I had were with what I took as the author's emphasis on how the wife may be "at fault" (nagging, fighting, and being unimaginative, etc). I found that message to be demeaning, sexist, and very unsupportive to women. Insinuating that women "are" or "if you find yourself" nagging and fighting and angry (which of course is a terrible culturally demeaning characterization). I also object to the characterization that what women need to do is simply spice up the atmosphere in the bedroom - and be "understanding" of your husband's thoughts and needs, this of course is a huge oversimplification of this terrible and life wrecking issue.
   
   I have a non-responsive husband and my experience is that no matter what you do, there is no response. The non-responsive spouse is in control of the sex (as is stated in the book). I am not a nag. I am imaginative. I do discuss. There doesn't appear to be any joint solution to this problem - because it isn't a joint problem --- it is MY problem. He is perfectly happy the way things are. I am the one who is unhappy.
   
   There really wasn't anything in this book about my situation at all. I feel degraded by this book and it's seemingly "simple" solutions which lie entirely in the lap of the woman. Where is the man's responsibility in all of this? I think that the author does a terrible disservice to women who have this problem in their marriage or relationship. The only real help given is exercises for pre-mature ejaculators.
   
   This is a huge problem for women in this country - there is a cultural myth that men are always and forever ready at the drop of a hat - and women and men believe it. There isn't a simple solution to a man who refuses to have sex - dressing up in saran wrap is not going to fix this problem. Giving "Glamour" and "Cosmo" solutions to this huge life wrecking situation is horrible. Shame on the author!

5 comments about Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime: The Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids.

1. This is a great book that truely applies common sense to child upbringing and can be applied regardless of religious background.
   
   If you look at the all of the reviews from the one individual who gave a poor review, it looks like he did a topic search and left a bad review for any book he thought came from a Christian about child rearing. Although I have not read the other books that he gave 1-star to, based on this review I would be wary of believing any of the reviews he has written.
   
   Read the book you won't regret it.
   Another good book the author wrote is "You're a Better Parent than you Think"



2. As I was reading this book, it told me hints that I had never thought of before or heard before. This book puts it in terms that will stick and be easy to impliment.



3. After having been a teacher for many years, reading plenty of parenting books, stressing out, you name it, this came as a breath of fresh air. I was chuckling all the way through the book as Dr. Guarendi debunked one so-called "expert" after another. He uses practical wisdom as the father of ten children to show you that you can get through the maze of parenting unscathed....and your children can, too. He clearly shows that nobody is ever perfect and this will not irreparably harm anyone. The basic ingredient for all childrearing is just plain common sense....which is the way all children used to be raised.
   The reviewer who claimed all Dr. Guarendi proposes is simply spanking and more spanking ought to read this book more thoroughly. When I read that review, I could hardly keep from laughing...this individual would do well to delete that review and really read the book before he publishes something so absurd and obviously erroneous. The teacher here would have to give an "F" for a poorly written report. :-)



4. This book is great! It uses a lot of common sense and gives many ideas. The book is reassuring and helpful in that you aren't afraid of making a mistake as a parent especially with so many things you hear in the media of what's "good" or "bad" for your kids. Then you turn and hear something new. I recommend this book to anyone who is serious about raising well-disciplined kids.



5. My friend who has three kids talked about this book over the holidays and read parts of it that she was applying to her home situation. It was so funny and practical, I couldn't resist buying it for another friend who is a new parent, of course reading the book myself before passing it along. I don't think I've laughed so hard reading a book in a long time. The author's advice is wonderfully mild these days when the headlines are full of horribly abused children supposedly being disciplined for bad behavior. Nothing like that here. My friend who first told me about it swears that copying the encyclopedia works magic.

5 comments about How Could You Do This to Me?.

1. "How could you do this to me?" helped me put my thoughts in order. I had pretty much figured out what had happened in my life - why the betrayal took place, why it happened to me and where I needed to go from there. The problem was that it was all so jumbled in my head and I was so emotionally charged that nothing seemed to make sense. I have been able to search my soul, am putting my thoughts together in an orderly fashion in order to move on with my life now.



2. This book says a lot with few words; it might almost require a second reading to absorb all it has to offer. It gave me insight into the motives of others and invaluable perspective on my own unconscious contributions to some of the "betrayals" I have experienced.



3. Once trust is broken, it is much like a glass window; it cannot be fixed. It can be taped, glued, pieced together, etc. It can never be the intact and unbroken window it once was. Some things just cannot be fixed as if they never occurred. With that in mind, the emphasis is on whether or not one wishes to fix it and why, and the decision to return a trust that is broken, decisions that always determine the value of the relationship and how deeply woven and connected it is. Recovery from broken trust (not trusts) lies in gently picking up the broken pieces, putting them in some type of order, and attempting to keep them there, an almost impossible task, and one too often for objective professionals. Success is tenuous at best, and unsatisfying at worst because both generally mourn what might have been had the trust not been broken, and the relationship unimpaired by those lingering ghosts. Most do not trust once the trust has been broken, but simulate an appearance of trust that is usually a small fraction of that which was thrown away by the deceiver, and which was forced onto the victim, by the knowledge of the deceit.



4. This is actually not a terrible book; it's just not a book for someone who has already been researching and reading up on how to heal a broken heart after a betrayal. I bought it expecting some new insight and/or advice, but mostly it's a "beginner's primer" that defines betrayal, looks at childhood and how this figures in, etc. Very elementary, very basic. If you're just starting down the road to recovery after betrayal, and have not spent years talking to a therapist and reading books about it, as I have, then this particular book is probably a good place to start. Just don't expect any concrete advice or specific direction. It just isn't here.



5. I bought this book in the aftermath of my divorce. While reading the book, I realized I had been betrayed by most people close to me, all situations I had supressed to avoid conflict. This book helped me to become aware of my own weaknesses so that I am able to better prevent more betrayls in the future. You can not control the way others act or how they treat you, but you can learn to better control your own emotions and not let those people get the best of you. This was a great book! I loved it so much I gave it to my ex husband upon our divorce. Maybe it will help him out in his next relationship.

5 comments about How to Have an Elegant Wedding for $5000 (or Less) : Achieving Beautiful Simplicity Without Mortgaging Your Future.

1. This is a pretty good book. It gives you a few good ideas you may not have thought of.



2. I can't imagine trying to plan a wedding on a tight budget without some type of guide book, and this is the one for me! SO many great ideas, easy to read, time-lines, do' & don'ts....I say this book is indispensible!!



3. This is a terrific book that brings a wedding from the "vision" of what a bride may want and matches it to the financial reality of hosting a major party. It makes you really think about the things that are important to you about your wedding - and how much that is going to affect your overall budget. Most of us don't have an endless supply of money to spend on a wedding and reception, but even if you do this book is a great guide to helping you prioritize what really matters to you.



4. I found the book to be easy to read. The information was very practical and concise. There were loads of ideas on wedding preparation.



5. I, like many brides am on a tight budget and I do not feel this book gave a lot of insight on cutting costs other than to have less guests and to use silk flowers. It is a good refrence though for things to make sure to have lined up for your wedding and to give an idea of the type of person to assign certain jobs to in your wedding.