5 comments about It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy.

1. Not what I expected... Instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse! When your heart is broken, the last thing you want to hear is "it's called a break up because it's broken" and "move on already!" said to you over and over again, as if it were as simple as making a sandwich!
   Instead of bringing the focus on yourself, and dealing gently with your heart and with pain in a constructive way, it brings more focus on the partner who "dumped" you, and what "loser" or "[...]" he is for doing this to a "super fox" (eesh!) like yourself. I highly doubt that building hate or frustration this way is of any good, just as I doubt that numerous break-up stories should make you feel better. It's the last thing you want to hear when your heart is aching. In those moments, you'd want to deal with the pain and understand the situation, and maybe being encouraged that there are wonderful men out there, that would love to be with someone like you!



2. I read recently this while going through a break up, and have since recommended it to all my friends. I was depressed over my break up and this book helped me through it. It's geared towards women/girls who have been dumped (though there's some in there about if you did the dumping.) There are workbook sections at the end of chapters. The book reminds you that you are a good person who will probably find someone who appreciates you, and now you are free to find that person. 5 stars.



3. When your are at your worst this book comes in even handier than a best friend. Stories about others who have been through it, advice about what to do and not to do, and antidotes of self confidence.



4. This book was amazingly helpful to me during my divorce. It not only contains fantastic advice, but made me laugh at a time when I wasn't really feeling that jovial. Put down the ice cream, pick up the book!



5. This book is amazing. I bought this book after a six month relationship suddenly ended, and not by me! I was suffering so badly from a broken heart I thought for sure I would die!I had a huge support system but nothing would snap me out of my funk. Amazingly, after reading only half of the book,I felt so much better! Every question, scenario and fantasy you have in your head when you are in mourning is answered in here. It's to the point , comforting , funny and empowering. I highly recommend this book if you are dwelling on a broken relationship and wasting your time on the jerk who left you.

5 comments about How to Break Your Addiction to a Person.

1. I have been searching all over the internet for Dr. Halpern's contacts to send him a mail and thank him for this phenomenal book. "How to Break your Addiction to a Person" has completely changed my thinking about relationships and about the concept of "self." It made me realize that it is essentially a problem in ME (and not the guy I was dating) that perpetuated the problem. It's no use blaming a partner for being a bad person or a relationship for being a bad one, but that we have to understand the real reason why we can allow ourselves to remain in THAT relationship with THAT person. You can not change circumstance but you can change your own self and take some responsibility for your own life. The silly phosphoric cover illustration of the book really doesn't do it any justice and undermines the pivotal psychological concepts explained inside. I truly and honestly felt extremely empowered as I read though it. I was able to muster the strength to stay away from a man who was bringing much negativity into my life, but to whom I'd been attached for countless years. I keep reading and re-reading the book every time I feel drawn back to that person.
   
   The book opened my eyes on several central ideas:
   
   1)The concept of "attachment hunger" (how unsatisfied needs for attachment in our childhood linger with us as adults and resurface in our romantic partnerships). The mere awareness of this "hunger" allowed me to understand my scenario better and be more forgiving towards myself and more clear about how I will overcome my unhealthy addiction.
   
   2) Addiction has nothing to do with a substance (drugs, alcohol or otherwise) but rather that the addicting element is a personality quality (it is within the person who is addicted). And yes, it has a lot to do with self-esteem and self-sufficiency. Both of which you can work on successfully.
   
   3) Our concept of time changes when "attachment hunger" takes over. When we say things like "I will be alone forever" or I will be in "eternal pain," this stems from our infant perception of time. Consider ths example: "I told myself I would call her after an hour, but after three minutes, three very long minutes, I dialed again. I let the phone ring twenty times. I called every two minutes for the next hour, and each time I felt like an eternity had gone by. I looked at the stupid clock like it was mocking me, like it was stubbornly slowing down." Now compare this excerpt to the following infant experience: "He wants to be fed. He cries out. The response is not immediate. In adult time maybe it's three minutes before mum gets the bottle warmed up. But what is that in Infant Time? A century? An eon? A boundless amount of frustration spread over an incomprehensible dimension?" When you read through the chapter in the book that discusses Infant Vs. Adult Time, you will realize that often your infant perception of time is what makes you afraid you could be alone "forever" or experience "eternal" pain. It makes you realize that often your lose your sense of Adult Time and start to express your fears in Infant Time. No, says Dr. Halpern, be assured that there is a tomorrow. There is usually nothing in our appearance/character/life that is so unappealing as to make it likely that we will ALWAYS be rejected or will be alone FOREVER. Those words (always and forever) distort our perceptions completely and make us hold on to a bad relationship because we are so afraid to be alone.
   
   4) Being jealous over someone does not mean you love them. It is possible to feel jealousy towards someone you even dislike, based on two false beliefs: a) if someone else wants him, he must be better than I think and b) if he wants someone else, the other person must be better than me, and I am being dismissed because I am undesirable. Dr. Halpern explains why those two beliefs have no basis of truth and why they are founded on our attachment hunger needs.
   
   5) We tend to fall into traps of rationalization, idealization and self-delusion and that a good rule of thumb is to take the other person'a frustrations at FACE VALUE rather than to do fancy mental gymnastics to explain it away.
   
   6) Often we do not realize that the person in front of us is subtly controlling us through various tactics including power, weakness, servitude, guilt and jealousy. Dr. Halpern explains how you can recognize those tactics. Whilst reading the book, it dawned on me that my partner was ACTIVELY and CONSCIOUSLY using jealousy to keep me bound to him while I was too oblivious and taken away into the relationship to recognize his control tactics.
   
   7) We become addicted to other people because we have a weak sense of SELF. We incorrectly believe that we will be insecure or lonely or unhappy without our attachment/association to that person we are addicted to. Dr. Halpern explains the importance of recognizing yourself as a mature, self-sufficient entity who can survive on its own and who needs to bond with a partner out of healthy love rather than complusion or false belief that we can not live without this person.
   
   There is so so much more in the book. My explanation doesn't even begin to rival the clear, eloquent, beautiful way Dr. Halpern explains the concept of being addicted to a person. He is a terrific psychiatrist and a terrific writer. I enjoyed the book more than any other self-help title I have ever read. It shook me, moved me, and made me learn a lot about human relationships, attachment, love, jealousy, and self-esteem. The most important thing I came out with from this book is that the problem is not only that I dated a jerk....the bigger problem is this: what is it in myself that has allowed this problem to happen? I realized that it was time to work on ME and not just blame the partner I was with. Honestly, this is a fantastic book that will blow your mind and teach you a lot about your own self that you didn't even know....will definitely quell your addiction!



2. This book by far was the key to me being able to break the pattern of unhealthy relationships. Love addiction, codenpendency is very real and very deep seeded. This book is the manual for learning how to identify why and how bad relationships keep happening..and how to break the addiction.



3. This book told me a lot of things I already knew about Attachment Hunger, but made me feel a lot less stupid about returning to the same person over and over. It makes me understand that I am overvaluing one person's opinion and gave solid tips for moving forward. Highly recommend it to anyone who has difficulty letting go of a particular person.



4. Very poor service, either from the sender or from Amazon. As a long time Amazon client, I'm disappointed that I never received this item.



5. This title is amazing in its well rounded approach to dealing with addiction to another person. Using both stories and psychological analysis it is able to not only help you understand where the feelings of addiction come from, but it also helps you realize that you can overcome these crippling emotional ties. I found myself interested in the progress and stories of the individuals in the book which made the book a very easy read. While many self-help books can be weighty and difficult to finish, I found myself wanting to pick this book up again and again.

5 comments about Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex.

1. I was excited to read the book because it was recommended by a good friend of mine. With the title of Intimate Issues - I was expecting more depth. This was a lot of superficial information that really didn't help much. I did give it to my soon-to-be-sister-in-law.



2. This is a life-changing book; one you don't want to miss. It has impacted my life and marriage as a Christian woman so much that I now give it to other women. I wish someone had given it to me as a new bride! It is straight forward and scripture based. What more could you want in a book on this topic?



3. This book has completly changed my sex life! It changed my mindset from being so negative about sex to wanting to please my husband with my body. I love the book, and anyone looking to see what the bible says about sex should get it.



4. this is an amazing book. read it. it changed my views on sex. i never realized how culture effects our views on thing like this. There is a lot of internal searching and discovering. this book is great at pointing out the wrong ideas we have about sex, as women, and then shows you how to address them. Thats the hard part. I would re-read.
   
   I'm glad its finally ok for the christian culture to talk about these important subjects in the right light.



5. This book is a must-read for Christian women who are looking to improve their marriage relationship...and that should be all of us!
   I believe my marriage will benefit from having read this book.
   Learn how to increase your desire for intimacy, learn what God intended when he designed sex, there are so many great aspects to this book. So, so glad that I ordered it (and my husband is too!)

5 comments about Make Every Man Want You.

1. I am giving this book a tentative 4-star rating because I really wish I had gotten this book instead of some other bad book that came better rated than this one. Even though I have yet to read it (I am now going to buy it in-store), by visiting Marie's free supplemental website I can really see how her tips and methods can work... her theory of telling one's-self, for example that "this is it" and "this is what I want" in life, at every challenging situation or mind-numbing social event, I have already learned to make the best of whatever situation I am in, instantly making myself more relaxed, positive, outgoing and most importantly potentially charming (and dare I say irresistable) to the opposite sex.
   If you are skeptical like I am to spend money on a product like this that might not work, might leave you discouraged or waste your time with tips you could come up with yourself, visit her website and see for yourself rather than taking these comments at face-value. Also know however that some of her tips are "common knowledge" meaning, you can probably find versions of her advice on other websites or wikis. Like every self-help thingy, you have to take the author's advice with a grain of salt; no book is going to be a "cure-all", nor will a title (especially as provocative as Marie's) really, truly be the most appropriate category for the material inside (even Marie admits in the preface that she used the title just to catch your attention). With Marie's book and a little bit of practice (!) I really think I can make some improvements to my social life!



2. I realized that my girlfriend was unknowingly following Marie's advice when we'd met, and for all of the time we've been together. That is why we have such a perfect, fun-filled relationship and are known among our friends as the "perfect couple."I also recommend my favorite book about love I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



3. I enjoyed reading this book, the title really grabs you. It was upbeat and easy to read. And what a concept, get your own life and men will be more drawn to you!!



4. To be honest everyone thought I had the ultimate dream lifestyle and, on the face of it, I did! But the trouble was I always knew deep down, I wasn't truly happy. I knew there was more to life. Your book gave me the direction to face up to the challenge of improving my inner needs. So I applied the tips and now my life has the meaning that I was searching for. Everyone around me has noticed the difference, but of course I haven't told them the secrets!



5. Found this to be a fun and easy to read book, excellent advice for any female who cares enough to read & improve their dating skills.

5 comments about The Low Down on Going Down: How to Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex.

1. I've read many books on the techniques on going down. By far this is the best one I've ever spent my time on. It is specific with exercises and visual aids. I've reread it several times and found something to improve each time. If you wish to get good at going down this is the book to spend your money on.



2. I didn't read the book but bought it for my man and can I just say, he went from a man who needed some guidance to a whiz, holy cow. He read the entire book, and the first time he performed oral on me after reading the book was amazing. I am more than pleased. He did tell me about the exercises you should be doing which sounded over the top to me. I mean, h*ll, I wouldn't expect him to do all these mouth exercises regularly, jeez. I think the book is well worth the money. Take it from a woman who couldn't "get there" in 20 mins of him trying to please. To getting then and then some in 5 mins!



3. Is it too strong a statement to say that this book saved my relationship? My boyfriend wasn't always pleased with having to perform oral sex, so I bought him this book. Then he brought home Was that an earthquake? The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex! Now we are both happy pleasing each other. The content is rich and results oriented. The two authors provide a first class education on women pleasing men and men pleasing women. We loved both books (especially the flip over aspect) and now oral sex is FUN and not a chore for either one of us, whether on the giving or receiving end. Highest marks!



4. My husband read this book (he picked it out himself!) and I have benefited from his research. Nothing earthshaking in the book but there were quite a few gems he (we) found useful to us.



5. Guys, just read it. Without me giving real graphic & direct comments, just read it. No, just DO what it tells you. It'll help you and she'll be really happy you read it, but you don't have to tell her you did. Let her think you're a genius. Bought it for my hubby & he hasn't touched it. What's with you guys, anyway?

5 comments about The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book.

1. I have learned to understand that the door to spirituality is opened slowly instead of yanked open all at once. Even though I read nothing new in this book, I did see a different perspective that reinforced all that I'm learning, pushing that door open just a little further. I also recommend I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't



2. I just want to say this is beautiful book. It has a simple message. It makes you believe that everything is okay and everything is going to be alright because if you love yourself everything falls into place. I think I'm finally starting to know what that means.
   This book is easy to read but the message sticks with you. The author puts a couple of meditation prayers at the end so you have something to help you stay focused on the message, if you want to. I have read two other books by this author, The Four Agreements and The Voice of Knowledge and loved all of them.



3. This is the most beautiful, wise, spiritual, moving, truthful book i had ever read. The words are so wise and true that it hits the core of the soul and unlocks the key to true happiness and spiritual freedom. It opens up a door to God's love, which is pretty intense. Some people may not be able to handle or comprehend how it unveils the lies all around us, that have blinded us from the innate truth.



4. Very uplifting book. Little preaching in the beginning, but helpful. I definitely needed to read it. I'd recommend it to everybody who struggles to understand why their relationships are not working the way they want them to work. It is of course not a magic stick to fix it for you, but give some insights that if applied right can change your prospective completely.



5. This book is really right on. It shows you how to apply The Four Agreements to any relationship. It's very enlightening and written in an easy to understand fashion. The audio version of this book is great too.

5 comments about The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make.

1. I thought "The Layguide" by Tony Clink was pretty good but I have now found that "Dr Z on Scoring" by Dr. Victoria Zdrok, PhD is a much superior book on the subject. Dr Victoria Zdrok is a sexologist, dating coach and relationship advisor who is not only extremely intelligent but equally as beautiful. She is the only woman in history to be both a Playboy Playmate and a Penthouse Pet of the Year and she also holds a PhD in clinical psychology as well as a JD in law. She uses much more than just personal knowledge and education in writing her book as she also interviewed lots of beautiful and desirable women to determine just what these women look for in a man. After she collected and studied this information she was able to deduce what women really look for in a man. She then gives you a guild on how to attract women to you. Her writing style is enjoyable to read, funny and full of interesting and useful information. If you decide to buy just one book on this subject I'd highly recommend "Dr Z on Scoring", I'm sure you'll find it as worthwhile as I have!
   
   RDS



2. Since I've started reading the books from the Pick Up Community, I've seen a pattern in the basic ways to approach women: it's basically putting out all the good qualities associated with being a man.
   
   Be confident. Attentive, charming, humorous. Dress better, work on conversational skills. Maintain respect but also hold the course for seduction.
   
   All of this sounds simple enough but...I think I belong to a generation of broken homes where the battling, bewildered single parents didn't pass on ANYTHING useful to their children. Let popular music and TV guide you into the Tunnel of Love.
   
   And what a disaster that's been. (It also didn't help that social engineering tried to instill that boys and girls are essentially the same. How damaging has that been?).
   
   So these books, while initially provoking women to be offended that men will be taking advantage of them, end up being the education us guys never got.
   
   THE LAYGUIDE has a title that would suggest this book is about only seducing and taking advantage of women. I didn't really get that. (If you're looking for a book that not only writes in terms of women as only sexual objects but where to go and how much to spend on endless sex objects, that would be THE PROFESSIONAL BACHELOR. Especially the second half).
   
   THE LAYGUIDE is a smooth, well-written How To book on approaching women and moving into a relationship, whether for one night or the rest of your life.



3. This book is great, easy to read, and full of useful tips for anyone. It gives a variety of stratigies and points out a lot of the mistakes I was making prevouisly. Good hunting



4. Just kidding! I'm a woman, and I suppose I should feel shocked, disgusted and offended by this book, but I'm not. I daresay very few women are lured into bed against their will, regardless of the techniques men allegedly use. I'm sure I've lured as many men to my bed as they have me. Techniques are great, and use them if you must, but there is one sure way to keep your beautiful woman once you have gotten her in to bed. Read The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex. Book I is all about cunnilingus, and it will keep your woman coming back for more. This is the technique you should work on harder than you do your pickup technique. And if you make her happy enough, flip the book over to Book II, which is all about fellatio, and have her pleasing you as much as you are pleasing her. Now, that's a win-win situation!



5. This was a pretty good book. It has a few really good techniques and goes into a lot of detail. I would definitely reccommend it to an advanced beginner.

2 comments about 101 Sex Positions: Steamy New Positions From Mild to Wild.

1. There are a lot of books on sex positions out there, but this one really captured our attention. My wife and I found ourselves pouring over the book, passing it back and forth in a crowded Borders cafe pointing out to each other our favorite pages. The photography is excellent and very hot...and we found plenty of things we will be trying.



2. There are many, many positions to pour over in this book, most are very tantalzing and very few pose any problem. The photos, also, are tastefully done. I highly recommend it. It's short and good, but not overblown. Another suggestion to go along with this one: Sex Machine: A Man's Guide to What Really Pleases a Woman in Bed.

5 comments about Getting the Love You Want Workbook: The New Couples' Study Guide.

1. I am only writing this to warn others you'll need the other book to be able to use this workbook. I don't have the other book so I have not been able to use any of the workbook.



2. Harville Hendricks has provided a clear and easily followed outline for couples to follow as they work on their marriage. It teaches effective communication which is the foundation of a successful marriage. I heartily endorse this book.



3. I have studied and practiced several models for couples counseling and this one by Hendrix is by far the best. Make sure to read the book as well.



4. The philosophy of relationships that Dr. Haskill has developed is well researched and eye opening. The excersizes in the workbook are useful tools for willing couples to use to find a deeper understanding of themselves and better communication.
   However, the workbook is not necessary if you buy the book "Getting the Love you want;" you can use your own notebook to do the sessions which comprise section 3 of the book, as well as the workbook.
   I do highly recommend this item, for anyone who believes that the answer to trouble in a love relationship is not to abandon the loved one but to first resolve the issues that have surfaced. The author has really hit on something.



5. I would recommend "Getting the Love You Want" and the companion workbook to any couple who wants to strengthen their relationship.
   Also I is a good match with the book I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

5 comments about Boundaries in Dating.

1. This book definitely keeps things in perspective. As a twentysomething, we get caught up in emotions and the physical not really seeing the whole picture. Boundaries in Dating is a great tool and reference when determining if the potential mate is someone to move forward with or run far from! A "Must Read" for you and/or great info to share with others.



2. This is the most amazing book. These guys combine so much practical wisdom, so much insight into relationships. The idea that I should be sharing my opinions, preferences, likes--whether in music, politics, clothing, whatever ... the idea that I should be sharing this directly with someone as part of defining my boundaries is simply revolutionary to me.
   
   
   Somewhere along the way, I started holding back on my opinions and preferences when meeting new people. That creates two problems: one, people do not get to see or get to know who I am, what I really like, what I don't like. So I am stifling myself, keeping folks at a distance. Two, others who want to find me (who like my preferences, etc. or who simply want to know me better) can get this information more quickly when I share it early on. There's so many other insights here about wisely choosing partners, about assuming responsibility for your relationships.
   
   I'm going to read more of these guys' books.
   
   One note--I delayed reading this book because of the Christianity. When I finally picked it up and gave it fair reading, I saw that the Christianity is extremely ecumenical and open. The authors quote passages from the Bible in ways that reinforce common sense and common insights from psychology and psychotherapy and relationships. No guilt or judgmental thing going on ... If you're not Christian, I think you still might like this book.
   
   I am eager to begin to practice some of this stuff.



3. Not much to say. Haven't flipped through the book yet, but it appears to be in good condition.



4. I am a big fan of the material in this book. I think it is one of the best resources available today for understanding the give and take of intimate relationships, and where each of you begins and ends. I've seen too many people settle or lose their own identity because they didn't understand what was happening in their relationship.



5. I found this book very helpful and have purchased several copies for friends in need.