2 comments about Your Road Map to Lifelong Happiness: A Guide to the Life You Want (Keyes, Jr, Ken).

1. This is the better mousetrap. In this last book by Ken Keyes, finished just before he died, Ken introduces EMDR, Harville Hendrix, Ron Kurtz's Hakomi, and other therapies as much faster ways of getting rid of addictions than using his classic methods (which themselves are efficacious at achieving positive results with zero side-effects)



2. I only bought this book because I was curious to find out what happened to Ken at the end of his life. I immediately notice on the back flip cover that he was married to Lydia, much younger than Penny. In his autobiography "Discovering the Secrets of Happiness" Ken wrote on p.167 that "I felt that Penny's refusal to share adult films with me" was already the seed for future divorce.
   
   In this book, as far as I can tell, he wrote only one paragraph about his 3rd ex-wife Penny on first page of ch.21 p.225: "Life still sends lots of 'hurricanes' to test me. My wife with whom I wanted to live the rest of my life decided she had another agenda. A training I had set up to teach the Living Love System fell apart. People I thought I could count on let me down. my personal curriculum at the University of Life is frequently enriched."
   
   In his first Appendix subtitled "Inventory of Childhood Survival Strategies" he almost got the same conclusion Werner Erhard of EST and that I redefined as 'fall from heaven story' (see 'all my review' for examples and please find your own -- to find what's clipping your own happiness wing)
   
   Although this is one of his fattest book, it's an easy read. He has some interesting & enlightened claims:
   
   p.66 (again part of my #)- "Sex is a crucial area that is often complicated by a parent's false-self adaptations...
   
   One out of every three women in the US have experienced some form of sexual abuse before age 18...
   
   For childhood survival, we had to perfect our performance of the strategic, false-selves required by our caregivers...every five-year-old deserves an Oscar. We had to learn the 'right' lines provided by our caretakers. We had to convince everyone (including ourselves) as we automatically responded to life situations using our false-selves."
   
   p.67 "Many of us, in varying degrees, have lost our aliveness and spontaneity. We have become depressed, unhappy, and desperate. We can become alive again and free from depression and anxiety when our self-esteem is based on the 'authenticity' and 'wholeness' of our true-self feelings-and not on the 'performance' of false-self adaptations that helped us survive childhood. When we reclaim the anaesthetized true-self parts we had to disown, WE FEEL WHOLE. We experience that we are ENOUGH. It is interesting to note that the enlightened state of consciousness is often described as transpersonal, timeless, and being aware of what's here and now."
   
   His definition of childhood abuses from the list on p. 87 include parent(s) that - physically leave you - is so busy that you get little quality time together - don't model their own emotions for you - don't affirm that it is okay for to have strong emotions... - use you to take care of their own unmet needs or desires - use you to take care of their failing marriage - hide and deny their shameful secrets to the outside world, and you have to protect these hidden issues in order to keep the family balance - do not give you their time, attention, and direction - act shamelessly with physical violence, incest, verbal abuse, etc.
   
   On both 2nd page of his introduction & p.85 Ken quoted "50% of female murders in the US are by husbands or ex-husbands!" and he wrote
   
   "The MOST DANGEROUS place for any child IS THE AMERICAN FAMILY...every year in the US, about 2,000 children are killed yearly by their parents - and millions are psychologically crippled."
   
   To be fair to the whole human world, I will take 'the' out of "in the US" out and replace that with simply "in US" to be closer to the truth.
   
   On p.91 as example of LOVE-BASED PARENTING Ken only had one example of a lighted candle & small statue on a low table and a 1-year old moving toward the table 15-20 times and her mom rushing to lovingly pick him up and say something like "you could get burn by the candle". Ken was impressed by the mom's patience & skill.
   
   That is a mistake, what the mom did was still based on fear of the child burning his hand, thus not unconditional love. I would either shift the candle & statue away or gently let my son touch the flame of the candle.
   
   The latter is what I chose to do with my 1+year old son with the fire on the oven, his automatic reflex is to recoil his hand from the heat and I said 'hot, hot, hot'. So my son experienced and understood from then on, what 'hot' is, and at the same time he didn't get burn. That is growing with understanding & gentle guidance and is a very simple example of unconditional love.
   
   The problem is that Ken is trying to 'do' unconditional love while I am coming from unconditional love or 'being'. That's why he's 'erratic' in happiness while I can be 'consistent' most of the time. A by-product of this is, he wasn't fully aware of his own 'fall from heaven story' as I do.
   
   Ken in his autobiography "Discovering the Secrets of Happiness" didn't say anything negative about his childhood or parents and there was a lack of authenticity about it. In this present last book before he passed away on Dec. 1995, Ken only has one example beginning p. 177 subtitled LOVE IS BLIND about his mom & his 2nd wife Bonita as "My mother was a dramatic, fiery redhead who hurt me by either criticizing or becoming sullen and withdrawn to coerce me doing what she wanted".
   
   He wrote only one story or a whole chapter 10 on Lydia. He was able to shift his perception of his wife Lydia as inconsiderate to considerate. That is a very good example of Jerry Jampolsky's 'Love is letting go of fear' or I would say "where fear exist, unconditional love can't exist".
   
   The synchronicity in that story is that it had to do with an apple tree, just like in the garden of Eden.
   
   Although I gave this book 5-star, there is simply NO ROAD MAP TO HAPPINESS since happiness can't be found out there, like unconditional LOVE it can only come FROM WITHIN every ONE.

5 comments about Creating the Work You Love: Courage, Commitment, and Career.

1. Rick Jarow is a genius. This book was a fantastic guideline on reinventing your life and see it as more like a work of art. He uses the term finding an "anti-career" which I think is wonderful. This is not about ways in which you can make more money or other conventional career guidance. It's more about how, when you see your life as a work of art and pursue that truth within yourself then whatever career path lies ahead of you, you will be supported by whatever it is you need. And to finish, here's a quote from Rick on what exactly is an "anti-career" "is for those who believe that it is still possible to live and act from the most authentic part of ourselves, and to express our strongest values, energies, and talents through our work in the world."

   I have used an anti-career counselor in Seattle and it too helped change my life. A must read.




2. This book deserves far more publicity and attention. While many authors toss off New Age mumbo-jumbo, Rick has actually studied Eastern religion and has made his own pilgrimage to the East. He writes from life, experience and heart. Rick is the Real Deal.

   Although the book is organized around the chakras, Rick introduces many creative and insightful ideas. For example, no other career counselor talks about family history as a career influence.

   I own the tapes as well as the book and periodically listen during drives. They're as current as the day I bought them, several years ago.




3. I bought this book with scepticism. I thought it would be really tacky. I mean, career books are not exactly high literature, and one which incorporates the chakras sounded even worse than usual.

   So I was amazed, as I read it, to find that this book is exceedingly well written. Although Jarow is a new-ager, he has discriminating taste, considerable insight, and he's just a great writer. Just about every paragraph in the book is enjoyable to read, and presents useful information, if not a rare challenge. A previous reviewer said that this book is not that substantial. He or she certainly has a point--the book largely presents challenges and guidance for inner work. It doesn't make decisions for you, recommend practical plans of action, or tell you how to find a job. But it's written for people who relate to spiritual, immaterial, idealistic things, and it provides a demanding series of suggestions, questions, and meditations to galvanize such people into joining their inner and outer worlds. If you already relate to the world primarily in practical ways, this book would probably be worthless to you. The author does suggest, however, reading "What Color Is Your Parachute" (rather than plagurizing from it) and it might be a great idea to use them together.

   Personally, I was thrilled to find that the author seems to be talking about me nearly all the time. This paragraph phrased the dilemma well: "People would tell me about their remarkable past lives as pharaohs and queens, but these same people were still working behind the counter at Macy's. What was wrong? Why was it that spiritual people seemed to be chronically nonfunctional? Why was it that not long after having some ecstatic vision or transcendant experience, I would find the same person bogged down in the same morass that they had been in before their revelation? Clearly, there was a problem" (p 3). He also puts his work in a political context reministcent of the Situationists and others: "From Karl Marx to Hazel Henderson, persuasive voices argue that the transformation of the workplace is a necssary prerequisite for human freedom" (p 5). I would particularly recommend this book to people who would like to return to their lives as pharaohs and queens, but also to those who struggle with apathy, confusion, or disatisfaction, and can handle some new-ageisms.




4. While traditional job hunting many a times has focused on one's strengths, Rick Jarow comes across more effectively with a compelling case for the same. Mixing the need to find one's work as part of life, with philosophy in general, and Chakras (energy centers within the human body) in particular is the mark of true abundance (read on).
   
   As every one is part of the same inifinite Self, one must have some strengths hidden. This strength or abundance, as Rick puts it, makes one feel most secure and at peace. One's work should be a result of this abundance. Creating a career based on one's wants and needs comes out of scarcity and hence is fundamentally a insecure and ever-debilitating reason. Due to one's such abundance, one's energy naturally aligns with such a cause and leads to most satisfaction.
   
   Each of the seven main chakras in a human body is a seat for some pyschological aspect. The author explains how to tap into these centers to identify one's purpose, and hence one's work in life. Many excercise, including meditation techniques provide such an opportunity. The idea that one's work is (also) an extension of one's lineage i.e., arising out of what his/her ancestors were doing provides a deep reason to reflect on. Writing about a parent's work/life is one such excercise that provides insights as to one's cause.
   
   Reading such a book in one-go is not an option at all. Rick himself suggests some of the excercise are open-ended as far as time is concerned. But, am I glad to have found such a book! This book drove unto me the concept of work as a life and not as a career much better than any other so far. It is a must read for anyone wanting to decide what his/her career should be.



5. I am very skepticle about "Self Help Books". I have read a few in the past, but they never reached me in any meaningful way.
   
   A good friend of mine sent me this book, during a difficult time in my life, and it truly gave me the strength to move forward and to see what was meaningful in my life and to push away all the unnecessary that was weighing my mind. Rick is truly insightful and has a way of helping you to realize that life is short and that you have one chance at it, so find what makes you happy. He then helps you to find it, really find it.
   
   Read it slow, take your time, read it over again. Don't expect miracles unless you are open, patient and really listening to him.
   
   Best of luck.

No comments about Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls.

1 comments about Sexual Healing: A Self-Help Program to Enhance Your Sensuality and Overcome Common Sexual Problems.

1. This is an excellent book. Very practical based on large experience and remarkable theoretical foundations to be read throughout. Improvements in personal sexual performance are obtained in return.

5 comments about How to Have a XXX Sex Life: The Ultimate Vivid Guide.

1. you see one and you see them all. i am sure that there are some that are better than others, but this is not one of the better ones. your significant other won't miss out on any sexual pleasure, if you don't read this book.



2. I couldn't BELIEVE how much I learned from this book-- the Vivid Girls are amazingly HOT! Jenna, Tawny, Kira, Briana, Dasha, Mercedez, Sunrise (especilly SUNRISE!!), and Savanna can out-write and out-**** Emily, Anne, and Charlotte Bronte any day of the week! And Jane Austen-- forget it! (If she'd had this book before she met Harris Bigg-Wither, the marriage never would have been called off!!) Throw away that copy of Northanger Abbey and get down to the nitty-gritty with Briana: she'll tell you how to make love in your refrigerator! I'll never look at the vegetable-crisping drawer the same way again! And Dasha's relaxation techniques will allow even the most inhibited of partners to receive BEYOND-THE-ELBOW satisfaction-- wow!! Just WOW!!!



3. I picked this book up when I was in a dating drought, and some of the info in here does help. Yes each person is different and all people men or women who read this little book will take something from it. No it is not great liteary art but is something fun to read or a good coffee table book for a single fellow. I have been lucky enough to have this book autographed by 4 of the women who have submitted material. It makes a great keep sake.



4. This book offered views from both female and male adult film stars, on how to try new things and introduce them to your partner. This book also offered personal experiences of these stars, and was a very good read.



5. If you are interested in a better sex life but are monogamous, this book is NOT for you. This book is not intended for the marriage minded. I give it five stars in respect to the author. It was not what I was looking for, buyer beware.

5 comments about Everything Happens for a Reason: Love, Free Will, and the Lessons of the Soul.

1. Suzane Northrop's book "Everything Happens for a Reason" takes you deep into your soul, in a manner that is easy to understand, as well as make sense of why certain things happen, and how we can come to the other side of those experiences with greater clarity, a fresher perspective and true understanding.
   
   I highly recommend her wonderful book to anyone who has wanted to make more sense out of life, the hereafter, and how it is all intertwined. A beautiful, insightful read!
   
   Barbara Rose, Ph.D. author of If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer! and Stop Being the String Along



2. To know the reason why- the questions are indeed the answers. This book won't/can't answer the questions, but instead gives you a tool to begin reasoning for yourself. Everything does happen for a reason and we often won't know until long after the event. Beginning the questions gives one the opportunity to start realizing some of the reasons, and can be comforting to those who are lost in the chaos.
   
   Rayna Gangi, author, "Forget The Cures, Find The Cause."



3. I went to one of her presentations as a skeptic but now I am a believer. There were no cameras or props - just unbelievable evidence that DP's (or dead people) were speaking through her. It was very electrified and emotional and heartfelt. Private but heartwarming. Unbelievable.



4. Though I believe the author offers points in which to ponder about soul progression and the afterlife, I hardly believe that she's entirely got the plan figured out. When one trudges through the chapters, it's as if she's actually interviewed God - too absolute in thinking. It would have been more enlightening if she would have presented her experiences and views as a perspective, not the law. Additionally, I believe she threw in too many client experiences that had no merit, except to show how helpful she's been to others. Mediocre read...buy it only if you find it at a garage sale.



5. Suzane Northrop shares a wealth of her experiences as a channeler, presenting arguments and anecdotes to show that:
   
   · We choose lessons in our incarnations and that every experience we have in life is another lesson.
   
   · Issues that arise in our relationships are particularly important, because we choose our parents and attract to ourselves those people who resonate with the life lessons we have agreed to take on.
   
   · Dead People (DP) continue to care about us often reach out with messages and respectful interventions (such as bringing us into contact with people we might benefit from, if we choose to interact with them).
   
   · Synchronicities - those unusual coincidences that are deeply meaningful in our lives - are arranged by DP to alert us that there is more to life than we often acknowledge.
   
   This is a helpful book to those who have a wish or feel a need to communicate with DP through a person who channels these communications. Northrop also provides helpful suggestions on how we can facilitate direct communications between DP and ourselves through methods such as meditation and holding the intent for such messages to come through. Again, Northrop provides lovely anecdotes to illustrate such communications - that occur often through dreams or physical manifestations (such as the movement of an object or activation of an electronic device).
   
   What I see as most important is the responsibility Northrop puts upon each of us for what happens in our relationships with others. For instance, Northrup teaches that DP only hold us in love, and release all other feelings they may have experienced or held in our relationships with them. If we were hurt or angry in our experiences with a DP, we can know that once they are dead, it is up to us to clear our feelings towards them. My personal experience as a therapist is that this is some of the best advice we can take on board, in relating to the living and to DP.
   
   Some of what Northrop shares is at variance with the experiences and observations of other channelers and students of these subjects. For instance, Northrop states that our relationships with DP never end. Other channelers indicate that DP may often move on to further levels of existence, severing the relationship and becoming unavailable to us. Other channelers and intuitives report that DP may hold resentments towards us and may sometimes even interfere in our lives maliciously because of these feelings. Synchronicities are attributed, by many other students of these magical coincidences, to our own unconscious wishes and expectations, manifested through the collective consciousness.
   
   Having cautioned the reader that this book is about Northrop's views and experiences, I still warmly recommend it for its practical and spiritual orientation to what others often call spirit communications. Many examples illustrate how the information communicated consoles those still living and reassures them that physical death is not the end of existence. This is an important message in our society, which in many aspects is afraid of death and skeptical about an afterlife.

No comments about Passport to Pleasure: The Hottest Sex from Around the World.

5 comments about Undressing Infidelity: Why More Wives are Unfaithful.

1. This book is wonderfully written and it shows "non-traditional" ways inwhich women are having affairs. It also shows how family systems, overlooked patterns and lessions learned for ones mother has some bearing into these relationships. The book also reveals that just because the home looks good from the outside doesn't mean that it is a perfect picture! This book is a must have for understanding the psychological picture that is often left out in examining infidelity.



2. Her interviews with cheating wives were written in the authors own interpretations. (which she writes like bad Harlequin novels) For example: The 'Doctor' affair cannot be true, no Dr would invite a new patient with an emergency knife cut wound into an empty office after hours and then attempt to seduce the married patient with lines like "leave your blouse open we are casual here" or "one man's pain is another man's pleasure" with a leering grin, can you say Malpractice suit? The other stories are all just as bad/fake and there is never any conclusion to the question on the title why do wives cheat, what is the purpose of the book? This is just boring stories of desperate house-wife wannabees that may or may not have actually happened, not a self help or informal non-fiction.



3. I am not sure whether I am more disappointed by the lack of analysis into why the women cheat, especially the ones where they said they loved their husbands and felt their husbands were trying to meet their needs, or the fact the author is so flippant about her own affair. It is good that she eventually told her husband, but the only thing she seemed to truly felt any remorse for was that her sister called her right before she consumated the affair sexually. She already did the emotional affair, but even in her own story, though she expresses relief about not taking that final step, it does not seem that she would not do it in the future or truly understood why she did it in the first place. I would like to see a book where not only the juicy details were shared, but also some analysis into the psychological and emotional aspects, even if there is no moral judgment made. Especially in light of the fact that many of these women acknolwedge that the affairs hurt their relationships with everyone. It seems to me that it would be helpful to explore that aspect of fantasy world meeting reality in deeper way.



4. In order to better understand the reasons women cheat in relationships, my husband and I read this book together. It was really interesting to get the different points of view in a non-judgmental format. Enjoyable and easy to read.



5. The subtitle may be "Why More Wives are Unfaithful", but don't be fooled -- this book offers no real insight whatsoever, just a parade of stupid, sad, sordid tales of selfish, oblivious women with no moral center. Turns out women cheat for exactly the same reasons men do -- they're a--holes. Forget about buying this book -- it was barely worth the effort to check it out of the library for free.

3 comments about The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies.

1. Since the author is a retired paramedic as well as longtime SM community member, I can't think of anyone better qualified to write about this topic. Jay first section is titled Basic Principles which includes topics such as what constitutes an emergency, and the legal aspects of an emergency (which although rather rare is a topic worth discussing here). The book's second (and largest section) deals with a wide range of BDSM emergencies, things like allergic reactions, burn care, bleeding, fainting, etc to "personal emergencies," like defusing arguments or emotional upsets, to what to do in case of a power failure or a visit by the authorities. The book also has a list of recommended first aid supplies in the third section.

   A lot of what Jay discusses in this book might be considered common sense, but in times of "emergencies," some of these common sense ideas can be forgotten. It's great Jay wrote a short book like this that gives some quick answers in the event something goes wrong during SM play.




2. Jay Wiseman's Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies provides a common-sense approach to dealing with scene-related medical emergencies. The author is a former paramedic and well-known educator within the BDSM community. The book covers a wide range of potential play-related problems from allergic reactions to cardiac arrest. There are also useful guidelines for preparing a first-aid/emergency supply kit, and a list of references providing additonal information on specific emergencies is given. The book, one of a series of "toybag guides", is compact and could easily be added to a pocket of most toybags.



3. No one likes to think about an SM scene going wrong, but the truth of the matter is that it happens. An important part of responsible SM play is being prepared for emergencies, and I know of no individual more qualified to provide education about such things than Jay Wiseman. Jay has been an SM practitioner for many years and is a veteran EMT. The advice in this book is practical and written in a clear and concise manner. I have given away copies of this book (and other books of Jay's), and will continue to do so. Other books he has authored show how to please a partner sexually, or to do lovely and hot erotic bondage, or to build your own toys, but this book--this book can save a life.

2 comments about The Bedside Orgasm Book: 365 Days of Sexual Ecstasy.

1. Ms. Gentry does a great job just adding some nice tips for everyday life. Some of them I would never have thought to do on my own. Its just nice to have something fun to look forward to when my boyfriend and I are looking to spice things up.



2. A great book for anybody who wants to add a little spice and excitement to their love life. It's written so that you can get an idea for something fun to do in just a few minutes. It's also remarkably comprehensive, with fun things for him and her. We're having a lot of fun with it.