5 comments about Love & Betrayal.

1. Betrayal is one of the most painful and difficult experiences in any relationship. It's so charged that many stay victimized by their own hurt and anger for many years. John Amodeo's excellent book addresses the issues of betrayal in depth and with great sensitivity and intelligence. First he gives us the gift of understanding and then shows us practical steps we can take to resolve our feelings and enter into new relationships freshly, with confidence and awareness.

   Like John's earlier book, Being Intimate, Love and Betrayal will deepen your relationships, but just as important will deepen your contact with your self. Take the time to read John's books. They're a healing balm in a time of need.




2. The best relationship I ever had with a woman ended abruptly when she found someone new. Our relationship had been built on trust and openness, so much so that she once said she "never had to wear a mask" when we were together. But when it ended she wouldn't talk to me. I desperately needed to know the how and the why. For almost a year I spun my wheels trying to understand what had happened, why I felt so awful. I counseled, I talked to friends, I read the books in my library's self-help section. All these things were fine, they all had some insights, except nothing addressed the heart of my pain.

   And then I came to this book in the stacks. It is beautifully written. It is logical and sensible. It shows a deep understanding of this most important of all things in our lives. And it went straight to the core of my heartbreak. Every page had a sentence or paragraph or concept that was stunning. It took me a month to read half the book, because I could not read more than a few pages before I had to put it down and think about it. I can't praise a book more than that. Finally the healing could start for me. If that wasn't enough, there is also some how-to guidance for minimizing the chances of betrayal in the future. I am still thinking through all that but it feels right. This book is a one-of-a-kind for me.




3. I got half way through "Love & Betrayal" by John Amodeo and had to put it down. While the author seems to fully understand how one who has been betrayed feels, he offered no helpful solutions for the problem. I was looking for ways to help deal with what happened to me so I could move forward without hurting my current relationship. After reading chapter after chapter of the same thing over and over again, I finally threw the book away. It's possible that the final chapters have some kind of solution, but I was looking for something positive and encouraging and didn't find that in the first half of the book. Like I said, and much like the book, I repeat, monotonous!



4. Being betrayed by someone we love and trust is a devastating thing. The author of this book discusses his clinical experiences and the process involved when healing from an experience of betrayal. Just the fact that the author explains things in a caring and gentle manner makes this book very therapeutic to read. But it's not only just that. This book gives people with experiences of betrayal hope and direction. If you are struggling with experiences of betrayal, I'd definitely recommend this book. Another book that has helped me considerably on this topic is "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is an unbelievably good book that explains many psychological things but one of them is the coping and recovery process of betrayal and loss. If you are trying to move on from an experience of betrayal, these books are both very very helpful.



5. Based on this premise, this author is amazingly adept at seeing through to our souls, to all the times in our lives we loved and trusted, only to have dreams shattered, lives wrecked and pieces all over the ground. Easy to read and absolutely true to form, this book describes what betrayal is because it comes in so many forms, somes we never even thought of, and how betrayal by trusted loved ones or others can change you, making you a person that you yourself can no longer understand. Painfully, and step by step, as you read this book, there is a high probability you will catch glimpses (maybe even photos!) of yourself. It sometimes wasn't an easy book to read when it really hit home at points, but it definitely is a must read anyhow. Dealing with secrets people keep, nasty gossip, odd behavior and all the way up to infidelity, buy this book and learn to heal. It's the only one to date I've found that at least gives you the desire to do so again.

No comments about Stop Spoiling That Man!: Turn Your Needy Guy into an Equal, Loving Partner.

5 comments about Choosing Love: How to Find True Love and Keep It Alive.

1. By far the best book on conscious relationships written to-date. Easy, short and to-the-point, this amazing book transmits an energy while helping you get back in touch with your Essence. As a relationship coach and workshop facilitator, I thought there weren't any books that had new or better information. I was wrong. This one is full of practical understandings which help you see how your conditioning is often running the show, not Who You Really Are. Whether with a partner or attracting your next relationship, this book will assist you immensely.Deepen your experience of Self, come back to your center, make your relationship a win-win. This small book transmits the wisdom that you can apply in this very moment to every relationship in your life, not just romantic ones!
   
   
   Choosing Love: A Guide to Spiritual Relationship



2. If after all the fighting and struggle and confusion, you are ready to hear and drink in the simple truth about living, loving, relating. This is more than a book, it is a treasure. How radiantly clear and simple it is to hear, when one is ready. And if you are drawn here, you are. This book is for those who are ready to get IT... to hear out of the silence, the music we all are.



3. Gina Lake's book Choosing Love is the one I choose. It's the best book I've ever read about the topic of love and how to understand why relationships work or don't. And I'm not kidding; I take my love life seriously and always look to be a better partner and find more happiness in my relationships. It's funny that I like this book because it's kind of a "spiritual book," but I'm not really a spiritual guy. More to the point, I am a single guy and have paid a lot of attention to books that can help me find and create better relationships. This one surprised me; it hit a home run with me. Gina makes so much sense and puts her message into words that really connected with me, words that made sense to me, not pseudo-psycho gobbledygook. Every guy (girls too!) should read this, at least once. I've already got 20 pages dog-eared for re-reading and now think of this book as a reference book and not one of those read-it-once relationship books and still have a need for another book. Thank you, Gina!



4. Regardless of your relationship status, this book is great for ALL of your relationships. I have found it incredibly helpful with my spiritual practice. It is clear, easy to read and that makes it easier to incoporate into practice, but we all know how practice goes... it is another weapon in the arsenal... maybe a bad choice of words, but i've had alot of warrior past lives...



5. I am fascinated by the idea of spiritual relationship - relationship that helps one to grow in presence and awareness, love and patience. It can be argued that all relationships are this way - even if only by giving us a taste of what it is like to not be in these positive states and thus propel us towards them. I wished so much to have a relationship of my own but none materialized. In my ripe 25 years I couldn't understand what the issue was. I was told by a trusted medium that I had to ground myself more firmly in presence because my ego drama came up most intensely in relationship. I didn't like the sound of this advice. I wished to hurry things along - to place myself in the right place a the right time but I could feel as I was straining and wishing and pushing to materialize love that I was going bout it in the wrong manner. I had to be in harmony with the flow of life and not against it. I had to accept my life in each moment and act from that place of acceptance instead of the bitter resistance I had shored up. My hurried energy was only making me suffer. Gina's book outlines how this natural order of relationship manifests and encourages the patience for this right timing.
   I was interested to learn from the book that appearance can play only a minimal part in a deep connection between people because I had been conditioned to believe it was of prime importance. I could see that as I grew more firmly grounded in presence, I cared less and less about appearance and more about the heart and depth of a person. I learned the importance of keeping judgment and blame out of relationship and of bringing an open awareness and loving intent into each moment. Fundamentally, romantic love to me is still a mysterious thing and the compatibilities that lead to its success are quite numerous as Gina elucidates. But I appreciate her tips for seeing the Divine in the other and how to recognize the ego as it interferes with love and happiness. In relationship or not, any step towards the peace of being is a step in the right direction.

3 comments about Heart Centered Marriage: Fulfilling Our Natural Desire for Sacred Partnership.

1. As a clinical psychologist/psychotherapist I encounter many books related to relationships and I have found one that stands above the crowd.-Heart Centered Marriage: Fulfilling Our Natural Desire for Sacred Partnership by Sue Patton Thoele. First of all, this is not a fix-it book but a book of guidance in relating to one's partner in a relationship/spiritual way. Second, the book is written so that a couple might put these ideas into very practical use; so they might experience one another in a more intimate fashion. Third, the author is quite poetic in her language style and she elicits relating at a depth level.

   Recently, there was some research about the benefits of insight oriented therapy over and above "behavior" modifying therapies. As well, Consumer Reports found a similar finding. People who can relate in a depth fashion with emotional solidity fare better in life than those who carry weak personas. This is the foundation for emotional intelligence as outlined by Goleman. So, for couples to experience their lives differently, more intimately, I would highly recommend this book as it does contain the ingredients for deep friendship, sexual relating, healthy interdependence, and most importantly, treasuring one another as gifts. I recommend thi¹|




2. Only a year and half ago, I announced to my partner that I simply did not believe in marriage, and I would not ever consider it under any circumstances. Today, we are happily married!

   When considering marriage, we had discused the pros and cons. It offered the commitment we wanted, but with that came patriarchal gender roles, impossible promises, and, as he put it, "a passionless existence until we died". Well, that certainly did not sound like something we wanted to do. I was a women's studies major in college, how could I possibly fill the role of the silent wife? I could never promise to obey, and neither could he. We wanted to keep our individuality, our spirit, our love, and our passion for one another. Still, we kept feeling the pull of marriage. We wanted to create a safe place for one another and we wanted to create a family.

   I was at the brink of giving up. I searched my way through book stores and finally found an autographed copy of &qu! ot;Heart Centered Marriage". I knew that this book offered what I needed. My intuition was right!

   For the nest few days, I read fervently, only stopping to read the especially wonderful bits to my partner, who was very supportive. We discussed the ways that marrige was suddenly available to us. We could take part in the creation of a new paradigm for marriage. We could find true 'sacred partnership', as Sue called it, through which we could be enriched, rather than stripped of our individuality. We could promise to communicate, live gently, be present, and commit to one another, with out losing our passions or our spirits. Shortly after the discovery of Sue's book, we decided that we really did believe in marriage after all-as long as it was 'heart centered'.

   At some point after our decision to marry, I noticed that Sue's P. O. Box was in Boulder, CO, where I lived at the time. Because I was not willing to let just anybody marry us, I wrote to Sue asking her t! o officiate at our wedding. I never expected to hear back ! from Sue. Imagine my surprise when I found her voice on my answering machine!

   Sue Patton Thoele proved to be more than just an author. She became our friend, a witness to our private tears, a supportive force, a gentle guide, and she signed our marriage license, 'Spiritual Mentor'. This is a fitting title, but it could never speak to how much she has meant to us. We are forever grateful for her gentle wit and wisdom. She gave us the courage to redefine our marriage and the strength to use our own voices. I am truly amazed at the new things I learn everyday in my own 'heart centered marriage'.




3. For me, Heart Centered Marriage represents a user's guide for the heart and soul. Whether male or female, single, in a serious relationship, married, or just trying to meet new friends, this book describes a way of life. Sue managed to take the feelings that I have, which are like the view through an unfocused camera, and "snapped" the focus into a clear and meaningful presentation.

4 comments about Love's Way : The Union of Body, Ego, Soul and Spirit.

1. Brenda Schaeffer's book is very personal since it reveals not only true case history but also candidly share a practicing therapist reflections. She reveals to her readers how love is available to all and to understand what it really is in the union of the body, ego, soul and spirit.

   It is a small book packed full of common sense advices and spirit awakening exercises that are just gems! Her creativity and fresh approach to therapy offers rituals and life affirming recipes to design your own love life, to overcome the bad hand that was dealt, to give each one of us winning cards and the will to discard the jokers in the deck.

   I will always keep this book as a travel guide to navigate the rest of my life’s journey. Let's hope that Mrs. Schaeffer will soon offer a companion workbook to allow her readers and students to chart their progress.




2. I know Brenda..as well as anyone who has worked intimately with a therapiest. Actually a healer of the hightest order. Love's Way is more than important book, it is an essential field guide for those wishing to lead a more healthy whole life. In a time when many of us know the "time is now" to be authentic to our live's calling, love is the way. Brenda is a rare guide who has the gifts, heart and wisdom to live what she writes about. Buy this book now and give it to others!!!!



3. This is the most complete book on what love is and isn't that I have read or even imagined. This book is way more than about romantic love, it's about life.

   Ms. Schaeffer's insights are simple and wise. And new. I often shook my head in amazement while reading. Her knowledge is extensive and could be a bit too meaty and in depth, but her writing is lyrical and easy. But make no mistake, this is not a fluf self-help book.

   I have known for a long time that love is all there is and all that is important, and therefore I have been searching as to what it is exactly. This book was my answer.




4. I highly recommend Love's Way : The Union of Body, Ego, Soul and Spirit by Brenda Schaeffer. I thought I know what love really is until I read this book.
   
   I like the recipes for a vibrant physical; healthy ego; soulful life and spirit based love life. The Body in Love; the Ego in Love; the Soul in Love and the Spirit in Love are great. The meditations are worth checking out.
   
   Quotes in "Love's Way" that I would like to share:
   
   "...what stands between you and the power of love is you"
   
   "...the most powerful human energy we have is love. And our greatest energy center, our central powerhouse, the heart, mediates that energy."
   
   "Multidimentional love is the greatest symbiosis of all. When we bring our ego,soul and spirit into symbiotic harmony by living from the heart, we create a world of amplified power. This is the real meaning of Love's Way."
   
   "Love says: I am the flow of life. I flow from the Great Spirit to you. I enter through the heart. Harness me. I am the greatest power you can know. Let me in and use me. You must take me to others. Others must take it back to you. This is the geatest circle of life. Go my friend. Never forget the words: I love you. And now live them."
   
   "Love's Way Recipe for a vibrant multidimensional love life"
   Find a handful of people willing to be lovers with heart.
   Do everything you can to open your heart.
   Nurture childlike innocence,curiosity and playfulness.
   Be loyal and honor commitments.
   Allow space for contemplation, introspection and the need to be alone.
   Understand what love really is.
   Get rid of love illusions.
   
   "The Realm of the Heart"
   Share all of you from deep in the soul.
   Become the "Good Mother" the "Valiant Father"
   Protect your body, your ego, your soul, your spirit.
   Dance, dance, dance the circle of love.
   Thank your wonderful, strong heart.
   Become a warrior with heart.
   Do lots of down to earth loving.
   Get rid of the glut and clutter in all four facets.
   Work through any inner fragmentation
   Love fearlessly.
   Radiate love frequencies.
   Bend heart to heart.
   Put Love's Way into the streets.

2 comments about The True Love Messiah.

1. Biblical history never seemed so complex but made so clear. The True Love Messiah weaves scripture quotations to create the warp and weft of this spiritual journey. The True Love Messiah The journey entertains with groundbreaking and contraversial archeological discoveries, combined with mystery, travel and personal relationships. I could not put it down!
   
   I look forward to the authors' next book.



2. This is an eye-opening account of one man's quest to know Jesus Christ, to know himself and to know the underlying origins of names, places and world history from the Biblical standpoint. The research and divine revelation of linguistics alone used in this story is worth the price of the book. Educational, vulnerable, funny, provocative, transparent and brave are all adjectives I use to describe The True Love Messiah. It reads like an adventure with a subtle omnipresence of the hand of God moving through space and time, waving at you from every direction; there is testimony here to how God finds us and not the other way around. Romans 8:29-30: "For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified." I recommend this book for adult believers and non-believers alike.

1 comments about The Little Black Book of Sex (Little Black Books) (Little Black Book Series).

1. The book was great! It was an easy read I finished it in a day, while I was on Vacation!!

5 comments about Men Who Can't Love.

1. I was driving myself CRAZY trying to figure out what I had done wrong because my boyfriend of 2 years had just sent me roses for our 2 year anniversary and 11 days later broke up with me and was seeing someone else less than a week later. I read this book and oh my gosh I could not believe that this book should have been written by my boyfriend because everything was him to a T!!! If you are stressing about what you could have done differently stop doing that and read this book. You will then see that it wouldn't matter what you had done or not done it wouldn't have mattered AT ALL because it is his problem not yours. It does hurt to know that you fell in love with someone that you couldn't have had from the start and you spend so much time trying to be everything he may want you to be and it is all in vain. READ THIS BOOK!!!



2. i read steven carter's book over five years ago. it was the first book i read when my relationship with my boyfriend started going south. at first, it seemed to have all the answers. he displayed the behavior described in this book.
   
   looking back five years, i feel this book really sent me down a dangerous path. turns out my boyfriend was not "commitmentphobic" he was psychopathic.
   
   calling what i endured a "phobia" is irresponsible. a phobia can be overcome. a phobia is harmful only to the person experiencing it.
   
   sometimes these relationships can be WAY more complicated and dangerous than a fear of spiders or high places...
   
   many many people diagnosed with dangerous personality disorders cannot commit. it's way more complicated than carter would have you believe.
   
   carter, in my opinion, simply gathered up stories from suffering women and reprinted them in a book. he provides no insight, no advice, no alternatives to his "commitmentphobic" theory. he is no licensed professional, and actually, even licensed professionals have difficulty identifying a narcissist, socio or psychopath.
   
   my gut tells me he did his followup book about narcissism because so many women contacted him about commitmentphobia and suggested narcissism to him. a little search on the web and viola! carter had his new book on narcissism - probably a weak attempt to repair the damage he did with his phobia theory.
   
   this book is a waste of time and dangerous. it will provide no answers. don't trust carter with your mental health.
   
   it took me five years to find the answers, after following carter down the wrong path. i finally found the answers i needed in two books - "the sociopath next door" and "without conscience."
   
   people with serious personality disorders aren't all serial killers. experts say 1 in 25 people is a sociopath. it just means they have no conscience, and can do anything without guilt.
   
   if your partner emotionally tortures you - i recommend you take a look at these books. "commitmentphobia" makes a joke out of something that could destroy you.



3. I should have known better. The profile of the commitmentphobic that I spent more than 7 years with was a never-married man who had had 4 children by 3 different women when I met him. He had never even been engaged to any of them! No commitment. This book opened my eyes to commitmentphobia. Before reading this book, I did not know that this was a true phobia. I also learned from reading this book about the different stages of the commitmentphobic relationship. Ours fit it to a tee! Be careful of the man who sweeps you off your feet. It is also critically important to honestly examine your own self to find out what attracted this kind of man to you in the first place. The advice in the book was invaluable. In sum, it says that the only thing any self-respecting woman can do with a commitmentphobic man is to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. He will try to come back! This is the "curtain call" stage of the relationship where he will try to go back to stage one and begin the whole saga over again. My commitmentphobe went so far as to break down and eventually give me an engagement ring, buy an expensive home, fail to move into the new house, and then refuse to set a wedding date. He simply could not do it -- just as the book says. He provoked me to leave -- a commitmentphobic's strategy that the book describes in detail. I consider this book an answer to my request for healing. Just knowing what I was dealing with has helped me tremendously. My worst-case commitmentphobic man now approaches the ripe old age of 60 and still has never been married! This is an important book to read as many woman don't know that they need to protect themselves from these kinds of men who will linger in your life forever in a relationship that is going nowhere -if you let them. Read the book and be set free.



4. I was distraught over the end of a relationship I thought was fantastic...four months of bliss and connectedness, he said he wanted to be my best friend, move closer so it would be easier to spend time together, he adored me, he was smitten. Then, let's take a step back, and a week later, he never returned my phone calls.
   
   I was an emotional wreck for several weeks - crying constantly, talking about it and looking online to see what I could find out about this behavior. I thought there were things I should have done, things I could have done to prevent this - I was really beating myself up. I found several books on Amazon and ordered them, in order to learn what I had done to destroy the relationship.
   
   I have to say this book has given me such clarity and peace of mind. Men Who Can't Love explains this pursue/panic behavior the best, and I am so ready to move along and not willing to waste any more time on a man who can not get past feeling trapped by love. A man who does not exhibit commitmentphobia may move slowly, but he will keep moving in the same direction.
   
   Just remember that he's just as afraid to commit to yes as he is to committing to a no, so don't get pulled back in. Put yourself first.



5. I just finished this book and sat right down to write this review. This book is very well-written. It is laid out in an itelligent fashion from beginning to end. One reviewer here mentions that there are too many personal testimonites, but I didn't think so. In fact, I don't know how the author was able to come up with so much content for the book WITHOUT doing so. The author has a very firm grasp on this topic. Expertise doesn't begin to describe it. I allowed myself to underline and make notes - related to my own recent relationship with a commitmentphobic man. I only dated that guy six weeks but I saw a lot of him in this book. I can't even believe some of the things the author said... stuff that might as well have come straight from MY mouth.
   
   My biggest OMG moment came on page 275. "Even at the Bitter End, he is giveing mixed and distorted messages - he seems almost incapable of giving you an honest, straightforward statement of either his feelings or his intentions." I know that quote sounds slightly elementary (like you could have composed it yourself) but that is EXACTLY what happened in my situation.
   
   Again, I only dated my CP for six weeks. The author pointed out TWO things that Steve did that were so incredibly specific... we're talking the Princess and the Pea here. This author can spot a CP from a billion miles away. When Steve and I would cross the street at an intersection, he would walk a lot faster than me and not hold my hand. Then he would stop, turn around and call me a slowpoke. The other example blew me out of the water. The author said that there can be tell-tale signs in a man's home that he doesn't want to get too close or eventually marry. One thing that really bothered me was that he never cleaned his bathroom. His house was the house he grew up in and I don't know how many years previous his mother moved out. The toilet had streaks of black all around the inside bowl. It was mold. His shower was worse. I couldn't even look at it. The book said, "he has a bathroom that no woman in the world would want to use." I just about DIED. Yep! This book nailed Steve in his little six-week buttocks. Even he couldn't escape the radar of the CP Expert, Steven Carter.
   
   This book is worth WAY more than the cover price. It has helped me a lot. More importantly than getting over this relationship, this book will help me to recognize future CP's and spare me untold amounts of pain.

No comments about Letting Go of What's Holding You Back: Maximize Your Happiness in Work, Love, and Life.

3 comments about The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles.

1. At a stage in my life where I thought I was going crazy, this is what I needed. married with children, but not wanting to split my family, I think that open marriage is a great altrnative, and it's great knowing that I'm not alone in this dilema. Only one problem: getting my straying husband to read it!



2. The first edition was in 1973. The 2nd was in 2000. It reads like a 1973 hippie idea of marriage.



3. This is a really basic book. So many better ones around. Not worth reading unless you are very isolated.