1 comments about The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage LP.

1. 
   I have listened to Dr. Laura for years... I want my marriage to be strong and endure time. My spouse and I have had previous marriages and I want to learn what "I" can do different in order to make it my last. I am more then half way through the book now and it has made take a close look at my actions, attitude and the choices I make. It seems obvious once you start to read but it is difficult to look at ones self constructively... the book is a great tool for me to look at me and has given me insight

5 comments about Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships.

1. All couples should read this book from well-known talk radio therapist Dr. Laura. The advice is valuable for anyone in a relationship.



2. I bought this book for my teen-age granddaughter who is dating age, I also bought one for her boyfriend. I reviewed the book and it had good advice not only for the novice dater, but for those individuals who have been dating for years and wondering what's wrong with their past relationships. Clear and concise advise. Good book.



3. I was in a Relational Development class in college and we had to read this book for an assignment, I found it quite humerous and also disturbing. Some of the stories that are told do touch your heart and then you will have some stories that will make you want to jump out of your skin and yell at disturbed spouse.
   Over all Dr. Schlessigner 10 Stupid Things People Do To Mess Up Their Relationships Dr. Laura touches on key problems that she sees as being crucial reasons why couples do not usually last. Specifically she notes secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, priorities, happiness, excuses, liaisons, mismatches, and breakups. Her fans call and write her and tell her their problems touching on these stories and she gives her opinion on the situations and defends her points with their stories.
   10 Stupid Things, is not based on fact or studies. It is based on one woman's opinion. Dr. Linda simply tells her opinion from either her own experiences or other people's similar experiences. She helps people who are choosing to write to her therefore, they already like her ways of thinking and her advice; which is why she is helpful to them.
   
   I did like the book overall and did find it an easy read, you will enjoy also and even if you have a million and one things to do, this book will move by swiftly.



4. "What women don't allow, men can't and won't do." ~ pg. 8
   
   Whether you are dating or married, Dr. Laura has sage advice for couples who are destroying their relationships with stupid secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, priorities, happiness, excuses, liaisons and breakups. She takes each topic and weaves her wisdom through listener responses.
   
   "What, if any, information from your past are you obligated to reveal during dating, engagement and marriage." ~ pg. 13
   
   The first chapter is the most revealing and some of the advice is surprising yet wise. Dr. Laura differentiates between privacy and secrecy. The two topics she focuses on are sexuality and finances.
   
   Most of the issues in this book stems from people acting badly and realizing the error of their ways. Some of her listeners root out selfishness and replace it with giving. Through the listener responses you can find creative ways for turning around stressful situations. At times all people are really looking for is some kindness.
   
   ~The Rebecca Review



5. It seems that Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil (both from the Oprah end of the rightwing religious political spectrum), have together colonized the known universe of "pop psychology," or what their fellow conservative ditto heads refer to as "psycho-babble."
   
   Like her other books in this series, this one too skims the surface and snags the low hanging fruit for those poor souls who have no idea who they are, or why they are in a relationship in the first place? Neither Drs Phil nor Laura seems to care much about the preparatory work of building sound personhood based on introspection and personal awareness, as a necessary foundation for using these ten prescriptions, which in any case must precede them if there is any chance of them being deployed successfully. The idea that there are shortcuts to these very serious issues is just another cheap marketing device, and both Phil and Laura diminish the title doctor when they traffic in this kind of "cure in a bottle misery." It is "snake oil" by another name. But hey, at least it allows them to laugh all the way to the bank with their consciences intact.
   
   This book and others of this genre are the equivalent of the much-revered American tradition of giving canned foods to the poor at Thanksgiving. It is a gift to the giver, not to the troubled: For anyone who has ever been poor knows that the last thing you want to do is give poor people handouts, least of all canned foods. This only makes them feel worse about their condition. What they lack most, of course is not food, but dignity and connectedness.
   
   In the same way, what troubled couples usually lack is "a relationship with at least one whole independent or aware adult" in them. Feeding them the equivalent of psychological canned goods is a cosmetic fix that makes Drs Phil and Laura feel that they have done something good for society, but this "psychological cotton candy" cannot possibly fix a troubled relationship, the source of which is that it is inhabited by "partial" rather than "whole" adult human beings.
   
   Without the more robust understanding to be found in something minimally on the order of Dr Viscott's "The Language of Feelings," these 10 prescriptions (as well as those in Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue") are like plugging the dike with ones little finger.
   
   But what the heck, something is always better than nothing, right?
   
   For something, both books get Two Stars.

4 comments about Bad Childhood---Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood.

1. Before I purchased and read this book, I was on the fence, "Did I have a bad childhood?" Well the answer is no, I did not, at least not to the extent that others have had bad childhoods, but the lessons taught in this book in fact can help ALL of us to not take things so personally, and to enjoy what life has given us now, as adults. I love Dr. Laura, I don't alway agree with her, but this time she is just trying to help the adults in this country grow up a bit.



2. Dr. Laura really hit the nail on the head when it comes to my childhood. I have successfully "survived" my childhood as a product of divorce, manipulation, neglect, and mental abuse. This book helps people move on and gives those that have moved on a different way to look back.



3. This book has some great advice but it is sometimes expressed very rudely. She starts this book out excellently, explaining how isolation dehumanizes people. I loved the first half of this book, but then it got too negative. Most people who have moved on needed and received some empathy somewhere. For those who haven't, find others who can understand what you're going through and hear you out with a positive outlook. I found how to do this for myself and others when I read a great parenting book, Between Parent and Child. I also received empathy from people like this at my church. Oh, and for those who say Dr. Laura is advocating turning to the Christian God to heal, I saw quite the opposite at times.
   
   Jesus taught that forgiveness is essential; Dr. Laura disagrees.
   He taught that there are times to cut relationships off; Dr. Laura agrees.
   He taught us to love everyone, including Mom; Dr. Laura disagrees.
   He taught only those who deserve it should be thought of as family; Dr. Laura agrees.
   
   When she agrees with Christ, I don't think she means to. Minimal references to Christianity was in some of the quotes of real live experiences of those who have moved on to a "good life".
   
   In the back of the book, Dr. Laura shares some of her family life growing up, which I found very interesting.



4. If there is dysfunction in your relationships or any aspect of your life (you, your spouse, children, families of origin), this is a must have, must read book. While not written for a particular type of dysfunction, the advice is cognitive-behavioral based and covers a range of criteria for various disorders found when flipping through a DSM-II (Psychiatric Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
   
   For example, someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has difficulty with intimate relationships, anger and depression. Dr. Laura does a good job intimating the changes in thinking and behavior that underlie the path out of these issues. This is not to say that this is a recovery book for BPD or any other mental disorder, but it could easily be a supplement to therapy (the treatment of choice for BPD). Furthermore, if your therapist does not agree with the majority of advice in this book (no one agrees with anyone else 100% of the time), I'd find a new therapist or you'll probably find yourself in therapy for years on end with little to no progress. That is, your therapist is letting you skirt personal responsibility for problems in your life (including skirting personal responsibility for HOW and WHAT you think).
   
   Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or one of its progeny, has become the treatment of choice for a wide range of issues that underlie OCD to drug addiction. Many people get caught up in their emotions and work to change them. This method is backwards. By and large, one's emotions are a byproduct of what or how one thinks. Change your thinking, and your emotions will follow. For example, if you want to be happy (basically an emotion), change how you think, and you will be happy. Often, changing your thinking is simply a paradigm shift (not always, of course...shifts won't do a lot for psychosis). Of course without CONSISTENT APPLICATION of these techniques, no advice or therapy is helpful. Change to a better life never falls on one's head while lounging by the pool, sitting in front of a TV or reading yet another self-help book (your thirtieth). If you don't APPLY these changes, your life will never change, regardless of who and what your spouse, children, parents, the auto mechanic or your neighbor does. That's not to say that if any of these people are abusive/evil (vs. sometimes annoying), you don't need to remove yourself from a connection with them. That's part of taking responsibility for your life/yourself. Sometimes applying these changes in thinking requires enormous effort initially. Withstand the discomfort, frustration and one step backwards after three steps forward! It WILL become easier and effortless with practice and time. All of these life observations and advice are part of this book.
   
   As in most of Dr. Laura's books, a recapitulation or sound bite from a call to her talk radio program is woven throughout the text with added commentary. I believe this is helpful in personalizing the advice, as well as reminding the reader that he or she is "not alone" in their issues.
   
   One thing in particular that I liked about this book vs. books in the same vein by other authors is that Dr. Laura gives better insight into what selfishness and/or self-centeredness is and how to change it (which in the end "gets" you more than being selfish or self-centered). So many books advise one to "get out" and do for others (charity work for example). What self-centered people have been neglecting is not charities, but their own significant others, children, jobs, elderly parents, etc. These are one's primary obligations and responsibilities and the first things/people they should begin "giving to" in order to unlearn selfishness and have a more fulfilling life. I can't imagine that a neglected family is going to see or feel a change in their spouse/parent (or their importance to him/her) when he/she ditches the golf clubs and spends Saturdays and Sundays at the soup kitchen instead of the golf course. Nor would this "window dressing behavior" bring about this spouse/parent feeling more fulfilled, connected or less self-centered. By all means, reduce your "me time" and "me thoughts" and give to others "outside" your primary obligations, but only after you have given to those who are dependent on you or make/have made sacrifices for you.
   
   The last chapter of the book summarizes the steps necessary to make a big dent in your life and happiness level. If used as a guide that you stick to (i.e. APPLY CONSISTENTLY), you can't help but have a much better life. While I am less of a fan of Dr. Laura herself (some of her issues have issues ;-) than I am a fan of her advice, (which is usually SPOT ON), she too is growing like all of us, and demonstrates this expressly in her latest book ("Stop Whining..."). Nonetheless, this book coupled with one of her earlier written "Ten Stupid Things Men/Women..." would, in and of themselves, be excellent guides for anyone on this planet. They should be required reading for everyone, the latter especially for your mid to late teen children.

5 comments about Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.

1. I have never really been into self-help books. After listening to Dr. Laura on the radio, this book was mentioned for guys just like me. There were a few places where I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or not, but that happens to me anyway. I was amazed to see how well she could see how guys really think, and to guide us in a perfect direction was brilliant! I only wish that I could have read this book 15 years ago. Maybe my life would have taken a different direction. I hope that more and more young people can read, understand, and apply the teachings that this book has to offer.



2. Dr. Laura. They love her or they hater her. Put her name aside! Think about the "basic dos and do nots" for creating a healthy relationship and looking for that special someone. This book lays it out very nicely. (I also recommend "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives".) I think this book might make a nice jumping off point for discussion with your teens as well.



3. I gave this book to my son, he is a senior in high school and 17. Alot of real life examples of what not to do as a man. Reinforces what we have been teaching him. I think a must read for boys his age.



4. I bought this book with the hope that it would help me see how my recently failed relationship came to be. Turned out to be the best thing to help me through what rates as my toughest life challenge - divorce. I made it a point to read every night before bed to help me concentrate on improving for the future, not the failure of the recent past and it worked great and is still helping. The best part is that it is not preachy in any way and she gets the point across by using the real life situations of her callers / letters. My ex should definately read this or the other one for women, that's for sure!



5. Whether you love her or hate her, you have to admit that Dr. Laura is provocative.
   
   I read this book 15 years or so ago as a young man in my 20's. Although I have forgotten most of it there is one question that she poses that I never forgot and will teach my son someday.
   
   The question is...., "Ask yourself when choosing a partner, is this the person I want teaching my children values." Hmmm....
   
   Well it saved me from marrying a fiance who cheated on me while we were engaged, and wasn't going to tell me until after the marriage.
   
   For that if nothing else this book is well worth it.
   
   Cheers!

5 comments about Set Your Voice Free: How To Get The Singing Or Speaking Voice You Want.

1. This book is one of the best vocal exercise book's I've read. It is very practical and explains everything clearly. Roger Love does a great job of 'demystifying' the voice and how to get it to work for you. The vocal exercise CD that is included is invaluable. If you want a strong middle singing voice, or a great speaking voice, this book is for you.



2. SET YOUR VOICE FREE... is a wonderful book for anyone who wants to learn how to improve their voice. Whether you want to sing or speak better, author Roger Love will show you how to get there.
   
   Ok so you might not become the next Sinatra or Streisand, but the book does explain how your vocal cords make sounds, how to practice, and how to breathe properly. The book never gets too technical or boring, so it's easy to understand.
   
   The book comes with an instructional cd that's over one hour long. On it, Love demonstrates what the various types of voices--like nasal-gravel-breathy etc. that he describes in the book--sound like. He also provides examples of what chest, middle, and head voice sound like and vocal excercises for both male and female voices.
   
   It's almost like having an instructor there with you. I can't tell you how helpful the cd is. Love also provides examples and two excercises that will help you, almost instantly, identify what true vibrato feels and sounds like and helps you create it.
   
   There's also a brief section in the back of the book that provides Q & A with people who work in the music business for those who want to pursue a professional singing career.
   
   I don't want to be a singer, I just wanted to be able to carry a tune because I love singing. And SET YOUR VOICE FREE... has helped me do just that. I may not sound like Josh Groban and I still have trouble getting to middle voice, but my voice has become clearer and stronger.



3. I'm 45 and recently decided to pick up my guitar again and start performing solo after a 15 year break. I never was much of a singer - always strained my voice on the few songs I'd sing with the band - but now, going solo, I really needed to start over and learn good vocal technique.
   
   I'm glad I'm not a quitter, because after 4 months of frustrating voice classes, I quit and looked for another perspective. I found Roger Love's book at my city library with the CD for hearing examples of what he's talking about in the book.
   
   Roger explains the concept of your "middle" voice with regard to how it manifests itself physically - something no-one in all of my years of helpful hints or even voice classes ever mentioned. Roger gave me a tangible idea I could focus upon.
   
   I had heard once that most popular music was sang in your "falsetto" or "head voice", but could never understand how people were able to get the full vocal sounds they got doing that. Roger gave me valuable insight into this ability with both words and audio tracks and corrected misconceptions I had from listening to, well, everyone else.
   
   Roger gave wonderful helpful advice and stories of other students who'd had the same difficulty I was having, saying "don't give up, your middle voice is in there somewhere". After two weeks of not giving up, I just found my middle voice. It's so incredibly liberating. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I'll be able to do those songs I wanted to do but couldn't because they were out of my range.
   
   I wish I could write Roger and thank him personally for getting me past this hurdle. If you want to sing well and are having conceptual difficulties like I was, you simply must read this book. Maybe your friends or your voice coach will cover this material without it, but mine sure didn't, and it made all the difference.



4. I bought this book second hand. It is full of the sort of out of date information that I sort of expected from the welter of self publication that surrounds it.
   
   There has been an extraordinary amount of voice research published in the last 25 years, and that which does not support the central premisis of this book doesn't surface in the text.
   
   The vocal folds simply do not zip up to provide pitch transitions. I have asked the authors for a reference to stroboscopic evidence of the zipping of the folds and I never got an answer. This is because the vocal folds don't zip up. They elongate to produce higher pitches.
   
   And what is more, the larynx rises with pitch change. It's a natural response to the the pitch - just try it yourself. Put your hand around your throat and say mmmmmm moving the pitch up and down and feel the movement that has happened in your larynx since birth.
   
   Read about it these and other voice issues on the NATS website where there are lots of informed articles on voice. You may decide you want something a bit less personality centred and rather more accurate.



5. I've been through a number of these vocal courses by book and this is definitely one of the best. He gives you really practical exercises throughout, including very task specific ones like finding middle voice, eliminating particular vocal problems or replicating the expressiveness of song in your speaking voice. I've been through a number of those courses that basically just have you singing "aaah" scales up and down and this is definitely beyond that level.
   
   I haven't actually started practicing with them, so I don't know what the long term results would be. After going through more than a couple of these lame courses I have taken to reading the book through first and just testing the exercises before dedicating any significant time to them. I'm definitely going to put these through their paces.

5 comments about Bad Childhood---Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood.

1. I personally don't like the lady (Dr. Laura) however her advice is based on good science even if it is bent to her beliefs. I'm sure she would agree that it's far more important for us to love ourselves than to have others like us.
   
   If you're still angry with your past or just not happy with life, this book might help you take a new look at your life and give you an idea of what you can do. The power of change is with in you if you can unlock it. (and if you're not too chicken to change)



2. I read this book a couple years ago and I have had time to think about it since then. Dr. Laura is an intelligent and determined person. She gives some common sense advice, which is actually hard to come by in these wishy-washy times. However if you are a Christian reader like me, it's important to remember that Dr. Laura is Jewish. In case you don't know, people of the Jewish faith don't believe in Jesus. It is clear through her tough, lay-down-the-law manner that she is not familiar with the grace of Jesus Christ. She said somewhere in the book (in so many words) that some people are too screwed up to get married and have a family of their own. On the contrary, with the cleansing and renewing work of Christ, all things really are possible. If anyone was too screwed up to get married and have their own family, it would be me. My childhood sets the standard for a life of drug use, criminal activity, sexual deviance and social dysfunction.
   
   That said, she drives home a very important point which is that you don't have to live the life of a victim. We receive a very strong message in our current culture that you can be a victim of any number of big or small things, giving you the right to blame everyone and everything except yourself for all your problems. And funny, people like this tend to have a lot of problems. People from seriously abusive backgrounds like me and maybe you could sit around comparing pain and competing for a bigger free-pass to be messed up. Yes, it's true that your childhood experiences effect you profoundly. If they didn't, there would be no reason to treat kids well. There is hope though, and the time comes when you are an adult who can't just live a life of total irresponsibility with no consequences ...well maybe if you're a celebrity. But not in real life. I would recommend this book with the added perspective of remembering where she's coming from if you're a Christian.



3. The book contains good suggestions for a productive life, and useful ideas and concepts to overcome difficult life experiences, but only if the reader is ready to implement them. The author, by sharing her own challenging experiences at the end, validated for me that she understands and has lived and found a need for doing what is encompassed in the book.
   
   I have given a copy of the book to each of my children with an apology for the 'bad childhood' I gave them. I feel I made a honest effort to break the cycle and not pass on the things I had to live through to my children. I know I didn't succeed entirely, but I know the things I view as being the worst of my childhood were left in my childhood. I hope it gets them on their own road to full, happy adulthood. I'm glad the author took the time and made the effort to help others grow and progress and be happy.



4. I do not like Dr. Laura. I think she is mean. I have no idea why I picked up this book, but I am very glad I did.
   This is such a grounded and compassionate book. I've mostly focused on spiritual books for healing childhood pain, you know Wayne Dyer, Deepak, etc, but I needed this to really help me over the hump. I buy it for people all of the time, and get raves about it. I think what I love about this book is the characteristic Dr. Laura brutal honesty, but it is tempered with understanding and kindness. After reading this book, I am finally able to be completely honest with myself about what I can expect from my parents, (and others too), so that I stop trying to get a response that I'll never ever get. I'm much happier now that I have stopped trying to get "juice from a rock", as Dr. Laura says.
   I didn't have a "bad childhood", but I very much needed this book. Don't let the title sway you. If you are reading this review, you must need this book too. Get it.



5. This book has some great advice but it is sometimes expressed very rudely. She starts this book out excellently, explaining how isolation dehumanizes people. I loved the first half of this book, but then it got too negative. Most people who have moved on needed and received some empathy somewhere. For those who haven't, find others who can understand what you're going through and hear you out with a positive outlook. I found how to do this for myself and others when I read a great parenting book, Between Parent and Child. I also received empathy from people like this at my church. Oh, and for those who say Dr. Laura is advocating turning to the Christian God to heal, I saw quite the opposite at times.
   
   Jesus taught that forgiveness is essential; Dr. Laura disagrees.
   He taught that there are times to cut relationships off; Dr. Laura agrees.
   He taught us to love everyone, including Mom; Dr. Laura disagrees.
   He taught only those who deserve it should be thought of as family; Dr. Laura agrees.
   
   When she agrees with Christ, I don't think she means to. Minimal references to Christianity was in some of the quotes of real live experiences of those who have moved on to a "good life".
   
   In the back of the book, Dr. Laura shares some of her family life growing up, which I found very interesting.

5 comments about The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.

1. Some people hate Dr Laura...I love her. She makes my 6 hour drives to visit my folks a breeze. I always laugh and I'm always shocked by her. The irony is that not only am I entertained, but she makes consistent and true points. I've been listening to her since about 1993 and I consider myself now 'Dr Laura Certified'. Even if you hate her, she about 97% right (maybe that's part of what people hate?) Of course, I still can't help but snicker about the fact that she was divorced, so how can you take advice from her about marriage? Well, we seem to learn more by making mistakes, don't we? I gave this book as a shower present and the bride- who I thought would scoff at it- tore through it in two days. She said she's read so many relationship books over the years, but this was the only one that held her interest and made immediate sense.
   
   I don't mean she made sense in the way that Dr Phil- a goof with his own traveling circus, in my opinion- seems to make sense. He simply takes common sense and makes it sound like a revelation (and follows it up with highly unrealistic solutions). Dr Laura actually injects logic into her responses- once you get around the snippy reactions and lack of patience she has with her callers. And I find that hilarious (and the callers know what to expect, anyway).



2. We are always told to treat others the way we would like to be treated. This book helps explain how to treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. We often get into a rut of blaming each other, nagging, and reviewing a list of unhappy events in arguements. This books helps to explain how to move forward. I find myself discussing instead of argueing with my spouse. In the end we both get what we want -happiness.



3. A great book for those male or female who want a better understanding of marriage and the differences in the sexes. I bought 3 copies; for myself, and 2 of my adult daughters. This book helps to remind me that when my husband seems alien to me it's because he is a man - not a woman! It is also a good reminder to give all of yourself to your spouse and the miracle of how my attitude and giving love will prompt a more kinder and gentler partner not only in myself but also in my husband.



4. "You alone can change the destiny of your marriage." ~ Dr. Laura
   
   Dr. Laura begins her book by railing against feminist ideas. Instead she fights for a woman's right to act like a woman and encourages women to appreciate masculinity. Instead of hating men Dr. Laura presents ideas for how you can love men and even depend on men for support. She definitely is in favor of men and women taking more traditional roles, especially if there are children involved. Women are discouraged from working unless the husband can't work and men are encouraged to be the main provider in the family. Dr. Laura supports her views with letters from her listeners.
   
   Your experience may be quite different if you (as a woman) have to work to make ends meet. My husband says I'm happier and more fulfilled when I work so some of the ideas in this book don't work for me. I agreed with a lot of this book but still think Dr. Laura is favoring men. One woman's husband agreed that she could go visit her relatives while he was busy working overtime, then he wanted her back for a social occasion. The woman seemed happy to have returned home to support her husband. While it is fine to change your mind, what about honoring a decision you have made previously?
   
   The best parts of the book are the question and answer sections. Some of the questions included:
   
   What do you, as a man, most admire about women in general?
   What do you, as a woman, most admire about men in general?
   What is the most important thing you think modern men don't get about being a man?
   What is the single, most important expectation you have in a wife?
   
   What bothers me most about this book is how Dr. Laura encourages women to stay home most of the time. She doesn't seem to see the entire arena where women are making a difference in the world by working. What about nurses and teachers for example? Should they never get married or have kids? Even Dr. Laura works!
   
   Some of her other tidbits of advice seem to work in regards to keeping a marriage together. There is a section on divorce that is well worth reading. She shows you how to keep your spouse happy and how to appreciate the differences between men and women. The advice in this book could save your marriage especially if you have been against seeing men and women as being intrinsically different.
   
   "Peace and happiness are the results of loving and giving." ~ Dr. Laura
   
   ~The Rebecca Review



5. I have not read the book as I gave it as a gift to my son and his fiance. However, I am a loyal listener of Dr. Laura and I know that her books have helped many people. I pray this book will make a difference in my son's marriage.

5 comments about Stop Whining, Start Living.

1. Dr. Laura Schlessinger received her PhD in Physiology from Columbia University, and her certification in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling from the University of Southern California, becoming a marriage and family therapist. With years of experience in therapy, and many hours of experience on her talk-radio program, she has written many books, including nine New York Times bestsellers. In this book Dr. Laura dispenses advice to those who are ready to stop whining and start living. Using copious examples from her show and from personal correspondences, she shows the readers how they can reject negative thoughts and habits, and embrace a more positive, outward-focused life.
   
   Overall, I found this to be a wonderful book. At times it is thought-provoking, and at others it is wonderfully uplifting. I found the examples she used to be excellently used, often making Dr. Laura's point before she has added a thing. I think that this is a great book, one that should be read by everyone who wants to have a positive outlook on life, as we all at one time or another focus too much on ourselves and our problems. I highly recommend this book!



2. Overall, I found this to be a great book. Thought-provoking, and uplifting. This book should be read by everyone who wants to have a positive outlook on life, a real necessity these days.
   I read the book together with my wife and it helped us cope with stress from your job, family, and money issues.



3. Dr Laura was 'spot on' with advise given in her book. I purchased the book with the intention of furthering my own education and helping other people. After reading her book I have now passed it on to several of my friend's who are a bit stuck in their own world at the moment.
   
   Great information, great book.
   
   Bev Chad



4. This book is AWESOME! Life altering, confirmation of everything I believe about life in general. I AM not a person who suffers from depression, in general I totally dance through life, but... I just went through a HELLACIOUS DIVORCE from a 23+yr marriage and I was having some SERIOUS issues, I am a Christian so, I firmly believe in the goodness of God and that all things work for the good of those that love God and are called according to his purpose.
   
   I was a stay at home wife and mother, I homeschooled my kids and my life was my family, I was never going to get divorced: but it happened to me!
   
   Awful: it's not a good story so I won't tell it, but I will tell you that I have not seen my child in almost a year now and it feels like the most painful experience of my life, this is my baby, I birthed her, nursed her, taught her how to read, math etc. I slept with her until she was 11 and rubbed her back/head/feet daily, I adored her. SHE is my LIFE.
   
   I could not move forward without her, I finally started living again when I got this book, it was such confirmation of ALL the things God was telling me, I dance and every page of this book speaks to me and reminds me that life may not be the party we hoped for but we might as well dance.
   
   Good stuff. Plus, focus on the light, edit out the bad... I have a new baby (not mine, I didn't birth her) but mine none the less, SHE is a fat 8 month old CupCake that is making me VERY happy and I am so blessed everyday to have her, if these things hadn't happened to me, I would not have been where I was when the call came in and I am so thankful and this book reminds me everyday that life is a choice, that I can move forward without my daughter. + I'm getting her back! It's only a matter of time, in the mean time, I am loving this baby with EVERYTHING in me, I hated people telling me 'it's time you started caring about You' I HATED that, I don't have to/want to care about 'ME'. I'm good, always, I'm caring about this baby, THAT is who I am.
   
   I am HAPPY and I don't need anyone to 'explain' any of this garbage to me anymore.
   
   Life is GOOD! Plus I have a great testimony to tell people that there is a God, that he cares for you and he will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. My ex took my baby, and God gave me a new one, one that needs a mother who is sober and knows how to love little princesses. CupCake is a princess in the Kingdom of Sugar.
   
   I SERVE AN AWESOME GOD! Life more abundantly, bring it on!



5. Dr. Schlessinger is a best-selling author, award winning radio therapist and a former professional licensed marriage and family therapist. The book is a collection of documented phone calls to her radio show sprinkled with her consultations. Given her background in marriage and family therapy, it is not surprising that this book is weighted heavily in issues, examples and discussions in these areas - and almost exclusively from a woman's perspective. So unless you are interested in these areas, you'll find yourself skipping entire sections of the book. That being said, I found these refreshing pearls of wisdom both from the good Doctor and from her callers:
   
   1) Closure isn't necessary - or sometimes even possible...most of the wish list rarely comes true. And it is very wise to let go of a persistently rotting rope, isn't it?
   
   2) Trying to make things be different by going over them again and again only fixates you in the past. Letting go of that rotting rope with your hand firmly gripping a better philosopher, a wise counselor, or a loving friend or relative as a cheering squad gives you the possibility of greater peace and happiness
   
   3) "The longer you behave in certain ways, the more it comes to define you, not only to others, but also to yourself."
   
   4) Too much talking. Whine less, do more. "I have learned that there is great power in taking action in directions where I have complaints or have been wronged by someone - and most of all, by taking forward steps instead of dredging up the past and displaying my suffering.
   
   5) Perspective. How are you doing: "Better than some and not as good as others."
   
   6) You are what you give (to others and yourself). You are what you do - first do good, then feel good.
   
   7) Endure. "The point of documenting all these calls and letters is to give you enough scenarios that one might strike you as way to close to home; and better still, before it become "impossible." For some of you, then is now. You are already whining and feeling perpetually trapped...yet the whining state is just about the only condition you imagine is possible. Let me repeat an important concept: enduring. What we can't change (or fix) must be endured. That means the whining stops because you set your mind, heart and soul to how to make the best out of a situation you'd rather not be in...but it is too late. You must be polite, nice, helpful, positive, kind, patient; you know, some of that actually is potent salve to make the unendurable even pleasant. And enough of that might change the situation completely and for the better."

5 comments about Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives.

1. During a discussion with a friend of mine about a relationship issue I had, she made me promise to get and read this book. I have to say, it's a definite must read for any girl, lady or women that has any question about a relationship she's in. The author gives so many great examples of her callers and patients that I found myself able to see a clearer picture of what I was doing in my relationship.



2. If you consider this book as nothing more than "common sense", count yourself as blessed - some of us actually needed to hear it. I bought this book at a major turning point in my life and it changed the way I looked at my future. Dr. Laura is "technically" right on almost all moral points but she does, at times, lack grace which, I admit, bothers me. And yet, at other times, I have heard her exhibit heartfelt compassion to her callers. But anyway, it is not for me to determine the motives of her heart; I can only say her advice is sound and her standard is truth.



3. As a female, when you move in with a guy without a commitment, the mistake is always the same: YOU HAVE NO LEVERAGE, and to make things worse, it is in fact, partly your own fault by way of collusion. If things go wrong and you realize he doesn't want to get married, keeps making excuses, he doesn't want to have kids, etc., you can never say "Then why did we get married?," because you never were, and you still aren't.
   
   This book is a prophecy to those who think they can get something for nothing by "living together" and as a short cut to staying together. Personally, if I'm going to live with someone, I might as well get married, or not move in at all.
   
   I've known several people who have moved in together, and it always ends badly, or someone begins WHINING, because they caved in and knew better, but have gone into denial. At some point, somebody wants to take it to the next step, while the other doesn't, and because there's no marriage vow to keep them together in the first place, the one who wants to bail out has it a whole lot easier, because they know the other has no leverage. The other person who wants out, has leverage on their side, and they know it.
   
   Where it gets really bad, especially for girls, is when they subject themselves to CAVING IN SYNDROME. You tell everyone you won't move in with this guy unless he asks you to marry him. Blah, blah, blah. He doesn't. You cave in, and move in. This is where your undoing begins.
   
   So, you move in and he never asks you to marry him, and you whine, and whine, and whine. That doesn't work. So, you get depressed and start spending a lot of time at Dunkin' Donuts, and your slim figure begins to resemble chunky chicken, and to make matters worse, it is at this time you figure that if you're not getting married, you might as well start seeing other guys. Well, now you have a compound problem. Most people with any sense are leery about seeing someone who is living with someone else. And you look like chunky chicken, so you're not going to attract the guys you want.
   
   Now, let's say you do attract a guy and you "get together". You have to ask yourself, if he would get together with me while I'm living with somebody, what does that say about his character, and mine, when we become a couple and one of us gets bored, or things get tough?
   
   Now, instead of thinking something is better than nothing, you realize that something is the same as nothing. Caving in doesn't pay off, in all sorts of situations.



4. I think every woman of all ages should read this book. It is interesting to read, simple to understand, and so true.



5. I don't know. I bought the book as a gift and haven't spoken to the recipient since. Personally I loved the book myself

5 comments about The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

1. The title may put people off, but the content of this audiobook/book is excellent and will help couples greatly. I enjoy the audiobook as I can listen in the car and I've listened twice now to the book. It's very informative and practical advice for improving lives. Highly recommended.



2. I truly enjoyed and got a lot out of Dr. Laura's Proper Care And Feeding Of Marriage, however The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands is a bit insulting to women. I've actually been the wife who's husband had an affair and I can honestly say, I didn't drive him to it.... What are you thinking Dr. Laura?



3. I love this book and bought it for a good friend of mine who is getting married soon. It is one of the best books that can help a woman understand her husband or men in general.



4. This is an awesome book that strengthened my marriage. As a result, my husband is even more helpful around the house than he used to be. I highly recommend reading it with an open mind. If you are not willing to give 100% to your marriage after reading this, good luck keeping your marriage alive & healthy.



5. I give this book (along with a similar book by another author targeted to men) to young engaged couples (and recommend it widely to others).
   
   A lot of the men read her book. They rave about how well she gets it. She says "men are simple creatures". The men agree (we are simple creatures, truley we are). She explains how to interact successfully with men. The men say she has it exactly right.