5 comments about Fabulosity: What It Is & How to Get It.

1. Since watching her show, 'Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane" on the Style Network, I've become an avid fan of the self-styled, self-proclaimed diva. In the spirit of all things fabulous, I decided to purchase the book thinking it would be as fun and as over-the-top as its spirited author. I was not disappointed. With that said, the book, which the author hopes will serve as a self-help manual-- one that gets you in touch with your inner diva (Be yourself but be a slave to fashion as well.) -- is far too self serving for Simmons, an owner of a clothing/style empire. The message is possibly damaging to her young urban audience who need more lessons on the important of education and the delay of gratification than what shoes go with what purse.



2. Well, first off, I had always been captivated by Kimora, and figured if anyone knows about being fabulous and could teach us a thing or two, it would be her. But after a couple chapters into the book, I felt that this was more about her out to clearly promote a certain image of herself, one apart from Russell, that she wants us all to have for some reason.... (grooming us for the ensuing divorce from him?).
   She carefully monitored her words through this,& repeatedly pounded an image she wanted to project of having "already made it big" in her teenage years WAAAY before her marriage to Russell Simmons. Oddly, the only reference of a modeling year that she refers to several times in the book was ..."when she was 13" . She made sure to try and appear to keep it real by injecting some experiences of human vulnerablity, and gave a few small glimpses (detailed descriptions) of her monied world, but spent much time referring back and repeating about this "great and extensive European $50k-a week modeling career" she supposedly had through high school, and how she learned to: live on her own in France, smartly taking control of her finances, conduct herself in business, and handle life's lessons...all at the age of 13! Hardly believable. Then looking at the provided photos in the book, I found it very curious that there was only 1 of her (pre-Russell Simmons) modeling years, a United Colors of Benneton ad, where she looks like an average pug-nosed teenager. So I Googled about 50 pages of Images for her and still found NOTHING of any modeling photos of her in that decade before marrying him. It seemed clear that her real objective for writing the book was to convince everyone that she had "made it" way before Russell Simmons came into her life, which I dont think anyone really cares (nor believes). I'm sure she was beautiful and fabby when they met, and Russell married her and elevated her into his monied life...so what?
   Now, I am interested and intrigued in the opulence of the rich & famous like anyone else, and I love to hear the anecdotes of the successsful, but Kimora just doesnt appear to really have any real depth from life's lessons to offer us, in that she went from being basically a teenager to marrying Russell. Its easier to be beautiful and fabby with lots of money, and obviously any of her hardships were always easily overcome with their money. She didnt present anything that showed real blood sweat and tears about her life, or any profundity. I would have rather have just read the truth from her and been intrigued by the power of money to solve problems, and the fun it can bring to a girl's life. Russell would probably have given us something with much more redeeming value if HE wrote the book!
   With the Baby Phat business, I'm sure she certainly must have gone through the guts of up-starting a business, but once again, the obstacles hurdled and the resolutions implemented took money to get through, (which she had, and which she did successfully), and so nothing inspiring there. Basically after reading completely through the book, I got the impression that she was still rather immature and a still-self absorbed game playing girly-girl for one now in her mid 30's. There ARE some good, inspiring quotes that she includes from other celebrities, like: "The thing women have yet to learn is no one gives you power, you just take it"(Roseanne Barr). These made me want to read books by THOSE people. Overall, I came away feeling that Kimora is highly calculative and probably thinks most of her readers were pretty easy to manipulate. There was some amusing things in there, but she doesnt really give of herself genuinely. If anyone, I think this book is best suited for early 20-somethings, who want to learn how to present a certain image, and possibly maximize their potential opportunities in the business world, or if you just want to become more intrigued by Kimora's self-promotion. Not really for a more matured (not talking 'old' here)audience that is already comfortable in their own skin, but are just looking for some profundity and inspiration for an elevated "image makeover" out of the soccer-mom lifestyle.



3. This book definitely reminds us of some good advices we typically tend to forget. It can in fact help you gain some confidence. It's also pleasant and easy to read.
   Nevertheless, I think that it would have been much nicer in a more concise form as, right now, it's really a "girly girly" book, which rather promotes its author, more than anything else.



4. Not much to say, but "fabulosity" is what it is! Kimora, thank you for contributing to society in many positive ways! Readers: Buy it and review it for yourself.



5. I sincerely enjoyed this book! I've read many books on the subject of how to build brands and businesses, but Kimora gave me exactly what I was looking for! She gave details on what it takes to brand a SUCCESSFUL company and I'm clear that successful branding starts with myself.
   
   If you're in the entertainment industry, this book is a must read for women who need that extra FLARE!
   
   Great novel Kimora! You're my new mentor!
   
   thecartelpublications.com

5 comments about Guided Meditations: For Calmness, Awareness, and Love.

1. As other reviews have stated - it is just the guy's voice... he has a very faint accent (somewhat Irish, but again - very faint). His delivery is unhurried, and smooth. No background music is both good and bad: it's great because if done poorly that can really be distracting... but if done well it does help, and can also block out background noises a little too. This CD will work best if you're fortunate enough to have absolute silence to work with... which for many of us simply isn't the case.
   
   The breathing meditation is really good - you can really relax to it and he keeps your mind at rest nicely. The 2nd mdeitation is nice as well, and has some positive affirmations mixed in: a nice "feel good" meditation. the third is a "walking meditation"... I don't foresee using that one, but I do like the first two a lot, both in there own way are great.



2. The voice of Bodhipaksa is very calming to a stressed out mind and body.
   I now use this meditation CD and another CD of his,Guided Meditations for Stress Reduction as a routine part of my life. They are and continue to be plesant and peaceful experience. It is my opinion that anyone would enjoy these CD's



3. It could be that after reading the rave reviews I expected more, but I think this CD was mediocre and way over-priced.



4. I found this meditation to be forgettable. Long bouts of silence throughout. If I am going to pay for a CD, why would I want to pay for silence? Just not what I was looking for. Very little guided meditation. A lot of down time.



5. This is a wonderfully relaxing CD. The instructors voice is calm and soothing (with an intriguing accent) with instruction that is straightforward and easy to follow.
   
   I am new to meditation and relaxation that I am developing with my yoga practice and I found this to be a valuable addition and if I do not haave time to set aside for a full session, I do find even giving myself a few moments is helpful.

5 comments about Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What!.

1. Excellent book with real life examples. I can relate to this book like few others. Martha Beck is fantastic at presenting what she knows, experiences and understands. This is beyond anything "The Secret" gives us.



2. I read it and did the exercises. It's one of those self help books where the author says one thing in one chapter and then unsays it later in another. If her advice doesn't work it's not her fault, it's yours. She doesn't agree with the "Secret's" premise that our thoughts become our reality which I give her credit for. But while all of this has made a nice career experience for her, it doesn't really help. We already know to think positive and keep going. It's murky enough so that you don't know for sure it's psychobabble until the end.



3. I am in the midst of the most turbulent changes of my life. As I had been nearing some options for decisions, my body would become tight, pained, or just plain anxious. My mind wanted to go one way, and my spirit another. It just left me plain confused about what the heck was going on. I never watch Oprah anymore, but in looking at the schedule I decided to record one on the laws of attraction. This positive thinking has always bugged me because it seemed to cast blame if challenge happened in life like if a person got cancer, it must be something they thought of or did to create it. Martha Beck was on that show talking about Steering by Starlight. She is the first person who I have found who basically has had challenge in life and then reflected on ways to think to go through the process so that a person can see the value in the challenge. She embraces emotion and shows how to work with it. Steering by Starlight is amazing and has been heaven sent to me. It has been my user's manual for life challenge. She explains the dreams, coincidences, feelings, and conflicts that happen when a person is in the midst of their life falling apart. It is like advice from the really wise friend you have always wanted. I bought the CD and listen to it all the time as I drive. I have bought the book for four different friends. I cannot recommend this book enough.



4. i notice many didn't care for this. it sounds like a follow up to North Star so if they haven't read that 1st....
   
   I haven't read this - but North star SAVED MY LIFE. Also - i was in the place to change - i had hit rock bottom, THEN picked up the book. If you are already on your true path, you probably don't need Martha's kind of help. Lucky you!
   
   In my review of North * i note the best part was the map of change and the "yes, changing will SUCK - but it can be ok!" - nice change from all the other help books that just tell you to manage better.
   
   In saving my life, I have lost much. A marriage, a custom home, a cross country move, friends, health care providers, church, book club. But now, after 2 years - I think it will be worth it - i am much happier and getting healthier. But i am sooooo glad Martha warned me and helped me think it through properly - BEFORE I made risky choices!



5. For those who are a fan of Beck's North Star book this is a continuation of her method. Contains excercises, case studies, commentary, and other tools from her Polaris Training. A serious read and good reference material for those seeking their sense of direction.

5 comments about Zen And the Art of Happiness.

1. I love this book! It's small, yet profound. One of the best books I've ever read and I read a lot! I've bought several more to give to others. If you are thinking about getting a copy - get one and then once you read it, you'll probably want to get more for your friends/family. I also recommend Thich Nhat Hanh's books- very very good.



2. This book is a great example of good things coming in small packages. At only 142 pages, it can easily be read over a long weekend and the only reason you'll stop reading is when you stop and reflect on what's inside. Prentiss presents some great elemental concepts of thinking and perspective in a clear, easy to read manner.
   
   I will admit some of the descriptions and anecdotes were a bit tough to grasp at first, but when Prentiss tells the story of his reaction when his new car got scratched everything in the book seemed to fall into place for me. When that happened, I actually went back to page one and it was as if I was seeing through some kind of fog for the first time.
   
   For me, this book is a great first step - I've since picked up several other books on Zen thought and Buddhism and I hope I'm as happy with learning from them as I am with this great little book. Prentiss' book has also inspired me to act on a daily basis - to create good habits and to stop playing the victim card so often. This book will stay in my permanent collection and I will be purchasing copies for my friends and family soon.



3. I purchased this book as I was begining treatment for Depression and even though it may have "nothing to do with zen", the message of the book does bring a zen-like peace when I read it. I would recomend this book to anyone going through tough times.



4. Once in a while, along comes a book that simply 'blow's your mind'and at the same time increases your understanding about life like nothing else does. The Zen art of happiness is just such a book.
   Before I read it I used to wonder why adverse occurances in my life happened. In fact I used to dwell constantly about them making myself unhappy into the bargain.
   The author, Chris Prentiss asks the reader to start off by accepting the premise that these so-called 'adverse events' are perfect for us and exactly what we need to work on in order to strengthen our weaknesses.
   Not only that, he maintains that 'the Universe' (some would say God) knows our every word, thought and deed and responds by sending these occurances to us.
   He maintains that we constantly contravene 'Universal Laws'(example is the law of cause and effect)that are as real as gravity and unlike man-made laws, never change and are applicable to everyone no matter where they live on the earth.
   The book is only 160 pages long, but is packed with information that feels 'intuitively true'.
   I am now into my fourth time of reading and I am still as excited by his work as I was the first time.
   If you want to become happier by making sense of life, then get this book that I rate as one of the best I have ever read.



5. I think this is a great little book. I am a Christian... where as some Christians think reading a buddhist book goes away from Christ, many of the topics and practices of the buddhist are very Christ like. Where the author may speak about the energy of the universe, I just see that as God. Great reminders here to remove our focus off ourselves and think of our neighbors... and isn't that also what Christ taught! Great book for anyone trying to grow in who they are... I will read this one over and over.

5 comments about Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

1. If it weren't for this book, I might not have written one of my own! Pamela D. Blair, Author The Next Fifty Years: A Guide for Women at Mid-Life And Beyond



2. Though I recently bought a 1990 edition of this book it still is quite relevant to this day. A well researched book which really makes one aware about how one can enhance the quality of one's own life. A must read for all those who are in purusit of happiness and beyond. I have been through what Mihaly describes as the state of 'FLOW' many times before. In fact at the time I was reading 'FLOW' and even at this very moment as I am writing these lines of this review I am experiencing 'FLOW' and the book apart from resonating that feeling has provided me with the awareness of ways of sustaining this state longer and has taught me how to bring this state about more often and perhaps in due course at will.



3. An very perceptive piece of work that helps you grasp what contentment and a sense of well-being means, and how you can endeavour to achieve this. I wouldn't tag it as a self-help book, rather it's an illumination of what it means to be a human being, and how it's possible to find contentment in many ways and very importantly to be at peace with yourself.



4. I stumbled upon Flow and was pleasantly surprised. The book, based on extensive research into the nature of happiness and man's most fulfilling moments, promises to provide steps towards enhancing the quality of life. With many examples and concrete suggestions, I found that it delivered to an impressive degree.
   
   From the appreciation of art and science, the deepening of friendships and romance, the establishment of a long-term life goal, and the continuous challenge of one's intellect - I found almost all of the book's suggestions to be based on sound reasoning.
   
   The single most important factor in achieving happiness in life is, according to Csikszentmihalyi, actively taking charge of one's attention and creating order in the conscious mind. Csikszentmihalyi recommends a life of continuous challenge, learning, and focus; and provides many useful guidelines for doing so successfully. The reward? Enjoying the "flow" experience often, which he describes as: "...a state of concentration so focused that it amounts to absolute absorption in an activity. People typically feel strong, alert, in effortless control, unselfconscious, and at the peak of their abilities. Both the sense of time and emotional problems seem to disappear, and there is an exhilarating sense of transcendence."
   
   While some of the above may seem self-evident, I found many principles in the book to be accurate and non-trivial. Especially in its description of the conditions for "optimal experience," including clear goals and rules that provide constant feedback, matching the levels of skill and challenge, unselfconscious absorption, and the expenditure of mental effort as a prerequisite for enjoyment. Perhaps even more useful was a review of common reasons why most people don't experience "flow," or enjoyment, very often.
   
   Despite some disagreements I have, such as with mechanistic or genetic explanations for chosen values, and an exaggerated stress on experience over fact, I found this book overall to be a well-reasoned and useful guide to improving daily experience.



5. Interesting book, explains how and why you are the way you act! Difficult to understand some times.

5 comments about Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment.

1. I bought this book hoping for a primer on positive psychology. Instead, I got a self-help book which told me pretty much nothing new. A couple of the meditations in the last section were interesting, but overall this book was fairly disappointing.
   
   Also, that whole bit about referring to happiness as the "ultimate currency?" The first time the author mentioned it, it was so stupid and corny I wanted to cry. The fact that it was mentioned again on practically every page from that point on really didn't help.
   
   One good thing though - the author does spend a decent amount of time talking about Czikzhentmihalyi's concept of "flow," which everyone really should get familiar with at some point. It's nice to see it there, but it still doesn't justify buying this book.



2. I bought this set of 4 cds to listen to on a long road trip, thinking to catch up on the latest popular course at Harvard. We really couldn't listen to them all--it was just too platitudinous and uninteresting. Sometimes people work hard for a goal and then discover that when they attain it they aren't joyous. Pure hedonism can't make you happy, though there are times when a little hedonism is a good thing. Think about the times when you were happy. What were they like? How about meditating a little every day? We were too bored to go on. Probably the point of the book could have been made in one lecture-length cd, but stretching it out to 4 didn't help, so if there is a 'secret' revealed in #4 we missed it.



3. This book certainly introduces some central concepts which I found illuminating and useful. There are quite a few exercises ("time-ins") which everyone should do at some point in their life, if not regularily. I found some of these to be better than others whilst a few appeared to be there just for the sake of filling up space.
   
   The writing itself is a little self-helpy which is something I couldn't quite get over. I would've liked to have more hard data and information to challenge me in my thinking around the topic. Much of the book is also repetative and I felt it was at times patronising.
   
   It took a bit of concentration to get over the writing but once I focused on the topic at hand, I found the information quite illuminating.
   
   All in all however, if you can get over the writing and into the crux of the topic, I think it's a very useful book and definitely worthy of a good read. Some of the exercises and meditations are useful and are things I would encourage any person to at least try.



4. This book is a wonderful confirmation of my 77 years on earth. I have given three copies to my psychology compatriates. The basis for happiness is located inside and as with humor, wonder and curiosity fed by our contained energy part. So watch the drains (also in others). Thanks to the author I have freed myself even more from the jealousy of others.
   Pieter G. Kuipers,
   Sneek, The Netherlands



5. I really enjoyed this book. It was easy to read while on the go with short opportunities to read a few pages. I found the can-do perspective empowering. Basically the author tells you that being happy is in your control and depends on what you choose to do and how you perceive things. There are lots of exercises to do along the way that I hope to go back and incorporate into my life and some I hope to make a ritual, like composing a gratitude list once a day.

5 comments about The Power of Positive Thinking.

1. I was looking for a read that would inspire and propel me forward at a time when my life was somewhat less than 'light and breezy'. I learned that Norman Vincent Peale was the seed for many of the current popular self-reflection books and decided to start with "The Power of Positive Thinking". I am not disappointed in my selection of this book but it is certainly not a quick read or a page turner. I find that I must put the book down and reflect on the message which is uplifting and reassuring ... just what I needed. I have actually passed the book onto a friend for that very reason.



2. This was a gift from my parents. Such a great book and very helpful with life's issues. Definitely a book that can be read multiple times when needed.



3. I found myself a bit distracted by the lack of specific references as to who the annecdotes were about. A lot of "a certain high ranking executive in an important industry, in a major US city..." These days we expect to be told which executive in which industry and and which in which city. Maybe we have all gotten a bit more skeptical about sources in the Internet age.
   But that quibble asside, I have been making a concious effort to put Dr. Peale's ideas into practice, and found them very helpful. In another 50 years the presentation will seem more dated yet, but I am sure the ideas will be no less important. I am glad I bought the book.
   As as has been noted in many other reviews, this book is about living a rich, full, happy life in a Christian framework. If that's not what you are looking for, keep looking!



4. An oldie but a goodie. Everything in this book was so uplifting. Wonderful daily reminders. Lots of suggestions to improve your life. I love that scriptures are quoted. Who knew the Bible book of Job first spoke of the law of attraction! Interesting stories of healing and the mind/body connection. Must have been quite controversial back when it was first published.
   Don't be put off by those who say it's religious. I am not religious at all but rather I say I'm spiritual. I will reference this book often.



5. I was at a very low point in my life, having just been laid off from my job, depressed and feeling very unwanted. I was looking through book titles and this one caught my eye. I didn't really know much about the book but it sounded like something I could use. I started listening and the more I listened the better I felt. So much of what was said hit home for me. I found myself listening to this audio book whenever I was in the car going to an appointment, going for an interview, anytime I needed to feel better. Some of the sayings from this book continue to resonate within me at the times I need to hear them the most.
   
   I highly recommend this audio book.

5 comments about Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment.

1. I had expected more scientific research supporting the book's thesis, than mere happiness surveys or quizzes about how people feel and their moods in specific situations. Soon I realized that my expectations could hardly be met, since fortunately happiness is is one of the most subjective issues and although objective factors like wealth and health have an influence on it, every individual has his personal (maybe genetic or maybe learned) patterns or attitudes towards life.
   
   You can find all the quizzes in the book and answer them yourself to rate your levels of optimism, happiness, etc., which is interesting per se. The author also presents the results of the surveys performed with many people from different countries. This also gives interesting data about which factors have a greater influence on happiness, always showing that specific circumstances alter the results. For example, persons that have had a successful surgery in their recent past (which is a sign of illness) are happier than healthy ones (One might wonder!)
   
   I had first skipped the section on kids, since having no children myself, I had no interest in the topic. I returned to this chapter after reading the rest of the book and I found it extremely interesting, indeed one of the best parts of the book. I would really recommend its reading to parents, although I'm lacking first-hand experience as well as any kind of authority and have never read other literature on the topic. Maybe more experienced persons can refute the author's propositions, as apparently is the case, still I find this section worth reading and worth judging by yourself.
   
   The last chapter is related to finding a meaning in your life, but it is full of tortuous philosophical arguments for a kind of religion without God. I do not believe it will help anybody to find a meaning in life and on top, the arguments are extremely difficult to follow. Better look for meaning somewhere else.
   
   One of the books main thesis is that you can achieve happiness by doing things that make you happy. These are things that have a meaning or ar significant or by "submerging" yourself into an activity to fall in a so called "flow" state. For people interested in Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience I will not recommend Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi's book on the topic, because I cannot properly spell his name and because I have not read it yet (although I will, since his book is one of the most quoted by authors of totally different fields). Instead I will recommend First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently and its sequel Now, Discover Your Strengths. These books tell you why sticking to your strengths makes you happier than insisting on doing things in which you are not good at (by achieving flow). Do not expect a scientific demonstration of this, just the results from a series of Gallup surveys that show that most of the times this is what people feel, packed in a management book format.



2. Gives you insights into personality traits and how to authentically be happy. Interesting approach however, my favorite book, Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Workbook with its wonderful info on the Law of Attraction otherwise known as The mSecret shows you how to be happy through their use of many exercises and a journal.



3. Dr. Seligman's book should be the first read on any list of books to help in finding happiness. Dr.Seligman is one of the recognized world experts on what contributes to happiness. He provides tests in the book and also on the authentichappiness.com website to help the reader identify her/his "signature strengths". They are those characteristics that are our truest strongpoints. He suggests trying to incorporate as many of them as possible into our daily lives and paying less attention to other characteristics that aren't our strong suit.
   
   Naturally, the book is very helpful not only in finding happiness in everyday life, but also as an important tool to guide in career selection. I review the basics concepts of this book with my college management students each semester. Other reviews I've done provide a fuller listing of many excellent happiness and kindness self-help books, but it seems sensible to me to start with this book. It's only logical to identify what our strongest traits are upfront so we can bring them into play in relationship to the wise advice contained in his book and in others I've listed.



4. Definitely on my recommended book list. A must read for women in business.
   
   Susan Bock
   The Success Coach for Women in Business
   www.SusanBockSolutions.com



5. I used this book for a course I took and it was very informative. I enjoyed learning about how to evaluate one's frame of mind and look at things in a more positive light. Using our core strengths is definitely a must, in order to live to our full potential.

5 comments about The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships.

1. This book is extremely helpful. I often wondered why I give up so much of my own personality to blend in. Now I am working on recovering my personality so I can be a leader and be myself. I am sure there are enough doormats in the world without me being one too. Everyone should read this book!



2. It s changed my life, talk about a paradigm shift, a must read for all



3. was just a bunch of stories and told me nothing I didn't know already. It was okay as a one time read but not something you can read over and over. Might be good for some but I wasn't impressed.



4. This book has changed my life and the way I now see all of my relationships. The first chapter however is a little bit of history and to me seemed a little "pro-women". Once you get through that chapter the rest of the book is wonderful. Easy example and serious is explained and can be interpreted into your own life. It really opened my eyes in a lot of areas of my life. It actually showed me that what I thought was other emotions was actually anger and that the patterns I was in were causing it. I have re-read the entire book (minus the first chapter) twice now, and highlighted important thoughts, example for a refresher when needed! I would recommend this book and have actually bought a few friends there own copies to help them! If you haven't read it, I would say start reading now! I know the first time I read it I couldn't put it down! Life changing read!!!!



5. Dance of Anger is the most important book I've ever read in my life. It helped me get through a very challenging time, and I read it again every once in a while just to revisit its important lessons. If you have anger, read this book!

5 comments about Stumbling on Happiness.

1. Excellent book!good quality!absolutely no difference with a new one.shipped on time to my house.its just so wonderful



2. Daniel Gilbert takes us through the elusive study of happiness in three phases.
   
   1) He convinces the reader how nearly impossible it is to measure happiness, along with all the falicies of attempts to measure it. He concludes "The best you can do is ask someone how they're feeling at any given moment"
   
   2) He shows many problems with individuals predicting happiness. We tend to overestimate how much we enjoy things, and how long the happiness lasts, as well as overestimating pain from negative occurances. He shows why this happens (one reason is too much focus on recent events) as well as how our memory fails us similar to imagination.
   
   3) He closes with a tentative recommendation on what to do - in general it is not good to ask for advice, but it is relatively reliable to ask people how they are feeling at any given point in time.
   
   The subject is soft and squishy, but Daniel Ong manages to create a book that is readable, enjoyable, and even useful. Well done, and well worth the time!



3. I bought this book because I wanted to know how I could become happy. However, this book turned out to be a long list of psychological experiments that proved how badly human imagination and memories are flawed and follible. Yet the author concludes that nothing is better than our imagination and memories to depend on to predict our future happiness.



4. This book is fabulous. As much as the content informs on the human condition, the frolicking experience of reading it reinforces it. Makes me glad to be human. Highly recommended!
   - kara



5. Gilbert notes that the frontal lobe evolved in order to control the environment in our quest for safety and pleasure (avoid/approach reactions). It does so largely by trying to predict the future. Unfortunately, we often stumble because our predictions are so often based on poor information gleaned from our past and present experiences through the filter of our inaccurate memories. In other words, we tend to repeat false assumptions and often poor decisions when predicting our futures so that when we do actually find happiness, it is often stumbled upon rather than planned.
   
   As Gilbert says, "In order to have a smooth rational-seeming reality, we fill in what we don't know with details that are often wrong and leaving out details that are actually important if we realize them. And we do this seamlessly and largely unconsciously." "We tend to accept the brain's products uncritically and expect the future to unfold with the details- and only with the details- that the brain has imagined" He further states, "What we feel as we imagine the future is often a response to what's happening in the present and we predictably underestimate how different we will feel in the future."
   
   Inaccurate predictions begets poor decision-making which often leads to an unhappy state. We then tend to rationalize our unhappy outcomes to make them more acceptable to ourselves which means we are likely to make the same choices in the future.
   
   
   Any resultant feelings of inadequacy and lower self-worth can lead to even further repetition of poor choices. When in the discontented state, the mind seeks more stability and control. But what does it do? It rationalizes and continues to base its predictions on information from an often inaccurate and unstable past and present and fails to learn from experience.
   
   For example, if you feel inadequate and odd in the sense you don't feel you fit in, you may seek out and depend on others that you see as being similarly inadequate or odd- the very people, if you do depend on them, that are most apt to reinforce your feelings of inadequacy rather than help give you the stability and centeredness that you seek.
   
   Thus, the vicious circle continues as one clings to ones old ways...
   
   So, in the search for stability one may cling to the tottering present in order to seek peace and happiness, but the result is most often a repetition of the past. The myth of Sisyphis comes to mind as one pictures the endless attempts to perform an impossible task such as rolling a boulder part way up a hill that is too heavy to reach the top and doing it over and over again...
   
   But is it impossible to overcome the tendency to embrace failed thoughts and actions so that at least we stumble less and are happier with our lives?
   
   Of course and careful observation of others who have found happiness is one recommendation.
   
   .