5 comments about Made From Scratch: A Memoir.

1. This book was great! I read it ONE day and I'm not a fast reader, but I just couldn't put it down! Gratned, it's not the most well-written or gramatically correct piece of writing I've seen in a while, but who cares! The story is real and honest and so is the woman behind it! The way she tells her real-life story is engaging and inpsirational! k! While I agree that her tablescapes are not always "easy" or "inexpensive," and her food is often chemically ladden with all of the "starters," and artificial crap in it, it IS easy! I think Ms. Lee is a very savy, smart and intelligent business woman, who yes, happened to know the right people and be in the right places at the right times, but hey, she worked her butt off, literally, for years and years and obviously, still does! I can't help but admire a hard worker! I think Ms. Lee's heart is/was always in the right place and her charitable work is admirable! I also liked the fact that she so honest at the end with how this book came to be! She states she's not a writer and also shares some of the pain in re-visisiting these memories and writing this story. I also liked that she acknowledged her divorce and how painful that is, many people glide over that facet of their life, I appreicated her honesty! All and all, I have a WHOLE NEW RESPECT and admiration for Ms. Lee after having read this book; if you want a quick, fast, easy and highly inspirational, encouraging read, you've found it!



2. Reading about Sandra Lee's upbringing was very emotional and heartwrenching. Made From Scratch is a very apt title. Did not have any idea what a hardscrabble childhood she had. I was interested in learning that she lived in Sumner, just a town away from me. She worked so hard and kept a good head on her shoulders through horrors hopefully none of us have experienced. She truly deserves all the success she has enjoyed. I hope she continues to flourish. I did not know about her former Beverly Hills/jet-setting lifestyle either so it was interesting to get a peek inside that world. I recommend this book--you will have a better understanding of Sandra Lee and her semi-homemade empire.



3. With a childhood like Sandra had, you wonder how anyone could survive, let alone succeed. What an inspiration she is! I could not put this book down.



4. I became interested in Sandra Lee's past after hearing others on the Food Network mentioning her hard life. Sandra made her own decisions growing-up to have a better life than her parents. Every time she was knocked-down, she got back up and moved forward. A riveting read.



5. I think Sandra's book "Made From Scratch" is lovely. She told her life story without self-pity, bragging or anything negative. She worked very hard to get where she is and I don't think she stepped on toes to get there. Even people who deserved nastiness were written about with respect. It is amazing how far she was able to go with that childhood and I am impressed that she has kept her family so close. I don't care if the writing is perfect; it's a memoir not a work of literature (and I didn't think the writing was bad anyway).

5 comments about Divorce For Dummies (For Dummies (Psychology & Self Help)).

1. Overall this book covers a lot of important topics with regards to the whole divorce process with good explanations and definitions. While some areas could have gone into more detail and perhaps provided some worksheets or step by steps guides, I don't think any (critical) issues were left out. While some other books I've seen stated the obvious and left you thinking "well duh"...this book had good information throughout.



2. I prefer books that are state specific such as Texas Family Law Guide, Louisiana Family Law Guide, etc.



3. Divorce for Dummies is a thorough overview of the divorce process and ways to make it easier and less expensive. I know the authors from interviewing them for my Internet radio show, [...] and other articles, and I know they are very careful in the resources and information they present. I also believe they really do have the consumer's best interest at heart.
   
   As a consumer educator myself, I know some of the information -- especially related to finances -- is crucial. I've talked with so many people over the years who have been burned because they thought everything was taken care of with the divorce decree. Unfortunately, that's not the final word on how things will work out! That is especially true with regard to credit. If you have joint accounts PLEASE read their warnings or you may likely get stuck with your ex's bad credit for years.
   
   Even if you have a great divorce attorney, he or she won't have time to cover all the topics in this book with you, so I recommend it to make sure you're well-informed. One more caveat -- make sure you get the 2nd edition of this book, which is the most recent!



4. This book hit on many topics and is a good reference book to use throughout the various stages of your divorce. Touches on a wide variety of things and generally answers some questions you might have. Some advice in this book I did not see in other divorce books such as what to do about debt in both of your names. Outlines what to do about credit card debt in both names as well as mortgage debt in both names. Mortgage debt is harder to get out of your name even if your spouse is awarded the asset. You are both still liable for mortgage debt until it is paid off or refinanced. Even if your divorce decree says that your former spouse is responsible for paying it. Book tells you how to communicate with credit card companies in regard to protecting your credit.
   This book is worth reading because you will probably learn at least a few things you did not previously know.



5. I found this book very interesting. I am not divorced nor married, but the book provides a wealth of information to know before entering into marriage. Protecting oneself is key and I feel Divorce for Dummies opened my eyes to what I did not realize.

5 comments about Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce.

1. After reading many, many studies on the subject of divorce, support and custody, and also personally being a single father for 13 years with sole custody of 3 children and also being a non-custodial parent of one younger child I feel I can comment objectively on this book.
   
   First off, it is clearly very well written, covers almost all aspects of its subject and uniquely combines views from an emotional point of view as well as legal point of view. It also strives to be unbiased and provide clear representation of both parents. I do recommend this book but do so with one caveat (hence my rating of 3 stars rather than 5).
   
   The book is riddled with hidden biases in favor of Mom rather than Dad and the reader should be cognizant of that. Also, it is not clear that all aspects of studies are clearly represented. i.e., both sides. The tricky thing is that both sides are mentioned but even when there is a preponderance of studies favoring one side, it seems the authors may lean towards the other side. A fairer presentation of studies supporting both sides would be really beneficial (particularly on child custody, visitation, overnights, bonding, etc.). Many of the studies are represented in summary form and as such remove a lot of important context.
   
   A good example of a hidden bias:
   
   "The Paradox requires that parents take into careful consideration how well their children are able to tolerate separation from their mother, the child's temperament, and the strength of the father-child bond prior to divorce, and weigh all this against the likelihood of the father staying in the child's life...." Page 203 - determining custody arrangements.
   
   This seems like a very objective statement but upon closer examination it is clear that the authors are concerned with whether the child(ren) can tolerate separation from mom but never question whether or not the child(ren) can handle the separation from dad or what that impact might be. In addition, it questions the father-child bond but never suggestions that the mother-child bond should be evaluated as well in such a determination. The phrase ends with us weighing all of this against whether or not it is likely that dad will stay in the picture - again, what about mom. Studies are increasingly showing that even when mom has full custody of her children she can be less than a model parent for a variety of reasons.
   
   Here's another:
   
   "The amount of time between father and child is important because it facilitates a closer parent child relationship. But time does not automatically equal closeness. The quality of time spent and the level of involvement .... are ... more important." Also Page 203 - determining custody arrangements.
   
   Again - sounds objective enough but actually why is this represented only in terms of dad. Isn't this statement true for moms as well? Phrased as written there is an assumption that mother time does equal closeness and that it is automatically quality otherwise why point this out only for fathers during a discussion on custody which should be gender neutral. If the term was written with parent in place of father then it would be truly objective. As written it supports the notion that moms are custodial parents and dads are visitors - and not to worry about the amount of time dads spend - but worry about the quality of time they spend. So to be fair, don't worry about the time mom spends with the children, just the quality of time she spends - thereby freeing up large amounts of time for dad and children.
   
   These are only 2 examples but please read this book with caution, such biases are sprinkled all through out the book (perhaps because the authors are both moms) and amongst a backdrop of authority, general objectivity and mastery of the subject matter which makes them all the more dangerous.



2. Divorce is one of the most grueling experiences anyone can go through, and this book is a great guide for easing the challenges. The book is packed with information on the legal and emotional issues that are likely to arise -- and how to deal with them. The topics span the board, from making the initial decision, to preparing for trial, to how to talk with the kids about it all.
   
   THe authors have a section on negotiating with your spouse, and I think that that is essential. They mention the work of Harvard's Roger Fisher, who just published a new book that you don't want to miss if you're dealing with divorce. The book is 'Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as you Negotiate.' (The chapters on autonomy and appreciation struck a chord with me and offered great advice.)



3. Interesting book coming from both the perspective of the divorce lawyer and a psychologist. Some good, solid advice here. While going through a divorce you should gather as much information as possible and know how to protect yourself both emotionally and financially.
   
   Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce



4. I know the author of this book and she is an expert. If you are contemplating a divorce or going through one, definitely get this book. It's written for you.



5. This is the single best, most complete divorce book on the market. It took me from start to finish and saved me from making some expensive mistakes. Because there's a psychologist who's writing, too, and not just a lawyer, the book tuned me in to some things I hadn't thought about, like how my kids feel if I say something bad about my wife in front of them, or why it's hard to get my financial records together (because it symbolizes that my marriage is actually really over). All in all, this was a super helpful book and a bargain.

2 comments about How to Do Your Own Divorce in California: Everything You Need for an Uncontested Divorce of a Marriage or a Domestic Partnership (How to Do Your Own Divorce in California).

1. Nolo Press was founded in 1971 specifically for the purpose of publishing the first edition of this title. The Nolo principle is that not all legal transactions require retention of a lawyer, and in the state of California, for an uncontested divorce between two parties, tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees can be saved with the purchase of this $30 title (which is regularly 30% off from Amazon).
   
   This book is a step-by-step guide to the divorce process and each of the forms necessary for filing for divorce in California. The text explains the hows and whys of the filing process and warns of potential pitfalls that can cause filings to be rejected or invalidated in the future.
   
   My husband and I separated after a two year marriage and worked amicably through the process with the aid of this book. We knew that we would save a bundle of money by avoiding hiring lawyers to do discovery on our behalf, and we wanted to split up our property and move on as painlessly as possible. We each purchased a copy of this book and used it to file all the forms in our county courthouse. There is a helpline for telephone consultations at a reasonable rate, and we spent a few hundred dollars to get advice on the Separation Agreement we had drafted together (detailing financial and personal property separation as well as our agreement on our joint mortgage). We got big bang for our buck by having a helpline lawyer personally go over our Separation Agreement and we were confident with filing all the paperwork ourselves.
   
   This book is intended for unconstested, fairly amicable divorces. If one party is out to "get" the other, the services of a lawyer may be required. Nolo recommends mediation before litigation if at all possible, to save money and effort. The authors remind the reader that lawyers do not have the consumer's best interest at heart--their first priority is to protect themselves from malpractice lawsuits, and so they will be as thorough (and costly) as possible to meet that need.
   
   If you are considering leaving your spouse and do not anticipate an amicable divorce, I would recommend purchasing Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce instead of this book. That has all of the overview information of this title, with additional specifics on mediation and litigation that will help your case if it is going to be in those arenas instead of the do-it-yourself category.



2. This book is very informative and complete, while being simple enough for the average person. Everything you need to complete your divorce without hiring a lawyer and going to court, including all the forms required by law. The book is republished every year to keep up with changing laws. The publishing group provides help from lawyers via telephone for working out the fine details of your particular situation. A person can save a tremendous amount of money, time, and stress by going this route. I highly recommend it.

5 comments about Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible.

1. You already respect Jay Adams. This little book should be a brief but required course of study for any Bible-believing church leader or pastor. Too much damage is being caused in Christ's church by well-meaning but misinformed leaders. Read, study and even repent where necessary. Go after those branded second-class Christians who have been turned off and shelved. Reflect the Glory of a just and merciful Savior.



2. In this book Jay Adams addresses a topic that could not be more practical in the Church. Marriage, divorce, and remarriage are topics that have been debated and quarreled over since the inception of the Church, but especially so in the last 50 years with Feminism becoming what it has and postmodernity influencing the moral framework by which people examine what is right and true.
   
   Dr. Adams does a faithful job of presenting a Biblical perspective on these issues; mind that Biblical does not always line up with what is stereotypical of Christianity in some conservative circles, it means the view is drawn directly from scripture as best as Adams knows how with the presupposition that it is scripture itself which contains the truth by which we are to live and pursue godliness.
   
   Essentially it is Biblical, but it might be surprising for some. It surprised me, but upon examining the text, it true to a biblical worldview.



3. I have read Jay Adams book and will make a full review later (I want to read John Murray's book first), but came across a review that I agree with. I will have more to critique than this reviewer does, but it is a good start.
   
   Book Title: Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage In the Bible
   Book Author: Dr. Jay E. Adams
   Our Rating: Poor
   Book Theme
   
   Taking a concept-by-concept approach, Dr. Adams examines the fundamentals of marriage, then divorce, and ultimately, remarriage. Relying heavily on the Scriptures, Dr. Adams avoids using traditions as a basis for establishing the doctrines of matrimony and marriage dissolution.
   
   Analysis of the Book
   Reading this book and writing this review was a personal disappointment. Dr. Adams is one of my personal spiritual role models whom I hold in the highest regard. Sadly, this book fails to achieve a proper understanding of the nature of divorce and remarriage based upon a faulty interpretation of Scripture.
   
   Dr. Adams does a genuinely thorough biblical evaluation of the question, "what is a marriage?" The principles of marriage as outlined by God in His Word are well documented. Additionally, the concept of engaged men and women in both the Old and New Testament being called "husbands" and "wives" is convincingly extracted and described from the Bible by Dr. Adams.
   Even the bulk of Dr. Adams' treatment of the subject of divorce is keenly derived from the Scriptures. God certainly hates divorce and has established considerable warnings to men from initiating such proceedings. While controversial, this reviewer found that much of the chapter dealing with the "exception clauses" was consistently and properly handled.
   
   With so much of the book being biblically acceptable, why is such a harsh disapproval applied to this book by the reviewer? Primarily because of a simple misinterpretation of one passage: 1Corinthians 7:25-28. Dr. Adams commits a fundamental exegetical fallacy (to borrow a term from D.A. Carson) by taking verses 27 and 28 out of context, interpreting them as stand alone verses, and then issuing sweeping doctrinal statements that contradict uncounted passages of scripture that state the opposite.
   
   Simply stated, 1Corinthians 7:25-28 refers to virgins who are engaged to be married. Engaged virgins are properly referred to as "husbands and wives" in the New and Old Testaments. Verses 25-28 state that virgins may end their engagements and remain single, may marry each other as planned, or may end their engagements and marry other people--and all without sinning or without their actions being labeled "adultery".
   If one were to remove verses 27 and 28 from their context of verses 25-28 and then interpret them, one might be tempted to believe that this was a blanket permission for all married people to get a divorce, then remarry other people, and be free of having committed any sins, including adultery. Such an outcome would directly contradict many Bible passages, but none so blatantly as Jesus' own words, "whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32b).
   
   Having made a doctrinal left turn, the good work done earlier in the book is systematically dismantled by the author. Since the out-of-context interpretation of 1Corinthians 7:27,28 seemingly permits everyone who gets a divorce for any reason at all to be remarried without it being called a sin: all people can be divorced (without sin), all divorced people can be remarried to others (without sin), divorce loses all stigma, and Jesus was mistaken to teach that one who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. The outcome then, is that a divorce ends a marriage, all obligations of the marriage, and the person can claim to be free to remarry whomever they wish just as if they were a virgin.
   
   Scripturally this is not appropriate. Jesus' words still stand, divorced people who remarry others are committing adultery, and it is engaged virgins who may break their commitments to marry without it being considered a sin. Proper biblical interpretation is critical to the development of sound doctrine, and regrettably this book does not meet that standard.
   As a result of this error, the book becomes all but incomprehensible, lost in a maze of discussion about legitimate divorces and illegitimate divorces, all divorces ending a marriage thereby releasing all parties from all obligations of marriage-but maybe not all, reconciliation being preferred albeit optional as is remarriage, and so on. It becomes nearly impossible to determine who would ever be guilty of committing adultery by the act of remarriage, if in fact, anyone would be using this text. Such a conclusion to this study makes a complex subject even more difficult.
   Conclusion
   
   In spite of his track record of writing truly outstanding biblical treatises, this book is not up to the typical quality of Dr. Adams' other works. Though much of the book is indeed well developed from the Scriptures, a poor interpretation of one key passage causes Dr. Adams to draw numerous incorrect conclusions about the permanence of marriage and the permissibility of divorced persons to be remarried without incurring a label of adultery.
   As a definitive work on divorce and remarriage, this book is best left on the shelf. If one were to read only for the sections on marriage there would be some benefit. Using this book as a basis for marital counseling would not be wise.



4. Finally somebody has dealt with this issue on exegetical grounds rather than on emotional grounds. There has been done so much harm to the church by a totally wrong understanding of what marriage is. This wrong view of marriage leads to a false understanding of divorce and remarriage. How much pain and absurd situations, broken marriages and shunned church members has been caused by pastors (even by men like John Piper and John MacArthur), elders and church members who rush to conclusions caused by the Greaco-Roman-Hollywood understanding of marriage rather than a biblical view of marriage. Sola Scriptura - not Solo Emotio!!



5. This is the best book on divorce and remarriage from a Biblical perspective that I have ever read.
   
   It is neither to legalistic or to liberal. It gives good balance to encourage marriage for a lifetime and to give hope to those who have experienced divorce.
   
   This is a good read for pastors trying to form an opinion for themselves and also wanting to be the most helpful to the hurting.

5 comments about How Tia Lola Came to Stay.

1. There is always someone in our family that stands out. There is also someone that's an influence.



2. Tia Lola Came to Stay is a pretty good book in the terms of the morals in the story, but I didn't really like the way it was written. It seems to be a book for kids much younger than I am, because it was very jumpy. The story line would jump around a lot, and it seemed as if one moment it was the middle of the winter, and the next it was mid July. That tended to confuse me a little bit. The author also placed a lot of Spanish words in the text, without any clues as to what they are. That got confusing also.
   The story's morals are okay though. The children learn that change happens. If you don't stay negative about change and look at the bright side of things, things may turn out okay. The kids find that they would be devastated if Tia Lola went home to the Dominican Republic, rather than wishing that she would. So, the moral is one of the highlights of the book.
   There were definitely aspects of this story that I could have done without, such as the explanations after every set of dialogue, but I did enjoy the meaning of the book and the plot. I didn't care for the sudden Spanish words springing up all over the page, but I would still probably give this book about 3 stars.



3. How Tia Lola Came To Stay is a decent book. Not good not bad just decent. I liked the spanish in other words... It is about a family that just moved from New York to vermount and the parents just got divorced the mom and kids go to vermount while the dad stays in New York. Their aunt vistits vermount from the Dominacan Republic and she knows litel english that is all i am going to tell you for the rest buy the book!



4. I liked the YANKEES game and the big party. I thought that the spanish helped my spanish. Parts of the book got boring but it was ok. I thought Miguel was a good tuff odd characher. I thought Junita acted like a baby. Tia Lola was a very good story characher. The book was very good.



5. I thought that this book was so bad it was annoying. It was hard to read because of all the Spanish words and sentences. I didn't want to continue the
   book because I got lost in the language. I had to continue because it was a school project. I reccommend not to but this book because you're wasting money. How Tia Lola Came to (Visit) Stay

5 comments about Little Children: A Novel.

1. Oh the woes of being a stay-at-home mom -- or dad! You're devoted to your offspring; you want to provide a loving, stimulating, safe childhood. But it can be so boring! That's the dilemma of the characters of this classic of suburban angst.
   There are other, less savory threats lurking among the manicured lawns -- child molesters, homophobes, violent vigilantes. The sub-plot revolving around these types is the least successful part of this book. The sexual weirdness of another character also detracts from the whole.
   The center of the book is a familiar saga of adultery, in this case very well done. One feels the yearning of these poor stay-at-homes for love, attention, and self-esteem in a society which does not esteem them or their sacrifice.
   Perotta has a rare gift of raising serious issues of our society in an entertaining way. Bravo for this!
   For more about me and my book, The Nazi Hunter: A Novel go to [...].



2. Those women you see in the park, the ones with the bleached-white tennis shoes and daughters who have ponytails so tight they make my head hurt, ARE having thoughts you'd never imagine! Who wouldn't want to make out with the hot dad pushing his kid on the swing?!
   I suppose the thing that makes us adults and not children is our ability to see beyond our urges and recognize the consequences our actions can have. This is the story of people who try to break out of the life they've ended up with, people who give in to their most profound desires. To witness the unraveling of each character's life is both horrifying and hilarious. It will make you sad, but you'll be smiling the whole way.



3. The title itself brings so many different layers to a lush suburban landscape that is brushed with all the right levels of satire, sincerity, humor, and melodrama. While the subject itself isn't anything profound, it is the storytelling technique and the usage of the backstory to explain the characters' present motives that pulls the novel out of the depths of obscurity. Perrotta is skillful at getting into the minds of desperate people in desperate marriages, giving honesty to a genre that could have been filled with caricatures. Some of the comments the author makes about the circumstances of the book are breathtakingly dead-on. The story lags in the latter half of the second part, but by the time you get to the third part, Perrotta has found his niche and the reader is left with overwhelming and indescribable emotions. In a stroke of genius, parallelism from Part One is brought to the final act, bringing the narrative to a full circle - and close. Who are the little children? This ultimate question is up for debate, and is part of the true magic that Perrotta brings to the literary scene.



4. Tom Perrotta is a master of realism. A few of the blurbs on the inside cover refer to Little Children as "satirical," but I haven't ever read anything that better describes the normal lives of normal people while keeping entertainment a part of the process (See Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius for realism that seems to be almost wielded against the reader).
   
   Perrotta has been cranking out successful, easy to read novels for 10 years. He broke onto the nationwide best seller list with Election which was later turned into an Oscar nominated movie. After the moderately successful Joe College, Little Children has received even more sales and accolades than Election.
   
   Little Children begins with Sarah, mother of two year-old Lucy, struggling to fit into the role of stay at home mom. This transformation from college intellectual to unexpected mother is only made more difficult by the marriage that she's trapped in with Richard. Richard's biggest problem with the marriage is that he's in love with a porn star he has never met named "Slutty Kay."
   
   While watching her daughter play at the park, Sarah meets Todd, a handsome, married, law school graduate that has failed the bar exam twice. He's a hundred thousand dollars worth of indecision. He tells his wife almost every night that he is going to the library to study for the bar. Instead, he goes to a skate park and watches teenagers skateboard. An amalgamation of dissatisfaction and idleness draws the two into a passionate affair while the rest of the town obsesses about a newly released child sex offender who many suspect to have gotten away with murdering a little girl.
   
   The novel revolves around Sarah and Todd trying to understand what their new romance means. Is it just a fling? Should they leave their significant other? Should their children's likely future unhappiness factor into a decision that could possibly make their own lives less miserable?
   
   There wasn't a single likeable character in Little Children. The reason for this is that Perrotta did his job extremely effectively. I personally think that barely anybody would like anyone if we knew all of the selfish, devious things that constantly run through each others minds, especially the minds of middle-aged, middle class people who are under whelmed with how their life turned out. Instead, compassion is conjured in all of the places Perrotta designed it to and likewise derision where he intended it to appear. This novel expertly shows why the inability to know every thought in someone's head is what allows us to manage having relationships.
   
   I feel a similar dislike for characters in Chuck Pahlaniuk books, but he doesn't ever manage to stir up any compassion for his characters. Obviously, Little Children is at a different level than Pahlaniuk's books because Chuck ratchets up the disgusting character flaws quite a bit, but I think that's the point. Perrotta mixes selfishness with the longing for human understanding in his characters in realistic harmony.
   
   When I was little, I remember seeing families breaking apart. When I heard about affairs that people were having I would think, "Why are these people doing this? Can't they see how much pain they're causing?" If you've ever wondered something similar and came away without a full-fleshed answer, read this book.



5. Reading "Little Children", I couldn't help but think of John D. MacDonald, who would've written this kind of story in a couple of weeks--and done a much better job.
   
   I wish I could've enjoyed this novel more, but the characters (or caricatures) just aren't very interesting, and there is no real protagonist.
   
   Instead, we get a routine tale of love and adultery in the suburbs, with a paroled child molester thrown into the mix. Too bad he wasn't a mad bomber; he might've blown up the whole group on page 9 and saved the readers a lot of wasted time.

5 comments about Split: A Memoir of Divorce.

1. As a divorced parent myself, I was struck by the subtitle of this book ("A Memoir of Divorce"). Even though (or perhaps just because) the book is written from a woman's perspective, I decided to pick this up.
   
   In "Split: A Memoir of Divorce" (255 pages), author Suzanne Finnamore gives us her perspectives on how her husband (who is named "N" in the book) leaves her and their small son (named "A" in the book), and leaves her blindsided. The book is divided in 5 parts that are supposed to reflect the grieving-and-healing process (Denial/Anger/Bargaining/Grief/Acceptance). I was surprised how long the author seemingly clung to the notion that somehow she'd gain N back, even though it is clear it will not happen. But when the realization comes, grief sets in. Writes Finnamore: "Much like trains in India, grief is a circular, irrational process with no discernible rhythm or timetable. Here it comes, there is goes." Towards the end of the 'bargaining" phase, when all that is left to do is to figure out go gets what, and other legalities are taken care of, Finnamore is better adjusted. She observes dryly: "'How could you ever forgive me?' N asks, plaintive. I have no answer. Pass. Then I don't hear from him for a week."
   
   I enjoyed Finnamore's writing style. She has a sharp pen, and clear observations. Yet I had trouble connecting emotionally with the book, and with the story. Maybe it is because this is written from a female perspective. I realize that every divorce is unique in a sense, and the divorce described in "Split" certainly very different from what I went through. "Split" is not a bad book, but neither is it the memorable, once-in-a-lifetime read on what it's like going through a divorce.



2. I loved this book. I am in the middle of a VERY similar situation in my own life, so this came at the perfect time. I felt validated in my feelings while I read. I want to thank the author personally for the friend she became as I read along. I will keep this book forever to show that we can all recover from a hard situation, regardless of what is thrown at us. And... so will our children. I say... buy this book, you will love it.



3. I left my husband 25 years ago this month, at his request. The child we shared was biologically only his, so I felt he needed to keep the house - and the law figured he needed to keep our daughter. This book - oh, my, it nails it! Every emotion, all the way! I, too, have been blessed - the child was 11 at the time, and my ex allowed me to have joint custody. Today we share a pleasant friendship, chatting occasionally by phone and enjoying family events together. But all those other chapters - I remember them well, and Finnamore couldn't have described them better!
   
   Which, by the way, is another beauty of this book - her great writing style!
   
   If you've been there, if you're there now...if you want to understand what someone you care about is going through - Split is perfect!



4. I have read every book on this subject (divorce). Although it came out a bit late in the day (decade) for me - or rather for my own divorce - it still provided still needed succor. Funny and beautifully written and studded with sentences you will want to write down. Highly recommended.



5. In any break-up, especially one precipitted by deception, one would excuse any level of bitterness. Yet, Finnamore manages the difficult balance of anger, humor, hurt and bewilderment. She gives hope to those in the same unfortunate situation.
   
   Plus, I loved imagining the second wife's realization that she snagged a man who will never seemingly stop cheating.

5 comments about Leaving Him Behind: Cutting the Cord and Breaking Free After the Marriage Ends.

1. I thought I had a life sentence with my X. He was and still is an attorney. He could manipulate me to death before during and after my marriage was over. A friend gave me "Leaving Him Behind." At last, someone knew how to finally end my marriage--years after my divorce!



2. I interviewed the author recently, and was very impressed with her insight and understanding. If marriage can be a swamp, divorce is always a minefield, and Sandra Kahn ably maps out the danger points.



3. My parents divorced 2 years ago after being married for 30 years. After 2 whole years, my mom was still stagnant, as hurt and as mad as the day she filed for divorce. I've sent her numerous books, groups and web sites and she never got trough any of them. She's really not a reader so I thought she would not read it at all. The day I sent this book to her, she began reading it right there, cover to cover. She said it is the most relavant book she has read that she can actually relate to. That it help put a lot of what she was going through into focus. glad something my mom finally finds useful to help in healing and growing after life with my dad.



4. I needed this book. I will probably refer to it often. There is no life after divorce if you don't move on. This book contained many eye-openers for me. Hopefully after reading this I won't sabotage my own happiness by staying attached to a man who is unable to make a committment to anyone other than himself. I've probably read at least ten books on survival and recovery from divorce. This one is helping me let my 32-year marriage die.



5. I would recommend this book above all others for women who have gone through a divorce and need help moving on. This book is practical and will help you on your journey to start a new life and get beyond the past.

5 comments about Difficult Questions Kids Ask and Are Afraid to Ask About Divorce.

1. A wonderful Guide for any parent faced with their Childrens questions, at any age, at the time of a divorce. When you bearlty know the anwers to some of your own questions concerning the divorce,"Difficult Questions Kids Ask About Divorce" is a must have for you.

   It answer questions the cover a wide range of subject and ages. I f you are going through a divorce or concerning one due yourself and your children a favor and get this book.




2. I spotted this book in the library and picked it up. As I began to read, I felt as if the authors knew my own 8-year-old daughter. I was very impressed. So many of the topics covered hit very close to home. It was very reassuring to read.



3. Kids are the ones that hurt the most in a divorce. They don't have the coping skills to deal with the trauma some of these cherubs experience. They can't comprehend the various facets of divorce. Therefore, this book will help parents and grandparents explain about divorce and resolve those difficult feelings or questions the children may have.



4. This book is great. I didn't realize what exactly was going on in my situation, so I didn't start reading these books until my husband was out of the house, living with his girlfriend. It would be a great book to read prior to anyone moving out, but also good for my situation. Very helpful.



5. I am a clinical psychologist, and have recommended this book over and over again. Its the one guide I have seen that covers how to answer questions in developmentally appropriate ways for all ages of children. The author understands how kids of different ages think and what they are likely to be feeling most intensely. What a wonderful guide, and well written!