5 comments about It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki).

1. Koko has become my daughter's favorite book. The book answers the questions that she has, validates her feelings and focuses on the issues that she is concerned about-pick up and drop off, dinner, bedtime. It is well written and perfect for 5-7 year old children. I was recommended Dinosaur Divorce by several people (without children)-my daughter is not ready for learning about stepparents or money issues. Koko bear is just what we were looking for.



2. very good book for a older child i would not recommend for a young child



3. This book has been wonderful for discussing divorce in a nurturing way with a 5 year old. It is a favorite at bedtime, and is well written for young children. I highly recommend it for anyone who needs to answer childrens' questions about divorce.



4. This book was helpful for my 5 & 7 year olds during divorce, but it contained things they will not experience, so that started more insecurity issues. Still had good ways to handle tough situations.



5. I read the book to my two children and they simply looked at me and said ..."bears don't get divorced!" I think it is unrealistic and they're aren't any coping tools to resolve issues the PARENTS often create for the children after divorce or separation. It is cute but they seemed to have a hard time identifying with bears getting divorced.

5 comments about C. S. Lewis Signature Classics: Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, A Grief Observed, The Problem of Pain, Miracles, and The Great Divorce (Boxed Set).

1. What can i say, CS Lewis truly thinks on a different plane, the first of the post modern Christians and truly biblical thinking. His many books takes you on many journeys. However books are intense with the use of the english language. Screwtape letters and Mere Christianity are two greats and the Four loves the hardest to read. However definitely a worthwhile collection to have.



2. I love that many of my favorite books by Lewis are availible in a convenient package. While I would have liked to have The Four Loves in here as well, I think this is a great collection that I am happy to own.



3. For the last week I have been like a little child waiting for a birthday present to come in the mail. I have joyfully anticipated receiving this boxed set of C.S. Lewis treasures. At last, it came today. What a disappointment! If the covers of these books last through more than one reading, I will be surprised. The covers are beautiful, but the quality is poor, and certainly not worth the $47.90 I paid for this set. I was looking forward to something that would last for years to come. Oh well, I won't be sending the set back, because I'm anxious to read these incredible works (the first books I will have read in several years). If this review was about C.S. Lewis, it would be five stars. But, this review is about the shoddy quality of this set, and hence the single star review. Buyer beware.



4. This box contains some of the best known theological works by C.S. Lewis. Six paperback books in a case. It is a shame that it doesn't include Surprised by Joy in which Lewis tells about his spiritual journey. It would have been a valuable addition to this pack. But other than that, great set. Read them to strength your faith or to learn something about Christianity.



5. This is a great deal and the books I received were in pristine condition. A great collection of books for anyone interested in participating in a higher education discussion of modern day Christianity and theology.

5 comments about Charlie Anderson.

1. Having to trudge back and forth between parents into different worlds can be very upsetting to a child of a divorce. The transition is emotionally charged and sometimes bringing the child to depression - especially if the child cannot identify their life with any other children. The mix of personalities and a happy life that Charlie Anderson leads transitioning between two families is something any young child can identify with and derive comfort from. I know my child did.



2. Although the story should be a great read for children having difficulties with split families. The page where Elizabeth ask "Who do you love the best," could plant in a childs mind that one must make a choice as to which parent do you love the best, or even cause the child to wonder if he/she is loved the "best". The book would have been excellent had it not been for this one page. I suggest it be re-written.



3. This book was recommended to me by a teacher friend. I like this story to teach predictions while teaching comprehension strategies.



4. I thought this book was about cats and friendship with cats, until I read further and realized this book had an underlying message. The message is that Charlie is a lucky cat just like Elizabeth and Sarah. Elizabeth and Sarah are children of divorced parents and have to spend half of their time with each divorced parent. I understand that this is a fact for many children and they must make the best of it, but I wouldn't exactly say they were "lucky"! I quickly made up my own words when I was reading this story to my own child , so that she wouldn't be subject to the underlying theme of the book. How sad, that the author feels that she must tell children they are lucky if their parents get divorced. Children of divorce know it's not true and this book is very patronizing in my mind. Skip it.



5. Charlie Anderson is a wonderful book that should be in every elementary school library and in the home of every child who has parents who don't live together. Charlie Anderson is a cat, who like the little girls in the story has two homes, two beds, and two families who love him.

No comments about What I Did for Love: A Novel.

5 comments about Perfect You.

1. Elizabeth Scott's second novel is just as poignant and addictive to read as her well-reviewed debut, BLOOM --- perhaps even more so. In the year since BLOOM's publication, Scott has clearly honed her skills, crafting a tighter story that fluently captures the anxieties of talking to (let alone trusting) a first crush, the self-deprecation and anguish of losing a best friend, and the bemusement that comes with having to parent...your parents.
   
   But what does all of this have to do with vitamins?
   
   It all started when Kate's father quit his job at a prestigious software company because his desk had broken in half. He figured it was a sign. Not even a month later, he cashed in his retirement fund to purchase boxes full of infomercial vitamins called "Perfect You." His plan? To buy a booth at the mall and sell them to anyone who would take the bait --- with Kate's help, of course.
   
   So instead of going to parties with her friends and cheering for her boyfriend on the basketball team, Kate is stuck trying to hide her mortification when her father wears his B-Buzz vitamin bee costume during her shift, or worse yet, when he gets thrown out of the Sports Shack for pushing vitamins on their customers. But wait. Kate doesn't have a boyfriend. Nor does she have any friends aside from the three Jennifers who are so busy competing to be each other's best friend that they barely notice her.
   
   Granted, Kate's life hadn't always been so terrible. Prior to her sophomore year, she spent every waking second with her best friend, Anna, who never seemed to care what anyone else thought --- at least not until hunky Sam, the boy Anna had been in love with for forever, called her a "wide load."
   
   After that, everything changed. Anna came back from her summer in Maine, determined to be a different person. She was blonde, 70 pounds thinner and suddenly popular, which, of course, meant No More Kate. So for the first few months of 10th grade, Kate spends every day alone --- that is, until Sam's cute friend, Will, kisses her behind the dumpsters at the mall.
   
   In the chapters that follow, Kate bumbles through a series of crushing setbacks (Anna delivers one too many blows to her dwindling self-worth, her parents separate due to her father's seemingly endless mid-life crisis, Will asks her out on a date --- to humiliate her?) before ultimately crumbling in defeat.
   
   But, as those who liked Scott's first novel are aware, Kate's story is far from over despite the trauma she has endured, and readers will breeze through the last few chapters with genuine pleasure.
   
   PERFECT YOU has just the right combination of humor, charm and weight to satisfy old fans and win over new ones. Its rich characters --- especially haughty but wise Grandma --- are brimming with quirky idiosyncrasies meant to both irritate and please. Like in BLOOM, Scott navigates familial dysfunction and teen melodrama with aplomb, and teens will eat up what develops when Kate and Will finally "get real" at the end.
   
   --- Reviewed by Alexis Burling



2. I absolutely fell in love with this book. It was so cute and heart felt and funny.
   
   Okay, the narrator of this story, Kate Brown has been having a sucky year. Her best friend got a new look and dumped her for new friends, popularity, and a hot boyfriend. Her brother is moving back in, and then her dad quits his job to sell Perfect You vitamins and her sassy tongued grandmother comes to live with them indefinitely. And to top it all off, Will Miller, the "King of hook-ups", takes an interest in her and starts to talk to her. Kate acts like she hates the guy but she actually has a crush on him, but is too stubborn to admit it.
   
   Then later in the book, her parents' relationship is strained, her ex-best friend is talking to her again, but is she really trying to be friends again? AND then Will asks her out, and she doesn't know what to believe anymore.
   
   Anyways, this book was about how changes can be a good experience for you and that it won't necessarily ruin your life.



3. This book was okay for me. It was entertaining, but I became a little frustrated with Kate's low self-esteem, her dad's childish behavior and her mother's acceptance of it, risking her family's security.
   
   Surprising to me, one of my favorite character's was will, Kate's love interest. I really liked his personality, better than Kate's.
   
   Overall this book was okay. I didn't mind reading it and it did keep my interest. It was fast reading, though the issues, not so lighthearted.
   
   Another surprise, the grandma, who's made out to be sort of monstrous, was indeed not a great person, but she was right on the money with her thoughts about her daughter's choices and the loser husband she picked and stayed with.



4. In Perfect You, I found the plot to be very unrealistic and for the most part not very relatable. Through out the book, it annoyed me how Kate always thought the worst scenario possible, needless to say she had very low self esteem and confidence. Seeing how she lost her best friend who is now popular and acts like she doesn't know her I might be able to see why she does. Kate's dad was also was a bit annoying, his thinking and inconsideration to his family was ridiculous. Towards the ending of the book though it picked up and was better than the first half. Kate began to realize things could be possible with a positive attitude and outlook. I think the theme of this was to believe in yourself and to not let life's obstacles keep you down.



5. Reminded me so much of my own life and very relatable. I recommend it to all highschool girls!

5 comments about Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life.

1. This is a book that adopts elements of spiritual transformation that are proven successful. It misses the mark completely by implying that divorce "happens" rather than being the result of the shortcomings of one, or both, partners, and forgoes an investigation of what these shortcomings could be, and how to heal them. Yet, it is right in expressing the force that a traumatic event like divorce can have on an individual, normally the one being "dumped", to promote personal transformation. If the divorce is the result of a consensual split, the couple will likely learn little. Likewise, the "dumper's" learning from the experience tends to be precious little too, so much so that statistically the same errors are then replayed in other relationships.
   Outside of chemical abuse, physical abuse, severe mental illness, marriages are as a rule repairable, through the commitment to be compassionate, understanding, forgiving and appreciative of the other. It is the childish self-centeredness of many of us that destroys marriages, the unwillingness to be loyal and forgiving, and the lack of desire to give to the partner what one desires to receive. We are all keen to demand what we want, but stingy in behaving the way we would want our partner to behave with us.
   This book is in many ways naive. A useless exercise that skips the meat of relationships, including the need to identify what led us to select the partner we married, and how this points to what needs to be healed in ourselves.
   I do NOT recommend this book. Focus instead on "Real Love in Marriage" by Dr. Baer, and "Is it love, or is it addiction" by Brenda Schaeffer, to understand the how and why relationships break down, and, most importantly the lessons to be learned. Being in sintony with one's values, that is DOING (acting) in such a way that life follows the course of you deepest values is a most difficult exercise, that however, will bring true freedom. Most cases of divorce hinge on one , or both, partners succumbing to the shadow (in a Jung-ian sense), and being at its mercy, rather than refocusing and acting in harmony with what your deepest beliefs are, as well as exposing and understanding our dark side.



2. wow! the information and suggestions in this book really have helped me to mature and reach beyond myself. ford writes in an excellent style that inspires you to greater things. i was very impressed with this work. for many guys, her approach and vocabulary might be seen as a pie-in-the-sky approach. while probably true, if you can look beyond that to the message that she offers, it is well worth it. this book is very affordably priced and is worth the purchase, new or used.



3. This book is amazing. It allows you to heal and work through a lot of the issues you have surrounding your divorce. Even if you aren't getting divorced I would recommend this book because it's inspirational and exceptional. I'm now on my third Debbie Ford book and I love her style and ease of writing. She's fun to read and always get's me going ready for a new day!



4. Personally, I did not find this book helpful or uplifitng - the content is too "fluffy" during a time when difficult decisons are being made. Might be a better read down the line after the divorce is final and you are moving on. Maybe it's the book for you if you are a big Debbie Ford fan. Books can be trial and error - this was an error for me.



5. I love to read, and I read very well, but this book is difficult to follow. It is wordy, contains one analogy after another and quotes from various people, all of which confuse the point the author was trying to make. I started reading it thoroughly, then began skimming, then reading the first sentence or two of paragraphs that weren't describing the author's divorce, then I finally quit, and threw it away. I hate to throw away a book, but this one is blather.

5 comments about Unlawful Flight: A parental kidnapping.

1. this book was a can not put down book. My husband being best friends with Glenn growing up took a little longer to read it because he kept having memories flood back. But me not knowing any of the story I could not put it down you just kept wanting to go on to see what was going to happen next. I cried, was angry at times but it was definitely a attention grabber. Can't wait to see the movie. Lots of love to Glen



2. What an amazing story of true courage, inner-strength, love and devotion that one man had for his two small children. Glen Schulz proves that having love and faith in God, can help one get through the most trying circumstances and many of life's seemingly impossible voyages. This story also proves that we attract like-minded people to us, that can and will assist us with our journey down life's path. When we truly have a loving spirit within us, God's guiding light will lead the way to victory!



3. This book was incredible. I was on pins and needles the whole time and couldn't put it down. It was a great story and very easy to read. I highly recommend it.



4. It is a father's responsibility to support and protect his children. It is the most human thing any man does. It chills my soul to hear about dads who are in no way a part of their children's lives; but it warmed my heart to read through the pages of this book and learn of a man who was willing to sacrifice everything for the love of his son and daughter.
   
   The story was recommended to me by my brother Kevin and his wife Chris. Kevin was mentioned many times in the story. I never knew he and Chris were ever involved in helping to protect this family. I am proud that they, along with the many others mentioned in the story did what their heart told them was the right thing to do.



5. This was nothing less than an emotionally moving, take-my-breath-away, heart-gripping read. Parts of the book were very difficult for me to get through because I could feel the pain and fear behind what Glen and his children experienced. Yet, what I felt more deeply than the pain and fear was the unwavering love and commitment that compelled Glen to do whatever was necessary to protect his children. What an amazing journey this life has brought the Schulz family. And how wonderful that Glen was courageous enough not only to save his kids, but to relay this rollercoaster ride to the world through this book.

5 comments about Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours.

1. I listened to this book on audio over 10 years ago, and again recently. As I have matured and 'done my work', I can increasingly see the value and authenticity of this book and Kingma's other works. This book is only about the Ending of relationships, and how we can accept and even profit from the experience. Granted, there is much that is left out (e.g., avenues of reconciliation, effects on children, etc.) but what is covered is the best I have ever found. Some remarks on the more critical reviews:
   - I'm not a psychologist but I disagree that Kingma is proposing a 'neo-Freudian perspective.' I would rather suggest Alice Miller and Murray Bowen (creater of Bowen Family Systems) as much more modern, informed and fitting psychological views embraced by Kingma. Most of the stuff we bring to our relationships IS from our parents and family experience including, as Kingma suggests, the incomplete or recreated experiences from other intimate relationships. We either finally get IT right; or we keep doing IT over and over again.
   - I agree not everything in this book is useful to everyone. But that is true of all books.
   - Finally, some reviews miss the incredible pay-off of Kingma's approach: There is a reason for the end of every relationship, and that reason need not, should not, be construed as a personal failure. We learn from each and every relationship. If we can break free from the 'happy-ever-after' model we have inherited from our culture, we can actually see the beautiful progression of our lives as we struggle to be whole, free and open to both giving and receiving love. This allows us gratitude for each and every person we have loved. Much better than viewing all of us as failures.
   
   If you are called to this topic my advice is to start with Kingma's book and then, only then, see what else can be found on this subject.



2. I disagree with the reviewer who wrote: "The theme is rather unnerving in that one might conclude that it is inevitable that most marriages/relationships will fail." This statement is clearly skewed from a diminished ability to read deeper into the meaning of some of the statements surrounding the claim.
   
   This book is exceptional. It does not contain a bunch of psychological-jargon. Rather, it is a book that made me look at myself. Stephen Coven once asked, "Why does it always take some catastrophic life event to make us look at ourselves?" (paraphrased). This book focuses on relationships, and how the breaking up of a relationship forces us to look at ourselves if we are to heal and grow from the experience. The author never implies that relationships WILL fail. Rather, her writing is realistic, though some of us would prefer to believe that failed marriages and broken relationships are not "reality". Marriages fail in the church all of the time. Her truths align with Biblical truths, though there are no religious slants.
   
   Daphne inspires us to look at who we are and the influences and experiences that have made us who we are. She provides so many examples of different types of relationship problems and successes that you will certainly draw meaning specific to your situation.
   
   Her work is true to the heart and cuts right to it. It makes you face the truth of who you are and what it is that you need and expect from a relationship. It helps you to turn extremely painful break-up experiences into some kind of good; it forces us to extract the part of the relationship that might make us a better person. It is certainly a giant step in helping us to deal with the emotional pain.
   
   Thank you, Daphne, for your insights and truths.



3. When I initially started reading this book I though it was a waste of time. However, the book is fantastic. I got much insight into relationships and dealing with the ending of mine. The pain I was experiencing disapeared and I am able to move on without resentments. In fact, I have the ability to experience love.



4. As another reviewer stated, "The theme is rather unnerving in that one might conclude that it is inevitable that most marriages/relationships will fail." Yes, that is what Ms. Kingma believes and slowly convinces you into believing it too, if you are "one the fence" about leaving a relationship. She ENCOURAGES divorce and breaking up, and validates your decision to do so, as the title implies. (jmho).
   
   If you are working on your relationship or marriage, this is NOT the book for you. This book will take whatever is left of it and guide you in how to end it - literally. See pgs. 76 & 77 as an example.
   
   We know much more about the psychodynamics of marriage and relationships since this book was published, though it was only eight years ago. Family of Origin issues that go uncovered or denied are often at the root of relationship and marital issues, issues that if uncovered, healed and understood, could save a viable relationship or marriage.
   
   NOT ALL realtionships end after an affair, end when there are differences in personality, beliefs, or opinions. Many of those differences were there when ther couple came together. It may even be what attracted them to each other... a balance in the coupling. Many unnecessarily do end marriages and relationship, due to the type of "biased" advice such as Ms. Kingma's, complete with a step-by-step recipe on how to do it and why you should.
   
   Interesting that she also authored a book titled, "True Love"! I thought she just told (convinced) us there is no such thing?
   
   This book seems to have been written for and popular with those who want out of a relationship or have already ended one. A kind of self-validation of, "I did the right thing". If validation of your decision to end your relationship is what you are looking for... you will certainly find that in 'Coming Apart'.... a "how-to" book on break-up and divorce.
   
   PS - If you don't work out your issues in the relationship you are in... you will continue to revisit the same issues in the next, and the next, relationship until you do. Running away from relationship/marital problems, does not make them "go-away". The grass in NOT always greener in the next relationship... it's usually the same old grass, just in a different yard.
   ___________________________________
   
   Other Recommendations:
   
   Grow Up! - Pittman
   How to Be An Adult in Adult Relationships - Rico
   If the Buddha Married (a series of 3 books) - Kasl



5. Definitely would recommend this book to anyone who is either going through a hard time in their relationship or has just ended a relationship and closure seems to be unattainable. You may not agree with all of the theories in this book, but it will certainly give you insight to things you previously were blinded. It gives you reasoning as to why we choose the partners we do, and why they choose you as well. The psychology of relationships can be spun into a million diffferent ways-but the root of them seem to be the same. I believe this book has come very close to the true reasoning behind our mating. This was a crutch for me and gave me some sanity when I couldn't get a grip when my 1st marriage ended.

5 comments about The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage.

1. I agree with A Customer on this one. While this book is very matter of fact, it doesn't get into the touchy feely side like other books I have read (that's a good thing), it has clear steps on what do to and how to do. The practical side of me likes that.
   
   However, I think that most of the scenarios she described were run-of-the-mill problems as the previous poster suggested. I was thinking, these people are getting divorced over this? This should be a marriage communication book, not a brink of divorce book. She did mention in the beginning about abusive relationships. Not ALL marriages should be salvaged, so she did point that out. Unfortunately, I don't believe everything else that is non-abusive should be saved. Some people out there ARE happier without the emotionally abusive, passive aggressive person and do find better.
   
   It then left me to analyze the issues I have in my own relationship and I still question whether it's worth saving. After reading the book, I didn't feel overwhelmed with a gung-ho attitude that I'm saving this shambles of a relationship come hell or high water. The issues I am seeing are more serious (not as serious as physical abuse or drug addiction). I'm still questioning it - I don't know if I want it to work. I guess I am still open to new ideas as I keep reading books rather than getting out.
   
   The step where you write down what you are seeking in a good marriage (turning complaints into attainable positive goals) did take me sometime to formulate and was beneficial However, I came up with an entirely different person - one I don't think my spouse can or wants to be.
   
   The book seems to black and white to me, but perhaps what I am searching for I won't be able to find in a book.



2. This book is well written, empathetic, specific, and action oriented. It, along with the books and CD's by Ellen Kriedman on the same subject will change your marriage relationship or any relationship for the better. Highly recommended. boland7214@aol
   
   PS: I forgot to mention that the book, "Divorce Busting" is by the same author. "Divorce Busting" was written in about 1991 and this book was written about 10 years later. Which is "the better book"? I dunno. But, one would think the later book would be an improvement over the earlier book. I can't say for certain but that's the way it would seem, correct? But, I do like the title, "Divorce Busting"! :o)



3. In a culture where getting a divorce is almost reflexive when any marital problem may occur, this book provides an alternative frame of mind. My hope is that many would read this book as a preventative measure; before their marriage is on the rocks. Although, there are many examples in this book where such marriages have been saved as well. Easy to read and practical application points.



4. I like the way Michele Davis wrote this book better than the first book I read, Divorce Busting: A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again. The Divorce Remedy is full of helpful ideas that can be useful on a day to day basis. I also like the positive pro marriage message. Now to see if I can practice what she teaches!



5. Having read just about every relationship and divorce book on the market, it is this one that I buy multiple copies of and give to all my friends, relatives and others. Why? First, many marriage-saving books are written from a religious perspective, but this one is not. It is not that she is anti-religious, just that you don't have to be religious to enjoy the book. I also like the fact that it is not that she thinks divorce immoral, just that she sees how miserable it makes even those who initiate it, in many cases. On page 14 of her other excellent book Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again, Michele Weiner-Davis writes: "MOST PROBLEMS ARE SOLVABLE. I have not arrived at this conclusion based on religious or moralistic views. From my perspective, divorce is not immoral or bad. In fact, in extreme cases, certain relationships are better off terminated for the health and well-being of everyone involved."
   
   Many books are very negative and encourage behavior guaranteed to destroy a relationship instead of helping. This book is positive, gives the reader hope, and backs that up with concrete, specific, clear suggestions for what to actually do in practice to maximize the chance of saving your marriage.
   
   I like the fact that she points out that your friends, family, and therapist may well push you to end your marriage, if only because they only hear your own side of the story. This is so true. It is a pity people nowadays make the mistake of bad-mouthing their spouse to others. John Gottman, too, has written that this is one of the things that jeopardizes marriages. (Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship)
   
   It is no good giving this book to a spouse who wants a divorce: it is not written for the person who wants a divorce but those who are prepared to make changes to save their marriage, or those who are at least willing to give their spouse another chance. If you are the spouse wanting a divorce, you might find it useful to give this book to your spouse, though you should of course make it clear that this is not intended to give your spouse hope. To the extent that your spouse adopts the author's suggestions, both you and your spouse will find life more pleasant, and it may well help your spouse to feel better whether or not it saves your marriage. (You too may be surprised if you adopt her suggestions!)
   
   For those not wanting to end your marriage, if only it could be a bit less ghastly, a bit more enjoyable, this is THE book to read. If you try the suggestions in this book and it still doesn't work, then at least you will know you did everything possible to save your marriage.
   
   Many of the suggestions are for very small changes that can have surprisingly large effects. Things you can actually do even in the midst of terrible turmoil and fear of loss of your marriage. Her suggestions will help you feel better about yourself AND better about your spouse.
   
   What is so beautiful about Weiner Davis's writing and this book in particular, is that she manages to be kind not just to the reader, but to the reader's spouse as well. For example, in Chapter 2, Weiner-Davis helps you to see that it is possible that each of you is mistakenly but very understandably blaming the other: "interactions in relationships are circular. You do something->your partner responds->you react->your partner responds, or, if it makes you feel better, you can view it the other way around. Your partner does something->you react->your partner responds->you react, and so on. Where the cycle begins is just a matter of perspective. And the good news about all of this is that when things are spiraling out of control, there is something you can do other than try to convince your partner to change. You can interrupt the cycle by changing your actions."
   
   There are so many otherwise worthwhile books that are marred either by the writer being nasty to the reader (IMO, Dr Laura's books often fall into this category) or by the writer being nasty about the reader's spouse or encouraging the victim mentality. To create a good relationship, good will is required, and it is difficult to develop good will when the relationship is on the rocks, but if any book can help you do this, it is this one by Michele Weiner Davis.
   
   Another problem with many relationship and marriage saving books is that they require both spouses to work on the marriage. We all know how unlikely that is, even in the best of marriages! This book assumes that only ONE of you wants to work on the marriage, and that there is never any question of the other person being expected to help save the marriage is very freeing and cheering, because it gives the reader hope and removes the feeling of powerlessness that is engendered when you read a book that assumes you both want to make changes together. As you yourself take action to improve your own life and treat your spouse well (but no, we are NOT talking being a doormat, here!) you start to feel less panic-stricken, more calm and peaceful, less out of control, and you can then hold your head high.
   
   This author is nothing short of a genius. Read her books. Unless you are the most negative, cynical person I can imagine, you will find her ideas very practical, very helpful, and very much worth the price of the book.
   
   All her books are worth reading. This one is absolutely brilliant.

5 comments about The Divorce Organizer & Planner.

1. My husband of 36 years asked for a divorce after informing me of a 3-week affair with a woman 4 years older who'd already had quadruple bypass surgery. Go figure! Shock doesn't come close to describing my state.
   
   However, I was not so shocked that common sense didn't kick in -- two days later I ordered several books on Divorce, including Ms. Sember's: I needed to protect what I could for MY future.
   
   The Divorce Organizer & Planner came in good stead. With tears here and there, I worked those sections that were relevant to me (I didn't need to consider child custody/support issues) and collected documents I would need to go through the divorce process. While I had a consultation with a lawyer to make sure I was collecting the info I'd need (and found out the Workbook was right on target!), I did not retain her right away -- nor did my husband seek legal advice.
   
   4 months after "the news," my husband was killed in a freak accident.
   
   Because I'd "done my homework" with the assistance of the Organizer & Planner, I had all the documents and papers necessary to handle the financial and legal affairs that accompany a death: Birth Certificates, Social Security Cards, and Drivers Licenses for BOTH of us, Marriage Certificate, Life Insurance policies, Financial accounts, Lists of assets and liabilities, etc., etc., etc. I was able to obtain benefits, complete probate, and process life insurance claims forthrightly because all the information was readily at hand.
   
   Ms. Sember's book is really a must have for everyone, those contemplating a divorce or not. I really should make it a point to write her a letter and let her know how very helpful she was at a very difficult time in my life.



2. This is for someone considering divorce and how you get your ducks in a row before hand.



3. This is a great book to help a person get their mind wrapped around the practical aspects of a divorce. In the long run it might save you money on legal fees because you will not have to have your attorney hold your hand and guide you through every process, problem or issue, you will be able to get a lot done on your own. The book forces you to think and plan about all the little frustrating details you would rather not deal with. I would recommend combining this book with other divorce books such as "Hit Him Where it Hurts" by Sherri Donovan and "The Ten Biggest Legal Mistakes Women can Make" by Marilyn Barret. "A Judge's Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench" by Roderic Duncan is extremely helpful and helps you focus on the tough stuff like child custody.



4. This book is written from the perspective of a woman. Why is it that everyone things the woman always gets screwed? When I was told , "I don't want to live with you anymore" and "I want everything you have and will have" I was looking at the end, 29 years of marriage, 9 months from retirement. Well let me tell you, I have been told the game is to squeeze the guy hard to get everything but not hard enough to make him quite. I am looking at all the debt, she is looking for all the assests and I will be paying her $40k/year maintenace until I am 76. Where is a book for a guy to screw his exwife?



5. Another well organized, practical guidebook. Should be bedside reading before you say "I Do." Also a good reminder of the importance of record-keeping even if your life is sane.