5 comments about Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who is Driving You Crazy.

1. I have made this book required reading for my divorce and mediation clients. Dr. Wittmann provides simple, direct strategies which allow struggling parents to focus on what is truly important....raising healthy, well adjusted children. Mediators and divorce attorneys would be doing thier clients a great service by recommending this book!



2. Well you may not be able to change them but...This practical, common sense guide offers communication techniques that will not only help you deal with a difficult ex-husband or ex wife, but also teaches you how to examine your own role in these sticky situations. This book offered useful advice on how to be civil when the other party is not. This book helps you communicate effectively and stay in control of yourself and your situation. If for no other reason you can learn how to minimize the conflicts between you and your ex that affect your children. This book allows you to put your children's needs first.



3. I teach a coparenting through and after divorce class so I have purchase several books on coparenting and been disappointed by the same information regurgitated by different authors. This book, while it offers the same basic skills as others, provides a unique perspective that if utilized can lead to personal peace. I imagine it can be difficult for some to read because there is a heavy focus on accepting responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions and changing your own outlook and behavior to obtain personal peace,(which in turn leads to a more peaceful relationship with your coparent.) The book also asks that you learn to view your coparent differently, as a human being who makes mistakes, but is probably doing the best they can, even providing exercises on forgiveness which could be hard to handle if you have not let go of anger. The book is easy to read, provides real life examples, and summarizes the points to remember at the end of each chapter. Overall, it is a great book I recommend to everybody who attends my classes.



4. If you are navigating the gut-wrenching terrain of shared custody with a difficult ex-spouse, this is the only book you will need. A truly life-changing and empowering read--and a welcome reminder that while we may not be able to change other people, we can always work on ourselves. Filled with beneficial exercises and practical solutions to common problems, this book IMMEDIATELY improved my attitude with regard to my ex-spouse, and while we still have a ways to go at acheiving peace, this book gave me the tools I need to be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. Highly recommended.



5. First of all, I love the title. It certainly describes my situation perfectly and Im sure many readers relate. This book is well written and contains an enormous amount of practical information that I have been able to apply in my life. After all, books are worthless unless I can apply the information I learn from them in my life. Thus, this title is well worth the time. Highly recommended and remember always to put your children as the # 1 priority in your situation.

1 comments about Hatchet: 20th Anniversary Edition.

1. I had not yet read this classic tale, but, upon the recommendation of a friend, although I am 36 and a college graduate, I bought it. This is a great story, hence the reason for 20th anniversary reissue. But, I can say, the hardcover edition with new drawings by Drew Willis and accompanying notes by the author add so much. One of my favorite things about this book is the author's notes, 20 years after its surprise success, with some truly great pencil drawings. Anyone who is looking at buying this book would do well to buy this particular edition.

5 comments about The Switching Hour: Kids of Divorce Say Good-bye Again.

1. I found The Switching Hour to be very informative concerning the different issues that children face after their parents divorce. I particularly liked the blessings for the children on page 100 and 101. We have begun using them as we see our grandchildren go with their biological father for visits. I would recommend this book to anyone needing advise in dealing with divorce.
   Rick Otey



2. Dr Flesberg has condensed many years of pastoral experience and academic research into this small, practical, accessibly written book which can be confidently placed in the hands of busy parents, pastors, and anyone else who cares about children. A skilled teacher, she guides the reader into empathetic understanding of the experience of children of divorced parents, and provides clear, wise suggestions for how to help. I have already recommended The Switching Hour to a number of friends and relatives, and will continue to do so.



3. Dr. Flesberg has produced a book which meets the needs of working professionals, parents, and parents who are working professionals! It is well written and researched. I have already begun using this in the parish. I heartily recommend this book to anyone who loves kids, loves parents, or both.
   
   The Rev. Lewis A. Groce
   Trinity Church
   Tullahoma TN



4. As a marriage and family therapist for forty years I have heard the switching hour event described over and over from the point of view of divorced or divorcing parents. Flesberg's book describes it from the child's point of view. This allowed me to feel and understand the pain of divorce from a different and more striking perspective--one that both therapists and toubled families need to know more about. Flesberg's section on what can be done to reduce the child's stress during the switching hour is particularly helpful.



5. Absolutely superb. This is on the true cutting edge of the effects of custody exchanges on children.

3 comments about When My Parents Forgot How to Be Friends (Let's Talk About It!).

1. "When My Parents Forgot How to Be Friends" is a Let's Talk about It! book about a young girl coming to terms with the divorce of her parents. Written by Jennifer Moore-Mallinois and simply but friendly illustrated by Marta Fabrega, this book was originally published in Spain as "Cuando Mis Padres se Olvidaron de Ser Amigos," but the subject matter is obviously universal and there is nothing specific to Spanish culture that gets in the way of the book's message.
   
   The title of this book for younger readers in this particular situation does constitute something of an euphemism because when parents get divorced it is not just because they have stopped being friends, but rather than they had stopped loving each other and all that entails. However, I can fully appreciate that under such circumstances you would not want to focus on how people stop loving each other, since one of the fears Moore-Malllinos deals with here is that if mommy and daddy can stop loving each other, maybe they can stop loving their children as well. At the start of this book not only are the parents friends, they are a happy family, where every Saturday is a special family night and they always do things together. But then things start to change.
   
   The key part of this book is that is shows how the young girl is on the outside of what is going on, which is why this book is important not only for young children in this situation but their parents. In this case the young girl does not know why her parents are arguing, why they are mad, why her mom is crying, and why her dad has moved out of the house. Certainly there are such situations where the kids are all too painfully aware of what is going on and why, but the younger the children the less likely that would be the case and those are the children that are the target audience for this book. Because these are the children who are more likely to think sometimes that what is happening might be their fault. Her parents tell her it is not her fault, but sometimes she wonders if maybe it is.
   
   As the note to parents in the back of the book states explicitly, this book can be used as a tool to initiate dialogue and stimulate communication between parents and children in this situation. The purpose of the book is to acknowledge the concerns and anxieties of children when their family undergoes this sort of change. It is important for children have the opportunity to explore their feelings (and their fears) as the first steps in the process of healing. The goal is for children to be the survivors of separation and divorce rather than possibly remaining victims. Moore-Mallinos grew up in a one-parent family herself, so she is able to talk about this from personal experience and work that into her story as well.



2. During a tumultuous divorce with my wife, I found this book at the library. My older 11yr. old girl really enjoyed reading the book with me. Her 11yr. old twin showed no interest in reading a "kids" book, but surprisingly, my 8yr. old boy is glued to the book. He asks me to read it about once or twice a week. Sometimes I tear up when reading it and my son holds me close. The book is basic, general, but speaks from the heart. I have been able to use the simple story line as an example of how the kids will continue to build a loving relationship with his mother, and how they will continue to build a loving relationship with me.



3. As with the "Daddy's Getting Married (Let's Talk About it Book)", the father is the one who leaves the house, while the mother is at home crying. The children become apprehensive of their "part-time" every other weekend father. I assumed because a male gave such rave reviews of this book that just maybe the book wouldn't place blame or show an every other weekend father. I was wrong. This book is like so many others out there. It is only good for those whose father no longer plays a significant role in the children's lives. Of course, if the mother leaves and/or a shared parenting plan is involved, this book is totally useless. There are actually some very good, insightful and helpful passages within the book but they are over shadowed by the theme of the part-time father. I wish I would have known this prior to wasting my money. Do not buy this book unless the father is to blame for the divorce and the children primarily live with the mother.

5 comments about Daddy's Roommate (Alyson Wonderland).

1. During my own childhood, my parents tried to instil open values in myself and my younger brother. We were regularly encouraged to read books about groups outside of our own and develop a strong sense of fairness.

   While we did not have a chance to read this book during our own childhoods, I can vouch it is an important library addition for any parent wanting their child to grow up secure enough with themselves so they do not pick on others and/or deal with personal problems.

   In his age-appropriate text (although the 'roomate' terminology is confusing after the depth of description), Willhoite demonstrates there are all kinds of good families. Both Daddy and Frank are very interested in providing a safe and stable enviroment for the youth---and enjoy an apparently supportive relationship with the mother (finding out you are the spouse of a GLBT person is not an easy position in our society) making his own growth an innately easier journey.

   Not fancy by today's computer-pumped standards, the illustrations help reinforce the true meaning of caring. It is ultimately how you treat yourself and others which should determine what happens. Thus, the book purposefully ignores the possibility of daddy and Frank being hate crime and/or discrimination victims, a scenario which may worry older children after a parent's disclosure.

   Realizing there are other families across the USA for whom the journey is nowhere near as smooth, I appreciate the candor attempting to end the cycle of hate-depression which takes a heavy toll on our youth. Like GLBT people themselves, the children of GLBT parents (a growing category!) have few 'safe' resources to utilize.

   That many school districts and libraries outside of 'GLBT mecca's' do not presently stock this title unless a battle ensues ultimately reveals more about their fear of the 'different' and unfamiliar, than any inherent flaws within this book (and simmilar titles). Isolating the children of GLBT parents and potential heterosexual alies is much more simple than recognizing and overcoming our own bigotry.




2. As a child of gay parents, I wish I had this book when I was growing up in the 70's. !!! It is perfect! Thanks soooo Much! Hopefully, we'll soon be able to embrace love and do away with our violence praising culture....



3. I'm not sure that the books message that "gay" is a different kind of love is exactly right, I think this might be more simplistic than necessary...the author might have gone a bit further in this and added that many couples are a man and woman, but that some people fall in love with people of the same gender. Additionally, while I appreciate the humor in the use of the word Roommate to mean lover, this book is aimed at very young children (up to age 5) and the use here could be confusing to them when it comes to people living as actual roommates without being lovers. It might have been more prudent to use a different word here, to avoid confusion for children down the line. I positively love the books portrayal of the couple in this story as carrying on the same daily routines as everyone else (shaving together, eating meals, sleeping, reading the paper) and enjoying a strong and loving relationship with his son, which brings home that this is just as normal a way to live and be as any other romantic configuration. Ovearall, I think Daddy's Roommate has a wonderful family friendly message and I'm quite pleased to have had the opportunity to read this to my children! I'd recommend it in a heartbeat!



4. The themes of adult selfishness, divorce, and same-sex union converge in "Daddy's Roommate." This story is particularly sad. The little narrator here has no name! This isn't surprising, since children in these books exist to affirm their parents. What is alarming is that the educators, who stand firm behind these books, and who routinely tout the self-esteem catechism in schools, overlooked the sagging sense of self exhibited by the books' tots.
   
   The nameless narrator tells us his parents have just divorced. With nary a reference to the sadness of this event, he blurts out; "Now there's somebody new at Daddy's house. Daddy and his roommate Frank live together, work together, eat together, sleep together." From here on in it's pretty much detailing the good times the dwarfed child spends with the two larger-than-life men.
   
   Mommy, like the child, is a conduit in the service of the men's outing. She tells no-name boy that Daddy and Frank are gay and that "being gay is just another kind of love." "Daddy and his roommate are very happy together," chants the child, "and I am happy too!" So long as Dad has found his true self, so will the boy arrange his feelings accordingly. It's a cruel farce that has a child spouting homilies in the service of a parent's project.
   
   What would I have considered an honest narrative?
   
   "My name is Ben. I am very sad. My mom and dad are divorcing. Frank is my dad's new friend. My mom and dad held me tight. I told them I wanted my old home back again, and I cried."



5. Apparently they (she) didn't manage to ban this book, but it seems that activists are taking out the book on loan and defacing it. Some people don't know what public libraries are for. If you don't want a copy in your god's church, that's your decision. If you don't want a copy in our public libraries.....write a letter. Or just get over it.
   
   This is a book that is meant to help people living in the real world, where people really are born both gay and good.

4 comments about Uncle Peter's Amazing Chinese Wedding.

1. Jenny is worried she will no longer be Uncle Peter's number-one-girl. He is marrying her future Aunt Stella. Jenny learns the wedding is not a sad occasion but a happy one. Uncle Peter has room in his heart for Jenny and Aunt Stella.
   
   Join Jenny and witness many Chinese wedding traditions. Why does the bride wear red? What is the significance of the color red? Why are people jumping on the candy covered bed? These questions and many more are answered in this delightful story.



2. I've been waiting for this book to come out because I thought it would have information on a Chinese Wedding that I could share with my daughter. The books has very little information on Chinese Weddings other than why a bride wears red which is a lucky color and the traditional wedding outfit. I was hoping for more infomation like the tea ceremony and other things.
   
   This book is basically about a young girl that fears that her Uncle will no longer have a special place in her heart and life for her once he gets married. And the artwork is not what I'd call the best. For me this was a long wait for just a OK book. This book could have had great potiental and done so much more.



3. My 5 year old daughter loves to have me read this book to her. It is a frequent request at bedtime.
   
   I felt the book covered many Chinese wedding traditions at a level a child from 3 to 8 could easily understand. I learned that the tea ceremony symbolized the acceptance of the daughter-in-law into the family because now she served the tea as a family member, rather than being served the tea as a guest. The artwork is bright and colorful, very appealing to young children.
   
   The book also helped my daughter understand that adding family members can expand the love, not take it away.



4. This picture book is an adorable peek into a Chinese-American wedding, which combines many elements of both cultures- symbolic gifts are given, special foods eaten, and traditional outfits worn, but flower bouquets are tossed and guests feast on an American-style wedding cake. The protagonist, Jenny, who is the groom's only niece, is worried that his relationship with his new wife will leave no room for her, and causes mischief throughout the wedding, but is eventually mollified with a genuinely sweet gesture of Stella, the bride. This is an excellent way to show how cultures can combine to create absolutely beautiful celebrations.

5 comments about Taking Space: How to Use Separation to Explore the Future of Your Relationship.

1. This book gives you the framework to building a stronger relationship and at the same time can give you a more positive outlook on everyday life. If your relationship has come to an emotional stand-still, reading this book can help you re-establish a means of communication and cement a more positive foundation for interaction.
   I've purchased nine copies of the book and shared them with friends and family members, and have received only positive responses. Even those that think that they have a perfect relationship, there is still much to learn from simply reading this book.



2. this is a great book that offers a new and important way of looking at
   the issues that arise in any significant partner relationship. it is wonderful not only as a self-help book but also for mental health professionals doing couples work. It is easy to read and packed full of good ideas within the context of "taking space."



3. This book has really helped me! If you or someone you know is struggling in their relationship buy them this book. The concept of taking a "time out" to be with yourself and improve yourself so that you can be a better person in your relationship is priceless advice. All of those folks in that danger zone of divorce or separation need the suggestions given in this book. The many exercises and examples that are offered by Buchicchio are things anyone can do to work on their conflict and create peace with their significant other. I highly recommend this book!!



4. This is an excellent aid to any marriage, whether in crisis or not. Even happy couples can benefit from new insight and ideas to improve their relationship and monitor its health. I strongly encourage everyone to at least read the first few chapters of the book, as they apply to the relationship. Types of separation (physical or psychological) are discussed later.



5. This book is helping me understand where I and my husband are in our emotional states, as well as what is missing from the plans for our separation that is making it harder for both of us to move forward. I wish I had gotten it months ago!
   
   Using case studies and easy to follow language (not heavy psychological talk) it has practical tools and exercises to follow. I was the 'left spouse' and this book (along with counseling) has helped me to understand what I am needing and feeling to turn a jumbled time into some real personal growth.
   
   If you think you need space, are headed for divorce, or want change in your relationship, please read this! It may spare you and your spouse months of conflict and grief.

5 comments about I Do! (Diary of a Teenage Girl: Caitlin, Book 5).

1. I do! Is a story about a girl named Caitlin O'Conner. It is the fifth book in the series of Diary of A Teenaged Girl. Caitlin is a senior in college and was at a wedding for two of her good friend. After a while at the reception, Caitlin and her best friend Beanie were leaving when Josh Miller stopped them. Josh and Caitlin have a history together, and Caitlin has always liked him since high school. Josh asked Caitlin if she was busy that night, and she said no. Josh was driving somewhere that he told Caitlin was special, but Caitlin didn't know about it. He drove to the park and hopped out to open Caitlin's door. They walked through the park until they came to a clearing by the lake. There, Caitlin saw a table lit with candles. They sat down and were served by some high school-aged guys from their church. Then josh went down on one knee, and popped a question.
   I really liked this book because it explains what is happening really well, and makes it so you understand what is going on. I also like this book because every time you start the next book in the series, it explains like some of the things that happened in the book before that so you know what is going on at the beginning. I don't really have any dislikes about the book because I thought it was pretty exciting and interesting throughout the whole thing.
   I don't think people who like adventure books would like this. I also don't think guys would want to read this book because it is more of a girl book.



2. I do, is the fifth and last book in the Caitlin series. It is mainly about Caitlin getting ready for her wedding. Josh proposed to her at the beginning of the book. He proposed to her in a very special way. All through the book she is fighting her wedding battles. She has to try to go through with her mom and Josh's mom telling her different things she needs to do. Josh's mom likes to spend lots of money and Caitlin's mom is the complete opposite. Caitlin just wants to have a simple wedding. Jenny was a very big help since she has transferred to Caitlin's school. They are now rooming together. Beanie got accepted to a design school in New York City and is helping Caitlin out with the designs for the bride's dress and the bridesmaid dresses. Caitlin is also trying to figure out where they should go on their honeymoon. Caitlin and Josh are having their wedding at a big church and the reception at a place they went together in high school. Is Caitlin going to get everything worked out or get completely stressed?
   I would recommend this book to any girl that can read the reading level. I would also recommend this book to people that like the books, P.S Longer Letter Later and Snail Mail No More because they are very similar.
   This book was a very good book. I like everything about it and I don't think that I disliked any part of it.



3. This was an ok book. The story was really good but the way the author kept writing about God was annoying and very immature. If you just ignore all the Christianity in this book, then it's a good story. The story did portray what planning a wedding is really like but the authors overuse of Christianity in this book made it hard to read.



4. I can not keep the books in my classroom! As soon as one is returned it is checked out again. High school students love the stories!



5. Throughout the series I had been waiting anxiously for this one and enjoyed it much more than I had even hoped. In the past ones Caitlin had been very...I don't know, annoying. While I appreciated her faith and views on life, I didn't like how sometimes she came off as too preachy. In this one she starts to loosen up a bit and it was very fun to read! Would totally recommend this book and others by this author!

5 comments about Single, Married, Separated and Life after Divorce.

1. I would recommend this book for all ages, singles and married couples. It provides great insight for personal growth and maturity. It also helps point out potential pitfalls that befall many.



2. This book teaches in depth about the various stages of relationships. Munroe deals very specifically on being whole and complete and how not to control people to meet your needs.



3. It is true that we need to learn to be whole before becoming complete. Everyone should grab this concept before getting married. I would highly recommend another book, "Why Singles are not Married & the Married are Single". Truly compliments this writing. Mike Marra really gets to the basics of each gender and thoroughly discusses modern day situations like no other I have read.



4. I am recently separated and after 22 years of marriage, the thought of being single terrified me. This book gave me a whole new perspective on what it actually means to be single, which is different than being alone. Knowing that we are all created to be unique, whole, "single" humanbeings first and that God made us that way, gives me the strength to stay focused on my healing as a person and not go searching for it with someone else. Being in a relationship with others doesn't make me a whole person and when I enter into a new relationship in the future, I plan on being a strong, unique, whole and single person first this time.
   I highly recommend this book to those who are struggling with the myth that being single isn't the norm.



5. I highly recommend this book for every walk of life wheather you find yourself single, going through a divorce,seperated or divorced... and married just like the title says. It is a book you will want to refer back to over and over again. Be blessed.

5 comments about Staying Together When an Affair Pulls You Apart.

1. Stephen Judah offers sincere, easy to understand, practical advice for both partners to lean on in handling the disclosure of an affair. I went to the library to find resources to help me understand my confusion and pain when my husband's affair was revealed to me. I came home with 7 books. Only "Staying Together" made sense to me. He clearly defined my hurt and expressed my outrage in words that helped me take the edge off. He led me to understand the grief and process of steps that many, many couples have been through with rewarding results. The best feeling I came away with after reading Staying Together is that it is worth the journey to heal, to stay in the life the two of you have built together, to eventually be in a more fulfilling partnership. I have only read it twice, but am starting it again. There is so much to glean from each chapter. Thank you, Dr. Judah.



2. I purchased this book in response to an affair. I was the "spouse in the dark". I used this book as a baseline to help recover from the devastation. Dr. Judah wrote this book using a combination of clinical review and religious belief. As explained in other reviews Dr. Judah uses the example of climbing a mountain, which is a good comparison to recovering from an affair.
   I believe that without having purchased this book, that recovery may have been impossible. This book is an excellent blue print for couples who wish to stay together and rebuild their relationship / marriage.
   In a word -Thanks- Mike.



3. I heard about this book while listening to a Christian Radio program (Family Life Today). I was so impressed with the interview of the author that I ordered the book for my wife's Christian counseling practice. This is a good book for anyone, Christians and non-Christians alike, professional counselors, ministers, and the general population. It is an excellent resource book with great spiritual and secular insights. I recommend it for married and non-married persons. It is now a part to the business library and when be checked out by many people.



4. Judah, Stephen M., Ph.D., Staying Together When an Affair Pulls You Apart, IVP Books. Downers Grove, Il. 2006
   
   Holeman, Virginia Todd, Ph.D., Reconcilable Differences, IVP Books, Downers Grove, Il., 2004
   
   Here are two excellent resources for those of us working with marital couples when one party has had an affair. Stephen Judah quotes the research summary of nine studies that suggest affairs occur more frequently than believed. 50% of all married couples may experience infidelity over the course of their marriage. When couples cohabit, the rates are even higher.
   
   Judah looks at the three types of affairs: 1.) Sexual, 2.)Non-penetrating, i.e., no sexual intercourse, and 3.)Affairs of the heart. He notes that even though affairs all differ, they are very much the same when it comes to the impact on the spouse.
   
   He discusses at length what he considers to be the main causes of affairs, how they develop over time, the conditions that lead up to an affair, and then what causes someone to cross the line into an active affair.
   But the major part of the book looks at the healing process couples He begins with a discussion on what to tell and how, then how the process of reconciliation takes place, the correction of the issues that led to the affair, and how to go beyond the pain to see not only the positives still in the marriage, and be able to envision a future beyond the pain.
   
   Virginia Holman's books looks at affairs, but goes beyond that subject to deal with other damaging issues that occur in a marriage, what she calls marriages at the crossroads. She talks about our need to grow up on the inside as we grow together as a couple.
   
   A major portion of Holman's book looks at seeking and extending forgiveness, how we rebuild trust, and build a new future together. Reconciliation is a major theme of her book, and she uses case studies to show the practical applications of what she is describing.
   
   Both authors speak from the perspective of private practice, so what they have written is valuable to the marital counselor, but both are also written in a style that will be helpful to the couple being counseled. They both do an excellent job of weaving together biblical insight with current psychological studies. Holman is now the professor of counseling at Asbury Theological Seminary.
   
   Final Note: Telephone and Online Counseling may be a great way to help struggling couples. Learn to Provide Telephone and Online Counseling with this book: The Therapist's Clinical Guide to Online Counseling and Telephone Counseling: The Definitive Training Guide for Clinical Practice



5. I have read a ton of books on affairs and this one has been the most comprehensive and clear about pulling it all together (examination of individual and relationship factors, plus process for recovery as a couple). It has been a huge relief to find this book after many months of frustration and reading other books that contain information on certain aspects of affairs and recovery but don't pull all of it together into one helpful, cohesive format.