5 comments about Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction & the Healing Power of Jesus.

1. There are a lot of other books out there chopping down the weeds but Willingham gets a shovel and digs out the roots. This book nails it!



2. Great Book!!!
   I Would recommend it to anyone who deals with sexual addiction!
   Read it with your spouse and get more out of it and revitalize your marriage.
   If u want to overcome sexual addiction this is the book!
   I've read it 3x's,its an awesome book!!



3. This book brings incredible perspective and hope to those that struggle with sexual sin. It has completely opened my eyes to new ways of looking at addiction. Breaking Free does not simply tell you how to stop, it teaches you why the problem exists in the first place. I would not recommend this however to atheists or those who find it uncomfortable to put their faith in God. For Christians however, this book is an amazing tool for those who are sexually broken and those who are married to men struggling with sexual addiction.



4. A great book that gets right to the issues at hand. I would recommend it to anyone I know, even if they are not directly affected by sexual addiction.



5. This is a great book! Everybody should read this to really connect with God in a big way. It's also a great tool to use with a small class. Thanks

5 comments about It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition.

1. I left an abusive relationship and kept wondering why me? This book really helped me see what happened and why I stayed as long as I did. I really could relate to the book well and it helped a lot with the healing process.



2. This book is very informative on this subject matter. It provided the information I needed.



3. This book is amazing & I highly reccomend this book !!!!! Very insightful & extremely helpful !!! Also combines a workbook aspect for assesments !! Please if you have just left a Violent relationship, I highly recommend this book, it could literally save your life !



4. After coming out of an abusive marriage, I was desperate. This book was one of my saviors. It helped to make sense of so much, without feeling ashamed or guilty. I recomend it to anyone who thinks they might have been abused, physically, emotionally, financially.... It's kind of like a best friend.
   In other words a great read.



5. It's My Life Now fills an important gap in the literature on domestic violence. There are several great books out there that help bring the abused to the point of recognizing that they are in an abusive relationship that they must escape. These books help clarify the patterns and cycles that are common to so many abusive relationships. When searching for help and healing myself, I largely encountered books that told me how to get out, get safe, and (had I any children) get custody. But at that point, I had already fought my way out of my abuser's grasp and was searching for something to help me untangle the webs of control, humiliation, and verbal abuse I had endured. I was also struggling with difficult feelings of guilt, loss, and anger that I needed some guidance to process. That is where this book came in: the practical guide to regaining yourself after enduring abuse and/or violence.
   
   What is so valuable and remarkable about this book, compared to many others, is that it walks the abused through the complicated (and admittedly frightening) time AFTER she gets out of the relationship.
   
   It begins with the typical identification of abuse and abusive behaviors, but as this book is written for those who have already left their abuser, this list serves a different purpose. In an incredibly reassuring and helpful chapter that addresses the feelings of love for the abuser that may still remain, we are asked to make a list of the qualities that were attractive in him in the first place. Then, we return to the initial chapter's list of abusive behaviors and make a list of what type of abuses were committed and with what frequency. The positive list serves to reassure the abused that she had compelling reasons for being attracted to the abuser, while the abuses list reminds her that the abuser (however charming) is not who he seemed. There are many more simple, journal-style exercises that I found important for gaining insight and perspective.
   
   The book addresses key issues I encountered in the uncomfortable period that ensued within one week or two of leaving my abuser. The author also recommends that readers return to these topics and exercises one month later, for comparison. (Perspective is everything.) I have emphatically recommended this book to the women I have met in domestic violence support groups, who have returned nothing but praise for the usefulness, pertinence and clarity of It's My Life Now. I have found it invaluable in my own process and will continue to refer to it when I require strength or guidance.

5 comments about Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited.

1. This book is the equivelent to earning a doctorate in Narcissim.
   Vakin is brilliant, and the book is written in such a way, you learn the concepts, I mean really know them. Very few people can teach, Vakin is in that select minority. He just states the facts, and mindset of the Narcissis in every conceavable presentation. By the middle of the book, you get the answer N's live to make you hurt, and miserable, they think it's funny when you are in pain. Noone could read this book without a life changing epiphany. Thankfully by the end you know your N has pulled your dress over your head, in private and public, he is sadistically gleeful and you can no longer live in the illussion that a relationship could work. Bravo



2. I have used Vaknins website and book to give me some ideas, and hope, for the situation I am in. I am setting firm boundaries and consequences. I hope through the book I can learn to get more of my life back. All I can say to others is, "If you can get out, run as fast as you can, cause if you don't get out they will destroy you". I know a couple other women in town who have been in long term marriages to guys like this. One seems to have survived quite well, but she is 'very shut down - emotionless'. The other became a total recluse, and is dying of cancer. I also knew one other, but she died in her 40's from cancer. She was glad to die. Her spirit died long before her. I don't want that for myself. I want to let go of the feelings that my abuser has (poisoned) me with, and I want to, once again, find joy in however long I have left to live.
   
   I researched a lot of books on Narcissism before I chose Vatkins. Compared to Vatkins all the others seemed like "just skimming the surface". There is no two ways about it; his is an excellant book.
   
   One thing to keep in mind when reading this book, or his website; is that Vatkin is a narcissist, and I felt his gloating was evil when he remarked about women coming to him for help, even knowing what he is. There are some things he says that makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Also, when reading the book, sometimes I questioned what he had to say because as a narcissist he seems to direct his advice, of course, from a narcissistic viewpoint, so his advice seems to favor the narcissist at times. Also, the advice he gives sometimes in one part of the book is very different in another part of the book - almost opposite. So, though he has a lot of good to say, weigh his advice before applying it to your own life.



3. This book has been liberating by helping me explore the mind of a narcissist. The confusion and whirlwind my life had become within my relationship with this man overwhelmed my entire life. Reading this book has helped me immensely to correlate his actions and behaviors to this mental problem. I have tried everything and realize the hard wiring is not going to be changed in him, I need to change me and stop trying to change others. I am sadden by the truth however liberated to have such a better understanding of what I have just experienced.



4. If you are reading this review about Malignant Self Love, then you finally suspect that you are dealing with a Narcissist. To suspect is common, but to deny can be fatal. You are probably confused, worn out and defeated. You are probably tying to resurrect yourself out of the ashes of deception, despair and distress. You probably feel like you have been lead around the Mulberry Bush in endless loops. If this sounds familiar, then you MUST have capable assistance. You need an individual that can imagine, plot, examine, relate and SOLVE your nightmare. You need an insider... Dr. Sam Vaknin. He is a Narcissist. Sam has examined his reflection and magnified it for his readers in Malignant Self Love. Sam has plugged all the loopholes, exposed all the plots, and introduced a new language to confront the Narcissist. Vaknin has composed OVER 100 Frequently Asked Questions, Essays and more, contained in a volume of 600 pages! Sam has designed Malignant Self Love as a `hands-on' tool that can immediately bring relief. If you want to breathe again, if you are at your wits end, if everything has been tried and failed, if you NEED a change, then Malignant Self Love can give you your life back. This book is a lifesaver!
   
   Kathi Stringer
   Kathi's Mental Health Review



5. Sam... I was very close to turning my life over to the N.... Turning over my money because he made me feel stupid He spent all his money on me in the beginning... And that's is why he says its all gone... all on me?...I felt obligated to stay and help him I talked about this with Anna Nicole, But as Nicole says neither she nor I put guns to their head...
   They enjoyed the attention being with beautiful women. She is dead because she wanted to give attention to her children and not him... Believe what you want... I know what happened...She would still be alive had she read your book...
   
   You are a narcissist which is freakin amazing....Life saving strategic plans... I love you for this...
   It's like a cheat sheet for us....
   Oscar De La Hoya's son does not like getting hit in the face but he has a killer tennis backhand. He takes public debate speaking classes and YOU my friend... will have front row seats at the US open when he slaughters his challenger
   
   
   Back to your book, OD accidental or not was just there just to get the madness to stop...
   Psych hospital al ready to check myself in (FOUND OUT HE WAS PARKING MY CAR IN DIFFERENT PLACES SO I WOULD COME OUT OF STORE LOST.... LOOKING FOR MY CAR GIRLS CALLING ME STUIP BIMBO CANT REMEMER WHERE YOU PARKED) thank god nanny caught him doing it I never told him she saw it...
   A fight and I would have been in prison...
   
   Can you image that headline "Mother of Oscar De La Hoya's son arrested on murder charges"... She claims man with narcissistic personality disorder made her do it... Oh yea...
   Hardly... But hey that's true and I am all for bringing light to this subject for myself and for my friend Anna Nicole Smith... More people need to get involved in diagnosing these people Not like you can put condom on your heart. ... People do sometimes get away with murder and they can pass lie detectors without even a move in emotional lines--------------------------straight across more work and more people need to understand... read your book and get involved!
   Sam You saved my life and you brought peace in my heart for my friend, Thanks.
   She was the most beautiful giving and funny as hell ... But trustworthy... His day will come someday someway.
   Angelicque

5 comments about The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Revised Edition).

1. This book helps any survivor realize that they are not alone in this healing journey. There are plenty of actual accounts of survivors and their stories. Along with lists that help connect the dots with our current behaviors and the past. Eye opening and soul serching this book is a life saver.



2. This book is a very practical easy to read step by step process to help recover from abuse. My partner is currently reading it and I have read "Allies in Healing" which is a great supplement for this book if you're in a relationship trying to cope with this type of recovery. I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to acknowledge the problem and improve their relationship.



3. This book was not easy to read.
   However. Over and over again it phrased things in the perfect way. I can only read it a few pages at a time. I'm only halfway through, and I'm still inching along. When I'm ready to see, ready to learn, ready to be moved, I read this book.
   
   It's wonderful accompanyment to "Courage to Heal" it takes a much more straightforward approach, and is more heartbreaking to read.
   
   What I like about it is that there is a LOT of work that a single person can do in there. It's not dependent on being in a romantic relationship.



4. This book is an excellent guide towards discovering the innermost effects that sexual abuse can have on an individul over time. The information is so familiar that, at times, it can be overwhelming to read. Chapter 8 contains helpful suggestions to direct abused indivduals toward healing and healthy sexual behavior. I finally felt like all of my feelings and fears were being described in a way that I had never been able to communicate. This book has helped me to understand my actions and has changed the ways in which I view myself.



5. I finally understand what was happening to me. This book helped me and my husband through this horrible ordeal. I am now able to communicate to him what I am feeling, he now undersands what I went through. I highly recommend to any survivor who is just beginning their journey of healing.

5 comments about At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry.

1. I have read several books that tell of the problem all men struggle with: sexual idolatry or at least lust. Christians are no different!In my opinion, every Christian man ought to read this book. This book grabs the bull by the horns, and in a Biblical way. You'll be fully satisfied with this book!



2. Everybody does it.
   
   This has become the excuse for sexual sin within the church in our current culture. Internet or video porn, chat rooms, phone sex...perhaps you've tried them. Perhaps your pastor has. Perhaps your husband has.
   
   God has one clear intention for human sexuality, and no matter how seemingly small or harmless, misuse of it is sin. And it can lead to addiction.
   
   If you are sturggling with getting control over your viewing habits, fantasy life, or other misuses of God's gift of sexuality in marriage, this book can truly help you. It helped me. It contains practical advice based on Scripture and personal experience of the author.
   
   We weren't made for darkness. Step into the light and be free from this body of death.



3. Now in a revised and expanded 20th anniversary edition, At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry is a guide for Christian men about the struggle to overcome sexual addiction through faith and spirituality. Author Steve Gallagher, founder and president of Pure Life Ministries, discusses his strict views on sexuality and means by which faithful individuals can overcome their base desires and live a more godly life. It should be noted that At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry emphatically condemns all forms of sex outside of marriage - including masturbation. "The devil can dangle a carrot in front of your face, but there is something inside you that actually wants that carrot. You aren't lustful because some demon comes on you. You are lustful because you have within you a desire for what isn't right." A powerful guide to finding inner peace despite the dual rampant onslaught of today's sexually charged culture from without, and the utterly selfish sexual cravings from within.



4. From my perspective this book can be helpful to men struggling with sexual idolatry. Mr. Gallagher provides great encouragement to those that are downcast and bound up by all forms of sexual lust. I know that I found what he had to say encouraging and convicting.
   
   However, one word of caution for those who are struggling with sexual sin. Steve Gallagher presents vivid stories about sexual lust, but those who are struggling with sexual lust will find themselves stirred up to lust by the stories because of the vivid detail. The stories, in my opinion, are too descriptive. He could have given readers the stories, but with less details to get his point across. So please be careful to read this book with a person that will keep you accountable.
   
   If you do not think that you can find someone to keep you accountable to read this book (or you do not find a accountable because of shame and fear (which is a form of pride)). I would recommend reading another book. I would recommend the following...
   
   1. Overcoming Lust in a Sex Crazed World by C. Matthew McMahon (Puritan Publications)
   2. Sex is not the problem, Lust Is by Joshua Harris
   3. The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn
   
   These books provide not only practical tips, but they seek to form a theological foundation for understanding sexual desire, (which God created), which will help men and women to consistently put to death the desires of the flesh.
   
   This is not a bad book, but can possibly fill your mind with more sexual distortions (even though that is not the intent of the book) because of the detailed stories.



5. if you are a Chrisitan who is sincerely struggling against your sin but can't get an abiding victory, this is THE book to get you going in the right direction. the focus of the book is on besetting sexual sin and it is the best i have ever seen on this subject, but it has much wisdom to use against all type of besetting sin.
   
   this book is not a "fun" read at all, but it is good strong medicine that can change your life if you are serious about changing.

5 comments about Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred.

1. This book has been very useful to me. It's written with a good deal of compassion and insight, and even though I think the authors oversimplify some issues, they manage to get near the heart of what makes sex so difficult for many people. The recommended activities are generally weak and none too useful, but that's true of most self-help books. Even the good ones.



2. After having tried different kinds of books and therapy which mainly is focusing on the technical aspects of sex with little success or progress, I feel that this book really goes behind the technical and offers a more complete explanation as to why some people have a difficult relationship with sex.
   In comparison to other books that seem to tell you that if you have difficulty with sex you must have been sexually abused as a child, this book offers a more complete analysis and makes you think of little things and details which along the way might have caused you to find sex difficult, but in an uplifting manner, saying that it is ok and that you can solve it. It also tells you that you are not the only one suffering from this fear of intimacy and that it is ok and you can do something about it.
   In my opinion it is a very well written book and is worth reading for a lot of people in order to get a greater understanding of themselves and the world around them, focusing on how intimacy can be difficult and providing solutions to work through it.



3. This is a great book to get out of the denial of problems with intimacy and sexuality. It is to the point and gives great help for recovery.



4. I have only just recently begun to read this book. But already I am absolutely shocked by how on target everything it says is. As I read the pages, I find myself wondering if the author has not been observing me and taking notes. I have always held a strong fear of sexuality, and always feel guilty when I find myself watching pretty girls or getting aroused. The author's descriptions if an interior world of denial and self doubt are precisely on the mark. I have not begun to utilize any therapeutic tips offered within, but so far I am deeply impressed.



5. I purchased this book in hopes that it would help a friend of mine through her troubles, as she was abused in childhood and as a result she's unable to have a physical relationship with anyone.
   
   This book seemed nice, but upon flipping through it I realized that it assumes that the reader is a man or woman in a relationship that is already having sex & doesn't find joy in it. That doesn't help my best friend, since she's NOT in a relationship with anyone and would feel left out by the book. The book wouldn't be any help for her, and ended up being a waste of my money. Why would I give her a book that isn't going to help her? Still, it did make some nice points but again... the fact that the writers are assuming that they are speaking to married or partnered men/women really alienates a large chunk of people.
   
   EDIT:
   
   Seriously, I ended up showing her the book & she herself echoed my own thoughts. It wasn't helpful to her. All of the exercises & suggestions were for couples. While the book looked like it would be helpful for her in some ways, the book only focused on couples. It's not helpful to a person who is going this "alone". Vote me down if you want, but this book needs to state that it is for COUPLES, not singles who are dealing with this problem.

4 comments about Please Tell!: A Child's Story About Sexual Abuse (Early Steps).

1. I'm really impressed with this book. It's told in the first person by a little girl who is sexually abused by her uncle in terms that a young child can understand. It discusses how she is supported by her family, and how it is seeing a psychologist. It really does a good job of destigmatizing sexual abuse. It also encourages children who have been (or are being) abused to keep telling trusted adults about it until someone helps them. In the back it also provides a fairly long list of people who it is okay to tell.



2. Please Tell is one of the most amazing help I ever had with my clients. My youth get a comfort when they read this story. They don't feel alone any more, because another girl like them had the same bad experience. Then, they feel confident to talk about their own abuse.
   It's the best help for helpers.



3. As a child therapist, this book is very useful when working with most child victims of sexual abuse. It is a way to help them open up about their own feelings by relating their story to Jessie's story.



4. My baby girl listened, but seemed distant. I pray that the signs I've seen and guessed them to be signs of abuse are wrong. I bought the books to read to my little girl so she will know that she can tell her Dad if Mommy's family is hurting her. I pray not, but will not take any chances, as my Ex's family abused her until she was taken and put into a foster home, and then a girls Home at age 13. She's mentally twisted. I was wrong to think I could help her. It all fell apart when we moved to Kansas to be close to her (what she claimed were the GOOD part of her family), They are NOT.

5 comments about The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-By-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault.

1. For my research paper, I the topic was the "Effects of Rape". I was off to a rough start, but after reading this book I finished my paper immediately. As a rape victim I HIGHLY recommend this book as a guide to a healthy recovery. It's not your fault...



2. This book offers constructive things a person can do to heal. Helps you understand your emotions, accept them and do things to increase your positive feelings about yourself after such a traumatic experience. It was so valuable to me--much more understanding words than most therapists provide. Helps you get out negative emotions. Fabulously written by a person who understands. Must have



3. I have had panic and annoyance and rage after doing the exercises - I am glad I exploring all aspects of what happened to get a better view of whom I am and why. It's scary how every single thing about me is touched by a rape from over 20 years ago. But I am glad to know that when I remembered the rape and how my parents weren't there and then I jumped across the room to pull my Mom's hair that was a GOOD sign of healing. Honestly. I felt better for having the sudden rage that scared me. The book is only half done, but the stuff I see coming up makes sense now that I have worked this far. But don't think it'll be easy. This is not an easy book.



4. I am working through this book. I have finished the first chapter that contained exercises. The exercises are not easy, but once you've written everything down you feel a bit better about things.
   
   I am using this book in conjunction with therapy, and highly recommend that you have a therapist or someone you can talk to while you work through this book.
   
   So I did the exercises one night, and then went to therapy the next morning. I read everything to my therapist and I felt really good. But after therapy suddenly I felt emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I couldn't do anything the rest of the day.
   
   You will feel a lot of emotions come up while you do the exercises...from anger, to sadness, to fear, etc. That is why I recommend having somebody you can talk to. These emotions can be hard to sit with on your own.
   
   I hope this review was helpful, because it wasn't like I wanted everyone on the internet knowing what happened to me.
   
   jamesgirl



5. I was perturbed after the epilogue..titled "It Almost Happened to Me". What do you think of it?
   
   Her epilogue:
   
   One Sunday morning while I was working on this book, a man slipped into my home. I had just come back from the gym, taken off my coat, and turned to shut the door -- only to find a man standing in my hallway. He asked, "Can I come in?" He had a childish face, a timid demeanor, and from the religious pamphlets he was carrying, he appeared to be a missionary of some kind.
   But I sensed danger. I slammed the door and yelled at him to go away. I had to yell several times. He finally left. I was calling the police when I looked outside a window and saw him running from one neighbor's backyard to another, peering over their fences. Then, for some reason, he ran away.
   I alerted a few neighbors and then I went to church and the grocery store. As usual, I left my backdoor open to carry in my groceries. Within minutes, the man who had come to my door earlier that morning walked into my kitchen. The minute I saw him there, I started to scream loudly and repeatedly. I didnt decide to screa. The screams just started coming out, each one louder than the last. He turned around and left. Even after he fled, I kept on screaming. I couldnt make myself stop, even though I had to call the police.
   That evening I tried to continue working on this book, but I couldn't stop shaking. That lasted for some days. For several weeks, I had nausea, nightmares, flashbacks, backaches and was "hyper"--my whole body was on emergency alert.
   ~~~~~~~~
   
   She sounds either paranoid or like a drama queen. What a coinkidink a potential rapist comes to her house...while she was writing this book!
   
   She also claims to have been mugged, which is what she based her 1996 book "I Can't Get Over it" on.
   Then this happens? I dont believe it.
   I will be checking her credentials. If she was misleading about her education, I will demand my money back.

5 comments about Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties that Bind (Norton Professional Book).

1. Dr. Baker's work is becoming a solid seminal reference, helping children and families around the globe. This is the first study with solid statistics to give families warring with alienation, validation, hope and resources. If you or someone you know are at all affected by Parental Alienation, this is an absolute must read. The 40 case studies Dr. Baker describes, helps us understand the effects of grown up children that were alienated by a parent. In addition to describing the behaviors of how these actual parents alienated their children, Baker conveys the process these 40 grown children went through, realizing the alienation and the effect on their lives and perception of themselves. This is a real life look at 40 lives that were willing to share their story, so we might benefit. This is the first in what is sure to become a long line of research and statistical study for abused children and their families. Thank you Dr. Baker for your work of integrity and care. Know your research provides an integral base for connecting children, who have had part of their soul stolen, to tangible resources, help and healing. I look forward to the future research and study your work is instigating and inspiring.



2. This book described my situation perfectly, as far as what PAS is. I am not and my kids are not adults yet, but it was good to know there is info on this "Syndrome".



3. This is such a helpful book, I even purchased copies for my kids. This is a topic that needs to be talked about and exposed and this book is a great way to educate others on the topic of Parental Alienation Syndrome. It should be required reading for all involved in family court law. If I would have had this book ten years ago, my family may have been saved from the horrendous effects of PAS.



4. Being a "targeted" parent as described in the book made this book quite helpful for me to understand exactly what I and my kids have and are going through. Dr. Baker's research and descriptions from those interviewed posted incredible similarities to my own experiences and gave me a new sense of hope.
   If you are in fact a parent that has been alienated from your kids by another, this book is a must read. If you were alienated as a child from one of your parents, this book is no less an important read. If you are a therapist that counsels people in this position, it will prove to be an invaluable referance tool.



5. As a targeted parent whose daughter has not spoken with him for the last 5 years, Amy Baker's book, "Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties that Bind" has been the most informational and encouraging book I've read on the P.A.S. topic so far.
   
   The reason is simple: This book is comprised of interviews of the KIDS (now adults) who were poisoned, not the parents who were either the alienator or target.
   
   It was astonishing to read what these people, who as children were manipulated into hating one of their parents, had to say once they "woke up".
   
   Without going into all of the results, let me mention the two most important lessons I learned from these kids:
   
   1. The average length of time it took these kids to "wake up" was 20 years. Yikes! But, at least they woke up.
   2. The overwhelming majority had wished the targeted parent tried harder to re-develop the relationship, regardless of how much they were "hated".
   
   These two revelations are telling me: "Don't ever give up. Don't ever stop trying".
   
   Thanks to Amy for doing this study and writing this book. It could prove to be the most important document I will see until I eventually reunite with my daughter.

No comments about In The Shadows of The Net: Breaking Free from Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior.