4 comments about A Mother's Touch: Surviving Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse.

1. The author obviously knows what it means to be resilient and does a wonderful job of passing that informaton on to others. A great read, short and to the point.



2. This was the first book that I have ever read that helped me feel not so alone with maternal sexual abuse. It was not really "clinical" but instead was written by a woman who is a clinician but gave her personal account of what happened to her. There are precious few personal accounts written on this subject and for those of us who have been sexually abused by our mother's it's definitely one to cherish.



3. I work with a number of women who were sexual abused as children. Several were sexually abused by their mothers. This book has helped my patients realize that they are not crazy or alone. It is a difficult read, but well worth it if you want to understand the complexities of the impact of abuse on a child.



4. Author Julie A Brands hits the nail on the head with this short, easy to read book. As a survivor of mother-daughter sexual abuse, this book helped me to know that I was not alone and that the things that happened to me were not all "in my mind". An excellent tool for those who have gone through this little known form of child sexual abuse as well as for those who are trying to understand a woman who has gone though this.

5 comments about Stop Hurting the Woman You Love: Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior.

1. It may seem strange that a woman would read and review this book but there is very good information in here for anyone touched by abuse. I even found it helpful as a mother of a son who is trying to raise her son to be able to express emotions, something that the book discusses as helpful. This book is very readable and practical. The advise on "time-out" is very helpful and is important for women in an abusive relationship to understand that when men walk away, it is probably a good thing. Chapter 6 on "What Kind of Man am I" is a great tool and Chapter 10 on "Loving Relationships" provides a nice positive alternative for building a healthy relationship, which is not something that is intuitive or obivous but can be learned! All in all, a very important book.



2. While a man might see this book title and say "Oh, I never hit my wife"--the book covers more than simple physical abuse. This is really about abusive relationships and the way men react to situations that lead to abusive relationship. There are helpful questionnaires about things that trigger feelings of anger and a discussion of how you got that way. The book is about changing thinking and behavior, whether in a 12-step program or not.
   
   The "read me first" introduction ends with the blunt comment that reading this book will make some people want to "flush it down the toilet." The author suggests that doing so will only clog your plumbing and keep you from improving your life. The book takes courage to read, so I am not sure how many men would resist that urge to clog the pipes, but those that do resist the urge to mash up this book will find this a life-saving book.



3. I know of a case in which the wife had a restraining order ordered against HER, and the next time she attacked the MAN, he was removed from his home and children and she was given everything. He was discovered by the police hiding in a basement closet from the woman's violence and yet he and his children lost everything irretrievably.
   
   End the gender prejudice in these popular but prejudicial works. Realize many men are the victim of even lethal physical abuse by women. Work for justice as well as for peace. Renounce the violence of this anti-male sexism as well as our imperial and national violent official policies. Pray for peace, and realize how deeply each of us must confront our own violence within, women as well as men. Pray with the works of the Rev. Father John Dear, SJ, as a path to peace within each and every one of us, man and woman. Stop the cycle, but realize it is not only from men, who also have been victims of domestic violence.
   
   Read John Dear for a gender free path away from violence in all of its dimensions.



4. Often self help books such as this one - 'Stop Hurting the Woman You Love: Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior' - are either so beyond the scope of the casual reader that they are dismissed after the first chapter or two, or they are so simplistic that they seem like a milked out one-liner pushed into book form for profit for the writer.
   
   Not so with this particular book. In its rather brief, easily digestible, non-threatening manner authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood and Elaine Eldridge have created a manual that is easily readable, supportive, and one with effective management of the progression of topics that will be a true asset to the many men who are caught in the web of spousal abuse.
   
   Using plain language instead of psycho-speak, the authors offer ways to recognize abusive behavior, usable and effective patterns to alter that behavior, and the all important supportive sense that any man who is 'man enough' to take charge of his life (that life including a constant state of misusing and misunderstanding inherent anger) can find a much needed level of behavior modification with all the associated rewards that accompany the work the authors clearly outline. The book contains weights and measures tables to assist the reader in self-evaluation and then follows those tasks with sound steps to alter the problematic abusive behavior.
   
   For this reader the difference in the style of writing is the degree of supportive measures that accompany each phase of 'healing', steps that do not pamper the 'patient' but instead take a hard and realistic look at a potentially serious topic and then treat the reader with respect, examples and encouragement. The only problem with this helpful guide is that it is written solely for heterosexual couples: the next edition will hopefully acknowledge the fact that same sex couples need to be included in the panorama of partner abuse. This is a serious omission that needs correcting. Grady Harp, October 06



5. It's pretty obvious that someone who thinks it's all right to push and slap women, order women around like a drill sergeant does, and expect complete obedience isn't going to be a candidate for any self-help book to develop a better relationship. But some men who behave that way are shocked when their girl friend or wife leaves, calls the police, and begins legal proceedings . . . and those men want to restore the relationship, even if it means they have to change. If such a man is willing to enter a group that works on overcoming those behaviors and the attitudes that lie behind them, Stop Hurting the Woman You Love can be a very helpful resource.
   
   Mr. Donaldson and Mr. Flood have considerable experience in assisting men to make this kind of transition through their work as directors of the Men's Resource Centers in Holland and Grand Rapids, Michigan. Most of the men they see are sent to the centers by a court after having been found to be criminally abusive.
   
   From that background, the authors create some fictional types that represent the kinds of men who become abusers. I recognized several of the types among men I know what have abused their wives. They then do a fine job of explaining how these men see what's going on . . . and how those faulty views of reality get the men (and the women they love) into
   trouble. This material is presented in straightforward language, and I doubt if anyone will find a confusing message anywhere in the book.
   
   Once having looked at abusers, the reader is invited to find out about himself through a self-assessment built from attitudes and behaviors. You are then guided to identify your primary style of interacting with women and your family. The rest of that chapter explores pathways to escaping from vicious cycles of abuse for that kind of person. Cleverly, the authors allow no escape from confronting what might be done: There's even a category for the respondents who don't find anything wrong in themselves during the self-assessment.
   
   The book has lots of practical advice such as how to give yourself a time-out before your anger spills over into abuse.
   
   The authors also help readers understand where their attitudes and behaviors come from and what emotions their anger is masking.
   
   Finally, the book helps refocus the reader on seeing the relationship from both the female and male perspectives at the same time.
   
   I particularly enjoyed reading the reference to research about how long-term relationships are based on five positive things done for every somewhat negative one. Why not shoot for a higher ratio than that?
   
   I couldn't help but feel that a lot of the abusers described here were living in a fantasy world when they got married, a world in which the best traits of their mothers and most stimulating girl friends were going to be combined into one woman who provided lots of mothering, attention, and irresponsible pleasure for the men while the children take care of themselves.
   
   I have mixed feelings about encouraging people to read this book. At one level, I hope lots of people do so and that abuse is lessened. At another level, I hope that no one needs this book because people were able to permanently stop abuse on their own. But I fear that my former feeling is the more accurate, if less optimistic one. I see too many women with shiners, broken arms, and swollen faces to think that physical violence has disappeared from America.

5 comments about Erotic Innocence: The Culture of Child Molesting.

1. I meant too review "Harmful to minors" which I read not this one which I didn't read (in its entirety)-- but I'm against the fear mongers that wish to frighten and repress young people (esp teens) -- read Freud--children are already sexual--they can be repressed not "sexualized



2. Back in the 1950s, Leslie Fiedler stunned America with his thesis that the great American novels were homoerotic love stories: Huck and Jim in "Huckleberry Finn," Ishmael and Queequeg in "Moby Dick," etc. He seemed correct as well as sensational, and American writing since Fiedler's magnum opus "Love and Death in the America Novel" and his jarring essay "Come Back to the Raft again Huck Honey" has only buttressed his point.

   James Kinkaid has made an even bolder claim a half-century later, that pedophile fantasy can be found at the heart of our most revered movies like "The Good Ship Lollipop" or "Home Alone." "Our culture has enthusiastically sexualized the child while denying just as enthusiatically that it was doing any such thing," he writes, capsulizing his argument. I think this claim in intuitively true. A lot of films show kids in their underwear gratuitously and use the ambivalence of art to insinuate what taboo dictates cannot be directly stated. Macaulay Culkin in the "Home Alone" movies is a beautiful blonde with unnatural cherry-red lips like Harlowe or Monroe!

   But the conclusions Kinkaid draws from his observations aren't as forceful and eloquent as the debunking observations themselves. If he is right, what does this mean? His answer seems to be kind of vague. He suggests we rewrite the Gothic script and stop overrating innocence and panicking about the burgeoning sexuality of the young. His pervasive humor throughout the book suggests a kind a campy scholarship. I am all for humor, but I think Kinkaid needs to write another book about how our society can get out of the quandary of its sexual hypocrisy. It's a larger and more complex subject than he seems to think. Also, he chooses his pictures poorly, and I think they're essential to making his points about the eroticized child.

   I hope these misgivings don't steer you away from "Erotic Innocence" though. Its a totally fresh perspective, and how many books deliver that anymore? Read it as the opening slavo of what I'm predicting will be a long 21st century battle between the prigs and the libertarians.




3. I'm not a child molester or a pedophile by any stretch of the imagination, but I picked up this book because it had an interesting thesis- that our culture eroticizes youth and, in a way, invites molesters to act on their impulses.
   
   Kincaid even suggests that Mac Culkin in Home Alone (1 and 2)was chosen for his sexuality- his blonde hair and red lips. I'll be the first to admit that when I saw those films, I thought Culkin was just adorable, but in a sexual way? Come on! Anyone who watches that kind of movie for that is a sicko who should be locked up!
   
   There is a beauty to youth, as Michaelangelo surely observed, but normal, responsible adults know the difference between that pure, ideal beauty and the kind that elicits sexual fantasy.
   
   Kincaid's book is certainly thought provoking, and very well-written, so I give it 3 stars.



4. This is a dreadful book, one of the worst I've ever read.
   
   In brief, Kincaid cannot write. Admittedly he can put nouns with verbs and form sentences into paragraphs. But he cannot tell a story or present a coherent analysis or argument. And he is a bore of the first magnitude, telling inane stories of no particular point and going off into multiple and serpentine tangents.
   
   He leadens his ancedotes with incessant, irrelevent asides, employing a smart-alecky undergraduate "humor". He is a master of the sweeping, unsupported generalization. He will not let his reader draw his own conclusion, but pounds away at his very limited point.
   
   That point? Simply that American popular culture exploits the dangers of child molestation for its own {commercial}purposes. Way to go professor!
   
   See for example the last paragraph at page 207, as bad a piece of writing as you will ever see. A news-wire story about a child molester in Texas somehow winds up in East Liverpool, Ohio, where the reader is gratutiously informed-twice no less- a Notre Dame football coach hails from. There is also something about "The judge slurping back drool as he spoke". What? This is a god-awful mess.
   
   Or try his final tale at pp. 294-295 where Kincaid takes us to a muddy field outside a circus where a bore is haranguing him while his grand-daughter is about to topple into a pit. What? And talk about calling other people boorish!
   
   The evidence for his main conclusion is his addictive watching of trashy daytime T.V., movies largely featuring little boys such as the "adorable" Culkin kid and wads of old newspaper ads he clips. Presumably his idea of multi-tasking is clipping news articles about weird events while watching Orpah's latest soap opera.
   
   Not surprisingly then Kincaid is himself infatuated with children, primarily boy children. He is especially obsessed with "our national obsession with underpants". That obsession-not surprisingly- is really only his own- projected onto the populace at large. Movies like "Home Alone" and "Stand By Me" are the occasion for him to dwell at length at scenes of boys in their underwear. {I don't know about you, but I've seen these movies several times, and I don't even remember such scenes; but then I am not the scholar Kincaid is}.
   
   He unfortunately must share every piece of his collected trivia with his suffering readers. He not only airs his dirty linen in public, but insists on describing it in gruesome detail, then concluding how sick it shows the rest of us to be.
   
   Kincaid is a pedantic fool who presents himself as the real champion of "our" children. He constantly employs an "our-we-ism" that implies "we" are all in this together, and he is merely our guide- a first among equals. In fact, his tone is one of uncorrupted superiority. He is a nasty little man who insults whole groups and individuals as 'morons', 'idiots', etc.
   
   But his own discussions of movies for instance are primitive in the extreme. They would not pass muster in a tenth grade English class.
   
   This book is a childish and naive tirade against a very soft target. Certainly T.V is a commercial enterprise that exploits "our" lowest aspirations for sex and scandal-be it with children, adults, or for that matter other life forms . But Professor Kincaid's posturing as a contemporary Sigmund Freud uncovering "our" secret peeking at semi-clad children is only his own desire writ large.
   
   Professor Kincaid should stick to boring captive 19 year old undergraduates.
   
   Blaine in Seattle.
   blainefielding@gmail.com



5. It would be both easy and comforting to dismiss Kincaid as being prone to over-generalization, as projecting his own sick fantasies onto the world at large, and as being dismissive of the reality of child abuse and its seriousness. It would also be ridiculous. Kincaid presents an excellent thesis (That our culture's Victorian era sexualization of children is responsible for our modern child fixation and abuse, and that this sexualization is harmful to children). He discusses the ways that our erotic fixation on children serves us. Overall, this is a very interesting and compelling book.
   
   There are a few problems with it however:
   -He fails to recognize that children (and/or young adolescents) were treated sexually prior to the Victorian reinvention of the child and that there may or may not be biological and/or evolutionary reasons for fixation on children. Kincaid asks repeatedly why we think of children as sexual, what in our culture makes us believe that this is the case, but fails each time to consider that children may in fact Be sexual. I am not suggesting that children are actually legitimate erotic targets, but it is poor logic to never consider the possibility.
   
   -He approaches this discussion from a literary analysis perspective. The thesis may have been better served by a sociologist, a psychologist, an anthropologist, or a historian. Towards the end of the book he attempts to find solutions for our cultural conundrum, and suggests the creation of new stories. He constantly berates well-meaning individuals for prolonging "the conversation". While I agree that in part public discourse that assumes that childhood = victimhood and that sexual abuse = irrevocable damage may be harmful, I find it counter-productive to suggest that not talking about the problem will solve it. Additionally, a social scientist might have had a slightly more cogent grasp of the recovered/false memory controversy.
   
   -Finally, he tends towards utterly irrelevant asides (periodically in defense of Freud, which certainly didn't win him any points with me). Some of these are funny, some of which show his biases, and some of them seem to serve no purpose at all. More editing and a slightly more academic (by which I mean a reliance on evidence and science rather than conjecture and metaphor) take would have made this a much stronger book.
   
   Overall, this book is fascinating, but should be read with a critical eye, and ideally paired with "Harmful To Minors" by Judith Levine.

4 comments about Free of the Shadows: Recovering from Sexual Violence.

1. This book was a god-send when I was recovering from my experience with rape and I have recommended it to countless others in the crisis intervention work that I do with other survivors. It is one of the best books available for explaining the after-math of rape to survivors and to their friends and family. This book is NOT SCARY TO READ. Far less likely to trigger fear and panic responses in survivors (especially recent survivors) than many on the market. The content is honest and comprehensive but not graphic or anecdotal. The organization of the book is such that even someone suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (whose powers of concentration may be significantly diminished) can read and digest it relatively easily - the sections are very short and the type is large. Each chapter also includes "for the friends and family" sections, which give invaluable advice about how loved ones can support the survivor and take care of themselves as well. T! his book was the first "person" to tell me that what I was experiencing was a normal reaction to what had happened to me and that I wasn't going crazy. It's a very important book for anyone who is recovering from rape or anyone who cares about someone who is.



2. At first I thought it was overly simplistic. But I think its like that for people to be able to read it immediatly after a rape. Anyway, I think its very good. As rape tends not to be something that is openly discussed amongst even close female friends, (for me anyhow) it gives the opportunity to outline some pretty basic guidelines which- sadly just arn't discussed as freely as they should be. Very good. I thought I was pretty aware, but this reinforced and highlighted perspectives that lurk in the mind, but werent addressed. Surprisingly informative. Made me realize how far reaching the effects of the rape were and how recovery from the effects of the rape were just as important as recovering from the rape/assault itself. If you are on the recieving end of unwanted sexual attention, this is a great book. I have found that there seem to be very few books about rape, which is surprising, as I have always found rapes and assaults to be far too commonplace in this society. I think the word rape puts a lot of people off, because they think it always refers to something quite extreme or violent, but sexual assaults are often not 'OTT', but can be just as scarring. -meaning the act itself is one of violence, but the rapist will not always beat people up or yell etc,. It might be a threatening act, but be equqlly as damaging to the psyce as a more voilent rape scenario.



3. This book is fantastic. My friend was raped, and I wanted to get her a book that wouldn't scare her but would answer her questions thoroughly. This entire book is a series of VERY helpful questions and answers grouped by topic in chapters. A good book for raising self-esteem and helping get on with life. I agree that it is definately NOT scary to read, and definately one of the more gentle books to read. This is an especially helpful book in my case where my friend believes it's her fault, when it really wasn't. It helped a LOT!!



4. I read this book after an experience that I had in college. It was very easy to read and also informative. "Free of the shadows" is a great book for anyone who has experienced sexual assault. It is also a good book for family and friends to read who are trying to help a love one get through a difficult time. I loaned the copy I had to a friend, who in turn loaned it to a friend. I have been looking for a copy of this book for years! Ever bookstore that I went to told me that they couldn't order it. They said it was unavailable. I am very happy to see that this very resourceful book is still in print.

2 comments about Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future.

1. Even at age 60 I continue to learn about the impact of intergenerational abuse infecting my family. Engel, a survivor of abuse herself, describes the various abuses and abusers, the impact on the victim, and suggests methods to counter the negative. Abusers are all around us, even the US Missile Defense Department. My unfortunate newphew's father describes him as a "bum who did nothing and emotionally abused her (girlfriend)" and is mystified by the adult child's behavior. The book unveils the secrets that perpetuate this behavior and how it goes unchecked.



2. This book very thoroughly explains what constitues abuse, the effects and what to do about it once you are an adult. Beverly Engel has a way of presenting the truth without glossing it over but without leaving the reader feeling like he or she is powerless to change the future. This book explains how the cycle of abuse continues from generation to generation and gives concrete things that you can do to get off the victim/aggressor merry-go-round. Extremely insightful and thorough.

5 comments about Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like.

1. Rosalind B. Penfold, Dragonslippers: This Is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like (Black Cat, 2005)
   
   This is a stunning book.
   
   Rosalind Penfold has created a piece of art that outlines, in the starkest and most blunt terms, domestic abuse. She drew most of it during a ten-year abusive relationship, and drawing in, or just after, the moment lends this book an immediacy, a power that cannot be overstated. Ninety, perhaps ninety-five, percent of it would land it at the top of my year's-best list. Rosalind Penfold's relationship is the stuff nightmares are made of, and she has done a perfect job of translating it into a nightmare that those of us who have thankfully never experienced these horrors can still identify with.
   
   This makes the other five percent of the book-- all of it within the final few pages-- the more puzzling. It is when Penfold is out of the relationship and going through therapy, on the healing journey, where things fall apart. After the brutal, straightforward detail that comprises the bulk of the manuscript, life after the relationship is glossed over at best. Given the target audience, an argument can be made that this is, in fact, the most important section of the book, and it's neglected.
   
   How minor a nit this is to pick depends on how important the reader feels it is that Penfold instruct the abused partner in what to do after getting out of the relationship. While I have to admit that the rather gaping hole in the narrative does nag at me, after mulling it over, it seems to me that the value there is to be found in the rest of the book well outweighs the problems with the end of it. The most important question to ask when judging a book is often "does it effectively get its point across without sacrificing its artistic integrity?" During the depiction of the relationship itself, Penfold succeeds perhaps better than any other writer about abuse ever has. A landmark achievement. It probably won't top my year's-best list, but it's a pretty good chance it will show up in the top ten. **** ½



2. "Dragonslippers" is terrifying. I put the book down feeling completely drained and angry. Angry that the author had to endure what she did and angry for the decisions she made and angry that the man seemed to get away with it. But this, as the subtitle suggests, is what an abusive relationship looks like. People don't always extricate themselves from situations when they should, there isn't always a happy ending of redemption and just desserts.
   
   The spare artwork tells the story perfectly, especially in one terrifying moment when Penfold (not her real name) uses a gray wash to illustrate a dinner table blowup; my heart leaped and I wanted to rush into the story and save Penfold and thwart the evil dragon that was her boyfriend Brian. The lesson of this story, of course, is that there were no heroes and Penfold had to rescue herself; it took an impossibly long time but she does end up in a better place.
   
   I have a few minor issues with the book: one is that the font used is rather ugly. I know this sounds silly but it makes the book look like a clinic hand-out rather than a personal tale. Another quibble is that somehow the first meeting between Penfold and Brian is either deleted or was never drawn. Penfold goes to a party, sits by the pool and this big guy (Brian) grabs her and jumps in the pool as she shouts, "You again?!" Again? When was there a before? I kept looking to see if the pages were misnumbered or stuck together but no, the first glimpse of Brian is never included. That's a curious omission.
   
   Penfold's book should be read by everyone and I hope it is read by people in such situations who will recognize themselves and realize they need to do something before it's too late. A-.



3. DRAGONSLIPPERS: THIS IS WHAT AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE goes beyond most books to dissolve stereotypes. The author is a competent, middle-aged successful businesswoman and not the meek woman one thinks of as in an abusive relationship. Her romance with a handsome widower seemed idea until a pattern of lies and deception led to physical, mental and sexual abuse. Years later the author shares her story with the world, providing an unusual graphic novel story paired with a pseudonym to protect her identity.
   
   Diane C. Donovan
   California Bookwatch



4. Domestic violence is a deep, subtle and largely hidden problem in society; perhaps effecting 25% of all relationships, domestic violence revolves around various kinds of abuse which occur in an intimate or family relationship, and can occur to both men and women in various kinds of relationships.
   
   This graphic novel explores the experiences of one woman at the hand of an abusive partner. The story begins when the protagonist is in her mid 30's, and is divorced, but is a successful businesswoman. She meets a man, her future husband, who seems exuberant, successful, and full of life. But there is a dark side to him which is progressively revealed as the story moves on; manipulative, impulsive, abusive and rather horrible.
   
   The story moves over a period of several years, as the woman endures constant abuse in various from from her husband including verbal, physical and psychological abuse, marital rape, infidelity, psychological manipulation and countless instances of petty and grand cruelty to the ones who love him. Slowly she comes to realise being with the man she loves is no different from being in hell, and she leaves him and begins the long and slow process of recovery.
   
   This work is a painful insight into the trauma and suffering that abusive partners, like drug addicts or psychopaths, cause harm to everyone around them or connected to them. In the end we see the evident evil at the heart of such abuse, even if in the end we still do not understand what could possibly motivate anyone to be so senselessly cruel and heartless to what is most dear and precious to most healthy-minded people.



5. This book should be mandatory reading in high schools. I would love to see it every doctor's and therapist's waiting room. It is simply written with a profound message.

1 comments about Path to Sexual Healing, The: A Bible Study.

1. Note: this study is aimed primarily at women.

   As a survivor of childhood and adult sexual abuse, I had been through many years of counseling and therapy in various forms when I came across this Bible study. We went through the study in a small group of five women. The group dynamics were the most helpful element for me in this study.

   If you are just beginning your road to recovery, this Bible study will be helpful to you. It is very basic and somewhat lightweight. Again, I recommend a group setting which is led by a person with experience in this area, and who is further along in her recovery.

   However, if you have had many years of counseling and are in pretty good shape in terms of your recovery, you will find this Bible study rather elementary. I would recommend skipping this study for something more in-depth.

5 comments about Leaping Upon the Mountains: Men Proclaiming Victory over Sexual Child Abuse.

1. This is much different than his first book - a collection of things that survivors in recovery have found useful or helpful in their recovery. I would recommend it as a complement to Victims no Longer.



2. As a counsilor for survivors of exual abuse, I found Leaping Upon The Mountains a great follow-up to Lew's ground breaking book Victims No Longer.The clients who read it found the statements by other survivors most helpful in their own recovery.



3. This book is a "must" for male victims of childhood sexual abuse, and for those who are partners of males who were abused as children. Most the text is a compilation of information, stories, recovery techniques, insights, etc. garnered from adult males who were sexually abused as children. If you have read Mr. Lew's first Book, VICTIMS NO LONGER, you should read this one too. Recovery from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse can, and does happen, and LEAPING UPON THE MOUNTAINS is full of encouraging messages to assist in the recovery process.



4. Accounts from men read like mini stories. Inspiring to actually know how they made the leap. Wonderful to know that they made it.



5. Leaping Upon The Mountains takes survivors to the next step in recovery, picking up where Victims No Longer left off. One of the best way survivors can learn is by hearing the stories of others, and their strategies for recovery. Leaping Upon The Mountains offers an incredible wealth of information and lessons for survivors to take into their daily lives.

2 comments about Education Groups for Men Who Batter: The Duluth Model.

1. I am myself a recovering batterer. I began my process of change well over ten years ago after attending a Duluth Model program at the Center for Nonviolence in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Previously I had attended two six month long Anger Management Programs conducted by PhD Psychologists and MSW's. Today I conduct a batterers program myself using the Duluth Model outlined and explained in this book. This program has changed my life.



2. Domestic Violence is a PEOPLE problem. Not a gender issue. The Duluth Model only seeks to embarrass and blame men as if it were exclusively a male characteristic, rather than giving real help to stop abusive behavior. Nevermind that women are just as likely to initiate violence against a man. Programs that use the Duluth Model are only creating an adversarial dynamic between men & women. It clearly reflects the feminist IDEOLOGY of male oppression towards women. So there is obviously a heavy bias.

2 comments about Don't Tell: The Sexual Abuse of Boys.

1. "Nearly one male in six has been the victim of sexual abuse during childhood or adolescence--and yet this abuse remains a taboo subject, even among victims. In Don't Tell, Michel Dorais gives the victims a voice, providing a sensitive analysis of their traumas and self-questioning, and offering strategies for coping.
   "Don't Tell examines the effects of sexual abuse on the emotional and sexual life of men, including their sense of self and their personal relationships. Using the first-hand accounts of victims Dorais shows that certain reactions are specific to male victims of abuse as they attempt to preserve a sense of physical integrity and masculinity. He also provides innovative strategies for both prevention and treatment that will be of use to those who have suffered abuse as well as to their families and all those who are trying to help them--spouses, friends, social workers, and therapists."



2. I have a very good friend who was sexually abused for years, and have read a number of books on the subject. Some good, some bad. Why I liked this book, is: 1) it talks about specific cases, the fall out, and what recovery came about 2) helps understand the emotions within an abused man, 3) by understanding more about what happened, it has brought my closer to my friend.
   
   This book is recommended, although I wish it hadn't needed to be written and that all of these kids are getting abused.....it is terrible, and heartbreaking.