5 comments about Transformers Armada - Best Battles.

1. Urgh... after taking an interest in the TransFormers Armada toy line, I was really hoping the corresponding cartoon show would be at least halfway decent. But after checking out this collection of four eppies, I was rather appalled by the lameness of it all. Now I'm not sayin' that the original Gen One series that I grew up watchin' was a high-quality production by any stretch of the imagination... but it's far more watchable than (yet just about as corny as) this almost blasphemous "update"! If it isn't the overly chipper demeanor every person and robot on the show exudes in spades (including the Decepticons) in most of the non-battle scenes that perturbs me, it's those freakin' kids who are always gettin' themselves caught in the middle of one firefight or another. It came to a point where I was prayin' they and their cutesy Mini-Con companions would be put outta their misery by a few "stray" laser blasts! And I swear to God, if I hear one of those ritalin-deprived punks utter "Wow!" whenever they uncover something unusual or spout off in wide-eyed wonder how "wicked-cool" something is, I'm gonna go postal at the next BotCon I attend! Sheesh, didn't they learn their lesson from the post-movie Gen One series when they threw Spike's bratty kid Daniel into the mix?! Guess not...

   Then there's the Pokemon-like cuteness the Mini-Con `bots exude, which makes me a bit nauseous in spite of the fact that I've collected a few of the Mini-Con toys and found them kinda cool. Speakin' of which, doesn't the whole Mini-Con thing that the factions are fighting over seem like it was ripped off from the Pokemon series? After all, one side or another has "gotta catch `em all" to gain the upper hand and attain ultimate power. However, judging from the handful of eppies on this platter, both sides have collected enough of the runty little `bots to maintain a true balance of power-- a stalemate as it were.

   Speaking of the handful of eppies: seein' as how this platter was touted as the "volume one" by more'n a few online retailers, I was expecting it to contain the first four shows of the series. No such luck, I'm afear'd-the first show is eppies 2 (Metamorphosis), and followed by eppies 3 (Base), 9 (Confrontation), and 21 (Decisive Battle). Needless to say, if you're expecting to see the very beginning of Transformers Armada, you're S.O.L. with this particular offering. This unfortunate revelation has led me to believe that Rhino put this out in order to rake in a few quick bucks from the "I-Just-Gotta-Have-It" UberTransFans before they release the entire series in box set format some time in the future. Trust me on this; I've been burned by the ol' "DVD double-dip ploy" (see my guide on this annoying phenomenon at www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/guides/guide-display/-/3CVFIEG84F2PF/ref=cm_aya_av.sylt_sylt/002-9099822-8864853) enough times to see it comin' from a mile away...

   On the upside, I gotta admit the animation is a fair sight more detailed and painstakingly rendered than the relatively primitive stuff seen Gen One show, especially the transformation sequences. Another nice touch is how closely the look and design of the `toon robots match the look & design of their toy counterparts, which is something that was rarely ever seen in the Gen One series. However, I'm not too hip with the minimalist approach the animators took with many of the battle scenes. Now I know this is sortuva given in the giant robot genre of Japanese anime, but... do we really hafta see the combatants stare each other down for five seconds and then exchanging corny taunts for an additional ten seconds before they actually commence with the fisticuffs, and then cut to the opponents grappling against speed-line/blur backgrounds for half the battle? They also gotta give up tryin' to combine CGI animation with cel animation until they find a way to get both elements to mesh together in a convincing fashion; the smattering of scenes that used both types of `toonage didn't look right...

   `Late




2. Aramda season one sucked!!!! the series only got good during the end of the second season,I probebly will end up getting the box set but other than that I won't buy this single disc...if you like annoying BRATS standing around watching robots barely hitting each other thanks to political correctness then you would like this disc that doesn't even go anywhere..4 episodes that tell the same story get's kind of dull after awhile if you like gen1 and beastwars you'll hate this one,except the second season...stay away from this and get the box set when it's released..



3. I am a big transformers fan. I've been following the Transformers since Generation 1. I am a decent Transformers collectors too. In fact, I own more than 60 bots and all videos that are available on DVD. However, I have to say this one is REALLY horrible.

   This DVD includes 4 Armada episodes:
   * Metamorphosis (Episode 2)
   * Base (Episode 3)
   * Confrontation (Episode 9)
   * Decisive Battle (Episode 21)

   First, in most people's opinion, Armada is THE worst Transformers series. The story line is dull and the character deisngs are also bad. However, I saw many, if not all, Armada episodes before I bought this DVD, so I kind of expected this.

   Then, it comes the REAL problems of the DVD: the sequence of the episodes and the selection of the episodes.

   The sequence is extremely odd. Well, what IS the sequence? It is NOT the first 4 episodes of the Armada series, instead, it contains episodes 2, 3, 9, and 21. It seems like these four episodes are just chosen by random. At least, I couldn't find out the correlations between them.

   The selection is also very weird. In the TV series, episodes 1 - 3 was a mini-series. However, the disk only contains episodes 2 and 3. So the story starts without a real beginning. In fact, if you have never seen Armada before, you will be wondering what's going on. Well, the story line should be easy enough to figure out, but you'll still lose a lot of the story line.

   I bought the DVD only for the sake of having a completed Transformers DVD collection. I really hope Rhino releases some sort of boxed set which is a REAL collection. As of now, buy it ONLY if you are a HUGE fan and want to keep your collection completed. After all, you should be able to get it between $8 - $9, it may not a big deal to waste the money just to keep the collection completed. Otherwise, forget about this one.




4. As an avid Generation 1 Transformers fan I must say that I am extremely disappointed with Armada and its successor Energon and must fully concur with all of the reviewers who have written prior to this entry.

   Armada and Energon's plot are terrible at best. This is the first time since I watched Generation 1 and Beast Wars that I hoped that the Decepticons would destroy and obliterate the Autobots and their human sidekicks.
   
   The humans in Armada and Energon are annoying and hold no special purpose. In comparison, Spike, Sparkplug and Chip from Generation 1 were not put in every episode in an attempt to try to help the Autobots. In many episodes in Generation 1, we did not see any human counterparts that played a pivotal part in deciding the victor of the battle between the Autobots and Decepticons. However, in Armada and Energon the Autobots cannot win without their human companions.

   I disagree somewhat with the voice casting in Armada and Energon. In Generation 1 we had great voice actors for the Autobots and Decepticons. For example, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Chris Latta, Neil Ross, Michael Bell, Scatman Caruthers, Casey Kasem and other greats portrayed my heros that I have watched growing up. In Armada, I am pleased with the voice casting of Megatron (David Kayle), Optimus Prime (Gary Chalk), Hot Shot, Starscream, and Demolisher. Mr. Kayle has done an extremely wonderful job since he started with Megatron back in Beast Wars and the same complement is extended to Mr. Chalk, but the other voices are sub par at best. For example, Ironhide in Energon sounds like Carlos...ridiculous.
   
   Real Transformers should be ashamed of the latest incarnations of the Transformers story line. I have not seen a suitable Transformers story since Beast Wars and Beast Machines and odds are that I never will again.

   Now to the DVD review, first off I would like to congratulate Rhino for releasing box sets of Transformers Generation 1, Jem, and G.I. Joe. However, they completely destroyed the credibility of the Armada DVD's such as this release. For one, the DVD jumps from one episode to the next as opposed to going through the episodes in a sequential order, not that it would matter to me what order they put the episodes in because they were all bad.

   In conclusion, the best thing about the Armada release is the cheap price. This DVD is selling for a cheap price because the Armada and Energon television show is a cheap product.
   To the executives at Rhino STOP releasing Armada and Energon DVD's and release Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light also done by our friends at Sunbow and contains the same voice actors and writers who appeared in Generation 1 Transformers, Jem and G.I. Joe. Rhino please complete the Sunbow dynasty.




5. I really don't know what to say, other than this Armada garbage really sucks.

   I started to follow the Transformers mythos in 1984, and have enjoyed every series I've come apon. Be it the original Transformers, Scramble City, Head Masters, Master Force, Victory, Zone, Beast Wars and Beast Machines. Well, that's not the case with this Armada crap. I don't know where to begin a list of everything that's wrong with this abomination.

   Mixing cell animation with CGI animation and effects is a bad start and garantees that "cheap aesthetic" that we keep seeing more and more of these days. The characters are annoying at best (those that have some sort of hint of a personality anyway)and the writing is embarassingly bad.

   As some other reviewer has stated, the human characters in this crap fest are particulally revolting. There's actually this fat kid in the group who goes on about being hungry all the time. The only lines he ever says during an episode are "I'm SOOO hungry" or "Who wants waffles" or something else to that effect. Yes people, the writing is THAT BAD.

   Bland writing and bland voice acting, combined with repetitive CGI polluted animation and bad techno music would be the only words that come to mind if I were to describe this pathetic incarnation of my beloved Transformers.

   I'm giving this Rhino release 1 star, because at least the disc itself played correctly on my DVD player.

   Yuck!

No comments about Futurekick.

5 comments about Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - Special Collector's Edition.

1. Although this movie has a weird title, this movie is a side-splitter. I watched it one night while I was trying to go to sleep & ended up watching the whole thing. It's a must see!!!



2. B movie cult clasic about just what it says, an attack of killer tomatoes!!
   I guess ya just had to be there!!! LOL



3. I don't understand most of these reviews here. The tomato wars actually happened. Pretending this was all just some lame "movie" does not bode well for the future of big business in America. Let's learn from history people, lest we be doomed to repeat it. Think!



4. I bought this for a walk down memory lane for my husband's birthday. He saw this movie when he was a teenager, and remembered the theme song, and sings it often. Nostalgia was so much better than the movie. I really regret buying the DVD because he remembered loving the movie, but reality sunk in hard and his memories were shattered with each ridiculous scene.
   
   So...keep your memories and save your money.



5. This movie is great. In fact, you have to watch it several times to catch all the humor. I'm sure the movie only cost $25,000 to produce as the special effects are laughable; I'm sure it was intended that way. We've seen this movie several times and still catch things we didn't see the other times. Just a silly funny movie.

5 comments about Dark Harvest 2.

1. You can read the other reviews of this film. I have nothing to add, but wanted to cast my vote for terrible. Wish I had read them before renting.



2. I have to say the DVD cover lured me in. The design is great, although there are no killer scarecrows in the film, pity. I am giving the maker of this film some credit because he managed to capture autumn so well on film. The shots of the corn fields, the autumn trees, the fall wind, and the dreary skies are great. Plus, Halloween is my favorite time of the year, and he captured the mood perfectly. I would tell people who are big fans of this time of the year to at least look at it for the scenery. The 2 girls lost in the field were just terrible actors, and I agree with one reviewer who said the 'screaming into the camera' part was so annoying. Yet any film taking place during fall and Halloween in a cornfield has my attention.



3. Alright! This was just stupid. It has some dad looking for his daughters in a maze cornfield. That's basically what it shows through the whole movie. Didn't even finish it, it was that bad.



4. 0 STAR:
   For most of the first 45 minutes of this movie,it was about a father looking for his 2 little girls in a corn field. Was this the movie producers way of trying to make a movie as fast as possible? It seems that they gathered some people in a local neighborhood,including the little kids and made a cheap movie. And on top of all of this I didnt even see one scarecrow. Listen dude movie producer,a corn field cannot be scary without scarecrows!!!!! I could no longer take it anymore and I fast forward searched the rest of this boring movie and was upset that I didn't do it sooner. The first Dark Harvest movie was actually very good and it showed some scary looking scarecrows. I dodn't notice any scarecrows in this movie and I thought the cover of this dvd misleaded me. Horrible movie,not worth the $10 I paid.



5. Bought this video at a movie store that was going out of business for around 49 cents. Not at all worth the 49 cents to watch it! My home videos of my dog, is much more entertaining. The cover has nothing to do with the film. I'm so glad it's over...I'm giving it to my sister-inlaw, which I don't really care for very much. Hopefully she will know I don't like her after she watches it.

5 comments about Behind Enemy Lines.

1. Is it realistic? Very little of course resembles how a downed pilot would be rescued in this scnario. Based on a true story that has the typical Hollywood wash and rinse cycle making it "Last Action Hero" bullet proof. Still forsaking the hero being shot to pieces, I still like it. Most of it seems real, and our hero isn't perfect by any means. The support cast is great and you love and hate them accordingly. The scenes are so well photographed that they actually add some reality to what otherwise would be to over the top. That and Hackman's and Wilson's performances are great. Good action and music make it at least worth a rental. Hey are you going to tell me all those old John Wayne WWII movies were realistic? Hardly, but we love them nonetheless. If you enjoyed this be sure to catch "Blackhawk Down" and "Bat 21". I personally snapped up this good quality DVD with great replayability.



2. High octane action/war flick. Makes you proud of the Red, White & Blue and what it represents.
   And it's also fun seeing the bad guys get their comeupponce. Surprised to discover this was the
   director John Moore's maiden effort, because he handles the action sequences like a pro.
   
   And Gene Hackman? What can you say about Mr. Hackman that hasn't been said before? Excellent.
   As always. This artist is a treasure.



3. This is a good to very good film. Cast is very good. Visuals are great on Blu-Ray.



4. I first saw this movie on DVD the first time several years ago and then when I saw that it had come to Blu-Ray, I knew that I had to buy it. I was kind of disappointed with the picture quality, but then again I was only using 1080i due to a problem with my monitor. If I can manage to find an HDMI-DVI cable that works in 1080p I might post another comment in here so stay tuned. A few scenes were awesome in high definition especially the ones where the F-18 is being pursued by a couple of SAMS (surface to air missiles.) The audio quality on the other hand was outstanding! During the scene with the gunshots where the main pilot gets executed by the Serbian army, the shot was so LOUD I felt like I was standing right there in the field. My friend Mark was watching this movie with me (my first day playing Blu-Ray discs) and he said WHOAA with a capital W.! He said that he couldn't follow the story very well, and I was like, "Dude how could you not?" Basic search and rescue plot with a good story to boot. I believe this movie was based on a true story that happened in the late 90's if I'm not mistaken...



5. This is a one time rental movie and thats about it. I will say that the sound effects are very cool and even better when in surround.

No comments about Whatever It Takes.

5 comments about Dr. Dolittle (Full Screen Edition).

1. Just a note to those who were uncomfortable watching this film with their children; movies have ratings for a reason. This movie is rated PG-13, which tells you up front that it has content that is considered inappropriate for children. In this case, it is crude humor.
   What I don't understand is why they made a movie with a story line aimed at a young audience, and then inclduded content that earned it a rating that recommends that a young audience shouldn't see it.



2. Dr. Dolittle is perhaps one of the funniest Eddie Murphy films around. Let's be honest- those of you who own dogs and cats, you've probably wondered what it would be like if they could communicate with you. Obviously they can't talk to you, but animals can feel so HUMAN sometimes, that sometimes you believe you can actually understand what they want and need. That's what makes this movie so funny. A variety of famous comedians do the voice overs for many of the animals in the film, and most of the time the movie maintains a humorous pace. I was laughing on several occasions, especially with the dog that Eddie accidentally hit with his car that triggered the whole "He can talk to animals" storyline (again).
   
   The pigeons were also funny, who were communicating with each other like real husbands and wives who don't get along, and they actually went to Eddie Murphy for some kind of marriage counseling-type thing (I kid you not!) I also enjoyed the tree owl who had a stick stuck to his wings, and the drunk monkey. I think my favorite scene in the film was when word got around throughout the animal kingdom that Eddie could understand and help animals, and so Eddie opened the door to a variety of different animals storming into his place, demanding help since Eddie was the famous animal doctor. It's really a strange movie, but I had a good time laughing and enjoyed just about everything.
   
   As you can probably guess, Eddie Murphy was the only person who could understand the animals, so whenever an animal talked to him and he talked back, the people around him were looking at him like he was crazy! That's another thing that made the movie so funny. A solid film that's funny from beginning to end.



3. In watching Dr. Dolittle 3 I found the movie completely entertaining and delightful. I recommend this movie to all families, young and old alike, we all need laughter and this one was missing Eddie Murphy, this young actress surely captivated the show.



4. i thought this was a hilarious movie, Eddie Murphy plays Dr. Dolittle who discovers he has the ability to talk to animals.Hilarity ensues.



5. what else can you say when you turn off the movie 40 minutes into it? the opening was funny, when he was a kid getting in trouble for talking to the dog too much. but as an adult, murphy's performance just seemed silly and the animals are all these jaded modern types. and murphy as a doctor? come on.. it didn't offend me, it just bored. he should have cleaned it up a bit and made it for the kiddies. for adults, this is a waste of time.

5 comments about Escape to Witch Mountain.

1. The original Escape To Witch Mountain (1975) is one of my favorite non-animated Disney movies and also one of my favorite movies about children with magical powers, the other one being Matilda but I think I like this a little bit more. It is about a brother and sister named Tony and Tia played by Ike Eisenmann and Kim Richards who go to live in an orphanage after their adoptive parents die. Tony and Tia have special powers and after a creepy guy discovers their secret he pretends to be their uncle and takes them to live with his boss who is an even bigger creep who wants to use them for his evil plans but they escape with their adorable cat Winky and befriend a grouchy but lonely man named Jason O'Day who helps them get away from the creeps but a big chase ensues and Jason helps them learn the truth about who they are and why they have special powers. Kim Richards, Ike Eisenmann and Eddie Albert are all wonderful and I highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes Disney movies and movies about kids with special powers. Kim Richard's sister Kyle Richards (Alicia Edwards on Little House on The Prairie) has a small don't blink or you will miss me roll as a 3 year old Tia when she and Tony were rescued from the water after the accident at sea. This movie is a gem and I wish that Disney would put it out On DVD!!



2. This is a great little story about...well I'm not going to tell you, I much rather see you buy it and watch it for yourself. It is a great film, and old disney classic, this is what movie's are all about, it has special effects that were considered impossible back them, but they pulled them off, no fancy computers of CGI and all that stuff, just good ol' fashion moviemaking at it's finest. I treasure this film and it is one of my favorite Disney movies. I miss films like this! Great great family film and very entertaining to watch, kids adore it!



3. My first exposure to the siblings from Witch Mountain was years ago, in watching the sequel Return from Witch Mountain. I loved the film, and was thrilled to discover an earlier film shortly after, Escape to Witch Mountain, which introduces us to Tony and Tia as young children.
   I haven't read the book on which this film is based, nor am I likely to, so my review is completely unbiased.
   Tony and Tia are two young children whose foster parents have just died. The film begins with their arrival at an orphanage, and it isn't long before we're shown just how different these two children are.
   A run-in with the district bully quickly earns them a reputation for 'being a couple of weirdos', but it is in saving the life of a man who would otherwise have been possibly killed in a car accident that their adventures really start.
   Claimed as niece and nephew by the very man they saved, they are taken to live in the fortress home of mega-rich Aristotle Bolt, who has been told of the children's gifts and typically wants to exploit them for his own gain.
   It doesn't take Tony and Tia long to figure out Bolt's agenda and, after hearing plans to have them locked away in an island tower, they run away with the help of a rogue stallion that no one else was able to tame.
   From there, the children soon come across grumpy nomad Jason O'Day, who reluctantly takes them in after they beg him for help.
   The rest of the film is probably fairly predictable, given your average Disney plots, but still enjoyable nonetheless. Of course there's going to be a 'happily ever after' (at least until the next movie) but the fun is in seeing how they get there. There are still a few surprises in store before the finish, including an escapee bear, a sheriff who learns the tango the hard way, and a chopper pilot who gets a flying lesson like never before.
   Escape to Witch Mountain is thoroughly enjoyable, as is its sequel, and are even better for having Ike Eisemann and Kim Richards play the main characters of Tony and Tia in both films.
   On another, distantly related note, Disney did produce another Witch Mountain vignette style show some time later, called Beyond Witch Mountain. The story involved Tony and Tia leaving the Witch Mountain community to find their Uncle Bene's long lost grandson. Bolt and O'Day were both along for the ride, but this was not a patch on the two proper movies, and really shouldn't have been made. Especially since it was meant to be just recently after Tony and Tia found their way to Witch Mountain in the first place, and it portrayed Uncle Bene as dying. (Anyone who has seen Return from Witch Mountain knows full well that Uncle Bene was alive and well in that film, and Tony and Tia were bordering on teenhood, by then)
   At the end of this particular episode, Tony and Tia also decide to stay away from Witch Mountain, and go with O'Day to continue searching for survivors. As anyone who has watched the two movies would know, their 'holiday' in the second film was supposed to be their first trip away from the mountain community since their original rescue from the clutches of Aristotle Bolt.
   I'm aware that some people have been searching for this particular installment. My advice is, don't bother. It does not fit in with the sequence of films, and does not even have the benefit of the original child actors.
   Stick with the excellent and unsurpassed Escape to Witch Mountain, and Return from Witch Mountain. These are fantastic films, and worth every cent.



4. Escape To Witch Mounatin is an awesome movie. I tried to read the book the movie got its idaes from but I just couldnt get into it but I love the movie!
   
   Kim Richards is a very good actress and very pretty (I wish I and hair like hers,a nd Iake Eisenman is a a good actor and cute too and I also thought that Kim's little sister Kyle was good too in her brief rool as little Tia and she is pretty.
   
   I have the movie on DVD and I really like it and I recommend it!
   
   FYI: in real life Kim and Kyle Richards are the aunts of Paris and Nicki Hilton. Kim and Kyle's sister Kathy is Paris and Nickie's mother.



5. I first watched this movie when I was around 10. I absolutely adored it, as did my two sisters who were about 5 and 6 years old. It is a story about 2 orphans, Tony and Tia who after losing not only their parents, but also their wonderful foster parents, go to live in an orphanage. They are known as freaks there because of their strange powers to do some things like read each others thoughts and pick up objects without using their bodies. An evil man named Mr.Deranean (sp?) witnesses their powers first hand and tells his evil boss Mr.Bolt about them. The boss tells Mr. Deranean to claim to be the kids' uncle so that he can adopt them and then bring them to Bolt's mansion to help Bolt out financially ( as if he needed it!). Of course the kids eventually escape with the help of a sweet (although a bit grumpy) old man named Jason. He helps them find their real family that live on Witch Mountain. My favorite scene as a kid was when Jason and the children are in the woods happily drinking hot chocolate and Jason tells them about his past and the children comfort him and then Jason learns to love the kids as if they were his own. I also love the scene when the kids do an amazing puppet show without using their hands. All they use is Tony's magic harmonica.
   This movie is definitely outdated and if I hadn't seen it as a kid, I would probably think it was the dorkiest thing I ever saw. However, I still like watching it today. This movie is safe for kids. Even though it has to do with ESP, it isn't really spooky and I don't think parents need to worry their kids will start getting into weird philosophies or experimenting with "the other side". It's more about kids rising above their troubled circumstances and helping others by loving and forgiving them.

5 comments about Shakiest Gun in the West.

1. I think this is a great Don Knotts film. He acts so utterly stupid and pathetic in this film but it's done in a way that's so utterly hillarious. I had lots of laughs all through the movie. Barbara Rhoades is the straight one in the pair and she does a great job as well. The looks on her face during the times she has to deal with Knotts are funny in themselves.

   If you like silly slap stick humor I think you'll enjoy this movie.




2. Re-makes are not always good, this one is great! First Bob Hope did this in Paleface, now Don Knotts takes over the roll with his own slant on the character.

   Unless you own the Laserdisc or saw it at the theaters, this will be your first experience of the full impact of this WIDESCREEN movie. Pans and cuts seen on television, or the previous VHS tape, will be replaced with single shots that include everything from side to side.

   THE GHOST AND MR.CHICKEN was Don's only other WIDESCREEN movie for Universal.




3. If you liked Don Knotts in The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964), The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966), The Reluctant Astronaut (1967), you might like him in this silly western-comedy. A Philadelphia man graduates from denistry and tries to head out to California. He ends up in the wild west, in Big Spring.
   The idea in this town is how are the Indians getting the guns. barbara Rhodes (NBC past serial, Generations) is just a scamp who tries to make the goodies on Don Knotts. He's on his way west and she intends to go along with him to get there as well. Even if it means forcing the man to marry her.
   Not the best of Don Knotts films, but might be better than taking a sleeping pill.
   Also in the cast: Ruth McDevitt, Pat Morita and William Christopher.



4. The Shakiest Gun in the West is yet another classic Don Knotts comedy from the late 1960s. This time around, Knotts plays a newly certified dentist who decides to spread oral hygiene throughout the wild, wild West; after all, Philadelphia is already covered up with dentists - there are at least seven already plying their trade there. Jesse Heywood is a little wiry guy, of course, and his courage is just as shaky as his gun-wielding hands, but he manages to make a great big splash out on the frontier. Right after being bamboozled by a merchant and his Chinese assistant (played by Pat Morita, although I didn't realize it was him until I saw the credits), a fiery little redheaded filly comes to him with a toothache, and before he knows what is happening he's a married man. He doesn't know that Penelope "Bad Penny" Cushings (played by the vivacious Barbara Rhoades) is only marrying him because it's her only way to hitch a ride on the wagon train leaving town, nor does he know that his new beloved is a wanted cattle rustler and thief who agreed to help the government find out who is smuggling guns to the Indians in exchange for a pardon. Events play out in such a way that Jesse becomes BMOF (that's Big Man on the Frontier), famous for his shooting and Indian-killing skills. That whole wedding night thing doesn't really work out the way he planned, though.
   
   Naturally, our supposed hero has to rise to the challenge and prove himself in the end, and then we learn how the West was really won - dentistry, of course. I should note the fact that Don Knotts is forced to don women's clothing at one point, and you know that is bound to be funny. There's also a great scene featuring Heywood drunkenly lamenting his long list of failures in life. Knotts is joined by some other familiar faces: along with Pat Morita, look for William Christopher (M*A*S*H's Father Mulcahy) in a small role, while Uncle Festus himself (Jackie Coogan) stars as one of the gun-smuggling desperadoes.
   
   The Shakiest Gun in the West isn't my favorite Don Knotts movie, but there is a lot of Barney Fife in this shaky gunfighter, and the film is consistently funny from start to finish. It is also, needless to say, true family entertainment which can be safely enjoyed by the young as well as the old. Don Knotts is truly a national treasure.



5. It's easy to overlook the societal importance of "Shakiest". Most academics consider it a vapid re-make of a "superior" Bob Hope film. However my consensus is that Hope's movie simply Overemphasized the comedic aspects of the story and downplayed the sociological importance and mythical underpinnings of it. I don't fault Hope since his comedic talents are such that only his fully grasping of the genre and paradigm in its epistomological sense would allow him the proper frame/reference to "dim" his comedic talents enough to let the nuances of the story's deeper meanings emerge. Not so with Don Knotts. His performance is neo-subtle in the sense that he draws attention to the pre-Scorsesian templates of story entwined with yet seperated from, meaning, by overexagerating Hope's performance to a Vonnegutian level. Example; his performance as Painless Jesse in the film's opening sequences underscore the relationship of Man the Creator with Man the Destroyer and Man the Dentist. In Barb Rhoades we see an equal but lesser voice representing tenets of Post-modern imperialism as well as Proto-Schwarzeneggerian grandiosity. Yet, it is Knotts, initially passive who redeems himself in the end, triumphing over Rhoades and all she symbolizes as well as echoing the pan-universal theme of the hero transformed by "plumbing" his own depths. This is shown particularily in the mine scene, where we read "mine" as "Subconscious Id". Simply put, not sense "The Incredible Mr. Limpett" has Knotts blended Transformational Mythology with Wellesian Cinematography and Jerrylewisian slapstick. BRAVO!
   EDIT; This review is just for fun,guys. No need to take it seriously.

5 comments about Don't Torture a Duckling.

1. Italian director Lucio Fulci is rarely given the credit he deserves. Fulci was a director of great utility, who traversed generic boundaries regularly before he became firmly associated with the horror genre. His final gory step into the horror genre with "Zombi 2" was as much the result of economic imperatives and producer influence as it was a conscious decision on Fulci's part. These films were marked by an ambivalence towards conventional narrative patterns, which makes his 1972 effort "Don't Torture a Duckling" all the more exceptional. This film is as tightly plotted and efficiently constructed as any giallo film, but with its undertones of peasant superstition, the supernatural and witchcraft, places it firmly within the thematic universe of the director. This is giallo Fulci style and the concessions he makes to the conventions of this form are purely within the remit of iconography. This is a giallo marked by a particularly unsettling atmosphere of hypocrisy and perversion (one only need look toward a truly shocking scene in which a young boy of 12 is prick teased by a naked Barbara Bouchet). This is further augmented into the white washed walls of this rural northern Italian city, and its superstitious villagers, who aren't above a bit of chain whipping vigilante action. Fulci invests a great deal more in the procedures of the police, but ultimately the resolution is arrived at by amateur detectives, who represent both modernity and bourgeois society. The murders of innocent children, intriguingly, are not due to perverse motives, but instead an idealistic religious conviction which sees the modern world as a haven of vices which can only corrupt the innocence of youth. Fulci shows the negative side of both modern Italy and its rural counterpart. By showing that both are marked by ignorance and arrogance, Fulci seems to offer a particularly nihilistic vision of mankind.
   
   
   
   This DVD re-issue by Blue Underground is excellent value for money. The picture quality is very good for a film that has been mishandled and distributed badly for decades. This is a must buy for anyone interested in European horror, not only is it an exemplary giallo, but also Fulci's most rounded cohesive and enjoyable pictures.



2. Another great classic from the master of extreme horror. This giallo tale is about a mad-man(or woman)roaming the Italian countryside murdering little boys. It is not by any means his goriest or most f****d up but for the time the child murders and anti-catholic message were unheard of. There are a couple of cool special effects scenes and it is not completely devoid of gore, especially one scene that is reminiscent of "The Beyond" (the cliff scene is cool too) and can definitely see the start of a gory career for the maestro. The other great thing about this movie is the music is done by Riz Ortilani, the same man who made the excellent music for "Cannibal Holocaust". If your a giallo fan or a Fulci fan this is a must have. FULCI LIVES!



3. I haven't spent much time watching giallos, not for any particular reason really; I just haven't got around to them yet. I decided to start (again) with Lucio Fulci's "Don't Torture a Duckling." This is a rare film that I believe Fulci haters will tend to enjoy,
   
   In a small village in southern Italy, young preadolescent boys are turning up dead from strangulation. Evidence points to a number of possible suspects, especially the local "witch," Martiara (Florinda Bolkan), whose voodoo practices and possible insanity make her a likely candidate. But what about Patrizia (Barbara Bouchet), the bored city girl hiding out after a drug scandal, who now passes the time by flaunting her naked body in front of children? The local Catholic Church, headed by young Don Alberto (The Psychic's Marc Porel) and his mother, Aurelia (Irene Papas), tries to keep the population under control, but even the local police are baffled by the case. A reporter from the north, Andrea (Tomas Milian), comes to investigate and recruits Patrizia to discover some genuinely ugly truths about the quiet provincial town.
   
   There really isn't much gore except for two scenes; that of a woman being beaten with a chain and a man scraping his face down the side of a cliff (ouch!). This is probably my favorite Lucio Fulci film being that I did not enjoy The House By the Cemetery and Zombi 2 (25th Anniversary Special Edition 2-Disc Set) I enjoyed the acting, especially the man who played the priest, who is a dead ringer for Orlando Bloom (just in looks, though, not in lack of acting skill, thank goodness!). The rest of the cast did an excellent job as well, even the children.
   
   This is a disturbing film, but not the typical slasher flick. Since it is a giallo, it is more murder-mystery than horror. If you're a fan of Italian horror and Fulci I would say to watch this movie, The Italian title is "Non si sevizia un paperino," which literally translates to "Don't Torture Donald Duck." Most people assume the name was changed to Don't Torture a Duckling because of licensing issues. A small Donald Duck shows up at one of the bodies although I still fail to see how this was enough to name the movie. I like to give extra thanks to Dave K. and M. for giving me that second push on Fulci because if it wasn't for them I would of givin up on this director a long time ago.



4. This 1972 Italian giallo was not as intriguing as "Lizard in a Woman's Skin." The killer's identity may have been shocking in the seventies but not today. Who else could it have been? This person was closer to the boys than any other. The killer's excuse for murdering the young boys was rather lame. The acting, however, was great. Florinda Balkin as the gypsy witch was superb. The scenery was awesome. There was definitely a comparison made between the poverty stricken, medieval homes of the village and the ultra-modern highway nearby. The scenery was reflective of the villager's mindsets; they were still living in the midst of past superstitions. I did enjoy this movie more than Lucio Fulci's occult gorefests such as "Zombie" or "City of the Living Dead." I don't consider it on the same level as Dario Argento's early giallos.



5. Italian master filmaker in extreme gore and horror Lucio Fulci, experimented in this 1972 disturbing and tense "Giallo" thriller, a different aproach of collective fear, madness and religious censorship, a work that was actually his best effort before he turned his attention to atmospheric supernatural horror, zombie nauseous imagery and shocking graphic violence, in classics like "Zombi", "city of the living dead" or his all-time masterpiece "The beyond".
   
   When several young boys are brutally massacred in a southern small italian village, the locals decide to take bloody justice in their own hands: Consumed by fear and ignorance, the supersticious villagers turn against the obvious suspects with violent rage, and weird misfits fall under the vicious attack of the linching mob. When the police is overwhelmed, a nosy reporter comes to town to investigate the murders, and soon became curious about a young priest and his influence over the villagers, who censors the reading to prevent the corruption of their souls. What continues was an unseen morbid tale of sexual desire and creepy explorations of moral values.
   
   With the usual tight budget and time that 70's italian horror movies suffered from, Fulci accomplished a tense, disturbing and gruesome story that actually manages to turn the Italian rural provinces in a hellish scenario, with a cerebral and absorbing tale of superstition and ignorance, violence and revenge. The moody and dense photography of Sergio D'offizi transforms the beautiful italian landscapes into menacing spaces of despair, and the haunting and macabre music score of Riz Ortolani gets under the viewer's skin.
   
   The most effective thriller scripted and directed by Fulci himself, never actually reached the status that deserved, but for fans of Fulci this is the most popular and frightening work. The threatening and creepy atmosphere involving the villager's superstition, religion and dark magic, adding to the macabre situations like the early highlight of a linching mob assasination sequence, the endless riddles of the tense story and the disturbing encounters with the gore imagery, was a serious demarcation of Fulci over the world of horror cinema: With the minimum resources, a great talented filmaker can create a whole universe of fear, thrills and chills.
   
   George A. Romero's "Night of the living dead" was the most outstanding example of an "accidental" masterpiece that described with cheap effectiveness the very end of the world, with only few shots of outer lanscapes, an old house and amateur crew and extras, staged media reports on radio and tv, plastic special effects and great passion and imagination. Now, if Romero could do such a monumental achievement that changed the vision of horror cinema forever, Why the masters of the B-horror movie's style of the 70's, including the grade-A student Tobe Hoper with the milestone "The Texas chainsaw massacre", can't be considered genius as well?
   
   The answer is obvious: Classic italian horror filmakers are the very school of flawed but astonishing achievements with less-than-much budget, but with a cappacity for creating surrealistic ambients and a weird abstraction of fear that borders dementia, an incredible talent that Romero himself wish he had. With all due respect.