3 comments about Are You Happy?: A Childhood Remembered.

1. Emily Fox Gordon may well become known as The Great American Memoirist for ARE YOU HAPPY? A Childhood Remembered, and her previous memoir MOCKINGBIRD YEARS. To read these books is to spend welcome time in the warm and brilliant company of a deeply insightful writer.
   ARE YOU HAPPY? invites us into the compelling story of Gordon's childhood that is at once shockingly personal and universal. She reveals a psychic landcape, an event in our cultural consciousness, a deliciously discerning expose of family life, the fifties, parental love and failure. Her awareness of herself and the world is so evolved that the book unfolds as an exquisite map of individual consciousness, the "socialization" of that, and the brave refusal to limit one's imaginative life and primordial communion with the world.
   She writes so well that I read many of her sentences over and over to savor them, and in fact savored the entire book. Gordon has a true gift for writing of profound emotional conflict with empathic clarity. This is a book I value most of all for its wry introspection and moments of awareness that explode in revelation. It's not only about a childhood but the self in all its pain and luminosity.



2. This wonderful book tranforms incidents that we can all identify with into brilliantly captured observations about life. I am struck by the book's honesty and Ms. Gordon's ability to inject an aura of mystery and intrigue into the incidents she recalls with such lucidity. It's a great read, very moving in its simplicity and yet filled with Proustian overtones, giving the book its strength and power.



3. In the post-Frey era, it's refreshing to discover a memoir that
   reflects the ways in which memory really works. Are You Happy? delights with loose chronology and fleeting images, like the balloon glimpsed after the child has let go of the string. Yet the book is grounded by scrupulous attention to detail, with attending sounds, tastes, and fragrances that fully realize each hovering miniature. Here, one understands the author carefully scrutinized the past not to recite a history, but to evoke and describe a state of being, embracing the privilege, and one of the goals, of the memoirist: to make art of the past, as would a painter, or a musician improvising on a theme.
   Highly recommended.

No comments about Up on the Rim.

1 comments about Finding My Way: The Autobiography of an Optimist.

1. Finding My Way: The Autobiography Of An Optimist is the self-told life story of Evelyn Stefansson Nef, a young woman born in Brooklyn 1913, who became a master craftswoman in the specialized art of creating marionettes; a skilled editor, researcher and writer; and who in her late fifties studied psychotherapy and became qualified to administer to patients. A particularly well written autobiography, Finding My Way presents a most remarkable and varied life, vividly and memorably narrated.

5 comments about When Katie Wakes: A Memoir.

1. What a brave woman this author is. She bears her soul for all to read. Her heart wrenching journey leaves you feeling hopeful in the face of any adversity and truly empowered as if all things really are possible.
   I count Connie May fowler as one of my living heros!



2. Haven't we all wished at one time or another that we had talked the significant others in our beloved's past?!?!
   
   
   After knowing and teaching with Connie May for a number of years, I waited far too long to read Katie; Connie May had left the building. And I now long to share my thoughts with her.
   
   Her compelling memoir strikes a chord with anyone who has walked away from the carnage of a love/hate relationships, and of the fear that forces one to stay too long.
   
   I will say that Connie Mae's courageous relevations bring to the surface the consequences of failing to "out" the abusive for fear of sounding like a victim, even though, typically, an abuser--be their tactics verbal, psychological, physical--or any combination thereof, trumps the will of their partner with the ploy of taunting and by suggesting that "you enjoy playing the victim role."
   
   These masters of their own game create a nearly unbreakable cycle by constant character atacks that serve to undermine ego structures,and emtional equillibrium. The resulting co-dependency morphs into a version of the Stockholm Syndrome, wherein ties to the captor are reinforced.
   
   As anyone who has experienced this "crazy-making" life knows,it is a long, hard recovery, but failure to expose exploitaton is like an endorsement that permits him/her to move on to yet another target, whom he/or she will expertly convince that the former spouse,lover or colleague was "crazy" and presenting themselves, instead, as the abused.
   
   
   Connie May's courage makes us all want to stand up and shout!



3. There's no question Connie May Fowler is a gifted story teller and extremely talented writer. Some passages are so searing and full of truth I've gasped when reading them. Unfortunately, the story she tells here is not fiction. I won't go into the plot because other reviewers have.
   But I will say that this book will open up the eyes of readers who wonder why rape and domestic violence can damage people so deeply. In telling her story, Fowler goes further - also showing how 'teasing' and discrimination against someone because of the appearance of their face can cause deep and life-lasting scars. So far, the latter is a problem barely touched on by authors and psychologists.
   Read this book with an open mind, and you'll find her story underscores how cruelty, shaming and bullying can almost blow out the flame of a promising human being before she even gets a chance to realize her own talent.
   Conversely, this book demonstrates how kindness and compassion can help a suffering soul survive and even bloom.
   Fowler is never pitiful and pathetic, and even when the most degrading acts are done to her, she remains a person with dignity.
   Free from cruelty and shame at last and embraced by love, the real Connie Fowler emerges in the end.



4. When you get right down to it, authors like Connie May Fowler are not much different than the rest of us. Fowler bears the scars of a horrific childhood and early adulthood, one strewn with the wreckage of a shattered self-image fueled by the alcoholic abuse of her mother and the degradation of a hideous relationship with an older man. She, as have many of her readers, has suffered through despair thick enough to reduce her to attempted suicide and has faced the depths of self-abdication so profound that she began to absorb the very evil identity her tormented partner imposed on her.

   What makes Fowler different from us, however, is language. In her hands, words make anguish palpable, sadness tangible, struggle imperative. As an author, Fowler is able to make sense of her life, and, in so doing, help us make sense of ours. "When Katie Wakes" may well be the most brutally coarse and ugly memoir you will ever read, but, at the same time, one of the most beautiful and impassioned pleas for individual integrity and indomitability ever composed. It is nothing less than a masterpiece.

   Though Ms. Fowler credits her adoption of a loyal and loving dog, Katie, as the symbolic act of reclamation and reaffirmation of life, she sells herself far short. The grandchild and child of abused women, the child Fowler becomes the target of her drunken mother's rage. The Fowler children become adept actors, hiding the shame of family disgrace and brutality under the veneer of achievement. Keeping verbal assaults invisble, preventing others from recognizing the constant physical beatings absorbed by Mama, Connie's family life resembled "smoke and mirrors, deception and shame." A "wall of silence" shrouded suffering. As a child, Connie received sustenance from words and books, and her resultant triumph as an adult vindicates her choice. Her older sister, however, absorbs and internalizes the viciousness of her home, and, consequently, develops anorexia as an adult.

   In a remarkable self-portrait, Fowler describes a wretched adult woman, unloved, unlovable, disgusting and repulsive. Her self-hatred is "untainted and unhinged." She believes herself "so ugly" that only an abusive, impotent, failed radio celebrity would be willing to love her. Yet, there is not a single note of self-pity in this wrenching memoir. Fowler reminds us that her mother's life, obliterated from a childhood rape, transcends her own in loss. Mama was "an angry woman who believed life had let her down. And it had." From disappointment to the target of her own husband's physical abuse, Fowler's mother recirculates and intensfies the pain, deliberately deflecting it on her children.

   As a young woman, Fowler has not escaped her mother's imprint. Indeed, her chosen partner encapsulates her mother's jagged opinion. Tense is irrelevant when Fowler hears herself described as "stupid," or "an ungrateful whore," or a "lousy excuse" of a lover or daughter. When she hears her mother decry her existence, "I wish...I had died the day you were born," Fowler must come to grips with an essential life choice: descent into emotional self-immolation or ascent into a struggle for life and affirmation.

   "When Katie Wakes" bravely portrays Fowler's battle for identity and wholeness. Her steadfast determination to "take responsibility for my own happiness, for my own sense of self-worth" is the best medicine for any person struggling to make sense of inner turmoil and despair. When she proclaims her need to discover "what my placer in the world should be," she speaks for any person on the cusp of a life-altering decision searching for the courage to embrace life's potential. This emotion-laden memoir is eloquent testimony to the ability of one person to wrestle life from death, hope from despair, the future from the past.




5. Connie May Fowler's, "When Katie Wakes" is masterful glimpse into the soul of a battered women. I could not put this book down once I started and I finished it in an afternoon. A heartfelt account of one women's journey from both inner and outer torments to wakefulness and a sort of freedom, I would recommend this book to anyone. Fowler's easy writing style opens the door for us to descend easily into the hell that is home to the battered woman. Often wondering exactly what is was that kept a woman from mentally walking away from her abuser when she could physically do so, Fowler's insight has put the answer into perspective and I will never have to ask that question again.

4 comments about Silence and Noise: Growing Up Zen in America.

1. This is the story of a young man raised in the quiet reflection of a Zen monastery, but thrown suddenly into the noise, confusion, and chaos of mainstream America. The author paints a vivid picture of his struggle to adjust to a kaleidoscopic, loud, and sometimes rude new culture. He examines differences in assumptions, values, and customs, and explores the meanings in those differences. He also describes how, in the end, his Buddhist upbringing helped him come to terms with the changes.
   
   This book is clearly and vibrantly written, and very enjoyable. It's also an eye-opener. I loved it.



2. I loved this book. If you want to understand what zen is
   about, this is the book. Who better to enlighten us than
   someone born into a zen family?

   I felt the author was too hard on himself. I hope he's reading
   this. He's is ok. But I get the impression he thinks there
   is something wrong with being different. I think many enlightened people feel this way because those seeking "enlightenment" generally aren't showy people; so
   you don't often meet them.

   Ivan you are not alone. I understand your message. And I'm
   closer than you think. Just stay on the path. The truth will
   set you free.

   Lovely book and looking forward to many more to come




3. This very readable, human book takes you into the world and mind of someone who has led an unusual life and destroys the myth that all Americans are somehow "coming from the same place" and can use the same experiences and references. Wrong! And this author is only one of many.
   Mr. Richmond serves as a translator, so to speak, a bridge between divergent world views and his descriptions of trying to understand "Pop Culture" ( and sometimes getting it wrong) are fascinating. He writes with humanity and humor, never taking the stand that his upbringing and ideals are "better" just because they are different. This is a white, middle class individual who speaks English, one can only guess at how hard American culture ( and the idea we are a "Christian Nation") is for some people coming from "outside" to grasp. I read it in one or two sittings, I found it touching and eye opening, with a refreshing simplicity.
   The message I got: No world view, or lifestyle, is ever perfect. There is good and bad in all lifestyles and religions, and a compassionate person needs to see that we are *not* all alike, not all coming from a common reference. As we stretch toward empathy, our spirit grows. Mr. Richmond's struggle to unite "silence" with "noise" has given him a unique perspective, one I really enjoyed sharing.



4. This very readable, human book takes you into the world and mind of someone who has led an unusual life and destroys the myth that all Americans are somehow "coming from the same place" and can use the same experiences and references. Wrong! And this author is only one of many.
   Mr. Richmond serves as a translator, so to speak, a bridge between divergent world views and his descriptions of trying to understand "pop culture" ( and sometimes getting it wrong) are fascinating. He writes with humanity and humor, never taking the stand that his upbringing and ideals are "better" just because they are different. This is a white, middle class individual who speaks English, one can only guess at how hard American culture ( and the idea we are a "Christian Nation") is for some people coming from "outside" to grasp. I read it in one or two sittings, I found it touching and eye opening, with a refreshing simplicity.
   The message I got: No world view, or lifestyle, is ever perfect. There is good and bad in all lifestyles and religions, and a compassionate person needs to see that we are *not* all alike, not all coming from a common reference. Much damage has been done by this view. As we stretch toward empathy, our spirit grows and we as a society grow. Mr. Richmond's struggle to unite "silence" with "noise" has given him a unique perspective, one I really enjoyed sharing.

4 comments about My Fathers' Houses : Memoir of a Family.

1. I am not Jewish, I did not grow up in New Jersey, and I was born the year the author graduated from Harvard. How can I explain the reasons I loved this book? Perhaps the reviewer below summed it up best: it IS refreshing to read a memoir that is not fueled by anger, contempt, or confession. This is a very pleasant visit to a time and place that, while not my own, echo a love of family connections and triumphs. I hope there will be a sequel and I applaud Mr. Roberts for taking the time to reflect upon and share his childhood. We need more books that aren't someone else's therapy.



2. I cannot imagine wasting nearly a year of ones life to write a silly and superficial book about a very small and plain vanilla family. Like millions of immigrant families, Roberts' family came to the US, set up shop, had kids, worked hard and passed on their genes. For Steve Roberts, his very ordinary and undistinguished career as a writer for The New York Times and other publications was only made significant by his marriage to Cokie Boggs, whose only claim to fame was being the daughter of a big time pol from the south before he died. She then spent a lot of time at ABC as the classic liberal reporter before she got dumped for George Stepyounopulous, Clinton's mouthpiece.
   Luckily this book won't take long to read if you want to, but I keep asking myself why I wasted an hour of my life to read it. I guess the high point of the book is that Barney Frank is his good buddy and got him to apply to Harvard. That's about it. Oh, and he was a bag boy for Scotty Reston. Wow. To think some poor tree died for this.



3. First: I'm a big fan of Team Roberts. But I was not expecting the depth of emotion and connection this book evoked in me. I'm a bit younger than Steve, grew up on the West Coast in a WonderBread world, but his descriptions of his background and growing up, full of all the anguish of the less-than-perfect teenager, were astonishingly affirming. I have passed the volume on to another, and expect it will continue to make the rounds. I'm hoping for volume two that picks up at the time they were married and carries on, since there are surely many more stories!



4. Steve Roberts has written a charming memoir that celebrates his family and an era gone by. Roberts grew up in Jersey City, an area usually reserved for punch-lines of stupid jokes, but Roberts captures all that is to be valued in his hometown. It is refreshing to read a memoir that is not so much motivated by anger and discontent. MY FATHER'S HOUSES is a memoir written to give credit where it is due.

5 comments about Native State.

1. I'm quickly approaching the end of this book and already saddened by that fact. This has got to be one of the best books I've ever read. I'm principally a fan of non-fiction and this memoir has really touched me. If you fancy yourself as musical, nostalgic, cosmopolitan, idealist or perhaps, simply human in the least bit, you will undoubtedly find yourself attached to this book. Maybe I relate to it more than others will but the wanderlust, the music, the cast of shadowy figures, the distance (figurative and literal) between self and family all tug at my heart with a true, visceral immediacy. I found it extremely thought-provoking and wisdom-imparting. With jazz in my ears, misadventure on my mind, and a bittersweetness in my heart, I will be reading this one again and again.



2. Tony Cohan's attempt to cope with the father who dominated his life has produced this splendid tale of escape into adventures literary, musical, and romantic in lands far and near. Mr. Cohan's abundant talents enabled him to find acceptance among musical and literary figures whose names will surely inspire threads of memory for readers of a certain age, say 60 and older. The memoir thus opens many more windows than would the ramblings of a less gifted protagonist.
   
   The writing is more than equal to the images it is called on to create, and the influence of Mr. Cohan's father is delineated touchingly and understandably as it evolves from early days in New York and Hollywood up to the day of the elder Mr. Cohan's death.



3. This is a favorite for me - a retrospecitve on real life adventures of a man experiencing life with reckless abandon, yet searching for something - meaning, fulfillment, legacy...
   
   Tony Cohan bares his sole, show his flaws, character strengths and character failings. No glossing over the facts, just tells it like it was. Easy to relate to for those with a sense of wanderlust. His failings are our failings. We experience his adventures as if we were there.
   
   A really good read if you like biographies, adventure, character studies...
   
   Cohan's "On Mexican Time" was also a very good book.



4. I purchased this book based on the author's experiences with many artists that have touched my life. I found this to be a slow read and not particularly thought inducing. Perhaps someday as my father is aging I will re-read it and find a new appreciation for it, but until then I would suggest avoiding this one.



5. Tony Cohan, an incredibly gifted writer - his account of finding a new life in Mexico, 'On Mexican Time', is a superior contribution to the genre of literary travel memoir - has written a sort of early prequel to that book, a fascinating and heartrending story of one man's search for a meaningful life. This is played out in retrospect as he watches his father die in present day Los Angeles. He takes us back to his boyhood in the shadow of a belittling and domineering man, who shaped him for all that was to come. Young Cohan was an accomplished jazz drummer playing with greats like Dexter Gordon in Copenhagen - and pre-Ringo Beatles in Hamburg! - but he gave this up to follow a trickier path of self-expression as a writer. This led him through the early days of the counterculture that began in the late 1950s and flowered into the sex,drugs, rock and roll, Buddhism of the 60s. Cohan hung out with Paul Bowles in Morocco, Jim Morrison in LA, Burroughs in Paris. But this is much more than a name-dropping memoir. It's the paradigm voyage of a generation, and Cohan is its very best, most moving explicator. A great and moving book.

5 comments about Looks Like Howard.

1. One of the best and most entertaining reads I've had in quite some time. Sure, it was extra-special reading a memoir that took place in familiar home-territory, with so-familiar-that-it's-scary parallels that happen in many large, Catholic family settings.....but mostly it's just beautiful imagination shining onto paper, weaving a tapestry of humor, wackiness, honesty, awareness and insight to which many readers will instantly relate. The ending was unexpected and delightful (gave me chills, actually). I look forward to more titles by this author in the future!



2. A powerful read -- packed with self-deprecating humor, fantastic turns of phrase,incredible emotion, and insightful revelations arising from mundane everyday life. And best of all,the ending is especially satisfying even though (and maybe because) it's not wrapped up with a perfect bow. This book is enjoyable not only because Kambitsch's writing is fantastic, but also because the story is compelling and vibrant in a very believable way.



3. I really enjoyed this book. Ms. Kambitsch (rhymes with damn bitch! (-:) reveals a fascinating childhood and coming-of-age in this funny, yet poignant memoir. If you ever get to Dayton, OH, she enacts scenes from Shaggy Hair in occasional performance art with Maribeth -- you just have to read the book!



4. ... In the 1960's, this might be the story he would write. Except Patricia Kambitsch makes it clear when this memoir extends into the occasional fictional fantasy. And her brilliance of fantasy reflects a sensitive adult that can inhabit and feel deeply for the little girl experiencing the tragedies of her youth, but not understanding them at the time.
   
   The crux of the story (why you should read this) is that she reates such a vivid sense of how children view their own lives, that you may relive the wonder of your own childhood through new eyes she bestows upon you, the reader. She revives the immediacy of experience and the meaningfulness of everything and anything - a word, a pet, a blanket - as a child sees them at the time of experience. Her adult reflections bring the edge of humor to the story, where all the real-world characters of one's life - big siblings, parent, neighbors - are portrayed with a biting comedy originating from years of storymaking and empathy.
   
   So, if David Sedaris had been born a girl in the 60's, he might be as funny as this, but we would would not have the incredible fantasies recreated here, speaking with the truth of self-told fictions in a real and rich inner life.



5. In this memoir, Kambitsch really nails the smallest moments of family and childhood all under the shadow of her dead father. It sounds like a sad story from the outside. Six children left fatherless, a grieving, lovely widow left to fend for them all.
   
   But it's not what you think.
   
   What makes this book different from the typical early childhood trauma memoir is Kambitsch's irreverent and hilarious narrating voice. She has all the flair of an author like David Sedaris and his underhanded humor, and she is able to capture the conversations, the rules of the childhood games (like "Playing Jesus"), and the portraits of her family that really make the story pop.
   Kambitsch sneaks in some poignant and sad issues and then tears them apart with her sarcastic and straightforward humor. In the end, you will love this family for their imperfections.
   
   It's refreshingly subtle and smart writing.

No comments about Horse and Buggy Days on Hatchet Creek: An Alabama Boyhood in the 1890s (Library Alabama Classics).

1 comments about 791 Coney Island Avenue: Brooklyn.

1. George DiGuido's memoir, 791 CONEY ISLAND AVENUE, is a pleasure to read. The Author paints a charming and impressively detailed picture of Brooklyn life that spans the period from 1920 to 1942. He doesn't miss a thing. Topics covered run the gamut from kid's games and curse words, to the World's Fair, to the first kiss, to the city's museums and art works. So thorough are DiGuido's descriptions, I felt I knew the kid, his family, the city, the people, and the ethnic cultures, even though I've never set foot in Brooklyn. Interwoven with these wonderful descriptions is the story of a boy growing up, coming of age and leaving his childhood behind when he joins the Army early in WWII. At that time the world was in chaos, Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo were destroying the world, and young Americans boys were going off to die in places with strange names. Amidst this turmoil, the family at 791 Coney Island Avenue remains unchanged, an eternal, safe-haven in the mind of the nineteen-year-old author as he boards the troop-train for places unknown.

   This is a beautifully written memoir that will give you hours of enjoyment.