5 comments about Perpetua's Passion: The Death and Memory of a Young Roman Woman.

1. I found 'Perpetua's Passion really interesting, getting an interesting picture of Roman Society and attitudes. I finished the book wondering if the author, had some type of axe to grind in this society. I thought she tried to dismiss any notion that Pepetua and the other martyrs might have been truly holy or had any divine access to God. She was always giving another reason for what happened as though nothing spiritual was taking place.



2. "Perpetua's Passion: The Death and Memory of a Young Roman Woman" is the story of Perpetua, a young Roman Christian who was martyred in 203 A.D. It is a book well worth reading...but it is also missing something.

   I found Perpetua's Passion to be very well written and apparently well researched. Joyce E. Salisbury adeptly explores and explains the Roman and Carthaginian culture that Perpetua lived in. Mrs. Salisbury also seamlessly weaves into this tapestry a compelling picture of the Christian Church during the time of these events.

   The book is based off of the diary that Perpetua kept during her captivity. Mrs. Salisbury explains the significance of Perpetua's actions in light of the culture of her day. She then shows the influence of Perpetua's story on the later Church.

   All of this is very commendable. I was most impressed by the scholarship and insight of this book. Yet a question forms within me when I contemplate this book:

   So what? Where is the heart in this book? There is nothing in this book which says anything about how these events speak to the soul of people today. Maybe I missed it...

   What happened to Perpetua was more than a clinical historical event that affected the people immediately around her and eventually helped form certain patterns of thought within the Church. It was much more. It was a mortal being making an eternal statement. It was a moment in time where the Christian truth that there is more than this life was given a full embodiment in the actions of a young woman--A young woman who had every reason to live, yet for her, to die was gain. It was a moment of ultimate surrender, and at the same time, one of ultimate victory. The blood of the Martyrs is the seed of the Church!

   In the end, in spite of my objection, I recommend this book. It is insightful and instructive. However, don't just read this book with your head. Approach this one with your heart and your soul.




3. Though this book is, on the whole, a useful one, it doesn't take a glimpse at the author's bio to quickly realize she is no classicist. How else can one explain two elementary errors back-to-back which, even to this amateur Roman historian, are as prominent as two sore thumbs?

   On page 36 (Chapter 2, "The City" subsection) the author asserts Polybius "wrote circa 200 B.C." Why? Because those who claim he was BORN at that time are only making "scholarly estimates" (according to my "Polybius on Roman Imperialism")? Or because Salisbury breezily, and in this case incorrectly, assumed that Polybius was a contemporary of the events he most famously chronicled (an assumption that fails to hold for most Roman historical sources; cf. Suetonius, Tacitus)?

   Similarly, a mere three paragraphs down, Salisbury claims Hannibal "crossed the Alps with his elephants and succeeded in laying siege to the city of Rome itself." I'd be prompted to ask "Why?" again if in this case the real reason weren't so blatant: Salisbury fliply read a history of the 2nd Punic War and just assumed that at the high-tide of his success Hannibal must have laid siege "to the city of Rome itself". This assertion is no more true than the Polybius one. In "Warfare in Antiquity" by Hans Delbruck (just one source where this can be found), the author states that Hannibal was so aware of his deficiencies in manpower and siege equipment that he knew "despite the greatest victories, he would not be capable of besieging and capturing Rome itself" (Chapter II).

   I may seem to nitpick, but the errors I cited above are fundamental and have no place in a scholarly work, even if they are somewhat tangential to the book's main topic. I hope that in a future edition they will be corrected.




4. In Perpetua's Passion, Salisbury has served two different communities very well---those interested in early Christianity, and those interested in the history of women. She deftly creates a sociology of life in a group of early Christian martyrs, and does so in a way that makes very clear family relations, gender roles, and the strength of Vibia Perpetua herself. I have used this book when teaching a course on ancient & medieval women (and will do so again), and found that it worked very well. Students found it readable and useful and thought-provoking.



5. STAMPED ON MY MIND FOREVER-FABULOUS BOOK. TO KNOW OF SUCH STRONG HEROISM OF THESE 2 SAINTS OF GOD MOVED ME TO A MUCH DEEPER WALK WITH GOD. IT MAKES YOU THINK IF YOU HAD THE FAITH TO DIE LIKE THAT. I LOVED IT TOTALLY.

5 comments about The Truth Is . . .: My Life in Love and Music.

1. This is a great book! It is an easy to read inspirational book that takes you on a tour of her life through her family, passions, traumas, setbacks and accomplishments. Sometimes it is comforting to know that we are not alone in this journey and reading about "celebrities" that had rough times too, triumphed in the end.



2. I guess I can now say that I understand why her music is so fantastic. It's raw and you can feel her emotions pouring out in each and every one. This book covers most of the basics of her life and of course details. You find out about all the heart breaking, losses, and happy moments of her life and how she came to be the person she is today.
   If your a fan of her music, you have to pick up this book to fully understand why her music touches your soul.



3. melissa life's is full of strugle ,truth and love. Please try to read the book. Is well written and full of love.



4. The title is "The TRUTH is... My Life in LOVE and Music". A lot of the reviewers seem to think that Melissa has been too honest about her relationships, or is too focused on herself, or was unfair to Julie Cypher by detailing the road to the breakup in this book instead of just writing about her music. This is Melissa's AUTObiography, and as such is the truth of her life as she sees it, not anybody else's version. For most artists their emotional life is a huge part of their creativity! For an artist this powerful, that harsh personal life IS the most important part of the songwriting, and why the songs have so much impact and resonance. The life experience and love leads to the music. I read this book a few years back, and was also appalled that Melissa could put up with so much apparent acting out from Julie, while also understanding that it takes two to make a union. Having personally dealt with the kind of crazy-making emotional game playing that it seems was going on, I will especially applaud Melissa's courage for being honest about her own part in enabling the behavior (through not understanding it, through giving up her own power, for rationalizing, for covering up and making excuses, and for desperately holding on to someone who wanted and needed to leave), and thus how destructive it was for both of them.
   This book helped open my eyes to how common this is. Abused kids turn into adults looking to heal the abuse by partnering with people who feel "like home", but who basically just further the abuse so familiar from childhood ("you looked like Father, you felt like Mother, my mind told my heart there is no other. And I gave you my soul and every ounce of control.."). Get two people with abusive childhood backgrounds together, and many people of all sexual orientations never make it out of that pattern, looking for healing and redemption in another person, when healing from abuse is an INSIDE job! They understand that something is wrong, but keep trying to placate and please the other person to "fix" the relationship that is mirroring their past, instead of realizing that one CAN'T fix anyone else, only oneself. Julie did Melissa a huge favor: she gave her the feelings that made the songs. ("I turned your dreams into lightning, ain't that enough? I held the world back for you, ain't that enough? I loved you past the point of dying, ain't that enough of me for you?!") Giving and giving and giving to the point of exhaustion only destroys the giver. ("My lover needs to seize, bring me to my knees"). It doesn't make a relationship work any better, but it gave Melissa the personal impetus to make incredible music that, in attempting to heal herself, can also help to heal others.
   By being so honest, Melissa gives readers the gift of examples of dysfunctional family abuse with which they may be able to identify, and the resultant unhealthy relationships that can't work without understanding how our past affects our present. She finally figured a lot of this out. If she can do it, so can others in similar circumstances who might never have understood how dysfunctional their own relationships are. Gay or straight, it still hurts when a relationship isn't working despite one's best efforts. "Truth Of The Heart" among other, newer songs, is an example of the spiritual growth she achieved as a result of the pain. I think the book truly is a gift to any reader, fan or otherwise, who can empathize and identify with Melissa's life and see parallels in their own, and maybe get some big AhHa s and clues to eventually healing their own pain and becoming emotionally healthy and wise. As for the voice and editing, it was collaboratively written, and needed to be accessible in tone. If I want great literature, I go elsewhere. For healing though, it's the honest story that helps the most.



5. Great book written by Melissa Etheridge! She really lets her guard down and tells all. Never knew she was so down to earth until reading her bio. Great read if you want to really know the woman who has a superb voice.

5 comments about My Emily Dickinson (New Directions Paperbook).

1. This is a serious and personal literary study of Dickinson's work by a scholar and fellow poet who appreciates both the art and the attitude of one of her American literary forebears.

   Howe points out how Dickinson's poetry has been overlooked in light of her character and biography. It seems that in the 19th century, it was remarkable for a woman to be a poet at all, let alone write original, rebellious, and quite modern poetry. Hence, the work itself, though enjoyed by schoolchildren all over America, has been little understood.

   Delving into Dickinson's reading lists, her notes and letters, and analyzing a few poems, Howe explores the workings of an intricate mind. She uncovers connections between Dickinson and the Brownings, the Brontes, and James Fenimore Cooper, and she shows how seemingly submissive, soft spoken poetic lines are actually rebellious and even at times angry. What Howe does not do is confuse the image of "The Belle of Amhearst" with the vital workings of the mind of this remarkable woman.

   This book is an enjoyable read filled with Howe's admiration for her artistic predecessor and written in straightforward language, not literary jargon--a tribute from one poet to another. For anyone who enjoys Emily Dickinson's poetry, it is not to be missed.




2. I was tempted to give it a lower score, but that wouldn't be due to its merits; it wouldn't be fair. See, this book is pretty much average. There are dozens of books on Dickinson that are more insightful, balanced, and intelligent--but wherever you meet the adepts of certain poetry schools, you hear things like "This is the best book on Dickinson ever." It's truly remarkable to hear this, since none of these people have ever actually read any other books on Dickinson; they're acolytes of the witless schools of poetry called L=a=n=g=u=a=g=e, which means they exalt their own. Be assured, anyone who gives high praise to this fiercely unexceptional book just doesn't know all the other Dickinson books that are so much more stimulating.



3. This book does more than just explore Dickinson's life and poetics, although it does that expertly. It falls in line with a tradition of books of poets writing about poets who have intensely figured in their conception of poetry. This is more personal than a biography in that it is a writer's concern with Dickinson's place in history and what she was trying to do with her poetry. Howe does a wonderful job of trying to get into the poems through playing with language. It's a place to meet Dickinson at as she was a lover of games and words.



4. This book is not for the faint of intellect. It is a challenging book for most readers, I believe. Ms. Howe takes you on a poetic journey well worth taking.



5. I have been pretty much obsessed with Emily Dickinson since 1980, and have enjoyed reading many treatments of her life and her poems, while enduring many other books about her. She is quite a mystery, and shall always remain so, becoming the kind of woman and poet that each generation seems to need. I did not like this author's prose style, which seemed to me to have many sentence fragments and many abrupt transitions which did not seem logical. However, it does contain one of the best meditations on Emily's literary and theological influences, including the preacher Jonathan Edwards, and the Brownings, and the Brontes, and Shakespeare. For that reason, it is worth reading if you care about the Belle of Amherst at all. I found myself drawn to her poetry from high school on, but over the decades, becoming much more fascinated with her life choices and experiences. We will never know for sure how many poems are autobiographical, how many actually describe her take on the experiences of her small but intense social circle, and how many are pure fiction. What an impact she has made on the literary world, by living the life of a fairly affluent New England spinster who did not get out much. That is endlessly fascinating to me. Unfortunately it is not the thrust of this volume. My recommendation is to start with Richard Sewell's huge biography of Emily from the 1970's. It covers the life AND the poetry in a reasonable and accessible manner. Some think Emily a secular nun, some think her a deeply closeted lesbian and/or incest victim, some feel she had many love affairs but was discrete about them. Some think her insane, some believe her to be the sanest of us all. Some find her an early feminist, and others see her as an oppressed woman. This book is one fellow female poet's appreciation of Emily's talents and circumstances. Wait another year and another scholar will present a different view. Emily left us 1,776 poems, give or take a few hidden in the text of letters, and someday there will be 1,776 books about her.

5 comments about The Other Side of the Sky: A Memoir.

1. This book is great reading for teeens through adults. It is an easy read - can be read in 1-2 days. The story is gripping and suspenseful and really gives one an understanding of life in turbulent Afghanistan and the difficulty refugees encountered to make their way out. My husband and I read the book and enjoyed it as did my daughters, ages 19 and 17.



2. I got Farad's audio book because we have been working in relief and development in Afganistan since 1984. It is a well narrated book, an uplifting account the suffering of a child and of people who come into our lives and believe in us, love us and walk with us through the difficulties of life in Afghanistan, Pakistan and in America.
   
   Farad, a young, Hazara girl, has lived an unbelievable life before reaching the age of 15. Her story is a first hand picture of the devastation of a beautiful country destroyed by war and ethnic conflict. She and her family were caught in the middle. She stepped on a landmine as she was going to school in Kabul. She was in the second grade and things went downhill from there.
   
   This is a story of suffering and pain but finding strength to respond when it seemed impossible. This is a story of faith and people practically living out their faith. It is the story of a young girl who has a dream.



3. When seven-year-old Farah Ahmedi stepped on a landmine in her native Afghanistan, she thought her life was over. The hospital in her war-torn city only tried to keep her alive until German doctors made their regular monthly visit, airlifting the most crucial cases to heal in their own country.
   
   Away from her family and culture, Farah fell apart.
   
   Then, as she began to heal, she made friends with a German woman, who informally adopted Farah like one of her own. Gradually, Farah began to learn the language and enjoy the peaceful, beautiful country -- making it just as shocking when she was returned to her family two years later.
   
   Suddenly, nothing Farah's family or country can offer her seems good enough. The little girl had become used to a better life, and she was determined to live it again.
   
   That wish kept her determination driven over the next few years, when war ravaged her family and her home. Left with nothing but a crippled daughter, Farah's mother hovered on the brink of madness and wanted to give up. But Farah, who had had a peek of what life could be, believed the two were destined to live in America through a special program for Afghan widows and orphans.
   
   After numerous obstacles - including 9/11 - the two finally get their wish. But their struggle is far from over, as they find themselves in the midst of a culture clash with the general American public. Farah's mother is still battling mental demons, and Farah herself not only has to learn to speak and read English, but read altogether, as her Afghan education had fallen apart during wartime.
   
   Above all, Farah learns, there is always a higher power out there, willing to help you during your most desperate times, sending relief in the form of a person destined to cross your life's path.
   
   This simply told story is a powerful testament to the atrocities that can be endured without breaking. Farah Ahmedi is one extraordinary teenager, destined to do great things.



4. I am reading this book with my class at school. I love it! I look forward to it everyday. This is a story that every American needs to hear because it is living proof of how much we have been given. When you realize that many people in the world have had to deal with the things that Farah did, the everyday dramas in your life are put into a totally new perspective. This book is real. It happened to real people, it teaches real lessons, and that is why it leaves any hollow fiction or fantasy behind.



5. My daughter read this book, and this is what she had to say about it:
   "This was a very exciting, sorrowful, detailed story. It inspired me. I recommend this book to people of all ages who love non-fiction adventure. This book has almost everything a reader could want. I always wanted to know what was going to happen next in the story. Farah Ahmedi, the writer and main character of this book, detailed the story so much you could picture yourself in her spot; although, you would never WANT to be in her place in real life.
   
   'The Story of my Life' was extemely sad at some points. Losing almost her whole family, getting caught up in the war, losing a leg, escaping from Afgahnistan. Sometimes during the book I almost cried and other times, I laughed in happiness. The book had many different moods.
   
   The message, (or theme) of the book for me was 'Never be afraid of starting again, or beginning a new life'. Of course for everyone this is different, all of us have a different point of view. But this was mine.
   But to come to an end with this review, I really enjoyed every word from beginning to end!! Highly Recommended."

5 comments about Rowing to Latitude: Journeys Along the Arctic's Edge.

1. I was truly sad to finish this book. Jill is very honest about her adventures and about the frustrating and life changing times she has had in the wilderness. Even if the reader is not an outdoorsperson, he or she will enjoy the vivid descriptions of the arctic communities, the relationship between Jill and husband Doug, the struggles Jill faces in life including her mother's battle with cancer and much more. Thank you Jill for writing such a beautiful book.



2. Unusual deep and wide revelations, experienced and written by a woman describing extreme world wide rowing and paddling. Fully appriciated by kindred spirit having traveled with mind and heart.



3. Her style is elegantly simple, her stories come from the heart...



4. I recommend that you take these reviews with a grain of salt. The stories told by author are quite exciting, but I think that some readers have let them overshadow the author's trite metaphors, frequent, not-so-subtle digs at her husband, and self-aggrandizing style that any editor worth her salary would have edited out in the first draft. The author actually compares herself to Mother Teresa at one point.
   
   If you are looking to read about adventure, try some real writers. Read "The Places In Between," by Rory Stewart, or "The Worst Journey in the World," by Apsley Cherry-Garrard. These are written with sensitivity, elegance, and complete lack of ego. Perhaps Ms. Fredston should have taken a look at these before dashing off her book.



5. She is an amazing writer...very in tune with herself and her natural settings. Adventerous and fun! A must read for anyone who loves Alaska, paddling, or just a coming into your own kind of reader!

5 comments about The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir.

1. This is a good little read, basically Toni Bentley's first hand story about discovering the joys of anal sex. She doesn't go into much detail about many parts of it and so in many ways only really introduces the reader to the first stages of her total liberation, in many ways her anal sex experiences representing many of the same things to her as vaginal sex does for people on first entering the sexual arena. That is, the feeling of liberation on realizing the same bliss can be achieved with subsequent partners when the emotional baggage is cleared out etc.
   
   In many ways, for readers who come to this book just out of a curiosity, I feel Toni could have offered a little more. Others do, Authors such as Tristan Taormino, Jan Sincero (in passing in `The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks'), and many references and understandings provided by people such as, and especially, Suzie Bright (from the gay Womens' scene).
   
   For the inexperienced reader, Toni only focuses on the intensity of the sensations surrounding anal penetration and doesn't mention some of the heightened sensations.
   
   With the same sphincter responding but in a different area and with so many more nerve endings it was only through anal sex one of my partners ever got to knowing the `whole of body' type orgasm. Normally we would only go anal after a series of vaginal orgasms, by when most people would be ready to collapse exhausted and call it a night. It was pretty mind-blowing to be part of that experience for her, when she would lose all control and be overcome (no pun intended) like a seizure. Ms Bentley doesn't really give any detail of any similar experience, never really talking about her orgasms or their intensity when achieved anally, more's probably the pity, knowledge like that possibly being valuable for the inexperienced to overcome any fear or apprehension. However, this is her story, not a manual, her choice what, and how much detail she wishes to share.
   
   These higher levels of intensity and climax are the start of the stages of anal stimulation and release that Toni doesn't detail, we can only assume she achieved and experienced. This `anal epiphany' (if that's not blasphemous) is looked at in much more detail in such things as Tristan Taormino's texts (The complete guide to Anal sex for women). Ms Taormino's books can be little challenging for we blokes because she sells the experience as one for both/all genders but are still beautiful reads because of the comfortable acceptance of all things and exclusive interest in quality of life and experience. After all there is no 'normal'.
   
   The next stage of `anal mind-boggle' is the `blissed to almost pass out' stage. Known to Mystics and Spiritualists over history and demonized by the mainstream because of the sense of empowerment and access to the Goddess energy for the Womenexperiencing it whom the system wanted to suppress. This stage is touched on a little by some of Susie Bright's texts, not approached at all here by Ms Bentley.
   
   It's not something for everyone, but it's also not something to fear if it feels right. Maybe the most powerful statement in the book is regarding the deceptions etc so many people's sexual lives represent is that `The ass-hole never lies' (in reference to being able to `fake it' with vaginal sex but never with anal abandon). Anal sex is not for everyone, you'll fail at finding `your thing' if you look in the wrong place, the same as you will by looking for the wrong thing. Toni's message tells us what it was for her and hopefully will help some people lose their fear of looking for theirs, wherever they may find it.
   
   Cheers
   
   Lloyd



2. Even if anal sex isn't your thing, this is a hot book, because it's about a woman revealing all about her sexuality. I enjoyed it. I'm currently reading Abby Lee's Diary of a Sex Fiend: Girl with a One Track Mind. It's the same kind of thing--a woman describing all her sexual thoughts and activities.



3. "Words seemed the only way to mark the spot, to preserve my transitory experience of eternity. This is a testamentary document. Do not miss the message, distracted by the profanity of the act." (8-9) The seven pages that comprise "The Holy F[&%$]" earn five stars. As a man, within this book-- not my usual genre!-- I found this introduction revelatory: it shows the male how otherworldly the act of sex can become when made unfamiliar and raw and sanctified by its daring. The disorienting act of sex by its transfer away from the usual to the upended challenges the natural order. The rapture Bentley craves shares its closeness to that open to procreation. The loss of ego, however, she chooses to release not by the social norm for union but that proclaiming a humanistic defiance of the ordinary.
   
   A rebellious decision that places a woman as truly pro-choice, even against the familiar voices for sexual freedom which themselves tended to disdain this action, which found few advocates among the now-PC orthodoxy of earlier pioneers for sexual liberation. Post-feminists, or more open-minded women, may find, as might many men, a potential for renewal of sexual possibility in this outré practice. In this brief memoir, hints of this arousing power echo from the introduction outward. While the rest of the book fails for me to expand upon the insights of the seven pages of text introducing this daring subject, Bentley is to be commended for her courage. She brings her idea and ideal of fulfillment by sexual longing to a mass market, mature, audience rather than where this book may have languished, in some "adult" category that no public library or major bookstore would have stocked.
   
   Bentley recounts her literary, spiritual, and physical quest to find God in this tender but risky act of total submission to another man. She is a smart, witty woman. Not a natural writer, it seems; the introduction remains the most cogent presentation of her subject. Her own sexual exploits along brazen lines, in fact, make up "color commentary" compared to her main psycho-sexual narrative. Her reports from numbered acts among the nearly three-hundred "surrenders" spice up her reflections, the post-coital thoughts that as the quote I opened this review with demonstrates, she commits to paper as well as memory.
   
   The topic, judged to make most readers skittish if judged by the coy refusal of the dust jacket blurbs to explicitly state her "holy act" makes this book controversial. This ultimate frontier is crossed by Bentley. It's probably the last to be explored, in our era where rumors of "rainbow parties" among adolescents, Monica and cigars, and casual banter have made another formerly whispered, semi-taboo act, that of oral stimulation, practically mainstream in our society. Bondage gear co-opted by Hot Topic, French maid uniforms by Halloween-clad grown-ups, sex emporiums franchised, there's little remaining even for half-prudish, half-brave Americans to contemplate that presents a higher barrier to overcome on the journey to knowledge through sexual union. For women who have the opportunity to have it all whenever and with whomever, Bentley asks: "is that all there is?" No less than a contemplative monk or nun, Bentley treats the "Sex & the City" generation to her candor and her own solution.
   
   This disparity between what as Seneca lamented-- not to mention the boastful Doobie Brothers' album title!-- "what were once vices are now habits" of conventional vaginal and now (if only the past forty years) oral intercourse against that of alternative penetration make up the thrust of her argument here. Straight intercourse, she proposes, for her is by its "nature" meant to be too easy, too deceptive for the one entering, and too familiar. She counters the (in)famous passage in Norman Mailer's "An American Dream" that angered Kate Millett in the opening pages of her "Sexual Politics" decades ago. What's lacking in popular literature is a cultural history of attitudes towards this act, whose feared name [when you articulate the municipal sin misattributed to the Cities of the Plain {see Mark D. Jordan's book) by medieval Christian canonists blaming the cityfolks not for inhospitality let alone gang rape but male penetration] drips with condemnation, the taint of fire and the smell of brimstone.
   
   "A raid on the Devil and a trip on back to the Lord" as Mailer sums up the difference between the two entries, but Bentley insists that this is a male view, and few males, she charges, have surrendered as she has. This sub-topic, however, is but alluded to in the rest of the memoir. Her consideration would have benefited from placing her own experience within a context of other men and women who have sought ecstasy beyond pleasure or pain. Her introduction posits for this form of trust in one's partner, one's own liberation on the way towards the mystical union with the divine. These are daring suggestions, and refreshing ones. But, for most of the remainder, her own affairs with men and a woman here and there take precedence over implications of this larger subject. It still awaits sustained and serious attention by a major publisher and a skilled interpreter. {See my Amazon review of one brief attempt, "The Rear View," Jean-Luc Hennig.} This background needs to be foregrounded, the sides reversed, the exchange of the dominant model of intercourse with the one that few today can honestly, openly confront.
   
   My title of this review is one of the few analogies she does not use! But, I chose it as it symbolizes the decision to engage in an intimate encounter that remains the most confrontational in its refusal to follow the easier course, the natural destination we all drive towards, the road more traveled. Admittedly, it's difficult as Bentley herself finds to avoid bottom-heavy metaphors or puns, and she falls into this trap at the risk of silliness, which on the other hand lightens the self-analytical tone of her memoir. She reminds us that sex however pursued should be more enjoyable and less fraught with tension.
   
   The issues she has with her father are covered in chapters I found rather predictable, and the arc of the affair with her lover "Mr. A" follows a familiar curve. While I recognize her commendable desire to overcome her atheist background by her search for the transcendent, and her own italicized couplings play well off the more detailed rationales and journalistic treatments, the balance of the narrative remains unsettled. Perhaps unavoidably in a book of this nervous search, but more polishing of the remainder of the manuscript to match the grace of its opening pages would have resulted in a better crafted study. Sex and spirituality deserve wherever an adept joins them a respectful, profound meditation.
   
   It's as if she wanted to write a memoir about "it" and a study of "it," but then settled abruptly to chart her affair and end with its quick aftermath. She skims therefore in her conclusion a far more valuable integration of her Buddhist meditation. Surely the Tantric and esoteric teachings linking sex and spirit deserved more elucidation?
   
   The book halts nearly too abruptly. Short chapters (two hundred large-type pages can easily be read in less than two hours) dash about between well-chosen quotes, statistics, random musings, and an admittedly intriguing comparison between the rigors of her quarter-century of ballet training and the demands that she places her body and soul into while enjoying the embrace of her adventurous lover. Recommended for open-minded readers, and I hope this book will encourage writers to consider more complex implications of the subversive argument and enticing situations Bentley uncovers.



4. norman mailer liked the writings of soren kierkegaard, but carrying the heavy weight of belief in his own talent and genius, made a poor follower; he just wasn't sufficiently submissive for the calling, a problem quite a few men have with the judeo-christian religion, if the ratio of women churchgoers to men churchgoers is acceptable as proof. to be truly submissive to a god the father principle requires followers for whom their own paternity is neither diminished nor held in question separate from one's identity. women.
   
   there is the angry woman who doubts masculine authority, in which case the man in her life fares well by getting her, if not taking her, to church where she can learn that the man is the head of the woman, his authority god given instead of biologically given. otherwise, stay with her or leave her, she remains the kind of woman who needs a stiff one up the bum.
   
   this is where toni bentley enters, or is entered. a tough willowy ballerina by training, years of tightening the opening of her backdoor, married, then divorced, celibate, then promiscuous, deliciously promiscuous: 33 men, from loss of virginity thru marriage and up until she meets the man who first penetrates her backdoor which begins her spiritual awakening, now that god has her attention, and she submits willingly, surrendering expectantly weekly, sometimes 3 and 4 times a week, past the pain to paradise.
   
   and, for tori, there is pain. pain, for tori, is acceptable. bleeding is not acceptable, nor any traces of excrement. some women believe if there's pain in the act, then either the activity is not worth doing or the pain is an indicator that you're not doing it right. tori's take is that the entrance, or, before her first time, exit, of her tush is tightly wound, as in winding not as in injury, from 25 years at the ballet barre and her new activity was a divine unwinding.
   
   the surrender, with its many sexually graphic passages, is subtitled, an erotic memoir. especially the selections from the chronicled 298 episodes she shares.
   
   is this inspirational reading for other young women? i don't know. i suspect men interested in pursuing this activity with women thank her and hold up this one woman's surrendering as example and affirmation of a good thing.



5. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I sought this book out after reading in "Slate" that the author has said since publishing her memoir that she really invented much of the psychological healing which resulted from her journey through the joys of anal sex. But I did, and I did read this epic valentine to backdoor ecstasy.
   
   I have never read any of Ms. Bentley's other works. She's a pretty good writer, although very self-involved. I guess years of studying herself in large mirrors while performing and rehearsing with the New York City Ballet company would be enough to make anyone take themselves a tad too seriously. She never really "made it" as a ballerina -- she was always just a member of the corps and never a star or even a featured dancer. But, as she points out several times in the book, to be in the chorus in NYC Ballet is the same as being top dog in any other troupe. These comments came off as sour grapes, and I think this book was probably a huge over-compensation when it was written, as well as a way to make a quick buck.
   
   That being said, the book is very explicit, and though I wouldn't read it over again, I got through it in one sitting. It's kind of like watching a slow-motion car accident, and then overhearing the driver who caused the accident explaining to the cop afterwards how the accident wasn't her fault. You know that the accident is none of your business, and that the driver is full of it -- but you can't help but stick around until the whole mess is cleaned off the road.

5 comments about The Prisoner's Wife : A Memoir.

1. PINKDIAMONDZPUBLISHING@poetic.com
   BMW300ZXRedhead@aol.com
   www.GOODMOMSFIGHTDYFS.COM
   
   i am loving this story by Asha.Had the pleasure of actually meeting her
   i am in the new york area too/nj area.
   
   A new author here young women in my mid 30's ready to release actually two books on NEW JERSEY DYFS CPS CORRUPTION WITHIN THEIR AGENCY,AND ABOUT A TRUE PRISON LOVE STORY,
   advocate on inmates rights children rights parental rights
   here in ny area nj philadelhia area....
   and today: AS I WILL MAKE THIS REVIEW LONG,FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I MUST START BY SAYING,STRONG WOMEN ARE REAL WOMEN,WE ARE "never"weak and
   we never rely on what the diablo es,the devil is which is drugs alcohol
   use and addiction to POISON,when you got a chance as ASHA DID AT NOT JUST
   TRUE BUT REAL LOVE,WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU BECOME WEAK AGAIN AS IN MY Opinion,saying this with respect for the writer,as amazing as she seem to be like i am in my writing of TRUTH FACTUAL ETC, she was weak,as she went
   from becoming STRONG AND CLEANER BECAUSE OF THIS GREAT GUY RASHIID THEN
   BECAME THE SAME AS She was before which was WEAK,something i can NEVER be.
   and i am going through my OWN STRUGGLE BUT NOT LETTING THAT GET IN THE WAY
   OF ME REMAINING FOCUS AND TREATING THE MAN IN MY LIFE WITH RESPECT HONOR
   REALNESS AND UNWAVERING AMOR......
   
   i am here to say that i do not get it.
   they,in my opinion had the REAL DEAL.sad book really is because of NOT WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH BUT WHAT DID NOT COME OUT OF IT,she goes through so much saying rashiid help her get strong,got her to open up and finally KNOW HERSELF,ETC,BUT YET LOOK HOW IT ENDS........tragic, in my opinion.
   
   Hola everyone.good afternoon and god speed to you and your LOVE one who is
   inside prison and or out of prison by now. MY DADDY AND MOMMIE ALWAYS Have
   said,"true love is just that,IT IS TRUE,IT IS REAL IT IS FOR DEAR LIFE"
   for better and for WORSE. too bad ASHA THE AMAZING WRITER OF THE PRISONER
   WIFE AND ANOTHER Book i am reading "subtle breathing"too bad she did not
   see how REAL HER LOVE WAS AND COULD HAVE BEEN WITH AMAZING RASHIID.THIS GUY IS AND WAS TRUE BLUE,as now he only in his what? early 40's and maybe
   she will realize at 39 what she can STILL HAVE WITH HIM,but just is so sad
   to see that she went through COMPLETE HELL,DRUGS ALCOHOL,WEED,PILLS i think she said,not sure but definitely drugs and drinking excessively
   abortion etc, so much heartache YET SHE MEETS THIS AMAZING AND QUITE BEAUTIFUL MAN BUT THEN SHE KINDA LIKE is giving up but yet does not want to and if you ARE STRONG AS EVERYONE KNOWS AND SAY I AM,you do not give
   up people! remember this REAL LOVE ONLY COMES ALONG,ONCE IF YOUR LUCKY 2X
   but it is so rare in life,you NEED TO TRY YOUR HARDEST TO MAKE IT WORK.
   (Excluding drugs alcohol and cheating)AS THAT IS NOT REAL LOVE THAT IS
   OBSESSION TO ONE Another and desperation....RASHIID IN MY OPINION WAS
   "NOT PERFECT"BUT MORE THEN PERFECT FOR HIS ASHA,as he so affectionally call her.. HIS SWEET ASHA.......
   
   i know from PERSONAL experience that asha bandele story is so true to life
   but will NOT discuss here but look out for my own tell all TRUE LOVE book
   coming out i am hearing now by mid or early new year's 2008. i can so
   wholeheartedly relate to this amazing heartfelt writer miss asha bandele
   rashid wife or by now EX wife,sadly to say because in my HONEST opinion?
   Rashid was and IS perhaps the BEST MAN SHE WILL EVER BE BLESSED FOR REST
   of her living days to come across.
   
   they were great together you can FEEL his SEVERELY INTENSE AMOR for her
   but yet she did say he was the BEST MAN SHE EVER MET,AND the MOST BEAUTY,
   most beautiful man inside and out she ever came across laid her eyes on
   etc.but yet sad about how the ending of this LOVE STORY has ended.not goin
   to give the ending let us just say she leaves us in TEARS emotions running
   wild during each chapter but was completely ambiguous towards the ending
   but yet we really did not know what HAPPEN AT THE END OF THEIR so called
   "love story?
   i had was bless to find out LATER what had actually went down between her
   and her beloved handsome beautiful good loyal man rashiid NOT by the ending of this book but another way,and i am just going to say that was
   sad as i do think if it was really as she says so often TRUE LOVE she and
   rashiid would have _________________________________________-
   you can fill in the blanks.
   but still and all i am so happy to have contributed and bought the book $
   was well worth it,will read it as i am still creating mine,writing,just
   about done in completion with my manuscript on TRUE,NOT JUST LOVE BUT
   TRUE LOVE UNCONDITIONAL WHOLEHEARTEDLY WONDERFUL BLISSFUL PRISON LOVE
   Where as to me this was NOT that type of love BUT WAS SOME TYPE OF LOVE
   between her and rashiid,but TRUE LOVE LAST AS REAL LOVE IS "ETERNAL"AS
   IT HAS NO Happy ending,it's just ETERNAL...T.D.D.U.P.(till death do us part)as me and my sweetheart code we always use to and do say,till death do us part)but unfortunately for amazing as rashiid DEFINITELY WAS TO
   ASHA AND TO HIMSELF AFTER "ALL THE PAIN"AND HEARTACHE AT 17 he caused
   then to become a real man by going to prison 15 years in he meets asha
   his beloved,just so sad they came so FAR,JUST TO HAVE IT END the way it
   did.was NOT true love in the end to me,but was DEFINITELY STRONG LOVE
   there.
   good book giving it because of how it ended in the book so ambiguous and
   later what i did actually find out about her and rashiid i am giving it
   a 4 star NOT five,because of her giving up it seem later on and afterward.
   but do love the fact the daughter they do now share around 8 now or 9 yrs
   old will always be part of them for eternal.just too bad their love was
   not....



2. Although the title of my review is a bit cliche this book made me cry. It's a true love story. You can feel the pain and triumph in this realtionship and it is a genuine portrait of love in the worst of circumstances.



3. I loved this book. Certain audiences may be more receptive then others. It takes an open mind to read, I saw one reviewer who felt prisoners should live isolated lives. Until you have a family member go through the judicial system, you would be ignorant and unable to speak on this real life ordeal.
   Asha has a poet's voice. The way she describes her feelings, her surroundings and her love is beautiful. I cried several times while reading this book. It was all too real. Their love was the same, genuine, deep, heart wrenching.
   The ending was shocking to me. I couldnt put it down. I would recommend it to say the least!



4. I have read the prisoner's wife, and it breaks my heart to think that a educated woman such as asha could believe that being with a man in prison is a love story. I too am the wife of a prisoner, my son's father have been in prison for over 20 years. We have been married for over 12 years, the experience for me is anything but pleasant. Often times I am lonely and frustrated. And sometimes I have to pretend to be "alright", just to protect him, when really deep inside I am hurting, and need to be understood. Alot of people do not know that I am married.For me, saying that my husband is an inmate, is not anything to proud of. I think it is a shame for a woman, such as Asha, to put out in words that marrying someone in prison is ideal. Alot of men in prison our very selfish. They're in no position to be a husband.



5. This book was excellent. I never thought that poetry and prose could flow together so fluidly. This book was chosen for my book club some time ago. Asha was vulnerable and real. She was figuritively and literally the wife of a prisoner. Rashid was her husband as well as her bondage. As a high school student perusing the life of this complete stranger I was empathetic to her pain. If you have ever searched for completion in your life or been held hostage by your heart this is a book that you can follow and a life you can relate to.

5 comments about The Sexual Life of Catherine M..

1. ...I made a decision to make myself available at all times, because it made me feel free." Catherine Millet
   
   One of my amazon.com friends whose opinion I value a lot, says in his review on Catherine Millet's memoir that if it "is truly as bad as others suggest in their negative reviews below, why then did it sell over 300,000 copies when it was first published in France?" Well, I have a counter question, how many of 300,000 returned it back? I first learned about "The Sexual Life of Catherine M." from a review in "Entertainment Weekly" back in 2002 and I instantly became very interested in reading Millet's book. It was written by obviously intelligent educated woman, editor of the French art magazine Art Press by day and insatiable Messalina who doesn't make any secret of her 30 years history of orgy-loving by night. I was not afraid of the multiple (I just could not guess how multiple) explicit sexual encounters and their shocking descriptions. I am an adult and I can accept and appreciate any honest, open, no matter how shocking and controversial book (or movie) as long as it is well written, interesting to me, touches me deeply, even makes me angry but certainly makes me feel, makes me to identify with its author, to understand at least their motivations...Well, I felt nothing of these when I began reading my copy of English translation of the memoir that I bought from my local book store. I became bored very soon. The endless line of faceless men having sex with the strangely passive author, or rather her alter ego, Catherine M. in all possible and impossible Paris locations for hours and hours; one all-night party after another and another and yet another simply could not hold my interest for 209 pages of the rather short book and I never finished it. I returned it to the store and received the full refund. I would not say that "The Sexual Life of Catherine M." is the worst book ever written and I am sure it's got the loyal fans and admirers but I did not enjoy it and at some point I realized that I was wasting my time. I expect from a memoir something more than monotonous descriptions of endless anonymous sex acts with every man who happened just pass by Mlle. M. The book has been compared often to "The Story of O" by Pauline Reage and I disagree with it. "The Story of O" which was written by a French mistress for her married lover is the love letter and the statement on how far a woman in love was ready to go for her beloved. "The Story of O" is sad and beautiful, erotic and strangely innocent, cruel and elegiac. It is a fine work of literature which "The Sexual Life of Catherine M." in my opinion is not.



2. this book is divided into 4 sections. the first section, entitled numbers,describes the numerous, numberless, men with whom catherine has sexual activities in groups, small groups at first, later orgies, the largest about 150 participants.
   
   the aggregates done with she moves on to her second section, space, sexual activities outdoors, often while positioned to scan bucolic landscapes. millet writes of pictorial works and how they are 'said to inhabit the cusp between imaginary space and the space we live in, be they barnett newman's vast colored expanses (newman himself said: i declare space), the radiant blues in the work of yves klein (who called himself the 'painter of space') or even alain jacquet's topological surfaces and objects which juxtapose paradoxical abysses. what characterizes these works is not the fact that they open space up, but that they both open and seal it again'.
   
   from her inner and outer open space, she proceeds to her third section, confined space. confined space isn't just a room or an elevator or a place, confined space, for millet, is having sexual activities while ill, sexual activities in dirty places, with unclean persons, and acts considered taboo, a few of them, but not many, she would not do.
   
   in confined space, jacques, catherine's husband, makes his entrance with his camera, and it's back to open spaces where he frames her in the confined space framed by the camera.
   
   in the concluding section, details, millet reflects on forms of objectivism, with observations of her shyness, rigidity after orgasm, her body as willing surface as represented in memory and filmed by a video camera.
   
   so there it is, her sexual life through number to canvas to camera to video camera. these days her sexual experiences are reflected by a steady stream of women attracted, for whatever reasons, to act in porn, and women who use online chatrooms. with objectification there is no voice. that's the difference with millet, she voices her interior world, her mental activity, as well as describing in detail, sexual acts and the female orgasm.
   
   a good book, a very good book.



3. Catherine Millet's sexual development autobiography is a must-read for all women in the United States who've ever had "dirty thoughts" but failed to act on them for fear of society's labels. This is Millet's true life account of her self discovery, pains and many pleasures that may not ring kosher with US audiences, but should be read by all women as an honest account of a woman's sexual desires and dreams. Tp hell with chopra and "venus and mars" books! This is the real deal! Vive La France!!!



4. 
   Book-length accounts of one's real-life sexual exploits always run the risk of being insipid, monotonous, and just plain boring. After all, how many times can you describe the act circumscribed by the limitations of a non-fictional human body, especially when you confine yourself primarily to describing yourself as the focal point of the action.
   
   For the most part, Catherine Millet avoids the peril of this sort of writing not so much by the variety of her sexual proclivities--aside from a stupendous and indiscriminate promiscuity bordering, if not altogether crossing over into nymphomania, she's pretty vanilla--as by the super-lucid intellectual precision with which she analyses the physical, mental, and emotional ramifications of her sexuality.
   
   Despite its subject, this is not a titillating read; the matter-of-fact nature of the writing matches what strikes me as the author's straightforward, almost typically "masculine" approach to getting it on. ((Millet is, by her own admission, relatively uninterested in seduction and prefers to move straight to the main event.)) That being so, one might suppose that, if not erotic, the primary value of this book would reside in how it illuminates some general truths about human sexuality--in this case, female sexuality. But how much can a woman--or a human being, for that matter--who lays on a car hood in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night and allows herself to be taken by ten, twenty, thirty, she loses track of the number, of guys have in common with even the most uncommon of common women? As a work of human sexual archaeology, *The Sexual Life of Catherine M.* thus fails to enlighten us very much about human sexuality in general; it becomes, instead, a sort of believe-it-or-not account of what might reasonably be called one particular woman's sexual pathology.
   
   And yet, one might still, and easily, find something of oneself in these pages for Millet is so brutally, clinically honest and so unsparing of detail that she doesn't flinch from even the most hushed-over aspects of monkeying around. There are also passages and reflections of a philosophical depth and subtlety, such as when Millet writes of wishing she could wake in a strange bed every morning to revel in the novelty of a new perspective on life. Behind Millet's compulsive and voracious carnal appetite, there is a drive to experience everything--and everyone--a desire as admirable as it is unfulfillable given the limitations of our mortal flesh.
   
   Reflections such as these raise *The Sexual Life of Catherine M.* above the level of the merely lurid into the realm of soul-searching mediation on life in general and our finitude in the face of infinity.
   
   While many will no doubt file this book under "Way Too Much Information," Millet is actually talking about a good deal more than what she seems to be at first glance--she is using sexuality the way the artists she chronicles as an art critic use art: as a means to understand self and world. We don't complain, but rather admire, an artist who takes risks and their art to extremes: perhaps we should likewise admire a woman like Millet.
   
   *The Sexual Life of Catherine M.* is probably one of those books that someone had to write. If nothing else, Millet has done us this service.



5. I thought this was an interesting read, though it gets a little dry and to be honest I read it in parts. The narrative structure is loose and that makes it a little bit difficult to read, as she just tends to skip around and some of the wording is hard to wade through, but I think that has a lot to do with the translation and not how she writes. I hope. I took a star off for the poor editing.
   
   I liked her cool impersonal style. She doesn't proselytize and pretty much tells it like it is giving a rundown on the men she was with and some of the ways. I don't believe she was trying to be titillating and that shows. I also think that's what a lot of people expected and are put off by the book cause it runs a little too sterile for their tastes.
   
   I do think she gave a pretty good explanation for her philosophical approach to sex, contrary to what other reviewers here stated. I just think they are used to the typical angst towards sex and sexuality that you find a lot in American books. None of that here and how refreshing it is!
   
   There is a lot of repetition though and I have to warn you that it does get a little boring reading about one orgy after another done in such a detached style. But again I loved the unapologetic, free approach to men and her sexuality that she had and her philosophy towards sex was interesting in and of itself.

5 comments about House Rules: A Memoir.

1. House Rules raises a compelling question about the effects emotional abuse from a parent can have on a child. Rachel's father is a well respected doctor, takes his family on expensive trips, and even sends Rachel to wilderness camp. But in the privacy of their home he is overbearing and controlling to the point of recording his daughter's phone calls and conversations. He also insists on her hair and nails being a certain length, and verbally abuses Rachel until she is even eventually removed from her home for a while. Most damaging of all, Rachel documents her father's drugging her mother with lithium to keep her passive. Even after reading all of this, I felt kind of a detachment from the story. I was excited to read about it to gain some insight into all of the controversy surrounding this book, but compared to the outstanding memoir, The Glass Castle, House Rules falls short. Sontag does not allow the reader to feel for her, for some reason the story feels more like she wrote it as a series of facts. I think it would have helped for her to divulge more about her parents past and what may have led her father to such an extreme behavior. Don't get me wrong, I think some of the things he did are awful, but required more depth and detail for such a book.



2. I couldn't put it down. I think most dysfunctional families have a core of mental illness or mental instability. This was a fascinating look at parents who were able to function in the world and even appeared to be well outside the home but, were unable to parent effectively or have healthy interactions in their most intimate relationships. Most people think that middle class parents who hold down jobs must naturally be doing well by their children. Some people mention that because these children had expensive vacations and all of their physical needs taken care of that they shouldn't "complain" that they were mentally abused by mentally ill or unstable parents. A child gets their entire first picture of themselves, the world, right and wrong, and everything else from their parents. This book shines a light on how that first picture being presented in a dysfunctional family may affect children and therefore the adults they become. It was a great read.



3. It's hard to know what to say after reading memoirs of abuse. Saying that I loved this book doesn't seem right somehow, because it is a sad and troubling portrayal of a person's real life, and it was somewhat of a disturbing book to read. But I did love the way Sontag wrote about her family, the way she put it all out there and let the reader experience what she (unfortunately) experienced in her life. I have no doubt that her father was every bit as terrifying as she made him sound, probably more so, and reading this book simply made me feel sad for her. I actually truly feel for Sontag, because when I was growing up, I went through similar types of things with my father... he wasn't anywhere NEAR as abusive and controlling as hers, but he did do some of the same kinds of controlling and abnormal behaviors with myself, my mom, and my brothers and sister. So coming from that perspective, I truly understand and appreciate her telling this story and needing to tell it in order to heal from her past. At the end of the book, Sontag explores her relationships with her mother and sister as they stand now, and I truly hope, for her sake, that those three women are able to patch up their relationships with each other and lean on each other. I've learned through my life that the only people you can really count on are your family - and when some members of your family are less than ideal, you really need to stick by those family members who ARE there for you. So I hope that they can forge a friendship with one another from here on out.
   
   I'd definitely recommend this book, especially if you like memoirs, this one is a really good, quick read.



4. Read this book! If you work with children in any capacity, this is a must read. The writing is powerful and you walk away from it better understanding the effects of verbal, emotional, and mental abuse.
   
   Calling out crazy is a brave thing to do, especially when there is a lot on the line. Rachel - Kudos for finding your voice and using it!



5. Rachel Sontag wrote the chronicle of growing up with verbal and emotional abuse from her physician father and her doormat mother in this book. I think she endured some incredibly awful things with her control freak dad. Throughout the book I kept wanting her to get older and escape him and to set some boundaries with her mom. It's sad that estrangement has to happen but when there is someone who treats others the way Rachel's father treated his loved ones, it's the only way to cope. I've learned the hard way that self-preservation is more important than doing what others expect of me as I had similar experiences with a family member who was verbally abusive to me when I was young and on into my later years. Bravo to Rachel for setting some boundaries and then daring to tell her story. I really enjoyed the book and I hope she and her sister will remain close.

5 comments about The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference.

1. Reviewed by Tyler R. Tichelaar for Reader Views (8/08)
   
   Childhood trauma. Honesty about one's personal faults. A dramatic recovery program. These elements all add up to make Irene Watson's "The Sitting Swing: Finding the Wisdom to Know the Difference" an eventful, meaningful, and poignant tale of one woman's struggle to overcome her repressive family background, the anger that arises from her treatment in childhood, and her own deepest inner faults, so she can become whole, successful, positive, and ultimately a resource of help to others.
   
   The story begins when the author, Irene Watson, attends Avalon, a recovery center. As a practicing therapist, Irene goes to Avalon to learn more about addictions and codependency. She wants to help her clients, but she has no idea how the experience will help her personally. When she arrives at the center, she soon realizes she will be spied upon by cameras, the counselors are aggressive and in her face, and she has issues she did not want to admit before. This unexpected situation causes her to question why she has come at all. The narrative then flashes back to Irene's memories of her childhood to explain what ultimately brought her to Avalon.
   
   Irene begins telling her story by detailing her family background. Her parents and grandparents were Ukrainian immigrants to early nineteenth-century Canada. Their culture and language make Irene isolated when she begins to attend an English-speaking school. She tries to melt into the crowd by befriending the other children, but her family continually stands in her way when she tries to have a "normal" childhood.
   
   Irene's biggest struggle is with her over-protective and irrational mother. Irene's brother, Alexander, died before she was born. The loss of this child and her mother's sense of guilt over his death cause Irene to live a protected life. The memoir's title refers to the swing Irene could barely move because of the rose bushes surrounding it. This forced confinement is a metaphor for her life with a mother who denies her playing with other children or even allowing her to be herself.
   
   As Irene reaches her teenage years, the narrative becomes quite frightening since the very real possibility exists that Irene could have become a juvenile delinquent, and some of the angry actions she contemplates taking toward the narrow-minded people of her town could have had irrecoverable consequences. Fortunately, Irene had one friend, Margie, to confide in and who helps her see the irrationality of some of her proposed actions. I found this section painfully honest because it suggests how badly children need attention and role models and the consequences to a society that mistreats its children. Eventually, Irene finds the strength to stand up to her mother when she falls in love and gets married. However, even when she has moved out of her parents' house, the trauma of her childhood continues to haunt her.
   
   Irene's experiences at the Avalon Center are told with equal frankness. She finds herself forced to confront her deepest shortcomings, realize she must forgive her mother, and take responsibility for herself, rather than blaming her past. She also finds the courage to make changes to her marriage. The final chapter of the book is not a warm and fuzzy conclusion but rather a very honest and realistic summary of how she has grown from the frightened and repressed little girl she was into a mature woman.
   
   "The Sitting Swing" is an inspiring story. Readers will empathize with Irene, and they will be motivated to begin their own spiritual journeys of recovery. While the path is not easy, Irene is proof that serenity is achievable. More than anything, readers will be impressed with Irene Watson's honest voice and her straightforward colloquial writing style that makes us realize we are a lot like her, and consequently, if she could recover from her past, then anything is possible for us as well.
   
   This revised edition of "The Sitting Swing" also includes a new afterword and appendices to provide additional resources for people seeking to recover. Anyone, whether a recovering addict or co-dependent, or victim of abuse, will find strength in this narrative. "The Sitting Swing: Finding the Wisdom to Know the Difference" is highly recommended!



2. 
   Reviewed by Kam Aures for RebeccasReads.com (8/08)
   
   
   In this powerful memoir, Irene Watson shares the story of her sheltered and painful childhood, how it shaped the person she became, and the steps she took to heal her wounds and to change her life for the better. The book begins on day one of her twenty-eight day stint in Avalon, a recovery center. On the surface, her reason for checking into the center was to fit in, as she had numerous friends who had graduated from the program and raved about how it had changed their lives. Also a practicing therapist, Watson thought that putting herself through the program would provide her with more insight into the issues of her patients. Deep down, however, she knew that there were different reasons for her stay.
   
   After the introduction to Avalon, Irene presents to us the events that took place during her childhood that molded her adult life. One of the first things that would have an impact on her happened before she was even born and this was the birth and subsequent passing of her brother Alexander. The death of 2 ½ month old Alexander definitely had an influence on the way that her mother raised Irene. Although her mother really never had a chance to know Alexander, she envisioned him as the "good child" and held Irene to the high standards that she believed he possessed. Irene's mother sheltered her from so much, but failed to believe her or protect her when she was being abused by cousins and by bullies. Irene was not allowed to think for herself as her mother pretty much dictated whatever she did.
   
   The story of Irene's past continues through her marriage to her husband Bob. Then the setting shifts again back to the Avalon center and the treatment process. We watch as Irene delves deep into her past through a series of exercises in an effort to recreate herself and change her and her family's life.
   
   I found "The Sitting Swing" to be a very honest and inspiring memoir. I applaud Irene's willingness to share with us her journey, and I think that everyone reading this book will be able to take something away from it. As a parent to two young boys, her issues with her mother opened my eyes to a lot of things. I learned to not be too overprotective of my children, to be sure to listen to them, and to be honest when explaining things to them.
   
   Irene's style of writing draws you in from the first page and the book flows smoothly until the last page is turned. She is an extremely talented writer and her experiences are very touching. The last half of the last chapter even gave me goose bumps. I highly recommend "The Sitting Swing;" Irene's words are so real that you cannot help but to be inspired by her journey.



3. 
   Wow! Irene Watson you must have been living in my house! A truly tremendous memoir of being raised by immigrant parents in an era where the "eye" gave you the discipline rules. Irene takes us through her life from childhood to adulthood being raised by the "old rules." In a life that didn't include saying "I love you" or hugs, kisses and resulted in a woman who was ruled by taking care of others.
   
   I the reader lived the same life being brought up by a mother from England- my mom, as Irene's didn't have to say a word- she showed it through body language. We were to be perfect- dad was the breadwinner and didn't participate in parenting. Irene's thoughts about how she would always show she was perfect led with much disappointment by her critical parents. Struggling for their lifestyle- moving around and never being able to develop those social skills- oh- what a life we led.
   
   As an adult, Irene struggled with who she was and whom she was going to rescue. Co-dependency in all of us. We always strive to save others before ourselves. She finally went to a treatment center, which most of us in the helping field attended. They built you up and tore you down. I had vivid memories of my own time in treatment as a developing counselor when I read this account. You think you are helping and then you ended up questioning your own existence. Unlike Irene I wasn't married at the time, but I have questioned my marriage as she did- how much can we do?
   
   As a psychologist and college professor this is a book I have recommended to all for their library- we think we are infallible but we all have hidden ghosts- even as therapists.
   
   Irene you could be my sister- you have truly given me the ability to see how my childhood not only directed my profession- but also made me really look at who I am. I have read, cried, vowed to change and feel completely at peace after reading this. You are my angel.



4. Insecurity! All of us have encoutered it in our lives at one time or another. The question I pose is this,how many of us have the courage to face it openly? How many of us have the strength put it out there to be seen,shared,and observed by the rest of the world? Author Irene Watson was unfortunately exposed to the following in her life; Tortured by mother and ignored by father; physically abused by her cousin,controlled by her husband Bob; and refused to trust women due to the dysfuctional relationship she and her mother shared. Despite the series of uninfortunate events she was exposed to Irene chose not become a victim to it all. For prevention purposes, she voluntarily checked herself into the Avalon clinic for 28 days. Skeptical about Counselor Gille and his healing methods at first, she comes to find that attending the Avalon clinic provided exactly what she needed to become the successful wife, mother,friend,author,and business woman she is today. The Sitting Swing is a prime example of how successful you can become spiritually from the inside as well as the outside if you deal with your issues at hand appropropriately. More imporantly, as stated by Author Irene Watson, forgiveness plays a vital role in getting it going. I would recommend this book to all rehablitation clinics that place emphasis on healing from a spiritual standpoint.
   
   Adra Young:Author of The Everyday Living of Children & Teens Monologues



5. Watch Video Here: http://www.amazon.com/review/R2DEDQ2T0CBDMN This short video is a great introduction to the story of The Sitting Swing and Irene's reclamation of self.