5 comments about Brother, I'm Dying.

1. Ms. Danticat writes a enlivening account of a painful Haiti. She shook and defied the Haiti that I was raised in. She gave a voice to the millions of Haiti who are caught up in the hopeless situation. She also challenged the Haitians who are too comfortable to notice the misery around them. Each page reminded me of a Haitian that I was shielded from, each angered me, made me cried, hurt me and in the end showed many opportunities that i have missed to promote social justice in my own land. Each page is a riveting, raw as the last one and gives the reader a different definition of justice both in Haiti and in the United States. Bravo!



2. You'd have to be made of stone not to be affected by this lovely, touching memoir by one of our finest writers, writing about her relationships with her two fathers. The fact that she is so eloquent and able to convey this story so well brings it sharply into focus. And that an innocent man, fleeing for his life, is treated with such unbelievable disregard makes me ashamed to be an American.



3. This narrative has all the ingredient necessary to produce a ...say...corny story. However, thanks to Danticat's honesty and brilliance, it turned out been a great book, a painful narrative.
   
   The worst thing on it? It's that it's all true, no fiction at all, unfortunately.



4. Edwidge Danticat is a talented writer. In Brother, I'm Dying, she weaves a family story in with the history of Haiti with wonderful results. The book is touching on both counts; with Danticat dealing with the illness of her father and with the turbulence in Haiti where several members of her family still live. Heartbreaking and powerful. Highly recommended.



5. Edwidge Danticat is possibly the best American fiction writer of the younger generation. Her novels and story collections have cut a broad swath through the history of 20th century Haiti and the Haitian diaspora. Their virtues include lyric and narrative pleasures, a plainspoken and elegant voice, intelligence and intelligibility, and the bridging of two cultures separated by language and mutual misunderstanding.
   
   With Brother, I'm Dying, Danticat expands upon the gift for nonfiction she first demonstrated in her book about carnival in Jacmel. This time, she tackles memoir by way of family history, a private story that stands in for hundreds of thousands of other private stories and has deep public policy implications. Through the Dantica and Danticat families, we get an up-close-and-personal look at the terrors of Haitian history from Papa Doc to the present, alongside the beauties of place and people too often underexplored in newspaper accounts of Haiti.
   
   The book's velocity increases toward the end, when Danticat's uncle is run out of Port-au-Prince by street gangs, only to encounter the surprisingly deadlier American immigration system. This part of the story is the most deeply felt section of a deeply felt book, and the reader wants to scream with outrage and the indignities Danticat's uncle suffers, and especially at the unwillingness of the immigration authorities to respond humanely to his illness, his difficulties in communicating, or his family's quite reasonable requests that he receive proper medical and legal attention.
   
   I find myself grieving now, after finishing this book, and I want to know what I can do to make my country more compassionate. Certainly, Haitians receive shabbier treatment than almost any other ethnicity in our immigration and legal system, and, like Danticat, I find myself wondering why, and suspecting that it might be a manifestation of the worst prejudices we have not yet laid to rest.
   
   It is true that books can be about virtuous things without being very good, but the urgency the reader feels about the book's subject owes much to the extraordinary power of the writing. If Danticat were a writer who chose subject matter of a lesser intensity, I believe that more critics would write about the sentences, the structural choices, the wise management of information in her books. That they do not is a testament to the power of the stories she chooses to tell, and her ability to get out of the way and give character and story center stage rather than the pyrotechnics of language which she is certainly capable of exhibiting.

5 comments about Summer at Tiffany.

1. The summer of '45 was full of discoveries for the author: New York City, the elegance of Tiffany's, the euphoric end to WWII, happenings with friends, and meeting a beau. Well-written picture of the times. A really fun read - highly recommended.



2. This memoir of working as one of the first women on the sales floor at Tiffany & Co. was informative and sweet, but a bit dull. It's an easy read and definitely suitable for a young adult reader. If you like stories about New York and "career girl" narratives you might enjoy it. I'd hoped for a bit more.



3. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, fun to hear about life during the 40's and what New York City was like back then. Fun book to read!



4. Not to be confused with the infamous Holly Golightly caper, this charming tale takes us back to the turquoise corridors of Tiffany, where jewels twinkle and customers include Marlene Dietrich and Judy Garland. This time, the heroines are two Iowa-bred "long-limbed, blue eyed blondes" who are traveling to Manhattan to find summer work. The catch? The hordes of other hungry co-ed girls hellbent on the same glamorous goal.
   
   Far from pretentious fare like Nichole Ritchie's "The Truth about Diamonds," this memoir of two college girls hoofing it into Manhattan in search of summer work is a career girl's tale at heart. From their initial dizzy hysteria of job hunting, to working the mysterious connections of a family friend, the story perfectly captures the plummeting feeling of job rejection, and the giddy glee of being hired for even the most menial tasks when set in glamorous Manhattan. With this mindset, Marjorie and her best friend Marty become the first-ever female store pages for Tiffany, delivering packages to the shipping and receiving department. The irony that they work among glittering diamonds and pearls on a salary of $20 is not lost on them, even in 1945 when the book is set.
   
   Indeed, this is period literature, but only in the most lightly pleasing way. From dancing the Charleston to Frank Sinatra's "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" to scrambling on her hands and knees to recover the precious pearls that have spilled all over the elevator floor on her way to the Tiffany Diamond and Pearl room (yes, it's real), Hart is a charming heroine whose adventures equal an endearing coming-of-age tale, wrought with Tiffany glamour and winsome World War II overtones.
   
   The overall result is a book that is special, light-hearted without being shallow, and perfectly satisfying as a summer beach read. If you want summer reading but need a break from stilettos and cosmopolitans, this little blue jewel of a book will transport you in no time.



5. Cute. That would be the best word to describe this short, particularly sweet memoir. Going into it, I was waiting for vast accounts of the inner workings of one of the most fantastic stores ever to exist. The tome is more character driven than tell-all, which I would assume stems from the era the author comes from (that is, polite and loyal). I could have done without the dozens of "Ohmygosh!"s that were sprinkled quite liberally throughout the narrative - it was distracting, irritating, and took away credibility from the writer. The naive charm still held me captive, though: I received a glimpse of a time where girls still wore gloves and hats, were polite and charming, and treated everyday as if it were a glamorous event. The backdrop of World War Two gave the book more depth, thankfully, for without it the story would have drooped from saccharine sweetness. The descriptions of the now-antiquated stores and sweetshops were divine, and the cameos from celebrities like Marlene Dietrich and Judy Garland were quite nice, as well. (Watch out for the sub-plot with Yale...it felt like a forced dilemma for the main character and also quite unrealistic). All in all, I loved seeing New York as it never will be again, especially after 9/11. A lovely look inside a rare moment of time, this book will most definitely cheer you up. That's all it's really there for, I guess. Charming.

5 comments about Baghdad Burning: Girl Blog from Iraq.

1. I have staunchly opposed the invasion of Iraq even before it became a reality, but not even I, with my distate for the neocons and the mockery of America that is George W. Bush, expected this to turn out this poorly. But we only see, for the most part, the bad things when the victims are US - Americans.
   
   I'm so glad this book is out. It shows the reality Iraqis face, and it shows that by and large this immoral war made their lives worse.
   
   To end my review, I'm not surprised some Americans wrote in her blog that she wasn't Iraqi (I guess speaking English makes one NOT non-American?) and one even said that had it been up to him, he would have vaporized Iraq 10 minutes after the WTC fell... this after Bush went on national TV and admitted Iraq had NOTHING to do with 9/11.



2. "When Bush 'brought the war to the terrorists,' he failed to mention he wouldn't be fighting it in some distant mountains or barren deserts: the frontline is our homes, and the 'collateral damage' is our friends and families."
   
   Riverbend, a young Iraqi woman, writes jarring dispatches from her deteriorating city of Baghdad as it descends into the chaos following the 2003 invasion. Her blog, which is clearly aimed at American readers, provides a window into Iraqi life under occupation far beyond the sanitized reports filling our TV screens and newspapers. She describes daily battles we seldom hear about, such as the battle for sleep in the hellish summer heat when the electricity is cut off most of the time; the battle for an education when schools are raided and the country suffers marked 'brain drain' with the flight of many of its intellectuals; the inner battle for the courage to go out shopping after fundamentalist militias begin beating and abducting women. She tells of sleeping in her clothes every night, pockets stuffed with valuables and identification papers...just in case...and the aunt who orders Riverbend's brother to keep watch on the roof while she bathes, because she doesn't want to be caught naked should American troops suddenly burst into their home. Tragedy is always close by, with the abduction of a cousin, arrest of a neighbor, and violent death of another neighbor while visiting relatives.
   
   Riverbend's moving personal narrative is complemented by biting, often witty political commentary and passages from various 'links' on Riverbend's blog. Her depiction of life as an Iraqi woman completely dismantles the claim that the war 'liberated' the country's women, who are now forced to cope with U.S.-backed Shiite fundamentalist militias such as Badir's Brigade, known for terrorizing women who refuse to wear the hijab. As a female, Riverbend is forced to give up a good job as a computer programmer, and watches with dread as the Coalition Provisional Authority installs extremists on the Iraq Governing Council, which she deems "the most elaborate puppet show Iraq has ever seen."
   
   Though her blog paints an ominous picture of the situation in Iraq, Riverbend uplifts her many readers with the very humanness we are so rarely allowed to glimpse through the dehumanizing rhetoric of war. The ability of an ordinary (though in many ways extraordinary) young woman to reach audiences around the world is an inspiring testament to the democratic potential of the dawning Information Age.



3. I have been to Iraq (recently)and e-mail daily with many Iraqis. This blog was NOT written by a genuine Iraqi girl. My suspicion is that it was written by someone from the US who is/was over there. There is a cadence in the writing of Arabs writing English that this blog totally lacks. Her opinion are those of what an American (probably living in the Green Zone) thinks Iraqi girls should write. I have never heard any young Iraqi woman (and I know several) who know so little about Iraqi history, Arab culture, Islam etc. Her vocabulary choices are completely wrong for a non-native speaker. I do humanitarian work in Iraq and I agree with many of her sentiments (I hate Bush, the war etc), but I still think this is not what it claims to be. Sadly, people seem to want it to be real, instead of listening to actual Iraqi girls/ women who have more interesting things to say.



4. I really liked that this was a real blog, I can't wait to read the next one. Riverbend does talk alot about politics in the book and I am not real good w/ politics so I was having a hard time following it all and those parts were kinda boring me to death, so I skipped around alot. What I was hoping to read more of was her daily life, what she does around the house or outside or where ever. Just what HER day to day life is like during the war. But even though I had to skip around alot, I absolutely love the book. Her blog is so long I have alot of catching up to do. I hope they put her whole blog into books, its so much easier to take it everywhere or even in bed than be stuck at a computer reading it.



5. With the Internet, we are now able to read accounts of war by noncombatants who are not journalists - while the war is happening, even as armies invade and bombs fall. Someone has called Iraq the first postmodern war in that we get simultaneous reports of what is happening from many different points of view besides the "official" ones. This remarkable blog by a young woman in Baghdad is a day-by-day record of the experience of the war in her city - and told from the perspective of someone not unlike her Western readers (so convincingly that some readers consider her blog a hoax). She writes fluent English and is familiar with American culture; she is educated, urbane, politically informed, and computer savvy (having worked at a software company before the war - a job that was lost at least in part because she is a woman in a rising tide of fundamentalist sentiment). Most of all, she demolishes any stereotypes of Iraqis that Westerners might have - stereotypes that often serve to justify the war itself.
   
   In the 13 months covered in this published volume of her blog, we see the American invasion become an occupation, and the initial sporadic resistance to it evolve into a widespread insurgency with a mounting death toll. The focus, unlike news coverage, is on the casualties among noncombatants, and we are reminded on nearly every page of what it is like to live life literally "under the gun." And in a city where law and order are up for grabs, citizens must arm themselves for protection, while running the risk of being taken for "terrorists" because they are armed. Added to that, there are daily explosions, kidnappings, home invasions, and the continuing problem of power shortages. Meanwhile, the TV and internet news reveal the blunders of the American authorities and the follies of a do-nothing, American-installed provisional government. Then we hear again of the siege of Fallujah, with its staggering loss of civilian life, and finally the humiliations on all sides of the photos released from Abu Ghraib. Most poignant and disturbing is her retelling of the 1991 Amiriyah Shelter massacre, in which 400 women and children were killed by an American missile during the Gulf War.
   
   There is understandably a lot of anger in this book. While certainly justified - often even restrained and measured - the book avoids becoming an endless and wearying diatribe. The mood modulates among a range of emotions and attitudes. We are treated at times to interesting descriptions of Iraqi culture, accounts of daily routines (like filling the water tank on the roof), and reports, laced with irony, of the laughable incompetence of appointed public officials, plus rejoinders to readers who have sent her emails revealing their own ignorance. Finally, the book is a record of clinging to sanity in a world gone very wrong. For those who support the war, don't support it, or are indifferent about it, it's important to read for what it has to say about the impact of foreign policy decisions on those whose lives are - through no fault of their own - suddenly in harm's way.

5 comments about Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us.

1. The format of this book makes it real hard to read and detracts greatly from the content. Your eyes have to dart from one side of a page to the other and back again then to the middle. The content is important but on the edge of the spectrum which makes it even more difficult to read at times with the far fetched concepts. I'm not a big fan of this one.



2. This is an amazing, amazing book. It's easy to read, engaging, and the tone is casual but the content is rich and nuanced - both accesible and intelligent. If you only read three books in your life, this should be one of them. I'm not exaggerating.



3. Gender Outlaw is considered a classic and a step forward. And it is, annoyingly.
   
   A lot of her fearless theory, proto-GenderQueer, I believe is totally right on - and certainly harmonizes with my ideal of Permanent Transition. Yet Bornstein, with her conventional SRS, might not the most compelling proponent of smashing the binary chains. Like Trotsky, Bornstein has a populist (often gimmicky) style in which to place her epistemology and, like Trotsky, Bornstein is a tireless self-publicist: Just how many times does the reader need to know she appeared on the Geraldo Show?
   
   Kinda the right book, by the wrong author.



4. I so wish I had read this book at 30 years of age. I so wish everyone would read this book.
   Kate Bornstein is right. There simply is no gender. Anima, animus.
   Sometimes we do need to have our ideas challenged. I am happy to have had my old ideas changed by this book. It seems to have given me answers for so many vague questions I had in my mind.
   Valuable book for heterosexual ppl and homosexual ppl. Valuable book for ppl.



5. You know this is not a subject that I know a whole lot about...though I do profess some interest and curiosity about the reasons why people choose gender reassignment surgery. Mostly I was interested in exploring the why's and if's about gender and the myriad of choices and ways of being that people encounter and deal with or embrace in their lives. I wasn't sure what to expect...and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about this book, but I've finished reading it and it's time to write down my thoughts about it. First and foremost, this is a book that doesn't just rehash the same debates one sees nearly everywhere these days about how little Tommy can play with dolls and Sally can play with cars or how Molly can be a doctor and Biff can be a nurse...this goes beyond what's considered politically correct or "allowable" excursions outside the comfort zone of the tribe. In Gender Outlaw Borenstein really tries to examine why we need gender at all and how gender is really determined in today's societies, she looks both backward and forward with regards to this issue in a way that is both informative and entertaining. Gender Outlaw is a strange blend of biography and gender theory written with a theatrical flair. The author is really not looking to redefine gender so much as she is looking to toss it out altogether, in favor of a gender model that is more dynamic and fluid. Now for what I didn't like about the book...well, I do understand that the author is an artist and performer at heart, but I read because I LIKE to read and while I like most of what I read to be entertaining and informative, I DON'T like to have to struggle to read it because the author thought it would be interesting and creative to create columns and make the reader have to read from side to side skipping about on the page. There is a serious lack of continuity in the format of the text that makes it a bear to read. Everything does not have to be performance; everything does not have to be art. Sometimes a book should just be a book. Outside of that, I enjoyed reading Gender Outlaw, I think the author wanted to reach the mainstream and this book is certainly readable and accessible to the general public...now if we could just get them to read it and open their minds to the ideas presented. Borenstein certainly got there with me, as I had no quarrel with the gender I've been assigned, but it certainly gave me lots of food for thought and I'll probably never think of gender the same way again. I give it a 4 stars (3.5 really, but since Amazon doesn't allow ½ stars, I'll settle for 4, round up instead of down).

5 comments about A Medieval Life: Cecilia Penifader of Brigstock, c. 1297-1344.

1. I recently read this book for a history class and have to say that the book is very enjoyable. It's brevity and clarity make it a great introduction to medieval history. Cecilia Penifader was a well-to-do peasant woman living in Brigstock, England in the early 14th century. Bennett uses Cecilia to introduce the reader to all aspects of peasant life in this time period. There are in-depth studies of economics, religion, living conditions, and gender roles, as well as other interesting facets of peasant life. Bennett also makes sure to include some interesting little tidbits, such as the role of contraception during this period.

   One of the best things to be said about this book is how Bennett highlights terms that the reader is most likely to not be familiar with. These words are listed in a handy glossary in the back of the book. Most people aren't familiar with terms such as heliot, so this addition to the book is very helpful. As mentioned above, the brevity and clarity of the book go a long way to making the text more enjoyable. The book foregoes footnotes and endnotes, which would certainly help the non-scholars who can't stand wading through tons of citations. There are also some nice diagrams that help the reader visualize various aspects of peasant life.

   The lack of footnotes and endnotes is a problem for the historian and student, such as myself. I wouldn't go so far as the other reviewer here and pan the entire book, but that reviewer certainly has a point. Bennett also relies on inference more than she probably should. Although her deductions seem sound, her conclusions, backed up with more evidence and properly cited, would have been much appreciated.

   I think this is an excellent survey text that would make a nice addition to any library. After reading the book, the reader can readily picture Cecilia and feel as if they almost know her, and any book that can accomplish that is always worth a read.




2. Its a good book, but they're nuts to think a 120 page paperback is worth 28 dollars. I was going to assign this to my class, but no way at that price.



3. This book was written to give the reader a sense of what life was like in the Middle Ages and it did, however, the author tried to use the life of Cecilia Penifader as an example-bad choice. There is very little information about this woman (especially to write a book over)and it was a guessing game at what she did or did not do. Without Cecila and her family information this book probably would have been 10 pages shorter and still given the reader a look into life in a medeival town.



4. This was an assigned book in my Medieval History class. It's not a thorough book, but that would be almost (if not entirely) impossible given the fact that Cecilia Penifader was a peasant and peasants' lives were irrelevant and unimportant to the rest of medieval society. Still, the book gives you a good understanding of what life would have been like for this particular woman in terms of work, religion, family, dealing with manorial courts and the harsh existence for peasants.
   
   I found the book interesting. It's an easy read and though the author has to make inferences about Penifader's life, it is a well written book that at least gives some "face" to the typically unknown peasant. Bennett (the author) uses records from the courts and other written records of the times to at least give a good outline of Penifader's life.



5. Admittedly I wasn't reading this book for pleasure, as I had to read it for a class, but it is very poor indeed. Okay, I'm not a PhD historian like Bennett, but that shouldn't mean my criticism is invalid. The book is an interesting concept, trying find out what a peasant's life was like, but is just FULL of "perhaps she did this..." and "maybe she did that..." Bennett, in reality, is writing a book about the medieval peasantry, trying to make it interesting and accessible to college students by making the book revolve around a character. However, the book proves condescending, and left me very frustrated as a slammed the book shut on the final page. Here are a few examples:
   
   "I felt as if Cecilia was demanding...that I write her life" p. 138
   
   And regarding the 'doodle' in the court records: "If Cecilia is the woman shown in this drawing, we can surmise that she was tall, thin, curly-headed, and perhaps the bearer of a prominent nose" p. 130
   
   As with many other textbooks for college, this was too expensive for only 138 pages, and should be the $10 it is in the Marketplace, not the $30 that my bookstore was charging.
   
   The unfortunate truth is that it will be very difficult to ever know what life was like for the average medieval peasant since they did not write anything, and Bennett's account seems to add no real value to this subject area, and the 'story' of Cecilia Penifader could have easily been summarized on a page or two.

5 comments about Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters' First 100 Years.

1. Let's just say I fell in love with the sisters so much that I adopted their last name. I am in awe of these remarkable woman, still. After living for more than a century they did not believe they had a story to tell. I am grateful that Amy Hill Hearth was able to convince them otherwise.
   Their accomplishments were remarkable not only what the two oldest sisters did but the entire Delany family. Their father Henry was borned into slavery, however, he did not use that as an excuse. All of the Delany children were trailblazers because there were no civil rights for people of color in the early 1900's. They did what they had to do, Bessie was honest and brutal as she felt it was her duty to tell people the truth. Sadie was considered the sweet one, however, she too was a go-getter.
   I recommend this book and the two other books that were co-authored by Amy Hill Hearth. Without Ms. Hearth these women and their stories would have never been told, I am thankful to her for bringing them into my life. I expected the sisters to live forever but Bessie died in 1995 shortly after turning 104 and Bessie at 109 in 1999. They are still alive in the hearts of many of us and in the pages of their books.



2. This book was recommended to me by my 95-year-old mother, and I must say it was an excellent recommendation.
   
   
   
   Author Amy Hill Hearth must have had numerous conversations with Sadie (age 102) and her "little sister" Bessie (100). The book is written with the words and the spirit of these two special ladies shining through each page. The Delany sisters were born to a father who was a former slave and who got an education and later became the first black bishop in the Episcopal Church. Their mother had white blood, but she chose to marry and socialize among the black race. As the sister explain, if you had one drop of black blood at that time, you were considered a Negro.
   
   
   
   The sisters describe their growing-up years and their gratitude for their parents' love, guidance, and the high standards of conduct which they held up to their children. They tell what is was like to be chased by the Ku Klux Klan, discriminated against by teachers and employers, and be the victims of the Jim Crow laws. They mention the illustrious black people, such as Adam Clayton Powell, and Cab Calloway, who were part of their social circle. They tell about their patriotism during WWI and WWII and in one of the most poignant comments in the book Bessie says, "We were good citizens, good Americans! We loved our country, even though it didn't love us back."
   
   
   
   This is a look back at American history by two women whose family was prominent in the black community, but mostly unknown in the white world.
   
   It is an eye-opener and is a wonderful story.



3. The Delany Sisters are simply a spectacular duo of fighters. Their story is one almost every person would find amazing. The way they see this world, and how their past experiences with Jim Crow and being colored in the South before the Civil Rights Movement shaped their perception of humans forever. The book is filled with very warm humor and it is essential to understand part of the complex psyche of 'colored' people in the United States today, which, by the way, is a term prefered by the Sisters over black or even African American to refer to themselves and their people.



4. "I'm not black, I'm brown!" So says Bessie Delany, at age 100. Despite her years of involvement in the Civil Rights movement, accepting its nomenclature wholesale isn't part of Bessie's personality. She's the feisty sister. Sadie, age 103, is the one who conquers by saying nothing - while going right ahead and doing exactly what she wants. Or by playing dumb, as she and Bessie both put it; but either way, it's always worked for Sadie. These two, the second black woman licensed as a dentist in New York and the first black woman to be appointed a New York City high school teacher, have lived together more years than not in their long lives; and as of this book's publication, they're still in their New York home and taking care of themselves just fine, thank you very much.
   
   What do they have to say? Plenty, mostly in alternating chapters. Their father was born a slave, and their mother's parents - a mulatto woman and a white man - couldn't marry because state law forbade it. That freed slave eventually became an Episcopal bishop, and all ten of his children became college-educated professionals. Sarah and Elizabeth Delany were old enough to be shocked and hurt when Jim Crow became the law of the South, and each had to find her own ways to survive and thrive in spite of both cultural and institutionalized prejudice. Relocating to Harlem, New York City opened new opportunities, but didn't take them away from that familiar struggle. Through it all, Sadie and Bessie lived by the creed their parents had taught them: You're here to do good. To which Sadie added her own maxim: Maybe I can change the world a little bit, by changing me.
   
   The challenges these two women faced are not familiar to me personally, in one sense, because I've never had to face racial prejudice. Yet in the way they met those challenges, with determination, realism ("As long as they need you, you've got that job"), and plenty of humor, any fellow human can surely find inspiration. A wonderful read!



5. I am so glad that I read this book. I found it uplifting and inspirational. How amazing that women like this lived, and I am so grateful they shared their story. It is not something I normally would have read, but I am grateful that I gave it my time. It was a very quick read.

5 comments about How to Snag a Guy and Keep Him Hooked: 99 Ways to Make Him Ache for You.

1. Hey, what you said in your book sounds like you're a fly on the wall when my boyfriend and I had a discussion about our relationship the other night we don't even kiss anymore, he's distant and it's just like you talked about- I really feel like he's cheating because of the reasons you talked about but I know I love him. I'm great at communicating and he's not but I know what I've got do about my situation now after reading what you said about a man's mind and how to talk to him.



2. Before I came across 'how to snag a guy and keep him hooked' I'd had some pretty poor success with men. I have a little bit of weight and I used to use that as my excuse for why men always dated me then dumped me. I was actually quite skeptical when I came across this book, but I read it and found the advice to be something that I could really relate to and that's when I started to make some changes to my attitude and the way I live my life.
   
   I've not only used the advice to meet and attract the love of my life, I've gained confidence in myself that I never had before. I'm no longer as shy around men as I used to be and I really feel valuable as a person. My new man treats me like none have ever before. And he loves spending time with me, which is great! I'm certain we wouldn't be together right now if it wasn't for what I learnt from this book and I owe the author my heartfelt thanks!



3. I had struggled through the dating scene, going to clubs and bars most weekends and always ended up going home alone. I always had fun, as I was with my friends, but I was always aware that I had trouble meeting men. I mean, I wanted to meet men, but it was hard approaching them, and I didn't get approached by men much.
   
   My sisters and friends all had boyfriends and long-term partners except for me. Then I stumbled across this book and read it. It really forced me to change the way I looked at things, especially my self confidence. It took me about a month of gradually getting the confidence to change things before men started to notice me.
   
   Now when I walk into a bar, men notice me and I have a great time! I find it easier to approach men and talk to them. It's really not as hard as I thought it might be. I feel so great, and it's all thanks to this book! Another book that I recommend is Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?



4. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I only ended up pushing him farther away. After reading your book I now understand why. He's coming back around now and I am following your advice. It seems to be working!"



5. This book surprised me. I was expecting some lame information but you went right into the heart of the why and how and what to do. Very good work.

5 comments about Chance to Die, A: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael.

1. Amy Carmichael is a woman who dedicated her life to serving "the least of these" with a heart focused solely on Christ. A story full of incredible truth and sacrifice in the name of the love of God.



2. Amy Carmichael is a hero of mine. I first read this book many, many years ago after God broke my heart for the nations. I admire this single woman's faith and "heart like flint" as she left family, comfort and friends to serve the Lord in India. She went out not knowing exactly where she was going (like Abraham) yet trusted in her Father to guide and direct her. Indeed, she lived out Isaiah 54 as she became a spiritual mother to many poor children who were sadly abandoned and/or neglected in India.
   
   With a simple, resolute and steadfast faith, Amy built orphanages to defend the orphan and preach the good news to the poor. Her life was soul satisfying, multiplied and poured out as a sacrifice that others could live and find Christ. Beautiful.
   
   Amy's like will inspire and encourage you to PURSUE the call on your heart and to trust in the Lord for provision, security and guidance.
   
   Regarding Elisabeth Elliot, the author, I had the gracious opportunity to meet her in person.. and she is a sweet aroma of Christ as well. She trusted and followed in her Savior, despite the pain of losing her first love, Jim Elliot, as a martyr in the jungle of Ecuador. Through the death of her husband and four other Christian missionaries, many, many were saved - and many Christians called to the mission field. You can read more about their journey by reading:
   
   Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot



3. Amy Carmichael has been a great model to follow. Her love for the Lord spilled out to those whom she saw as His children worth saving ... even though they were considered worthless in their culture. God uses Amy's ferver to encourage me to continue on in difficult places. Thank you Elisabeth Elliot for using your God-given writing talent to so articulate the life of this precious woman of God. Your labors go hand in hand with Amy's in bringing in more souls for the Kingdom of God. To God be all the glory!



4. I have read this book twice over the last decade and each time it has given me life principles applicable to the time of life in which I read it. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who needs an example to live by. I couldn't help but think that if God could do such things in Amy Carmichael, He could certainly do the same in me. What a challenge!



5. This is the first book I read about Amy Carmichael's life. It is very interesting and since reading this, I have purchased many many books that Amy wrote herself. My top 3 recommendations are IF, Kohila, and Lotus Buds. However, any of her books are wonderful.
   
   This book by Elizabeth Elliott gives an overview of Amy's life and pictures. If you want to know about her, this is the book to read.

5 comments about The Kiss.

1. The most amazing thing about this nonfiction book, "The Kiss" by Kathryn Harrison, is how such a dark and tragic subject is expressed so beautifully. For those of you not familiar with this book (it came out in 1997), it centers on Harrison's own relationship with her father, a man who was absent throughout her childhood only to return again when she was in her early 20s.
   
   Harrison is thrilled when her father re-enters her life because her mother has largely spent Harrison's life ignoring her, relying on her own parents (Harrison's grandparents) to raise her. The whole thing takes a startling, disturbing turn when one day, at the airport, when he is leaving, Harrison's father turns to kiss her goodbye and gives her "the kiss" a lover would, not a father.
   
   One has to admire Harrison's bravery in coming forward with her own dark past, which explores not only the taboo relationship with her father (which she eventually ends), but also the betrayal of her own mother, whose approval she has always needed but never realized. The honesty of such seduction and self-destruction is unlike anything I've ever read before. It's tough material to take, and several times, I found myself having to put the book aside, to turn away from such a disturbing story.
   
   One of Harrison's reviewers wrote, "Every sentence strikes and burns and scars...," and I find this a fitting description of the power of her writing in this book. What is at the essence of this book, and why would anyone want to spend time reading about something so unimaginable, so awful? I think that the value in this story lies not in its ability to shock, but in its sad uncovering of the desperation for parental love and approval that can lead to such self-destruction. Strangely enough, love is at the heart of this memoir--the love for one's parents that is returned only with abuse. It's not an easy reading journey to take, but it is a worthy one.



2. Oh, the webs we weave! Kathryn Harrison is one of the best writers around and I've read several of her books. Although this one may be dark, and it's about incest, it is an incredible journey of longing and need that takes a young woman to the very bottom of herself.



3. "The Kiss", by Kathryn Harrison, is a spectacular memoir, and I highly recommend anyone to read it. The
   
   book focuses on the incestuous relationship between Kathryn Harrison and her father, who re-enters her life
   
   during her teen years, after not having seen her for several years.
   
   When telling her story, Harrison writes in the present tense. This is a very interesting technique, because it
   
   makes the reader feel as if she is actually speaking the story out loud, telling it directly to her audience.
   
   Harrison portrays this literary talent when she writes, "After months of letters and calls, as many as three of
   
   each in a day, all promising devotion, all asking for mine, my father has prepared me for what he
   
   requests" (107). Harrison may as well be having a conversation with me when she writes this sentence, it
   
   sounds so real and legitimate!
   
   Aside from the use of wonderful literary techniques, Harrison manages to take incest, a dark and "hush-
   
   hushed" topic, and manages to convey it as a beautiful, loving, subject, "'I love you,' my father says. `I need
   
   you.' `I need you, too,' I whisper." If I had read this passage, unaware of the actual content of "The Kiss", I
   
   would never know it regarded incest, yet, two people who love each other. Harrison's story enabled me to see
   
   the true beauty of her words, and to not be so quick to undermine the love of two people.
   
   Read this book. I guarantee you will see the beauty pertained in darkness.



4. Kathryn Harrison shows compelling bravery in her memoir, The Kiss. She confides in the reader on the dark and disturbing subject matter of her incest relationship with her father. She takes us on a journey through a complex past and family life. When she was young her father was an absent mystery and she is not shy to explain that this made him an object of extreme interest to her. I love the honesty behind her writing and the extreme vulnerability she shows to the reader. She admits, "I want to be held too much to stay away" (87). The abrupt transitions between scenes from her seemingly normal everyday life and the secret she lives with her father is extremely effective in captivating the reader's attention. The pages will keep turning as she continues to be more and more affected by the haunting secret she keeps. Although she describes her encounters with her father in graphic detail, it is impossible for the reader to be disgusted. There is an ongoing feeling of sympathy for Harrison as she beautifully explains her desperate longing for love and a sense of belonging. "I'm afraid that whatever he wants, I will give him," (107) she discloses. The memoir continues to take the reader deeper and deeper to new levels of complexity especially in regards to Harrison's struggling relationship with her mother. So many knots are presented in this book that the reader cannot help but want to continue to read on and try and untie them. Every sentence in packed with emotion and despite coming from an obviously broken girl, the voice is powerful and strong. I definitely recommend Kathryn Harrisons memoir to anyone who appreciates good writing and a profound story.



5. I am glad I picked this memoir up again..after at least the second time. Parts of it were poetic and moving, and parts of it were very difficult to read. I am going to get a hold of "The Mother Knot" as soon as possible. It also is a memoir by Kathryn Harrison. After exploring (using Amazon's) search inside feature I found that I had read one of her other memoirs..titled "Seeking Rapture" I will review that one soon.

5 comments about Stolen Lives: Twenty Years in a Desert Jail (Oprah's Book Club).

1. Meet the Oufkir family. This is the printed condensation of their amazing survival.
   
   Malika Oufikir, aided by writer Michele Fitoussi, recounts the plunge from the heights of an extremely privileged, if secluded, life, mostly lived at the Royal Moroccan court, and a life which later landed herself and her family into gaol, in 1972. A drastic change for everybody -but "drastic" is almost a diminishing adjective for what they went through-, including the two family retainers who had volunteered to share their fate. This was the result of a failed military coup against King Hassan II, led by Malika's father, General Oufkir, who was shot immediately after. Wife Fatima and their six children, aged between 19 (Malika) and 3 and a half (Abdellatif) were sent to prison. Deprivations, humiliations, isolation -even among themselves, they were not allowed to see each other for many years- lack of hygiene, food, water, medicines and contending their space with various rodents, cockroaches, scorpions, in the chilling cold or the most stifling heat, inability to see the light -they were kept in almost total darkness-. Up until the day when, 15 years later, with the resilience of the totally desperate, some of them managed to escape, Malika included. The tale of their evasion is chilling from beginning to end. But it also led to the liberation of the others left behind. Nobody could believe that the Oufkir children had reemerged from nothingness, but they managed to alert the relevant authorities, international press and word went out. They were all subsequently moved to a different location where they were still imprisoned but at least with more dignity -if one may use this term in the circumstances-. This went on for another 4 years. And then... freedom finally knocked at their door. Almost twenty years had gone by.
   
   Forget for a minute about politics, religions, different countries, traditions, beliefs. Sufferings do not bear different classifications depending on whom we are, what we do. To suffer is to suffer, anywhere on this planet, and no one is immune. But. To pay up in such dramatic way for something beyond your control is just inhuman. Malika's voice, plain yet effective, summarizes details which induce cringing sensations.
   
   Some reviewers comment on Malika's self-centeredness, sensing a certain degree of superiority, no doubt deriving, in my opinion, from the imprint of her privileged upbringing, which might have added a somewhat unsympathetic nuance to the story. Others remark that there are inconsistencies. It is true in some instances. From a personal point of view, I myself never quite understood why Malika was adopted into the royal family. It could be Moroccan customs or traditions of which I am not aware, but it was never really explained.
   But. Never mind. Let's face the facts, get to the gist. Prisoners for twenty years for something they didn't commit? Children raised into squalor and fear, without an ounce of dignity? Let us keep things into perspective and grant Malika and the others the deserved praise for enduring their adverse fate and unfathomable conditions, never letting go, organizing their great escape against all odds. Without her, who dug and bled, bled and dug for months, relentlessly, this could not have happened, and none of us would have read this book.
   
   A single, soaring voice raising above a twenty-year-long cry in the dark, reminding us that for one who manages to survive, many other faceless, nameless beings perish silently, in many different countries, for many different reasons, their weeping unheard, obliterated by enforced silence.
   Read this book and count your blessings.



2. Incredible story. I just recently returned from Morocco, and while there wondered how many such prisoners are still lingering in the country's prisons. The people of Morocco and kind and friendly, as a whole friendlier than in most countries I have visited. Not once did I hear an unkind word or saw a grumpy face on people I encountered. Absolutely lovely. With that in mind, in the story of her 20 years of imprisonment and the subsequent "Freedom" describing the return to life outside a prison system, the kindness and forgiveness she expresses are much easier to understand.



3. I thoroughly enjoyed Stolen Lives. The ordeal Malika Oufkir and her family suffered is astonishing. It really pained me to read through her true accounts of riches to less-than-rags. The Oufkirs were fortunate and strong to have survived through it all.
   
   I felt that the writing was fine. Even if it was not, the story was so powerful, I would have enjoyed it anyway. There are many books out there that are fluffy, shallow, and very well written. I prefer to read works that are deep, educational, and so powerful that they leave a lasting impression - like this book!



4. This book was just amazing. The story she tells keeps you on the edge of your seat. Truly spine tingling. It's a book that provokes alot of soul-searching.What's life really about? How do people survive such things as those described in this book? A good book.



5. I read this books some years ago and still can't get it out of my head because of how incredible the real life events were. For a Westerner, the tale is imazing. As a woman, I was dumb-founded by the sentence given to an entire family by the Moroccan Royalty for a crime that none of them committed. The book really opened my eyes about the differences between democratic societies and those ruled by royalty dictators. This is a book I always recommends to others to read.