No comments about Necessary Sins.

5 comments about A Life of Her Own: The Transformation of a Countrywoman in 20th-Century France.

1. This is one woman's story of life in an age and place which has disappeared over the course of a century. The voice is powerful, although the translation from the French could have been better. Carles truly makes you feel what it was like to be a young peasant woman. This isn't sentimental trash or dry history. It's a very down to earth tale of "this is what it was like for me."



2. Emilie Carles started out her life the same as many of her neighbors in her predominantly peasant town in France. Unlike her neighbors, she went on to receive an education and break out of generations of grinding poverty and ingnorance. The very fact that she is able to chronicle her most unusual life is a testament to the power of the human spirit. Everyone interested in issues of class and gender influencing biography should read this excellent memoir.



3. This is one of the best autobiographies I have ever read. Mme. Carles has so much to say about her way of life and her countrymen. Her relationship with her family is described touchingly and well. Her peasant background reminds me of my grandparents' farming lives in the southern U.S. As I read, it seemed strange to me that someone who depended on owning and working land could become a leftist. However, in view of Mrs. Carles' descriptions of the various governments which have ruled France, I can see how someone could be desperate (and naive) enough to turn to anti-capitalism. It helped me understand the political climate in Europe better, but that is not why I recommend the book. It is simply a lovely description of how peasants lived and thought for many centuries. It has a sense of timelessness, of life before the frantic changes technology has brought over the last hundred years. Just take a large grain of salt when you read Carles' economic recommendations.



4. This was a quick read (I finished it during a plane ride across the Pacific). Carles was born in 1900 in a peasant hamlet in one of the poorest regions of Alpine France. Rare for her time and place, she gained literacy and was successful enough in her studies to gain a teacher's license. She wrote her stories into notebooks for decades and, when the time came, began fashioning their contents into an autobiography. As sickness overtook her, she opted to tell her tale to a publisher, who worked the tapes and her books into this story.
   
   It's worth reading. I've read bits and pieces of the history of isolated, medieval Alpine communities, mostly in books on mountain-climbing; this is a glimpse into the end days of such a community, with its harsh lifestyle, old traditions, and superstitions of its inhabitants. Carles was a woman who challenged many of those traditions and superstitions as she grew and learned.
   
   Toward its end the book bogs down into political statements. Carles married a remarkably free-thinking man for the late 1920s/early 1930s, and his views meshed nicely with hers--pacifism honed by the loss of her brothers to the trenches of World War I and a socialist bent that wants to see the state offer real aid to poor communities like hers. I could have done without her (unrealistic in my opinion) stirring proclamations on the need for a four-hour work day and a return to a simple rural lifestyle. But this doesn't take away from the value of the book on the whole. It's an entertaining look at a strong woman who saw the twentieth century pass in a place that rarely gets written about.



5. I thought that this book was so great! I read it for graduate French History and it was the best supplemental piece thus far in my sseries on French history. I suggest reading A Tale of Two Cities before this book. If you appreciate the beauty of France's countryside and want to understand the difficulties and individuality of a very strong French woman, do read this book.

5 comments about Sexless in the City: A Memoir of Reluctant Chastity.

1. This book deserves the attention of any woman (or men that care) who have struggled with the issue of chastity. You will find here both a kindred spirit who has struggled that you've struggled with and who has dealt with the many issues both thoughtfully and with humor. Five stars for bravery, humor, and insight.



2. I couldn't wait to read this book once I heard about it. "Anna" has tackled a subject that every single woman of faith has grappled with at one point or another, and she's done it with a measure of wit and self-deprecation that is refreshing. We really don't need any more dogma, or "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts." The sexual roles in our society are so mixed up anyway - add an overlay of faith to the mix and it gets really crazy.
   
   I appreciated that this is a memoir about being true to who you are, bad choices and all. Anna writes with a clear eye on the culture and on the faith community - and boy, are they confused about each other when it comes to sex and relationships!
   
   I look forward to reading more from this author.



3. With a distinct voice, Anna vulnerably divulges the intimate confessions and struggles of a Christian woman not always confident of comfortable in her faith or self. Anna is bold in her integrity to remain abstinent before marriage and similarly bold to be open about it to a public that lost belief in such mythical creatures as 29 year old virgins. But despite this public confession of counter-cultural sexuality, I don't believe this is the true struggle in the book, rather, it is Anna's search for community like she knew as a child in a family of six - surrounded by accountability and support. In an ideal world, the Christian Church is supposed to fill this gap - but Anna admits that the Church often fails to fill this need. Nonetheless she maintains loyalty to Christ, His broken people, and perhaps most shockingly - His high expectations for His people. This is her true and rare triumph.
   
   Three other reading experiences come to mind after finishing Sexless - Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, Anne Lammott in general, and Blue Like Jazz. If anything strikes a chord with you in these three, Sexless is worth exploring for its search for community, vulnerable honesty about one's own failings and faith, and her willingness to admit the imperfections in the Church without giving up her commitment to it altogether.



4. This was a great book. It was fun reading about the firsthand adventures of a single Christian American female trying to sort out and cope with the challenges and excitements that come with dating in our generation. I would recommend this book to any reader, but especially to a young woman. I appreciated Anna's openness about her own struggles in relationships and the thoughtfulness with which she resolved the issues these struggles brought up. Would definitely purchase again!



5. After having read many Christian books on sexuality that rely solely on the "true love waits" mantra, I found this book to be very refreshing. Broadway uses her experiences to show the fallacy behind the American myth that true love and marriage will solve every problem in life. She dispels this myth and shows that only the love from God can ever truly satisfy our huge need for love. She also does not shy away from discussing her own desires and I truly appreciated that.

3 comments about The Reading Woman: A Journal.

1. This is a beautiful journal for women who love books and reading. This lovely volume is organized for the books you've read, books you want to read, books you've loaned out, and more. What sets this jewel apart from other book journals are the lovely prints of paintings depicting women in various situations, simply enjoying reading. No cooking, caring for children, cleaning, teaching, nursing, etc. Just reading for pleasure. The journal also includes wonderful quotes about reading and books. Beautifully done.



2. I picked up "The Reading Woman" in a museum gift shop and have loved owning it. I use it as a journal of the books I've read in the past and what I'm currently reading. It's amazing how quickly you forget a books you've read, so I enjoy writing my thoughts right after I finish one. The illustrations are lovely, some of them paintings from other centuries. Women have made time for reading FOREVER. Now that I've filled this journal completely, does anyone know of a similar one I can start?



3. "This exquisite volume, illustrated with beautiful full-color reproductions of paintings of women reading, provides compelling inspiration for recording one's private thoughts. Works by Mary Cassatt, Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Edouard Manet, Edward Hopper, James McNeill Whistler, and Winslow Homer, as well as contemporary selections, are included. Quotes from well-known female writers on the subjects of literature and reading appear throughout.
   
   "Pomegranate's illustrated journals lend inspiration to thinkers, observers, and diarists. Hardcover, with a contrasting ribbon marker, each journal features 26 full-color illustrations and a wealth of insightful quotes. At only $17.95 it will appeal to the writer in everyone. 120 lined pages. ISBN: 0-87654-816-8; size: 5 1/2 x 8 1/2"."--© Pomegranate

5 comments about The Woman I Am.

1. I have always loved Helen's music - more for the B side of her 45's then the A side. What I mean to say is that Helen's voice and musical talent often shined on those little tracks that didn't get airplay or didn't get on the charts. Her unique voice lended itself much better to her offbeat jazzy and bluesy material (such as "Ladychain") then the more saccarine "No way to Treat a Lady".
   
   Much like her song selections, Helen holds back a little too much in this book. It's the little tidbits of info that shined in the book. I really liked details that she often glosses over. I felt that in Helen's career she was too cautious - too cautious to "get down"(which she totally has the talent to do), and too cautious to get to far off the Adult Contemporary style which I never felt really fit her more indepenedent and unique style. Likewise, here book is the same. She keeps to things that would sale. Still a good book anyway.



2. I thought this book was Excellent. Helen takes us through her life from a little girl to her life as a grandmother now.
   She talks about her failed marriages and her kids as well as her hit songs and how they came about. if you are a Helen Reddy fan you should read this book you will learn a lot about who she really is and how she feels about her life in the spotlight good book Helen!



3. Being a Helen Reddy fan since the age of seven, it was with great interest to read her Memoir at age forty. I was somewhat disappointed though as she spends a great deal talking about her family and tracing back to her roots and meeting with family members who knew family members she did not get to know. This revealed one thing about me. I was no longer a Helen Reddy fan, just a fan of her music. She does kind of slide through her career and how husband number two took advantage of her and embezzled most of her money behind her back. Overall, It's not a bad back. It just was not what I expected, but I feel I know the lady better now.



4. I have enjoyed Helen Reddy's music for many years. I was quite interested in purchasing this book and learning about what type of a person she really is. In many ways, the book did answer my questions; however, much of what I wanted to read about was left out. The Midnight Special, Airport 1975, her friendship with Olivia Newton-John and several of her hit songs were not even mentioned. She skimmed over her 70's very quickly. Maybe this time period was difficult for her talk about because of her parents' deaths or the way her record company treated her when her records were not as hugely successful as they once were. Anyhow, it still was an enjoyable book from someone who brought many a great deal of musical pleasure in the 1970's.



5. There is, as others have pointed out, so much important missing about her musical voyage, how she selected her songs (I think that's what she was most acclaimed for in the business; she was an artist with album after album after album with no filler tracks, only outstanding songs), what it was like to plan her albums and record her music; how it felt to soar to the top after so long battling for success. As for coming down from the hits, that is not what it may appear to the outside world. The bookings tend to continue on, the T.V. appearances (Helen was on the Carol Burnett Show singing her new music when the hits became problematic), the interviews continue; as she herself said, "I'm busier now than when I had three number one singles." And the quality doesn't lesson--Helen's two MCA albums were among her best. The other material in the book is interesting, whether the reader believes or not. As for not naming the husbands, that may have been a legal decision. A second book definitely would be welcomed, for Helen has always been endlessly interesting.

5 comments about Just Lucky I Guess: A Memoir of Sorts.

1. Carol Channing's memoir is not candid at all. This is the story of a lady that spent 40+ years on the road doing tour after tour after tour because she was in a loveless unhappy marriage. Her abusive husband was living high off the hog with his male lover while she was out performing all over America. She had a terrible life until her husband's death...and only recently she met her current husband, a wonderful loving millionnaire whom she dated originally in Junior high. It's a fascinating story which you will not find in the book.



2. Carol Channing tells her life story (probably dictated with almost no editing) in her own style - delightfully mixed-up, carefree and uninhibited. Of course she skips around and even SHE forgets exactly what her point was. Is this disappointing? No, she's just being Carol Channing, a true zany. Not Lucille Ball, a very serious and level-headed businesswoman who just played a zany.

   The unabashed love she felt for her best pals- Mary Martin and George Burns in particular, is heart-warming reading. Her disdain for certain others never remotely comes across as bitter,
   for example in the case of the nameless "Yenta" from one of her
   Broadway shows. "Yenta" was a troublesome actress who, Carol later found out, wound up as a dental assistant. "It could have happened to any of us," Carol laments to us with a straight face. As if becoming a dental assistant was like dying in a plane crash! That's Carol... if you stray too far off Broadway you might as well be dead. Her love of life and love of the theater are one and the same, and it pours forth in every page.

   You will notice too that there's no photo of her husband/manager of 42 years, Charles Lowe, whom she divorced very publicly in 1997 after informing the world he was gay and in all that time they had intercourse on two occasions. All mention of him is less than she gives to describe the "pear-shaped" ass of agent Sue Mengers. So you know that there are some sad things the happy Carol would just like to blot out, or, at least not burden us with. She'd rather give us peppy and mixed-up Carol showbiz yarns in no particular order.

   The most controversial element of her tome is the impossible-to-prove assertment that her father was a light-skinned African-American. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, her father's "colored" birth certificate was destroyed. Now I could be wrong, but I think it is merely some of Carol's over-stimulated imagination at play, as when she saw-
   I'm not making this up- a rainbow over Mary Martin's pancreas.
   And of course, it's a little extra spice for selling books. And speaking of spice, the book is worth purchasing if only for the anecdote about a "Chinaman's mustache." I'm not telling, you'll have to read it.

   Those who complain that her book has no order, rhyme or reason just don't know Carol. But "Just Lucky" is a terrific way to get to know this one-of-a-kind theater icon.




3. Now, I understand that as we look back on our lives that we tend to remember the good times rather than the bad, but Carol does so to the point of chronicling a rather dull existence. She leaves out all the stories that made her one of the great survivors in the industry. Case in point, there's no mention of the story when Frank Sinatra beat her to within an inch of death with a pillowcase full of doorknobs. There's no mention of her bloodfeud with Rosemary Clooney and how she once pulled a knife on Clooney and cut off her pinky toe. And of course, the greatest omission of all: Carol has an irational fear of men with mustaches. Could have been better.



4. Carol Channing's autobiography is a fun read indeed, but is rather choppy. It was previously said that she never really finishes her stories, and that is ture, however, I was never left wanting. Her narrative is very entertaining, and the anecdotes are fun tidbits to tell! There really is one for every occasion!
   
   A must for Channing fans!



5. I wish I'd known that the book I was paying 14.95 for was a poorly reproduced knock-off of the original edition. The cover art is out of focus, and the internal photos all look like they were run through a bad photocopier. Amazon LLC doesn't let you leave "feedback for the seller," so I urge buyers to proceed with caution when ordering their products. The options I'm able to find online are a)return the book or b)track the shipment. How about an option like "complain that the book isn't worth 14.95, and ask that I be credited ten dollars." Caveat Emptor.

5 comments about Monica's Story.

1. Not indepth reading, but remember the story and the people it includes. The book details Monica's emotions to conincide with what headlines the public knew. Worth reading, if you are interested in what took place (obviously from her side). Many facts and the Starr Report excerpts to legitimize assertions.



2. This book was quite ridiculous. Although I applaud the author on his efforts, the book was among other things boring and without depth. The story somehow tries to paint Monica as highly intelligent, sure of what she wanted and able to speak her own mind. But she is also supposed to be lost, confused, and have low self esteem. Am I the only person who sees the contradiction here?

   I honestly picked up this book simply because it was in the library and sounded interesting. I am not truly interested in either politics or gossip. Although I knew information about the Lewinsky scandal (who didn't?), I never defended one side or the other. I don't think Lewinsky is an evil women who should be burned at the stake. I also think that some people are too quick to criticize her without considering the fact that we've all done something we aren't proud of in our lives. I think she was truly in love with the President and that she didn't try to set him up. However this book goes way too far in trying to make her sound innocent. Any decent person will own up to the fact that they have done something wrong. But this book made Monica into the hurt little victim, without taking any responsibility for her own actions. The thing that bothered me the most was that no one ever considered Hilary or Chelsea seriously in the story. Monica somehow seems to almost completely write them out of the picture as if the family didn't matter. Of course she does mention that she followed Hilary's actions so she could know when the President would call her. For someone who is so intelligent it is surprising to me that she never considered what effect it would have on other people (namely the Clinton family) if she and the President actually did get married, something she often daydreams about in the story. Does she expect to just lovingly become Chelsea's stepmother? Although the author tried to avoid this he truly ended up making Monica sound extremely neurotic.

   In life there is usually no black or white area. Most situations can not be interpreted as completely right or wrong. All people live in a gray area, meaning sometimes they do the right thing and other times they don't. In this book we apparently meet the first person who doesn't, because Monica Lewinsky lives totally in the white area. I wish I had picked up a book with much more depth.




3. Any woman in her early twenties, who has ever fallen in love with a man who is married and forbidden by conventional ethical and professional standards, will find empathy in this book.

   Whatever side of truth or political scenario this book attempts to portray, I primarily read it as a romance and enjoyed it more than ever. The book's appeal lies in the dynamics of the affair between the young intern and the president, rather than any political truth-finding. Maybe, there are too many 'truths' out there, and who are we to judge which one is true. This is Monica's version, so why quibble about absolute realities?

   The book certainly does a good job of revealing her a human figure rather than a man-hunting slut responsible for the impreachment of Clinton.

   Why marvel Marie Antoinette and Josephine, and not Monica? I admire Monica Lewinsky as a person who enjoys poetry, loves life, watches her weight, experiments with men, and most of all braves what the world thinks of her. I really think people ought to stop thinking of her as a sex symbol.

   Tragic as the love story's end is, Monica RULZ!!!




4. This book was quite dumb, and all that it does is emphasize how dumb people can be. If you're a Republican right-winger who's more interested in a president's, a man's, sexcapades than what he does with the economy, then read on by all means. This mindless book was made for you.



5. Monica Samille Lewinsky appears to be either incredibly naive or incredibly childish. This book is not a page turner. If you are interested in her camps' POV... then you may like this book. The author says her "disorderly routine and her neurotic behavior over weight perfectly explain why she never cleaned the notorious blue Gap dress that was stained with the President's semen" (page 11).
   
   She is characterized as very naive. She documented every little detail as if it was major, which appears that she had a motive for the future use of this information. It gave me thoughts that she was contemplating possible blackmail, book deals, and/or movie deals.
   
   Yet again... she was either incredibly smart, naive, or silly.

5 comments about SEPARATED AT EARTH: The Story of the Psychic Twins.

1. Once I started, I couldn't put the book down. I was intrigued, amazed, moved to tears, and I truly believe Terry and Linda have helped take me to a new level of consciousness.



2. When I first saw that the famous Jamison twins had published a story of their lives, I immediately ordered it from Amazon. I then got so impatient to read it that I ordered it AGAIN [...] to dig my nose into it immediately! This book is one that will be hard to put down for all those into the "new age" and metaphysical. It's a very easy read and goes in depth regarding their childhood and the early years before they were known as the psychic twins. It's also incredibly interesting to follow their psychic journey, as most people may assume that since they were born with a great gift they were just BAM!!! good at it. It took a great deal of fine tuning and hard work for them to acheive the success they know today and the last chapter in the book even helps you to do the same for your own abilities. I feel honored to have had a small glimpse into their psychic world and can only hope that this book is the first of many from the Jamison twins.



3. Terry and Linda Jamison reveal many of their successes, struggles, joys, disappointments, and amazing `right on' predictions, in a clever format only twins could use to co-author a book. The pages of Separated At Earth disclose an honest glimpse into the growing up and developmental years of two women who happen to be twins, proven psychic twins, no less! Being truly psychic is a gift. Recognizing, developing and sharing their gift, is what Terry and Linda have accomplished in spite of many diverse and devastating health and financial challenges. That is what this book is about.
   
   More than entertaining, this book is a guide for anyone lucky enough to recognize their own special gift who wishes to develop that gift, in spite of formidable obstacles. Never giving up, often changing course, doing what they were afraid to do initially until they conquered it, is what makes their book inspiring to all who are driven to succeed.
   
   The Psychic Twins are incredibly unique humans blessed with an awesome gift they are willingly sharing.



4. This is an interesting and detailed account of unusually close twin sisters, whose pain-filled lives resulted in finding their true path - using their rare psychic abilities to help others.
   
   It is a shame that they did not devote much more space to sharing more about their psychic readings/cases (perhaps this will be a second book?), but it was good to learn that their work is meeting the need of many people, for loving guidance from the spirit world.



5. This was great reading and how different life can be when we use all of our abilities to the fullest. It is great to know that dispite all of the illnesses and woes the twins have had to endure, they are hopeful and full of love and wish to continue to help others. They have helped me have a better understanding of myself and what a great life I have and not to be discouraged by any setbacks.

5 comments about Dream Catcher: A Memoir.

1. Of course you read this book because you're interested in learning more about JD Salinger, not Margaret Salinger. But the book is HER memoir after all, so you hear a lot about her and other people who aren't JD Salinger. Some of it is really interesting..you'd probably like it if you like reading about growing-up (I assume you do, since you're a fan of Salinger). You hear about how she and her friends transistion from catching bugs and watching old films with her dad to wearing make-up, and going to dances, and listening to The Beatles and all of that good sutff. But some things are pretty uninteresting, too. Dream Catcher is odd, because the author's writing style changes frequently.
   
   Sometimes it's incredibly flower and unnessecarily wordy and downright dumb (she spends a whole page talking about her favorite lifesaver flavors and things) and it can be really irritating. Then it will suddenly switch to a very bare and personal style. It almost felt like reading "The Catcher in the Rye" at times. There are also many, many random quotations (from "alice in wonderland", ancient poetry, ect) all over the book. At chapter heads, foot notes (of which there are nearly 2 every page, and generally very unnessecary information.), and in the text itself.
   
   But what you'll learn about JD Salinger is pretty key. She definitley has a fresh perspective on the whole deal. She talks about how her father told her the same thing that Zooey tells Franny ("There's no major changes between 10 and 20, or 10 and 80, for that matter."), and it ends up with her being molested by a college student when she was around 10. She thought of him as her "boyfriend" because she wasn't taught that there's a big difference between fooling around with boys her age and much older boys. Another time she writes about she and her father getting into an arguement when she was a very small child, and him telling her, "We'd better find a way to make this up, because once someone loses my respect for someone, that's it. We're through." She writes she has to constantly put on a front for her father; she has to be like Phoebe, Holden's perfect sister, or he'll become furious with her.
   
   Margaret Salinger offers a lot of new perspectives on JD Salinger's philosophy. She is pretty blunt about it, calling her father's stories unrealistic and incredibly simplified. She talks about becoming angry at adults who agree with the things her father says, wondering how they can be so immature.
   
   JD Salinger, according to Margaret, was also cruel to her mother. Keeping her a "virtual prisoner" in their tiny cabin in the deep country, and forcing her to adopt all of his constantly changing and demanding religious practices. Refusing to let her have any money to buy new clothes even when she needed them, because he thought women were vain and sinful and didn't want to encourage it. According to her mother, JD Salinger went out of his way to make her life terrible; (refusing an invite to dine with President Kennedy because she wanted to.)
   
   He does seem to have real issues with women. Margaret writes about her coming home from camp, and wearing a new swimsuit. Her father is disgusted to see her breasts have started to develop. He gets angry when she shows even a slight interest in fashionable clothes.
   
   I guess a lot of people who read this book disliked it because it painted such a negative view of JD Salinger (unrealistic, abusive, racist/sexist, control freak) but despite being a huge fan of JD Salinger, I thought it was really interesting. It certainly adds a new and complex twist to my thoughts when I read his books. As much as we love to read about the Glass family and all, couldn't it actually be incredibly traumatic to not give children the guidance and reality they need? Didn't JD Salinger write these books without having any idea of what children were actually like? And I guess this book answers those questions. Margaret Salinger and her brother went through a lot of unnessecary pain because of her father's unrealistic philosophy on children and life.
   
   It's all really fascinating, if you don't mind me being sort of blunt.



2. Salinger's daughter wrote too many pages about her famous father. Buy it if you are a fan--good family pics throughout!



3. When we love a work of art, we instinctively believe in the goodness of its creator. I know very little about JD Salinger except I loved Catcher in the Rye. If you are like me, you might not want to read this book, because it will forever change your view of the book and its author. This is a book with too much disclosure about the Salinger family. You will never read Catcher again without realizing that every sentence is eeked out of a rather mean man who locked himself up in this fantasy life of being young and cool while being horrid to his family and being quite a fraud and an imposter, really. A picture of JD Salinger emerges - he becomes a recognizable archetype of everyone's least favorite uncle, with irrational hatreds and pretensions and a chilling inability to relate to children, his wife, or his family. After knowing how Catcher was conceived - sometimes, sentence by sentence - every note of that book will ring false forever. One wonders if other writers were similar jerks to their family. Maybe we don't wanna know.



4. This beautifully written memoir has one of the most honest and pure voices of any in that genre. As soon as I started reading Dream Catcher, I bonded with the writer like an old friend. I've actually highlighted sentences throughout the book which are true gems; they capture a feeling or moment which is nearly impossible to describe, yet the writer comes through page after page. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about the Salinger family and of course to anyone who can appreciate superb writing.



5. After reading this book, I had a dream that it was actually the first volume of a trilogy. This wasn't a pleasant dream. The book, as others have noted, is unfocused and loses a good story in a tiresome telling. I don't recall the page devoted to Peggy's favorite Life Savers flavor, but it's dangerously easy to imagine.
   
   What I found particularly frustrating was a lack of context as regards J.D. Salinger's publishing career. A chapter will open with a throwaway remark: "And then Franny & Zooey appeared as a book" and let it wither. Yes, it didn't matter much to her at the time, but the reader wants to know what was happening to the book in real life (how was it received, how did it advance J.D.'s fame), while Peggy's insane, isolated life unspun.
   
   You do pick up bits of mostly horrifying information about J.D. and you can't help but sympathize with Margaret Salinger, but you can wish that she had learned more from her father's earlier, tightly structured work, than from his final published pieces like the rambling Seymour: An Introduction. Self-indulgence seems to run in this family.

5 comments about Ithaka: A Daughter's Memoir of Being Found.

1. What I don't understand about this book is how it and the Amazon reviewers of it can be so brainwashed by the adoption industry that they do not respect Sarah Saffian's natural parents as being such. The demeaning word "birth mother" is used not only throughout Sarah's book but also in reviews of it. In addition, Sarah seems to refuse to acknowledge her parents as what they really are: her parents. Sarah's lack of thinking for herself and her inability to understand and respect natural family relationships is sad indeed. May she one day take a few steps away from denial and from the adoption industry, which she obviously supports, and realize how terrible mother and child separation is. I'd like to read the book that she writes after she wakes up from her adoption fantasy.



2. Recently, I was reunited with my daughter whom I gave up to adoption 34 years ago. I was unprepared for what this reunion would do to my life and the roller-coaster emotions that came to the forefront of our "relationship". After our "honeymoon" phase ended after much emotional and verbal conflict (and all contact between us ceased), I began to reach out for help. Many of the "other" Mom's suggested this book.
   Though my daughter and I have not renewed our relationship, this book, more than any other (so far) has helped me understand somewhat of what she was/is going through emotionally. Factors I had not considered that Saffian points out have helped me cope with this "silence".
   It is not a perfect book. There are questions that remain: why did it take Saffian so long to have a face-face meeting; did the reunion last (are they still reunited); etc.
   Though I am unlike Sarah's "other" parents, the book is helpful in that it also shows what they are going through (via personal letters and phone calls) and glimpses into her parents' feelings as well.
   All in all, a good read that will help all in the adoption triad struggling the initial phases of contact. I wish I had known of the book sooner.



3. The story of Sarah Saffian (born Sarah Morgan but given up for adoption) is a story of promise but one that quickly drizzles down into one long whine. Imagine the luck of finding that the parents who had to give you up stuck together against all odds (parents' wishes, lack of money), eventually married, and produced three siblings for you! How often does such a thing even happen???? Is our didactic, deliberating, depressed daughter delighted by her parents' phone call at age 23? No, indeed, and the reader must, it seems, be dragged through all her misery, too. Her parents are alive, healthy,in their mid-40's, married, employed, financially stabled, and educated. They adore their children and are totally welcoming to the daughter that they had to give up in 1969, dark pre-legal-abortion days. Does she accept, jump on the bus and go? Oh, no!
   
   Assuming that a reader can stomach a full-novel-length's whining, one has to say, that if it were written in a more engaging style, for example, with more information about her real life, her adopted parents, her schooling, her half-siblings, and general world view, then we could have a better sense of her. WE might even sympathize with her great ambivalence about meeting the real parents, Hannah and Adam. But this reader, for one, cannot get a grip on who Sarah really is. She's a Brown University kid, grew up in a brownstone in NYC, has plenty of money, works in publishing and writes for a living, has had one abortion at age 21, likes to look out at the snow from her apartment window. That's all I could gather. Does she have any real interests, hobbies, all-consuming passions? Does she have problems or conflicts at work? Does she like to cook, or what does she eat, just bagels and coffee? Does she like movies? What kind of books is she reading? Does she hang out somewhere, like bookstores, libraries, cafes, parties? Her birthparents, especially her father Adam, tries to get her to open up and tell about her life, her problems, her views. She is unresponsive to him as she is to the reader.
   
   The abortion, did you say? Oh yes, there's a fellow...her boyfriend Chris seems completely peripheral, likes to go to junkshops with her. Gee whiz! Perhaps he's too poor for her to marry him - just like her mother Hannah's problem back at age 21 when Adam, a non-Jew, a dropout, and unemployed fellow, didn't suit her future plans. Otherwise, what's wrong with him, why she is just drifting along with him, well, readers must guess.
   
   This poor woman wrote a novel of herself, her disaffected, detached, and depressed view of reality. What she really wants or will ever achieve in her life is hard to say. I'll admit it's possible that the knowledge of being adopted sapped her of any life force from a very young age, from having no mother-love, as she says.
   
   This woman needs desperately to open up to others, to see their pain and problems. She's even been to see a psychiatrist already, but it didn't help. The reader feels like bashing the book on the woman's head and shouting, "For God's sakes,woman, wake up! You are alive, young, healthy, rich, and you have two sets of parents! GEt a MOVE on!"
   
   I am not adopted but was well acquainted with a fellow my age (now mid-40's) who tried to find his birth parents in his 30's. He went through heck and high water, only to find that the father was long dead, a disreputable man who'd been married at the time of conceiving my friend, therefore could not marry his mother. The mother was dead only six months, and had died a miserable woman - alcoholic, diabetic and sickly. She'd married later in life, had a couple of kids, and these half-siblings took one look at my friend and essentially said, "Scram, man". She came from Irish immigrants in Oakland, California, and was forced through the Irish Catholic adoption service nuns to give up the baby, although her father had tried to see about keeping the child somehow and even raising it himself. AMongst Catholics in the late 1950's, that was inconceivable, and "it would ruin her chance to marry". Sure enough, she found someone,but was sad her whole life, or so he was told.
   
   He is STILL Raging about her, against her, with no conception what the Catholic Chuch was like in those years, especially in regard to women. I caught the tale end of it myself, having Irish immigrant parents, and tried to tell how his mother must have felt. He could look in the mirror and see how Irish he looked. He did not know his heritage or faith, adopted by agnostics/Anglicans in Walnut Creek, given a priviledged suburban life, but in the end, drank and smoked himself into poverty, ill health and unemployment. I have cut the friendship because of his terrible attitude towards his dead birthmother and towards almost all women as a result. YOu can't talk to him.
   
   I only bring up this side issue of a similar case to show that this woman has nothing to weep about, and indeed, has the insight to realize that the abortion she had at 21 was exactly the same choice,given the circumstances, that her own birthparents made when they were 21: not able to be parents yet.
   
   And will she ever be? I wonder? She would now be in late 30's. Poor little rich girl, I hope she turns out okay and doesn't fall into drink, smoking and drugs....



4. While I imagine this book might be extremely useful to a member of the adoption triad who is looking for insight or validation, it's not for the general reader unless used as a sleep aid. As a general reader, I wouldn't recommend it.
   
   Other reviewers have criticized the author's seemingly selfish reaction to her birthparents reaching out to her; I have to give her credit for honesty about reactions that don't show her in the best light. But to be frank, her personal journey just isn't interesting enough to sustain the average reader for more than a few chapters. While she plumbs her feelings endlessly and repetitiously, going so far as to enter therapy, she seems to be lacking the self-awareness to make it a worthwhile read. There's a lot of drama-queen there, but not much personality.
   
   A far better book by adoptees is "Identical Strangers" by Paula Bernstein and Elyse Schein published this year. Perhaps I'd be more sympathetic to Sarah Saffian if I weren't comparing her voice to those of Bernstein and Shein, two eloquent writers who went through far more, and yet write about their experiences beautifully and without a drop of self-pity.



5. As an adoptee who searched for and renunited with my birth family, with resulting wonderful relationships, in my teens some 17 years ago, I found Ithaka, although interesting hard to relate to. Although I can understand her ambivalent feelings at times and can sympathize with feeling discombobulated at being found, her underlying current of hostility and extreme negativity towards her birthparents I find a bit disturbing. Personally I have found that a large helping of compassion, understanding, maturity and grace go a long way in dealing with one's family members either birth or adopted. Additionally, I found the cultural contrasts between Ithaka with other Adoptee Memoirs such as "A Wealth of Family" by Thomas Brooks and "A Daughter of the Ganges" by Asha Miro who come from cultures where Family whether Birth or Adopted the cultural norm is it is not a question if one shall accept one's blood relatives, people just do as it is culturally expected, to be quite fascinating and enlightening.