5 comments about A Three Dog Life.

1. A friend handed me this book while I was visiting her home...someone had given it to her. She wasn't interested because she thought it was about dogs. I did too. I would not have read it had I known that it's not a dog book. I'm so glad I didn't know its topic, because I would have missed out on a deeply emotional account of the author's experience of her husband's TBI. A very fast read. Poignant, courageous, thought provoking.



2. I read an excerpt of this book in O Magazine and was intrigued, so I ordered the free sample for my Kindle - was intrigued some more - and finally ended up buying the full Kindle edition. I'm almost done reading it, and I think this may be the first book I've read as a Kindle book that I also want to purchase in hard-copy form - just to HAVE. This is a keeper, a book I will remember long after putting it down. Where has Abagail Thomas been hiding and why is this my first introduction to her?!
   
   This is a tough topic - the traumatic brain injury her husband sustains and the author's adjustment to life after that event - yet Thomas handles it without unnecessary self-pity or pathos. I've read books of a similar vein that are gut-wrenching to read, others that are so lofty and inspiring they depress me - how can I ever measure up to such perfect humanity as expressed in those books. Thomas's book is the perfect treatment of this very difficult chapter of her life. She is able to speak the very emotions and mixed feelings and mixed up thoughts that any one would experience in that situation - I find myself reading and thinking YES, this is exactly how I would feel, it's exactly how conflicted and guilty and torn I would feel.
   
   I think I will be taking this book off my shelf many times over the years to re-read. Sitting down with this book feels like sitting down with the author for a long talk over coffee. A very difficult talk, granted, but it reads as one of those memorably discussions you had with a good friend at the end of a very difficult period.
   
   I look forward to finding other Abagail Thomas books.



3. A beautifully written story of loss and survival. Anyone who loves someone and who also loves dogs will understand and be heartened by this book.



4. What a moving and insightful novel. This is the type of book that you savor....re-reading sections, sentences to fully digest the thought. A friend has experience working with traumatic brain injuries and is going to recommend it to her group.



5. This book is a must read especially for anyone who has been or is going through an unexpected life changing event. It is about courage, flexibility, acceptance, and finding the positive aspects of life's difficult situations. It is written in a wonderful style that doesn't leave the reader morose.

5 comments about Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place.

1. I loved and hated this book. It is beatifully written. I found the author frustrating at times. Some parts got a little long winded about the birds. It takes you on a emotional rollercoaster but the pay off of finishing this book is worth it. Any one who has been affected by cancer will find this book very inciteful to the process of going through treatment and also the death process. Terry Tempest gives the most authentic and honest account of what life is like living through cancer I have every read. She put into words thought and feelings I could never express fully.
   The research of the history of the Great Salt Lake was very fun to read about. I have lived in Utah all my life, but I have never been to the Lake I now am very curious to see it and the bird refuge. I think I will find the trip much more interesting now than if I had gone before reading this book.



2. Terry Tempest Williams is a national treasure. Her unvarnished verse carries one deep into the mystery of the Earth and sends us helplessly into the depths of our own hearts. The landscape of wildness breaths a spectacular wisdom under the watchful eyes of this keen observer of wind, rock, desert, sky, sage, along with the birds who soar and dance and play in a benediction to non-sentient life.
   
   When I need to recapture my own mortality along with my own humility, I always return to the verse of this elder of silence and truth. Williams stands alone in the power to convey both outer and inner wildness. Her verse is poetic and healing. One does not read these words but are instead initiated into the heart beat of wild nature. Savor its beauty as you might a calming sunset or a wind swept sea shore calling you ever deeper into your own soul.
   
   Read everything she writes and find peace deep within.



3. The first time I went to Utah, I read Edward Abbey's "Desert Solitaire" and loved it. This time, at a bookstore in Moab, I picked up Williams' "Red" for a contemporary view of the ecological issues around this gorgeous desert landscape, which is unlike any place I have been. Although I liked "Red," people told me "Refuge" was even better.
   
   This is a very special book. I'm no birdwatcher, but it made me want to be. I'm no scientist, but I wished I were. I'm no Mormon, but it gave me respect for a religion I have never been able to fathom. Terry Tempest Williams has profound insights into the natural world. Her observations of the Great Salt Lake and the many migratory birds that visit it are as moving as her account of the death by cancer of her mother and grandmothers. Not surprisingly, they taught Williams awe of birds and sunsets and their own bodies. All of them are brave and spiritual women, and we would be wise to learn from them.
   
   I think what I most admire about Williams as a writer is her emotional courage. Time and time again, she strikes out where more conventional writers would hesitate. She finds redeeming passages from the Book of Mormon. She follows her mother through her long and circuitous spiritual journey with cancer. She follows her grandmother as she moves into Eastern thought and modern physics. She dips respectfully into ancient Indian and Mexican culture. She walks in the desert at some peril to her well-being. She speaks of the intimacy of her marriage and about her decision not to bear children.
   
   Yet his is not a book "about" the desert or cancer or birds or Mormonism, but about life and how it can be richly observed, experienced. shared and redeemed. It's one brave woman's answer to "Desert Solitaire."



4. A rare combination of personal journal and field notes, this story compasses the death of a marsh and the death of a mother, the tenacity of struggling species and the re-birth of a daughter. It moved me to tears -- a decidedly rare experience for me with non-fiction -- and surprised me with those tears at odd times: the beauty of a bird and a place and a moment, or the stoic wisdom of the women who battle with and lose to cancer. In addition to possessing a questioning spirit, and a lover's eye for birds in the wild places she roams, Williams is a downwinder. She and her family are among the officially "inconsequential" population who were conveniently ignored during America's atmospheric nuclear testing in the 50s. The several women (and a few men) in her family who have died from cancers probably linked to those tests have moved her from interest to activism. This book is a record of her baptism in nuclear fire as well as her search for wings. REFUGE is among the armful of books I would grab if my house were on fire. I own two copies so I can lend one without fear. It is absolutely first rate.



5. I found that this book lingered in my thoughts long after I'd finished it. I think that Williams did a fine job paralleling the environment with her own sense of ebbing loss. I am certainly no ecologist, in fact a speech language pathologist, so I can't comment on the factualness of the ecology references. But I felt nature while reading it. Never been to Utah--can't comment on the accuracy of descriptions. But I could sure see it in my mind. I am a woman so the anti-male climate I may not be best to judge. I read it as a dialogue of women, a sisterhood or lack there of at times. Having lost a loved one to breast cancer, I can comment on the sense of impending loss and the need to search for something you that you can stop and "save". I enjoyed this book for what it was to me.

5 comments about Lakota Woman.

1. An interesting look at the American Indian's struggles in the latter half of the 20th century. The perspective of Mary Crow Dog is helpful for those who have no similar life experiences to compare to it. Very good insight.



2. An autobiographical account of Mary Crow Dog's life, this includes experiencing the events that happened at Wounded Knee, and her relationship with her husband, as well as the politics and experiences associated with the AIM political movement.
   
   A look at the disturbing state and problems these people were facing at the time, very interesting.



3. I learnt so much from this book, and felt myself getting angry because of her experiences. good on her for telling her story. L'Ohanna



4. Oh please get out the hankie and feel oh so terribly sorry - - and guilty -for this woman and her tribe. If you light skinned, get out the scourge and whip yourself you evil white person. Only white people are bad. Only people of color are abused. I was a white girl in a foreign country struggling to learn the language and get by and I did. Now I am highly paid having gone through the experience. I learned to speak the language and adapt. Cultures change, people change, ethnic peoples are brutalized, citizens are mistreated. Ms Lakota Woman thinks her life is hard, trying being non-hispanic and live in California!



5. The book provided a side of an American culture that I was unaware of and frankly shocked to learn of. It wasn't a good shock either, the way in which our country treats the American Indians is appalling and actually disturbing. This is a book that should be read in history class, as its contents are not included in any history class I ever took.

5 comments about Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity.

1. For a memoir about promiscuity, there is surprisingly very little about sex. Loose Girl is so much more than a tale about a promiscuous girl. It is a gripping and courageous account of one woman's prolonged struggle with shame and insatiable need.
   
   There is a certain element of seduction buried in the way that author Kerry Cohen frames her poignant story. Only a few pages in, I found myself hopelessly seduced by her impressive ability to captivate the attention of her readers. She is undoubtedly an extremely talented writer and a woman who has clearly mastered a tremendous amount of emotional and psychological growth. Luckily for her audience, she was brave enough to share the painful lessons of her own evolution so that others might learn from her mistakes. It's no surprise that this book has its fair share of critics, but hopefully readers will be wise enough to judge for themselves.
   
   In my opinion, Loose Girl is worth well more than its entertainment value alone. It exposes not only the author's painful past but also the fundamental cracks within the human condition, by which we are all afflicted in some way. It acknowledges the realities of our frailties and dissects the incessant agony of our need, not necessarily in a sexual manner but in a human way. Anyone who has ever felt unworthy, unloved or unsatisfied in any way should definitely pick up a copy of this book.



2. Not about sex but a girl's journey into understanding the double standard game that is out there between girls and guys. It's heartfelt writing and I really felt compassion for the charachter.



3. I was fortunate enough to read a review copy. A MUST READ. Not to be missed. compelling, frightening, heart wrenching, fast paced, horrifying, the sorrowful mysteries. The hollowness of her life makes me vomit. Sadly she can't give, but only take. In the last few pages there is redemption.
   
   I would be curious if young women think this is a typical experience for girls of the writer's age. Her escapades seem to begin in the very early teen years and end perhaps in her mid-twenties. What surprised me also was the unwillingness of some of the young men to jump into bed quickly with her.



4. Most of this book was written with such unflinching honesty, that the poor ending and lack of self-examination or understanding was that much more of a disappointment and shock.
   
   While the author traces her history of longing for physical attention, I felt for the uncertain teenager who believed her worth came solely from males. I believe this is a trap that is easy for any young woman to fall into, but Cohen did so with a vengeance, sleeping her way through high school, college, and beyond.
   
   While I appreciate her bare-bones honesty, I found the book lacking in any sort of self-analysis. I never got the sense that Cohen understood why she felt so undeserving of love, nor why she stayed in unfulfilling, dysfunctional relationships.
   
   Suddenly, she seems "recovered," though I wonder if she truly has made her way out of the abyss. Instead, I think she just replaced one relationship with another. The book ends on a high note, but I think it will be just a matter of time before her insecurities suck her back into her black hole.



5. Loose Girl: a memoir of promiscuity was engaging from beginning to end. I can tell I enjoy something when I can read for at least 30 minutes straight without paying attention to anything else (I usually get distracted very easily). This book hooks you and doesn't let go of you until the end. Around the age of 11-12 Kerry discovers the world of boys and how she can capture their attention and hopefully love as well. She basically becomes addicted to boys and eventually sex as well. She reflects it back onto her upbringing, her mom basically leaving her and her sister behind to start her own life and her father that basically let her do whatever she wanted. I actually identified more so with Kerry's sister, Tyler so it was interesting to read about how Kerry didn't understand her sister and her behavior.
   
   Seeing what Kerry has gone through and what she has achieved in her life definitely makes her a role model. People can't be "cured" of their addictions with the snap of their finger. She realizes that she can take it day by day and can still be OK. She has written fiction and also is a practicing psychotherapist.
   
   I do wish the ending/resolution didn't happen so quickly but this is a memoir so she wrote it how it happened. Maybe I would have liked the book to extend a bit further into her life than where it stopped. All and all a very engaging and important memoir.

5 comments about Service Included: Four-Star Secrets of an Eavesdropping Waiter.

1. What i really want to say is that someone who is brave enough (not afraid of being blacked-balled in the restaraunt world), needs to write what restaraunt workers are really like.
   
   You get a glimpse of the truth in Bourdain's writings....but the place for the misfits, the addicts, the alcoholics, the nearly homeless: your favorite restaraunt. Doesn't matter what or where it is. That waiter who looks so dapper and well-schooled at 9pm.....will be a buzzed and boozed wreck at 3am.
   
   I know this. Family members are the real eavesdroppers.



2. I really wanted to like this book--and this author. But what started out promisingly ultimately fell flat into a heap of 'who cares about your personal relationship with the sommelier?'. The insight gleaned didn't feel revealing (as the book was so hyped to do) and I ended up actually _disliking_ the author by the end, who, in turns, came across as smug, condescending and even small. I wanted this to be a book I was glad to have in hardcover. Instead I'm just left regretting I dropped the cash and didn't read the Amazon reviews beforehand (instead of just the critics'). At the risk of being cast out of some community, I FAR preferred Amanda Hesser's book about her latte-loving boyfriend to this one, which ended up being, in my mind, a book about Phoebe Damrosch's wine-loving one.



3. I couldn't even make it as far as the romantic part. I suspect the problem lay with the nature of her restaurant; rich people overpaying "to be seen" doesn't do it for me.



4. ok i got this book becauce of the place the author worked and the chef she worked for. What I got was a book more about here personal love life which in the brief time she worked there was sev diff coworkers including a secret relationship with a managerial level employee. SO the amount of the book devoted to the chef and the restaurant itself was less than I desired. Her employer Per Se also is one of the first places in the States to charge a service charge on all purchases which the author's tale ends just before its implemented which is also something I wanted to see details on in the book. Sadly the author quits to avoid the loss of income this would entail. It was interesting to learn the chef did this to equalize the kitchen pay to the servers wages. Personally I assumed a place of such caliber would pay well above the standard wages but mind you the servers were probably clearing low 5 figures when they were being tipped.



5. Billed as a front of the house "kitchen confidential" but sadly it was not at all. Mildy interesting but without any of the juice that was promised. Not recommended by me.

5 comments about Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood.

1. I read Smashed while stuck at an airport half the night due to a tornado in the area and managed to finish it on the airplane on my way back home. While I have to admit the book kept me distracted from my situation, I didn't particularly care for her writing style. The absurd amount of metaphors she used were a bit distracting.
   
   My main problem with the book is that she seems to be glorifying what she went through. She insists she is not an alcoholic and I simply cannot understand that. I am speaking as a person who has much knowledge in alcoholism. There are two forms:
   
   1. Heredity (born addicted)
   2. Alcohol abuse that becomes addicting over a period of time.
   
   The author of this book had her stomach pumped and continued to drink. She experienced black outs, lost her best friend and believes she was possibly date-raped. A person who simply abuses alcohol for pleasure would stop when drinking stops becoming pleasurable. Koren Zailckas did not stop.
   
   I also find it highly doubtful that a therapist on-line would diagnose her condition without ever meeting her. This is extremely unprofessional and unethical. A true and liscenced psychiatrist / counselor / physician would have her schedule an appointment and get her screened. The doctor would also have to run tests and a medical check-up to make sure her health has not deteriorated after a decade of binge drinking (liver damage).
   
   I gave the book two stars because I did find the book mildly entertaining. Her book has a nostalgic tone to it and I did find myself almost reliving my adolescence in certain chapters. My annoyances in the book mostly stemmed from the obviously inexperienced writing style and the obvious lack of maturity from the author.



2. 
   
   I read this in conjunction with 'Blackout Girl'. Both books suffer from the same disease...that the authors think the facts of their life story are interesting in and of themselves. But they are not. Tales of dysfunctional parents and wild debauchery may make for a good hour on the Jerry Springer Show, they do not necessarily make interesting reading.
   
   The other issue is that most of the writing is cliched and trite to the point of exhaustion. It did get to the point where I could not finish this book....it no longer seemed worth the investment of time.



3. When I first picked up the book I thought it was fiction. I got into bed and at first was disappointed to find out it was not. However I decided to give it a chance. I was hooked right away. My breath was stolen while I connected to the writer. At my age now I look at my adolescence and young adulthood as if it was someone else but while reading that book it brought back so much emotion. I encouraged my friends and sister to read it because I felt we all could relate and everyone has loved this book. The stories may be shocking, sad, and/or appalling but it happens. It is very real.



4. This book isn't about alcohol abuse, really. It's about a girl from a priviledged family who grows up with lots of friends, becomes a college cheerleader/sorority sister, interns in New York, makes and maintains friendships along the way, and should be an all-around productive, happy citizen. But this girl, from an early age, wants to be a writer. She is especially awestruck by tortured female writers, like Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. I think she assumed that to be a great writer/poet, suffering is essential. Her driving force isn't alchohol, it's the pretense of alcohol abuse because it makes her appear to be tortured. She thinks misery drives creativity. Many great writers/artists are and were indeed lost souls, many with mental health problems. But the author's problems are all self-inflicted. "Look at how much I drink...I'm so tortured! Feel sorry for me!"
   The more I read this book, the more I got the feeling that she had created a character in her own mind and was living it out. Maybe she should have gone into dramatic performance instead of writing. I wonder if the feminists she so hopelessly wants to impress with her smug treatment of men, are indeed impressed by her? She is certainly impressed enough with herself, blaming her actions on everyone around her.
   I got the impression that once she felt that she had suffered enough, she had a book to write. If you continually choose to place yourself in stupid situations, that just makes you stupid, not deep. If you continually remain emotionally and physically detached from "boys," and play mind games with them, guess what, they're not going to stick around. It doesn't make you smarter than them, just more pathetic. This story is like a whiny love letter the author wrote to herself--"See, you are so tortured and filled with angst, you have suffered so greatly, you are a writer!" Making stupid choices and employing the overuse of simile and metaphor doesn't create a great writer...just an annoying story that is written in an annoying manner.



5. I definitely had my party years and some of Koren's life experiences seem to match my own. She doesn't hold back anything and her honesty about the Greek system is accurate. I feel a little less guilty now that I know someone else had the same thoughts running through their head that I did during these less than virtuous moments. I enjoyed this book, but there is a constant sadness in her writing that makes you want to hug yourself and say, "It will be better tomorrow." If you like reading about Greek Life,then you should also read COLLEGE LIFE EXTREME: Lies, Sex, Drugs and Violenceand Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities. Thanks Koren for sharing so much about your life with us! Your book will always have a special place on my bookshelf.

5 comments about Life and Death in Shanghai.

1. Nien Cheng's admirable book, with its lucid and objective account of her dreadful ordeal during the Cultural Revolution, deserves to be widely read. This brutal and destructive period of Chinese history began more than forty years ago, but many of its tormenters and their victims are still alive; people like the "militant female guard," who makes Cheng's life so miserable, must be senior citizens today, watching, or even participating in, the victory of the "capitalist-roaders." Other readers have already bestowed every form of praise on "Life and Death in Shanghai," so I'll merely offer this additional insight. To more fully understand the scope of the Cultural Revolution, I think it's useful to read other accounts of it as well. Cheng's account is from the perspective of a well-born, highly educated, affluent woman, one who chose, with her husband, to return to Shanghai in 1949 because they felt that the Communists had the capacity to reform and restructure Chinese society. In short, they were patriots. An interesting and very different perspective is presented in Anchee Min's "Red Azalea," as it is the account of a young woman whose family has little money and no connections. As a result, she is buffeted by forces she often cannot control, and she grasps at opportunities for release from the collective farm and for an education as if she were being swept down a powerful river, occasionally grasping at a branch that pulls her out of the current. Then there is Jung Chang's "Wild Swans," which is quite different. To my mind, the most interesting story in her memoir is that of her parents, true believers in the communist revolution. Their gradual fall and bitter disillusionment is the central story of "Wild Swans." Read "Life and Death in Shanghai," then read the others, and you'll gain a complex and complicated picture of life during the Cultural Revolution.



2. This book is a good Focused Look at Detainment in Cultural Revolution. Most of the book is told while she is in a detainment camp (not prison, she never actually was sentenced to anything). Basically, all her problems were owing to the leftists in the communist party lead by Jiang Qin and the gang of four, who wanted to elicit a confession from her that she was a spy, which in turn would have to the downfall of several of their political opponents (zhou enlai if i am not mistaken). I most admire her persistence in never admitting fault even after 6 years and some mild torture. It reminds me a lot of Joseph Smith who persisted in claiming that he had spoken with God in person, even when many many people called him a liar or a false prophet. I have always admired those who are true to themselves and don't give into the social pressure to change just because they face persecution.



3. Nien Chang's account of her encounter with the Cultural Revolution is the best book of this kind that I recall. Many others have written about their experiences, some in memoir form, others in fictionalized form. NC's is the most accessible to the Western reader, she can relate to our expectations better than some of the others, and she writes more specifically for a Western audience. Her personal background made that easier for her than for many others, she had this working history with a large foreign corporation (no product placements in my reviews!).
   The sad fact is that the subject interests non-Chinese or 'Overseas Chinese' substantially more than the population of the People's Republic. Books like NC's are often talked down because they are successfull in the West. That fact seems to be a negative mark. This applies also to Jun Chang's Wild Swans, while her later bio of the great helmsman is taboo.
   The desire to forget about the past is so overwhelming, that many shut their eyes and minds to the recent past. (Actually not that recent any more.) With this strong wish to close the chapter, and in a situation of overwhelming success and progress for the country as a whole, the ruling elites find it very easy to put the Cultural Revolution into a kind of frozen state of taboo: it is not denied, but it is not visited with the purpose of understanding and digesting it. The man who provoked it is sacrosanct, he can not be touched by criticism. The negative things are assigned to others, like the Gang of Four.
   (Who was it who wrote here recently that history does not change?)



4. Nein Cheng lived a comfortable middle class existance...in Shanghai during the height of the Cultural Revolution. Big mistake. Her comfortable lifestyle and connections to the West (via Shell Oil, her former employer) make her a target of the Red Brigade. Imagine if you will, waking up one morning to find a bunch of politically jacked up teenagers suddenly given the freedom to ransack your home, determine whether or not you are a danger to society, and beat you, arrest you, humiliate you and arrest you. Ms. Cheng is imprisoned and everything she has is taken away...rare works of art, priceless porcelains. This irreplacable beauty is, for the most part, destroyed by the loutish thugs -- the 14 and 15 year olds who ran amok, brandishing their political clout -- who made up the bulk of the Mao Cult that was the Red Brigade. Cheng is arrested and sent to a hellacious prison. Beaten, starved, subjected to brutal interrogation, Chen is indomitable. She does not confess, she does not kowtow, she sticks to her guns and even dares to lecture her captors and, in the process, drive them crazy. She lives this nightmare year after year, never budging from her declaration of innocence, never seeing or hearing from her beloved daughter. But no matter what they do to her, Cheng does not give in. Give in? She doesn't give an inch. We learn, though her, fascinating lessons in the political subtlties that fomented chaos and laws during this period. Through hints and reading between the lines of the official propoganda that the prisoners were forced to listen to, she pieces together much of the political climate and events. Her tenacity, stubborn contrariness and refusal to make any concessions to her captors is inspirational, astounding and, frankly, almost unbelievable. Even when the political climate changes and she is given her release, she insists that the prison "confess" its error. This is not a lady to trifle with. Upon her release, she immediately begins to search for her daughter, and for the restoration of whatever of her property has survived the Red Guard. The second half of the book -- Ms. Cheng's "rehabilitation" is as compelling as the first part. It's a book that is impossible to put down and certainly the best of a spate of first-hand accounts of this horrible "Through the Looking Glass" period of China's history. Nien Cheng is one hell of a tough lady, her book is moving, thought-provoking and compelling.



5. Nien Cheng is quite the lady with some experience to tell. Growing up in China as part of the wealthy class, her life changed all of a sudden as the Great Cultural Revolution came down her street.... It's a chilling story of a mob mentality that pretends to "purify" society of evils of the day. It's a sobering story that unveils and condemns the horrors of communism. Required read.

5 comments about In His Sights: A True Story of Love and Obsession.

1. 
   
   
   
   Stalk, stalking, stalker - all frightening words. They are words that we see in newspapers, online, or in books. Fortunately for most of us those words are not applicable to our lives, yet we do know that millions of women are terrorized by stalkers. Frequently these women are too frightened to speak out. Not so for Kate Brennan who has been the victim of a stalker for some 13 years. Choosing to write pseudonymously in order to protect those close to her, Kate recounts years of emotional turmoil, fear, aggravation, and anything but a normal life.
   
   Those years have also been a time of growing self-awareness as she remembers growing up in an alcoholic family and the fact that she has always been attracted by slightly out of sync, controlling men. She wonders how she could have loved and once trusted a man capable of such fearful acts. Kate believes that the answer is "...that life with my family had left me with such a high tolerance for cruelty I couldn't recognize perversion when I saw it." Then, as she notes, when she did see it she still thought that sick people could be well, that enough love and understanding might heal. She learned how very wrong she was.
   
   Kate first met Paul at a party in the home of friends. A writer and Bronte scholar, she went alone, comfortable with herself as a 41-year-old single woman. Paul was attractive, a charmer, and independently wealthy. He was a photographer, and the two shared a love of travel. He pursued her and despite past poor luck at romance Kate moved in with him.
   
   However, Paul was not at all what he seemed to be. It wasn't too long before he began having affairs, there were signs of illegal dealings, his once congenial facade changed dramatically. Kate moved out. She thought this was easily done - just walk away. She learned differently. "You can do all the psychic and physical separation you want, but there's no getting away from someone who wants to remind you he can mess with your life anytime he wants." Paul has the resources to do just that, and she now realizes it will not be over as long as he lives.
   
   She has moved repeatedly, still her phone goes dead because her account has been canceled. Small things are moved from place to place in her apartment, people are hired to intimidate her. When she goes to a movie, she first locates the exit then sits in the back row so she can keep an eye on the audience. There is nothing the police can do because there is no solid evidence against Paul.
   
   One wonders how she has been able to maintain her sanity through all of this. Kate's story is a chilling one, even more terrifying because it is true.
   
   - Gail Cooke



2. I ordered this book immediately after seeing it advertised in a newspaper and read it almost straight through once I got it. I'm very sad for this author who has to be so aware & methodical in her daily doings and living. I also greatly admire her strength and tenacity in being in "control" of her own life while also being Mindful of how quickly the rug can be pulled out from under her. An amazing lady for sure!!



3. I had high hopes for this book. I myself was a victim of stalking several years ago, and was looking forward to reading an honest account of it. By the time I was 3/4 of the way through this book, I was genuinely beginning to believe that the author either fabricated most of the plot (which is fine, but just don't call it non-fiction) or, more frighteningly, was *herself* the obsessed one.
   
   When you really get right down to it, this is the memoir of a deeply narcissistic, navel-gazing woman who took extreme-yet-illogical measures like traveling under an assumed name (like a customs agent in the United Kingdom, post 9/11, is going to care about a hand-written letter from a small town police chief when her airline ticket doesn't match her passport?) and yet she continues to go to the same therapist for a decade, continues to go to the same libraries for years and years, etc.?
   
   I just finished this book tonight. Once I read the last page, I sat down and thought, 'OK, what really happened?' She never once, except for at the very end, actually SAW Paul. She slipped it in that he had REMARRIED and completed MEDICAL SCHOOL, all the while he was allegedly stalking her? C'mon. So, her phone line went dead a few times. She herself admits it happened only once every two years or so. She saw an acquaintance at an airline ticket office, an acquaintance who apparently didn't even take note of her. Her "complex, modern" alarm system rang false alarms a few times. So does mine. All the time. I can't think of anything else that happened to support her claims of being stalked.
   
   She was never assaulted. She was never threatened; not verbally, not in writing, not second-hand. She never once saw her alleged stalker, nor did she imply that he was following her and was just good at hiding. A backpacker in the woods in Maine asked if he could sit next to her. GASP! CALL THE POLICE!!
   
   Honestly, I am surprised at my own reaction to this, but I guess I feel really tricked and manipulated by this book. There's simply no evidence that this woman was stalked, let alone brutally stalked by a virtual ARMY of paid "surrogates" for more than a decade. I think she is chronically bored, has an overactive imagination, and was perhaps spurned by Paul. What kind of a person doesn't get out the FIRST time their boyfriend says, "Does it bother you that I have a gun in the house?" Does it really ring true that she laid there night after night as he asked and re-asked that question? Wouldn't it be a little more realistic that she might turn over and go "What the hell, freako? You asked me that last night, and the night before that!"
   
   Another lie: She says she didn't get a restraining order because Paul would've had to come to court and be in the same room with her. That is an absolute falsehood. The system is not set up that way.
   
   If I am wrong, then God forgive me. But I don't think I am. Do some critical thinking, folks. Look at the evidence she provides. Look at the likelihood of some of her stories about creating false identities and "going on the run," yet then she returns to her mother's house (where presumably Paul had frequently been a visitor when they were dating) and lives there for a year without a worry?
   
   In conclusion? I don't buy it. In the very beginning of the book, she says she will not name anyone still alive in her acknowledgments, because she is afraid that Paul will hurt them. At the end, she goes on to name full, first and last names of several people who helped her with the book. Huh? I also found it interesting that apparently, according to the author's own words, several people in her life also decided that this alleged "stalking" was a fabricated drama of her own making. I'm with them.



4. I am surprised by the anger this book generated in a recent review. I, too, read the book. It was clear the experience was fully documented as accurate. Although documenting subtle and mind-playing games must be difficult, it was apparent that the authorities saw it as real and recognized the potential for great danger and harm. I applaud the effort and courage this author extended to validate her own experience and the experiences of others who feel helpless and victimized.



5. This book is an amazing look inside the life of someone who's being stalked. It's written in such a compelling way, I couldn't put it down-- Both times I read it. It makes you both sad and angry because it reveals how ill equipped we are to protect the victims of this crime. Everyone should read it. It's that good.

5 comments about Women of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Women in Scripture.

1. I LOVE this book. I have been using it this past year and am now buying it for friends!



2. This is one of the best book purchases I've ever made. This is a wonderful devotional. I look forward to opening it up everyday. You will not be disappointed.



3. We are using this in our Women's Circle at church and take one of the Women each meeting we have. It has been a really good study and I have really enjoyed learning about these women in depth.



4. This is a wonderful book! However, in the copy I received there were some faded pages that were difficult to read. It was small disappointment in an otherwise very pleasant choice!



5. this book gives a different insight to the women in the bible. It is easy to read and find yourself in the "time" of the women of long ago

5 comments about Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously.

1. Some of the negative reviews seem oddly fixated on the authors swearing (?) or having sex (?) or even that she wastes/spends too much on food. (Doesn't all gourmet cooking do that by definition?) Why blame that on her? She also lives in the most expensive city in the US - her salary makes her poor there, she isn't exaggerating at all. She is a young woman living in New York - duh. So she curses and drinks and talks about sex. Big deal.
   
   But on to the book - This is an unadorned look at a journey in someone's life, which happens to involve cooking and the divine Julia Child hovering over it all as sort of a cooking life-coach/ fairy godmother.....it isn't a cook book per se. The focus is on a discovery of self - it's a memoir. If you are looking for the wrong thing in a book - why blame the book? Blogs are diaries - remember them, those unvarnished outpourings of life's melodramatic struggle? That is what this is, albeit a bit more polished. I though it was intriguing and read it all in a short time - I wanted to see how she did. Maybe one needs to be at the age of self discovery or open to changes in lifes plan to see the merit.
   
   I loved it, you may not, But it is an interesting journey to read, very uplifting and real. Her writing brings you into the story, you feel a real kinship...And there's butter...lots and lots of butter.
   
   *By the way, she isn't mean to 9/11 survivors families as claimed by one review. The woman is not Ann Coulter, just someone who had a rather thankless job wherein she had to field a lot of PR complaints over things she had no control over. The rebuilding effort of the towers site is a political football in reality. Lighten up, people. You are seeing things that aren't there. And the reason that she is upset about her biological clock is that she was diagnosed with a chronic health problem, PCOS, which she will have to deal with for the rest of her life, making her very prone to infertility and certain cancers. There is no cure, no effective treatments - look it up those of you who accuse her of whining. It's no picnic.



2. This book made me laugh and has inspired me to get on my cooking and baking spree again. The story is raw and real and I like that!
   If you love cooking and baking and aren't a food snob....you will love this book! Julie and Julia...Thank You!



3. This blog/book is like a bag of Cheetos. It's so yummy and cheesy and you just can't stop and you really should stop and you kind of slow down and then you feel full and then you have another handful and then you fold up the bag and start to put it where you can't reach it and then you eat another handful and feel kind of yucky and then you wish you'd never seen those Cheetos ever because they weren't really that good to begin with. You don't eat Cheetos again for a long time. This book is a tidbit, not worth the money.



4. This lady is funny, quick witted, especially insightful and brutally honest. And I'm not talking about Julia Childs. I found this book belly-laugh funny. Even if you don't like to cook, it's a good read.



5. I rounded up. I'dve gone with a 4.5., mainly because I think that some points were belabored, but it was a hysterical memoir filled with mistakes and blunders, cursing and all-in-all a wonderful narrator. I think one of the paragraphs towards the end summed it up for me: "Sometimes, if you want to be happy, you've got to run away to Bath and marry a punk rocker. Sometimes you've got to dye your hair cobalt blue, or wander remote islands in Sicily, or cook your way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year, for no good reason. Julia taught me that." In other words, life is messy. And that's if you're doing it right.