5 comments about Brain-Damage: A Book About Overcoming Cognitive Deficit and Creating the New You.

1. Brain Damage is an amazing journey. Both the story and its author are testaments to the indomitableness of the human spirit in its quest for wholeness. However, the author's pilgrimage, compelling in its own right, is but a subplot to a recurring theme throughtout the book. This is a love story, marriage the way God intended it. "For better or worse, in sickness and in health"--vows often spoken but not always honored, expecially when tested the way these were. You will love this book, and you will love the way these two people love each other. Enjoy their journey, then I challenge you. See if you can ever again be angry with your spouse for ignoring the budget or failing to lower the toilet seat.



2. What can I say....I laughed, I cried (rest in peace, Shardak), and then I laughed again (out loud, alone in the room, 1 AM). I saw myself and wondered why anyone who has ever lost their car keys is not in the same program right along with the "Rehabbers". Dick shares some very personal moments with his readers (some of these things it would never occur to me to share with some of my closest friends). He really grabs you and makes you think.....and laugh....and cry.... I felt like I was sitting and sharing secrets with my best friend. Truly inspirational, in many ways!! Thanks for sharing yourself with the world!!



3. Dick Schmeltzof's very personal book, Brain Damage, is both heartwarming and informative. He treats a very serious subject with humor, wit and compassion. It is difficult to imagine the drastic changes that have occurred in Dick's life since the emergency surgery to remove a tumor on his pituitary gland. But through his carefully constructed narrative, we can "feel" his frustrations and also revel in the incremental -- yet moving forward -- progress that he makes. His is a story of great courage, hope and love; a lesson for Humanity. Thanks to Dick for sharing this moving and insightful story of life after brain surgery. Readers will laugh. They will weep. And finally, they will applaud this incredible human being. Dick demonstrates a real gift for storytelling through this book. Let's hope he delights us with "Brain Damage II".



4. This is one story that will inspire many people and give them hope for recovery from brain injuries. The author uses humor and wit and weaves his story of how he over came and coped with his "brain damge". It is a positive message about a serious concern. The book is a great read even if you do not have anyone in your lfie with brain damage - it really is about attitude and how you can cope with whatever happens to you in your life.
   
   I totally recomend this book to all readers. It will add something to your life in a positive way. It is uplifting!



5. As a psychologist for 30 years I have read many professional texts and self-help books. This is a valuable book for people entering the healing professions as well as for patients and their caretakers because, throughout, it touches on a man's path to recovering from brain damage. It touches on his creating a personal philosophy to see him through, skills he learned along the way, including self-assertion, and finally the love he's learned along the way.
   Dick Schmelzkopf's book, Brain Damage: Overcoming adversity with wit and humor, challenges us to observe what is, to most of us, the mundane choices of life, what to wear, doing chores, and handling finances through his brain-damaged mind. This book is a practical, no-nonsense, road map outlining the rehabilitation process of a brain-damaged man ... and more. In addition, the author describes what one can expect to experience along the way and shares his views that will help people understand what tools one needs on such a journey. It will make the trip easier for all who make this journey and those who accompany them. Reading this book illuminates our lives and can only make us more tolerant, compassionate, and caring. I'm a better psychologist for having read it.
   Philosophy
   From his first thoughts after surgery, Dick Schmelzkopf psychologically reframes how he sees life. Dick's advice to "Add Quality of Life to your personal credo" will shake the whininess out of anyone's "pity party." Many who have died on the operating table and are brought back to life also make this shift in their thinking through the transformational experience.
   Dick avoids sliding into non-productive funks when he admonishes us, "Don't beat yourself up ... Remember it and learn by it." Combine Dick's advice to us all that we "... need challenges and interests. If you don't have one, get one," with his personal stance, "I will never, never give up," which explains much of his success. Dick's dogged determination to master whatever functions his brain surgery left him is a model to everyone, with or without brain damage. Dick's prior work as a salesman has, I believe, contributed to his use of affirmations like, "I have a positive attitude that guarantees success." Dick adapted the adage, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade," into his personal mantra, "If you're given brain damage, write about it." In addition to being great rehabilitation therapy for him, it gives his life meaning and purpose that this book "... will give somebody an idea of how to help themselves or someone they love."
   Skills
   This book has many techniques for the brain-damaged person to use to enhance the quality of their life and the lives of their caregivers. His recitation of his abilities, pre and post- surgery, can be an instruction manual, both for the patient and for caregivers. Whether discussing the impact on his decision-making or judgment, Dick lays out the roadmap of how a brain-damaged person can regain control of whatever is left by the surgeon's scalpel. Dick constantly reminds us of the need for the acceptance of the "slow and arduous task" of rehabilitation by patients, caregivers and health care professionals.
   Dick teaches us by example. His strategy of linking his interests in darts to solving a math problem clearly shows how a brain-damaged person can learn how to cope. He serves up the problems he's had, like pattern recognition, then follows up with helpful hints for dealing with his "broken recognizer." Dick's rituals, for rebuilding his vocabulary, are his menu for finding and using what works for him. Dick's "Rule number one" for the cognitively challenged (and their caregivers) is proof that his "... pen is mightier that the surgeon's sword." Dick's comment about his re-learned poker skills are a warning to us all, should we ever find ourselves across a poker table from him.
   His determination to define himself in his new life is a triumphant assertion of the human spirit and will. Dick's response to people who treat him as less than equal is a prime example of a psychologically healthy outlook, succinctly put, that others see him as a person of worth and dignity, handicap be damned. Dick's admonition that "Brain-damaged means we may be a little slower in some areas, but don't count us out," works as well for those with an aging brain as it is instructive to caregivers and health care professionals alike.
   Love
   This book is as much a love story of two people committed to each other in ways only a few lucky people will ever experience. It emphatically says, "Take heart, caregivers," when Dick tells caregivers, "You are important," and you feel it when he says throughout the book, "Ain't love grand?" You will find this book is full of heart, love, compassion, humor and common sense that prove that to overcome a handicap, the wisdom of the heart trumps intelligence. Every time. The two pages discussing Grief is worth the price of the book alone. Its lesson is the power of compassion, love and illuminates the author's humanity, or, as his wife says, "ECCE HOMO," which translates as "Behold, A Man."
   Dick's rehabilitation journey is not complete, nor will it ever be. After a year of rehab work he has found, however, the best path for himself. He's currently busy on many writing projects. We wish him God-speed and Dragon's Luck.

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5 comments about Dancing in the Dark.

1. I loved Dancing in the Dark: Things My Mother Never Told me. I am a licensed clinical social worker and am co-director of Aging Network Services, Bethesda, Maryland. This book really grabbed me - it moved along so smoothly. The author's mother and sister came across as two very troubled people who don't grapple well with life and cause those around them even more trouble, as so well described. The book gives an excellent description of family dynamics - only one who has personal experience with such a difficult sibling and parent could possibly write in such a compelling manner. I have been spreading the word about the book to my clients who believe that no one is as difficult as their parent.

   For some understanding of the roots of such difficult behaviors look up the book I wrote with my partner Barbara Kane: Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide For Stressed Out Children.

   Grace Lebow, LCSW-C




2. You would think that the loss of not one, but two of your children, to a chronic disease, would prepare you for any of life's disappointments, surprsises, heartbreaks. But, when the author becomes aware of the subterfuge of her mother and sister, she finds that her recently mending heart begins to tear again. A touching story that most of us can identify with. I highly recommend it.



3. Rosalie Kramer has a way with words. Her story held me spellbound. Some of the events she told in her book probably can be recognized by many daughters. I could not put the book down. I think everyone will have the same reaction. My words to Ms Kramer - "write on."



4. I was disappointed in this book. I found the characters to be black and white (e.g., Mom and Sis were bad; the author was good) and the writing didn't ring true. I felt more empathy for the author when she was writing about her terminally ill sons than about her feelings about her mother and sister.



5. I think that there should be an option of supplying this book with zero stars rather than one. I don't think that this book should be under any popular online book store, that has talented writers, because this book doesnt classify under any acceptable reading material. I do not reccomend this book for further reading.

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2 comments about In the Weather of the Heart.

1. I bought this book originally because I am a close friend of the author's son. However, reading it was a truly emotional experience, which literally left me crying. This is a beautiful book, one of the top 10 books I have ever read.



2. This was one of the best books I have ever read. I could relate so well to her situation as I was also married to an addict. It helped me through a very difficult time. I have read the book several times and each time was very moved by her story.

3 comments about When the Music Stopped.

1. "When the Music Stopped" is the touching story of the faith and courage of Patti, a beautiful and talented woman with ALS, (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and an "ordinary man's journey " of 3 ½ years as her caregiver. Mike Wright tells his story with compassion, startling honesty and humor. The reader shares the impact that this devastating terminal illness has on every aspect of life. The author's objective is "to encourage those who must walk a similar path.."

   Unlike "Tuesdays With Morrie" this book deals with the 24/7 challenges that the caregiver faces as one muscle group after another fails. Wright gives many practical and creative ways he found to deal with the constantly changing needs that ALS presents. Anticipating Patti's needs was one of his greatest challenges. The author gives suggestions to caregivers such as: "picking your battles, pace yourself, sleep a moment at a time, cry if you need to, and share laughter."

   Wright emphasized the importance of accepting help when you need it. He describes a group of 15 friends he called Patti's Angels who assumed the caregiver roll in the afternoons so he could work part time.

   Admitting that the physical and emotional exhaustion was often overwhelming for both of them they found that a sense of humor was a key to survival. Wright describes his first awkward attempts at learning how to put on panty house and apply makeup. Helping Patti to try on clothes in a cramped ladies dressing room in the mall when she was unable to move her arms or stand without assistance provided laughs for months to come. Humor helped the couple deal with many difficult situations.

   The Wright's college aged son and teenaged daughter each wrote a chapter describing how they coped with their mother's terminal illness. Their honesty mirrors that of their father.

   The book describes the grief process following the death of Patti
   and the difficult road to recovery ending with his remarriage four years later.
   This book is not only an inspiring story of a courageous woman but it's a tribute to her caregiver who was anything but ordinary.




2. This is a MUST read, even for those of us who haven't had a loved one with ALS!! Mike Wright is an inspiration to us all and his stuggles are some we all can relate with. Thanks to him for getting more information out there for ALS families. May God bless him richly!



3. When The Music Stopped was a heart-wrenching book, as the reader could feel the helplessness and hopelessness in each stage and step along the way of this disease. As a "veteran" caregiver myself, I could certainly empathize with Mr. Wright. When a loved one is terminally ill, many try to find the "magic bullet" to cure such disease. We all know there's usually no such thing as a magic bullet, but we can't help but grasp for any straw that might prolong our loved one's life even if only for a few days. A terminal illness is a roller coaster ride that takes one on such highs and lows and the end result is always the same.

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